
Key findings
- 34% of Brits say being unfaithful with someone else while on holiday “doesn’t count” as infidelity.
- 41% believe a holiday fling is fundamentally different from an affair at home – citing distance, anonymity and the “holiday version of themselves” as reasons.
- 27% say what happens abroad should stay abroad – and their partner would agree.
- 19% admit they’ve acted on that belief; of those, 74% say they have no regrets.
- Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.
It’s one of Britain’s most quietly held beliefs – and according to new data, a surprisingly large number of people genuinely stand by it: if it happens abroad, it doesn’t really count.
A poll of 2,000 adults conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, has found that 1 in 3 Brits (34%) do not consider a sexual encounter with someone else while on holiday to constitute cheating – at least not in the traditional sense. And with the peak summer holiday season now under way, the timing could not be more relevant.
The reasoning, it turns out, is remarkably consistent. 41% say a holiday fling feels fundamentally different from an affair at home – citing the distance from normal life, the anonymity of being somewhere nobody knows you, and what several respondents described as becoming a “different version of themselves” the moment they land. The rules of home, they argue, simply don’t follow you through the departure gate.
27% go further still, saying not only do they believe what happens abroad stays abroad – but that their partner, on some level, would quietly agree. A kind of unspoken holiday amnesty, observed but never discussed.
19% admit they have acted on that belief at some point in their relationship – and never mentioned it to their partner. Of those, 74% say they have no regrets, and 61% say it had no negative impact on their relationship whatsoever.
The holiday locations most associated with the “it doesn’t count” mentality are, perhaps unsurprisingly, the sun-and-sangria circuit. Spain topped the list, cited by 37% of respondents, followed by Greece (30%), Ibiza specifically (28%), Dubai (22%) and Italy (19%).
The pattern shows up again in a separate strand of the site’s summer research on real-life Casa Amor, which found a third of Brits admit to straying, or coming close, the moment their partner’s back is turned – with the girls’ or lads’ holiday abroad one of the most likely settings.
“Mark*”, 43, from Leeds, is unrepentant. “I’ve been with my wife for fifteen years and I love her completely. But I’ve had two holiday flings in that time – once in Barcelona, once in Dubai – and I genuinely don’t think of either as cheating. You’re in a different country, you’re a different person, and it goes no further. It stays there. That’s just how I see it.”
Jessica Leoni, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, said: “The ‘it doesn’t count abroad’ rule is one of the great unspoken agreements in British relationship culture – and our data suggests it’s far more widespread than most people would admit at a dinner party. What’s interesting is that it isn’t just men saying this. Women are almost equally likely to hold this view, which tells you something about how the idea of a ‘holiday self’ has become genuinely embedded in the way Brits think about fidelity.”
She added: “Whether it counts or not is, of course, entirely a matter of what you and your partner have agreed – explicitly or otherwise. But the fact that nearly 1 in 5 people have acted on this belief and never told their partner suggests that for a significant chunk of the population, the holiday fling occupies its own moral category entirely. Not quite an affair. Not quite nothing. Just something that happened in the sun, and stayed there.”
Results
Top destinations where Brits have had holiday affairs.
| Destination | % |
|---|---|
| Spain | 37% |
| Greece | 30% |
| Ibiza | 28% |
| Dubai | 22% |
| Italy | 19% |
| Tenerife | 18% |
| Turkey | 15% |
| Portugal | 10% |
| Mexico | 6% |
| Thailand | 5% |
*Name has been changed to protect identity.
About Illicit Encounters
IllicitEncounters.com is the UK’s largest and longest-running extramarital dating site, established in 2004. The site has over one million UK members and publishes regular research on modern infidelity and relationships in Britain, with expert commentary from sex and relationships expert Jessica Leoni.
Press contact: [email protected]
