* Military wife, 60, says her husband of 40 years encourages her to sleep with other men – and even watches
* Couple turned to IllicitEncounters.com after health problems changed their sex life, with the husband even choosing her partners
* The pair insist their unusual arrangement has strengthened their marriage – with one strict rule: “No kissing on the lips”
The Conversation That Changed Everything
She’s been married for over four decades, met her husband in the military, and has a sex life that would make most people’s eyes water – but it’s her spouse that sets the rules.
Janet*, 60, has an arrangement with her older husband that most couples couldn’t imagine. When his health meant their sex life together changed, he didn’t shy away from the conversation. Instead, over a bottle of wine one evening, he asked her a question that would change everything.
“We’d been out for dinner and got chatting to a really lovely couple at the next table,” she says. “When we got home my husband just asked me, out of the blue, whether I’d ever thought about sleeping with someone else. I said I had. And he said – why don’t you do something about it?”
The First Time – and What Happened Next
So Janet went online, found a suitable match, and – with her husband’s full blessing – arranged to meet him. The only condition? Her husband wanted to be there too. “I was nervous,” she admits. “Really nervous. So I asked if my husband could be present when we first had sex. The man agreed. My husband wasn’t sure at first but he went along with it.”
The experience, she says, was a revelation – for both of them. “The sex was amazing. And afterwards my husband and I talked about how he’d felt watching. I was expecting him to say it was a mistake. Instead he said he’d enjoyed watching me have a good time.”
How the Arrangement Works
The arrangement has continued ever since, using IllicitEncounters.com. Janet always asks her husband’s permission before meeting anyone new, and he has the final say on who she sleeps with. He doesn’t always watch – sometimes he’ll potter around the house and look in occasionally to check she’s okay – but his presence is always close by.
He has just one rule. “He says I am never to be kissed on the lips,” she says. “He told me that kissing is an act of love. What I do with these men is just sex. I thought that was quite beautiful, actually.”
“This Isn’t About Humiliation – It’s About Love”
Janet is at pains to point out that what she and her husband have is nothing like the cuckold relationships people might assume. This isn’t about humiliation or power games. It’s about a long-married couple finding a practical, loving solution to a change in their circumstances – and discovering, somewhat to their surprise, that it works.
“I am not in love with any of these men,” she says firmly. “I am using their body for pleasure, just as they are using mine. My husband is the only man I love. That has never changed.”
Nobody in her life knows about her arrangement – and she intends to keep it that way. “People would be very surprised if they knew,” she says, with some understatement. “I think some of them would be quite envious.”
Expert Comment from Jessica Leoni
Jessica Leoni, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, said: “Janet’s story is one of the most genuinely touching we’ve come across. What she and her husband have built together isn’t about betrayal – it’s about communication, trust and a refusal to let circumstances get in the way of their relationship. In twenty years of running this site, the couples who navigate these conversations with honesty and love always surprise us. Most people couldn’t have that conversation over a bottle of wine. These two made it work over forty years.”
Forty Years of Talking Through Everything
She still gets nervous before meeting someone new. But, after 40-plus years of marriage, a shared military career and a life built together, she and her husband have found their own version of loyalty. “We have been through everything together,” she says. “This is just another part of our life. We talk about everything. Always have.”
*Name has been changed
