“My husband watches – and he loves it”: The military wife whose husband of 40 years chooses who she sleeps with

* Military wife, 60, says her husband of 40 years encourages her to sleep with other men – and even watches
* Couple turned to IllicitEncounters.com after health problems changed their sex life, with the husband even choosing her partners
* The pair insist their unusual arrangement has strengthened their marriage – with one strict rule: “No kissing on the lips”

The Conversation That Changed Everything

She’s been married for over four decades, met her husband in the military, and has a sex life that would make most people’s eyes water – but it’s her spouse that sets the rules.

Janet*, 60, has an arrangement with her older husband that most couples couldn’t imagine. When his health meant their sex life together changed, he didn’t shy away from the conversation. Instead, over a bottle of wine one evening, he asked her a question that would change everything.

“We’d been out for dinner and got chatting to a really lovely couple at the next table,” she says. “When we got home my husband just asked me, out of the blue, whether I’d ever thought about sleeping with someone else. I said I had. And he said – why don’t you do something about it?”

The First Time – and What Happened Next

So Janet went online, found a suitable match, and – with her husband’s full blessing – arranged to meet him. The only condition? Her husband wanted to be there too. “I was nervous,” she admits. “Really nervous. So I asked if my husband could be present when we first had sex. The man agreed. My husband wasn’t sure at first but he went along with it.”

The experience, she says, was a revelation – for both of them. “The sex was amazing. And afterwards my husband and I talked about how he’d felt watching. I was expecting him to say it was a mistake. Instead he said he’d enjoyed watching me have a good time.”

How the Arrangement Works

The arrangement has continued ever since, using IllicitEncounters.com. Janet always asks her husband’s permission before meeting anyone new, and he has the final say on who she sleeps with. He doesn’t always watch – sometimes he’ll potter around the house and look in occasionally to check she’s okay – but his presence is always close by.

He has just one rule. “He says I am never to be kissed on the lips,” she says. “He told me that kissing is an act of love. What I do with these men is just sex. I thought that was quite beautiful, actually.”

“This Isn’t About Humiliation – It’s About Love”

Janet is at pains to point out that what she and her husband have is nothing like the cuckold relationships people might assume. This isn’t about humiliation or power games. It’s about a long-married couple finding a practical, loving solution to a change in their circumstances – and discovering, somewhat to their surprise, that it works.

“I am not in love with any of these men,” she says firmly. “I am using their body for pleasure, just as they are using mine. My husband is the only man I love. That has never changed.”

Nobody in her life knows about her arrangement – and she intends to keep it that way. “People would be very surprised if they knew,” she says, with some understatement. “I think some of them would be quite envious.”

Expert Comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, said: “Janet’s story is one of the most genuinely touching we’ve come across. What she and her husband have built together isn’t about betrayal – it’s about communication, trust and a refusal to let circumstances get in the way of their relationship. In twenty years of running this site, the couples who navigate these conversations with honesty and love always surprise us. Most people couldn’t have that conversation over a bottle of wine. These two made it work over forty years.”

Forty Years of Talking Through Everything

She still gets nervous before meeting someone new. But, after 40-plus years of marriage, a shared military career and a life built together, she and her husband have found their own version of loyalty. “We have been through everything together,” she says. “This is just another part of our life. We talk about everything. Always have.”

*Name has been changed

Further Reading

Bank Holiday Heatwave Set to Trigger Record Sign-Ups on UK’s Biggest Affairs Site

* IllicitEncounters.com is predicting its biggest ever Bank Holiday spike in new sign-ups as temperatures are forecast to hit 30°C this weekend
* A lethal combination of scorching heat, a three-day weekend and the “sundrunk” effect is expected to drive a surge in Brits seeking affairs
* Data from previous heatwaves shows sign-ups spike by up to 58% during hot weather – but a Bank Holiday weekend on top could smash all previous records

The Perfect Storm: Heat Meets a Long Weekend

Britain is bracing for a Bank Holiday heatwave – and it won’t just be the temperatures that are rising.

IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, is predicting its biggest ever Bank Holiday surge in new sign-ups as forecasters confirm temperatures will hit 30°C this weekend. The combination of scorching heat and a three-day weekend is expected to create the perfect storm for a record-breaking ‘cheatwave’.

What the Data Tells Us

Last year, a single hot spell sent new registrations on the site soaring by 58% in just four days, peaking as temperatures hit 34.7°C. This weekend’s forecast of 30°C may be slightly cooler – but crucially, it arrives alongside a Bank Holiday weekend, a factor that the affairs site data suggests could more than make up the difference.

Expert Comment from Jessica Leoni

“We’ve never had both at the same time to this degree,” says Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com. “Normally it’s one or the other – a heatwave, or a long weekend. This time we’ve got both, and the two feed each other in ways that are very predictable to us. Heat lowers inhibitions. A long weekend removes routine. Put them together and you have a very large number of people sitting in a garden with a cold drink, feeling restless, wondering what they’re missing.”

Who’s Most Likely to Sign Up This Weekend

Previous data from the affairs site shows that women make up 62% of new members during heatwave periods, with the biggest spike among 35–44-year-olds. 68% of those who joined during last year’s hot spell said the heat made them feel more impulsive, while 55% said the soaring temperatures gave them the final push to act on something they’d been considering for some time.

The Science Behind the ‘Sundrunk’ Effect

Experts point to a dangerous cocktail of hormonal surges, lowered inhibitions and “heatwave hedonism” – the tendency for Brits to collectively enter a holiday mindset the moment the sun comes out, even if they’re not going anywhere.

“We call it ‘sundrunk’,” says Leoni. “You’re sitting in the back garden with a glass of rosé and suddenly you feel like a completely different person. The rules feel more flexible. The consequences feel further away. And with three days stretching ahead of you, there’s suddenly plenty of time to act on it.”

Why Bank Holidays Are Already Peak Season for Affairs

The site’s own data shows that Bank Holiday weekends already represent one of the biggest sign-up periods of the year in their own right – with new registrations consistently up year-on-year over long weekends. The enforced togetherness of a three-day weekend at home has a way of clarifying things for people in unhappy or unfulfilling marriages. Add 30°C heat to that equation, and the site is expecting a record-breaking weekend.

Further Reading

Paris Fury voted UK’s “Sexiest Woman” in 2026’s surprise-filled poll

* Paris Fury tops the annual “UK’s Sexiest Woman” poll in a result nobody saw coming.
* Maya Jama, Kate Garraway, Lily Allen and Cat Deeley join her in the Top 5, alongside reality TV favourites and returning faces.
* 2,000 men rated 50 of the UK’s most famous and culturally relevant women on sex appeal.
* Poll conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.

Paris Fury Takes the Crown

Mother-of-seven, Netflix star and boxing’s most famous WAG, Paris Fury has been crowned the UK’s sexiest woman, topping IllicitEncounters’ annual Sexiest Woman poll in one of its most unexpected results yet.

2,000 male members were asked to rate 50 of the most talked-about women in British public life – from TV favourites and pop stars to reality icons – on a scale of 1 to 10 based on their sex appeal.

Paris Fury’s straight-to-the-top debut comes on the back of a year in which she has been impossible to ignore. With At Home With The Furys back on Netflix, she has captured the public imagination like never before. She pips Maya Jama to 2nd place – up from 6th), while Kate Garraway (new entry), Lily Allen (4th – down from 2nd place) and Cat Deeley (holding 5th place for a second year) round off the Top 5.

Reality TV Royalty Rules the Rest of the Top 10

Dani Dyer storms in at 6th – no doubt capturing the hearts of men with the success of Sky’s ‘The Dyers’ Caravan Park’ – while Molly-Mae Hague enters at 7th. Stacey Solomon slips slightly from last year’s 3rd but remains a firm fixture at 8th, while Claudia Winkleman’s trademark fringe and effortless cool earn her a well-deserved 9th, and Carol Vorderman holds firm in 10th place for a second year.

Fearne Cotton made a quietly impressive showing at 12th, while Susanna Reid landed at 15th. Last year’s champion Amanda Holden drops to 17th, while Princess Kate finds herself in the bottom half of the table at 34th.

What IllicitEncounters.com Had to Say

Jessica Leoni, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, said: “Paris Fury is a phenomenon. She’s glamorous, completely unflappable, and utterly real – and our members find that combination absolutely irresistible. 

When Tyson Fury was voted sexiest sportsman by our members back in 2023, we wondered if lightning could strike twice in the same household – and it turns out it absolutely can. The Furys are officially the sexiest family in Britain as far as our members are concerned, and frankly it’s hard to argue.”

UK’s Sexiest Woman 2026 – Top 10

  1. Paris Fury
  2. Maya Jama
  3. Kate Garraway
  4. Lily Allen
  5. Cat Deeley
  6. Dani Dyer
  7. Molly-Mae Hague
  8. Stacey Solomon
  9. Claudia Winkleman
  10. Carol Vorderman

Further Reading:

Piers Morgan crowned UK’s “Sexiest Man” for second year running – as Louis Theroux and Thomas Skinner make shock surge into the Top 3

* Piers Morgan retains his crown in UK’s Sexiest Man 2025 poll.
* Documentary king Louis Theroux climbs into 2nd place in his debut year, while Thomas Skinner makes a shock entry straight into 3rd.
* 2,000 women rate 50 of the most famous and culturally relevant men from across public life on a scale of 1 to 10, based on their sex appeal.
* Poll conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.

Piers Morgan Makes It Back-to-Back

He’s divisive, outspoken, and seemingly unstoppable. Piers Morgan has been crowned the UK’s “Sexiest Man” for the second year running in the annual poll conducted by IllicitEncounters.com – the UK’s leading dating site for married people.

It’s back-to-back victories for the combative broadcaster, who shot to the top of the table last year having languished in 40th place the year before. Morgan joins Jeremy Clarkson as the only men to have won the title more than once – though this year it’s Clarkson who finds himself playing second fiddle, dropping to 4th after his own two-year reign at the summit.

The Surprise of 2026: Theroux and Skinner Storm the Podium

But the real story of 2026 is the men who came from nowhere to shake up the podium entirely.

Louis Theroux – the softly spoken documentary-maker known for his quietly devastating interviewing style and low-key charm – makes his debut in the poll straight into 2nd place. It seems that in 2026, the quiet, curious, deeply intelligent type is very much having a moment.

Even more startling is 3rd place. Thomas Skinner, the boisterous Essex businessman and former Apprentice candidate best known for his market trader energy and unapologetic banter, has made one of the most unlikely entries in the poll’s history. The contrast with Theroux could not be more pronounced – yet here they both are, separated by just fractions of a point.

The annual survey asks 2,000 female IllicitEncounters members to rate 50 of the most famous and culturally relevant men in British public life on a scale of 1 to 10, based on their sex appeal.

Rounding out the Top 5, Jeremy Clarkson holds on at 4th – proof that the tweed-wearing, straight-talking farmer has enduring appeal even if the crown has slipped – while Dermot O’Leary slips slightly to 5th place (down from 4th) and cementing his status as one of the poll’s most consistent performers.

Danny Dyer drops three places to 6th after a strong debut last year, while Ben Shephard holds steady at seventh – his second consecutive Top 10 appearance. Sports presenter Andy Goldstein makes a new entry in 8th place.

Radio and TV personality Chris Evans claims ninth, and comedian Romesh Ranganathan rounds off the Top 10 for the second consecutive year, proving that making women laugh is never a bad strategy. 

A flurry of British sportsmen also ranked highly in the Top 50, with Formula One’s Lando Norris making a strong debut in the poll at 12th place – while his Ferrari rival Lewis Hamilton, who has kept the gossip columns busy with his rumoured romance with Kim Kardashian, landed at 16th, and Rory McIlroy came in at 23rd. 

Harry Styles failed to crack the upper reaches of the table and finished 26rd, while Jonathan Bailey, fresh from another Bridgerton series, could shockingly only manage 30th. Idris Elba slipped further down the rankings than many might expect coming 36th.

Expert Comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, said: “Piers doing it back-to-back is remarkable – but in some ways it makes perfect sense. He’s the same man he always was: loud, uncompromising, and absolutely certain he’s right. Clearly that’s a formula that works.

“But the real talking point is Louis Theroux and Thomas Skinner finishing second and third. They could not be more different – one is a softly-spoken intellectual who lets silence do the heavy lifting, the other is one of the most exuberant personalities on British television. What they have in common is that they are both completely, authentically themselves. And that, more than anything, seems to be what women find irresistible in 2026.

“Jeremy Clarkson dropping to fourth will sting a little – he’s used to winning – but a podium finish is still quite the legacy for a man in a tweed jacket.”

Results

UK’s Sexiest Man 2026 Top 10

  1. Piers Morgan
  2. Louis Theroux
  3. Thomas Skinner
  4. Jeremy Clarkson
  5. Dermot O’Leary
  6. Danny Dyer
  7. Ben Shephard
  8. Andy Goldstein
  9. Chris Evans
  10. Romesh Ranganathan

Further Reading

Britain’s mid-life cheating crisis is now female: women aged 40–49 joining affairs site 3x faster than men

The key findings

* Women aged 40–49 are now the fastest-growing demographic joining IllicitEncounters.com
* 67% say turning 40 changed how they felt about their marriage.
* 59% say they felt “invisible” at home before joining the site and a whopping 78% say they have absolutely no regrets about having an affair.

Forget the stereotype of the mid-life man buying a sports car and chasing younger women.

It’s actually women in their forties who are shaking up their love lives – with a surge in them joining the UK’s biggest extramarital dating site.

New data from IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading dating site for married people, reveals that women aged 40–49 are now the fastest-growing demographic signing up to the platform.

Site figures show female membership in the 40–49 bracket has grown by 21% over the past year, outpacing every other age group on the site. By comparison, sign-ups among women aged 30–39 increased by 12%, while those aged 50–59 rose by 8%. Younger women aged 20–29 showed only a modest 5% increase, and the 60+ category remained largely unchanged, rising 3%.

Growth amongst men, on the other hand, has been slower. Male membership rose by just 7% among 40–49 year olds and 4% among men aged 50–59, suggesting that it’s women – particularly those entering midlife – who are driving the platform’s fastest expansion.

And according to a poll of 1,500 female members in that age group, hitting the big 4-0 is often the moment everything changes. A huge 67% say turning 40 made them reassess their marriage, with many admitting they suddenly realised their relationship had quietly slipped into autopilot.

For many, the biggest feeling wasn’t anger or resentment – it was simply being invisible. Almost 6 in 10 women (59%) said they felt overlooked by their partner before joining the site. Not necessarily unhappy, but no longer feeling attractive, desired or even properly noticed.

Claire*, 48, says the realisation hit her out of nowhere. “One day I realised I’d become everyone’s organiser – the kids, the house, the schedules – but nobody was really looking at me anymore,” she says. “I felt like I’d disappeared somewhere along the way.”

Sarah*, 45, says the routine of family life slowly swallowed her identity. “I couldn’t remember the last time someone looked at me like a woman instead of just a mum,” she says. “That’s when I realised something had to change.”

For many women, the affair wasn’t even about leaving their marriage. Instead it was about getting a part of themselves back. Nearly 1 in 3 (31%) said their affair helped them rediscover an identity they felt had been lost to years of motherhood and domestic life.

And despite the taboo around cheating, the overwhelming majority say they wouldn’t take it back. A striking 78% say they have absolutely no regrets about stepping outside their marriage.

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, says the findings show how dramatically attitudes are shifting. “Women in their 40s are reaching a stage where life finally slows down a little and they start asking big questions about their happiness,” she says.

“For years they’ve focused on everyone else – their children, their partner, their career. When they finally stop and look at their own lives, many realise they’ve quietly disappeared from the centre of it.” 

She adds: “The old stereotype was that men had mid-life crises. What we’re seeing now is something very different – women deciding they want to feel seen, desired and alive again.”

* Names have been changed

Further Reading

Kim Kardashian & Lewis Hamilton go Instagram-official – and relationship experts say the “new rush” may not last

The key findings

* Kim Kardashian and Lewis Hamilton finally confirm their relationship with an Instagram reveal.

* The pairing follows a familiar pattern among high‑profile, high‑achieving individuals whose past relationships struggled under pressure.

* Relationship expert at IllicitEncounters.com, Jessica Leoni explains why the “new rush” of a power‑couple romance is so intoxicating – and why it often doesn’t last.

Kim Kardashian and Lewis Hamilton have finally gone Instagram‑official, after months of speculation linking the reality star and the Formula One champion.

Hamilton posted a video on Instagram featuring Kim in the passenger seat – the first time either has publicly acknowledged the relationship. The pair first fuelled rumours at Super Bowl LX in February, were spotted hand‑in‑hand in Tokyo in March, and sources close to the couple now claim they’re “in love.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

But according to Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com, the pairing follows a familiar pattern among high‑achieving, high‑profile individuals whose past relationships have struggled under the weight of ambition, fame and relentless schedules.

Commenting on the now Instagram-official couple, she said, “Kim and Lewis are both used to being the most powerful person in the room – and that’s exactly what makes the early rush of a relationship like this so intoxicating. The thrill of the new is unbelievably addictive, especially for people whose lives are built around pressure, performance and public scrutiny.

But that same intensity is often what causes these relationships to crack. When both partners lead, neither is wired to compromise. And that’s when people start seeking emotional intimacy somewhere the power dynamic feels different.

For now, they’re in the sweet spot – the high, the excitement, the escape. But the real story will be what happens when the rush settles and real life returns. That’s where the people left behind often feel the impact most.”

Further Reading

For more on this topic, explore affair dating on Illicit Encounters.

Brainy Brits are the most likely to have an affair – but which degree comes out on top?

The key findings

* 81% of people who cheat have a university degree
* Law graduates top the list of degree holders most likely to stray
* Psychology, Business and Computer Science graduates also feature heavily
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

Britain’s most educated are also among the most unfaithful, with new research revealing that university graduates are significantly more likely to stray – and those with law degrees are leading the pack.

A new study by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading married dating site, involving 3,500 members has found that a striking 81% of people who cheat hold a university degree.

When asked what subject they studied, law graduates emerged as the most likely to have an affair, accounting for 19% of degree-holding cheats – putting their finely honed skills of persuasion and loophole-finding to rather creative use outside the courtroom. Business graduates follow at 17%, with Psychology graduates in third at 15%.

Computer Science graduates account for 13%, no doubt relying on their tech savvy to ensure there’s no digital evidence left behind, while Marketing and Media Studies alumni clock in at 11%.

One member of the married dating site, a solicitor from Birmingham in her late thirties, says the findings don’t surprise her at all. “Lawyers are trained to compartmentalise,” she says. “You learn very early on to keep different parts of your life completely separate. It’s practically a professional requirement – it just turns out it’s quite a useful skill in your personal life too.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com, says the pattern reflects the pressures that often accompany high-achieving careers. “Graduates tend to be ambitious, driven and intellectually restless – and those same qualities that make them successful professionally can make it very difficult to switch off that hunger at home. They want stimulation in every area of their lives, and if they’re not getting it in their marriage, they’ll find it elsewhere.”

She adds: “The law graduate finding is particularly fitting. If anyone knows how to build a watertight case – and cover their tracks – it’s a barrister.”

Results

Law – 19%
Business – 17%
Psychology – 15%
Computer Science – 13%
Marketing / Media Studies – 11%
Management Studies – 8%
Engineering – 6%
Economics – 5%
English Literature – 4%
Languages – 3%
Fine Art – 2%

Further Reading

For more on this topic, explore married dating on Illicit Encounters.

Brits admit secretly checking their partner’s phone at least once a week – and many don’t think it’s wrong

The key findings

* More than half of Brits admit snooping on their partner’s phone without permission
* Over a quarter say they check their partner’s device at least once a week
* Women are significantly more likely to snoop than men
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

Smartphones may hold the secrets of our daily lives – but for many couples, they’ve also become a source of temptation.

A new poll of 2,500 people conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, has revealed that 52% of Brits admit they have secretly checked their partner’s phone without permission.

And for many, it’s not just a one-off act of curiosity. Among those who confessed to snooping, 27% admitted they check their partner’s phone at least once a week, suggesting that secret surveillance has become a regular habit in some relationships.

When asked how often they had secretly checked their partner’s phone, 12% admitted doing so every day, while 27% said they snoop at least once a week. A further 19% said they check around once a month, while 42% insisted they had only done it once or twice out of curiosity.

Despite the obvious privacy implications, many respondents didn’t feel particularly guilty about their behaviour. In fact, 34% of those who admitted snooping said they didn’t consider secretly checking their partner’s phone to be “that bad.”

For some, however, the habit has led to uncomfortable discoveries. 27% of those who checked their partner’s device said they found something upsetting, whether that was suspicious messages, conversations they felt crossed a line, or evidence of behaviour their partner had previously denied.

The research also revealed a clear gender divide when it comes to phone snooping. Women were more likely to admit checking their partner’s phone, with 58% confessing to doing so compared to 46% of men.

One woman who took part in the survey, a 35-year-old sales manager from Manchester who asked to remain anonymous, said curiosity initially drove her to look through her partner’s phone.

“It started as a gut feeling more than anything,” she says. “He’d started turning his phone face down on the table and taking it with him everywhere, even just to make a cup of tea. I told myself I was being paranoid, but the thought wouldn’t leave my head.”

Eventually, she decided to take a look while he was asleep. “I hated the idea of snooping, but at the same time I felt like I needed reassurance,” she says. “Once you’ve had that suspicion planted in your mind, it’s really hard to ignore it.”

What she found wasn’t outright evidence of cheating, but it was enough to shake her trust. “There were messages with another woman that felt a bit too friendly for my liking,” she says. “Nothing explicit, but lots of late-night chats and inside jokes. It made me feel like there was something emotional going on that I didn’t know about.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com, says the findings highlight how smartphones have become a major issue for modern relationships. “Phones contain so much of our personal lives now – messages, social media conversations, photos and browsing history,” she explains. “For someone who already feels insecure in their relationship, the temptation to look can be overwhelming.”

However, she warns that snooping can often create more problems than it solves. “Checking a partner’s phone might provide temporary reassurance, but it can also damage trust if the behaviour becomes habitual,” she says. “In many cases, it reflects deeper issues in the relationship, such as insecurity, poor communication or a lack of transparency.”

Leoni adds that once someone begins regularly checking their partner’s phone, it can quickly become a cycle that’s difficult to break. “Suspicion often feeds itself,” she says. “The more someone looks for evidence of wrongdoing, the more likely they are to interpret normal behaviour as something suspicious. Healthy relationships depend on trust – and that’s very difficult to maintain if one partner feels constantly monitored.”

Results

Have you ever secretly checked your partner’s phone without their permission?
Yes – 52% (58% women, 46% men)
No – 48% (42% women, 54% men)

How often do you check your partner’s phone? (Of those who admitted to checking without permission)
Every day – 12%
At least once a week – 27%
At least once a month – 19%
At least once a year – 42%

Further Reading

For more on this topic, explore discreet dating on Illicit Encounters.

26% of affairs start at the school gate, new data reveals

The key findings

* More than a quarter of affairs begin through school connections, new research shows
* Parents of children in Years 3 and 4 are most at risk, according to the data
* PTA meetings, sports days and class WhatsApp groups are the most common affair flashpoints
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

It’s the place you drop off your kids every morning. But according to new research, the school gate is also one of Britain’s most fertile grounds for extramarital affairs.

A poll of 2,200 parents by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading married dating site, has revealed that 26% of affairs begin through school connections – making it one of the most common places a marriage starts to unravel.

And the danger zone? Parents of children in Years 3 and 4 are the most likely to stray, accounting for 21% of school-gate affairs. Years 1 and 2 parents follow closely at 19%, with Years 5 and 6 at 18%. Reception parents account for 16%, secondary school parents for 15%, and sixth form parents make up the remaining 11%.

As for where these connections are made, PTA meetings top the list at 31%, followed by class WhatsApp groups at 27% – proving that the group chat intended for reading lists and bake sale reminders could be doing more harm than good in relationships.

Sports days accounted for 19% of initial encounters, while the daily school pick-up and drop-off itself is responsible for 13%. School social events such as discos, fairs and fundraisers account for the remaining 7%.

Perhaps most striking of all is the speed at which these connections escalate. On average, it takes just 4.7 months from first meeting to full-blown affair – suggesting that regular contact, shared parenting experiences, and underlying marital dissatisfaction make for a potent combination.

One woman who took part in the poll, a mother of two from the South East, says her affair began ​​innocently in a Whatsapp group, “We were both in the Year 3 group, and he messaged me privately to ask if my son had brought home the wrong jumper. We started joking about how stressful the homework was, and within a month, those jokes turned into late-night chats.

The school run became the highlight of my day. We’d catch each other’s eye across the playground – it felt like we had this huge secret in plain sight. It’s the perfect cover, your spouse never suspects you’re cheating when you say you’re just staying late for a PTA meeting.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com, says the findings are unsurprising. “The school gate is a goldmine for connection – you see the same people every single day, you have an instant shared bond in your children, and you’re often at a stage of life where your marriage has settled into routine. Add a flirty WhatsApp group into the mix and it’s a recipe for something more.”

Leoni says the research highlights how everyday routines can unexpectedly create opportunities for relationships to form. “Affairs rarely begin in dramatic circumstances,” she says. “More often they start with ordinary conversations that slowly become more personal over time.”

Results

At what point in your children’s school life did your affair start?

Reception – 16%
Years 1 to 2 – 19%
Years 3 to 4 – 21%
Years 5 to 6 – 18%
Secondary school – 15%
Sixth Form/College – 11%

How did the affair begin?

PTA meetings – 31%
Class WhatsApp groups – 27%
Sports day – 19%
School pick-up/drop-off – 13%
School social events – 7%
Other – 3%

Further Reading

For more on this topic, explore affair dating on Illicit Encounters.

“He preferred me bigger”: Wife says weight loss jab destroyed her marriage and forced her to stray

The key findings

* 44% of women say losing weight boosted their confidence – but many say it damaged their relationship.
* Over a third report their partner became less affectionate after they slimmed down.
* One woman, 42, says her three‑stone “glow up” left her husband distant – and pushed her towards an affair.
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.

Weight loss is supposed to transform your life for the better. But, for one woman, shedding three stone didn’t just change her body – it changed her marriage.

A new poll conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, involving 2,000 women has revealed that while slimming down often boosts confidence, it can also create unexpected tension at home – with 52% saying changes in their weight had a negative impact on their relationship.

According to the data, 44% of women said their confidence increased after losing weight. But the emotional ripple effects weren’t always positive.

More than a third (37%) said their partner became less affectionate after their weight loss, while 34% noticed increased jealousy following their “glow up”.

Meanwhile, 29% of women who slimmed down felt their partner seemed “intimidated” by their new confidence.

For one 42-year-old mother-of-two, who asked to remain anonymous, the change was stark. After losing three stone using Mounjaro, she says she has never felt better in herself – but her husband’s reaction left her blindsided.

“I’ve never felt more attractive in my life,” she says. “For years I struggled with my weight. I didn’t feel confident getting dressed up or initiating intimacy. Losing the weight made me feel like me again.”

But instead of reigniting the spark at home, she says the dynamic shifted. “He used to grab me constantly. Now he barely looks,” she explains. “At first I thought I was imagining it. But the more confident I became, the more distant he seemed.”

She says her husband even admitted he preferred her before the weight loss. “He says he ‘misses my curves’, but I think he misses feeling more secure. When I was bigger, I don’t think he ever worried about other men noticing me.”

As her confidence grew, she began receiving more attention – something she says her husband struggled with. “There were little comments. If I dressed up, he’d ask who I was trying to impress. If I went out with friends, he’d act cold afterwards.”

Eventually, she says the emotional distance pushed her elsewhere.“I thought losing weight would improve everything. I didn’t expect it to threaten my marriage,” she admits. “So, when my husband didn’t appreciate the way I’d become, I decided perhaps it was time to find someone who did – and I’ve been having an affair for the past two months as a result.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Sex and relationship expert at IllicitEncounters.com, Jessica Leoni, says the findings reflect a power shift that can occur when one partner undergoes a visible transformation. “Weight loss can dramatically alter relationship dynamics,” she explains. “If one partner’s confidence increases significantly, it can unsettle the balance that existed before.”

She adds that insecurity can manifest in subtle but damaging ways. “For some partners, especially if the relationship was built around a certain dynamic, a physical ‘glow up’ can trigger feelings of inadequacy or fear of abandonment. Instead of celebrating the change, they may withdraw or become jealous.”

Leoni says it’s not uncommon for increased external attention to amplify tensions. “When one partner starts receiving more validation from outside the relationship, it can highlight cracks that were already there,” she says. “If communication isn’t strong, resentment can build quickly.”

Further Reading

For more on this topic, explore married dating on Illicit Encounters.