The key findings
* More than half of Brits admit snooping on their partner’s phone without permission
* Over a quarter say they check their partner’s device at least once a week
* Women are significantly more likely to snoop than men
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site
Smartphones may hold the secrets of our daily lives – but for many couples, they’ve also become a source of temptation.
A new poll of 2,500 people conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, has revealed that 52% of Brits admit they have secretly checked their partner’s phone without permission.
And for many, it’s not just a one-off act of curiosity. Among those who confessed to snooping, 27% admitted they check their partner’s phone at least once a week, suggesting that secret surveillance has become a regular habit in some relationships.
When asked how often they had secretly checked their partner’s phone, 12% admitted doing so every day, while 27% said they snoop at least once a week. A further 19% said they check around once a month, while 42% insisted they had only done it once or twice out of curiosity.
Despite the obvious privacy implications, many respondents didn’t feel particularly guilty about their behaviour. In fact, 34% of those who admitted snooping said they didn’t consider secretly checking their partner’s phone to be “that bad.”
For some, however, the habit has led to uncomfortable discoveries. 27% of those who checked their partner’s device said they found something upsetting, whether that was suspicious messages, conversations they felt crossed a line, or evidence of behaviour their partner had previously denied.
The research also revealed a clear gender divide when it comes to phone snooping. Women were more likely to admit checking their partner’s phone, with 58% confessing to doing so compared to 46% of men.
One woman who took part in the survey, a 35-year-old sales manager from Manchester who asked to remain anonymous, said curiosity initially drove her to look through her partner’s phone.
“It started as a gut feeling more than anything,” she says. “He’d started turning his phone face down on the table and taking it with him everywhere, even just to make a cup of tea. I told myself I was being paranoid, but the thought wouldn’t leave my head.”
Eventually, she decided to take a look while he was asleep. “I hated the idea of snooping, but at the same time I felt like I needed reassurance,” she says. “Once you’ve had that suspicion planted in your mind, it’s really hard to ignore it.”
What she found wasn’t outright evidence of cheating, but it was enough to shake her trust. “There were messages with another woman that felt a bit too friendly for my liking,” she says. “Nothing explicit, but lots of late-night chats and inside jokes. It made me feel like there was something emotional going on that I didn’t know about.”
Expert comment from Jessica Leoni
Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com, says the findings highlight how smartphones have become a major issue for modern relationships. “Phones contain so much of our personal lives now – messages, social media conversations, photos and browsing history,” she explains. “For someone who already feels insecure in their relationship, the temptation to look can be overwhelming.”
However, she warns that snooping can often create more problems than it solves. “Checking a partner’s phone might provide temporary reassurance, but it can also damage trust if the behaviour becomes habitual,” she says. “In many cases, it reflects deeper issues in the relationship, such as insecurity, poor communication or a lack of transparency.”
Leoni adds that once someone begins regularly checking their partner’s phone, it can quickly become a cycle that’s difficult to break. “Suspicion often feeds itself,” she says. “The more someone looks for evidence of wrongdoing, the more likely they are to interpret normal behaviour as something suspicious. Healthy relationships depend on trust – and that’s very difficult to maintain if one partner feels constantly monitored.”
Results
Have you ever secretly checked your partner’s phone without their permission?
Yes – 52% (58% women, 46% men)
No – 48% (42% women, 54% men)
How often do you check your partner’s phone? (Of those who admitted to checking without permission)
Every day – 12%
At least once a week – 27%
At least once a month – 19%
At least once a year – 42%
Further Reading
For more on this topic, explore discreet dating on Illicit Encounters.
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