Author: Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni is a sex and relationships expert and the lead spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, the UK's largest and longest-running extramarital dating site with more than one million members. She comments regularly in the national press on infidelity, affairs, and the shifting landscape of modern marriage, drawing on original research from the site's member surveys. For interview requests, expert quotes and data on request, journalists can contact [email protected].

Beware of ‘Cheat Leap’: Love Rats Plan to Have Affairs on the 29th February

The key findings

* A shocking proposal was made in an online forum, suggesting the 29th February should be an opportunity for people to cheat on their partners without consequences.

* Rather than being met with disdain, the initial post received a wave of positive responses, causing concern for married people.

* Relationship expert suggests cheating on the 29th February could actually be beneficial for relationships, as 72% of married people said they were happier in their marriage since they started having an affair.

* The post on the IllicitEncounters.com ‘Flirt Forum’ is just one of many unconventional topics discussed.

In the world of love and romance, traditions have often leaned towards the conventional, with men taking the lead in popping the question. However, every four years, the tables turn and women can take the reins on the 29th February.

But the leap year tradition sparked a controversial discussion on extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com’s ‘Flirt Forum’. 

The debate began when a user posted a suggestion that would normally raise eyebrows, reading: “Since it’s a leap year, women can propose on the 29th February. And that got me thinking… for people who are already married or engaged, we should celebrate ‘Cheat Leap’, where cheating in a leap year doesn’t count! Sounds like a good enough excuse to play away this year… Or maybe the 29th should be ‘Come On To Someone Else’s Spouse Day’. What do we reckon?”

The shocking suggestion, rather than being met with disgust, was actually applauded by people who responded. One user reacted, “Good lord, genius, a national f**k another partner day.”

Another added, “Sounds perfect I like that idea…”, whilst someone declared they would “give it a try on the 29th, who knows it could be worth a leap of faith for one time”.

One user seemed to welcome the idea, stating “I’m thinking that sex at home is probably once every leap year….I’m looking for my temperature to be risen a lot more frequently than that.”

Although it’s a concerning topic that might spark fears for people in relationships, it turns out, having an affair might not be such a bad thing after all.

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, commented on the discussion, saying, “Our Flirt Forum is full of some rather unexpected conversations, with topics you really won’t find anywhere else.

It’s interesting to see that people who have already gone through the proposal process might end up feeling a little left out when leap years come around.

However, back in November 2023, a study we conducted showed that 72% of married people said they were happier in their marriage since they started having an affair – which actually became a topic of discussion on Good Morning Britain. 

So, actually, having an affair on the 29th February, or during a leap year might not be such a bad thing for your marriage after all.”

72% of men regret getting married to their partner, study reveals

The key findings

* Men are more likely to regret getting married to their partner (72%), compared to women (54%).

* Marital remorse is most likely to hit in the third year of marriage – the majority of those who regret getting married (38%) believe they married the wrong person, and would have been better off staying with an ex. 

* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.

The moment you say ‘I do’ is usually seen by couples as one of the highlights of a relationship – a milestone you’ll never forget. 

But it turns out that the initial wedding bliss doesn’t last long before people start wondering if they made the right decision, especially if you’re a man.

According to research conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, who surveyed 1,800 users of the extramarital dating site, nearly three quarters of men (72%) and over half of women (54%) have regrets about tying the knot.

So, how long after a wedding can you expect marital remorse to kick in? Shockingly, one in ten people questioned if they made the right decision within the first year of marriage. But for the majority, you can expect the regret to start taking its toll three years after the initial ‘I do’.

Incredibly, people who regret getting married to their partner aren’t actually against the idea of tying the knot – they just chose the wrong person to do it with. In fact, 38% say they should have stayed together with an ex.

The dull routine of married life was the next big reason people have second thoughts about getting married, with 1 in 3 people declaring they hate the monotony of matrimony. 

No longer being physically attracted to their partner led to 1 in 5 people declaring they wish they hadn’t gone ahead with getting married in the first place.

A member of the extramarital dating site who took part in the survey, Samuel, said, “It was about two and half years into my marriage that I started regretting my decision to walk down the aisle – I’d never been a massive fan of the idea, but I knew that’s what my wife expected of me, so I just popped the question to make her happy.

The regret really started to sink in when I came across my ex’s social media profile. I started questioning why I’d ever broken up with her – she was kind, stunning, interesting, funny… but at the time I just wasn’t ready for anything serious, so we parted ways.

I couldn’t go on thinking about what might have been, so I bit the bullet and contacted her. It soon escalated into a steamy meet-up, and although it was a one-time thing, it definitely stirred something inside me because life’s just far too short to live in regret.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Sex and relationships expert for IllicitEncounters.com, Jessica Leoni, commented, “As relationships evolve, the initial romanticised vision may clash with the practicalities of everyday life, triggering a sense of disappointment.

The truth is, people’s expectations and the reality of marriage are usually misaligned – you might be under the impression that saying ‘I do’ will lead to a life of rainbows and butterflies, but marriages are hard work!

Marital remorse can be really risky when it hits, especially if you find yourself thinking about past relationships. People may start questioning whether the grass is greener on the other side, and ultimately that could be the push that sees them playing away.”

Red Tuesday: You’re more likely to be dumped today than any other time of the year, expert warns

The key findings

* The Tuesday before Valentine’s Day is the most popular time for people to get dumped.
* 37% of people revealed they’ve dumped their partner in the week leading up to Valentine’s Day.
* Of those, 52% admitted to ditching their partner on the Tuesday before Valentine’s Day, also known as ‘Red Tuesday’.
* The go-to method for breaking up is via WhatsApp messages (33%), followed by face-to-face dumping (21%) and breaking the news on a phone call (17%).
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it’s usually a time filled with romance and anticipation for couples. You might be expecting a fancy gift or dinner at a snazzy restaurant, but actually, new research reveals that you could fall victim to ‘Red Tuesday’ instead.

Today is the day that people are most likely to be dumped. Yes, really. 

According to a survey by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, the Tuesday before Valentine’s Day, known as ‘Red Tuesday’, could see your relationship crashing down just before the most romantic day of the year.

The website polled 1,500 of its members, and incredibly, 37% admitted to breaking up with their partner in the run up to Valentine’s Day.

Of those, a whopping 52% said they dumped their other half on ‘Red Tuesday’.

45% revealed that they dumped their partner in the week leading up to the most romantic day of the year, and 5% had the guts to end their relationship on Valentine’s Day itself!

So, what’s the most popular method when it comes to throwing in the towel? 33% of people went down the WhatsApp message route, whilst 21% mustered up the courage to break the bad news face-to-face. 8% didn’t even bother letting their partner know the relationship was over, and simply ghosted them – ouch!

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert and spokesperson at IllicitEncounters.com, commented on the ‘Red Tuesday’ phenomenon, saying, “It’s a bit of a “V-Day pressure cooker” situation. As we get closer to the day of romance and roses, there’s this expectation to have this epic, Instagram-worthy love story. Suddenly, people find themselves questioning if their current relationship is measuring up to the grand gestures they see all over social media.

And let’s not forget the gift-giving stress that comes with celebrating Valentine’s Day. If one person is expecting a romantic masterpiece and ends up with a last-minute box of chocolates, it can lead to some serious disappointment.”

Leoni even suggested that people don’t give into the hype of Valentine’s Day, saying “I actually recommend that couples AVOID celebrating Valentine’s Day if you really want your love to thrive. Don’t give in to the commercialisation of the day, because you’re just adding extra strain to relationships, especially if they’re already on unsteady ground.”

Results
Ways people have dumped their partner around Valentine’s Day

WhatsApp message 33%
Face to face 21%
Phone call 17%
Social media 14%
Ghosting 8%
Through a friend 5%
Other 2%

Is cheating in your DNA? Study finds you’re more likely to be unfaithful if your parents had an affair

The key findings

* 62% of adulterous men and 77% of unfaithful women say that their parents had affairs in the past, suggesting cheating can run in the family.

* 71% of love rats said their mum and dad’s relationship survived infidelity, giving them the impression that adultery doesn’t have to lead to the breakdown of a marriage.

* A relationship expert has warned that a person’s upbringing can shape their perspective surrounding infidelity, with 41% of cheaters believing affairs are more acceptable because they witnessed the same behaviour from their parents.

* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site
 

Unfaithful partners are never short of excuses when it comes to why they choose to walk down the path of infidelity. But, it turns out there’s another reason for cheating they can add to the list: if their parents cheated, they’re more likely to do it too.

A recent survey by extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com involving 600 male and 600 female members, suggests that if you want to know if your partner is going to cheat on you, just take a look at their parents’ relationship.

62% of unfaithful men and 77% of cheating women surveyed said their parents had an affair in the past. 

Of those who declared they had adulterous parents, incredibly 71% said their mum and dad’s relationship survived the infidelity. So, if your parents can overcome cheating, the consequences might not be so bad, right? 

That appears to be the mindset of love rats, as a shocking 4 in 10 of those who took part in the survey said their parents’ infidelity made them feel it’s more acceptable to cheat on their own partners. 

Maria from Birmingham, who took part in the survey, said, “My dad cheated on my mum repeatedly when I was younger – but she always found a way of moving past it and forgiving him.

Seeing how my parents overcame infidelity definitely changed the way I look at cheating. We’re only human, and we all make mistakes but it’s all about how you react. When there’s children involved it’s also much easier to sweep things under the rug and to try to just act like nothing’s happened for the benefit of the family.

I suppose seeing my mum’s ability to just keep going almost gave me the green light to cheat too, because it gave me the impression that there’s no real consequences when it comes to infidelity.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

So, can cheating parents really reveal if you’re more likely to follow in their footsteps when it comes to infidelity? According to Jessica Leoni, spokesperson and relationship expert at  IllicitEncounters.com, “Growing up in an environment where being unfaithful is more common really can shape a person’s perception of fidelity and commitment, and that’s clear from these statistics.

It’s so important to recognise that our early experiences serve as a template for understanding what is considered acceptable or normal in relationships. 

If people witness infidelity within their family unit, it can absolutely contribute to the normalisation of such behaviour, potentially influencing their own attitudes towards commitment. It’s a cycle that risks repeating itself from generation to generation.”

8th January is the day people are most likely to start having an affair

The key findings

* Dubbed Blue Monday for relationships, the 8th January is the day that people turn to infidelity as a result of cracks revealed during the festive period.
* Registrations on married dating site IllicitEncounters.com are forecast to be up 36% by the end of this week, forcing the company to employ extra staff to deal with the influx of new users.
* 71% of people say that getting a divorce or ending an unhappy relationship is a top priority in 2024, along with having more sex (56%).
* Survey conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.

As the festive glitter settles and we embrace the start of 2024, it’s a time for setting goals with New Year’s resolutions – and having an affair is apparently high on the list for many people.

Today has officially been declared the moment when people are most likely to have an affair. The 8th January, dubbed Blue Monday for relationships, shares the spotlight with Divorce Day which lands on the first working Monday of the year. 

During the Christmas and New Year festivities, families are forced to spend more time together than any other period – a dangerous situation for already rocky relationships. The result: people are now considering whether the grass is greener outside of their marriage.

Extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com has revealed that registrations are forecast to be up 36% by the end of this week. In fact, there’s been such a demand that the website has reportedly had to employ more staff to deal with the uptick in new members.

To coincide with Blue Monday, the website polled 750 of people who registered within the last week, asking what their New Year’s resolutions for 2024 are, and it turns out that people aren’t just planning on eating well and exercising more this year. 

Surprisingly, the top resolution is getting a divorce or ending an unhappy relationship, with 71% declaring enough is enough. Whilst for more than half (56%) of those polled, the top priority for 2024 is to have more sex.

One member who joined the extramarital dating site this week, Juliette from Gloucester said, “This year, I’m putting ME first – the ultimate act of self-care! I’ve been with my husband for seven years, but I feel increasingly underappreciated and unhappy within our relationship. Nothing highlights that more than Christmas time, when I end up doing all the prep and he just sits on the sofa. I just feel like we’ve got to the point where we’d rather spend more time apart than together. 

So, my plan for 2024 is to grab the bull by the horns and make regaining my freedom a top priority by finally getting a divorce.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, a spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com and dating expert commented, “The festive period is one of the biggest annual hurdles couples have to face. With offices closed and the kids at home, the period from Christmas to New Year forces families to spend an intense amount of time together. As a result, it can shine a light on any relationship cracks, intensifying feelings of isolation or unfulfillment within a marriage.

Combine that with the fact that the start of a new year often prompts people to reflect on their lives, reassess their happiness, and contemplate change. For some, this introspection may lead to the realisation that their current relationships aren’t up to scratch.

It’s the perfect recipe for starting an affair – a spotlight on a faltering marriage + hopes for change and increased happiness = seeking new connections, new adventures and making potentially life-changing decisions. Is it any wonder divorce lawyers and extramarital dating sites are so hugely popular at this time of the year?”

Revealed: The top lie unfaithful wives are telling their husbands this Christmas

The key findings

* 39% of cheating women are using Christmas shopping as an excuse to meet their lovers for a festive fling this month.

* Time-consuming and notoriously hated by men, Christmas shopping is the ideal cover-up for unfaithful wives who are meeting up with their lovers this holiday season.

* Visiting loved ones before Christmas (23%), working overtime (16%) and meeting up with friends (9%) are other festive fibs being told to unsuspecting husbands.

* Survey conducted by the UK’s leading extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com

‘Tis the season to be jolly, right? Well, it turns out that in the midst of all the holiday hoopla, some wives are spinning a web of deception around a rather unexpected festive activity – Christmas shopping.

According to a survey involving 1,000 married women conducted by extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com, instead of shopping for gifts, wives are unwrapping secret liaisons, leaving unsuspecting partners in the dark about the festive fling happening behind the scenes.

39% of the married women surveyed said they use Christmas shopping as an excuse to get out of the house for a secret rendezvous with their lover.

Visiting friends and relatives to drop off Christmas cards and gifts is the second most popular festive fib being told by unfaithful wives (23%), whilst old classics like having to work overtime (16%) and meeting up with friends (9%) are less favoured at this time of year.

One member of IllicitEncounters.com who took part in the survey and is currently using the ‘Christmas shopping’ excuse to mask her infidelity, Christina from Stockport, said “My husband absolutely hates Christmas shopping, so I’ve found it’s the perfect excuse to use around this time of the year. He would do anything to avoid having to wander around the shops looking for gifts for the kids, so ironically he puts all his faith in me when it comes to gifting.

What he doesn’t know is that I’ve actually already done all of my Christmas shopping… I’m just using the time to meet up with my lover who I’ve been seeing for the past 4 months. 

Every time I come back from a ‘shopping trip’, I’ve basically just got empty boxes in shopping bags to make it look like I’ve bought something – he never asks to take a look, and if he ever did I’d just say he can’t peek because it’s a present for him.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, IllicitEncounters.com’s relationship expert explains why so many women are using the usually innocent act of gift-giving as a cover for their infidelity, “If you think about it, Christmas shopping really is the ultimate alibi for women if they’re playing away.

Wandering around the shops takes time, and finding the perfect gift needs careful consideration that can’t be rushed, right? With all those presents that need buying, women will no doubt need to make multiple trips to out-of-town shopping centres, travelling far and wide to find that special something.

Quite simply, there’s potential for spouses to exploit the season’s busy nature and the assumed innocence of holiday preparations. Just make sure you don’t come back empty handed…”

Results

Top lies women are telling their partners to cover up infidelity:
Christmas shopping 39%
Visiting friends and relatives out of town before Christmas 23%
Working overtime 16%
Going out with friends 9%
Going to the gym 6%
Other 7%

Today is ‘Unfaithful Friday’– the biggest day for affairs as adulterers celebrate ‘Cheat-mas’

The key findings

* Friday 1st December is ‘Unfaithful Friday’, the most popular day in the winter for having an affair

* Today is the day married people are most likely to be cheated on during the winter months, dubbed by adulterers as ‘Cheat-mas’

* Extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com reported a 32% increase in activity among members in the leadup to ‘Unfaithful Friday’

* 68% of cheats have made plans to see their mistresses today, with 21% saying they’ll be spending the entire weekend away with their lovers

Ah, Christmas – the most wonderful time of the year… unless, of course, you’re cheating on your partner, in which case you’ll be celebrating ‘Cheat-mas’ instead – the most wonderful time of the year… for adulterers.

This year ‘Unfaithful Friday’ falls on the 1st December, known in the world of infidelity as the last chance for cheats to see their lovers before the chaos of Christmas begins.

Extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com reported a 32% increase in activity among members in the leadup to ‘Cheat-mas’, as they scramble to arrange meets with fellow adulterers for a final fling before returning to their monotonous marriages over the festive period.

In a survey conducted by the UK’s leading married dating site involving 1,000 male members, 68% declared they’ve made plans to meet up with their mistresses on ‘Unfaithful Friday’. 

But it’s not just a one-day celebration for some. In fact, 1 in 5 married men have said they’ve lied to their wives about what they’re up to over the next couple of days, finding an excuse to be away for the entire weekend so they can really make the most of ‘Cheat-mas’.

So, with Christmas just around the corner, what does a cheat gift his wife in the season of giving? Well, 29% of men plan on buying snazzy gadgets for their other half. Though they want to reconsider that, as a recent poll from IllicitEncounters.com found 65% of women said they busted their partner’s affair thanks to technology.

Expert comment

Jon, a member of the married dating site who’ll be celebrating ‘Unfaithful Friday’ this year said, “This is by far my favourite day of the year! In the lead up to Christmas I get dragged around the shops with my wife hunting for gifts for the kids, there are Christmas parties left, right and centre, there’s the school nativity… the list goes on. 

I’ll barely get a second to myself, which makes celebration ten times more exciting. It’s pure bliss – a moment for me to completely let loose with my mistress before all the stress begins.

This year I’ve actually managed to book a weekend away – I told my wife I have to meet a big client in London because it’s the only time they’re free… and she doesn’t suspect a thing.”

Sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com commented, “It’s supposedly the most wonderful time of the year, but Christmas is undoubtedly also one of the busiest and most stressful periods for couples. From attending endless festive get-togethers to the pressures of gift-buying, Christmas can be incredibly overwhelming for some.

And, with family obligations taking centre stage, it’s no surprise that people make the most of Unfaithful Friday and celebrate ‘Cheat-mas’ before the festive frenzy at home.

It’s the last hurrah before all of the chaos begins. So, if your husband’s told you he’s busy tonight or he’s off on a work trip this weekend, you might want to do some detective work to find out what he’s really up to.”
 

Results

Top gifts cheaters are buying for their wives for Christmas:
Tech – 29% 
Beauty products/make up – 21%
Jewellery – 20%
Perfume – 14%
Clothes – 9%
Homeware – 5%
Other 2%

Cheaters are happier in their marriages and having more sex with their spouses, study reveals

The key findings

* 72% of married people say they’re happier in their marriage since starting an affair
* 52% of cheats say they’re having more sex with their other halves than ever before
* 38% of people believe a boost in their mood whilst having an affair has had a positive impact on their sex life at home 
* An increase in self-esteem (26%) and heightened sex drive (22%) when cheating are the other biggest factors that are leading to more action between the sheets for couples
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site
 

More often than not, having an affair is seen in a negative light. However, new research might have you considering the pros, as it turns out playing away not only makes you happier, but you’re more likely to see an improvement in your relationship with your spouse – especially in the bedroom.

IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, polled 1,400 married members to see what effect having an affair has had on their relationship at home. 

Shockingly, 72% of married people say they’re happier in their marriage since starting an affair, and of those, 52% said they’re actually having more sex than ever with their spouses.

When asked why they think there’s been an improvement in their sex life with their partners, 38% of love rats said they’re simply happier as a result of cheating, and it’s that mood boost that’s giving them the horn. 

26% of married people having an affair said that they’re having more sex with their husbands and wives because they’ve got more self-esteem.

22% of love rats believe the thrill of cheating has led to a heightened sex drive, saying that’s why they’re seeing sparks fly in the bedroom with their spouses.

One member who took part in the study, Colin, 37 from Exeter said, “Since starting an affair five months ago, I’ve been having more sex than ever – and not just with my lover. 

I’ve definitely noticed that I’ve become more patient with my wife, more able to let the little things that got on my nerves slide. We’re fighting less too – it’s like having this secret escape has brought over a sense of calm in my life and I’m just happier overall. 

Now, I can actually bear going home to my wife and our sex is miles better…and funnily enough, we’ve been at it more in the past five months than in the past five years. It’s a win-win in my eyes!”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, IllicitEncounters.com’s sex and relationships expert commented, “It might sound strange, but so many people find that their overall satisfaction in their primary relationships improves when having an affair. 

One thing that’s become clear is the impact that personal happiness has on your sex life, especially for those seeking fun outside of their marriage. They get this newfound surge in happiness, whether that comes from the affair itself or from the escape it provides, and that can spill over into the relationship at home. 

Happier people often approach intimacy with a more positive mindset, making them more tolerant, and in some cases, more appreciative of their partners.”

Results

Have you been happier in your existing relationship since having an affair?
Yes -72%
No – 26%
The same – 2%

Do you continue having sex with your husband/wife whilst having an affair?
Yes – 86%
No – 12%
Not sure – 2%

Would you say you have more or less sex with your other half whilst having an affair?
More – 52%
Less – 23%
The same – 25%

1 in 4 cheats have been ratted out after disclosing their secret affairs to confidants

The key findings

* 77% of cheats say they’ve revealed their infidelity to someone they know, hoping to lighten their load.

* Alarmingly, 1 in 4 cheats have been outed by the person they confided in, finding the burden too much to bear.

* Best friends (34%) are the people love rats turn to when coming clean about their shenanigans, whilst talking to strangers online (22%), hairdressers/barbers (8%) and bartenders (4%) are the unlikely people cheaters trust most with their secrets.

* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

A problem shared is a problem halved, right? Wrong – if you’re having an affair. New research has revealed that confiding in the people closest to you about your affair might not be the wisest move if you want to avoid getting caught.

The study conducted by extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com found that 77% of cheats have spilled the beans about their infidelity to someone they know.

Historical research provided by the website shows that in 2018 just 18% of people were betrayed by the person they confided in when it came to revealing their infidelity. However, a recent poll has found a significant increase in backstabbing as now 1 in 4 people get ratted out by the very people they believe they can trust the most, proving that loose lips really do sink ships.

So, who are cheaters most likely to share their darkest affair secrets with?

Best buddies are the top pick (34%), while others prefer to keep it in the family offloading on their siblings (27%).

Surprisingly, 22% of cheats have found themselves disclosing their infidelity to strangers online, with safe spaces like the Illicitencounters.com ‘Flirt Forum’ where love rats can vent, seek advice, and spill the juiciest details without fear of discovery.

If you suspect your partner’s having an affair, you might also want to consider talking to their hairdresser or barber. It turns out 8% of people have revealed details of their affair while going for a trim, making your hair appointments more like therapy sessions, whilst 4% of cheaters have poured their hearts out to bartenders.

Emily from Stoke-on-Trent, a member of IllicitEncounters who took part in the study said, “I’ve known my best friend for much longer than I’ve known my husband – I’d trust her with my life. Talking to her about my affair was one of the hardest but most liberating decisions I’ve ever made. Her support and non-judgmental approach was exactly what I needed, and there’s the extra perk of her now being my alibi when I’m meeting up with my lover.

I know it’s risky letting people know what I’m getting up to behind my husband’s back, but the weight of my secret was becoming too much to bear and I just needed to spill the beans to someone – I can’t tell you how much of a relief it was.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, IllicitEncounters.com’s sex and relationships expert commented, “It’s fascinating to see just how many people turn to people they know when it comes to disclosing secret infidelity, highlighting the human need for emotional support and understanding during times of turmoil in a relationship. 

Close friends often serve as a safe space where individuals can seek advice, gain perspective, and find comfort when grappling with the complex emotions surrounding infidelity. In cases like this, a problem shared really is a problem halved.

Of course, there’s always a risk when it comes to confiding such an immense secret with people you know – make sure they really can be trusted to keep schtum because you could easily see this backfire.”

Results

People cheaters are most likely to confide in:
Best friends – 34%
Siblings – 27%
Strangers online – 22%
Co-workers – 16%
Parents – 11%
Hairdressers/barbers – 8%
Bartenders – 4%
Other – 2%

The cheater’s digital dilemma: 65% of women have busted their partner’s affair using tech

The key findings

* New research reveals 65% of women have caught their partner cheating thanks to technology

* Lock screen phone notifications are the number one way ladies are busting their partner’s affair (24%)

* 38% of women suspicious of their partner’s shenanigans have gifted them gadgets that make it easier to discreetly keep tabs on them

* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site
 

In a world driven by technology and AI, keeping secrets under wraps has become more challenging than ever – especially for those cheating on their partners.

It turns out the pursuit of secret affairs has become a high-stakes game, with an ever-increasing chance of being exposed, and it’s all thanks to tech. 

New research by extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com found women are turning into digital detectives, with 65% saying they busted their partner’s affair by using technology.

38% of women even admitted to gifting their partners gadgets that could help them keep an eye on what they’re getting up to.

The study which involved 1,500 members of the website found that notifications on their partner’s phone were the top way of discovering their partner’s affair (24%) – email, Whatsapp and social media alerts popping up on lock screens are a big give away when it comes to exposing cheats.

Old-school methods like checking browser history (18%), call logs (13%) and emails (9%) are still trusty ways women are discovering their partners are loverats.

However, there are more novel and much more sophisticated ways people are getting caught out these days. Alexa (11%), fitness watches (8%) and Ring doorbells (5%) have also made it on the list of how cheats are being busted by their wives. 

There are even people who go as far as using AI voice cloning (2%) to discover whether partners are being unfaithful.

Jane, 38 from Newcastle, a member of IllicitEncounters, shared her story on the topic saying, “A few months ago I used an AI voice cloning programme because I was suspicious about what my husband was up to – I’d noticed he’d started getting calls quite often from a ‘Jordan’. I’ve been with my husband for nearly 10 years and I’d never seen or heard of any friends with that name, so obviously I thought something shady was going on. 

That’s when I had the idea of cloning my husband’s voice and calling this ‘Jordan’ to find out who they actually were. All I had to do was upload a clip of him talking and then I could create the conversation I wanted using AI. Anyway, I called ‘Jordan’ and it turned out this was a woman my husband was having an affair with. She had absolutely no idea it wasn’t really him she was talking to. 

I actually haven’t told my husband any of this, and now I’ve found myself having a revenge affair to get my own back. And if he finds out… that’s fine because I’ve got an ace up my sleeve if he ever wants to confront me about it.”

Fiona, 37 from Windsor, another member of the extramarital dating site who took part in the study said, “I found out my partner was cheating on me one weekend when I went to visit my mum in Cornwall, and it was all thanks to Alexa. I’d had my suspicions about what he was getting up to, so as soon as I got home I took a peek at the voice history log.

That’s when I found out he’d asked Alexa to play our ‘sexy’ playlist we’d put together – a bit weird because as far as I knew, it was something we’d only listen to when things got steamy between us. I discovered you can actually listen to Alexa recordings, and when he asked to play that specific playlist I heard a woman laugh in the background.

When I brought it up, he unsurprisingly came clean about it straightaway – I mean he couldn’t really deny it, the proof was there!”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Sex and relationships expert for IllicitEncounters.com, Jessica Leoni, commented on the study, “Technology has advanced in ways we could never have imagined over the past few years, and in some cases it’s made it super easy to catch cheaters in the act – though I have to say, it doesn’t appear to be having an effect on the number of people having affairs as the figure continues to rise.

Whether it’s old-school errors like saucy texts left on phones, or more modern slip-ups with location-tracking and AI, people need to be clever about how they’re covering their digital tracks.”

Results

Have you ever caught your partner using technology?
Yes – 65%
No – 35%
 

How have you used technology to discover your partner was cheating?
Phone notifications – 24%
Checking browser history – 18%
Call history – 13%
Alexa – 11%
Checking emails – 9%
Fitness watch – 8%
Find My Phone location tracking – 7%
Ring doorbell – 5%
AI voice cloning – 2%
Other – 3%