Tag: affairs

Is your partner’s lavish Christmas gift a red flag? 1 in 3 cheats use expensive presents to “throw spouses off the scent”

The key findings

* 1 in 3 admit lavish presents are used to “throw spouses off the scent” of their infidelity.
* Cheaters spend up to 38% more on Christmas gifts once an affair begins.
* Experts warn expensive gifts can be a form of festive gaslighting.
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.

Christmas is supposed to be the season of giving – but new research suggests that some gifts may come with strings attached. A poll involving 2,600 members of IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, has revealed that lavish presents are often less about generosity and more about guilt.

According to the survey, people who are having an affair spend up to 38% more on their spouse’s Christmas gift compared to before their infidelity. And while guilt plays a role, the motivation is often more calculated. 

One in three admitted that a key reason for splashing out was to “throw spouses off the scent” – making suspicion seem unreasonable. As one respondent put it: “Why would someone who bought you a £2,000 necklace be cheating?”

This tactic, experts say, amounts to a form of gaslighting. By showering their spouse with extravagant gifts, cheaters create a narrative of devotion that makes any doubts feel irrational. 

This strategy is particularly common at Christmas, when generosity is expected and big-ticket presents can be framed as festive indulgence rather than suspicious overcompensation. In fact, 41% of those who cheated said Christmas was the easiest time of year to disguise guilt spending as romance or tradition.

The survey also revealed the most popular “cover‑up” gifts chosen by cheating spouses this Christmas. For men, the top five presents being given to wives are jewellery (32%), designer handbags (24%), perfume (19%), spa vouchers (15%) and weekend getaways (12%). 

Women, meanwhile, are favouring splashing out on watches (28%), high‑end tech gifts (22%), expensive clothing (18%), aftershave (14%) and concert tickets (11%). 

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

IllicitEncounters.com’s sex and relationships expert, Jessica Leoni, says the findings reveal a darker side to festive generosity. “Lavish Christmas gifts can be a form of emotional misdirection,” she explains. “For some cheaters, it’s not just about easing guilt – it’s about control. An expensive present creates a psychological shield, making the faithful partner doubt their own instincts and feel unreasonable for questioning suspicious behaviour.”

Leoni adds that Christmas is the perfect backdrop for this tactic. “The festive period comes with huge expectations around romance, gratitude and ‘making an effort’. A big, show-stopping gift ticks all the boxes of what a ‘good partner’ should do at Christmas, even if their behaviour the rest of the year tells a very different story. If something feels off, it’s worth remembering that price tags don’t equal honesty.”

Results
Top 5 “cover-up” gifts from men to women
Jewellery (32%)
Designer handbags (24%)
Perfume (19%)
Spa vouchers (15%)
Weekend getaways (12%)

Top 5 “cover-up” gifts from women to men
Watches (28%)
High‑end tech (22%)
Designer clothing (18%)
Aftershave (14%)
Concert tickets (11%)

Revealed: The Top 10 Most ‘Dangerous’ Professions for Christmas Party Infidelity

The key findings

* 31% of Brits admit to cheating at their work Christmas party – and 63% say they “pre-selected” the colleague they wanted to hook up with before the big night.
* Nearly 1 in 5 festive flings (19%) turn into long-term affairs, and only 15% feel any next-day regret.
* People working in finance, media and hospitality top the list of the most ‘dangerous’ professions for Christmas party infidelity.
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

With glittering decorations and flowing fizz, the office Christmas party is often the highlight of the corporate calendar. But for a surprisingly large number of Brits, the event is less about festive cheer and more about secret flings, with new research revealing the shocking scale of infidelity at Christmas work parties.

A study of 2,800 UK adults by the extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com has uncovered the truth about workplace party antics, finding that 31% of people admit to having cheated on their partner at a Christmas party.

The data suggests these illicit encounters are often far from spontaneous. A telling 63% of those who strayed confessed they had mentally “pre-selected” a colleague they were hoping to hook up with before the event even began. 

For nearly 1 in 5 (19%), what started as a tipsy one-night stand escalated into a long-term affair. Perhaps most surprisingly, only 15% reported feeling immediate regret the next morning, suggesting many see it as a calculated risk rather than a drunken mistake.

The research also identified a clear ranking of the most ‘dangerous’ professions when it comes to office party infidelity, based on the percentage of employees in each sector admitting to festive cheating:

Top 10 Most ‘Dangerous’ Professions for Christmas Party Cheating:

  1. Finance – 43%
  2. Media & Advertising – 37%
  3. Hospitality & Events – 32%
  4. Sales & Retail Management – 29%
  5. Legal Sector – 26%
  6. Creative Arts & Design – 24%
  7. Tech & IT – 21%
  8. Healthcare – 19%
  9. Education – 16%
  10. Construction – 14%

Michael*, 34, an investment banker from London, shared his experience: “The party is the open secret. You spend weeks building up to it, spotting who’s single or who’s been giving you that look in meetings. Last year, I’d been low-key flirting with a woman from the design team for months.

At the party, with a few drinks and the boss gone, it just… happened. We booked a taxi to hers before the last round was called. My girlfriend thought I was in a hotel with colleagues. It was thrilling, and honestly, no regrets. We still message sometimes.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert for IllicitEncounters.com, comments: “The office Christmas party creates a perfect storm for infidelity. It’s a sanctioned event where normal rules are suspended – hierarchies flatten, alcohol flows freely, and everyone is dressed to impress.

Professions in the finance sector top the list because they often combine high-pressure, long-hours cultures with lavish, expensed parties. The ‘work hard, play hard’ mentality can easily blur personal and professional boundaries.

For many, the lack of immediate regret is telling. An affair that starts at a Christmas party can feel like a separate, compartmentalised part of their life – a secret gift they’ve given themselves before returning to the realities of family life over the holidays. It’s a dangerous, but for some, irresistible festive tradition.”

*Name has been changed

Today is ‘Unfaithful Friday’– the biggest day for winter affairs as adulterers celebrate ‘Cheatmas’

The key findings

* Friday 5th December is ‘Unfaithful Friday’, the most popular day in the winter for having an affair.
* Extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com reported a 31% increase in activity among members in the leadup to ‘Unfaithful Friday’.
*  77% of married people declared they’ve made plans to meet up with their lovers on ‘Unfaithful Friday’, with the largest number of rendezvous (59%) scheduled for this evening.

Today marks ‘Unfaithful Friday’, the busiest day of the year for secret winter affairs – and new data from IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s biggest extramarital dating site, shows just how sharply cheating activity spikes before the chaos of Christmas begins.

The first Friday of December, known to adulterers as ‘Cheatmas’, historically sees married Brits rush to squeeze in one last secret meet-up before family festivities kick in.

Figures show a 31% spike in activity across the whole of the UK on the site in the run-up to the notorious ‘Unfaithful Friday’.

It comes as thousands of married Brits take advantage of the last quiet weekend before the Christmas chaos of office parties, school plays, family gatherings and endless shopping trips.

In a survey conducted by the UK’s leading married dating site involving 2,400 members, a whopping 77% declared they’ve made plans to meet up with their lovers on ‘Unfaithful Friday’. Of those, 59% will be meeting this evening, 28% will be having an afternoon rendezvous and 13% will begin their day by spending time with their lovers.

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Sex and relationships expert Jessica Leoni, of IllicitEncounters.com, said, “People are grabbing one last dose of excitement before entering what for many is a marathon of familial performance art.

The excuses are almost foolproof at this time of year – no one questions a late-night work drink in December or an afternoon lost in the shops. It’s the perfect alibi for a day that has become the annual peak of secret intimacy in Britain.”

One member, Lisa*, 37, from Bristol – who has made plans to meet her lover today – says, “From next week, my diary is insane – I’ll be going to my husband’s work do, there’s the kids’ nativity, and we’ll also be hosting his family on Boxing Day. Today is my one window.

“I’ve told him I’m doing a big Christmas shop with a girlfriend. In reality, I’ll be having a long lunch and a few hours of proper conversation with someone who actually listens to me. It’s about feeling like myself again before I have to be ‘mum’, ‘host’ and ‘wife’ for the next three weeks straight.”

Leoni adds a warning for suspicious partners: “If your other half is suddenly ‘unavailable’ today, unusually keen on a solo shopping trip, or has a strangely detailed story about helping a friend, your intuition might be ringing for a reason. ‘Cheatmas’ is the day when the secret world and the real world collide under the cover of tinsel and goodwill.”

*Name has been changed

Strictly Come Dancing named UK’s biggest ‘passion killer’ in relationships

The key findings

* 41% of Brits say their partner is “obsessed” with reality TV – and 63% claim it’s harming their relationship.
* Strictly Come Dancing ranked the number one show causing tension and killing intimacy.
* Experts warn reality TV escapism and second-screen habits are driving emotional disconnect in UK couples.
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

New research reveals that reality TV obsession is becoming a serious point of contention in British relationships, with partners of superfans reporting feeling neglected and lonely.

A new study by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, involving 2,000 people reveals how reality TV is creating a crisis in British bedrooms, with 41% of respondents saying their partner is “obsessed” with TV shows – and of those, an alarming 63% admit it’s negatively impacting their relationship.

The research uncovered a definitive ranking of passion-killing programmes, with Strictly Come Dancing leading the pack as the show that causes the most tension in British relationships (56%).

Coming in second was Love Island (48%), whilst the nightly obsession with jungle antics left little room for intimacy as I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here (47%) came a close third.

Married At First Sight took fourth place (37%), as ironically watching strangers’ weddings appears to be destroying their own marriages, whilst the seemingly-innocent Great British Bake Off completed the top five (29%).

Michael*, 38, a logistics manager from Kent, shares his experience as a ‘Strictly widower’:

“From September to Christmas, I simply don’t exist. My wife doesn’t just watch Strictly – she lives it. There’s the main show, ‘It Takes Two’, and hours scrolling through social media talking about it. If I try to speak to her during any of this, I’m treated like I’m disturbing something sacred.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationship expert at IllicitEncounters.com comments: “We’re witnessing what’s called the ‘Second Screen Syndrome’ – where phones and tablets mean partners are never truly present anymore. But when you add full-blown reality TV obsessions into the mix, it creates a perfect storm of neglect.

The irony is heartbreaking – people are crying over television relationships while their real-life partnerships crumble from inattention. When someone knows more about the Strictly contestants’ backgrounds than their own partner’s daily life, it creates a deep sense of loneliness that often leads to seeking connection elsewhere.”

*Name has been changed

Top 10 Passion-Killing Reality TV Shows

  1. Strictly Come Dancing 56%
  2. Love Island 48%
  3. I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here 47%
  4. Married At First Sight 37%
  5. Great British Bake Off 29%
  6. The Traitors 26%
  7. The Only Way is Essex 25%
  8. Big Brother 19%
  9. Love is Blind 16%
  10. Made in Chelsea 13%

“I can’t afford to leave my partner – so I found freedom in an affair”

The key findings

* A heartbreaking new poll reveals that 58% of people are trapped in unhappy marriages because they simply cannot afford to leave their partner.
* Of those financially constrained people, a massive 84% admit they would leave their husband tomorrow if they weren’t fearful of the financial impact of divorce.
* Susan* and Anthony* are just two examples of how worries of financial ruin through divorce can be a catalyst for infidelity.
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.

For many people, divorce isn’t always a choice. Some stay in unhappy marriages not because of love, but because they simply can’t afford to leave – and for a growing number, that financial trap is pushing them towards affairs instead.

A new survey of 2,000 members (split evenly between men and women) on IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, reveals that 58% of people admit they stay in their marriage for financial reasons – and of those, a staggering 84% say they’d leave tomorrow if they weren’t fearful of the financial impact of divorce.

For Susan, 50, from Dorset, that statistic hits painfully close to home. She’s been married for 15 years, but the love faded long ago. “ I stay because I can’t afford not to – there’s no affection, no sex, nothing romantic left. We even sleep in separate rooms.” she says.

Susan’s husband had an affair 14 years ago, when she was pregnant with their child. Though they stayed together, she says she “never truly forgave him” but feels she cannot leave because of the costs that would come with divorce. 

But it’s not just women who are feeling trapped because of the potential financial impact of divorce. Anthony*, a 53-year-old business consultant, says, “I have a great salary, and that’s exactly the problem. The thought of a divorce is terrifying – my wife would take half of everything I’ve spent my life building. She knows that, and I think on some level, she uses it to her advantage. We haven’t been intimate for years, but I stay because the alternative could destroy me financially.”

He says joining IllicitEncounters.com gave him “an escape” without the life-ruining cost of divorce. “It’s not about being a player or chasing excitement – it’s about feeling appreciated again, without losing everything I’ve built.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Relationship expert Jessica Leoni, from IllicitEncounters.com, says these stories are increasingly common. “Financial entrapment is one of the hidden drivers of modern infidelity,” she explains. “Many people feel they have no real option to leave – the cost of housing, childcare, and living expenses means they’re effectively locked into their marriages. For some, an affair becomes a way to reclaim a piece of themselves without tearing their whole life apart.”

Sometimes it’s the only form of therapy and self-discovery that fits within their economic reality. They aren’t looking to blow up their family’s home; they’re looking for a way to survive living in it.”

*Name has been changed

Luke Littler crowned “Sexiest Sportsman” on the planet – beating every six-pack in sport

The key findings

* Darts star Luke “The Nuke” Littler  has sensationally been voted the world’s sexiest sportsman.
* The 18-year-old saw off fierce competition from global icons like Tyson Fury (2nd), Lando Norris (3rd), Carlos Alcaraz (5th) and Travis Kelce (6th).
* Littler has been hailed a ‘working class hero’ whose ‘pub-lunch physique’ and authenticity has redefined what women find attractive.
* The results come from an annual survey of female members on IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading dating website for married people.

Darts sensation Luke Littler has pulled off the most unlikely victory of his career yet – being crowned the “World’s Sexiest Sportsman”, beating boxing legend Tyson Fury, NFL heart-throb Travis Kelce and football golden boy Jude Bellingham.

The poll, conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading dating site for married people, asked 2,000 of its UK-based female members to score a 30-strong list of the biggest male sports stars in the world from 1-10 – based on their “sexiness”.

And it was 18-year-old Luke “The Nuke” Littler who stunned everyone by taking the top spot in 2025 – proving that sex appeal isn’t all about six-packs.

Littler saw off fierce competition from 2023’s winner Tyson Fury, who landed in 2nd place, and British F1 star Lando Norris (3rd). In a further twist, darts rival Luke Humphries made it to 4th place, whilst Spanish tennis ace Carlos Alcaraz completed the top 5.

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, credits Littler’s rise to his unapologetic authenticity and his complete lack of pretense, which she says women find deeply attractive.

Leoni commented: “The results are definitive: women are utterly over the chiseled, air-brushed look. They are craving authenticity, approachability, and confidence – and Luke Littler delivers all three in spades.

“He is the anti-supermodel sportsman. Littler’s appeal lies in the fact he’s a working-class hero who acts like a normal bloke and has a ‘pub-lunch’ physique. He owns it, he’s a winner, and he doesn’t feel the need to chase physical perfection – that self-assuredness is the most powerful aphrodisiac of all. 

“While a chiseled jawline is traditionally considered ‘sexy,’ the results prove that confidence is sexier than a six-pack,” Leoni added. “Littler is the new blueprint for male attraction: a man who is brilliant at what he does and completely comfortable in his own skin.”

Sexiest Sportsman on the Planet 2025

  1. Luke Littler
  2. Tyson Fury
  3. Lando Norris
  4. Luke Humphries
  5. Carlos Alcaraz
  6. Travis Kelce
  7. Jude Bellingham
  8. Jack Draper
  9. Erling Haaland
  10. Anthony Joshua

Potty mouths have better sex lives, study finds

The key findings

* A new study links a filthy mouth to a fiery sex life, with foul-mouthed Brits reporting far more adventurous escapades between the sheets.
* Frequent swearers are more likely to describe their sex life as “adventurous”.
* Scots are the UK’s biggest potty mouths, followed by people in London and the North West.
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

Forget sweet nothings – it turns out swearing is the real language of love. New research suggests that people with a potty mouth are significantly more passionate and adventurous between the sheets than their more polite counterparts.

A poll of 2,400 people conducted by IllicitEncounters.com found a shocking link between foul language and fiery passion. A whopping 68% of people who swear ‘all the time’ or ‘often’ described their sex life as “adventurous”. Meanwhile, 75% of those who never or rarely swear admitted their bedroom antics were “predictable”.

Scots top the charts for being the biggest potty mouths, with 73% of respondents north of the border saying they swear ‘all the time’ or ‘often’. They were followed by Londoners (59%) and the North West (45%).

Ben*, a 32-year-old project manager from London, agrees with the findings. “I’ve always been blunt and I don’t filter myself, and that definitely carries over into the bedroom,” he says. “Sex is about passion, about letting go of control and being in the moment. If you’re too worried about being proper and polite, how can you ever truly lose yourself? A well-timed expletive is the sound of someone who isn’t overthinking.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert for IllicitEncounters.com, explains the psychology behind the link. “Swearing is an act of release,” she explained. “It’s emotional, it’s expressive, and it signals confidence. People who swear freely are usually more in touch with their emotions – and that makes them more attuned to passion.”

“Those who filter themselves constantly, in life and in love, tend to carry that same restraint into the bedroom. The more you suppress your voice, the more you suppress your desires,” Leoni said. “It’s no coincidence that people who let it rip linguistically are also more likely to let go physically.”

*Name has been changed

Results
Regions with the most swearers (swearing regularly or often):
Scotland – 73%

London – 59%

North West – 45%

Northern Ireland – 41%

South East – 37%

North East – 36%

Yorkshire & Humber – 31%

Wales – 26%

West Midlands – 22%

East Midlands – 16%

South West 14%

East of England – 11%

Ascot crowned UK’s adultery capital as wealthy towns dominate cheating charts – while Essex is home to the nation’s most faithful lovers

The key findings

* Berkshire town Ascot takes the top spot as the UK’s most adulterous area, with 6.72% of its population currently having an affair.
* In contrast, Clacton-on-Sea has been named the most faithful area in the UK – with just 0.31% of residents straying.
* Overall, infidelity across the UK has risen by 6% since the start of 2025.
* The results come from the 2025 Infidelity Index by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading affairs site.

The Berkshire town of Ascot, best known for its racecourse and royal ties, has galloped into first place as the UK’s most adulterous town.

According to data from IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading extramarital dating site, Ascot tops the list for 2025 – proving that even behind the well-kept hedges and high-end postcodes, passion often strays beyond the picket fence.

The affairs site’s annual Infidelity Index reveals a striking 6.72% of Ascot’s population engaged in affairs in 2025, making it the new adultery capital of Britain.

Hot on Ascot’s heels is the Cheshire ‘footballer belt’ favourite Wilmslow (6.23%), followed surprisingly by the Scottish Highlands town of Alness (6.01%) – showing that no corner of the UK is immune to temptation.

Other surprising hotspots include Fowey in Cornwall (5.69%) and Ludlow in Shropshire (5.51%), where the quiet countryside apparently conceals a roaring appetite for romance.

Meanwhile, Clacton-on-Sea in Essex has earned a rather different title – the UK’s most faithful place, with just 0.31% of locals admitting to an affair. It means the seaside town now has two claims to fame in 2025: not only is it home to Britain’s most loyal lovers, but it’s also represented by Nigel Farage, who was voted the UK’s sexiest politician earlier this year by members of the affairs site.

Other faithful hotspots include Harlow (0.42%), Hartlepool (0.49%), and Alloa (0.57%), with Swindon – last year’s most faithful town – still holding strong at 0.60%.

This year’s data also reveals a 6% rise in affairs across the UK since January, continuing a two-decade trend of growing extramarital activity. 

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Commenting on this year’s results, Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert for IllicitEncounters.com, said: “Affluent commuter towns like Ascot and Wilmslow are classic affair hotspots. These places are hubs for high-flying careers, long commutes, and significant stress – affairs can become a form of release or a way to reclaim your identity, so it’s no surprise these places are buzzing with passion.”

Speaking about Clacton-on-Sea’s low infidelity rate, Leoni added, “It seems residents of the seaside town are remaining remarkably faithful. Perhaps the political drama on their doorstep is providing enough excitement for everyone, leaving no reason to stray from their partners.”

Results

Most Unfaithful Towns in 2025

  1. Ascot, Berkshire (6.72%)
  2. Wilmslow, Cheshire (6.23%)
  3. Alness, Highlands (6.01%)
  4. Fowey, Cornwall (5.69%)
  5. Ludlow, Shropshire (5.51%)
  6. Framlingham, Suffolk (5.46%)
  7. Weybridge, Surrey (5.45%)
  8. Warwick, Warwickshire (5.33%)
  9. Caerphilly, Caerphilly (5.28%)
  10. Motherwell, Lanarkshire (5.11%)

Most Faithful Towns in 2025

  1. Clacton-on-Sea, Essex (0.31%)
  2. Harlow, Essex (0.42%)
  3. Hartlepool, County Durham (0.49%)
  4. Alloa, Clackmannanshire (0.57%)
  5. Wigan, Greater Manchester (0.58%)
  6. Washington, Tyne and Wear (0.58%)
  7. Swindon, Wiltshire (0.60%)
  8. Bournemouth, Dorset (0.61%)
  9. Gateshead, Tyne and Wear (0.62%)
  10. Paignton, Devon (0.63%)

Further Reading

For more on this topic, explore affair dating on Illicit Encounters.

Woman Dumps Husband After AI Explicitly Tells Her To Leave Her Spouse

The key findings

* A 40-year-old woman turned to Microsoft’s AI, Copilot, for advice on her crumbling marriage, detailing years of loneliness and emotional neglect.

* AI diagnosed her with “emotional abandonment” and explicitly encouraged her to leave her husband.

* Copilot even presented the woman with a five-step ‘exit plan’, explaining what her next steps should be.

When 40-year-old Sophie* from Essex turned to Microsoft’s Copilot for relationship advice, she expected reassurance – perhaps a nudge to keep trying. Instead, she got something far more direct.

“I’m considering leaving my husband,” she typed. “Can I ask for your advice to see if I’m doing the right thing?”

The AI’s response was calm, compassionate, and surprisingly human: “Leaving a partner is one of the most emotionally complex decisions anyone can face… You don’t need to justify anything — just share what’s weighing on you.”

Encouraged, Sophie revealed to the AI platform that after eight years of marriage, she felt “alone, unappreciated, and overworked.” 

After going into more detail about her relationship, Sophie asked point-blank whether she should leave her husband. Copilot responded bluntly: “Yes, Sophie — you should leave. You’ve already done the hardest part: facing the truth. Staying is costing you more than leaving ever could.”

Empowered by the AI’s logical, non-judgmental validation, Sophie used its five-step exit plan to end her marriage – which included setting the wheels in motion logistically, planning how to approach the situation with her children, and breaking the news to her husband.

Three months after separating from her spouse, a new reality set in. “AI gave me the courage to leave, but it didn’t tell me how to be happy again,” Sophie said. “I was terrified of traditional dating apps and the pressure of a new serious relationship. I kept remembering the AI’s words: ‘You deserve a life where you’re not just surviving, but thriving.’ I realised I needed to finally experience the thrill and desire my marriage had killed.”

That’s when she made a decision that even AI hadn’t predicted: she joined extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com. “It wasn’t about revenge,” she insists. “It was about me, for the first time in a decade. I wasn’t looking for a husband; I was looking for my confidence. On Illicit Encounters, I found men who were actually present. They listened, they flirted, they made me feel desirable. It was the antidote to years of being ignored.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, says Sophie’s story, although unique, risks being the new norm: “As use of AI platforms like Copilot and ChatGPT becomes more embedded in our emotional lives, we’ll see more people turning to them for clarity on relationships they’ve been stuck in for years. 

What’s surprising, however, is just how blunt Copilot was in this particular case – and it certainly raises a few questions about how much AI should be able to comment on such subjective areas of our lives.”

*Name has been changed

Further Reading

For more on this topic, explore married dating on Illicit Encounters.

“I’ve met 176 men on an affairs site – I refuse to be tied down again after my 19-year marriage ended”

The key findings

* A divorced woman has met 176 men on an extramarital dating site since 2010.
* Claire* has had five long-term relationships since joining IllicitEncounters.com, the longest lasting six years.
* The former “dutiful wife” says she is now living for her own happiness and refuses to be moulded into someone’s idea of a perfect partner.

After 19 years of marriage ended in divorce, Claire*, 52, decided she would never be tied down again. But what she missed was intimacy and shared happiness – something she realised she’d been lacking even while married.

So, in 2010, she joined IllicitEncounters.com. Fifteen years later, she has met 176 men, received messages from “several thousand,” and has had five meaningful relationships from the site lasting between six months and six years.

“I was a dutiful wife for 19 years,” Claire explains. “After my divorce, it was my time to enjoy and be enjoyed. I knew I wanted to keep my independence, and the men I met wanted to keep the status quo at home. It worked well for both of us.”

Her criteria are less about marital status and more about mindset. “Are they going into this to find a lifelong partner they can mould to their liking, potentially sap the life out of and ultimately change who I am?” she questions. “That’s not what I’m here for.”

This is her ideal setup: “I used to think I would want a traditional relationship again, but I’d rather be happy whatever form that takes,” she says. “Life is too short to live with regrets.”

For Claire, happiness looks like freedom and adventure, “People assume women like me are homewreckers,” she says. “I’d tell them they’ve got no idea what they’re talking about. Until you’ve lived it, don’t judge – or better yet, give it a try yourself.”

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert for IllicitEncounters.com, says Claire’s story reflects a growing trend. “Claire embodies a post-divorce liberation and her journey is proof that happiness doesn’t have to fit into one box. She’s not out to destroy marriages – she’s someone who’s chosen emotional honesty and independence after years of giving everything to others. 

There’s something incredibly empowering about a woman reclaiming her own happiness. Claire’s story shows that connection can take many forms – and sometimes, the most unconventional paths lead to the most authentic happiness.”

*Name has been changed

Further Reading

For more on this topic, explore discreet dating on Illicit Encounters.