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Letters to Sara

Pet Hates

Ladies and Gentlemen

Excluding Virtual Kisses and Gifts what are your pet hates with regard to messages?

I have a friend who also belongs to IE and our top three are as follows:

1. I like/love your profile when they plainly haven't read your profile!
2. I have just joined, when they already have at least six gifts!
3. I shaved a few years off my age, in response to us writing you are too young for me (8 years is the max shaving so far!)

Please share your bugaboos with us and the whole IE community.

Best wishes and good luck!

14 members like this.

Comments (35)

arianne321 - 03 Dec, 2018 - 11:49PM

Men who have dick pics in their profile {password protected}
Men who dont read profiles
Men who use the words hunni, babe, darling, sweetie etc
Touchy, huffy little men who spit the dummy out when you are not keen to converse further
Arrogant men who think they are God's gift

4 members like this comment.

1951Brian - 01 Dec, 2018 - 02:26PM


You construct a well thought out and carefully worded message after reading a profile. You delve further into it and ask for more information about the lady concerned and what she is actually seeking when the profiles are sparse.

You wait and wait, and then realise that they haven't had the decency or common courtesy to actually read them. And they say that us men are pigs.

5 members like this comment.

thereandback - 29 Nov, 2018 - 08:56PM

Lack of courtesy. Courtesy is so important, the internet itself doesn’t help but the Edge of anonymity you get here allows for an off hand rudeness or a jump to conclusions that is often unkind.

5 members like this comment.

Dinky70 - 25 Nov, 2018 - 09:21PM

1, When you are told to give a honest opinion about someones picture and then don't take no for an answer!
2, I had a conversation with a so called positive man. When I asked him about his job, he gave me a list of things I wasn't to discuss. No job, family, friends or holiday!? Idiot
3, being intimate with someone and told we are exclusive, but he's still very active.
4, when their profile clearly state they'd like to have dinner with you, be a friend as well as a lover and other lovely dates, but clearly it's only about weird kinky sex. Be honest about what you want in your profile please!
Rant over 😂😂

9 members like this comment.

Timbutnice - 25 Nov, 2018 - 07:52AM

New here, so forgive me. When chatting and you think thing's are going well, suddenly nothing not even just nipping out, washing my hair (old one ).A no thank you wold be nice some of us can live with it. Manners please.

8 members like this comment.

1071490-Deleted - 24 Nov, 2018 - 09:49PM

Weird blocking, got sent a message with password which I could not look at as was being over looked. Next time I sign on she has blocked me and sent me a message saying I obviously was not interested. We all need to wise up and understand that people appear online when they are not, that unless you have a certain type of account, you cannot tell if your message has been read.

3 members like this comment.

Midnightincantation - 21 Nov, 2018 - 08:55PM

Ange 0 Demon
Hear hear...I hate VKs. ..delete straight away...and gifts from men that have never messaged me...it gives the wrong impression. ...

3 members like this comment.

Hastenyeback - 20 Nov, 2018 - 12:26PM

hate the lets share password and then ....... be great if there was an immediate exchange button where yo both et to see at the same time

12 members like this comment.

sandy222 - 20 Nov, 2018 - 07:54AM

men with beards

5 members like this comment.

1268231-Scheduled For Deletion - 18 Nov, 2018 - 02:15PM

Dating sites

3 members like this comment.

1275400-Deleted - 17 Nov, 2018 - 07:03PM

Asking for photo
No hello or anything

5 members like this comment.

1264503-Deleted - 17 Nov, 2018 - 10:08AM

I wish there was a ratings system on here so we could see how people treat someone and then decide if we want to carry on chatting to them.
Speaking from experience there are a lot of guys who treat women appallingly on here.
Just because I'm on this site doesn't mean I don't deserve to be treated with respect.
I think that if both sexes had a heads up on someone it would save a lot of heartache and humiliation.

14 members like this comment.

Danzig1272 - 15 Nov, 2018 - 08:01PM

I think pet hate is a bit strong for me, but a mild irritation would be:

A profile says something like "and make sure your first message is interesting to show why you're different".

So I do (well I always try anyway) and the first reply is a std photo request and not even a hello. So I tend to ignore those.

5 members like this comment.

Ange ou Démon - 15 Nov, 2018 - 03:14PM

People who use the 'profile generator'.

Immediate 'NEXT' for me! (In fact I should be thankful, because it makes it so much easier to select the serious pot's in my full inbox)

What kind of effort can I expect from people who are too lazy to sit down and make a decent profile?
I mean; we are supposed to start a relationship, right? So give me at least a reason to pay attention and spend time talking to you!

So what makes you stand out from the crowd and catch the other sexe's attention?
Unfortunally not a lot of people here understand how important that is, and then complain they cannot find what they are looking for?!

Well, for a change; make a decent profile use a good (unrecognizable if you wish) profile picture and NEVER!, EVER! send a gift or a virtual kiss!

9 members like this comment.

sunbed320 - 15 Nov, 2018 - 10:47AM

@1134762-Deleted - 11 Nov, 2018 - 09:24PM:

To be fair, someone might add you to their Favourites simply as a way of bookmarking your profile, so they can easily find it again to re-read later on. (The site doesn't provide any other way to bookmark members' names.) So why not take it as a silent compliment!

And BTW your profile can be read without you knowing, if the reader has hidden their own profile status. (they might be shy!)

Is it just me, or does anybody else here wish IE would also give us a way to BLACKlist unsuitable or stroppy members (as UnFavourites ?) to prevent searches from constantly coming up with their names...!?

14 members like this comment.

Teicu - 14 Nov, 2018 - 06:46PM

A pet hatemaybe, but if you send a password and you don’t hear back there is normally a reason for that.
Why should I have to send my password to you if I have no intention of taking it further.
Ok common courtesy you say but us women get a lot of messages on here, if I had all day every day to spend on IE then maybe I would

2 members like this comment.

gaspod - 14 Nov, 2018 - 10:16AM

My pet hates are
- agreeing to share pics, going first and never hearing a word back. I change the password but you can wonder if they know you if they are relatively local and in general it just seems rude
- making a follow up to an innocent Hi type email to find you are blocked. Increasingly the general internet rudeness and aggression seems to be spreading to here, strange on site. These days the best profiles are of women who comment on here , as well as knowing they are still active and real.
- those who come over as sensible helpful people in their comments on the letters pages but block you off or act very differently when contacted

3 members like this comment.

1071490-Deleted - 13 Nov, 2018 - 11:56AM

Profiles that include a set of 'how tos' or 'how not tos' like a set of rules of engagement. I feel being on here has allowed some self reflection that makes me wonder about the many reasons people in relationships aren't satisfied or stop having sex, including me. The second is headless pictures of women in lingerie, its hard not to look good in lovely lingerie, but as I say in my profile Im more interested if you can you turn heads in an overcoat? Each to their own.

SofiaByzantium - 12 Nov, 2018 - 09:32PM

I love what you have to say!! My profile categorically says if you are under 50 no thanks or words to that effect. Within a week I usually get at least 3 aged 30 - 40 so they clearly have not read a flipping word !!!! The age thing never really bothers me if they are older and pretend to be younger. My real bugbear is when they turn up and the photos are quite clearly 20 years old although clothes and photo quality usually gives this game away! But second bugbear especially with an older guy is if they start making very strong sexual comments before they have even bothered to get to know you. That annoys me beyond belief. Have they no decorum?!!

9 members like this comment.

1134762-Deleted - 11 Nov, 2018 - 09:24PM

Being added as a favourite. ..without being messaged. .or profile being read..very insulting. .does one think one is an item to be purchased at a later date

8 members like this comment.

Temping - 10 Nov, 2018 - 11:48AM

* Men who want a "freebie" by asking in the first message if I would accommodate just because I'm single!!!
* Men who send a general first message, what I call the scatter gun method. Yes, I understand they are paying for the membership and time is limited but still not very flattering.
* Men who message me claiming to "love" my profile which I know is BS because I have used the profile generator and there is nothing to "love" about it!!!

4 members like this comment.

Timtim26 - 10 Nov, 2018 - 11:24AM

I particularly like it when asked to swap pictures. Made so much better when the other party has a look and then blocks you without any further comment. A quick no thank you would suffice

1 member likes this comment.

Man in the hat - 10 Nov, 2018 - 11:14AM

Those that expect you to go on a blind date - c'mon get real!

Someone who tells you how attractive you are, tentatively asks about height - and then blocks you when they discover you are not Peter Crouch. Very nice indeed.

1 member likes this comment.

2waysincerencounter - 08 Nov, 2018 - 11:37PM

Yes, Blondeambition, I hate it too when I have done my best to look good and smell nice etc, have gone out my way to travel at the rendezvous, and the person does not show up at a 1st or 2nd meeting and has no excuse other than weird stories. When the e-communication continues somehow and I again ask what happened as I smell a rat (not a good scent), the story changes to "I messed up". When I reply, well that is not really funny, isn't it, she threatens to report me to the police. Lovely indeed.

1 member likes this comment.

Kubixia - 08 Nov, 2018 - 10:37PM

Obvious copy and pasting to point of leaving someone else’s profile name on their opening gambit.

Receiving exactly the same message months or weeks apart. I get if it’s not broke don’t fix it, but COME ON, make an effort.

Assumptions; I may live in Essex but if you assume I’m an Essex girl you will be either disappointed or delighted to find I am not.

Sorry to be a pedant, glaringly obvious grammatical errors such as their/they’re/there. A typo or two is a different matter.

2 members like this comment.

Sexybexy - 08 Nov, 2018 - 01:44PM

Darlings, I don't wish to be rude here, but, as an ex-teacher, I can't help but notice that SOME of us are not answering the question as set.
We are being asked for our pet hates 'with regard to messages'
This does not include pet hates as to men in general, however pithy and true these may be.
In future, marks will be deducted for irrelevant content...

9 members like this comment.

richgirl3 - 08 Nov, 2018 - 01:51AM

Childish rude profile names, puts me off straight away.
When you say too old or too young the reply is always "age is just a number" - no means no, get over it!

5 members like this comment.

Blondeambition287 - 07 Nov, 2018 - 10:18PM

It really annoys me when i've arranged to meet up with someone and he hasnt made any effort at all with his appearance. I always go out of my way to look and smell good for a date, why can't men make the same effort???

5 members like this comment.

Sexybexy - 07 Nov, 2018 - 12:32PM

My pet hates are:

1. Senders who clearly can't tell my profile is written tongue-in-cheek
2.Senders who immediately tell me what they will do to my body (most of these messages are anatomically inaccurate with poor grammar and spelling!)
3. "Do you want to chat?" The answer is no. I came on here to date/have an affair, not to chat.

6 members like this comment.

Spicy Asian - 07 Nov, 2018 - 11:43AM

I find this mostly with ladies...Sorry ladies but its true. A lot rely on physical appearance and if they dont like the pic they just vanish rather than say sorry your not my type.

1 member likes this comment.

The Actress - 07 Nov, 2018 - 11:23AM

I only have two to add to the list----

1. An introductory message without my name at top----How many other ladies are reading that same message right now?
2. 40 somethings, who message me, despite my preferred age range being 60+. Do they think I'll be grateful?

2 members like this comment.

Lasttimecaller? - 07 Nov, 2018 - 07:42AM

My personal top 5 would be:

1. Anyone who can't be bothered to respond to an introductory message with maybe even a 'thanks for your message, good luck'
2. The dreaded profile generator, which tells you nothing of any real value about the person using it.
3. Requesting a photo password before exchanging any messages whatsoever.
4. Saying, '' let's exchange pics", when what they mean is, "show me your pic, but if I don't like it, you won't see me for dust!".
5. People who take offence if you don't reply to their message as quickly as they expect/require.

9 members like this comment.

1264503-Deleted - 07 Nov, 2018 - 07:38AM

Face Photos from the 90s.
Dick pictures in their private gallery.
Clearly lied about there age then denies it.
Arrange to meet then literally as your walking out the door they cancel.

9 members like this comment.

Time.is.right - 07 Nov, 2018 - 05:46AM

One word answers to messages and then getting all hurt when they’re told you’re not interested because if it

Profile pictures that have zero correlation to the the person

In fact profiles in general which describe somebody’s fantasy self which unfortunately, as good as it sounds, isn’t the person I’m going to meet unless you’re a damn good actor

1 member likes this comment.

Jonwinter777 - 07 Nov, 2018 - 12:46AM

Someone who requests your password and then vanishes into the cyber void without so much as a "you're an ugly *****; don't darken my inbox again!" :-)

15 members like this comment.

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