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Letters to Sara

IE Etiquette

Dear Sara

I keep reading across several letters, that there is an ‘etiquette’ and there are ‘rules’ related to contact on IE. What are these rules? I had assumed that women should make the first contact (as I dont want to add to their bombardment ! and they can choose themselves) but it seems I have been extremely naive.

6 members like this.

Comments (13)

1293000-Deleted - 16 Feb, 2019 - 07:22AM

I'm happy to make first contact, I'm comfortable enough in myself that I can handle the rejection too... But saying that, I have found that I have not had a single response back. It seems they haven't even read my message, even though they add me to their favourites.

Why is that? I'm quite relatively inexperienced with IE, so maybe it's an account set up issue... 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, my only rule I feel is that whether he or she initiates contact - just be polite! Manners costs nothing 😘

1 member likes this comment.

Serialencounter - 07 Feb, 2019 - 04:09PM

If I remember correctly, over the years and a few times as a member of the site, I think most of my encounters became such when it was the lady who made the first genuine contact. Something in the profile seemed to make them lose all caution.

However of late, I have noticed a much more structured purpose and intent, to the point that etiquette as such is the least consideration.

Protocol is probably a better word.

1290052-Deleted - 01 Feb, 2019 - 06:45AM

It makes me laugh 😂 when I see that I have had lots of women look at my profile but no messages. Only thing I can put it down to is that I am down as BALD 👨‍🦲. Are the women on here looking for Mr Perfect 👌. Sorry 😐 ladies but I think your being slightly shallow. You will find that personality can be as SEXY as looks.

Sinsuality - 29 Jan, 2019 - 05:36PM

I'm very much in favour of women taking the initiative and making first contact. In fact, I make a point of saying as much in my profile. For me, empowerment and self-confidence are very desirable attributes in a woman.

But (call me superficial if you like) I need to see what someone looks like at an early stage. I have plenty of platonic friends and, while I'm always open to making more, my primary purpose in being here is to find mutual sexual attraction and appreciation. How can we know if we fancy one another without checking out the visuals...?

Thaddeus - 24 Jan, 2019 - 11:26AM

As a normal-enough, alpha-enough chap on here, it is fine to be contacted first, and you probably wouldn't be interested in a man who took offence, so yes, do get in touch. As for passwords really early on, maybe I'm too cautious, but I don't ask, and don't respond to requests, until at least a day or so and some rapport has been established. Otherwise it's just like flipping tinder, all about looks and not to much the person.

1268231-Deleted - 07 Nov, 2018 - 04:56PM

Do women contact men first here? My impression is that with an over-supply of men, they don't need to make an effort and can wait to be contacted first. On the rare occasions they do initiate contact they are surprised, baffled or annoyed if you're not interested.

3 members like this comment.

Organic Basket of Plums - 07 Nov, 2018 - 12:53PM

Re Sexybexy

Maybe it's irony on your part but your expectation that men should make the initial advance and offer up their pictures upon their first message for your benefit..

Is both highly shallow upon your part
and a smack around the chops to all of those confident and savvy women who realise that this is 2018 not 1958

6 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 07 Nov, 2018 - 11:42AM

Sexybexy - 06 Nov, 2018 - 04:59PM

I WISH men would say Hi and SEND THEIR PIC PASSWORD on first contact. This would save an awful lot of time...
- Then request it on your profile, I do.
- I do not respond to a VK
- Depending on time or tone of message etc I MAY not respond if the password is not sent as requested, sometimes a prompt is given and all flows from there.

One person had NO intention of providing a photo EVER no idea how he felt that was going to work on here.

So ask on profile, prompt, else move on :-)

3 members like this comment.

1273309-Deleted - 07 Nov, 2018 - 07:47AM

The only etiquette that makes any sense to me is:
Male or female, if you see a profile you like, and which stirs something in you, why not say 'hi'?
What have you got to lose?

8 members like this comment.

1264503-Deleted - 06 Nov, 2018 - 10:25PM

You may be waiting awhile for a women to contact you.
If a women has looked at your profile a polite "I saw you looking " is a good starting point if you get no reply you no they've checked you out and are not interested.
Good luck.

3 members like this comment.

Bereweeke - 06 Nov, 2018 - 07:25PM

To quote and amend a very old saying - "Manners maketh man and woman!." I am a woman and have never made first contact (sounds like "First Encounters" film) but I do appreciate when a gentleman sends me a message and I always respond. I think it is kindly that you do not want to approach a woman but times have changed with regard to internet dating so be bold,. take care and good luck.

1 member likes this comment.

1269928-Deleted - 06 Nov, 2018 - 05:51PM

I have mentioned before my awful experience of contacting a certain male on here first . I had the most dreadful response from him , sarcastic. And rude saying ladies should never make the first contact . I note he says he has been on here years , so his etiquette is working to his disadvantage if he hasn’t secured someone yet . There is no etiquette except to be polite .

4 members like this comment.

1118221-Deleted - 06 Nov, 2018 - 04:59PM

No, no, no! I always wait for men to contact me unless IE have told me a guy has made me their favourite and their profile looks reasonable. I don't know what the rules are, but I WISH men would say Hi and SEND THEIR PIC PASSWORD on first contact. This would save an awful lot of time...

4 members like this comment.

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