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Letters to Sara

Manners Please Ladies

Hi ,I have been a member for several years and have to send this letter due to recent experiences.  I have always treated women well and as I think they should be .I am not a player,  no notches on bedposts for me !

I read profiles and when I read ,"please send a message " I do compose an individual polite reply .With the membership most of the guys on here have a notification system to  inform when the messages are read .

Now to the main point , I understand that not everyone will find attraction but good manners should cost nothing!  To read a message,  view a profile and then ignore  questions asked " How are you "etc is something I do not understand. A brief reply is all that is required, you are not committed to having to meet ,or stay in contact . I know many female members have so many messages they may not feel they have the time to answer .  

Comments are welcome .

48 members like this.

Comments (65)

1177572-Deleted - 24 Jan, 2018 - 11:02AM

I understand that it can be frustrating for guys when ladies don't respond to their messages, but politeness works both ways. I do try to reply, and always politely, even if I'm not interested, but even that can result in insulting responses. I've been blocked, I had one chap go on to offer me money to sleep with him. Then there are the guys that don't take no for an answer, and see any reply, even one clearly saying "thanks, but no thanks", as an opening to try to convince me that I'm wrong, and keep messaging, even when I stop replying. Then there's the ones who either haven't bothered reading my profile, or have chosen to ignore it, and will message despite being at the other end of the country, or way out of my age range, and I don't see why I should take the time and effort, when they clearly haven't. I do also get rather a lot of messages in my inbox, and sometimes it's just hard to find the time to respond, and to keep track of who I need to reply to. So, there are many reasons why I may not reply.

2 members like this comment.

990870-Deleted - 14 Jan, 2018 - 07:49PM

I’ve been on here a for a couple of months and made some nice friends, however when I kindly said to one man thank you for your lovely message and kind words however you are not for me and I wish you all the best of luck in finding what you are looking for :).......his response was’ oh dear what will my boys think of their super dad getting a knock back by a no good cheating wife, this really angered me to be honest so I replied ‘ more to the point if you had taken the time to read my profile, I am single but like my own space and can do what I like when and as I please, as for your boys what will they think of their super dad cheating on their mum, this may have not been a nice response but at the end of the day whether the mistress or the cheater we are both in the wrong and no one should be judging or replying with bitter comments?

5 members like this comment.

I'm With Cupid - 13 Dec, 2017 - 07:23AM

I've been on this site for nearly three weeks now and this is one of the things I have noticed, however I have had several polite rejections and one rude one. There are a handful of women that I've messaged and I can see they have read them, so, one week on with no reply, I take it as them not being interested. What bothers me more is chatting with someone you have a real connection with, then they disappear off the face of the earth! Back to the drawing board!

1 member likes this comment.

Elegant Flower - 12 Nov, 2017 - 08:51AM

It is a reflection of life in general, when some people are lacking in common courtesy or civility. And behind the anonymity of their screens, this type of poor behaviour becomes all the more pronounced in those individuals, who do not fully appreciate the value of politeness or etiquette.
Should we really focus our attention or energy on them? What is there to be gained by that? Should we try to analyse their motives? Should we interpret this as a reflection on our person? No, because these negative people can drain you, and you already know it will not yield you any desirable outcome in the end.

Therefore, it would be much wiser to selectively focus one’s energies and attentions on only those, who radiate a pleasant energy, and who are polished and respectful, as this will be more likely to make the overall experience of looking for a wonderful match a less daunting one.

Do not let others drag you down to their level. Instead, keep your perspective open for those, who will rise to yours.

2 members like this comment.

1071886-Deleted - 01 Nov, 2017 - 10:26PM

What does it matter whether someone who doesn't want to engage in conversation politely ignores you or sends a message saying that they don't want to engage in conversation

4 members like this comment.

1180540-Deleted - 24 Oct, 2017 - 06:37PM

I feel for you but it is peanuts. I was dumped for being too affectionate after I caught her roaming on IE (which we agreed we would not do before ending an affair.) Before that all was magic which confused me for 17 months because I felt immensely abused/hurt. I was used for sex, to pleasure her, under false pretences. She also liked unprotected sex so I was not amused (got screened after that). Googled a bit after this Weinstein stuff: sex under false pretences qualifies as sexual misconduct. But what really got me is not that I had so-called fallen in love, which was not true, but the total destruction of trust, given that she knew I had been the victim of severe fraud in my banking environment, basically sustained lying. To hit me with sustained lying, that hurt me. Amusingly enough, when we met I was not her type but my writing caught her. I can now honestly say: you are not my type as I detest people who not only lie, but are bad at it and maintain lying when caught. More manners please.

2 members like this comment.

berkeley9 - 23 Oct, 2017 - 10:14AM

I always read the full profile of the lady I am going to message and try to write something appropriate to that profile. Usually, it's not a long message, just a few sentences, just to catch their interest (I hope).

Frankly, I don't expect an answer and that is the normal situation. On the occasion that I do get a "no thankyou" reply, I always message back with something like "Okay, good luck". Not only do I think it polite to do so, it also closes the correspondence for both of us.

2 members like this comment.

1177000-Deleted - 14 Oct, 2017 - 10:57PM

It's really easy. You receive a message reply politely. If you say, thank you, but no thank you and the other one gets stroppy ignore them. There, simple.

4 members like this comment.

Spicemanuk - 14 Oct, 2017 - 05:54PM

I totally agree with this letter ... this situation has happened to me and I would like to receive a polite reply : “No, thanks .. you are not for me “.... etc ...
Instead or being ignored or blocked which is worst !!...

It is very cheeky to request a password and after being notified that you have been seen .. no answer...

No need to say that phrases such as thank you and please cost nothing ...

I cannot agree more with someone commenting that this should work both ways ... good manners , please .

Thank you very much for reading this comment : ))

2 members like this comment.

MysticalSunlight47 - 13 Oct, 2017 - 04:54PM

I think this, sadly works both ways. Some men here are very polite and reasonable, some are the total opposite. As I am sure goes for the females here. I try to be very polite and am often on the receiving end of some dreadful rudeness. Its people, the individual I think. A lot of folk here lose sight that we are all different, and just lump women in one pile and men in another. A pity, as we are all individuals as well as either men or women. best wishes to all.

4 members like this comment.

VaguelyOptimistic - 13 Oct, 2017 - 10:01AM

Simple answer - when I know I'm not interested but I respond in a kind and polite manner, it is usually treated as an invitation to continue writing to me. So I get more messages, and then I have to do the rejecting all over again. I see no point doing that, it wastes everyone's time. So I decided not to answer most messages I get. Especially if there is no effort put. Why would I feel obliged to answer 10 times a day "how are you?" or "any luck yet?" to someone I don't know at all?

14 members like this comment.

secretlady121 - 10 Oct, 2017 - 10:33PM

I joined this site this evening about an hour ago and have already received messages from approximately a hundred men. Most were too lazy to read the profile and/or just wrote a few lines of nothing. No wonder some of them rarely get a reply. To get a reply you need to send one that is interesting first.

8 members like this comment.

wiselady - 10 Oct, 2017 - 04:27PM

My friend was on here and got besieged by men nagging her to meet. If she wasted her time responding and was courteous they thought they could turn it into a I will change your mind or I will criticise you and call you names contest. So she learnt it was easier and quicker to just ignore the ones she did not fancy. IF the guy is worth meeting that will not bother him, he will get other offers.

1 member likes this comment.

1172681-Deleted - 03 Oct, 2017 - 02:39PM

In total agreement with this comment.......being a decent person, I have replied and answered all questions truthfully and then nothing, not a single word of reply and when I ask if there is anything else, i was blocked x 2.
No need for ignorance!!!!

6 members like this comment.

1171294-Deleted - 01 Oct, 2017 - 12:56AM

A no reply in my book ALWAYS indicates the other party is simply not interested. I have never messaged a guy from here first so dont have the experience you have sorry but I would just block and move on and not spend time worrying about it to be honest. It doesnt necessarily mean the lady has bad manners - however. What I have found though, that if I DO reply to a message in any way it will keep the thread of conversation going even when you dont want it to. Also, even when you do reply with a polite - 'you are not for me sorry', men can sometimes ask why or get stroppy about it. I think that is probably one of the reasons ladies wont reply.

13 members like this comment.

Roi_de_France - 30 Sep, 2017 - 11:34PM

You can't know the reason why people react the way they do, mostly because you don't know their situation and who else they're talking to, plus people are not always logical.

For instance, I've seen over 20 ladies' profiles where the headline age is about 7 years older than it says in their profile body. Explanations might be that they're lying about their age, or that their profile is 7 years old.

3 members like this comment.

Secondhand Rose - 22 Sep, 2017 - 02:14PM

Perhaps the Letter should be entitled "Manners please EVERYONE"

I recently invited a gentleman(?) to fill in his wizard profile, so that I could get an idea of him as a person.

He replied "I'm not bothered".

Needless to say my response was "Neither am I". LOL

9 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 22 Sep, 2017 - 11:00AM

NaughtyUKGent - 18 Sep, 2017 - 06:02PM

I personally tend not to block anybody [except for a very few who were extremely rude without reason] but perhaps the reason those ladies who block you after their polite refusal did so to curtail any further communication? It has been said that some of the men tend to get abusive when refused apparently.

5 members like this comment.

NaughtyUKGent - 18 Sep, 2017 - 06:02PM

I also find this a strange 'feature' of this site. Moreover, even if you get a polite reply, thank you but no thank you and simply wish to reply to say "OK, best of luck in your search", on hitting SEND, you find you have been BLOCKED by the said woman - Why? As I often say this place is a strange strange place!

5 members like this comment.

politody - 17 Sep, 2017 - 07:01PM

I agree with you Elizabeth when clearly no effort has been made... however I know that I at least read a profile with care and think carefully about how I will construct a reply.
One can easily tell when an effort has been made or not ... but when an effort has been made, then I think it is bad to be ignored, As Dan correctly mentions, what 30 secs, if that, to type "thanks but no thanks"

2 members like this comment.

Black Gent - 17 Sep, 2017 - 01:02PM

I am accustom to women lacking in manner in the real world why should it be any different in cyber space? Of course to be fair women would say the same thing of some of us men. However I have never tried to date a man (no disrespect to those men who do) hence my comment. I always consider myself to have dodged a bullet when a woman shows her poor manners early on as I do not have t contend with that if we become an item. Sex is great but it is not everything

2 members like this comment.

ElizabethC - 17 Sep, 2017 - 10:22AM

Is it really that bad if someone ignores your message? It is tiresome when it is blatantly obvious that my profile has not been read as the sender of the message wants something completely different to me. I placed a lot of thought and effort in to writing my profile, so nothing is more irritating when you are messaged asking for a photo password to find a poorly written profile from the sender, or one where they had to use the so called Wizard (what is that all about!) Don't expect a reply when you can't make an effort to A, read my profile B, not complete your own profile fully using your own words, and C, ensure you are looking for the same style relationship that the recipient of your message is looking for.

10 members like this comment.

_dan___ - 14 Sep, 2017 - 06:31AM

I get very upset when a lady doesn't respond to my virtual gift. Does she not realise that I've used 4000 credits to send that necklace!!! I mean jeeez, some people are so ungrateful aye lol. But back to the original post, if a guy or lady has taken the time to construct a decent message, I think it's courteous to reply. You've taken the time to read it. What's another 30 seconds to type thanks but no thanks. Obviously the ol copy paste jobs, virtual kisses/gifts I wouldn't bother too much with.

4 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 13 Sep, 2017 - 01:36PM

Blocking after not liking a photo is rude and immature, I agree with this one.

13 members like this comment.

politody - 12 Sep, 2017 - 10:24AM

"sorry not my type", isn't rude, fair enough.
Here is an example though that is rude. So I make a pleasant introduction, supply a password. Next day I attempt to message a simple but polite "so what did you think?" , to find I am blocked !!!

8 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 12 Sep, 2017 - 09:03AM

hehe, smooth operator- where does your 'smooth' come into your 'operation?' And where does fun and spontaneity come into showing a fairly good pic? There are ways and ways of showing a spontaneous, fun pic.

Would you turn up to a date looking like you just woke up? No. Unshaved? Unless that five o'clock shade suits you. In a white t-shirt full of barbecue sauce? NO, not that spontaneous. So why would you send a careless photo? But that's what I have seen sometimes. Ah, not to mention a couple of Barbie dolls on a bed in the background, which I supposed was his kid's.

PS- Seriously, I didn't want to get in the way between him and his Barbies. Quite a handful there!

4 members like this comment.

Doktor Avalanche - 11 Sep, 2017 - 01:24PM

@polidoty I actually don't want to see a woman's photos after she has declined mine. (Polite declinees have offered passwords, I've not looked)

Seems a bit reminiscent of Bullseye, where TV god Jim Bowen would reveal a speedboat to a pair of plumbers from Doncaster with 'have a look a what you could have won!'

(what they'd have done with a bloody speedboat was never explored)

7 members like this comment.

politody - 11 Sep, 2017 - 12:43PM

oh and exotic orchid: i always reply to a message, I never give just silence. A reply take 5 seconds, if that. Perhaps I was just brought up better by my dear old departed mum lol

2 members like this comment.

mistinthesea - 11 Sep, 2017 - 11:56AM

I'm not sure what kind of replies you got when you mention 'sorry, not my type' but this is NOT rude! As you feel so strong about this, I'm beginning to think you are as guilty of the sin or have given a huge contribution to it. If you wish to have a chance to see the ladies' picture in return after yours being rejected, I wonder what you said in the first place that did not encourage them to do the same.

Even if you were not blatantly rude; just the fact you questioned their decision of not meeting you after seeing your photo, when all they said was 'sorry, not my type' (as you pointed it), is not the best way to encourage ladies to show theirs in return. Personally that does not encourage me to even reply anymore, let alone say a kind 'sorry, not my type.' Think about it!

3 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 11 Sep, 2017 - 11:48AM

lletstry17 - 09 Sep, 2017 - 04:35PM

Agree ... sometimes it's quite a relief when someone rejects you first just as you are thinking of the nicest way to say thanks but no thanks ... haha.

politody - 10 Sep, 2017 - 11:50AM

Believe me, men are good at the "silence" treatment too.

3 members like this comment.

1152298-Deleted - 10 Sep, 2017 - 05:59PM

In the end, it is what it and we cant change that... A great deal of cowards here and would suggest cowards in real life too..

After all, profiles read from "I am a gentleman" or "I am polite and courteous and surprise surprise they are neither..

They call it a throw away society, I think they forgot to mention people threw away their manners too !

Still in the end do you want to meet a spineless coward !!

5 members like this comment.

1027752-Deleted - 10 Sep, 2017 - 11:55AM

Yep it's relentless.. the pic request! That lovely message 'shall we share pics'.. and like a mug, of course I do. Do they share their's, not a F***in chance! It's making visiting here not a nice experience anymore, something's change since I was last here, the whole tone is becoming (and the blokes I'm sure are largely to blame).. really spiky.

2 members like this comment.

politody - 10 Sep, 2017 - 11:50AM

Doktor Avalanche - I must apologise in advance, because I fell about laughing reading your comment about being called a "moose" !

But were you given the chance to see the photo of the lovely polite lady (note heavy irony) who called you a moose ? My bet is no, but you tell me !

... this is an aspect of this lottery that winds me up. In general us men must give our passwords first (not always, but usually) , then we get silence, something rude or "sorry not my type" , yet we don't get give a password in return i.e. we are not given the chance to judge back

4 members like this comment.

Chantell1 - 10 Sep, 2017 - 01:39AM

I am sorry to hear, I would always answer, sometimes it's not always clear if one gets a message. wish I had so many messages I cldn't answer. sob sob

1170641-Deleted - 09 Sep, 2017 - 04:35PM

All this can apply to some man in here too.
I just recently have joined this site, start chatting to one guy and after photos exchange I knew this man is not my cap of tea and I was thinking to send him very polite reply - but as he become silent I just sent him another text and finally he sent a reply saying ' sorry I was making cap of tea , you look nice but not for me'
Such a relief -not me have to send that message, no point to be silent- you may make somebody even relieved sending your rejection .

4 members like this comment.

smooth operator - 09 Sep, 2017 - 12:06PM

After reading Raquels
guide on how to take an eye watering photograph...

I am at a loss as to where to fit in the spontaneity and having fun element!

1 member likes this comment.

smooth operator - 09 Sep, 2017 - 11:56AM

Re Doktor Avalanche

"I second that emotion"

2 members like this comment.

Kassandra111 - 08 Sep, 2017 - 11:44PM

As a lady replying to messages I can assure you this practice is not gender explicit, we ladies have similar reactions.

You have to remember this is not about you personally, but mutual attraction, If your photo makes him/her react by blocking you, then aren't you glad? because now they won't waste your time and you can go onto better things... and if they ignore you, don't take it the wrong way either, just block them then it will save you time later...

The block button is a wonderful resource, I hold my hand up and fully admit I use it to eliminate unsuitable candidates, usually after I have 'politely declined' it saves time and trouble of messaging a second time if you have deemed them to be unsuitable...

2 members like this comment.

Doktor Avalanche - 08 Sep, 2017 - 01:50PM

Ah yes. The silent rejection.

Actually, I guess I'm comparatively fortunate in that most of the women I contact do reply. Possibly because I don't contact many, and select with care.

So far, so good.


Photo exchange.

I had laboured under the impression that I looked ok. And my photos, alas, DO look like me.

Oh dear.

The response has been silence. From all but three. Two very pleasant and courteous notes of decline. And one which read 'moose'.

(Which is actually pretty funny. And much preferable to radio silence)

Still. Optimism abounds (been here before some years ago with success) so onwards I plough.

If there are any women here keen on moose (plural same as singular. I like that) you know where to find me.

8 members like this comment.

TheCat05 - 07 Sep, 2017 - 08:39PM

Sorry you feel like that but if you get innundated your don't know who you are chatting to it gets crazy. So I just pick one or two and then chat. If after that we don't seem compatible then I say thanks but no thanks. Also guys so do the same.

2 members like this comment.

1170630-Deleted - 07 Sep, 2017 - 10:29AM

Agreed - a one-liner saying 'thanks but not interested' take seconds to write. Plus it shows you're not rude.

3 members like this comment.

1071886-Deleted - 05 Sep, 2017 - 06:33PM

No reply is a reply in itself

5 members like this comment.

amber57 - 05 Sep, 2017 - 01:06PM

well, my life going in any aspect ,
i like to treat people as i like to be treated,
simple , be nice , polite and yes i be brought up to say thank you , or no thank you , its expected of every one ,after all we are all strangers to each other, never mind if we sit behind the internet or writting a respond.

3 members like this comment.

Annaverylondon - 05 Sep, 2017 - 11:47AM

Of course we should reply to people who send us messges. Thanks but no thanks and good luck int your search etc.
But to the lazy ones who keep on sending virtual gifts, i do nadas.
Happy sexy autumn! :)

2 members like this comment.

Newoldmanish - 05 Sep, 2017 - 06:35AM

I've only just joined this site and I'm mystified by all this need for protocol. By the nature of this site not everyone can answer everything instantly and respond as if they have no life at all. If you lay down rules and expectations people are denied their freedom and humanity. People are people both male and female and deserve the right to do as they please, if you don't like it get some help.

5 members like this comment.

1090448-Deleted - 04 Sep, 2017 - 06:02PM

"Do as you would be done by" - if you expect some form of reply to messages, then always try to do the same yourself (unless of course the other party was, for example, abusive) - it takes almost no time to reply, even if it's a kind "Thank you for your message, but I don't think we're a great fit, best of luck...."

If you behave this way but some people ignore your messages, or give you cursory replies, then I believe you already know all you need to know about them - they quite likely don't have your values, so save your time, let go, move on and be grateful you just had a lucky escape!

Best of luck everyone :-)

1 member likes this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 03 Sep, 2017 - 09:53PM

The Actress - 31 Aug, 2017 - 06:53PM

I have been told I write the nicest rejection letters myself---an odd compliment, I'll admit, but Hey; I'll take it, with a smile!! LIOL

... well dont keep them a secret we can share the secret of a pleasant - no thank you :-)

Tantalising - 03 Sep, 2017 - 03:47PM

I often receive contact from members who have not given any thought whatsoever to the message they have sent Not surprisingly I pass them by

1 member likes this comment.

mistinthesea - 03 Sep, 2017 - 12:44PM

If your IE doesn't reply to a message after a few meets in person, then that's rude! Complaining here is just about making your money worth it if you are paying to be a member. You don't really care! Writing a really nice message and wishing for a reply is one thing, but saying someone is being rude because they haven't replied, is silly. I don't buy it.

4 members like this comment.

1142187-Deleted - 02 Sep, 2017 - 01:22PM

Why to bother so much with replying, or not?? No answer is in itself an answer. Would nicely written rejection letter somehow make situation better???

3 members like this comment.

sferena - 02 Sep, 2017 - 10:53AM

MPL: Medical Professional Liability? Marginal Product of Labor? Movimiento Patria Libre (Spanish)? NO!! Manners Please Ladies!

Both genders are and have always been guilty of the same since the virtual world is world.

1 member likes this comment.

Raquel12 - 02 Sep, 2017 - 01:08AM

smooth operator- I do reply to well composed messages but ignore silly ones. And yes, I think the OP has answered his own question- ladies sometimes get inundated by messages. We have to be selective.

Raquel12 - 02 Sep, 2017 - 12:59AM

polidoty- hahahaha, so true! But I will tell you one thing- a good photo can attract the people meant for you. Remember, this site brings up the shallow side in many of us. It doesn't mean we are all shallow here, or that we are shallow because we have rejected a photo or two. However, this site is 'pick and go.' We don't have time to delve too much into personalities. So a good photo will attract the ones whom you may have more affinity with, not to mention it shows you cared a little. I'm no expert but in this world of selfies, a few tips go a long way. No, don't photoshop but use good lighting. Don't choose over pixelled or blurred photos but soften the focus. Don't photograph your face too close to the camera, especially from below, showing no neck and a double chin. Make sure you have been awake for a few hours, so no puffy eyes. The background in your photo should be reasonably tidy if taken in your bedroom. Dress well for it, why not? You can dress well being smart casual too.

2 members like this comment.

The Actress - 31 Aug, 2017 - 06:53PM

I'm rarely bold enough to make the first approach, and I can honestly say that no-one has ever said "thanks, but no thanks" to me---BECAUSE I GENERALLY DON'T GET ANY ANSWER AT ALL.

After the first few attempts, I just stopped trying, BUT.........

I have been told I write the nicest rejection letters myself---an odd compliment, I'll admit, but Hey; I'll take it, with a smile!! LIOL

7 members like this comment.

politody - 31 Aug, 2017 - 06:37PM

"if your photo has been rejected, work on it ..." - what do you suggest Raquel, plastic surgery ? No matter what tricks of lighting one uses, or how one dresses, one looks how one looks !

9 members like this comment.

politody - 31 Aug, 2017 - 06:31PM

it's simple... there are a few, just a few, folks on here with manners... but most on here do not know what manners are... and they don't have to demonstrate any manners because they are hiding behind the internet

8 members like this comment.

1146579-Deleted - 30 Aug, 2017 - 11:59AM

Personally I have no issue with not replying
However, when a photo request is sent it should be good manners if nothing more to reciprocate
This does not always happen

4 members like this comment.

1048753-Deleted - 28 Aug, 2017 - 09:21AM

I am always polite. If someone gives me their password and I either don't fancy them or think they're not my type I always courteously wish them well on their journey. Kindness I feel is a much underestimated quality and should be frequently used on this site.

The only time I am strident is when a man's first approach is this "password please" -this is so damn rude and they get treated with the ascerbic response they deserve. So yes,if someone says how are you then I reply politely, always.

7 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 27 Aug, 2017 - 03:59PM

Its only very occasionally that I do not reply.

I am never sure if a no thank you, is better than no reply, I think it depends on the recipients mood, or latest experience.

I generally reply to all even if its a no thank you, if they wish to debate anything, that is when I may go silent....

7 members like this comment.

secret.wish - 27 Aug, 2017 - 12:15PM

Manners cost very little but the end result is the same.. forget it and move on. The one that gets me is when THEY make the first move, you reply and then get blanked.. that's just odd

7 members like this comment.

smooth operator - 26 Aug, 2017 - 01:27PM

Re Raquel 12
Your wish may well be granted!

The letter writer raises a very valid and fair point.
Whilst we can all appreciate that many Ladies will be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of replies that a well appointed profile clearly generates.

It is a question of reasonable values surely
that where a member of either sex has clearly taken the time to write a well composed and considered opening message
it is morally right to reply even if your initial gut reaction is no thanks.

3 members like this comment.

The Actress - 25 Aug, 2017 - 08:45PM

It's a curious thing this world of ours which begins behind a laptop/phone screen!

If a member is so besieged by responses (as so often happens to new members), then all they have to do is compose a few pleasant "thanks but no thanks" messages, chose an appropriate one. and cut'n'paste it as required!

People! Its the kindest way, and and unless you forget to change the name (don't shake your head in disbelief, I got one like that, once), honour is satisfied.

I've been told I write the best rejection letters, but that's only because I'm too old to get that many in the first place; and the ones I DO get are often from gentlemen young enough to be my sons -- (you know who you are)!! LOL

So Ladies and Gentlemen, do not take offence. If a person rejects you carelessly, would you REALLY want to know that person anyway??

Or did you have a narrow escape??

3 members like this comment.

Perfect moments - 25 Aug, 2017 - 05:57PM

I think that it is not just the women. Some of the men are just as ignorant. Just simple no thank you goes a long way.

10 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 25 Aug, 2017 - 11:18AM

I totally agree with you and I have to say that I have found exactly the same from the men ... especially those who say "please send a message" ... when you do, they read it but don't bother to reply.

Both sexes are guilty of this behaviour!

9 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 25 Aug, 2017 - 10:06AM

Oh, thrilled there are new letters, but we've been here before with this one, please.

So, you do expect replies all the time?? Really? In the real world, we don't get replies from business people, jobs we have applied for and have been rejected, it's a guess world. Ok, ok, ok, I'm not saying this is right. It's not decent behaviour at all. However, considering what this site is for, let's be a little flexible? Many- I mean MANY- many guys just say they only wish for a reply, even if it's a rejection. Well it's a lie! When they do get one and it's not what they want to hear, they get soooo offended, not to mention those who even get angry and act rude. If a woman does that, she's clingy, crazy, borderline etc. And that only after a couple of messages exchanged!! Shush! Give us a break!

I do occasionally contact some men and have not received replies either. So what?? The more you get desperate, the less you will get. If your photo has been rejected, work on it!

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