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Letters to Sara

Spare Skin

I met a man on here who had very low self esteem as he had lost loads of weight which ended up loose sagging skin.It wasnt very nice to look at but we got on really well also he had ginger hair which a lot of women dont seem to like eitherJust like to know your opinion would loose baggy skin put you of?

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Comments (19)

SunshineForever - 29 Mar, 2020 - 08:45PM

I’m not a massive fan but I’d just suggest we could be friends and support him if needed in other ways.
Just think how you’d feel if someone put that out about you? Gutted comes to mind...

2 members like this comment.

Charlie369 - 28 Mar, 2020 - 07:02PM

No not at all. Admittedly that is not my preference, but the way someone makes me feel is far more important. I think most people have body hang-ups. Even those deemed to have "perfect" bodies, so providing you make each other happy and can see past any imperfections then just enjoy your time together and each other.

Browny30 - 28 Mar, 2020 - 10:41AM

I'm struggling to understand why anyone elses opinion matters?
You either like him or you don't. Everyone's on here for their own reasons. Attraction is key to some people and personality is to others. Shouldn't affect your decision.

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Katie276 - 28 Mar, 2020 - 10:30AM

No it wouldn’t we are all human.

Sara Jane - 28 Mar, 2020 - 12:04AM

How judgemental of you ! Does it really matter what colour hair he has or if he has saggy skin !? Do you have saggy skin........ It’s how you get on.

If I were him I would give you the flick ! And find someone that appreciates him for who he is !!

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Blackstockings - 27 Mar, 2020 - 10:10AM

I really don't mind how a person looks.

It's personality all the way with me and if you click all the better.

I do expect cleanliness and the use of a toothbrush though.

Make me laugh and you're a winner.

bringing on back the good times - 27 Mar, 2020 - 01:19AM

Is this REALLY a letter from someone on here? Cannot believe someone would even write this!
Crikey - I really hope he doesn't read Letters to Sara or you will be contributing massively to his continuing low self esteem!... I mean what kind of person even does this?
If he has any sense he will realise that despite spare, loose, baggy skin and ginger hair he is too good for you.
Mean, mean and more Mean

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takenononsense - 26 Mar, 2020 - 10:41PM

You're talking about him in the past, so it seems you are no longer together? You mentioned he had very low self-esteem because of his looks. Are you sure it was not his low self-esteem that has put you off? I agree it's pretty hard to feel attracted to someone who has no confidence. He did well by losing weight, he's a winner, so he has some self-esteem there, but his confidence has been affected, which is natural. Maybe there was no chemistry between you two. Besides, you are not his therapist. If you are not together now because you don't fancy him, what answers are you looking for? The fact you got on well with him could mean you like him as a friend and that's it. If you are not looking for a husband, which is not what this site is for, why waste yours and his time? Are you thinking of getting back together? What for?

Gymfit8 - 26 Mar, 2020 - 09:42PM

None of us are perfect, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My X husband was a red head, I personally don't fancy them but each to their own.

This is for you to decide if you like being naked with him, if not gently move on as another person said.

1 member likes this comment.

RumplesBear - 26 Mar, 2020 - 02:31PM


I was about to say the same thing!

Look, not all men can shrug things off, particularly if they've had characteristics society have told them again and again are undesirable. It's not an "ego" issue, it's being human.

Guaranteed if I said the same about a women, you'd be the first to jump over me about what a piece of work I am.

OrientalAngel - 25 Mar, 2020 - 10:30PM

So... You met a man ON HERE with low self esteem and you feel it is appropriate to discuss this on such a platform.

I'm guessing discretion and empathy are not your best traits.

22 members like this comment.

Gent414 - 25 Mar, 2020 - 06:00PM

Would you rather a bit of loose skin or him still be very overweight?
Good on him for losing it, I say.

3 members like this comment.

Gilthoniel - 25 Mar, 2020 - 05:10PM

I suppose you are in the middle of defining whether or not he is to be a friend or a lover. He is to be praised for losing weight. All sexual attraction starts in the brain and you got on well. You said "he had ginger hair etc" - Never mind what other women like and don't like - I personally find Adrian Dunbar (who was auburn when younger) and Damian Lewis AND Toby Stephens (Maggie Smith's son) all very attractive and although they all dye their hair brown etc for various roles they all could be classified as having naturally auburn/ginger hair. I feel very sorry for this guy with the loose skin. It is a matter for him of course but is there no way for him to save up for the surgery to have it removed ? (when we can access normal medical care once more) I only suggest this to support and increase his self esteem. But underneath it all it is the person that counts and how does he make you feel ? As another person has said, do not give him false hope if you do not feel attracted to him.

1 member likes this comment.

Teicu - 25 Mar, 2020 - 04:00PM

Yes and the ginger hair...just being honest

Dream-seeker - 25 Mar, 2020 - 01:44PM

I personally find it a little disturbing that you are asking an IE community for advice here....what you like or dont like is down to you and you should never be shaped by the opinion of others,. least of all by the mean IQ of an IE audience. It depends on what you want....if you get on really well then go for it. If physically you cant imagine that working for you then you can proceed with the relationship knowing that this will not be part of it. Or else stay as friends and move gently on....

11 members like this comment.

RumplesBear - 25 Mar, 2020 - 01:22PM

You got on well, that's the zinger right there. I know people bleat about attractiveness, but you're going to spend time with this person too; so some sort of chemistry is a must. Unless you're there for a quick bang and bye?

I'm not fat, I'm not as thin as I was. I'm nearly 40 with a family, I'm not going to be idolised next to Grecian statutes. Whatever, I'm fine the way I am.

4 members like this comment.

ComeDanceWithMe - 25 Mar, 2020 - 01:20PM

No. No one has a perfect body. I have some loose baggy skin on my upper arms though am working at it. Fell I'm entitled at my age which is 70.

My 10 years younger lover thinks I'm very sexy and appreciates that I've lost weight and my efforts. Hope to be better still when we can at last get together after this mess.

Sexiness isn't just about looks and body image. as The Actress says you get on really well.

A one time I would have envied you the red hair but not now after an unfortunate experience with a ginger nut husband!

1 member likes this comment.

The Actress - 25 Mar, 2020 - 12:02PM

".........but we got on really well"

Isn't that the important thing? it would be for me! We're supposedly here looking for intimacy, which we're missing elsewhere, if that's good, forget the rest.

Don't let other people tell you what to think; the best lover I ever had, was a flaming redhead, but that was many moons ago, I guess he's grey now, too! (sigh)

4 members like this comment.

Sportster1200L - 25 Mar, 2020 - 11:35AM

Why does it matter what anyone else thinks,? It sounds more like you are actually having reservations about him now that you have seen him naked, which is unfortunate but can't be helped.

If he does not turn you on physically, he may make a good friend, but that is all. Don't lead him on. Its not fair. Ideally you should find a good friend who turns you on. Not easy though is it!

10 members like this comment.

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