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Hi I have been in an exclusive affair with a man on here for a few months. He’s promised me honesty and said he only wants one woman, I’ve just found out he’s set up an account in another name and trying to have more than one on the go, if this was agreed fair enough but I’ve made it clear I want 1 man and he said he wants the same. What should I do?

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Comments (37)

piripiri - 23 Feb, 2020 - 03:48PM

men are like that . one to keep and one for fun

Come 2 bed eyes - 02 Feb, 2020 - 07:41PM

This also happened to me..I chose to move on.
Everyone’s expectations and situations are different. Some are acceptable of the situation and others not.
If you are certain both profiles are him, speak to him about it. Ultimately, you need to decide what you are comfortable and happy with. There is no right or wrong, just what is best for you.

1 member likes this comment.

SunshineForever - 31 Jan, 2020 - 04:35PM

I’d forget him and move on. There’s plenty more fish in the sea!

2 members like this comment.

Dayveed - 28 Jan, 2020 - 12:51AM

Get a flaming reality check! You want honesty on a site designed to encourage the opposite!!

5 members like this comment.

Dreamtime - 27 Jan, 2020 - 05:46PM

What you really mean is what can I do to make him behave the way I wanted him to. The answer is nothing. He is what he is and if that doesn't suit you then walk away. If you're happy sharing, then continue.

3 members like this comment.

chris19389 - 27 Jan, 2020 - 11:37AM

It sounds like ironic advice, but I'd drop him as he's being dishonest and cheating on you.

2 members like this comment.

Fluffgirl - 26 Jan, 2020 - 01:43PM

You promised each other honesty, then mention your findings and be ready to move on if it doesn’t fit your needs.

The best thing about being in an affair, unlike your marriage, you aren’t legally bound to one another. If this guy isn’t the right one for you, surely others out there may suit you better.

1 member likes this comment.

Sweet proposal - 26 Jan, 2020 - 10:33AM

The fix is, just be honest with your IE. If you’re seeking to play the field, say so...if you want a proper traditional affair, say so.
It’s so much easier. There are women on here who are happy to have a ONS, and a man seeking to play the field would appeal.

Why...not? - 25 Jan, 2020 - 04:01PM

Are you all that bothered? If you you like each other and enjoy it so what?

Obviously there are hygiene issues at play but that's your own look out - if you don't play safe you are bonkers anyway.

If you are bothered then move on - simples!

1 member likes this comment.

Caravaggia - 25 Jan, 2020 - 02:24PM

I am fascinated how you know he has set up another account. Do you know this for definite or is it a strong suspicion ? Have you created a different profile too and trapped him in conversation or by him sharing his pics and seeing it truly is him ? Whatever the case it is a good idea to call it a day now. For whatever reason he feels he needs more and that is hurtful to you. Yes it will be painful but better to be hurt now and get over it than be one of many women on the go AND he is not the man you thought he was in any case. My advice is to look for a really busy businessman who will only have time for the cliched "one special lady " !!!

2 members like this comment.

Timeowt - 24 Jan, 2020 - 09:14PM

He should think himself lucky he found one. You need to work at Bletchley Park to get into anyone’s knickers on here!

4 members like this comment.

1358418-Deleted - 24 Jan, 2020 - 08:12PM

Oh hi I just found out my ie was doing the same, I thought for a while he was because our messages got less and less so I came back on here and here he was. Could be the same man 😂

1 member likes this comment.

epictravel - 24 Jan, 2020 - 06:21PM

Since you asked, I would suggested ending it. More the partners, higher the chance of your bits and pieces mating an esteedee.

TheArtist2020 - 23 Jan, 2020 - 11:45PM

Id be happy with one lady tbh having just joined x

2 members like this comment.

rarity23 - 23 Jan, 2020 - 11:37PM

Move on, would be my advice...there should be trust with your partner in crime.

This may be a cheating site, but come on guys show these ladies some respect.

2 members like this comment.

Oceane1 - 23 Jan, 2020 - 09:27PM

someone has already pointed out it's unlikely he'll succeed as the odds are against him... but the point is he's being dishonest and disrespectful to you in doing this ...

It's probably better to just block him and move on, it's more than likely that if you don't give him a reason for blocking him and just do it, that he'll contact you with his 2nd profile, if he does you can confront him and report him...

But I really wouldn't waste anymore of your time on him than you need to...
Good luck x

1 member likes this comment.

1359109-Scheduled For Deletion - 23 Jan, 2020 - 07:36PM

I have to agree with Secret Lover 79. You set the ground rules and they have been broken, so why ask what to do?

I have to throw my hat in the ring here though. The key is in the title of this web site "illicit". By joining this site it suggests you are already aware you are doing something you should not. So why be surprised when exactly that happens? Personally I do not see the point in being dishonest to anyone on here. That is tiresome and a paradox, being dishonest to join a site....in order to continue being dishonest!!

1 member likes this comment.

Teicu - 23 Jan, 2020 - 06:24PM

What a man says and want a man actually wants are two very separate things.
Confront him, ditch him and start again

1 member likes this comment.

Blkfist3r - 23 Jan, 2020 - 12:51PM

If it's not what you agreed and he won't be honest, I wouldn't waste my precious time on him.

3 members like this comment.

Blkfist3r - 23 Jan, 2020 - 12:50PM

A quick interlude needs only 30 mins, anything is possible if you want it! My lover has a ludicrous amount of women/men. I feel he's the rare exception though. his wife has caught him and after a period of laying low, and ever so slightly scaling back he's returned to the sexual saddle.
He keeps clear boundaries and if anyone wants more he cuts them loose.
I feel he doesn't tell the others and what he really does as they can't deal with it. I'm very open and find it hard occasionally so the mainstream would struggle. As long as there is respect and honest, safe sex, and emotional intelligence it's all good....some of the few things men find hard to do though. I've only met a handful that could and it was amazing.

EbonyDuBois33 - 22 Jan, 2020 - 08:25PM

Honor your own standards and move on.

1 member likes this comment.

Serialencounter - 22 Jan, 2020 - 01:32PM

If I considered the relationship was drawing to its inevitable conclusion ie it ends as it must do at some point, I would also be preparing the ground ahead and seeking out potential partners.

Being a player is more myth than reality. For married folk it's difficult enough to handle one affair, so any more is fairly unlikely.

11 members like this comment.

Man4U2019 - 22 Jan, 2020 - 10:14AM

I wouldn’t be surprised if he has set up another account. I’m struggling to find a genuine guy on here. I feel that the problem is that they love the flirting and feeling wanted. I met a lovely guy a few months ago, we hit it off really well, he declared that he wanted to see me weekly, we met three weeks later, again it was good. He then went a bit quiet and when I asked if he was still interested he said yes, but was busy with work. I soon realised I was being mugged off and wasn’t the one so brushed myself off and went back on IE, initially to change my profile ready to start again in the new year. However whilst doing so chatted to a lovely guy, we chatted, met, hit it off, had a few dates, the attraction was sooo intense we both felt the same. Christmas hit, and afterwards he got cold feet and was worried about getting caught. We chatted, he wanted to meet again. He cancelled and ghosted me. I thought he was genuine, the nicest guy ever, now I think not and he is a player maybe!! Just a gut feeling

Borderline847 - 22 Jan, 2020 - 01:37AM

Well almost everyone on here is cheating someone so why should he not cheat on you too.I wouldn’t trust anyone on here to be telling the truth and I too am guilty of that.
He is lucky to have the time to date multiple ladies. In my experience it is difficult for anyone to meet at all. They are too tied to the apron strings!!

8 members like this comment.

1355430-Deleted - 21 Jan, 2020 - 11:11PM

He's only doing what other men and women do.

If you don't like that, you know where to go :-)

4 members like this comment.

Classycougar - 21 Jan, 2020 - 10:38PM

How do you know he’s set up another account?

Confront him and see if he squirms....you need to see the look in his eyes to know if he’s lying!

6 members like this comment.

1343789-Deleted - 21 Jan, 2020 - 10:23PM

Clearly he is a bounder and you should dump him.

3 members like this comment.

Sweet proposal - 21 Jan, 2020 - 09:58PM

Ok you do know men actually pay to use this site right? Are you sure he’s the same person?
Having said that, I cannot believe you are asking what you should do!
Run as fast as you can! Someone who doesn’t know the phrase ‘honour amongst thieves’ is not worth your time.

9 members like this comment.

1339339-Deleted - 21 Jan, 2020 - 07:54PM

If irs not what you want, move on
You both discussed your expectations at the start, and he had agreed with you for whatever his own reasons,were you now find out that's not true on his part and you both want different things from an affair so don't settle as resentment sets in,

does he know you know ?
how did you find out ?
says to me he is a "player" wanting multiple liaisons, which is fine but being honest is the key and he hasn't been
Deal breaker for me

3 members like this comment.

Quaintrelle - 21 Jan, 2020 - 07:47PM

Unfortunately this is just the way a lot of people operate on here. Always looking for something better, more exciting etc.
Don’t get bitter or annoyed about it, tell him you know, be open, honest and civil from your side.
If you can’t put up with it, then end it. Do be aware that the next one might do the same.
Rare to find a one-woman-man on here after all.
Best you can hope for is a straight talking one.

2 members like this comment.

Happygolucky24 - 21 Jan, 2020 - 07:19PM

Leave his sorry arse! Been there done that got the T-shirt! Hard to find one that only wants one woman on here I’m afraid! Reality is they are cheating on their wives so basically how are we exempt?! We aren’t! Good luck x

1 member likes this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 21 Jan, 2020 - 03:25PM

Provided you are a hundred percent sure it is the same person, surely you can either confront him head on and ditch him OR say nothing and carry on. Depends on how much you want to be with him?

3 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 21 Jan, 2020 - 03:04PM

You 'thought' you were in an exclusive affair with a man (and his wife).

Quoting someone else.

Short answer, move on
Long answer , now listen ... say a polite goodbye and move on

I will spare you the lecture I give any man who tries to dictate my social time and who they will graciously permit me to see!
That is called marriage and those on here are generally not doing that anyway!

Enjoy :-)

2 members like this comment.

coffeetime - 21 Jan, 2020 - 02:34PM

There's not alot you can do really as this is a site for affairs, so everyone one is lying to their partner.
It's just the name of the game here..just make sure you use protection so that you don't pick up any diseases.
If you can't accept it, best to walk away

1 member likes this comment.

Secret Lover 79 - 21 Jan, 2020 - 01:21PM

Do you really need to ask?

4 members like this comment.

1358330-Deleted - 21 Jan, 2020 - 10:59AM

Well that is always a risk with this sort of site. I have an agreement with someone on here that if he was with anyone else he would tell me but that's mainly for safety.
If you know this is happening then you should discuss it with him with the risk that he will end it or block or ghost you.

3 members like this comment.

Cuteness73 - 21 Jan, 2020 - 09:34AM

How did you find out?

Also, tell him you know. Talk to him.

3 members like this comment.

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