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Letters


Letters to Sara

What is this thing?

I've come back to this site again after being here in 2016, and it hasn't
changed much, I had a different profile back then, this time it's more open
and honest, and I've had many more views and more conversations in a short
period of time. My question is, and I reach out to the more experienced of
you out there...what is this thing that happens where you chat for a while
all is going great then communication just stops?, no explanation, no
reason or anything to say why, you can see that your messages get read,
but no courtesy message to say you're not for me, I'm a very easy guy to
get on with, always respectful, courteous and not an ugly chap, I just
don't get it, I thought we were here to have the passion and fulfill the
missing part of our love lives.... I personally have taken the decision to
be here after years of thinking about it, and trying to work through this
in my relationship, but still not got the fulfillment from my partner, like
I'm sure most others here, I thought we were supposed to be adults here.

36 members like this.

Comments (76)

affair to remember - 15 Dec, 2019 - 03:45PM

no condom no sex easy really

theartoftouch - 13 Dec, 2019 - 05:16PM

@ExocticOrchid: Impressive indeed and correct. Thx to female friend I did not commit suicide at the time. Still, if I would do so then my note/blog would contain all names involved, and an apology to my partner. But I agree, why be surprised about lying in the age of lying. I do defend the right to disagree being subjected to possible STDs, because someone has multiple contacts of a dangerous kind with more than one man (while that was not agreed), or because when confronted their response is utter contempt for the other person's (and partner) physical and mental well-being. I am a bit perturbed that everyone condemned me in the first round (rightly so) but that there were no condemnations in the 2nd round. Pretty telling isn't it?
Finally, don't run away when you are finished with someone: have a coffee & arrange a decent closure eye-2-eye; that is mature, is what I had proposed every time, which was met with contempt and threats by the authorities.

Raquel12 - 09 Dec, 2019 - 01:04PM

RumplesBear - 07 Dec, 2019 - 05:27PM
aww, that's sweet! so, if we didn't live so far from each other...x you'd be pleasantly surprised.

RumplesBear - 07 Dec, 2019 - 05:27PM

Raquel

Tis a shame indeed, and you're certainly not. Have a pleasant evening.

1 member likes this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 06 Dec, 2019 - 04:01PM

Raquel12 - 05 Dec, 2019 - 10:34PM
"That I was the woman he was talking about, lol! I could be..."

Indeed! ;-)

Reef7765 - 06 Dec, 2019 - 12:05PM

I am having a quiet day at work, the letters page with some popcorn is great !

2 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 05 Dec, 2019 - 10:34PM

ExoticOrchid
I was expecting you would say that, haha! That I was the woman he was talking about, lol! I could be...

ExoticOrchid - 05 Dec, 2019 - 11:56AM

Raquel12 - 04 Dec, 2019 - 12:12PM

Calm down honey!!!

I don't know why you are getting so worked up over theartoftouch … as you admitted, I was putting forward what I understood to be the situation *as presented here* … nothing more, nothing less. I'm really not bothered whether it is true or not. I take everything here with a big pinch of salt!

Oh my goodness, you're not the woman theartoftouch is talking about, are you??? That might explain your reaction to the whole thing!

3 members like this comment.

Secret Lover 79 - 04 Dec, 2019 - 07:44PM

Raquel 12

You are quite right that ghosting is bad manners.
My point was that i hear so many men on here Man bleating about minor things like ghosting, their pics not being liked, cant get a meet etc...how would those snowflakes cope with something really bad like A O Touches experience!?
I have to agree with Cuteness 73 first comments about the subject letter.

1 member likes this comment.

Raquel12 - 04 Dec, 2019 - 12:14PM

Interm - 03 Dec, 2019 - 05:38PM

You're right.

1 member likes this comment.

Raquel12 - 04 Dec, 2019 - 12:12PM

ExoticOrchid - 03 Dec, 2019 - 11:38AM
You're clever. I know you are only saying what you understood from his post, not what you believe. But it seems you have believed him, otherwise why bother to explain what was clearly his goal, which is to deny what he said by saying he was only trying to get a reaction? You can deny it or not, but do you really believe he was 'trying' to see our reaction?? Why would he do that? To give him a bad name amongst women here? I know he's the only one who can answer that, but whatever he says from now on will be full of violins playing. Poor theartof-lies! He's scarred for life because of this evil woman he wanted to protect so much he blamed himself for all her bad deeds, lol. Oh, I see! He might be an anthropologist. But they usually keep quiet for a while after one experiment, so they take notes first. Or maybe he's a writer! aaah, that explains the endless interaction and twists.

Seriously, EO? You can do better!

3 members like this comment.

theartoftouch - 03 Dec, 2019 - 06:13PM

@Midnightincantation My original post was false just 2 see how people would react; my 2nd post for Raquel12 what happened to me by a deceiving female. Quite unpleasant to the extent that 1yr after the deceit confusion ruled, in yr 2 I realised what bothered me was the utter contempt displayed (is usually what victims of abuse bothers most the powerlessness and the contempt displayed by the people who wield that power; the female knew I was sensitive wrt deceit given information we had shared as [disingenuous as it turned out] friends), yr 3 I wanted to commit suicide (and someone who I met on IE as a friend prevented that in parts; see also BBC documentary on male suicide -it is very good), and in yr 4 I joined several clubs as pastime. Not a laughing matter really; tried to get CBT from NHS, which was so stupid and ineffective that it actually made me laugh, in a way. What also bothers a lot of people is when relationships have no closure, and it usually requires a bit of talking. Was bluntly refused.

1 member likes this comment.

1344600-Deleted - 03 Dec, 2019 - 05:38PM

who did what in the end?

Who gives a ....

4 members like this comment.

affair to remember - 03 Dec, 2019 - 02:52PM

theartoftouch ...WTAF are you on about, your story chances with the wind direction, how can you be so mixed up, can not follow your meaning at all, BS ME THINKS

5 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 03 Dec, 2019 - 11:38AM

To all the confused.coms

From what I can see:

- theartoftouch posted the original comment which to all intents and purposes was shockingly sexist hence very provocative, especially in today's #metoo era
- he then posts a second comment saying he had deliberately posted the first comment as a man to see what kind of reaction it would elicit
- his next comment was the original post BUT with the correct gender

So, it would appear that it was him who was treated badly by his then IE.
Anyway, that's how I understood it.

5 members like this comment.

Midnightincantation - 03 Dec, 2019 - 12:58AM

theartoftouch. You are so hostile..but so defensive? you state all this now..but didnt in your original post..im lost.

4 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 02 Dec, 2019 - 04:19PM

@theartoftouch or theartofconfusion???

who did what in the end?

3 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 02 Dec, 2019 - 04:11PM

RumplesBear
My bad! I got it now :) If you didn't live so far, I'd invite you to the cinema, popcorn included. But then again, I think I'm too old for you. Oh well!

2 members like this comment.

Tantalising - 02 Dec, 2019 - 03:50PM

THE ART OF TOUCH Like Elvis I hope he has left the building

2 members like this comment.

HardBrexiteer - 02 Dec, 2019 - 03:33PM

I have a friend who met a man on here and a few years later finds them very happily married, but she admitted that she had to kiss an awful lot of frogs before she found her prince, and that I fear is par for the course for both sexes. From my experience of being on here for a while some time ago I would offer the following. If someone just stops communicating forget them, they're not worth bothering with. But if after a little contact something seems promising ask the other person outright whether there's anything in their profile that isn't true. Say that you don't mind little white lies (if you don't, that is). If they assure you it's all true, press for a meeting. If they come up with all sorts of excuses why they can't, ditch them, something is wrong. But it's when you've started something that you need to be most careful. Don't drop your guard. In particular be on the lookout for control freaks and gold diggers. That's cynical, but unfortunately it's how things are.

3 members like this comment.

takenononsense - 02 Dec, 2019 - 01:18PM

To the artoftouch
Sorry, it seems you have changed your whole original post in response to some members. Not being mean, I'm just trying to understand. I see you reversed the story, true. Is that what you mean by reversed roles? Or reversed storyline? It doesn't make sense. On face value, your first story version shows a rather obnoxious chauvinist. I mean, on face value, considering the first version. Nothing there indicates the lady wronged you. Ok, she sounded a bit silly, annoying, clingy, unprepared for a site like this. You have a point there. We do what we want, with whom we want here, just make it clear to one another. But the bottom line is that your vocabulary denotes a very tactless man with no respect for women who are here. Then you changed your story. That's what we can see. On face value!

3 members like this comment.

1349198-Deleted - 01 Dec, 2019 - 07:55PM

Sadly its called normal behaviour for a lot of internet users but usually out means they arent interested and have found someone else. Loyalty is a thing if the past sadly.

1 member likes this comment.

theartoftouch - 30 Nov, 2019 - 05:51PM

@Raquel12: I spell out what reversal means for you:
'She had me going, satisfying her orally time after time after a lot of instruction, taking 15-30min at a time.
It left me exhausted (sure she gave me something but far less so as I was spent). I gave her good family advice as well (endless). Just to ensure a seamless transition without any breaks she had started looking around further while the affair was still going strong. You know, a woman needs to be satisfied and all that. Whether she already met and did someone else, 2 for the price of one, I let you decide, I do not know; but her response was "so what" in CAPITALS (usually indicative ...)? -She had advertised with 1-2-1 only and did so in all her profiles thereafter. Sure I give it to you: a good con-artist must be appreciated but one which potentially leaves an STD trace or that fear, and does no care, no thank you, or may that is fine for some

But as Freyja [nice name btw] says: maybe all part of this side then [err on purpose]? Again: bon cha

theartoftouch - 30 Nov, 2019 - 05:39PM

@ Freyja
Agree. Although with straight honesty that would not be the case. Best of luck.

theartoftouch - 30 Nov, 2019 - 05:37PM

@ are you for real
If I was that man, then I would make a new quite different profile, in a nearby city, et cetera and nobody would notice. A brilliant profile and I would be very polite, pleasant and calm till I, if I was that man, would strike again, and again and again. When you have that deceiving streak, I do not, you won't get caught.
Most easy to do for the females of course which they do; have many ghosts seen pass by.
Won't get laid but not for reasons you quote: I simply do not trust anyone anymore; game over; everyone is an asshole till proven otherwise; quite unpleasant; rationally wrong but the emotional record is stuck and worse, I known it is; so I am not laughing or feeling any gratification. Why on Earth would I? Best of luck to you all.

1344600-Deleted - 29 Nov, 2019 - 04:43PM

@ Altostratus - you've only listed some of the 'hazards' of a male using this site.

Why hold back!

1 member likes this comment.

RumplesBear - 29 Nov, 2019 - 03:15PM

Oh Raquel, that was so cute, it warmed my heart on this chilli day.

Funny, as your previous message, while different in content has a similar message to the dear poster.

Must just be a stressful Friday. Don't worry, it'll pass.

2 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 29 Nov, 2019 - 09:10AM

Secret Lover 79:
You said:
'He wasn't bleating about something minor like being ghosted or his messages not being replied to -'

Because it seems perfectly acceptable these days to ghost or not to reply to messages. And I don't mean here on this site. I am talking about life in general, in relationships, businesses, it seems it's ok not to reply to anything or to ghost, which still shocks me.

Now, about theartoftouch. By what he describes in his comment, do you really think he had a bad experience that deeply affected him????? Oh, maybe he did, I don't dispute that, but I admire your sensibility to read between the lines, wow! Because his comment does not, by any means, gives the general impression he suffered a lot as a result of his experience.

1 member likes this comment.

Raquel12 - 29 Nov, 2019 - 08:57AM

I meant in 28 Nov, 2019 - 11:55PM :

'Read yourself again! If that was seriously spoken, we rest our case.'

Correction: I rest my case, as I shouldn't answer for the other females or males here.

Raquel12 - 29 Nov, 2019 - 12:00AM

RumplesBear - 26 Nov, 2019 - 10:37AM
Oh please, you're part of the popcorn team, haha! There is always one! But the real McCoy's keep quiet and have a great selection. Salted or sweet, darling? Ask them.

2 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 28 Nov, 2019 - 11:55PM

theartoftouch - 24 Nov, 2019 - 01:08PM

The art of non-touch but too touchy and touch-hard
Please, what is this thing? Are you kidding us? haha, it's laughable! Listen to yourself:

'What I described was namely exactly the opposite, with male and female roles reversed, so I was the victim as male and a female did to me what I described in exactly, but in an obvious gender-role reversed manner.'

Wow! Were you the victim? Don't even get us started with sexism! Listen to your own words:
'I had her going, satisfying me orally time after time after a lot of instruction.
It left her exhausted (sure I did my job too but less so). She gave me good family advice as well. Just to ensure a seamless transition without any breaks I had started looking around further while the affair was still going strong. You know, a man needs to be satisfied and all that..Whether I already met and did someone else, 2 for the price of one, I let you decide....'

Read yourself again! If that was seriously spoken, we rest o

5 members like this comment.

Reef7765 - 28 Nov, 2019 - 08:25PM

You have a life outside of this site, this site is for extra curricular activities ... no one owes anything to anybody, people come, people go .... for various reasons, some will explain, others wont .. nothing is owed.

My take ... how I’ve approached my various times on and off here ...

2 members like this comment.

Altostratus - 28 Nov, 2019 - 01:49PM

Outside London and the South East there are very few women on here anyway. You have to have a thick skin as a man using this site as the utterly charmless, rude and discourteous women are in the majority of those few.

3 members like this comment.

Secret Lover 79 - 28 Nov, 2019 - 07:33AM

Are you for real....I find your insult to art of touch distasteful.

He wasn't bleating about something minor like being ghosted or his messages not being replied to - he described a very bad personal experience on here that obviously affected him.

I say credit to him for bouncing back after that.

1 member likes this comment.

Freyja - 27 Nov, 2019 - 11:43PM

@ art of touch
I think maybe this sort of site is not the place for you
I have read your posts and your profile and I think you need something a site like this can not provide.

3 members like this comment.

Cuteness73 - 27 Nov, 2019 - 08:34PM

Be kind but be real.

Simple really.

Solidarity with my sisters.

3 members like this comment.

Tantalising - 27 Nov, 2019 - 07:00PM

theartoftouch

Needed an A to Z to follows your latest missive. Are you having a laugh as it seems that way?

1 member likes this comment.

1000748-Deleted - 27 Nov, 2019 - 03:21PM

The comms usually stop as the person at the other end is talking to multiple members and selects one to progress and therefore drops other conversations. Sometimes its just that the conversation fizzles out as one party isn't moving fast enough or desires diverge.

GerriSpice - 27 Nov, 2019 - 11:00AM

This thread is such a load of waffle. Snowflakes spring to mind ... although is that not supposed to be the millennial generation!!

Ltd Editions - 27 Nov, 2019 - 09:59AM

You are dealing with people sometimes there is no way to fathom the way others think!

Thefuturesbright - 27 Nov, 2019 - 07:38AM

This is because it’s the women who normally do the choosing. That is by far the best way in this modern Me to era.
I don’t have much success here because ,one I don’t know how to flirt in this era and two I’m far to old for most women.. I’m not complaining about people or the site but my fantasies and expectations are not quite in line with reality.
Patience is the answer and maybe just maybe that glorious friendship and physical affair might happen. This is not about just getting laid it about that once in a life time event to plug that gap that can happen to any human.

A_J1358 - 26 Nov, 2019 - 10:56AM

What we are seeing, is the inadequacy of written communication, especially of the two thumbs on a phone variety, to express what we really mean. We often try to be amusing by saying something 'tongue-in- cheek' and it has entirely the opposite effect. It becomes an insult when the recipient does not twig. We often speak with the real meaning 'between the lines', again we don't know if the recipient has got it unless we can read it in facial expression and NVC. There is no substitute for actual face to face communication. Try to meet as soon as possible. It can short cut a lot of wasted thumb work at best, and the risk of being blocked at worst, as has happened to me.

1 member likes this comment.

RumplesBear - 26 Nov, 2019 - 10:37AM

Lots of glass egos knocking about, didn't realize so many delicate people were here.

Honestly, what next? Crying in a corner? Pony up and try again, and understand you're a bit like marmite.

5 members like this comment.

are you for real - 25 Nov, 2019 - 02:52PM

theartoftouch...you asked im I a prick? I stand by my answer.

6 members like this comment.

1343159-Deleted - 25 Nov, 2019 - 02:18PM

Everyone is different X

1 member likes this comment.

theartoftouch - 24 Nov, 2019 - 01:08PM

Amazing comments, exactly as I thought they would be.

What I described was namely exactly the opposite, with male and female roles reversed, so I was the victim as male and a female did to me what I described in exactly, but in an obvious gender-role reversed manner. And I am still completely devasted by the incident, despite superficially functioning fine, the internal turmoil at times is complete. If you actually read my profile you likely would have noticed something odd between the comment below and the profile.

So thank you so much for the harsh comments, because if you are any decent, which I do not expect, than your comments do actually apply to the female in question. Othrwise, when you think males should endure such duress (or are assholes in the first place), then you are, simpy put, sexist. Of course, let us hope, and I have little hope after the incident, that those who were harsh to me in the first instant are not sexists.

Looking forward to the commets now!

3 members like this comment.

Mannie07 - 24 Nov, 2019 - 10:46AM

Men should just accept that they're not every woman's dream. When you reject their advances, they insult you. This site is for grown ups, not little boys.

4 members like this comment.

Secret Lover 79 - 22 Nov, 2019 - 08:06PM

Christ ! I'm assuming Art of touches comment was a joke one right?!

Reading a few of the comments from some of the whining guys on here always makes me laugh.
Grow a pair ffs !

3 members like this comment.

Niloasp - 21 Nov, 2019 - 09:36PM

The possible options are: (a) She does not find you attractive; (b) She has had a better offer; (c) She has changed her mind in general; or (d) You said something that came over a little strong and it put her off. I don't think it is really appropriate to tell somebody you find them unattractive, or that you had a better offer elsewhere, or that they said or did something that made you want to throw up. If she has changed her mind in general, then OK, I guess maybe it would be courteous, but if she has suddenly had a panic attack over the whole thing, she is not likely to want to remain in contact with ANYONE. If somebody does not message you, it means they have moved on, one way or another, and my view of that is that how life is. People move on. If somebody does not show interest, then they are not interested, and the reason why is unimportant. If you really click with somebody, they will not do this. If they do ignore you, then you never really clicked. I would not take it to heart.

Cliff Booth - 20 Nov, 2019 - 07:07PM

Quickest way to stop any conversation on here is to give someone your password . Surely we all know that don't we ?

15 members like this comment.

takenononsense - 20 Nov, 2019 - 08:45AM

Amorecbar - 17 Nov, 2019 - 12:44AM
I don't know about you, but many men will carry on responding on here without fail. I said 'on here, ' as long as they like the lady's photo. Chase, chase, chase, you are all gentlemen on the chase!

1 member likes this comment.

Tantalising - 19 Nov, 2019 - 03:42PM

Well 'the art of touch' thank goodness my path has never crossed with yours just reading your post fills me with horrors

8 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 19 Nov, 2019 - 02:38PM

@ theartoftouch - 16 Nov, 2019 - 11:

I second Secondhand Rose. Reading your comment was like speeding on a road where the max speed limit is 40mph, yet you're going 120, skidding away and crashing badly. The notion, the notion!

4 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 18 Nov, 2019 - 06:32PM

Secondhand Rose
I'd like to think his tongue was firmly in his cheek when he sent in that comment.

On the other hand, he did say he was keen to meet Cuteness73 ... hmmm 🤔

5 members like this comment.

are you for real - 18 Nov, 2019 - 05:31PM

art of touch..i doubt you will get laid on here , yes you are a prick .

12 members like this comment.

Romeostud - 18 Nov, 2019 - 02:55PM

@ Wildeside,

Not looking for a porn star, not all us men are the same.
I treat women with respect, make them laugh and hold the door open for them.
I so far come across a wide spectrum of women on this site from the polite and straight talking to people who have lost their keyboards.
Photos can't do justice to a profile, you can't tell body shape, body language, tone of voice. Unless a face is a total turn off, people should just be a bit more curious.
Anyone got a link for photoshop ;)

1 member likes this comment.

Secondhand Rose - 18 Nov, 2019 - 10:32AM

@ theartoftouch - 16 Nov, 2019 - 11:

Are you for real????

21 members like this comment.

Wildeside - 17 Nov, 2019 - 07:22AM

I love this post! Women are catching up and good for them. Men on here have no manners, they engage in conversations till they get the password and then, "You're not my type."

I would encourage women to do it more to men so in the future they will change their behaviour. Are the men on here looking for a porn star?

13 members like this comment.

Amorecbar - 17 Nov, 2019 - 12:44AM

Like you I have been very surprised how many ladies read my messages but do not reply.

I would far prefer to get a message "Sorry but I don't think it would work. Good luck" than just be ignored.

I reply to every message I receive.

6 members like this comment.

Altostratus - 17 Nov, 2019 - 12:13AM

Cutess73.
Not cute at at all

5 members like this comment.

theartoftouch - 16 Nov, 2019 - 11:38PM

I just finished an affair or rather she did.
I had her going, satisfying me orally time after time after a lot of instruction.
It left her exhausted (sure I did my job too but less so). She gave me good family advice as well
Just to ensure a seamless transition without any breaks I had started looking around further
while the affair was still going strong. You know, a man needs to be satisfied and all that..
Whether I already met and did someone else, 2 for the price of one, I let you decide.
She finds out, is really angry, what I did was dangerous, chance of STDs (we had unprotected etc).
I say: you are already cheating, so what, we can't care really about another. Now she has a nervous
breakdown etc. Should I feel guilty? Am I prick? I don't think so; anything goes, right.
I have no STDs but even I had, it is her fault for cheating, right? What do you think?

1 member likes this comment.

Ayleen - 16 Nov, 2019 - 10:13PM

I personally think a lack of response IS a response? And it is a preferred option to being told blatantly “I don’t fancy you”?...

5 members like this comment.

Wheels1960 - 16 Nov, 2019 - 01:02PM

I think some women an men on only on here for a little light relief pardon the pun lol. But no it's extremely rude to do that. I think they get scared about the meet ups. Have met two ok they are not for me no chemistry but I did wish them well. We're not all rude

2 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 16 Nov, 2019 - 12:06PM

If you are just talking about the site before you meet anyone, this kind of behaviour is normal and I'd risk say there's nothing wrong with suddenly stop replying. Get over it! Not nice? I agree, not nice, but who says we have to be nice all the time and everywhere? I've paid a high price for being nice and misinterpreted for annoying, stupid, fake, pretentious, arrogant, you name it. We all have different perceptions of what 'nice' is. Fair? Life is not fair, as the old adage says. However, I agree that as soon as there is further interaction, phones swapped, messages exchanged, calls, even if you haven't met yet, I think replying and saying you do not wish to carry on with contact any longer is a must.

4 members like this comment.

Ayleen - 15 Nov, 2019 - 10:26PM

Guys... I truly don’t understand... would you seriously prefer to be told “you are not my cup of tea “ or to this extent?...
if I don’t get a response- I take it it means a response in itself...

2 members like this comment.

theartoftouch - 14 Nov, 2019 - 08:26PM

I fully agree with Cuteness73: that's the norm here --even though I disagree. Consider this a supermarket of the kind where you take a bite and put it back when you don't like it (gross of course); or go to a different product just to try it all; no commitment, blimey, just fun (your individual fun only of course). When can we meet C73?

4 members like this comment.

Cuteness73 - 14 Nov, 2019 - 06:24PM

Boo hoo

Cry me a river @1951Brian

ExoticOrchid - 14 Nov, 2019 - 06:09PM

Unfortunately it's a common problem here ... there are many men and women here lacking in basic courtesy ... the comment from "cuteness" says it all (there is obviously nothing cute about her, haha).

14 members like this comment.

1951Brian - 14 Nov, 2019 - 01:59PM

Well Miss Cuteness73, I hope that I never meet you. Your comments were absolutely vicious and uncalledfor. I hope you find what you're looking for.

18 members like this comment.

Alexisk8 - 14 Nov, 2019 - 11:50AM

I have had a very similar experience over nearly three months on the site. I have had a couple of conversations and there have been some nice comments re my profile or my photos, but then sudden silence or abrupt rejection. I think that maybe this is because it is a 'buyers market' for females, who get many more responses from men and are therefore able to pick and choose. However, I may be wrong - any ladies out there? What are your experiences? Is IE membership free to women? If so, why does IE need to incentivise women in this way?

4 members like this comment.

HardBrexiteer - 14 Nov, 2019 - 10:48AM

Re- the comment by Cuteness73, what is 'demanding' about expecting courtesy? Courtesy is something to which everyone is entitled unless they have first been discourteous themselves. There are clearly a number of bogus profiles on here (including men pretending to be women as females don't have to pay a subscription) and I suspect those are the most common source of the 'problems'.

12 members like this comment.

Cuteness73 - 13 Nov, 2019 - 07:37PM

You expect too much.
Stop being so entitled.
You come across as demanding.

4 members like this comment.

silverfox64 - 13 Nov, 2019 - 06:01PM

Unfortunately you are not alone with this problem. It has happened to me on several occasions, I just put it down to there being many many players and timewasters on here (men and women) who just view this site as a means to fulfil their warped sense of humour.
There are lots of genuine women on here so keep plugging away, it will happen when you least expect it.

5 members like this comment.

Happyme72 - 13 Nov, 2019 - 05:21PM

Having been on here before I find that sometimes we are just one of several guys that they might be chatting to and eventually they whittle them down and sometimes you make it past the selection process and sometimes you don’t. I give my password out quickly to save any awkwardness but I very rarely get anyone who will reply with a thanks but no thanks, it just tends to be silence which again is fine because after all we know the rules of this game. Personally if I am lucky enough to get a ladies password and I don’t feel an initial attraction then I will always reply, it’s courtesy I believe.
Good luck in your adventures though and I’m sure you will find the perfect lady for you.

7 members like this comment.

1344827-Deleted - 13 Nov, 2019 - 04:12PM

Unfortunately this is a feature not just of modern dating where people end, sometimes quite long and serious relationships by fax e mail or text or probably the worst, ghosting; it's also a feature of the computer age generally which seems to have ditched manners, courtesy and the ability to say
Sorry/it's over/you're not for me/this isn't working/thanks but no thanks
or something similar.
Ghosting and ignoring are rude and childish and you should be grateful that people are showing themselves in their true colours before things get too serious.
Having said the I had an experience similar to the correspondent below where a person went out of contact a few days before an arranged meeting and it turned out that he had been in a bad accident. The meeting is now rearranged for next week :)
A lot seem to think that everyone else has all the time in the world to sit around and wait for meaningful contact and they are the only people having to juggle a life around a secret affair.
Good luck.

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tea_coffee_me_ - 13 Nov, 2019 - 02:47PM

Its normal, can be very annoying however normal.

I know one person went quiet, returned, he had been in a very serious car crash!!

I confess I had a message from someone who I had forgot to reply to, VERY rare for me not to reply to a message, unless I have said, we are not for each other, and they persist.
So not sure if it was accidentally unread and so I missed it or ...

Yes I also expected to be in a place of people, serious and committed, and grown up.
Summary, not everyone here is.

Enjoy :-)

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