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Letters to Sara

Double Messaging?

Just curious as to members views on double, or triple, or even quadruple, messaging. 

For example, back and forth with potential or perhaps current IE and the messaging/email/text conversation goes quiet leaving you hanging with the last message sent. Do you message again and risk the faux pas that is double messaging, or leave it and hope to hear from the person but if you don’t then it’s a hint taken and you’re onto the next? 


5 members like this.

Comments (14)

De Ville - 21 Mar, 2019 - 08:29AM

No reply is a reply in itself, if someone doesn't wish to engage in conversation they don't wish to engage in conversation

stoppress - 19 Mar, 2019 - 11:34AM

My rule is: two unanswered messages means someone has lost interest. I do tend to send a third message however. Something along the Iines of: "It was nice to chat. Have fun."
Politeness costs nothing! Mind you, on a couple of occasions I've done this only to find I've been blocked. Charming

6 members like this comment.

Gentlesoul37 - 18 Mar, 2019 - 06:07PM

It’s hard though when you’ve been mid conversation and then 🤷🏻‍♀️

Specially when you know they’ve been active or have the read the message. Be easier if people are honest and say sorry .....

1 member likes this comment.

Really!!! - 18 Mar, 2019 - 01:06PM

If I send a message and don't get a reply then I wouldn't message someone again.

If I arrange to meet someone and they stop messaging but continue to log in before the meet then I hit the block button - this has happened a few times recently after active messaging and speaking on the phone to se up a meet for the following week the man has then gone silent.

Unfortunately there are too many men were are not genuinely interested in 'affairs' and just want their ego boosted getting women interested in them.

Ozmundo - 17 Mar, 2019 - 03:15PM

If I message someone and they don't reply then o will definitely not send another message as my view is there is always someone who IS genuinely interested and so will reply. I don't spend much time on the site so I will not waste my time re-sending messages.

Bereweeke - 17 Mar, 2019 - 01:23PM

This situation happens whether you meet people online, socially or through work. What ever your age! If you feel you have developed a good connection with the person leave it for a couple of days. You do not know what is happening in their life. A gentleman I knew via IE was in hospital (I did not know this) and when I left a voice message via his work mobile his wife contacted me!! Our friendship had lasted 17 months and I miss him but understand the situation. After a couple of days leave a kind message as to "is everything iOK?" If no response walk away with your head held high. All the best.

RebelDomina - 17 Mar, 2019 - 12:58AM

I think we are all adults here, do whatever you feel comfortable doing. And when you've done your enough, move on!

Pintobeans - 16 Mar, 2019 - 01:23PM

This is really funny and I'm not allowed to say why.

Englishpatient72 - 15 Mar, 2019 - 12:24AM

You should absolutely message again if you know or at least feel that someone has definitely left you hanging! I'd say about two days warrants a quick follow up, of course they could be busy with real life or with other IE possibilities but to not reply at all is a bit rude and it's too common on IE. By all means give them a wee reminder after 2 days.

More than two messages in succession I'd say is stretching the point, if you have no reply after a couple of days and a couple of messages, you have your answer. They went off you, move on. Triple and quadruple messages are desperate.

Triple and quadruple messages in quickfire succession (like in an hour) is fine when you're in the full flow of conversation and stuff occurs to one or both of you, but that's an entirely different kettle of horlicks to your question, I feel.

9 members like this comment.

GreyMaster - 14 Mar, 2019 - 07:33PM

Uhm, mixed views on this one.

I think it all depends on who made the first move ...

If it was me and the conversation has been going well, but then stops I’ll usually give it a few days before renewed contact, and try again.

If it’s the other way round and I’ve been approached, then I assume that my profile has at least been glanced at and that I’m of even peripheral interest. So I’ll always reply, if nothing comes back (and this has happened on a number of occasions) then I’ll try once more, if still nothing, then I just slink off into the shadows with my tail between my legs, and sulk.

The real problem is weeks between a positive response or 3 on both sides and then nothing, I found one today ironically, that had been going really well but I’m not going to appear desperate so sadly I let those go, after all I have a life as well

1 member likes this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 14 Mar, 2019 - 07:18PM

For me it depends.

If a person has not read my profile and or chosen not to follow its instructions…. and expects to chat … waste of both of our time. (There have been exceptions).

If a person has been given and declines the next stage …. then expects to chat … waste of both of our time.

If you have previously organised a meeting, and or stood me up etc… waste of both of our time.

If as others have said that a person has not responded to a perfectly acceptable message, it is so easy to over look a reply, when life can be so busy, taken ill etc, feel free to message again.
Several times I have messaged however they have not gone though and it was a prompt that I replied to. Glitch in the matrix, when possible I try to remember to check message IS on the exchange.

It is easy and reasonable enough to message saying I have not heard from you, hope all is well, just a polite prompt if the previous missed.

Anyone upset at that, move on.

1 member likes this comment.

Serialencounter - 14 Mar, 2019 - 07:48AM

This of course occurs when either man or woman has a pursuit on their hands. The corresponder has either taken on more than they expected, got bored, changed the moment, or simply expired in front of their pc. The latter probably the most likely.

There is nothing you can do, the signal is no longer visible and the raft and it's occupant is adrift on the ocean. Rescue can not be effected.

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1295586-Deleted - 14 Mar, 2019 - 07:20AM

As a woman we tend to get loads of messages so I like to file my messages away into folders. It means that I might read a message and suddenly get caught short with responding, but then it auto files away. I might the forget about it next time I'm logged in. So I'd have no issue with a guy messaging me again.

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Gentlesoul37 - 13 Mar, 2019 - 06:24PM

One extra text seems fine if after a short while or just adding to the previous message. But not like one every hour till they respond. This is from someone who used to do it and realised it made me look desperate especially after had it to myself. Although it’s hard when there is a lot of ghosters on here at times.

4 members like this comment.

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