Fantasists?
Dear Sara,
I am wondering if others are experiencing the same here in IE? I have
noticed that recently there have been a number of men I have spoken to who
sound great on paper, pretty indepth profiles, the usual (not getting the
attention or tenderness at home) story and looking for someone to share
some lovely moments with. We get passed the photo exchange with many saying
they fancied me, think I am lovely etc and I would say the same to. I am
honest and wouldn't waste anyone's time if I didn't. Being here is such a
huge risk for me so it has to feel right (you know what I mean).
We would either chat here or on another messaging platform. A few flirty
messages here and there then boom - tumbleweeds!!! Sometimes I get the odd
"Oh, I am so busy etc" after a while (this can range between 24 hours and a
week) or nothing at all.
This keeps happening and I feel less and less enthusiastic about this (no
judgement please) and disheartened by this. I am on here as I have no sex
and none of the things that go with the intimacy. It is making wonder if
the site is now inhabited by fantasists who don't mind sharing photos, get
a kick out of being fancied but not really interested in anything else? My
question is why go to all that trouble?
I am sure the guys face this as well. Thank you for reading and responses.
60 members like this.
Comments (42)
Joyoflove - 31 Oct, 2019 - 08:18AM Yes... I am a guy, and get this a lot, very frustrating and unnecessary, I do wonder what this site is sometimes, I noticed that there are less on here than 3 years ago, at least back then it seemed possible to meet up with someone, now it's just chat, exchange photos, more chat, mention a meet up or coffee, then.....nothing. I think I'm wasting my time here....
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Costa121 - 16 Aug, 2019 - 09:07PM Sadly I have the same experience with ladies who are upbeat and then vanish or block with no explanation 1 member likes this comment. |
Fungirl84 - 21 Jul, 2019 - 11:38PM I have been getting this myself! Do you know how many dead aunties there have been?! Its amazing really! 3 members like this comment. |
1319135-Deleted - 07 Jul, 2019 - 09:34PM Naughty in NW is correct. That just makes you sound rather hypocritical, Time.is.right.
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Naughty in NW - 29 Mar, 2019 - 09:38PM Time. is.right 9 members like this comment. |
Time.is.right - 28 Mar, 2019 - 01:23PM I've dipped in and out of this site over several years, funny how the same female profiles are still active. 1 member likes this comment. |
1276157-Deleted - 18 Mar, 2019 - 02:05PM Ive been lucky enough to chat and meet 2 nice guys who neither sent or asked for intimate pics of each other ,been so refreshing ! but took a very long time and chats with pervs ,over confident gits etc ,etc .so fingers crossed my search on here is over for the time being ,glad i stuck it out as i nearly gave up on here as was so disheartened .... 7 members like this comment. |
theartoftouch - 10 Mar, 2019 - 04:01PM Maybe read better between the lines. Minefield is a good assessment & question when one wants to spent the time & such. Less enthusiasm I can understand but maybe there is something structurally wrong?
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1279258-Deleted - 09 Mar, 2019 - 06:00PM I am experiencing the same thing.. ladies are really keen.. we can meet tomorrow!! Hooray!! Ah something has come up.. next week!! Okay!! Well actually I can’t do that.. I can’t get to you.. I’ll come to you then.. what do you mean you don’t live there?? Your name isn’t Holly?? Finally my husband will get suspicious if I go out in the evening.. sheesh.! It took 4 weeks to get to this stage.. I have others.. ghosting.. blocking if I seem to ask a not unreasonable question like is your name really Ethel? I am not in the first flush but gawd it was a lot easier 20 years ago.. 20 members like this comment. |
The Actress - 08 Mar, 2019 - 04:55PM This seems to be a recurring question, (note that I didn't say "problem,") 7 members like this comment. |
tea_coffee_me_ - 08 Mar, 2019 - 02:03PM beelle - "The trouble is that "hope springs eternal" and that everyone on here believes that somewhere out there is their 'perfect lover' so people go on looking." 6 members like this comment. |
beelle - 08 Mar, 2019 - 09:20AM In my opinion the whole area is such a minefield that one has to tread very carefully. 6 members like this comment. |
Saralettershere - 05 Mar, 2019 - 01:23PM 》Playtime24 5 members like this comment. |
Playtime24 - 03 Mar, 2019 - 10:20AM This is interesting, but surely if its a recurring issue you may need to look at something within your process of the initial contact to loss of contact. It cant be the case that every guy (who is also within a subscription) just wants to be liked.... I certainly wouldn't pay for that privelage, and I'm certain you'll find numerous men here that experience your issue.change something it might make all the diff
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Serialencounter - 01 Mar, 2019 - 06:49AM I suppose it's a combination of things. 4 members like this comment. |
1287756-Deleted - 28 Feb, 2019 - 04:34PM @NaughtyUKGent 1 member likes this comment. |
ExoticOrchid - 28 Feb, 2019 - 10:20AM NaughtyUKGent - 27 Feb, 2019 - 02:55PM 1 member likes this comment. |
NaughtyUKGent - 27 Feb, 2019 - 02:55PM Indeed men do too. It is one of the most frustrating aspects of this site. I think it would help if you could 'Flag' certain emails or add a personal note to emails so that you can pick up after a few days rather than lose a thread because so many emails are presented in the email tab, both send and received - this creates a huge amount of unwanted clutter, particularly because if you delete emails the message thread then also disappears and nobody's memory is that perfect! 7 members like this comment. |
NaughtyUKGent - 27 Feb, 2019 - 02:50PM Indeed men do too. It is one of the most frustrating aspects of this site. I think it would help if you could 'Flag' certain emails or add a personal note to emails so that you can pick up after a few days rather than lose a thread because so many emails are presented in the email tab, both send and received - this creates a huge amount of unwanted clutter, particularly because if you delete emails the message thread then also disappears and nobody's memory is that perfect!
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1284502-Deleted - 27 Feb, 2019 - 12:55PM I think that part of the problem, is communication speed to be more specific a lack there off. 5 members like this comment. |
ExoticOrchid - 27 Feb, 2019 - 12:46PM Saralettershere - 26 Feb, 2019 - 03:02PM 1 member likes this comment. |
1294760-Deleted - 26 Feb, 2019 - 08:10PM I have found a lot of guys on here just want to chat and collect photo passwords and at the moment I am finding the site quite disappointing to be honest. 10 members like this comment. |
1118221-Deleted - 26 Feb, 2019 - 07:28PM I couldn't agree more. Two years ago, when I first joined the site, I found that most guys, having first exchanged pics, wanted to meet up pretty quickly. Most said they appreciated finding a woman who wanted to meet up rather than engaging in a lot of meaningless chat. Sometimes the dates lead on to other things, 13 members like this comment. |
ExoticOrchid - 26 Feb, 2019 - 04:42PM toecurler2 - 25 Feb, 2019 - 02:37PM 12 members like this comment. |
Brownbbwlondon - 26 Feb, 2019 - 03:05PM Happens too often 1 member likes this comment. |
Saralettershere - 26 Feb, 2019 - 03:03PM Wow
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Saralettershere - 26 Feb, 2019 - 03:02PM Toecurler - wow does clingy means they deserve to be treated badly? 8 members like this comment. |
tea_coffee_me_ - 26 Feb, 2019 - 01:42PM Because they can? 7 members like this comment. |
1283374-Deleted - 25 Feb, 2019 - 04:02PM Yes, men do face this but - I think - to a far greater degree and for a very simple reason. 1 member likes this comment. |
toecurler2 - 25 Feb, 2019 - 02:37PM What almost all guys fail to understand is that ladies also have similar physical needs as men. Plus a wee bit of emotional attachment too. Are you maybe sending out a hint of clinginess? 3 members like this comment. |
1276157-Deleted - 25 Feb, 2019 - 02:28PM I have had so much of this at least 4 good chats ,exchange pics etc ,then i start pushing for a date to meet etc ,then they get evasive ,im on here to meet not get my ego boosted or live out a fantasy ,so why waste my time ? yes i agree some have a few on here and end up picking one for whatever reason ,thats fine ! but we all have normal lives to try and fit meets in so please if you DONT intend to go through with it for whatever reason ,try another site some of us are genuine ..... 5 members like this comment. |
Happy sweet girl - 25 Feb, 2019 - 12:28PM That is happening to me over and over again 8 members like this comment. |
Borderline847 - 24 Feb, 2019 - 07:52PM Hi 9 members like this comment. |
1274565-Deleted - 24 Feb, 2019 - 05:03PM Dear member 8 members like this comment. |
Miles1691 - 24 Feb, 2019 - 04:55PM It is the same for a man - but suppose it’s is part and parcel of the digit world. Increasing reticent about sharing much personal until you meet, including pics..... 1 member likes this comment. |
1292084-Deleted - 24 Feb, 2019 - 02:40PM OK well here is my take on what is happening here I have been on this site off and on for 3 years, and I have met some lovely guys. I think what is happening is that these guys are talking to several women at once and they come across one that is a) closer in location than you b) they feel more attracted to or c) they feel a greater mental affinity to. Obviously because they have not met you they have not had the chance to know whether or not the electricity is there. 5 members like this comment. |
Teicu - 24 Feb, 2019 - 12:56PM I think guys just chicken out at the last minute. It’s a great ego boost on here so why wouldn’t they do it...or they have a few women on the go at the same time, remember men aren’t that good at multi tasking. 4 members like this comment. |
ExoticOrchid - 24 Feb, 2019 - 12:50PM Yes, there are many fantasists here, both male and female. 2 members like this comment. |
1250153-Deleted - 24 Feb, 2019 - 12:24PM I Definitely agree there has been a shift in attitude to communication etiquette in some members 2 members like this comment. |
Bereweeke - 24 Feb, 2019 - 12:03PM I am sure that both men and women have had the same experiences - as you recognise. Personally, I keep things to a "friends" level until we meet in person. If a gentleman wants more than that before we meet then he is no "gentleman" to me. I accept we all have different standards with regard to any internet dating site but "to thine own self be true." I suspect a lot of people on various sites suffer from NPD. Wishing you all the best. Never give up. 2 members like this comment. |
Honeybee527 - 24 Feb, 2019 - 01:03AM I also find that happens a lot too. I do however think that there are a few 'Tumbleweeds' that get off on just talking with no real intention of meeting. It could also be the fact that they are talking to a few ladies and maybe one is saying more of what they want to hear so we are left at the wayside. Especially if they are new to the site it can feel like a kid in a candy shop. Although it would be nice if they were no upfront than keep us hanging. 5 members like this comment. |
1273210-Deleted - 23 Feb, 2019 - 11:30PM As a man on this site I hear what you're saying and empathise with it. Yes it happens to us guys as well. I think we have to expect it to happen on here. It's impossible to judge people by what they say as you have no idea what their intentions are. I suspect we have to just do our best, be honest and hope others do the same. I think we're often going to be disappointed but just have to expect the limitations of this kind of dating. Not ideal I know but it can work. I've talked to a few women on here who have had good times as a result. I've met some women who have been lovely. Not had an affair yet but still think it's worth perservering. Think lucky but let 'caution' be your byword initially. Good luck and hope you do find Mr Right. 5 members like this comment. |
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