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Letters to Sara

Blocked

Hi All. I recently introduced myself to a local-ish lady who asked for my PW, which I duly supplied. Her reply was to accuse my of lying about my age, apologising if it sounded rude.
I tried to reply to find myself blocked. To me it's rude to not clarify an issue with someone's profile or block them before being able to respond. What are your thoughts?
My age is of course correct x

19 members like this.

Comments (62)

Temping - 22 Nov, 2018 - 04:48PM

Well, someone sent me a first message which included his photo password and contact details. I very politely said thanks but not thanks and also pointed out very nicely that he really shouldn't give out so much information before even establishing a dialogue.

He has now sent me a reply accusing me of wasting his time. I tried to send a message back and discovered he has blocked me! Charming ... not ... eff you too pal!

1 member likes this comment.

1264503-Deleted - 11 Nov, 2018 - 04:28PM

Men are guilty of this too
Guy sent me a VK told him I hated them the reply I got was "wow no wonder your divorced" try to reply with a polite response only to find I was blocked.
Plus guys block you if you don't respond asap.
Sorry but I do have a life outside of IE.

2 members like this comment.

1134762-Deleted - 09 Nov, 2018 - 09:00PM

Manafon.
.not the first time you put your foot in it..3 days after your comments on here you did it to me...I didn't block you. ..but certainly not interested. .need to think before you speak....

1134762-Deleted - 09 Nov, 2018 - 08:57PM

Manafon.
Not the first time you put your foot in it...after your comment on here...you did it to me 2 days later...lucky I didn't block you. ..need to think before you speak.....

Seductiveyes - 08 Nov, 2018 - 11:00PM

Dear member

I totally agree with jonwinter77. Don't waste your energy on people like that. Concentrate on nice and positive people

Jonwinter777 - 07 Nov, 2018 - 12:50AM

Cowardice. Pointless rudeness -- don't waste your energy on people like that; be grateful that you didn't have to invest anymore of your time in someone who would have most likely only given you hoops to jump through and sapping mind games to play.

1 member likes this comment.

Time.is.right - 06 Nov, 2018 - 07:42AM

I’m not on here to be friends with everyone, I’m on here to find just one. While being polite is simply good manners, if others block, send rude messages, ignore etc then that’s fine, it’s an easy way to cross them off the list.

1 member likes this comment.

Lasttimecaller? - 05 Nov, 2018 - 09:54AM

Whilst being 'blocked' might initially arouse some feelings of annoyance, confusion and maybe more. Does it really matter?.......
So, someone you don't know, have never met, and are unlikely ever to meet has decided for whatever reason that they don't want to engage with you. Life's too short to try to rationalise it or agonise over its just smile and move on.
There are still a lot of genuine people here, whose idea of getting to know someone extends beyond a virtual kiss, or a request for a photo password before even saying hello.

6 members like this comment.

Altostratus - 04 Nov, 2018 - 11:03PM

2waysoncerencounter. Such arrogance. You won't find many interested in you anyway with such a dreadful disdain.

6 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 03 Nov, 2018 - 10:53PM

I had someone contact me, they have changed their id I realised as the conversation went on.
They sent a message trying to be nasty and abusive, then they blocked me.

So it seems they send such messages, membership runs out or they are deleted, they return, and repeat.

1 member likes this comment.

Timeowt - 03 Nov, 2018 - 03:22PM

I wouldn’t worry about it, you’d have probably needed a flamethrower to thaw her out anyway!

1 member likes this comment.

amber57 - 02 Nov, 2018 - 09:16PM

one think i like to add, do not accept video calls , some guys on her want a quick leg over , and i am to proud to do so . i wonder why they do nt go to a hure , insted coming here to make a profile out wich is misleading , i do give people a chance , but i hate bull, so if u can not be honest saying as i only want a quicky what u expect i would barr you 100%, as i had tonight , u dd not even ask for permssion if u can video call me , so in ur own words F ... OFF I BLOCKED U .

1273330-Scheduled For Deletion - 02 Nov, 2018 - 08:56PM

I've been blocked just seconds after replying to a very attractive lady who'd sent me an initial message. It was probably dumb of me to mention, very delicately, that owing to the huge distance geographically between us an affair would be hard to maintain. I've learnt my lesson; ease that into a conversation AFTER a prolonged chat. She may have been moving to my area in a weeks time for all I know!! What makes it worse is that she was far and away the best match for me so far . . .

1 member likes this comment.

Aphra2015 - 01 Nov, 2018 - 07:31PM

oxford_brogue - 30 Oct, 2018 - 11:51AM:

"I would use this button too so that I do not keep seeing the same old profiles coming up on searches as some ladies seem to become permanent fixtures over the years"

Well if you know that 'some ladies' have been on IE for years, it means that you must have too. Here we go again - one rule for the goose, etc.

4 members like this comment.

Letty 251 - 01 Nov, 2018 - 02:21AM

Seems the trend is to 'ghost' on some dating sites typically on the apps. Stories range from blocking as discussed here, people meeting up and leaving quickly sometimes without even greeting their arranged date and the like. Poor etiquette at best, appalling behaviour at worst.

Apparently some of operators are analysing data, offering ' standard' responses making it easy for people to be polite and not feel slighted as people express in your letters. After all everyone is using the site for similar reasons.



Kind regards
Letty

2waysincerencounter - 31 Oct, 2018 - 03:10PM

I block about 99.9% of the people on here (so 1 in 1000 has a small chance; still quite high really). High standards. Yes.

2 members like this comment.

1271575-Deleted - 31 Oct, 2018 - 11:04AM

I thought the idea of the block button is for abuse received and for the 'your not my type' conundrum.

It takes all sorts that's all I'm going to say.

1273092-Deleted - 30 Oct, 2018 - 06:58PM

Sound like a polite excuse and that she didn't like you!

1 member likes this comment.

oxford_brogue - 30 Oct, 2018 - 11:51AM

I very much understand why ladies might use the block button. It has happened to me many times and, yes, it seems a disproportionate response at the time. As others say, many use it simply as a means of sorting matches, and it is not to be taken personally. I do know the fleeting sense of bewilderment and hurt it engenders in us poor men though! Can we ask for an Ignore button, so that our messages never get seen and we do not come up in searches again? Then we men are simply ignored as usual, which as many say is par for the course! I would use this button too so that I do not keep seeing the same old profiles coming up on searches as some ladies seem to become permanent fixtures over the years.

9 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 30 Oct, 2018 - 10:23AM

kulecat - 30 Oct, 2018 - 02:34AM

.. that there is an ‘etiquette’ and there are ‘rules’ related to contact on IE. What are these rules? I had assumed that women should make the first contact ... I have been extremely naive.

... no, if you find a profile you like, contact.
I would suggest that you write something that shows you have read the profile.
If someone has not read my profile (its obvious) I suggest they read it ...

Expect
- no reply
- a grumpy reply
- to be blocked
- a good reply

If negative, smile sweetly and move on, time saved and a step close to the right person for you :-)

8 members like this comment.

doc1976 - 30 Oct, 2018 - 02:34AM

Further, I keep reading across several letters, that there is an ‘etiquette’ and there are ‘rules’ related to contact on IE. What are these rules? I had assumed that women should make the first contact (as I dont want to add to their bombardment ! and they can choose themselves) but it seems I have been extremely naive.

1071490-Deleted - 29 Oct, 2018 - 11:01PM

Some people have a lot of pent up frustration, no sex no intimacy, and it spills out, in some ways to be expected. So some use blocking as a way to lash out. Just try to be courteous for yourself and don’t take it personally. I am always happy to chat to people, but some see it as a waste.

4 members like this comment.

SmoulderingEyes - 29 Oct, 2018 - 09:10PM

I'm with those who say don't sweat it. If you perceive someone as rude - blocking you with no explanation - then it's unlikely you'd have got along. Or they've got a problem (according to you). Either way, perhaps it's for the best that contact is broken. Move on. Plenty more fish and all that. You only need to land one - the one. Never mind all those that got away. It can be hard sometimes. You think there's a spark, you think if only you had a few more messages you'd ignite the fire, and sometimes you just fancy the pants off this unknown person behind an IE username. But if it fizzles out, it fizzles out. Catch those fish you can. Appreciate and feast on what you have. It's foolish to do otherwise, in this and other areas of life.

10 members like this comment.

Zyphod - 29 Oct, 2018 - 05:39PM

This site has changed over the years.
I think it is down to attitude and how people are now used to the internet.
People are used to getting what they want when they want.
In the early days Internet usage was not quite so wide spread, so people were used to
putting in some effort, in their profile and in their responses and were generally more patient.
Alas today (and this site is at fault as well), with automated profiles and stock images you really feel some just don't want to put the effort in.
So if you don't crack that amazing joke in the first message, you are not the right age or height or your photo does not look like the hunk they are looking for, Bang you are blocked.
But the majority of people on here are at that age, where we no longer look like the young person we want to re-capture.
Give people more time to open up it may take more than one or two messages.
Put the effort into a profile so you have conversation points and make some effort on the Avatar rather than use stock images.

11 members like this comment.

marklondonengland - 29 Oct, 2018 - 02:23PM

It may seem, but this is just a normal part of online communication. If you don't want further contact and don't want to be answering endless messages then the easiest way is just to block. It may sound harsh, but try explaining to someone why you don't want to continue talking, then do that again, and again... then you will understand why it's easier just to block and move on. If you are blocked then it just means that you are not a match.

1 member likes this comment.

doc1976 - 28 Oct, 2018 - 05:12PM

I have been blocked just by looking at someone’s profile! Also been blocked after sharing pw. Not many conversations have taken place - didnt lead anywhere so far but at least those didnt lead to blockage. Not had the best of luck on the site so far.

Good luck to all.

Kulecat

2 members like this comment.

Jonwinter777 - 28 Oct, 2018 - 01:06AM

Be thankful, she saved you the trouble of having to find out you weren't a fit. Time is precious and there is none to waste on people who have no manners. Her loss not yours, remember that.

Good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for.

2 members like this comment.

DBCooperFlight - 27 Oct, 2018 - 09:29PM

I have just had my first blocking. I don't get it. We were messaging quite a lot and I honestly thought there was some chemistry being built, but then we swap passwords (well actually I never got hers) and then simply a something is not feeling right and blocked. I am really becoming rather disillusioned with the site. Where have all the decent people (and I think men are just as guilty as woman) gone. Appealing to everybody, consider how you interact with others.

6 members like this comment.

DBCooperFlight - 27 Oct, 2018 - 09:28PM

I have just had my first blocking. I don't get it. We were messaging quite a lot and I honestly thought there was some chemistry being built, but then we swap passwords (well actually I never got hers) and then simply a something is not feeling right and blocked. I am really becoming rather disillusioned with the site. Where have all the decent people (and I think men are just as guilty as woman) gone. Appealing to everybody, consider how you interact with others.

3 members like this comment.

FussyFella - 27 Oct, 2018 - 09:59AM

Sadly this sort of rudeness is common. I get that women are often overwhelmed in numbers and some just block people who they have ruled out for convenience, but it still does not feel good. At least she put in a apology, many are less polite than that.

4 members like this comment.

Bereweeke - 26 Oct, 2018 - 09:22PM

As far as I am aware (but what do I know!), I have been blocked once when I responded to a gentleman to tell him he was way too young for me. I think some people might use blocking to ensure they don't contact an unsuitable match again. I have blocked one gentleman myself when he used language (at an early stage of our correspondence) that was uncomfortable for me. Do not take "blocking" to heart - there are bigger things to worry about in life.

2 members like this comment.

Bereweeke - 26 Oct, 2018 - 04:07PM

As far as I am aware (but what do I know!) I have only been blocked by one gentleman when I informed him he was a bit too young for me. He responded with a question and when I tried to answer I was blocked. I think some people might "block" so they do not contact the same person a myriad or times - just a thought. I have blocked one gentleman - purely because he used language that I wasn't comfortable with.

Golden Brown446 - 26 Oct, 2018 - 12:19PM

I've been blocked a couple of times one was for saying l wasn't keen on a certain town. Really. I thought well of you can't be mature about that you won't like my sense of humor.

1 member likes this comment.

WirePaul - 24 Oct, 2018 - 10:46PM

Hey, In my short time on IE I have also come across impoliteness and a shallow approach by some women but this may also be probably said for some men. From my own experience I've been blocked twice for only following up an initial introduction message to ask if the woman is interested in a chat or not, just a simple polite 'no thanks' would of been the decent way of responding rather than blocking but no two people are alike.
I agree with you it is rude but I don't have full knowledge of both sides to this. My view is it's quite simple...Life is too short - just accept the block and move on...their loss is someone else's gain for sure.

8 members like this comment.

1264503-Deleted - 24 Oct, 2018 - 01:29PM


Mandy Pandy
Oh dear
Who is that????
Obviously some guy who's emasculated at home so has to take it out on women on here where he can hide like the weak man he is.

3 members like this comment.

1268231-Scheduled For Deletion - 24 Oct, 2018 - 01:11PM

What about receiving a VK only to find you've been blocked when you try to reply and wonder if this is some kind of tease or and twisted power trip...?

3 members like this comment.

MandyPandy - 24 Oct, 2018 - 10:06AM

More interestingly , is the man on here who has two profiles and two different ages and if you contact him first , you get abuse because women shouldn’t make the first contact . Please tell me the secret to de-aging.

5 members like this comment.

Tantalising - 23 Oct, 2018 - 03:56PM

There is usually a good reason to block someone otherwise why do so? !

.Accept being declined and accept gracefully

10 members like this comment.

Newoldmanish - 23 Oct, 2018 - 03:18PM

You must accept that the world isn't fair . Just accept all people as they are. Their loss may or may not be someone else's gain. Also you must admit that we are all an odd bunch of people for being here. I'm not justifying others behavior, it's just how it is.

6 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 23 Oct, 2018 - 02:19PM

The Actress - 19 Oct, 2018 - 10:31AM

So much so, that I have photographed half a dozen members (using their own phones. where suitable). and they were happy with their new pictures----after all it might be difficult to explain, at home, why you need nice new photos!

This includes any member who feels that they could do with a boost to their photo gallery, or even something up to date.

- Yes exactly, I have helped others too

2 members like this comment.

FriendlySteve - 23 Oct, 2018 - 11:13AM

I have to agree with Alto that women on here are generally unlikely to reply. Don't know why but I would consider it rude not to reply to any messages or even kisses sent to me.



As for blocking, I see that as rude and unfriendly as you don't even have to read messages and can just delete them. It should be reserved for anyone seriously impolite.


The problem with photos is that they do not show age. Some like Tina Turner at 79 look young and some old!



I have a problem because I tend to like Indian women and perhaps for cultural reasons or because they are desperately shy they seem to block everyone who sends them a message.

2 members like this comment.

1134762-Deleted - 22 Oct, 2018 - 04:52PM

Blocked.
If you can't stand the heat..stay out of the kitchen.

4 members like this comment.

Altostratus - 22 Oct, 2018 - 12:23PM

richgirl3 the rudeness us from women. There is As I said barely any any replies to any messages....no matter how much care and attention is paid in the limited time on here. Maybe one in fifty women contacted reply. I've used this site for nine years on and off. At one time women were generally polite and lovely and I had three wonderful lovers over the years. Sadly over the past two to three years the behaviour of a majority of those very few women who can be bothered to reply to messages in the first place, in the main, lacks courtesy or empathy. Simple experience, no more.

6 members like this comment.

MrsMinxy - 21 Oct, 2018 - 10:21PM

I think it should be pointed out that the females who are replying "generally" on behalf of other females are not necessarily speaking for us all 😉

12 members like this comment.

richgirl3 - 21 Oct, 2018 - 02:29PM

Altosrtatus. What???? That's rude. Maybe if ure not getting replies you should review your messages!

1 member likes this comment.

Corianna - 21 Oct, 2018 - 10:42AM

The problem is that some of the people on this site do, I'm afraid, have mental health problems and can occasionally be unpleasant. Or sometimes, even if you give replies cushioned in the kindest language (Eg - I'm really sorry but although you sound like a very nice guy, I just don't feel that spark of attraction) it sometimes happens that they go nuclear.

I still respond with dignity but say that I am blocking them. If I've been kind and polite, I do not see why I should have to tolerate abuse so I don't. As others have said, lucky escape. Blocking without reason is rude.

7 members like this comment.

Really!!! - 20 Oct, 2018 - 05:50PM

I don’t think there is anything wrong with blocking someone without reason.

If you have said no to someone then that’s that, we don’t need someone trying to change our minds.
It saves the interested party wasting time sending more messages to the person who has already said. I, and the recipient of the messages having to waste their time opening more messages from someone they’re not interested in.

On many occasions I’ve had repeatedly received messages from men I have ignored or said I’m not interested - clearly if I’d blocked the person they’d not have wasted my time or there’s messaging again (obviously forgetting or ignoring they’d already been rebuffed)

The block button is there for a reason and we should feel comfortable to use it if that’s what we want to do - it’s down to personal choice when it comes to blocking someone. But if we do there’s no harm done - it’s not an extermination button and isn’t going to physically harm anyone!

4 members like this comment.

getfun - 20 Oct, 2018 - 12:21PM

Members here in to understand what this site is all about. for example if the member
she or he looking for some between let's say 20-89 does it really matter that much I don't think so as long as she or he between those ages its okay.

2 members like this comment.

Sexyannie1 - 20 Oct, 2018 - 07:27AM

I recently queried a man’s age. Said he was too young at 39. Turned out he was 64 but his mates said he looked 39. Er nooooo ! Picture didn’t lie though . Too sad to block !

7 members like this comment.

De Ville - 19 Oct, 2018 - 10:33AM

If someone wishes to be rude that there is choice and problem. Move on. There is probably little to be gained by trying to engage in conversation someone who clearly isn't interested

4 members like this comment.

The Actress - 19 Oct, 2018 - 10:31AM

As an actor I know how important a good photo is.

So much so, that I have photographed half a dozen members (using their own phones. where suitable). and they were happy with their new pictures----after all it might be difficult to explain, at home, why you need nice new photos!

I'm not bad at capturing a good natural image, on a phone, (unfortunately, I don't know one end of a real camera, from the other!) However, Mr OP, if you live anywhere close to London, I'd be happy to do some nice natural photos of you.

This includes any member who feels that they could do with a boost to their photo gallery, or even something up to date,. ( I once agreed meet a gentleman whose only photo, had been taken 20 years previously! Say no more!!)

5 members like this comment.

Iona Aeowyn - 18 Oct, 2018 - 10:48PM

She should have just been honest, that she didn’t find you attractive. Best thing is to forget it and move on. You wouldn’t want someone like that in your life anyway, would you?

4 members like this comment.

1264503-Deleted - 18 Oct, 2018 - 03:56PM

Maybe this guy should send his PW to a few of the women on here giving negative comments about the lady in question and then they can see for themselves the reason why.

4 members like this comment.

amber57 - 18 Oct, 2018 - 02:28AM

Well, it is rude not giving u the chance to correct it. but u not the only one as a female i got bloked at least 3-4 times after saying not even hello my pictures are decent , my english is lousy, and my body is slim and tall . so as u are a male why male bloking me lol , just forget it its her loose not yours ,thats how i take it , there plenty of nice women on here who like to talk and see how it goes
Regards
Amber

3 members like this comment.

lancelot2017 - 17 Oct, 2018 - 09:28PM

Sorry to hear that you had this experience.

I can imagine how insulted you felt particularly if you tell the truth about your age. There is no way of knowing if the lady is being fair in her assessment of your photo showing an older person than the age you declare. You would need to ask opinions across a range of people to find out if her comment is fair.
In the meantime - disregard it. Online dating can be ruthless.

2 members like this comment.

Sexybexy - 17 Oct, 2018 - 05:08PM

Dear tea_coffee_me_ - 17 Oct, 2018 - 09:41AM, You seem to have misunderstood me. I was not suggesting the writer needed to suddenly make himself more photogenic. What I was suggesting was that there must be something about his picture that made the writer think he had lied about his age (probably it made him look much older than his real age). Therefore, he needs to find or take a picture that reflects his actual age. This seems to me to be quite logical...

I stick to my original position though that when such things happen it is more productive to reflect on the feedback we have been given rather than complain about being blocked. Yes, the lady concerned was rather
quick on the draw with pressing the block button. But she did give some feedback. I can understand her exasperation with the men on IE. I have suffered from it myself...

Littlebird361 - 17 Oct, 2018 - 11:46AM

Sadly looks like you have been the victim of a troll. There are men on here who behave like this also. They have no interest in meeting anyone. They create profiles designed to attract which have nothing to do with reality. They may not even be the sex they say they are. Their purpose is to abuse people who respond to them, which somehow increases their own feelings of self esteem. We ought to feel sorry from them, they are clearly very damaged people.

6 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 17 Oct, 2018 - 09:41AM

Sexybexy - 17 Oct, 2018 - 08:36AM

Clearly this woman was disappointed by your picture.
- she may just be in a bad mood!

You have to remember that we women get inundated with messages
- not eveyone

I find that a lot of men persist in making contact if I don't block them.
- not me

When I came on here I didn't think I'd have to block anyone. Now I have a block list as long as the proverbial arm.
- really! If I have any its 1! in several years

As for you, instead of whining
- ouch! He was trying to understand this place! Logic is missing, try not to.

Some people are not photogenic, I have met many lovely men who's photo was terrible!

The other day I was told I was rude and horrible as I do not block!

3 members like this comment.

DJ0075 - 17 Oct, 2018 - 09:05AM

If the other person takes that attitude then you are probably better off without them.

9 members like this comment.

Sexybexy - 17 Oct, 2018 - 08:36AM

Clearly this woman was disappointed by your picture. She at least tried to give you some feedback before blocking you. Many wouldn't have bothered. You have to remember that we women get inundated with messages so we try to avoid having unnecessary conversations with men who we consider to be time wasters. If this had been me I would have replied "Sorry, you don't float my boat". I may have commented that perhaps your picture hadn't done you justice. But if you had persisted in trying to contact me I would certainly have blocked you. I find that a lot of men persist in making contact if I don't block them. When I came on here I didn't think I'd have to block anyone. Now I have a block list as long as the proverbial arm. As for you, instead of whining, I suggest you look at your password pics to see how they can be improved. Learn from the feedback you get rather than criticising others.

5 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 17 Oct, 2018 - 08:18AM

People do block for good and silly reasons - if you struggle with it, wrong place to be.

a) many people do lie about their age, both sexes. (I have met up with many who have lied about their age, does not bother me as I need the right personality, they do it as many are shallow about age.)
b) many people are rude, both sexes
c) anyone who treats you as above, would you really want to waste time messaging / attempt a relationship with them?

... lucky escape and time saved :-)

12 members like this comment.

Altostratus - 17 Oct, 2018 - 08:01AM

You were lucky to get any form of reply from any woman on here in the first place!

7 members like this comment.

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