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Letters to Sara

To groom or not to groom?.

That is my question.

Ok so I like to perform fellatio on a guy but I have a thing about hair in
my mouth .

I also think that a well groomed man or women means that they take care of
themselves and are cleaner and more hygienic I mean no one wants to go down
on someone who doesn't take care of that side of things.

So if someone asked you to trim and make tidy would you?

I really don't like stopping to remove hair from my mouth every few
seconds,kinda spoils the moment.

26 members like this.

Comments (66)

1319375-Deleted - 06 Jul, 2019 - 04:45AM

You could wear a condom in your mouth to protect you from hair lol. Yes i trim the hair every week, wash it every day ir rather its in the bath every day with me. If i was on a date with you i’d make sure it was trimmed with no loose hairs, so when can we meet, im looking fir the scissors..

1290265-Deleted - 22 Feb, 2019 - 03:00PM

I haven't tried trim and tidy, though can understand why that would be preferable!

My hesitation would be on arousing suspicion with my wife - any tips to avoid that?

1277877-Deleted - 06 Dec, 2018 - 10:58AM

I like trim and tidy as I too am trim and tidy...simples... :-)

1 member likes this comment.

Man in the hat - 27 Nov, 2018 - 08:13AM

As a guy I love going down on a woman. A little hair is ok, but yes otherwise you are having to stop every couple of minutes to clear your teeth. I suggested to my ex about having a trim and she basically accused me of being a paedo...

1 member likes this comment.

1253630-Deleted - 12 Nov, 2018 - 05:02PM

Just wondering if the author has been inundated with messages from potential eager suitors who want a partner who enjoys this aspect of sex particularly.After all sexual predilections are not required to be itemised in a tick box formally on this site .It's my view to nail your colours to the mast sets up a precedent and expectations .I'd rather be discreet for fear of attracting purely salacious interest from the bed notch type of guy.

6 members like this comment.

1274565-Deleted - 09 Nov, 2018 - 08:16AM

Dear member

Just ask him to trim himself. I always ask the man if he trims himself and if he says he doesn't I ask him to come to me clean and smell well. I had one bad experience (he was a gorilla) and I am not going to repeat it.

1 member likes this comment.

Blondeambition287 - 07 Nov, 2018 - 10:26PM

I completely agree with you. I love fellatio but refuse to go down there if its not trimmed really really short or better still, shaved completely. If im meeting and i know that there's a very good chance it will end up in bed then i tell them i expect them to take care of that dept. It's a real deal breaker for me! I always wax & shave everything so i expect the same consideration!

4 members like this comment.

Martpwpe - 06 Nov, 2018 - 12:54PM

I think this is a tricky issue: when things have moved to the bedroom stage I feel the most important thing is for her to feel relaxed. A partner may be quite nervous the first time & I would prefer that she should be happy to decide how she wants to present herself. Making demands on this front right from the start (or ever!) could well be undermining. I agree that loose hairs do interfere when things start getting passionate & greater sensitivity can come from smooth areas but I feel that should not override the importance of my partner being comfortable with herself as this always leads to better things. As for me, having been once advised I was getting too long I realised I needed to pay some attention to that side of things & keep things to a sensible level :-)

1 member likes this comment.

Timeowt - 03 Nov, 2018 - 03:40PM

Natural, scissor trimmed or shaved completely are just fine. Would we all prefer to go down, only to find she’d done a No 2!

1 member likes this comment.

mipaulac - 02 Nov, 2018 - 11:54PM

Its far more sensual if your trimmed and shaved. I agree hair on your tongue isn't very appealing and detracts a girl from deep throating and cumming in her mouth :-) !!!

Whynot1 - 01 Nov, 2018 - 09:56PM

At the end of the day, there is a reason why we have pubic hair.

nuubi4 - 31 Oct, 2018 - 05:09PM

Always keep neat and tidy ...Why wouldn't you ???

1271575-Deleted - 31 Oct, 2018 - 10:41AM

I don't think women should shave! I like a guy natural but trimmed.
I can't believe this conversation is taking place....

6 members like this comment.

1273309-Deleted - 31 Oct, 2018 - 09:33AM

When all is said and done, isn't this all just a matter of personal taste, so to speak and whatever turns you on....or off!
Of course cleanliness and good personal hygiene are an absolute pre-requisite., But having known ladies who are hairy, trimmed, shaved....I have to say that whatever their grooming style, it has never detracted from the enjoyment.
And in fact, a few stray hairs can even cause some giggles and laughter during play, if you're both relaxed about it.
I guess the important thing is to take the time to find out each other's likes and dislikes and try to accommodate them where possible. Be careful though, if you suddenly change your intimate grooming habits as your wife/other half may ask some awkward questions!
As for my own intimate grooming, that's one for a personal message.

2 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 29 Oct, 2018 - 06:23PM

Wow people have an issue with greying hair? ... there!!

If a man is hairy elsewhere for me not an issue, I find it more of an issue as this is an area that is warm, cased in clothing, easily sweats and smells, hence less air less bacteria.

Several men I have met have said they have had problems in the past of women not being 'clean' there.
I also agree with I have no issue with people wishing to shower at a meeting or me doing so, as one can become hot and sweaty during any travelling even when showering before leaving.
Several times we have met for dinner and when back at the room the first thing they, me or we ;-) have done is shower! Good way to start the fun! :-)

2 members like this comment.

1123463-Deleted - 29 Oct, 2018 - 02:20PM

Of course, people will say that 'natural' is fine and this should be respected, but we are talking about a specific problem here. If you want to give oral to your lover then it is easier without hair. If you are intending to enjoy sex regularly then surely there is no reason why you would not trim or shave entirely? This is also a question of basic grooming, for both men and women. If you can't be bothered to tidy up and look after yourself so that you look (and taste) more desirable for a lover, then are you worth investing much time in? Personally I'm completely smooth myself and that requires time and moisturiser, etc but I think it looks better - so why not?

2 members like this comment.

1071490-Deleted - 28 Oct, 2018 - 08:32PM

Long ago and far away, I had a girlfriend with very hairy nipples, it was the norm for her, she was amazing, but the hair was difficult...hair it seems is a sensitive subject. Beards, hairy legs, hairless, strips, trimmed. So if you get to an intimate point, and you want to repeat at a later date, finding away to talk about grooming, and hygiene is going to be important. I always feel it’s best to talk about what the other likes, make pillow/sex talk, make it erotic, find their desires then tell them yours. I think most men would find it quite erotic, especially if you helped or got them to help you.

1 member likes this comment.

FussyFella - 27 Oct, 2018 - 10:05AM

Of course. I get the hair in moth thing too - for similar reasons I prefer a woman smooth or well trimmed. I love to give oral pleasure and a long curly hair disappearing down one's throat at the wrong moment does tend to distract.

Even more important is to keep it fresh and clean - hair there that is matted with various dried bodily fluids is even less appetising.

Personally, I maintain the hair there short cropped as the default, but am more than happy to go completely smooth if that is what a lover prefers.

2 members like this comment.

JACKF195 - 26 Oct, 2018 - 11:56PM

better natural

3 members like this comment.

Iwonderif72? - 26 Oct, 2018 - 08:09PM

Yuk!!!! Just seeing hair down below on a male makes me feel nauseous.
If you want sucking, you need to have been busy plucking!!!!!

5 members like this comment.

Wanderlust1983 - 26 Oct, 2018 - 03:29PM

I personally think it’s each to their own really, it’s nice to keep it tidy as you never know what might happen ;) if you meet someone and your not keen on how it is then be as honest and polite as you can if you really like the person...or you can make a game out of it and shave each other!!

2 members like this comment.

Golden Brown446 - 26 Oct, 2018 - 12:00PM

I tend to floss at night so having to do it after intimacy would be quite annoying l do agree with the initial comment of asking to trim hair below it's such a nuisance and it detracts from the art of giving pleasure. I call it art because it's a pleasure to be enjoyed by both giver and receiver.

1264503-Deleted - 26 Oct, 2018 - 11:17AM

Why would you say "clean up " to any women how disrespectful is that.
And then do you think they would stick around after?

6 members like this comment.

1140862-Deleted - 26 Oct, 2018 - 05:38AM

What's the fun here. I personally would never ask a woman to shave until the topic was raised by them. I must admit that I like to think I present hygenicaly but I'm not adverse to saying " I think you need to clean up" if a bit of cleaning is required. Hair doesn't bother me so long as it's clean. So it's each to their own but I trim for me.

Tantalising - 24 Oct, 2018 - 11:23AM

If a male's pubic hair starts to turn grey then I really feel it should be shaved offI It is on a par with grey facial hair definitely very ageing

4 members like this comment.

1118221-Deleted - 24 Oct, 2018 - 10:15AM

Hairs in the mouth? How? I've concluded I must be doing it all wrong....

3 members like this comment.

1264503-Deleted - 23 Oct, 2018 - 05:31PM

Do you not intend a women to undress you?
Surely that's the point of an affair.
Or do you keep your clothes on at all times lol.

3 members like this comment.

Perfect moments - 22 Oct, 2018 - 02:45PM

Really, what does it matter?
In my opinion hygiene is far more important than being trimmed shaved or whatever. It's a personal preference. It more important to connect with a person than judge someone on their nether regions.

6 members like this comment.

1266497-Deleted - 21 Oct, 2018 - 11:15PM

Reading the general consensus here I just cannot beleive many of my peers can be so crude! Starting a conversation with 'are you shaved' or infaxt anytbing sexual just shows a sincere lack of respect and manners and you can probably not expect much more to come of it.

If a woman asked me I would probably reply that unless she intended to undress me that it's none of her damn business - approaching people with a little sophistication would go a long way to some of the lack of success from the site some in the comments regularly cite

For the record I am the hairiest manbeast alive more of a living wolf but always scrubbed absolutely clean and smell awesome 😂👍 I've been told that many times by people who have no sexual interest whatsoever !

11 members like this comment.

1271588-Deleted - 20 Oct, 2018 - 09:56PM

It is purely personal. It is fine to have personal preferences and to make them known but it is down to each individual how they prefer to be groomed and you either have to respect their choices or if it is a big issue then just move on. I have my own preferences but wouldn't expect a partner to always be groomed in the manner wanted I them to be. However clean is essential

4 members like this comment.

Iona Aeowyn - 20 Oct, 2018 - 06:16AM

IE is more risqué nowadays with this subject on Letters to Sara. Many men like women smooth, so its only fair they’re the same. Don’t you think it’s more hygienic anyway ? Plus if you’re going grey, it makes that area look younger. ;-)

Piaff - 19 Oct, 2018 - 08:59PM

There's no excuse nowadays. Plenty of products on the market to get rid of hair and, if he's a proper man, he can get waxed.
Long gone are the days when only women and gay men got waxed. Grooming is king and long may it reign.

2 members like this comment.

De Ville - 19 Oct, 2018 - 07:47PM

It would appear that to some people the most important criteria in choosing a potential partner is what they do with their pubic hair

2 members like this comment.

dejavu_again - 19 Oct, 2018 - 04:09PM

I fail to see how any man in a functioning sexual relationship with their spouse would get away with this unnoticed - it would certainly arouse suspicion... different sexes, different rules I think.

And as for those here saying they would take their scissors to it.. sure... and while you're at it put a few scratches down his back, spray him with your perfume leave your lipstick on his collar ;)

5 members like this comment.

1238378-Deleted - 19 Oct, 2018 - 03:05PM

I’m in my early fifties and have been ‘manscaping’ since my mid 20s before it was the in thing. I love looking neat and tidy and never had any woman ask why I done it. I have to agree that getting pubic hair at the back of your throat can be horrible. But I am happy to perform cunniligus on a lady whether they are trimmed or au natural

3 members like this comment.

1268529-Deleted - 19 Oct, 2018 - 02:37PM

Can't beat a nicely presented full bush. Have always loved exploring thickets. That said, my garden has no greenery on or round it all. Kept spotless and trimmed fully back, everywhere.

1 member likes this comment.

1238378-Deleted - 19 Oct, 2018 - 01:04PM

I’m in my fifties and have ‘manscaped’ for years. I love my trimmed And occasionally shaved pubic area. Much better than having a mass of hair all over the place

1 member likes this comment.

Altostratus - 19 Oct, 2018 - 11:13AM

It's not possible for everyone to shave.completely.....difficult questions may be asked at home!

Chelseaguy12 - 19 Oct, 2018 - 09:32AM

Shaving the balls and the shaft is a necessity; its cleaner, feels better and looks nicer. Slightly disrespectful not to shave, Id be mortified / might refuse to go down on a girl who was au naturel

2 members like this comment.

Iona Aeowyn - 18 Oct, 2018 - 10:51PM

Is this a subversive way of finding out who’s like the hair bear bunch and who’s like Right Said Fred?

3 members like this comment.

1243009-Deleted - 18 Oct, 2018 - 05:19PM

Definitely a trim.
As for smells [ugh, ugh, ugh] and taste of urine [ugh, ugh, ugh], there is no excuse ... a quick wash when washing hands in the privacy of the hotel bathroom ... or a quick shower even!

3 members like this comment.

1264503-Deleted - 18 Oct, 2018 - 03:54PM

For your information most men on here don't have an average size appendage more below average hence hard to find through the thicket.
Plus there are other things to do during a good BJ that don't involve the said appendage that are much better if the gentleman in question was shaved.
Your comment was very funny .....hope your not talking from experience.😁
I think that the fact a guy has taken the trouble to look after that side of things usually means there conscious of hygiene.
And considering one of the first questions ask by a lot of guys is are you shaved ,trimmed or waxed I think we can ask the same back.

6 members like this comment.

mike_campbell - 18 Oct, 2018 - 10:24AM

There's another point in favour of a trim. If someone gets a hair in their throat during oral sex, the cough could explode your testicles.

8 members like this comment.

lancelot2017 - 17 Oct, 2018 - 09:32PM

I would have thought this would be more of an issue for men muff diving.

Even an average sized dick sticks out well beyond the pubic hair so I dont see how hairs get into the mouth unless extreme deep throating.

1 member likes this comment.

1052168-Deleted - 17 Oct, 2018 - 06:44PM

Totally agree with you. Often men seem to start a conversation about sex by saying ‘are you shaved?’ (as well as more unsavoury things!) because this is the preference of many - yet they make no attempt to groom themselves well.
Sorry guys, you can say ‘it’s not about hygiene’ I’m relation to their load of pubic hair but the author of this letter is right - it does smell a bit especially if you’ve travelled for a while to your destination or been at work all day. Don’t expect women to have no hair down there if you’re going to make no effort yourself. I don’t want hair up my nose or down my throat either.

6 members like this comment.

Bringmeroses - 17 Oct, 2018 - 01:55PM

i completely agree with male grooming. I love the feel and taste of a man, but I never agree to sex on a man who has a thicket... it's tickly (in a bad way) and often the thicket smells a little and occasionally it is difficult to locate his manhood!!! It's difficult though as most older men - and I am seriously into older men have thickets!! so they completely lose out - one look and I am out the door!

5 members like this comment.

1100197-Deleted - 17 Oct, 2018 - 10:07AM

I thought this site was about the fun parts were all missing. What next how clean we keep the back seat of the car. 😁😁😁😁😁😁

9 members like this comment.

Really!!! - 17 Oct, 2018 - 08:35AM

The presence of hair has no relevance to hygiene - shaved / trimmed private’s does not necessarily mean someone will respectful enough to shower before meeting up - whether or not sex is on the card or not

However like others I find this topic distasteful - I joined here a while back looking for a secret affair which is what I understood this site to promote however from profiles I’ve read and the messages I read it seems to attract more people wanting sex meets and hook-ups than a genuinely secret affair with a like minded person. Very disappointing!

13 members like this comment.

MrsWilliams - 16 Oct, 2018 - 11:41PM

I remember the last time that I discussed this topic.
It was the winter of 81/82. The Human League were number one in the singles chart, and it was snowing.
It was lunchtime, too cold outside, and the school canteen was a bit grim. We hid in the cloakroom too eat our packed lunches. We discussed Depeche Mode, long fringes and pubic hair.
I’ve never really given it much thought since.

9 members like this comment.

1264503-Deleted - 16 Oct, 2018 - 10:45PM

Have you not read every other letter and comments on here there is no air of illusion on IE.
Everyone loves talking about everything on here.
Personally I think it's a good thing to have an open discussion about all the things we would dearly like to know.
Including pubic hair.

1252209-Deleted - 16 Oct, 2018 - 10:37PM

People only cut their grass during the summer surely ?

sweetpea24381 - 16 Oct, 2018 - 05:13PM

What the heck are you sucking on? a mini penis or his pubic bone??? It really shoudnt matter about whether someone is trimmed down below or not just because they are doesnt mean they are clean... maybe they havent washed for a week???!!!!!!!!!!

1 member likes this comment.

1118221-Deleted - 16 Oct, 2018 - 04:53PM

Lordy! I have enough trouble trying to tame my copious facial hair without having to worry about mutual nether regions. I think this is a generational thing. In my day oral sex was quite rare, and, if it happened we were happy to "get down and dirty" with mouthfuls of hair included. The younger generation now receive sex education lessons which encourage them to have oral rather than penetrative sex. Hence men shave and ladies tend their Brazilians. And everything has to be super CLEAN! As this applies to IE, I have asked my dates how they would prefer my beaver...and have received a lot of very embarrassed stuttered replies. I've also been told when my attempts at hair removal have not been totally successful (I can't help it; I can't see what I'm doing). If a man's pubic hair bothered me I'd certainly mention it and bring out my kitchen scissors if necessary. Maybe this is why I get so few second dates...

2 members like this comment.

E. Edward Grey - 16 Oct, 2018 - 04:28PM

I'm reminded of a couple of Samantha's humorous comments in Sex & the City:

After one of Samantha's lovers suggests she gets a wax .....
Samantha: "It's my week between waxes. I have three errant hairs and this asshole thinks I'm George Of The Jungle.
Carrie: "Well that's horrifying."
Samantha: "And you should see the bush on him. I need a weed-whacker just to find his dick.

Samantha's retort to said lover after he suggests she gets a wax .....
Samantha: "You have a lot of nerve telling me to get a wax. If you were in Aruba the natives could bead your back. And it's not just there; every time I blow you I feel like I'm flossing.‬"

8 members like this comment.

amber57 - 16 Oct, 2018 - 12:37PM

i always trim, more hygene. i,do not mind to do foreplay as long the person i be with is clean.after all do not like to catch something i peticular do not want, hair or not its up to the induvidual excuse my english , as a lover , i think it would be a give away when out of a sudden he or she comes home shaved, anyway why this conversation i let myself in, much more interesting stuff to talk about.

amber57 - 16 Oct, 2018 - 12:28PM

It is a must !!!
I, myself would feel very uncomfortable to be dirty , come to think of it makes me crinche! must have shower clean and tidy , om sorry , if someone dose not know the word HYGENE,
i do not want to Know.

tea_coffee_me_ - 15 Oct, 2018 - 11:30PM

For this everyone is different. Many debates, some feel lack of hair more hygienic .... less surface area less area for bacteria etc for grow, others disagree and insistent on completely natural.
Fashions also change over the years!!

You are on a site for people having an affair, and the majority of the time for it to be kept a secret from their husband/wife/partner etc.

If they are usually with hair or not with hair, your preference is irrelevant as to change for your preference will rarely be possible ...
... for either preference it may be accept as they are, or tactfully move on...

2 members like this comment.

1105479-Deleted - 15 Oct, 2018 - 11:20PM

Ha! makes me think if the zohan and his bush that he is so proud if beciase all the ladies love so much.

Preferences of any sort are purely subjective. I’d discuss it but I’d never ask. No one tells me what to do with my foof. My foof my decision.

3 members like this comment.

DJ0075 - 15 Oct, 2018 - 11:02PM

You could always hold back his hair by holding your hand over it.

Then again take a pair of scissors and tell him it’s part of the foreplay. He’ll love the attention.

734503-Deleted - 15 Oct, 2018 - 10:54PM

I’m with the letter writer on this one!
If you’re in an extra curricular relationship good grooming and personal hygiene are crucial!
I have ended friendships for this reason.... problem is you never find out until you are about to do the deed!!!!

1 member likes this comment.

1245471-Deleted - 15 Oct, 2018 - 06:24PM

How pathetic A conversation about pubic hair!

10 members like this comment.

Zyphod - 15 Oct, 2018 - 05:03PM

Women probably change their look/grooming habits far more than men and men often don't even notice any change.
However if a man trimmed and not known at home for being trimmed it may arouse suspicions

1268056-Deleted - 15 Oct, 2018 - 04:27PM

I would say to keep the area tidy for more time to spend devouring. I do like to think that some men do look after that area more than others. As for us women...we should wax so it's sexy silky smooth.

infinity840 - 15 Oct, 2018 - 03:13PM

Bald is beautiful !

1100197-Deleted - 15 Oct, 2018 - 03:08PM

Can we not leave a little air of illusion, about ie please. A bit like the queen using a toilet. We know she does , but do we really need to know about it . Have fun x

3 members like this comment.

mike_campbell - 15 Oct, 2018 - 10:52AM

Yes, always keep the area trimmed so no need to be asked. Don't mind either way on a partner though I do like at least some hair there.

5 members like this comment.

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