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Letters to Sara

Birthdays with an IE

I would dearly love to know how you all acknowledge or mark the birthday of
a lover. Do you make a grand gesture or mark the occasion somehow with
something tangible or intangible? Perhaps you write or say the words Happy
Birthday. Or do you let the occasion go completely unnoticed?

5 members like this.

Comments (29)

Blondeambition287 - 25 Nov, 2018 - 11:02PM

I marked my previous lover's birthday & Christmas by buying him personal gifts that he could easily explain away if asked, but he knew they were from me & that made them special. He bought me beautiful swarovski crystal jewellery that i wear every day to remind me of him.

1253630-Deleted - 08 Nov, 2018 - 01:13AM

Actual presents could be risky with illicit relationships .I'd never compromise someone with the risk of discovery .A message is enough and far more considerate .

FussyFella - 27 Oct, 2018 - 10:16AM

Never unnoticed - I would (and have) always sent some sort of discreet electronic communication on the day if we could not meet (sadly the nature IE things is that is often difficult). Some e-cards can be fun or romantic, and something personal like one I designed with words I have written feels best.

I have often given discreet gifts too. Things I know they can keep without suspicion but are personal. For instance with one former lover, she brought herself lots of costume jewellery so buying her some was not an issue. In reverse another lover always got me cuff links as I have lots so an extra pair appearing was never an issue. It's about being discreet but also thoughtful - expensive jewellery for instance might be a lovely gesture, but for many it would extremely hard to explain.

One thing I did for a lover as I knew she would appreciate it, was arrange a makeover and spa day. It was a thing I knew she did for herself, even if the one I arranged was a rather more upmarket one.

Just be thoughtful.

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Iona Aeowyn - 20 Oct, 2018 - 06:26AM

The IE I used to have found birthdays awkward. I could tell he’d get me something untraceable. Flowers bought with cash was lovely, but then I had a set of kitchen uplighters, as he could get those on his trade account. I wasn’t overly impressed. A non gift gesture would have meant more.

589389-Deleted - 06 Oct, 2018 - 08:29PM

I'm lucky in that my married IE never forgets my birthday. We celebrate each others birthdays near the actual date even buying cupcakes to celebrate.

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1268056-Deleted - 06 Oct, 2018 - 06:34PM

I would send an e-card...its always a nice touch plus you can personalise them now. Ideal if your lover is off in far away destinations a lot.

1263820-Deleted - 05 Oct, 2018 - 11:20PM

I marked the occasion of my lover's birthday. I couldn't see him and clearly I couldn't sent him s card. I wrote him an erotic poem and then filmed myself reading it to him and sent him the video via our messaging system. He loved it. On my birthday he sent me a lovely message a photo of the gift he had for me to give to me on our next meeting.

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LJ1984 - 03 Oct, 2018 - 07:53PM

Never had birthday presents, but when my last affair came to and end he bought me a leaving present......does sound strange. But he was very kind. If he had got me a "good bye your leaving" card that would have been even better hahah

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Tantalising - 29 Sep, 2018 - 06:27PM

Mrs Williams respectfully it has to be borne in mind that some men never ever remember Birthdays. It does not make them thoughtless I think you are being a little scathing. by what you say regarding rudeness If he repeatedly forgot your birthday and it meant that much to you Why did you continue to see him?

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1229369-Deleted - 27 Sep, 2018 - 10:30PM

I sent him a message at 11:59 wishing him a wonderful day, along with a sensual picture "for your eyes only". He loved it and loved the fact that he was already on my mind.

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MrsWilliams - 26 Sep, 2018 - 10:39PM

I had a three year relationship with a man from this site. He asked my birthday, but then never bothered to remember it.
Gifts are impractical, but a message stating “Happy Birthday” is polite and thoughtful.

To ask the birthday of someone you are sleeping with, and then never acknowledge it, is plain rude really!

14 members like this comment.

Lifes2Short25 - 23 Sep, 2018 - 11:03PM

I would assume that a majority of IE lovers spend their birthdays with their partners/ families etc?
An email or text message just to wish them a ‘Happy Birthday’ would be a nice gesture and if circumstances allow, a small gift that could be easily explained from a work colleague etc to partners/family, but certainly never after shave or perfume unless they are unattached!!

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richard123 - 23 Sep, 2018 - 10:55AM

lots of treats in privacy is the best present!

bubbles, chocs, in between, lots of kissing, etc! XX

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tea_coffee_me_ - 21 Sep, 2018 - 08:57PM

No one knows when mine is, so that is easily dealt with.
In all the years of this I have never received a present as such, Christmas etc.
The occasional random (extra) treat, which due to my circumstances, and the fact that I do not receive any birthday, Christmas etc presents very very much appreciated.

Birthdays of the IE has been different.
If they have disclosed when it is, if able to meet or not, how they view their birthday, Christmas etc
For some IE's it is a big deal and they expect certain things, for others, presents etc would just be more of an 'issue'.

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539875-Deleted - 20 Sep, 2018 - 08:43PM

My experience has been mostly mutual between my lovers and me.
Message on the day and some form of present that can be taken home without being noticed. The exact present depends on the lover. Lingerie for example can be quietly hidden in the knickers draw at home.

As Babecanyoudriveme - 18 Sep, 2018 - 07:47PM said marking the event with a memorable night is the best way of celebrating together, perhaps incorporating the new lingerie or other outfit with no practical use.:-)

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ExoticOrchid - 20 Sep, 2018 - 04:12PM

Kubixia - 19 Sep, 2018 - 11:01AM
Nodumbblondehere - 19 Sep, 2018 - 12:39PM

My goodness ... unbelievable!

I know it's the thought that counts and nobody, male or female, should "expect" anything, least of all something expensive, but even a little bar of KitKat or a joke present would be nice.

Personally, I have always given, and received, presents ... not joke ones either!

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1249918-Deleted - 20 Sep, 2018 - 03:46PM

always send a message on the day, and make up for not seeing him on the day later :-)

I have kept in contact with one previous liaison, we have sending birthday greetings for last five years with a quick update

i think easier for the man to buy gifts, difficult other way round

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FriendlySteve - 20 Sep, 2018 - 12:09PM

For anyone I know then a nice meal out would be my preferred usual present.

I don't like cut flowers and have only once bought any and that was for a valentines day.

But a plant in a pot is better as it grows and can be a reminder that I exist. ( Only of course if they bother to water it instead of letting it die in remembrance of me. )

I always stay clear of perfumes as they are so personal to like or not. Must be nothing worse than giving an expensive perfume and then told that she does not like it!

Presents should always be unexpected and not asked for. I would hate a woman who tells me to buy her Channel No. 5 for her birthday!

Tim2170 - 19 Sep, 2018 - 05:04PM

Winner of a raffle ticket

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PussyCat30 - 19 Sep, 2018 - 04:42PM

A previous lover always sent me a message on the day and still does, as I do to him. He sent a message today as it is my birthday! He didn't have to buy me a prezzie as he was always generous when we met.

1264503-Deleted - 19 Sep, 2018 - 12:39PM

I've been with my IE 2 years and never got anything
Or from any of my other affairs which lasted just a long
Nothing zilch nadda.😫

1105479-Deleted - 19 Sep, 2018 - 11:01AM

Wow so many generous IE’s. The ex didn’t buy me a thing the entire almost decade we were together. Never met a less generous man in my life.

Vixen37H - 18 Sep, 2018 - 10:15PM

We met and had a lot of fun for mine

887459-Deleted - 18 Sep, 2018 - 08:30PM

An e-card plus a gift when next you see them. I used to take a former IE flowers, a book (she loved reading) and a half-bottle of champagne. The latter two can be hidden and if you don't go overboard on red roses, they could have bought the flowers themselves.

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Babecanyoudriveme - 18 Sep, 2018 - 07:47PM

How old is she, did she tell you when her birthday was or did you asked? In the IE world best birthday might probably have a very memorable IE 'night' evening or day together, by that I mean real good f...k, a bottle of perfume or pair of nice earrings probably, try and keep it low when it comes to presents.. just my opnion though

Teicu - 18 Sep, 2018 - 06:08PM

Lap dance 🤗

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The Actress - 18 Sep, 2018 - 04:51PM

I plan an interesting "event"; I can hardly give him an actual gift, can I? Last year we went on a balloon ride, 2 days before the day!

On MY birthday, I got a delivery from the local nursery, of a large potted plant for my garden, it's growing beautifully, whereas flowers would be dead by now!

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ExoticOrchid - 18 Sep, 2018 - 04:49PM

Definitely a birthday message on the day itself and then of course presents and champagne either before or after, depending on availability!

As for what kind of presents ... something which won't be remarked upon at home! Although for me personally, it doesn't matter as I'm single and there is nobody looking over my shoulder.

2 members like this comment.

1118221-Deleted - 18 Sep, 2018 - 01:31PM

I send a Jacquie Lawson e-card!

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