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Letters to Sara


I have met my men just over 2 years on this site and has been absolutely the best 2 years of great sex in years, and its getting better and better, we are now fulfilling our fantacies and we have agreed to a MMF and FFM will be such a great experience, but we would like to do this with a couple as we are dont want to have sex with those people as such.We just want to hear if there others who have done this and whether it practical? We are both in very settled marriages and have both had a clean bill of health which we did when we met those many moons ago. 

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Comments (40)

1274565-Deleted - 07 Dec, 2018 - 10:55AM


I had a very similar situation to you. I met a man for a year and we had the best sex that I can ask for. I also fulfilled my fantasy of MMF (I am not into FFM) as I like the full attention. The second man was my other lover. It is very important to pair the right men for a great sex which I did. I will recommend MMF to every woman. I like to have sex with men that I already slept with for a better connection. I would not recommend clubs but every person with his/her own fantasy and needs.

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DJ0075 - 15 Oct, 2018 - 11:17PM

Fantasy is always much better than reality. If you want to go through we this, from experience find a couple seeking the same. We found that clubs worked better because if things weren’t going exactly to plan it was much easier to walk away and start up a conversation with another couple.

1 member likes this comment.

amber57 - 15 Oct, 2018 - 12:13AM

Well, as you write -we- so your friend knows you ask on here what we think?
personal , i am happy what i have,and what happends between my friend and i, its private!
If you both have to urge to try things out , im sure the internet has plenty of links to guide u into the right direction, Have fun enjoy whatever you like . and good luck
Regard's Amber

1139483-Deleted - 04 Oct, 2018 - 08:43AM

Lucky you OP. Few even reply to my messages. Of those that do, 90% are just plain rude, arrogant, pompous or a combination of all three. After years on here it just doesn,'t work anymore. I'm off.

6 members like this comment.

Teicu - 29 Sep, 2018 - 01:12PM

Flipping heck things are getting a little serious, take a chill pill

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1244855-Deleted - 28 Sep, 2018 - 10:43PM

Naughty in NW

Amen to that!

2 members like this comment.

1243009-Deleted - 28 Sep, 2018 - 04:50PM

Farenheit451 - 27 Sep, 2018 - 12:52PM

"I do practise (with an 's') what I preach. It's a shame that some others are less honest about their own actions and motives."

"The difference between practice and practise mainly comes down to British vs. American spelling. In British English, practise is a verb and practice is a noun. In American English, practice is both the noun and verb form."

We will agree to disagree regarding discretion.
It is still my belief that one ought to be discreet and the primary fault lies with the person who provided the information.

FYI I didn't bother to Google the names of the men The Actress identified because I couldn't be bothered but I still don't see why others can be blamed for doing so.

[as per Naughty in NW, my apologies also to the author of this letter]

2 members like this comment.

Naughty in NW - 27 Sep, 2018 - 09:26PM


Just letting you know that I did not read your comment on here from the 25th September prior to me posting mine despite the fact that mine was posted on this forum after yours. I'm not quite sure how the timescale on here works!

I did not realise that The Actress had edited her original post and I now have a better understanding of your comment. I would like to think that I remain fair and objective in my posts on here!

I did not feel 'compelled' to Google the details The Actress provided, but I just hate mixed messages and inconsistencies provided within profiles. I just highlighted that in my original post. The fact that The Actress has now removed those identifiable comments in her original post is a credit to her, but also an admission of how inappropriate it was.

Apologies to the author of this letter as the thread has detracted from her original issue. I accept my part in that! 😀

Let's live and let live. Not bullshit in our profiles, and keep each other safe! Enjoy!

1 member likes this comment.

1244855-Deleted - 27 Sep, 2018 - 12:52PM


"Why wouldn't anyone have a quick Google?"......Well, why would you?
"it's human nature innit" is NO kind of justification for actively seeking to identify someone through Google, whilst at the same time, 'championing' the cause of personal secrecy and discretion.The only people responsible for identifying the people involved, are those sought to do so!
As I understand it, even if the The Actress laid the pathway in her original post, no-one was compelled to follow it, other than for reasons for prurient curiosity.
And finally.........I have already explained that I was responding to what I was able to see. I can hardly be blamed for the fact that some extracts of the original post had been removed before I joined the conversation - something for which I have apologised in this thread to two other members.
I do practise (with an 's') what I preach. It's a shame that some others are less honest about their own actions and motives.

1243009-Deleted - 26 Sep, 2018 - 05:00PM

Naughty in NW - 25 Sep, 2018 - 11:54PM
sunandmoon - 25 Sep, 2018 - 07:19PM

It would appear Farenheit451 is quick to jump to [wrong] conclusions!!!

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1243009-Deleted - 26 Sep, 2018 - 04:46PM

Farenheit451 - 25 Sep, 2018 - 11:01PM
" why did you feel compelled to google?"

It's human nature innit ... enough information was given in a public forum so why wouldn't anyone have a quick Google ... all it took was to copy and paste into Google the exact description The Actress gave and as if by magic, the names appeared!!!

You really should practice what you preach and "live and let live" too!

6 members like this comment.

Naughty in NW - 25 Sep, 2018 - 11:54PM


Having read your comment I thought I had logged onto Dumb/Dim D***s.com.

You have completely missed the point of this thread. I think that the vast majority of us on here have far too much life experience and tolerance to even begin to raise an eyebrow about other peoples' preferences. In that respect, I fully agree with your statement that we should 'live and let live '. Absobloodylutely.

However, you completely contradict yourself in terms of attitude to what 'constitutes an illicit relationship' (your words). Your profile states you understand the rules and boundaries of such a relationship. I assume you refer partly to the need for discretion! How does that marry up (pardon the pun) with the prospect of one of your encounters exposing you in a similar manner on here? The Actress provided enough information to make some of her previous 'participants' very easily identifiable. No detective skills needed, just a few brain cells and a chap called Google!

Elementary, my dear Watson.

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1244855-Deleted - 25 Sep, 2018 - 11:01PM

I am moved to offer an apology to both sunandmoon and naughty in NW for my comments about their powers of detection.
It would appear that a previous post which I did not see as it has since been deleted, contained some specific information which enabled them to identify certain individuals referred to by The Actress.
PS though. If discretion is as important to you as you say, why did you feel compelled to google?

1134762-Deleted - 25 Sep, 2018 - 07:19PM

Fahrenheit. 451
I did not criticise the lady..just highlighting the fact that she has her adress on her profile.

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ExoticOrchid - 25 Sep, 2018 - 06:07PM

Farenheit451 - 24 Sep, 2018 - 01:54PM

"We just want to hear if there others who have done this and whether it practical?"
Perhaps you missed this little gem in the letter dear?
I don't see anyone being prudish about this subject ... we were asked for our views and that's what we have done here ... I don't see any criticisms at all.

As for The Actress, you came to the party too late my dear ... I have read the original comment where certain information was given which has now been deleted and the comment edited. Perhaps you shouldn't jump to conclusions too readily my dear man!!!

7 members like this comment.

1244855-Deleted - 24 Sep, 2018 - 01:54PM

Judging by some of the posts on this thread, , I thought I'd logged onto Prudish Prigs.com.
I really don't understand why some people are so 'precious' about what constitutes an illicit relationship.
Thank god we're all different. So let's not be too quick to look down our noses at others' wants, needs and desires.
Just to be clear, MFF or MMF doesn't do it for me, but I'm certainly not going to criticise anyone who enjoys that or any other 'fantasy' of their choice.

And as for sunandmoon and Naughty in NW criticising The Actress...... you must both have detective qualities of Colombo/Poirotesque proportions, to have gleaned what you say you did, from that post and her profile!

Why can't we just live and let live?

tea_coffee_me_ - 21 Sep, 2018 - 08:48PM

Oh good it was not just me who was muddled with what they are looking for.

Most people have a fantasy of some type, if they have the chance to fulfil it why not?
Yes many times it will not be as hoped, however you will then know, and the longing will be gone.

Some fantasies I have been able to help with, others have not been my thing, or the relationship has not progressed to that point, and hopefully they have found that elsewhere.
One partner, made a big deal of theirs which was not my thing. It became so important in their mind that we ended due to it. They fulfilled it with someone else, (which I was more than happy for them), it was not as they hoped and regretted ending with me....

Fantasies have their place, try not to make it into a bigger part of the relationship than it should be...

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1134762-Deleted - 21 Sep, 2018 - 08:24PM

Re The Actress. ..I viewed your profile due to this thread...you identifying a previous liason and virtually naming them..I have obviously managed to Google them...but on viewing your profile you have literally identified your exact address? surely this a foolish and potentially dangerous thing to do..

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1243009-Deleted - 20 Sep, 2018 - 04:19PM

Naughty in NW - 19 Sep, 2018 - 09:08PM

Absolutely. For me, I am single but I am beyond discreet on the others' behalf. I also have no wish to disrupt anyone's home life.

I am aware of the need to be very careful also because, if nothing else, I have no wish to see an irate wife/girlfriend/partner chasing after me and trying to pull my hair and scratch my eyes out!!!

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sandy222 - 20 Sep, 2018 - 12:10PM

Their are specific Sites for what you and your partner require. Just Google

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Naughty in NW - 19 Sep, 2018 - 09:08PM


Thank you. This is something I feel very strongly about. After all, if we didn't care at all about our home circumstances, and the obvious need for discretion we would not be on this particular site!

The Actress

My post should have ended 'we need to keep ourselves, and each other, safe on this site'.

Your profile mentions any potential partner would expect, and get discretion. Clearly not! I now know the names of the men you had a threesome with, purely due to your own indiscretion, an absolute no no in my book. If you feel the need to 'name drop' (you do seem rather preoccupied with 'high profile' and residing near Hyde Park) move on to a different site where discretion is not of the utmost importance. Not being a killjoy, but there are unwritten rules on here. Play by them, or move on.

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1264503-Deleted - 19 Sep, 2018 - 12:54PM

Your letter doesn't really make much sense you want a MMf and MFF 3 some but you don't want to have sex with them ,what do you think a 3 some is I wonder.
And you say you want another couple but no sex with them so you just want to watch them or them watch you ,just go to a dogging site your get both.
My lover and I have also talked about both these scenarios but I don't like sharing and could never watch him with another women but he loves the idea of me with another man but although he has joined couples twice b4 it's never been with someone he has feelings for which worries me that it will change things between us after.so I think we're just keep thinking about it and wait.

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1243009-Deleted - 19 Sep, 2018 - 12:45PM

Naughty In NW
Totally agree with you. I too thought the same. Extremely indiscreet of The Actress in her haste to show off and tell
her story !!!

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Naughty in NW - 18 Sep, 2018 - 11:00PM

The Actress

I agree with your view on introducing another party, or parties, to an already established relationship completely. Been there also and it didn't work for me or my then IE partner.

However, why do think it's acceptable to expose the guys you had your MMF experience with? Based on the information you provided in your post they were very easily identifiable on the internet. A very 'niche' professional field by your own admission.

Your profile states you are widowed. Absolutely fair enough. My assumption, rightly or wrongly, is that these men are possibly likely to be attached in one way or another, and might not want their experience with you to be shared. You state a preference for 'high profile' men. Just be mindful that they don't turn out to be 'high profile' for the wrong reason! After all, we need to respect the privacy of any 'encounters', however brief, on here. If you can't adhere to that, being single, you are possibly on the wrong site. We need to keep ourselves, and each other,

16 members like this comment.

Summerbelle - 18 Sep, 2018 - 08:41PM

Been there, done that many years ago when I was in an extra-marital relationship and we managed to find that elusive single female who agreed to participate in an MFF.

What we found was that someone always felt left out. If she and I were together, he felt the odd one out (although of course didn't mind watching lol), if he and I were together she felt left out and when they were together I felt like I might as well have not been there.

Having a fantasy is great. Sometimes it's often best left that way.

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1139876-Deleted - 18 Sep, 2018 - 05:29PM

I'd settle for a decent MF at the moment

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The Actress - 18 Sep, 2018 - 01:44PM

The only time I ever took part in a MMF threesome was with a pair of twins, it was 30 years ago, but I still remember it well!

They're a high profile pair in their own field; I bumped into them at an exhibition a while back, and although I remembered them, I was surprised that they remembered me! They said they'd only ever tried it once. (hmmmm?), but maybe? It was certainly the only time for me!

But back to the OP; I'd say DON'T go there! Maybe with three people who are not committed to one another, (or related, in some way), it might work, but to add a third member to an attached couple, can only pick away at the fabric of that relationship, to its detriment. Unless you're a Mormon?

Incidentally the BBC are currently running a series on "Polyamory", (defined as, unmarried but in a multiple relationship).

1 member likes this comment.

FriendlySteve - 18 Sep, 2018 - 12:31PM

There are so many men who will join a couple for fun together.

But virtually no females !

A single friend who lived at the end of my road used to entice women to join him and a married couple for fun together.

He died of cancer of the bone!

One of his enticed ladies died suddenly of some kind of brain related problem.

But she was a woman in a million who enjoyed sex for itself and not as part of any relationship. She was single and totally happy to stay single.

dejavu_again - 17 Sep, 2018 - 09:17PM

Hmmm.. thinly veiled 'are any females interested in a MFF?' advert... ?

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perfect mistress material - 17 Sep, 2018 - 04:13PM

Eeeeuw .... just noooo

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ExoticOrchid - 17 Sep, 2018 - 12:31PM

Blonde Moment - 14 Sep, 2018 - 11:37PM
".I hope you are very secure as a couple because if you aren't it could lead to trouble "

Absolutely ... fantasy is fine but believe me, it is a totally different ball game in reality when you see your partner having sex with someone else in front of your very eyes, especially if there is some degree of emotional attachment between you.

I speak from bitter experience ... been there, done that, got the Tshirt and in all honesty, it wasn't worth it. I know many men fantasise about and want to see two women together but I don't know many women who fantasise about and want to see their partner getting it on with another woman!!!

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1243009-Deleted - 17 Sep, 2018 - 11:04AM

You would be better off on dedicated swingers' sites if this is what you are after.

5 members like this comment.

1243009-Deleted - 17 Sep, 2018 - 11:02AM

ExoticOrchid - 15 Sep, 2018 - 12:04PM
Not to mention the fact that this lady is talking about "threesomes" yet wants another couple which would then be a "foursome" which is a completely different ballgame!

Cariadmaybe - 16 Sep, 2018 - 11:18PM
Indeed ... I know it all too well, unfortunately.

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Cariadmaybe - 16 Sep, 2018 - 11:18PM

My own and purely personal view is, be careful what you wish for!
I know of two couples who went down a similar road and it didn't end well in either case.

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X_Ray0104 - 16 Sep, 2018 - 09:00PM

Met some one and have met couples but only at clubs don't do it in isolation you ca get to know couples or singles before you commit . Its like on here you take the profile on fave value its not until you meet some one that you kne id you want to proceed this is something that I would like to et back into but with the lady that has the same opens as me .

sbh25550 - 16 Sep, 2018 - 07:29AM

We are in exactly the same position!
Met on here about 18 months ago and have been searching for the elusive female to join us in a MFF threesome, these ladies are called unicorns as they don’t exist or are very rare but we have broadened our horizons and have met a couple. It is practical and can happen but you need to take extreme care as it is a mine field out there and there are many fakes and chancers, also picture hunters.
Google it and you will find sites aimed at swingers but be warned it’s not an easy path but very worthwhile when it works
Happy hunting xx

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1188444-Deleted - 15 Sep, 2018 - 11:21PM

Sound very crowded already.

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Teicu - 15 Sep, 2018 - 12:34PM

I’ve been in that situation. We found that 3sums were actually more difficult to find then a 4sum.
We met a great couple and we did hAve a couple of experiences.
It’s quite tricky though as essentially all parties need to fAncy each other ad plus you need to consider whether you just want to do soft swap or hard swap.
If you cAn find the right couple it can be an amazing experience

ExoticOrchid - 15 Sep, 2018 - 12:04PM

"we have agreed to a MMF and FFM will be such a great experience, but we would like to do this with a couple as we are dont want to have sex with those people as such."

I rather confused about this sentence ... you want to have a MMF and FFM but you don't want to have sex with them??? So what do you want to do with them then???

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1253630-Deleted - 14 Sep, 2018 - 11:37PM

I dare say you might find others but not sure if this is the appropriate site .I hope you are very secure as a couple because if you aren't it could lead to trouble .Not sure what you are referring to when you say 'practical'. As for clean bill of health the more people you involve the more you risk compromising that .

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Letters to Sara

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