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Has our attitude to age differences changed in recent years?

I think we all know that generally speaking we are unlikely to attract someone who is significantly younger than ourselves and maybe even significantly older? Excepting that there are some who want a particularly younger model! But what sort of age gap is now acceptable and at what level do people 'draw the line'? And are we now more flexible in this day and age than we were 10 years ago?

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Comments (68)

kenunknown - 05 Jul, 2018 - 07:58AM

we should all set aside our prejudices and engage in the most fundamental of all pleasures "conversation". Its only through engaging in conversation that we discover the other and when that happens to trigger our curiosity and stimulate our minds and bodies then the question of age differences simply becomes numbers. Thats not to say the next stage is any easier because that involves the eyes and a range of other prejudices may come into play but it does give us a step forward towards greater equality.

dorsetspx2 - 22 Jun, 2018 - 12:01AM

In my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s pre marriage, I was always of the opinion that women in their 30’s pre childbirth were absolutely the best, Not that I had many to compare across those 20 years. Now in my 50’s I fear they are but a memory! Fine memories though.
Enough experience to know what to do and enough experience to know what they liked.
The age you look and feel still counts, years younger and looking older is not as good as being older and looking younger?
But spark and chemistry have to be there.

Green Horizon - 21 Jun, 2018 - 03:07PM

I certainly think it's becoming more acceptable as time passes for me. What's hard to tell if that's because I'm older, and the people I mix with are older, or because society is changing. I certainly think that when I was 20 a 10 year age gap seemed huge, but now it wouldn't be something I'd think about. I personally find how old someone acts and looks to be far far more important than the chronological number of years. I certainly know some women 20 years older than me who'd I'd still consider young and very very attractive, nut also I've met some people in their 50s who look and act like someone much older.

1241327-Deleted - 19 Jun, 2018 - 12:11PM

For sure. Women in there 50s have always been the most attractive to me.

ExoticOrchid - 13 Jun, 2018 - 10:18AM

Tim3950 - 08 Jun, 2018 - 04:39PM
"half your age + 7"

That would only work for the men ...

3 members like this comment.

Citizen sane - 13 Jun, 2018 - 12:08AM

As I get that little bit older, I find myself becoming mere relaxed, more comfortable in peoples company and definitely more confident in maters of an intimate nature...

I wonder how many others would claim similar experience

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1222304-Scheduled For Deletion - 12 Jun, 2018 - 12:01PM

It may be that men who are in their 50"s are regarded as a bit of a crusty. Fair enough, some are however, some of these guys may have looked after themselves!

In my humble opinion, anyone who sets a fixed age range, either male or female, ought to think about opening their eyes a little :)

1 member likes this comment.

Kissaholic - 11 Jun, 2018 - 01:46PM

I work on the premise that we should look like a "normal" couple, not draw attention for looking out of place. Age can play a part in this but can depend on how the older of the two carries themself and dresses. Beige really is a no-no.

Tim3950 - 08 Jun, 2018 - 04:39PM

I have always worked on the rule of half your age + 7 and then it wont look like you are out with your dad.

1 member likes this comment.

richard123 - 07 Jun, 2018 - 06:01PM

age is just a number. it really is!

outlook on life wins every time! XX

7 members like this comment.

amber57 - 01 Jun, 2018 - 07:33PM

i, think men between55-upwards they got quieter , have more expieriences, can talk with them about everything and some are still from old school have manners, rather be with a person in this age , than a young buck , who comes for lessons or likes to try his fantasy out , which would nit attract me and i rather trust a person which is older as i know he would not be a walking news paper. as the younger guys like to show off and more, so yes i rather have a in my age range .

3 members like this comment.

Fabiofabuloso - 31 May, 2018 - 11:03PM

There really is is no right or wrong when it comes to age, it just depends on how you see things at the time and what you are attracted to.

I often dated women in their late 20s and 30s when I was 18/19 and still prefer women who are older than I am today.

For me more older women are sexier both in and out of bed ( to me at least ) and I always feel more comfortable and turned on in the company of a mature sexy woman....

1 member likes this comment.

chef5182 - 28 May, 2018 - 02:15PM

I wonder if despite thinking age should not be an issue, is having a wide age range on your profile, put people off? Mmmm

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Devils_grape - 25 May, 2018 - 10:32PM

I've dated a few women in their sixties, but most in their 50s, as well as more age appropriate women. The first time was probably a bit of a fantasy fulfillment but in most cases it seemed to work quite well. All bar one seemed to be quite keen to have a relationship (the one just wanted sex, which was fine - no judgment).

In short I don;t think it matters, but I am sometimes faced with concerns about how their body will look naked. Body image is a hard issue to overcome! (Though they may just be letting me down easy)

Gemstone - 25 May, 2018 - 06:00PM

My long term IE was 24 years older than me. I was 28 when we met. We had looks and comments when out but it never bothered me. It was a bit odd that I was born three weeks before he got married though! Still, he always made me laugh, treated me like a princess (in terms of affection) and he was a big cuddly bear. The sex was incredible... older men all the way for me!

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Summerbelle - 23 May, 2018 - 05:15PM

When it comes to the subject of age I always say age is just a number ... and mine is ex-directory :-)

3 members like this comment.

Honey.Babe - 22 May, 2018 - 03:24PM

I think it definitely varies a lot and doesn't matter really! I'm in my 20s and always find myself drawn to much more mature, older men. Can't really explain it, but it certainly doesn't bother me!

3 members like this comment.

richard123 - 22 May, 2018 - 07:50AM

age is just a number is so true.

it is all about outlook on life! XX

3 members like this comment.

1210148-Deleted - 18 May, 2018 - 10:06AM

Based on the number of men under 40 who have contacted me (mid-50s), I'd suggest that older woman fantasy is alive and well. It's just not my scene.

3 members like this comment.

Minhotep - 18 May, 2018 - 06:45AM

I don't think age matters all. What is important is how you get along. A few years ago I met a lady on here - she was 29, I was 61. Changes in circumstances mean we can't meet any more but we remain the best of (long distance) friends. And no, I'm no sugar daddy and she wasn't looking for one.

1 member likes this comment.

Wanderlust1983 - 11 May, 2018 - 12:22PM

I’ve been with women 20 years older and it’s always worked out great in all ways. As long as you both are looking for the same thing and conditions are right then as the saying goes...age is just a number.

Whatabounder - 07 May, 2018 - 07:18AM

Robert Roy Quote - "There's many a fine tune played on an old fiddle"

Yup and "There's many fine fiddle played to an old tune!"

1 member likes this comment.

Ecclefechan - 07 May, 2018 - 06:02AM

Aughts in NW. Thank you for directing me to the small boxes I had overlooked. I had not appreciated their importance.

Altostratus - 06 May, 2018 - 10:08PM

I'm afraid that women on here are incredibly rude. I've been called all names under the sun by obviously sad younger women for just messagng them

3 members like this comment.

Naughty in NW - 06 May, 2018 - 07:54PM

Ecclefechan.......you have today changed your lower age limit in terms of preference from 20 to 40. In response to my post? Still 21 years age gap when you state that above a 20 year age gap 'feels wrong'.
Please don't get me wrong. I am incredibly openminded! Just don't like it when people tell fibs! Playground stuff. More interested in a mature 'playground'! 😀

1 member likes this comment.

Sexybexy - 06 May, 2018 - 05:07PM

Yes, Robertroy. I couldn't agree more. I'm looking for someone who wants to play a fine tune on this old fiddle...

1 member likes this comment.

Naughty in NW - 05 May, 2018 - 09:08PM

Ecclefechan........How amusing. You state that more than a 20 year age gap just feels 'wrong'. And any ladies under 40 aren't just wordly enough yet. How bloody arrogant. You are 61 and according to your profile your lower age limit for a match is in the 20s.
Please credit us ladies with a bit more intelligence. Double standards are incredibly off putting. ! You have no chance on here with that attitude.

8 members like this comment.

captain883 - 05 May, 2018 - 04:28PM

Age brings experience and repetition brings boredom. IE gives the opportunity of discovering a developed experience (variety even) and age I not a factor in this.

2 members like this comment.

Ecclefechan - 04 May, 2018 - 09:30AM

Chemistry.........and a dash of alchemy. Twenty years difference is about the limit otherwise it just feels ‘wrong’.....and you ladies under 40 just aren’t worldly enough.....yet.

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tickleyourf***y - 04 May, 2018 - 05:17AM

There’s many a fine tune played on an old fiddle 😊

1 member likes this comment.

Iona Aeowyn - 01 May, 2018 - 10:56PM

I think it’s chemistry and integrity that attract me. I’ve had a relationship with someone 22 years older and also 20 years younger. If you get too number focused you could miss out on something truly great.

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ExoticOrchid - 01 May, 2018 - 08:45PM

magichands78 - 29 Apr, 2018 - 07:22AM
"My Mother in Law for example, just over 60, still gorgeous and I wouldn't say no."

Oh that made me laugh ... naughty ... tsk, tsk! :-)

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santascoming! - 01 May, 2018 - 07:29PM

Daddydom- agreed. But a man in his sixties is old enough to be my father. Yuk!!

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sunandmoon - 30 Apr, 2018 - 10:45PM

Twilight Lady. .I get you in a way..but I believe. ."less is more". we are all individual.

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Daddydom - 29 Apr, 2018 - 08:25AM

A woman aged 45 should not despair - to a man in his sixties she looks a young girl!

3 members like this comment.

1228268-Deleted - 29 Apr, 2018 - 07:22AM

I have always had a thing for older women that look after themselves. My Mother in Law for example, just over 60, still gorgeous and I wouldn't say no.

4 members like this comment.

2020j - 28 Apr, 2018 - 08:45AM

A younger man, say up to 15 years is such a turn on and likely to have energy and enthusiasm in abundance. I'm not looking for a life partner, just someone to make me feel alive and desired. Age really shouldn't be that important, the chemistry and connection are far sexier.

5 members like this comment.

sunandmoon - 27 Apr, 2018 - 07:31PM

Twilight Lady. .I get what you are saying. .but I think "Less is more"...we are all individual.

richgirl3 - 27 Apr, 2018 - 01:40AM

You've heard the expression. "Old enough to be your mother". My policy is, if there's more than say 16yrs between you then that statement is true. That's just me though, each to his own. 😊

1 member likes this comment.

Heartandsouls - 26 Apr, 2018 - 08:29AM

I prefer an older man they are more experienced in handling a woman.
They are not afraid of showing some emotion and care for their lovers.
Love making is less of a sprint and more of a marathon.....

11 members like this comment.

Heartandsouls - 26 Apr, 2018 - 08:27AM

I prefer an older man they are more experienced in handling a woman.
They are not afraid of showing some emotion and care for their lovers.
Love making is less of a sprint and more of a marathon.....

1 member likes this comment.

1227530-Deleted - 25 Apr, 2018 - 09:55PM

The age thing is a strange fish! I've met guys 20 years younger than me (I've never smoked and don't look my age) and some have been very attracted to me and one extremely rude one wasn't (and all my photos are recent so what that was all about I have no idea ? and when I looked in the mirror I had not grown two heads so that was a bit of a mystery!!). It depends on the person I think. The personality and the connection and of course the elusive chemistry.

3 members like this comment.

santascoming! - 25 Apr, 2018 - 07:17PM

I'm a cougar- and proud! I'm loving the fact that things have moved on and men are excited by older women. It's always been okay the other way round- and why shouldn't it be the same in reverse! I've had women come up to me when out with my younger lover basically saying good on you! It's both thrilling and exhilarating. I also find younger men are better with the self-care and grooming. I like a man to make an effort too.

5 members like this comment.

Aphrodite21 - 25 Apr, 2018 - 05:03PM

The truth is important . You are not going to get younger by 20 y by lying about it or withholding the truth .

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Aphrodite21 - 25 Apr, 2018 - 11:01AM

The secret is to be truthful. No point in posting a photo that is 30 y old. The meeting is a shock. Basis for a relationship is to be honest . ( as far as we can be on here ). Age isn’t really relevant here.

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Gawain749 - 24 Apr, 2018 - 08:17PM

Well - I have followed this with interest because I know I must be one of the (chronologically) older males. But if you look at my profile you'll see why I am here. I have found so far that young ladies are far more interested in me than someone, say 40-60. Maybe it's the sugar daddy thing; but maybe also it is that younger people are more willing to experiment. I have met two wonderful ladies on IE in the 50-60 year old range - one clicked and the other did not quite. But I have also met too many non-responses (really rude I think). From another site, I have met a truly charming young lady who seems to find me attractive even though she is almost 40 years younger than me. Shock? Horror? I shall keep going with IE because it is not good for my young lover to stay with me for too long I think. But, please everyone, it's about relationships, open minds and what one can learn from other at any age!

13 members like this comment.

Wanderlust1983 - 23 Apr, 2018 - 08:57PM

I doesn’t matter at all in my opinion, I’ve been out with a number of women who are 8-10 years older than me and it was great in all ways ;) as long as you are looking for the same thing then age in just a number...:)

3 members like this comment.

Twilight Lady - 22 Apr, 2018 - 10:28PM

Just looked at your profile and i think maybe the problem is that your profile is very lacking in detail.
Maybe you should open up a little bit about yourself and what you are seeking.
Ive never had any problems in engaging with younger and older men......but my profile is a lot more informative.

2 members like this comment.

Chillynuts - 22 Apr, 2018 - 05:37PM

I always find that the young girls don't have an issue dating a person who is 10 years older than them. But I always find woman who are 10 years older than me are hesitant in going out for a date.what we all forget is that we should go out with someone who we feel appropriate for ourselves rather worrying about what others think.

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Altostratus - 20 Apr, 2018 - 02:31PM

One of the major reasons that many women find that younger men seem to prefer older women is simply because men send messages to a hundred women before they receive one reply! The ratio is probably 1 in 200 for women of the same age as them but 1 in 50 for women older than them. Logical behaviour.

1 member likes this comment.

villagegirl45 - 20 Apr, 2018 - 12:44PM

You are so right!!

villagegirl45 - 20 Apr, 2018 - 12:44PM

Maybe in general what you say may appliy but I have found quite a lot of young men (for me that is 45+) have shown considerable interest in me at 75. I'm selective and obviously consider them too young but the interest is still there. I'm told there are just some young men who like older women. Maybe they're looking for cougars and found me by accident!!

secret.wish - 19 Apr, 2018 - 08:54PM

It depends how old you are - @santascoming at 37 playing around with a 25 year old is less of an affair, its more living out a fantasy, both ways, nothing wrong with that but its playing with a different kind of fire especially if they're even younger. A 50 year old with a 38 year old however isn't so bad (hint hint)

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dobadthings - 19 Apr, 2018 - 08:19PM

In my experience, younger women - under 40 - tend not to be generous and experienced lovers. They know what they want from a man, but they don't know what to give to him.
That said, I would be very happy to be proved wrong...😉

Annaverylondon - 18 Apr, 2018 - 09:30PM

As long as he's at least 15 years older than me it's fine. Makes me feel young(er). 😁😂

5 members like this comment.

Twinkle6627 - 18 Apr, 2018 - 05:47PM

I don’t think age matters personally, it’s the ability to get on that counts.

When I was 35 I had a fling with a 62 year old. Granted the sex wasn’t wild but it was loving and he always made sure I orgasmed.

3 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 18 Apr, 2018 - 03:49PM

"are we now more flexible in this day and age than we were 10 years ago?"

I would say yes, we are ... especially for older women with younger men.

As for older men with much, much younger women, that's always been acceptable in society's eyes. There are many examples old men making a fool of themselves with women young enough to be their daughters or even grandaughters! :-)

5 members like this comment.

The Actress - 18 Apr, 2018 - 01:13PM

I'd say 10 years either way, but there don't seem to be any gentlemen here, who are over 80, so I'll just have to make do with gorgeous younger men.
It's just so hard! (Sigh)

4 members like this comment.

sandy222 - 17 Apr, 2018 - 09:42PM

5 years either way is ok

3 members like this comment.

Sexybexy - 17 Apr, 2018 - 04:29PM

Speak for yourself! I continually seem to attract men much younger than myself. I draw the line when they are old enough to be my grandsons rather than my sons. Using a scientific sample size I have found that men of my age group are highly unlikely to be able to get it up. Due to the onset of arthritis, I am far less flexible than I was 10 years ago, so I need an athletic, young partner...

8 members like this comment.

1146803-Deleted - 17 Apr, 2018 - 03:20PM

I'm married to a guy 10 years older when I came on here I was looking for a guy closer to my age.
But instead ended up with a wonderful guy 12 years older.

1 member likes this comment.

1222055-Deleted - 17 Apr, 2018 - 02:27PM

Age is only an issue is people make it an issue, especially in this day when the average life expectancy is so much higher.

Your age just identifies how long you've been about not what you've experienced:)

3 members like this comment.

SoftToffee - 17 Apr, 2018 - 11:34AM

Around 10 years either way is ok with me. Not really into young girls, but older women (even at my age) is a turn on I've experienced. I do look younger than my age, and that does help 😀😀

1216595-Deleted - 17 Apr, 2018 - 08:32AM

I would feel comfortable with someone 10 years either side of my age, but I have a female friend who ran off with her best friends son (she was 39 and he was 18), and 5 years later they are still together and very happy.

So I guess it really comes down to each individuals preference.

tea_coffee_me_ - 17 Apr, 2018 - 12:34AM

For this I do not feel there are any rules or 'lines drawn'

When I started looking for my second husband, I had an age range.
When I looked into this I realised that my age range upwards could be many years more.
As stated many times on many letters. This site is for an affair, yes they may last years, however often it is much shorter for many reasons.
You are not living with the person or expecting to be part of their life should aspects change.
Consequently my age range is much higher (even though I think IE cuts off technically at 70!!)
As discussed before people also fib about ages, many seem younger than their 65 years others claiming 45 must have endured many years down the mines and very hard paper rounds.
Personally - its personality, not looks, as many have had terrible photos however great times have been had by both :-)

6 members like this comment.

sunandmoon - 16 Apr, 2018 - 11:29PM

Well, men seem to like older women. .despite my profile i get lots of messages from younger men which I don't find flattering. .on the other hand I don't get messages from my own age group. .totally disillusioned ..I have pics up and I am genuine. .yet to get messaged by a real man..let alone meet someone.

3 members like this comment.

1185743-Deleted - 16 Apr, 2018 - 11:10PM


I can't answer you regarding 10 years ago but I think if you look good for your age and there is a mutual attraction and chemistry I don't think a 10 year age gap makes any different. However, I find out that older men (if they can keep it up) are so much better lovers as they fully understand the woman's body and needs.

3 members like this comment.

santascoming! - 16 Apr, 2018 - 07:54PM

I think there have been some changes in that it is now far more acceptable- and indeed desirable- for a female to have a younger male. It's certainly something that would interest me! I, as a female, am far less tempted by older males (sorry older males on here!)- I have that at home and seek a different type of sensuality with a younger, more active partner. Personally, I think 15 years younger is the youngest I would go. My last lover was 12 years younger and it was a completely amazing experience. Sadly many older men struggle in some departments as they age- its refreshing to turn back time whilst my body is still in full working order!

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