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Letters to Sara

Truth or dare?

I'm 57 and it's pretty clear that age is a big factor in people's searches, so I will get discounted.
That's cool, but I know that I could get away with 2 or 3 years less, and that I'm in very good nick compared to most blokes my age, (I am no Adonis though!).
Is it ok to tell a little porkie in my profile? Would that be just deceitful and irritate members when they found out (I'd tell them sooner or later). Opinions please!

10 members like this.

Comments (48)

amber57 - 04 Dec, 2017 - 12:38PM

mmmmmmm...... i do not think , what age as to do with everything, people can be 18-20 and look 25-30- others can look older or younger , u do not meet the age , or the gene for that matter , you meet a person who looks nice has a nice personality , most ly can have the best sex ever and is a good friend , trust , how or why can we trust ,we all liers as we are having a affear , with a stranger , so ge trust and whatever is in questionmark should be avoided.
as we only like to have that what we do not get at home, understanding , sex, and maybe a good friendship , so age its irrelevat , if u give me and satisfie me in every aspect , why should i want to know ur age .....
Regards
Amber57

1 member likes this comment.

1187025-Deleted - 28 Nov, 2017 - 10:32PM

I am pretty sure many of us are economical with the truth on dating sites, after all its not as if we are meeting someone to marry and have their babies! I dont see the problem shaving two years or so off an age but its when it gets to 10 plus years it is rather naughty. I would not be happy to meet a guy who said he was my age but in fact looked as though he had his free bus pass! With sites like this people can tell you what they want to tell you - I have met fantasists. I am over 50 and don't consider it a problem meeting anyone - I know my own worth, am attractive and look good for my age so wont be taking years of my age.

3 members like this comment.

Sunshine6662 - 24 Nov, 2017 - 11:50PM

This is an IE sight to start off with..... As long as you are genuine with your picture and your education // general background.... One or two years hear and there about your age really don't matter....!!! This is not an advert for marriage, but women don't like to get surprises, just as men don't like to get surprises either... Moral being, be as open as you can be without causing trust issues from the start..!!

2 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 23 Nov, 2017 - 10:28PM

BrigitVinter - 22 Nov, 2017 - 09:13PM
" pretty much everyone does it to fit within a search band."
Errr nope ... some of us have our real age on the profile.

willhampshire - 21 Nov, 2017 - 09:33PM
"a lot of ladies who never get older than 51 or 52"
I've given a genuine DoB and my age goes up every year on my profile!

1 member likes this comment.

ManofBath - 23 Nov, 2017 - 01:56PM

There is enough distrust on IE without people lying about their ages...if you arent telling the truth about the basics why should they trust you (& normally both sides have plenty to lose) with the bigger stuff.

For women perhaps they can shave a few years to get themselves under a milestone age but for men I think anything but complete honesty is just an indicator for most women of further deceit and shabbiness to come.

1 member likes this comment.

BrigitVinter - 22 Nov, 2017 - 09:13PM

If I actually go past a first date, I always ask what their real age is because I assume they lied about everything except pictures and even then I've had a few pictures that were well out of date.

I assume it is pretty much all lies except for what they are looking for so I judge based on that. I don't personally feel comfortable meting anyone younger than me but that's my hang-up (which we all have).

Go on and shave 2 or 3 years off - pretty much everyone does it to fit within a search band.

2 members like this comment.

willhampshire - 21 Nov, 2017 - 09:33PM

Hello, I'm 59 and also in pretty fit shape for my age if I may say so. I have not done a statistical analysis but there appear to be a lot of ladies who never get older than 51 or 52. We all ought to look at the person and stop worrying about the number.

3 members like this comment.

Newoldmanish - 21 Nov, 2017 - 08:50PM

It's just a symptom of the dishonestly that brings us to this site. Surly we know by that, that we are all being deceitful. If we are going to be dishonest on this site it destroys the security many are seeking by using it.
Just be honest with ourselves and don't spoil everything.

1 member likes this comment.

1174807-Deleted - 20 Nov, 2017 - 11:19AM

Most men who've contacted me on here are between 45 and the golden 49, there pictures suggest they've had a really hard paper round . or where that age in the 90s . truth is always best to avoid disapointment,. And yes its not just men with pictures taken in the 80s

5 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 20 Nov, 2017 - 12:01AM

Golamm
- yes that IS why age is important. I do not wish to go out with someone 20 years younger.
For those that are not bothered, they do not look at it...

Photos are important as there are many here that claim 45 yet more realistically 65!
(I have seen those in their 60's however if it appears a person is lying about their age I move on)
On my profile I put an ISH with the age as for me it is about personality.
If someone contacts me and says I am outside of the age mentioned I consider them as they have taken the time to read my profile etc, which many do not!

For me height is not generally relevant. Someone claimed to be 5 10, yet in flat shoes I was looking down on him. A little thing yet again I did not trust him due to it (as it turned out with good reason).

I have been out and had a great time with those who are shorter / heavier /older/younger than my ideal, and several with terrible photos, yet wonderful in real life.

I have been rejected because I am not blond (as stated) !

The Actress - 17 Nov, 2017 - 12:48PM

OK knock a few years off your profile age, if you're good at maths, that is.......

Because, FROM NOW ON, you're going to have to deduct that number from every experience you ever share! Remember the Berlin Wall coming down? (when you were 5?) or the Kennedy assassinations? (Were you even born, in 1963?) You'd need a good memory to escape being outed!

I've been tempted to put my age as 115, (the maximum our dear computer accepts), then rely upon hints in my profile, and genuinely recent, photos.

What do you all think? Would that work? LOL

1 member likes this comment.

The Actress - 17 Nov, 2017 - 12:38PM

OK knock a few years off your profile age, if you're good at maths, that is.......

Because, FROM NOW ON, you're going to have to deduct that number from every experience you ever share! Remember the Berlin Wall coming down? (when you were 5?) or the Kennedy assassinations? (Were you even born, in 1963?) You'd need a good memory to escape being outed!

I've been tempted to put my age as 115, (the maximum our dear computer accepts), then rely upon hints in my profile, and genuinely recent, photos.

What do you all think; would that work? LOL

1 member likes this comment.

SouthChap - 15 Nov, 2017 - 10:11PM

My thoughts are that a few favourable years is not a big deal, as long as the photo that is shared is recent. Looks catch the eye, and everything else stimulates the mind... then what will be will be. Or am I just a romantic optimist? Smile and be happy!

3 members like this comment.

Golamm - 15 Nov, 2017 - 12:31PM

tea_coffee_me_ 6 November 2017

The point I am making is that you may not want to chat with, as you put it, 'someone the age of your son' but some people might not be bothered. What is important here is how you get on with the person and therefore their age should be irrelevant. 99.9% of the people on here are looking for an affair that will only last, and the stats shows this, on average 3 months. So ditch the age nonsense and go out and have some FUN! :)

Bad Dom - 14 Nov, 2017 - 01:33PM

I'm not sure that age is that big a factor actually. I am more interested in how somebody sounds in their profile and where they are. I went out with a lady whose profile said 51 but who turned out to be 59. I didn't mind and found it a bit of a giggle really. Perhaps it's more of a lady's prerogative to be slightly ambiguous about her age though.

1 member likes this comment.

Summerbelle - 12 Nov, 2017 - 04:05PM

I don't see why we can't have bands for ages on here like we do with height rather than have to be specific. After all, if you meet someone in real life and like the look of them the last thing on your mind is to ask how old they are - you either fancy them or you don't.

In fact I'd prefer there not to be height bands at all as there's a big difference for a female between a guy who's 5'7" and 5'11". As someone who prefers a taller man I always have to ask which end of the spectrum they are as it's not usually clear from their profile. Someone's height is far more obvious when you meet than their age and it's far more obvious if they've fibbed about it too.

Nonblonde - 11 Nov, 2017 - 05:14PM

Absolutely not.. If you were lying about your age what else would you be lying about. A lie however small, is still a lie, in my book.

Why not be honest.

3 members like this comment.

Wishonastar - 10 Nov, 2017 - 05:51PM

There's no point telling more lies, people will decide if they like the look of you,your profile and how you chat so age is irrelevant.

1 member likes this comment.

godsgiftxxx - 08 Nov, 2017 - 11:57AM

Yes, age is a factor when looking at profiles and so to is height. So here I am, a bloke who takes off 5 years because I know I can bring that off on meeting someone. The intention would be to declare my age should be come important to the parties involved.

When I look at profiles, I check out first what age bracket is sought by the profile. If I'm within a reasonable near age, I move on to the height of the lady, if she is taller than me I invariably stop reading the profile.
I am surprised at so many people (ladies) contacting me where their own profile requirements are not met by those in my own. I have pointed that up first in my replies. So that we at least at that point get off to an honest start.

2 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 06 Nov, 2017 - 11:07AM

"Golamm - 02 Nov, 2017
Why do we have to put an age on here in the first place? We are all over 18 so just chat, meet and if you like the person what the chuff does it matter the year they were born?"
... because I do not want to be wasting my time chatting to someone the age of a SON!

Also as others have said, if they are not truthful about age/height it does make you wonder what else (relevant to the affiar) they have lied about.

Affairs need to have elements of trust and honesty, ironically people are often more honest in the affair than their marriage...

7 members like this comment.

MysticalSunlight47 - 03 Nov, 2017 - 02:15PM

Thanks for this interesting letter! I try to be honest about my age, but I guess anybody can say anything they please on a profile, about age, hobbies, whatever it is can be fibbed about I suppose. I met a chap once who, when he appeared, was about my height, that is quite small, when his profile stated he was about six foot. I'm not hung up about somebody's height and he was a nice chap, but the fact he'd given false information annoyed me. If you're up-front about yourself, your info, and all really, you'd have a much better starting ground. If anybody judges anybody on their age, height, etc. that's a shame, but I find a lot of folk give false information and a lot of folk can be put off by knowing what is on a person's profile is false. I hope you find somebody great who likes you for who you are, as my dad used to say "age is a just number to all of us".... Best of luck!

3 members like this comment.

Summerbelle - 02 Nov, 2017 - 06:49PM

Does it really matter? As long as the photos are recent and you fancy them when you meet (and you'll only know if that's the case when you do meet) then whether or not they've shaved a few or more years off their age on their profile is irrelevant. After all, you're not going to be signing joint finance agreements or (heaven forbid) marriage certificates are you? LOL

5 members like this comment.

Golamm - 02 Nov, 2017 - 12:40AM

Why do we have to put an age on here in the first place? We are all over 18 so just chat, meet and if you like the person what the chuff does it matter the year they were born? Ageism is rife in our society so let's boot it out of here too!

3 members like this comment.

Milliemoosie - 01 Nov, 2017 - 11:26PM

I met a guy from a different site whose profile said he was 2 years younger than me. After a few months of seeing him he admitted that he was actually 6.5 years older. I didn't understand why he lied. He was actually 54 instead of 46 but I wasn't bothered

1787 - 01 Nov, 2017 - 10:24PM

There does appear to be a disproportionate number of people aged 49 here

6 members like this comment.

Controversy - 01 Nov, 2017 - 09:17PM

Be yourself, no point telling porkies truth will come out and then you look a fool, no fool like an old fool eh lol!

smiler461 - 01 Nov, 2017 - 01:15PM

Why lie? The truth always comes out in the end

5 members like this comment.

stevebe500 - 31 Oct, 2017 - 01:21PM

A very personal comment.

Life experience is a major part of what I am looking for in a woman; the more the better. Age of course is proportional, so I would prefer that ladies weren’t shy about their age. With age comes grace, poise, understanding, time, tranquillity, patience, generosity etc. etc.….. As for looks and figures: well we boys get older too, and with that our perception and appreciation of beautiful women changes. Given the essential core dishonesty in our situations it is a shame that some find it necessary to misrepresent one of their most important assets.

2 members like this comment.

Tuesday17 - 30 Oct, 2017 - 08:02PM

Forgive me pressed the wrong buttton, if possible mesh the two responses together.

On this letter alone I really feel the desire to unlike or disagree with many of the replies but cannot.

Whatabounder - 30 Oct, 2017 - 03:19PM

From people I have met and some I have been told about there does appear to be a fair few who don't tell the truth.

But whilst we are clearly a group of people who are used to some element of untruth in our lives I don't see the point in lying about your age in this environment.

1 member likes this comment.

sferena - 30 Oct, 2017 - 02:38PM

When I read this thread, I cringed. Not because of the thread itself.

I am 58 (true age), I fib about my age everywhere because I can. I certainly don't sound or act like someone nearing her 60s either. But I DON'T think I look as young as some people tell me I do. I'm sure I don't. I look young-ish, although I still rock a pair of jeans!

Age or aging is a relative issue. It depends on who and what age tells you look younger.
So don't get fooled!

Tell the truth only if you feel comfortable to. However, if you knock more than10 years off your age, be careful. You will certainly get caught as someone on here said. Unless you are planning to write a book, you don't want to rewrite or restructure your whole past. Leave that for the future. Or for fiction if you are a writer.

3 members like this comment.

Perfect moments - 30 Oct, 2017 - 10:42AM

I think it's best to be honest. You will only get found out in the end.
People will like you for who you are and not your age. Age is only a number...
All the very best of luck to you.

4 members like this comment.

aelius - 29 Oct, 2017 - 11:19PM

Is it okay to tell a porkie in your profile? .... sorry I've gotta stop, I can't type while I'm falling about laughing ...

2 members like this comment.

Angelsmile72 - 29 Oct, 2017 - 09:23PM

To be honest your better off staying truthful. Believe me there are guys on here way older. Ive met a guy your age. I would normally have passed him by. We met and the spark was there from the start he's no adonis he'd admit that like I'm not exactly a supermodel but we've clicked. Just keep at it you'll soon find that special someone. Maybe re read your profile as a woman searching for someone.

1 member likes this comment.

Sexybexy - 29 Oct, 2017 - 02:57PM

Since I joined this site I have met up with guys who are 5'2" instead of the 6' they have pretended to be, others whose pics were at least 5 years out of date (most of whom now look like aged walruses), and even one who boasted he had a penis larger than Errol Flynn's. Needless to say our relationships have all been very short! So, on the one hand I'd say that most men seem to be economical with the truth on this site, so you might as well tell the odd fib yourself. On the other I would advocate telling the truth, especially if you want long term relationships. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with being 57. I'm 62 and have no trouble at all getting dates, especially with younger men!

3 members like this comment.

Tuesday17 - 29 Oct, 2017 - 02:17PM

Truth always, why not put it in your profile, that way you have been honest and you could offer to provide your password to further prove your point.
In my opinion though 2 or 3 Years is neither here nor there if the rest works for me,

Could it be? - 29 Oct, 2017 - 01:21PM

Well i met a lady on here 4 years ago and we were together for three wonderful years, at the time she said she was 43 but was actually 49.... it did us no harm and we had a wonderful time together. Hope this helps.

1 member likes this comment.

Vive la Difference! - 29 Oct, 2017 - 01:19PM

Ha. No porkies, you always get found out! I've had men skim 15 years off their age. Ok, physically they might have got away with it, but attitude and demeanour are a dead giveaway. Other tell tale signs are mentioning ages of 'kids'. Honestly, the amount of members that must have had kids in their teens! Do the maths if you must lie!

3 members like this comment.

givemeawhirl - 28 Oct, 2017 - 10:26PM

I personally think that honesty is the best policy. I also think that a few of the fellas shave a couple of years off.
It's a tricky one but I suppose it would be disappointing to find out you had told a porkie although let us not forget where we are.
More of a ramble than anything else I'm afraid.

Minhotep - 28 Oct, 2017 - 05:27PM

No lies. I'm six years older than you and live in a relatively remote area and I get enough interest from the ladies. Having said that I do seem to be attracting mostly girls young enough to be my daughter. Ho hum, I just have to put up with that :-). But seriously, we on this site are all telling some lies to those in our lives who are not on this site. I think it's vitally important that we keep some honesty among ourselves.

tea_coffee_me_ - 28 Oct, 2017 - 11:17AM

Tell the truth, many on here claim to be 45ish ... well they must have had a very hard paper round! with the odd stint in a mill and a mine!

When I started looking to be a mistress, I put my mind on a different level, and added another 10 years or so on to who I had planned to date for husband material.

Its an affair, not to be married to for the rest of your life!

Adding that option of years works well, (I had been nervous thinking of older it would not work however) the men have the maturity (experience) and financial ability to have (afford) a mistress.

For me there has been little difference between a 43 year old and a 57 (65) year old. It really has been down, for me, to personality! Some men I have had wonderful times with had had really terrible photos too!

Beware many women also take years from their age! I have not, I do not see the point...

1 member likes this comment.

Gymfit8 - 28 Oct, 2017 - 10:31AM

I think honesty is the best policy, I never lied in my profile. The right person will come along.

I remember meeting someone who had met someone that had lied about her age and he was not impressed, so take note!

Twilight Lady - 27 Oct, 2017 - 10:29PM

Women do it all the time.... shave a couple of years off! Age is just a number on a piece of paper. Some people are old at 50 and others young at 70..all depends on your sttitude to life.
One guy was cross when he discovered ihad lied about my age....before we met!
I challenged him to meet....and he was suitably chastened.
We went on to have a fab fling!

1 member likes this comment.

FineBanker - 27 Oct, 2017 - 10:10PM

I say honesty is the best policy... even on here!

Secondhand Rose - 27 Oct, 2017 - 09:34PM

I don't know what you're worrying about, TBH

If you really aren't just kidding yourself, then go with your perceived age, and the devil take chronology!

My Mother used to take an old lady out for a nice pub meal, every Friday, in her 3L automatic Sierra (the one with the tinted windows).........Back home she'd look under all the old lady's beds for burglars and tuck her in with a cup of cocoa.

Then the old lady died---she was 65, My Mother, at the time, was 82!

I rest my case!!

3 members like this comment.

FineBanker - 27 Oct, 2017 - 04:40PM

I would suggest that although this site is full to bursting with people who are not necessarily being 100% honest in their 'real' lives, they are probably not going to take kindly to having their time wasted by fibs on IE... put your real age, make some connections and see how things pan out.. In my experience, many women on here are fairly open minded anyway.

Good luck!

3 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 27 Oct, 2017 - 04:05PM

I have my correct age on my profile even though I can easily go at least ten years younger [not my own opinion but from those who have met me in person] ... however, I have chosen not to ... I just don't see the point.

That is my personal choice but I would say many here, both male and female, have lied about their age on the profile ... I have met some of the men who did confess to their real age at first meet though. Not sure if any of the women do.

At the end of the day, it's up to you whether or not you want to "tell a little porkie" regarding your age on your profile.

1 member likes this comment.

neversayneveragain - 27 Oct, 2017 - 04:00PM

good question - I am of the same age and without doubt, age is a massive issue, no anti discrimination policy here :-), and if you out the age range, then basically, no chance. And actually nothing wrong with that, people here for what they want. However, I have been told on several occasions that I look younger and that's good for the ladies whose age range I match, and I benefit as a result. I think you should stay honest (however ridiculous that sounds for this site) as not good to start on the wrong foot, if you mislead on one issue where does it stop?

2 members like this comment.

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