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Letters to Sara


I have been on IE before and other sites and have noticed some men listing
their 'type' when it comes to women. I'm sure some women do too, but I
don't look at their profiles.

I can understand types when it comes to long term commitments and meeting
friends and family. If you are meeting someone for chats and sexual fun,
does it matter what colour hair they have, if they are petite or large,
surely their personality and sexual chemistry is more important!

I understand people have their own tastes and types, we all do, but if you
limit yourself to your own favourite type, you could be missing out on
something that could be really enjoyable.

Not sure if anyone else has mentioned this, but would like to know other
people's opinions.


40 members like this.

Comments (53)

710392-Deleted - 04 Oct, 2017 - 03:55PM

Late to the party - but yes, anyone who says that a"type" isn't important is deluding themselves.

Yes I'm one of those who wants to meet a tall dark handsome millionaire, but I know that the latter is extremely unlikely, and the only one of the otter three that is really important to me is the tall - as a tall lady myself, I prefer someone taller than me....

Photos can mislead, be out of date, and even be of someone else, as I found out on one aborted meeting..... but they are a first introduction to a potential partner, and a means of recognising the person you are meeting, and for me anyway, they let me know whether I am attracted to a potential partner..... I'm not looking for a matinee idol, but there has to be something there which makes me go wow! If it isn't there, it's not likely to be worth my while, as I need to feel some sort of attraction to the man I take to bed.

1 member likes this comment.

Chantell1 - 20 Sep, 2017 - 10:49AM

your name says it all, I don't think you need to put a profile type.

2 members like this comment.

1170630-Deleted - 07 Sep, 2017 - 10:44AM

I think for an IE 'type' is very important. If I'm going to do this, she's going to be worth the risk of infidelity etc. So yes whilst chemistry/personality is also important, if she's not my type, then I won't indulge.

1 member likes this comment.

wodge - 26 Aug, 2017 - 02:41PM

Perhaps we should all list our dislikes rather than our likes. Having a joint dislike of something may be a better way of finding a match than what we individually like. :)


1 member likes this comment.

politody - 23 Aug, 2017 - 08:08PM

something that really annoys me, is when you kick of a conversation, all very polite, you provide a photo password, then when you ask some time later what the other person thought, you can't even ask them because you've been blocked ! That's far more annoying than silence or the usual "not my type" comment. At least the latter have had the cojones to say what they think... but being blocked ? Only cowards do that.. but hey ho, such is the internet ...

2 members like this comment.

ExoticPie - 16 Aug, 2017 - 10:19PM

A "Type" is very important to me as I am not looking for a boyfriend or husband. If one is going to cheat might as go for something bit more they would otherwise settle for..

I have not been successful in finding what I really desire but that's fine with me.

3 members like this comment.

1077094-Deleted - 16 Aug, 2017 - 11:50AM

We all have our imagined preferences but I love being wrong! The much overused word 'chemistry' recognises the packaging is a poor guide to the perfume.....

FriendlySteve - 16 Aug, 2017 - 11:35AM

The impression I have gained here is that most of the women are looking for a well off man over six feet tall ( even if they are only five feet tall themselves ) and a bit younger.

I am very pleased to say that I have no "type" in mind and would happily meet anyone of any race, shape or height. It would not even bother me meeting anyone that I had not seen a picture of before.

But then I am a man and have to live in the real world where women have these preset ideas of how their ideal man will look. That's fine for those few men who meet the height, wealth and attractiveness they expect.

The rest of us have to be totally average as we were born. All we can do is to keep our hair tidy, shower and use a little aftershave.

3 members like this comment.

SoftToffee - 16 Aug, 2017 - 04:59AM

Yes, I do have a type. Good conversationalist, not miserable, and interesting. I would never say looks are unimportant. I would be lying, but Personality still plays a large factor for me. I vir to the so called cuddly, few extra pounds that some men on this site seem to ignore or take delight in demeaning. Anything else in cream on top

1157303-Deleted - 29 Jul, 2017 - 03:35PM

Difficult to define type, as there are always going to be differentials with the categorisation you try to define, the more you define type, the more you will exclude from your end goal, phew, hope that makes sense!

GT3Girl - 24 Jul, 2017 - 11:12AM

I think your right. But people who list types don't put me off. I think it's more a guide for most people. Some people just find something more attractive than others I guess. my advice is if you like the profile put yourself out there and see what happens.

1 member likes this comment.

1156705-Deleted - 23 Jul, 2017 - 11:13AM

I used to think i had a type, until i met someone on here who wasn't the kind of guy i usually go for. I found him very attractive. I think it pays to relax your rules somewhat. The right person for you could be overlooked down to something arbitrary like height, or body type. Live a little :)

6 members like this comment.

Viking17 - 22 Jul, 2017 - 09:10PM

I think half the reason that we are on this site is because we went for a certain type and look where it has got us.

Have you open your minds up as you never know what you could be missing

4 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 19 Jul, 2017 - 08:41AM

You might not agree, ladies, but I have to agree with adrian_0071. When it comes to looks, we are more selective on sites such as this. Just think of the biological essence of men and the main reason they are here. They can't be too fussy! The young ones, maybe. The body-perfect ones, who knows? But in general, women tend to be fussier. If we are here to sin, we think we have to do it in style. If we are here in search of a difference to what we have at home, we might as well choose our model carefully. Hey, it doesn't mean we are all looking for an Adonis, no way. Most of us run away from this type. However, we want to find that attraction first- sexual, physical and a sort of connection, which does not necessarily involve commitment(they are two different things!).

Just for the records- I'm not saying men never look for the same we do, but many know time is money and just want to obey their basic needs.

10 members like this comment.

adrian_0071 - 16 Jul, 2017 - 05:03PM

hi , well perhaps we should talk as I totally agree! I am afraid that the ladies are as bad as the men if not worse , most common are must be over 6ft and very solvent , whatever happenend to good old fashioned fun !

on the getting found out side , make a seperate email address , get a pay as you go mobile or use kik , always have a reason to be where you are going to meet someone , never reveal your true address and behave in public , keep the intimate stuff behind closed doors . better to eat in the sort of place where its not suspicious such as pubs , intimate posh places are to obvious and anyway far to stuck up to have in !

4 members like this comment.

1126326-Deleted - 15 Jul, 2017 - 04:14PM

Of course it matters!

Ridiculous to think otherwise.

I like very tall, slim men.

I'm hardly going to meet a short, fat man.

Or should I say 'very cuddly'. Come on.

10 members like this comment.

1125409-Deleted - 11 Jul, 2017 - 11:00PM

Sorry Op .. But regardless of what means I am using there has to be chemistry. Mental and physical ..

2 members like this comment.

1113368-Deleted - 07 Jul, 2017 - 03:52PM

I've been taken aback by how many women here do review your profile and then check pictures and respond 'Not my type' and drop the conversation

I must be doing something wrong as my pics are a high res version of whats on my profile, which is more than can be said for many others, which are low res, soft focus and typically 5+ years old...

2 members like this comment.

Passionata22 - 02 Jul, 2017 - 05:14PM

We are all entitled to find certain people attractive and not others.

6 members like this comment.

Harlot73 - 21 Jun, 2017 - 12:25PM

I'm explicit as to what type I am in order to deter the real shallow types from messaging me.
I am open about attraction as that's me and how I am so I state that.

2 members like this comment.

amber57 - 20 Jun, 2017 - 09:22AM

Well i go normal for personality , they person has to be just himself, sure i would like to meet a guy who has or is a bit taller as i , 1.80 me , some people do not like tall women, never thought about TYPE,as long he is clean, can laugh, good conversation. and
makes me laugh , and not constant winching about his wife, fine with me!
just be as you are !

Friend2Hug - 15 Jun, 2017 - 11:37AM

< politody - 12 Jun, 2017 - 08:03PM
... what type of person behaves like that, as though they have multiple personalities !?? >

That's the internet for you - for lots of people, basic decency and politeness are optional extras.

5 members like this comment.

Blossom Reborn - 13 Jun, 2017 - 07:15PM

Could we al please forget about "type", (as if it were a dirty word)! I think we all DO have a "type".

That "type" may be concerned with looks; it may be concerned with sex appeal; it may be what's between the ears that attracts, but when all things are considered there's always something which attracts us to one another, and that's our TYPE!

OK, so it changes from time to time, and liaison to liaison, (and why shouldn't it?), but, at the end of the day, we have our preferences; our types; and that's absolutely fine!

So if you want to have a laugh round the pub on a Saturday night, I'll happily join in, but if you spend that night cheering on a bloody, (literally) prize fight where two fit young men knock seven bells out of one another in the name of sport---I'm not your type!! LOL

4 members like this comment.

politody - 12 Jun, 2017 - 08:03PM

I know this is a bit off topic, but what kind of person develops some conversation, swaps quite a few messages, then happily swaps photo passwords and the messages continue, then decides it would be a good idea to meet - even suggests it first - then next when you go to message them to say "Hi, how was your day..." etc, you find you have been blocked - no apparent reason, out of the blue, even though that person has either agreed to meet up or even suggested it !!! what type of person behaves like that, as though they have multiple personalities !??

11 members like this comment.

bemygoddessbemymuse - 12 Jun, 2017 - 05:36PM

Am going for the bad types myself.

2 members like this comment.

secret.wish - 12 Jun, 2017 - 09:50AM

I'm all for not being fixed on a type, but if your profile picture is of svelt attractive thin blonde and you describe yourself as a 'young at heart 45 year old that doesn't look your age" and when you finally get to share a real picture you are nothing like, then please don't be surprised if interest fades. That's not because looks matter, it's because I'd rather not meet someone dillusional.

5 members like this comment.

Thumos - 10 Jun, 2017 - 10:41PM

That's an interesting one.

Speaking as a bloke, the usual stereotypes will always grab my attention immediately - tall, slim, likes wearing lingerie & heels, cliche, cliche, etc., etc...

In real life, however, I have found that activity between the ears has most enduring appeal for me, so I tend to suggest it's coffee time if we have shared passwords and I have not been (hopefully politely) turned down at that stage.

At this point it becomes about 'who you are', so I suggest the coffee meet has a few 'rules':

1) I won't try to impress you.
2) Don't try to impress me.
3) No pressure or expectations either way.

That way Thumos and You can get to find out a little about who each other is.

That gives us both the opportunity to find an unexpected type that works each other...

3 members like this comment.

Timeowt - 10 Jun, 2017 - 05:07PM

I can't say that I have a type, lifes about living, discovering and experimenting. When she comes along I guess I'll know, but then we'll have to see if the feeling is mutual. It's better to be open than closed in these things I think....

2 members like this comment.

Speaknow - 09 Jun, 2017 - 12:38PM

Just for fun46 hits it on the head. My very first lover on here....over seven years ago ....was met blind. If I'd seen a photo first I doubt I would have been so keen. I'm glad I didn't see one as we had two wonderful years .
Now I NEVER judge a profile by a photo. Such a shame that that's almost ALL most ladies judge on.

1 member likes this comment.

Just for fun46 - 09 Jun, 2017 - 10:45AM

I thought I had a type but met up blind a lovely man who normally I wouldn't have looked at but we hit it off and have been on a few dates/meets whichever you would like to call them. So don't always go for a type you may miss that perfect match.

7 members like this comment.

aelius - 08 Jun, 2017 - 02:41PM


".. sparks from a photo". Most of the photos visible on here are faceless avatars. Now I've held tinder (the flammable type, not the 'netflicks and chill type) close to my screen, I've even moved my screen over to my gas oven and try as I may I can't light either - no feckin' spark!

Now a face might attract (hardly a spark though, not even an ember) a profile may raise interest or disdain *(as mine has done) but unless there is some content behind any email correspondence, then type is irrelevant.

Do men really want a vacuous air head with big assets (maybe if you're boat has been struck and you can't find a life vest).. I know what I prefer, wisdom, charm, intellect her own Aston Martin.

Type, equals fluffery - it's something you do on a keyboard.

6 members like this comment.

Lilit - 08 Jun, 2017 - 02:37PM

I have a type...
All my life I was involved with not my type...
I was taught that everything else is more important and I should not be so shallow... I was not... But now I am...Sorry for those who does not like it...
I met few, who was not my type...and realized...they were not...
I also was lucky enough to meet some who wee my type...

3 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 08 Jun, 2017 - 12:18PM

harry9999 - 07 Jun, 2017 - 10:23PM
"if the spark is not there from a photo then it's not going to happen"

I have met people whose photos didn't light any spark at all but found the spark in "real life" ...

9 members like this comment.

tea_coffee_me_ - 08 Jun, 2017 - 10:27AM

"harry9999 - 07 Jun, 2017 - 10:23PM
Hi all, women do have a 'type' just as us males do, if the spark is not there from a photo then it's not going to happen and it is a shame that we all here are based on a few pics and lines ? I'm not photogenic and look better in real life, they say the camera doesn't lie"

I disagree.
One of the best first messages that I had was from someone who only had one photo and it was not that good.

The messages were very good fun though.

When we met up and chatting, he, I feel summed it up quite well... we have 43 facial muscles, a camera captures a moment or a section, so often seeing and chatting with someone it can be very different.
From my maybe's there isnt a spark and there was not from his photo. His humour and when we meet up, very different.

2 members like this comment.

1143091-Deleted - 07 Jun, 2017 - 10:23PM

Hi all, women do have a 'type' just as us males do, if the spark is not there from a photo then it's not going to happen and it is a shame that we all here are based on a few pics and lines ? I'm not photogenic and look better in real life, they say the camera doesn't lie, in my case it should be imprisoned for perjury...

7 members like this comment.

duritz - 07 Jun, 2017 - 06:58PM

Yes the ladies on here are very picky with looks, not my type is a common reply. They seem to be looking for George Clooney, he isn't on here just normal blokes like me who will make you smile and feel wanted. But, unfortunately so many just put, not my type

1 member likes this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 07 Jun, 2017 - 05:56PM

tea_coffee_me_ - 07 Jun, 2017 - 04:02PM
"All the men I see are very different, I do not care what anyone says most have some sort of 'no' section."

Agree but surely having some sort of "no" section is different to having a "type" ... for example I might not like a moustache or beard on one person but like it on another?

tea_coffee_me_ - 07 Jun, 2017 - 04:02PM

I know I have sort of answered this before.

I do not have a specific 'type', and for affairs I have a wider criteria than for a relationship. For an affair I have added on a few years, and yes will accept a 'few' more pounds but only a few.

For affair or relationship when looking at photos, either first or if they send a message first, they fall into 3 categories, no, maybe, yes.

All but one of the men I have (had) an affair with have been maybe's one was a yes.
Many of the men I like the look of they do not like me, or have gone silent once numbers have been exchanged!

All the men I see are very different, I do not care what anyone says most have some sort of 'no' section.

4 members like this comment.

Eastend Gent - 07 Jun, 2017 - 01:28PM

Looking at the variety of women I find attractive , it is obvious I don't have a physical type .
But the personality , yes they have to have a sexuality to them , whether that be sauciness or coy .

1 member likes this comment.

amber57 - 07 Jun, 2017 - 11:50AM

Well,as i am a tall lady,i lost a lot of weight over 6 month ,as some one mentioned ,larger sizes had 44DD,and hated it!
i like the personality in Men ,their minds and more.
still would go for tall guys ,as it would be weird ,a lady 5.10m going out with a men smaller as her.

Rosie06 - 06 Jun, 2017 - 07:59PM

Oh come on. How many of us have turned up for the 'social' meeting and drunk the coffee so fast that we have lost at least 3 layers of inner cheek tissue, then made excuses and exited stage left!!
So yes I do have a type, and I'm sure most of us do, and for a mutually satisfying relationship/encounter there has to be a physical attraction.
To sustain the relationship then personality, shared interests, humour have to be factored in.

6 members like this comment.

1147978-Deleted - 06 Jun, 2017 - 05:36PM

Yes, I agree with your basic point... though I've no idea what the guys write in their profiles. Personally, I don't have a "type" but I do tend to "fancy" the larger lady. But in truth I think the woman's personality is key here... Yes, I know some people do not believe in "personality" over "physical" attraction. But I generally find that I am attracted to a wide variety of different women and it really does tend to be the ladies personality that tips the balance - at least for me, anyway. I think the whole purpose of IE membership is to look for a different experience, and to "have" a different experience you need to go beyond "types". I think as far as IE is concerned you just need to have an open mind.

3 members like this comment.

Herts50 - 06 Jun, 2017 - 02:13PM

Yes it does matter, personally hair colour or height isn't a factor for me but body size is. I'm attracted to slim/athletic women. I'm not here to collect notches so I won't try and date every woman on this site in the hope of bedding someone i wouldn't be attracted to in real life

6 members like this comment.

1142400-Deleted - 06 Jun, 2017 - 02:11PM

@Raquel12 completely true & pithily put...being selective is human nature. Of course we should look beyond narrow stereotypes to see the prince/princess beneath but if once that has been done the spark isn't there we move on.

1 member likes this comment.

1143091-Deleted - 06 Jun, 2017 - 01:09PM

If meeting for sexual encounters, I always take a brown paper bag with me, at some stage one of us will be wearing it....

17 members like this comment.

NikViking - 06 Jun, 2017 - 12:05PM

Seriously, I've lost count of how many times I've been told I'm not someone's "type". So women definitely have a "type" too.

4 members like this comment.

Raquel12 - 06 Jun, 2017 - 11:40AM

I don't care what colour my vibrator is. I don't have to kiss it or talk to it later. However, its size matters, as it has to fit my anatomy and it is not going to take me out for dinner before or after ;P Seriously, being selective is human nature and it's important for me to fancy the person I'm going to have sex with.

16 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 06 Jun, 2017 - 10:32AM

I can honestly say I am now old enough to realise that I don't have a "type" ... all depends on the individual and as such, essential to meet in person sooner than later ... my only criteria is age as anyone under 40 would be too young for me as far as I am concerned ... I don't have a Mrs Robinson complex and also, I don't want to be on some young guy's Bucket List to be ticked off!!!

7 members like this comment.

Boredman535 - 06 Jun, 2017 - 09:55AM

I guess it depends what pushes your buttons. Men I would say are, by their very nature, very open visual stimulus. Personally I have to find someone attractive (whatever that means to me) in order to take things further than chatting.

4 members like this comment.

1142400-Deleted - 06 Jun, 2017 - 09:51AM

I think we are all allowed to state a type because without being over analytical there is often a discernible pattern in those we each find attractive. If its just chat someone ios after then perhaps this can be overlooked but if someone is looking for a short or long term partner they've got to get that spark of attraction...without it the encounter becomes pointless. We are all taking risks and puuting significan effort into finding our "significant other" so it only makes sense to have them be someone we fancy the pants off.

That said I do find it odd personally when men state they prefer blonde or brunette, tall or short, white or black....to me these are arbitrary ways to choose a lover. However thats probably just me and each to their own. My own preference and I'm not ashamed to state it is liking intelligent sparky women with slim/athletic bodies...whats not to adore in a beautifully curved & lingeried bum! Too much to ask...I'm still hoping and looking.

4 members like this comment.

mistinthesea - 06 Jun, 2017 - 08:48AM

hmmm, I think the opposite. Personality is for long term relationships. Here, you've got to find someone you fancy. Chemistry is important, I agree. Once there is chemistry, looks can be irrelevant. However, there's nothing wrong with looking for someone who is going to ignite your fantasy. If I like well-built strong men, a thin-waif guy will not get me excited, sorry. He may later but if it's not to last, may we be choosy if we want to.

4 members like this comment.

1086543-Deleted - 06 Jun, 2017 - 08:36AM

I had posted a similar thread on ethnicity. I agree with you, I find it pointless to stick to a standard mould for a potential IE. For me personally, it kind of defeats the purpose of exploring and pushing boundaries.

2 members like this comment.

barrymat23 - 06 Jun, 2017 - 08:33AM

Let's be honest. Your not my type seems to stem from that little low-res picture we exchange with each other.

If that's not to someone's liking then game over. No amount of wit or charm or sparkling personality is going to change that......not that there is anything wrong with that. We all have the right to say no.

I have...in the past had great rapport with someone....exchanged pws and then got shot down. So now I usually send my pw within the first message or 2, get it out of the way quickly.

I sound like I'm moaning....im not....i love this site!!!

5 members like this comment.

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