Brits split over what REALLY counts as cheating – and there’s no going back if you do this one thing

* New research reveals Brits are far more forgiving of digital slip‑ups than physical or emotional betrayals.

* Liking photos and harmless crushes top the list, while emotional affairs rank as the hardest to excuse.

* Experts say the findings show how modern couples draw very different lines between impulsive mistakes and deeper breaches of trust.

* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

New research has revealed the nation’s surprisingly forgiving hierarchy when it comes to infidelity – and it turns out not all cheating is created equal.

The poll of 2,000 Brits conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, asked respondents to choose the single most forgivable form of cheating from a list of seven common betrayals. 

At the softer end of the scale, liking photos on social media emerged as the most forgivable behaviour, with 29% of people saying they could let it slide. 

18% said they could forgive their partner for having a crush on a work colleague, suggesting that fleeting feelings are seen as human – as long as they don’t turn into action.

Things became murkier when digital behaviour turned more intimate. Flirty texting with an ex was considered forgivable by 15%, while having a dating app profile – even without meeting anyone – was acceptable to 14% of respondents. 

Physical cheating proved harder to excuse. Kissing someone else was seen as forgivable by 11%, but only 9% said they could move past a one‑night stand or sex with someone else. 

The least forgivable act of all was an emotional affair, with only 4% saying they’d be able to look past it.

Sex and relationship expert at IllicitEncounters.com, Jessica Leoni, believes the findings highlight how differently people define betrayal. “Cheating isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept anymore,” she said. “For some couples, liking a photo is meaningless. For others, it’s the start of a slippery slope. What this research shows is that people draw their red lines in very different places.”

She added that emotional infidelity can sometimes cut deeper than physical acts.“Many people see sex as a moment of weakness, particularly if alcohol or circumstance is involved,” Jessica explained. “But emotional affairs require time, secrecy and sustained investment. That’s often why they feel more threatening – they suggest a partner’s attention and affection are being redirected.”

One 34-year-old woman from Manchester, who asked not to be named, said she chose to forgive her husband after he admitted to a drunken one-night stand.

“It was devastating at first,” she said. “But when we talked it through, I realised it hadn’t been about feelings – it was a stupid decision in a single moment. What would have hurt more is if he’d been confiding in someone else for months behind my back.”

Leoni added that forgiveness often depends on context. “People are more likely to forgive something they can rationalise,” she said. “If it feels impulsive, they may see it as salvageable. But if it feels calculated or emotionally invested, it can be harder to come back from.”

Results

Which of these do you consider the most forgivable?

  • Liking photos on social media 29%
  • Having a crush on a work colleague 18%
  • Flirty texting with an ex 15%
  • Having a dating app profile 14%
  • Kissing someone else 11%
  • Sex with someone else 9%
  • An emotional affair 4%

Revealed: What Brits Will – and Won’t – Forgive When It Comes to Cheating

* 71% of Brits say they would never fully forgive a partner for cheating.

* Only 12% believe a relationship can recover completely after infidelity.

* A drunken kiss is the most forgivable form of betrayal, with 89% saying they could overlook it.

* Poll conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading married dating site.

Can someone who cheats on their partner ever be trusted again? That’s the question at the heart of Netflix’s Cheat: Unfinished Business, which reunites eight ex-couples torn apart by infidelity to see if forgiveness – and even love – can be salvaged. But a new poll suggests the odds aren’t good.

A new poll involving 2,500 people (split evenly between men and women) by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading married dating site, has revealed that 71% of its members would end their relationship immediately if their partner was unfaithful. 

Despite their own involvement in affairs, only 12% of respondents said they believed couples can “fully recover” from cheating once the trust has been broken. Interestingly, the poll found that men were slightly more open to reconciliation than women: 38% of male respondents said they had previously forgiven a cheating partner and stayed together, compared to just 17% of women.

When it came to what kind of cheating people might actually forgive, the results were striking. A drunken kiss was seen as the most forgivable form of betrayal, with 89% saying they could potentially overlook it. Sexting followed at 66%, while just over half (51%) saying they could move past a partner secretly using dating apps. 

More subtle betrayals – like “micro-cheating” (flirty messaging, liking provocative posts, or maintaining ambiguous friendships) – were forgivable for 39%. But forgiveness dropped off sharply when it came to physical or emotional intimacy: only 23% said they could get over a one-night stand, and just 17% said the same for emotional cheating. Full sexual intimacy saw forgiveness plummet to just 9%, while paying for sex was seen as the most unacceptable breach – with only 3% saying they could ever look past it.

The idea of revenge after betrayal proved to be a divisive topic, with one in four people (24%) admitting they would consider “cheating back” if they found out their partner had strayed. 

The results also show a generational divide: Gen Z were the most likely to forgive infidelity (39%), followed by Baby Boomers (25%), Gen X (19%) and Millennials (17%). 

Geography played a role too – the Welsh were revealed as the least forgiving nation (36%), while the Scots topped the charts for being open to giving cheaters another shot (55%).

Jessica Leoni, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com, said: “You might expect our members to be more open-minded about infidelity – but the opposite is true. What this poll shows is that even among people who stray, betrayal cuts deep. Trust is complex, and once broken, it’s rarely rebuilt. Netflix’s Cheat: Unfinished Business tackles exactly this issue – and our results show just how unlikely it is for couples to come back from that kind of rupture.”

Types of infidelity people are most likely to forgive:
Drunken kiss – 89%
Sexting – 66%
Secret use of dating apps – 51%
Micro-cheating – 39%
One-night-stand – 23%
Emotional cheating – 17%
Sexual intimacy – 9%
Paying for sex – 3%

Ages most likely to forgive infidelity
Gen Z – 39%
Baby Boomers – 25%
Gen X – 19%
Millennials – 17%

Country most likely to forgive infidelity
Scotland – 45%
England – 27%
Northern Ireland – 18%
Wales – 10%

Fatal Attraction – Cheaters less likely to forgive partner’s infidelity

* 78% of people would not forgive their partner if they found out they were being unfaithful

* Poll finds sex, kissing and sexting to be the top three acts considered cheating

* Study released by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

 
With the release of the new ‘Fatal Attraction’ TV series on Paramount+ on the 1st May, the reboot has led to the topic of infidelity being on everyone’s lips.

The modern reimagining of the cult film tells the story of Dan Gallagher, a man who has a passionate affair with a woman (Alex) whilst the wife (Beth) is away. Admittedly, it all goes a bit pear-shaped, when Alex becomes the original ‘bunny boiler’ in the infamously hare-raising scene and well… you know the rest. Ultimately, though, Dan’s wife forgives the affair.

In stark contrast, a recent poll by IllicitEncounters.com, of 2000 members, found that a massive 78% of people WOULDN’T forgive their partner’s infidelity, despite the fact they themselves are users of the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.

When asked which acts they considered to be cheating, 100% of people said sex, declaring it undeniably the ultimate deceit.

Kissing followed, with 69% of people believing a snog is a step too far, whilst 47% said sexting was considered an unfaithful act.

On the other hand, chatting online with someone (32%), flirting (16%) and keeping in touch with an ex (15%) was deemed more acceptable, with fewer people considering it cheating.

Peter, a member of IllicitEncounters.com said “No one wants to know they’re being cheated on. Personally, I wouldn’t forgive my wife if I found out she was having an affair and I know that sounds rich coming from someone who is actually cheating, but I just don’t think I could bear the thought of her being with someone else. I’d be asking for a divorce straight away, and I think she’d do the same, which is why I’m being so discreet about my shenanigans.”

Jen, another user of the site, said “Ignorance is bliss. I’d be much happier not knowing that my husband’s having an affair. If he told me he was seeing someone else I’d then constantly be thinking about where he is and who he’s with, so I’ll firmly keep my head in the clouds.”

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert for IllicitEncounters.com, says “What is and isn’t considered cheating is incredibly subjective. Whilst one person might not have an issue with their partner keeping in touch with an old flame, other people just can’t stand the thought of it.

It’s no surprise that all members surveyed considered having sex with someone else as cheating, but the fact that the majority of those polled wouldn’t be able to forgive a cheating partner was rather shocking. It turns out people who are unfaithful have double standards when it comes to having affairs, and finding out their partner’s cheating is a hard pill to swallow.”


Results

Would you forgive your partner if you discovered they were cheating?

No – 78%
Yes – 16%
Unsure – 6%


What do you consider to be cheating? 

Sexual activity – 100%
Kissing – 69%
Sexting – 47%
Chatting online – 32%
Flirting – 16%
Keeping in touch with an ex – 15%
Other – 12%

2 out of 3 adulterers have a happy marriage – but cheat anyway

* 2 out of 3 adulterers have a happy marriage
* British loverats claim  ‘An affair improved my marriage’ 
* A cheating husband or wife would be heartbroken if their spouse was also unfaithful – and would be unlikely to forgive them
*Results from a survey of 800 adulterers from the UK’s leading married dating site IllicitEncounters.com

Unhappy people cheat – wrong! Infidelity strikes in happy marriages. 

IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading dating site for married people, surveyed 800 people currently having an affair to discover what led them to cheat in the first place and the results will shock you. 

Turns out that a marriage does not have to be a trainwreck for cheating to be prevalent as 67% of men and women admit they are actually happy in their marriages. 

77% of the respondents claim an affair has even improved their marriage.

79% of those polled said they would never consider leaving their partner even if they met somebody they really liked.

94% of people currently cheating on their spouse would feel heartbroken if they discovered their husband or wife was also cheating on them, and a whopping 82% said they could not forgive the transgression. 

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com, said ‘I’m not entirely shocked that happy people cheat, if you’re unhappy your mind is elsewhere – there’s no way you could compartmentalise an affair. People in unhappy marriages usually lack confidence, they can be stressed and depressed – not really first date material. 

Often our members come from happy homes where the spark may have gone out – they still get on with their husbands or wives and enjoy their marital lives. Adulterers don’t want to leave their partners, they just want some extra spice and adventure in their lives.’

Members of IllicitEncounters.com speak out below: 

Natalie, 40, Sussex

‘My husband and I have built the perfect life together. I adore my husband. He is good-looking, successful, a great father – and totally devoted to our family. Jack’s the polar opposite, he keeps me on my toes. He’s flirty, cheeky and kinky. At home I have love, safety and stability. With Jack I have lust, adventure and spontaneity. I think it’s natural for us to be curious and crave variety. Jack is my lover, nothing more, he is not husband material. I wouldn’t trade my husband for the world.’

Jamie, 55, Manchester

‘Me and my wife get on really well, we have a strong connection and lots in common, the same morals and values – well, besides my affair, which if she found out would destroy her. I have had a number of affairs over the years because our sex life is non existent. We still sleep in the same bed, kiss, cuddle. It’s rare it goes any further than that. I’m fit and healthy and I’m not ready to give up on sex.’
 

Results:

Are you happy in your marriage?

67% Yes
33% No

Has an affair improved your marriage?

77% Yes
23% No

If you met somebody you really liked – would you ever consider leaving your spouse?

21% Yes
79% No

Would you be heartbroken if you discovered your spouse was cheating on you?

94% Yes
6% No

Would you forgive your spouse if you discovered that they were unfaithful?

18% Yes
82% No

NOTES TO EDITOR
IllicitEncounters.com is the UK’s leading dating website for married people and the leading authority on infidelity. With over 1,000,000 genuine UK users since 2004, you’re sure to find your perfect match.

Established in 2004, we have been providing a meeting place for like-minded married and attached people for nearly 12 years. Our members have one thing in common – they are all looking for a little romance outside their current relationship. Whether that’s the occasional bit of flirtatious chat, a regular coffee date, or a full-blown affair, that’s up to them.

Check out what our users are saying to each other in our live Lockdown Forum: www.illicitencounters.com/lockdown/pr

Username: pr
Password: openthel0ck4me

We’re always more than happy to talk about IllicitEncounters.com – please contact Christian Grant through the details below – but we’re not willing to speak publicly about SaraHartley.net at this moment in time.

Email: presspr@illicitencounters.co.uk

Mobile: 07824 353986

Twitter: @cheatsafer