Tag: BDSM and affairs

‘Babygirl effect’ spurs women to break bedroom taboos in record numbers

* Steamy film ‘Babygirl’ has inspired a surge in BDSM-related interest among UK women.

* There has been an uptick in new and existing members of extramarital affairs site, IllicitEncounters.com, adopting usernames featuring BDSM-related terms or references to the film.

* Internal data reveals a 72% rise in the use of the words ‘sub’ and ‘submissive’ within female profiles since the film’s release, and a 33% increase in men identifying themselves as ‘doms’.

Move over ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ – there’s a new cultural phenomenon inspiring bedroom adventures across the UK. The recent release of ‘Babygirl’, starring Nicole Kidman, has sparked more than just box office buzz.

The hit film, which explores themes of power dynamics and sexual discovery, has ignited a surge in interest in kink. The UK’s largest extramarital dating site, IllicitEncounters.com, has seen a noticeable uptick in new and existing members adopting usernames featuring BDSM-related terms or referencing the raunchy film –  particularly among women over 50.

Terms like “kink,” “bondage,” “cuffs,” and even character names like “Romy” and “Samuel” have spiked in popularity among users. The word “milk,” tied to a now infamous scene in the film, has also found its way into usernames.

Internal data from the platform also reveals a striking 67% increase in the use of the terms “sub” or “submissive” in female profiles since the film’s debut. And it’s not just women – the film has seemingly made an impression on men too, with a 34% rise in profiles openly identifying as ‘doms’ since the 10th January.

“This phenomenon, which we’re calling the ‘Babygirl effect,’ shows how impactful pop culture can be in shaping sexual interests and breaking taboos,” says Jessica Leoni, a sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com.

According to Leoni, ‘Babygirl’ has played a key role in normalising conversations around BDSM. “People have always been curious about kink, but a film like this helps remove stigma and makes it feel accessible. It encourages individuals to view BDSM as something that’s not just sexy, but safe and consensual when practiced responsibly.”

Leoni adds, “Whether this is a fleeting trend or the start of a larger sexual revolution, one thing is clear: UK bedrooms are about to become a lot more adventurous.”

“I’m a domme – people pay me to make them suffer but my long-term partner has no idea”

* Jennifer, 30 from Brighton, has been in a committed relationship for 11 years, but leads a double life as a dominatrix, fulfilling her clients’ extreme desires without her partner’s knowledge.

* She caters to successful, high-powered men, including doctors and executives she meets on extramarital dating site IllicitEncounters.com. 

* Jennifer’s partner remains completely unaware of her secret life, which she believes is the only way to fulfil her unique sexual needs while maintaining her relationship.

On the surface, Jennifer, 30 from Brighton, seems to have it all – a long-term relationship of 11 years and a stable, normal life. But behind closed doors, she’s living a double life that would shock her partner to the core. By day, she’s just your average girlfriend, but by night, she transforms into a ruthless dominatrix, making powerful men pay to be humiliated and degraded – all while her partner remains blissfully unaware.

Jennifer’s journey into the world of domination started six years ago when she realised her relationship was falling flat in the bedroom. “I figured out that I need a domme/sub dynamic instead of a regular relationship,” she spills. “Right now, I juggle around three regular subs at a time.”

And these aren’t just any men – they’re high-flying professionals with big bank accounts and even bigger secrets. “I’ve never met a submissive on IllicitEncounters.com whose wife has a clue about his kink,” Jennifer reveals, referencing the affair website where she meets her clients. These men, often doctors, lawyers, and financial execs, are desperate to be dominated in ways their wives could never imagine.

For Jennifer, the thrill isn’t just in the whips and chains – it’s in the power play. “The real satisfaction comes from the power exchange, not the physical acts,” she explains. “When we’re in session, these men worship me like a queen. The power rush I get knowing they’ll do anything I say is intoxicating. They love being humiliated, and I love being in control.”

But here’s the kicker – her partner has no idea what she’s really into. “He’d be horrified if he found out about my secret life,” Jennifer admits. “But this is the only way I can satisfy my cravings. My subs and I get to indulge in our twisted dynamic, and it doesn’t interfere with my home life.”

And if you think these men just want a quick thrill, think again. Some are shelling out serious cash to bow down to Jennifer. “I’ve had subs pay as little as £30 just for a chat,” she says. “Others send me ‘tributes’ – that’s cash or gifts to show their appreciation. One guy even offered £300 a month for regular sessions, but I had to turn him down. And when I’m under the weather or on my period? Some of them send money to cheer me up!”

Jennifer’s story exposes a hidden world where powerful men submit to their darkest desires in secret. A recent survey conducted by IllicitEncounters.com found that only 34% of 1,600 people polled feel comfortable discussing their sexual fantasies with their partners. And for those who do, a staggering 29% end up having a negative effect on their relationship.

Sex and relationships expert Jessica Leoni isn’t surprised by the secrecy. “Kink-shaming is clearly a big issue in some relationships. It’s alarming how many people can’t be honest about their desires with their partners. Even worse, when they do open up, it often backfires and hurts the dynamic between two people who should be able to be open about everything.

Stories like Jennifer’s are quite unique, but it’s great to know that people feel like they can be their true selves when using IllicitEncounters.com.”

‘Kink-teresting’ poll reveals keeping sexual secrets could lead to infidelity

* 86% of people are keeping their sexual fantasies a secret from their partner
* BDSM tops kinky list of secret sexual fantasies people aren’t willing to disclose to their other half
* Poll conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site
 

According to a new survey by the married dating site IllicitEncounters.com an alarming number of people are keeping schtum about their sexual desires, suggesting it could be fuelling an increase in infidelity as they fill their void elsewhere.

The website polled 2,500 of its members asking if they have sexual fantasies they haven’t revealed to their partner. The results showed a staggering 86% of people are keeping their sexual kinks under lock and key, unwilling to share their deepest desires.

Those who admitted to keeping sexual secrets were then asked to reveal what needs aren’t being met at home. BDSM dominated the list of secret sexual fantasies, tying up the competition and taking first place with 62% of the vote.

Half of members polled secretly fantasise about role play, suggesting that slipping into seductive characters and exploring taboo scenarios is too risqué to discuss with partners.

Fittingly in third place, threesomes are high on the list of secret sexual fantasies (47%). The allure of a steamy trio clearly captures the minds of many but few would reveal this to their other half.

A member of the married dating site, Jeff, said, “There’s so much I’d like to explore sexually with my wife but she’s really reserved. In fact, I don’t think we’ve ever really spoken about sex, let alone sexual fantasies. I know it’s something that’d make her feel uncomfortable, so I’d rather avoid rocking the boat.

Instead, I’ve decided to seek excitement and fulfilment elsewhere. I wouldn’t say it’s about being a cheater, I just want to fulfil my wilder desires and experience the adventure I’m missing at home before it’s too late.”

Carolina, another member of the website, said, “I’ve always struggled with opening up to my husband, so I just keep my sexual fantasies to myself, maybe because of fear he’ll judge me, or worse, laugh at me.

I suppose I’d always hoped he’d magically understand what I crave, which is why I’m now having my needs met outside of my marriage. Finding someone who I can be 100% honest with sexually has been so liberating – I just wish I’d found the site sooner!”

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert for IllicitEncounters.com commented, “Not everyone feels comfortable sharing their sexual fantasies, and that’s perfectly fine! Sometimes the fear of judgement or rejection is just too much to handle, and it’s difficult to fully suppress those kinky desires, so needing to find a way of meeting those fantasies elsewhere isn’t surprising.

However, the number of people who don’t feel comfortable enough to share those sexual fantasies with their partner is actually quite alarming, because having open communication about something like that can have a huge impact on intimacy within a relationship. Sharing your desires can create more opportunities for exploration, understanding and potentially discovering new shared interests.”

Results

Do you have sexual fantasies you haven’t revealed to your partner?

Yes 86%
No 14%
 

Which sexual fantasies are you hiding from your partner?

BDSM 62%
Role play 50%
Threesomes 43%
Filming yourself having sex 27%
Swinging 22%
Crossdressing 13%
Other 8%

Spicy New Year Bucket List

* Hotel sex is the number one sexual adventure we’d like to try in 2022

* Phone sex is the least desirable fantasy for both men and women

* Men say yes to sex in public, no to bondage

* Women say no to threesomes, but yes to foreplay

* Survey conducted by IllicitEncounters.com the UK’s largest extra-marital dating site

We’ve heard it all before – lose weight, save more, drink less – it’s the same old resolutions every year.

Rather than focus on the obvious, IllicitEncounters.com put the vote to 1000 of its users with a slightly different kind of poll – what sexy bedroom adventures would they most like to explore in 2022.

500 men and 500 women were questioned on whether they would like to try out any of the following sex-capades in 2022 and here are the results.

The top sexual adventure for men and women to explore in the bedroom is hotel sex, in first place for men with 95%, and second place for women with 81%. A combined total of 88% makes it the top adventure to tick off people’s bucket lists in the upcoming year. 

Close second adventure for men is sex in public with 89% of the vote.

The top sexual adventure for women to explore in the bedroom is foreplay (97%).

Men (28%) and women (17%) would least like to try out phone sex, a stark contrast to a poll conducted pre-pandemic when phone sex was the top sexual fantasy for both men and women (80.5% favoured this bucket list fantasy in January 2020). Perhaps we’ve all had enough of virtual sex over the course of covid and lockdowns. 

Spicy New Year Bucket List

Hotel Sex

Men – 95% said yes

Women – 81% said yes

Booking a hotel to have some romantic adventures with your significant other is the best way to enjoy some one-on-one adult fun. Spending the night getting hot and sweaty in freshly laundered sheets and then ordering room service? It doesn’t get much better than that.

Sex in Public

Men – 89% said yes

Women – 37% said yes

Usually explored in the honeymoon period of a relationship when you simply cannot keep your hands off each other. It’s naughty and risque, not to mention subject to nudity and decency laws – not one for the fainthearted! My recommendation is to find somewhere isolated and discreet for those wanting to try sex in public for the very first time, before you join the expert level mile high club.

Threesome

Men – 88% said yes

Women – 18% said yes

Some may say that three is in fact – the magic number. Inviting a third person into the party can be exhilarating, fun, and full of discoveries. Make sure that you have some boundaries and rules laid out with your partner before giving this one a shot, and if everybody is game, this bucket list must-have guarantees a night of racy fun.

Dress up and Striptease

Men – 86% said yes

Women – 77% said yes

The Full Monty? Yes, please. Dressing up and performing a striptease is going to get anybody’s pulses racing. Invest in some erotic clothing or lingerie and step outside of your comfort zone – not only does playing dress up build your confidence, it’s a sure way to turn your partner on.

Sex in Shower

Men – 80% said yes

Women – 68% said yes

Getting down and dirty while you’re soaking wet is undeniably sexy. Shower sex can be very sensual. Soaping eachother up and touching slippery wet bodies – it’s a fantasy many of us want to fulfill! One word of advice – it’s an idea to invest in a nonslip matt to avoid any accidents,

Foreplay

Men – 79% said yes

Women – 97% said yes

None of this wham, bam, thank you, mam. Foreplay is essential for good sex! Spending more time playing beforehand and getting each other aroused creates anticipation and sexual energy that is bound to make the act of lovemaking a whole lot more satisfying.

Role-play

Men – 60% said yes

Women – 40% said yes

Getting involved in role-play is the ultimate way to express yourself in the bedroom and acting out any adventurous sexual fantasies you may have. Decide on a scenario and roles prior. Play dress-up to make the experience more authentic, think doctors and nurses, coppers and robbers – whatever tickles your fancy.

New Sex Positions

Men – 40% said yes

Women – 65% said yes

Kama Sutra – why not? If you always rely on missionary, mixing it up a little will add so much more to your sex life. It can be very rewarding trying out new stuff – there are some pretty wild positions out there worth giving a shot, that can really bring couples closer together. 

Bondage

Men – 34% said yes

Women – 74% said yes

A great way to explore your kinkier side. It’ll get you communicating better in the bedroom and discovering all sorts of thrilling things you may have not even realised you were into. Rihanna got it right in her S&M track – “sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.”

Phone sex

Men – 28% said yes

Women – 17% said yes

Nothing beats this old time classic. Imagine a long night ahead of you apart from your lover, what better way to close the distance than a naughty call? Dirty talk is an art, and a timeless sexy adventure. Now you can turn up the heat by switching on the camera too, to add that extra dimension to this fantasy.

IllicitEncounters.com sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni said “A new year signifies new opportunities and why shouldn’t that extend to our bedroom fantasies. Whether you’re in a stale relationship that needs some extra spice, or single and ready to mingle – giving the sexy New Year bucket list a try this year is a must!”

NOTES TO EDITOR
IllicitEncounters.com is the UK’s leading dating website for married people and the leading authority on infidelity. With over 1,000,000 genuine UK users since 2004, you’re sure to find your perfect match.

Established in 2004, we have been providing a meeting place for like-minded married and attached people for nearly 12 years. Our members have one thing in common – they are all looking for a little romance outside their current relationship. Whether that’s the occasional bit of flirtatious chat, a regular coffee date, or a full-blown affair, that’s up to them.

We’re always more than happy to talk about IllicitEncounters.com – please contact Christian Grant through the details below – but we’re not willing to speak publicly about SaraHartley.net at this moment in time.
 

Email: presspr@illicitencounters.co.uk
 

Mobile: 07824 353986
 

Twitter: @cheatsafer