What the numbers show

* Frisky Friday sees a 70% rise in extra-marital affairs as adulterers grab one last chance to see their lovers before the summer getaway;

* We cheat more when the weather is hot – because we are wearing less and long summer nights present more opportunities for mischief;

* The first three weeks of July are the busiest time of the year for affairs;

* Second most popular month for affairs is June;

* Other peaks are in September and January as cheats return to their lovers after long holidays with their family

 

Britons cheat more when the weather is hot – and the peak day for affairs is today (Fri, July 20) as the schools break up for the summer holidays, according to a new study.

The whole week before the big summer getaway is the busiest of the year for extra-marital activity.

And it reaches its peak on ‘Frisky Friday’ with adulterers grabbing one last chance to see their lovers before going away with their families.

The first three weeks of July see a 25% rise in activity in extra-marital dating sites.

This shoots up to 54% higher than normal in the third week with a 70% rise on Frisky Friday – the busiest single day of the year for affairs.

Flaming June is appropriately named because it is the second busiest month for cheating.

The third most popular month is September, as cheats hook up with lovers again after going away with their families.

The fourth most popular month is January, as adulterers return to their secret partners after spending the Christmas break with their families.

The results are revealed in a new survey of 1,000 people IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading dating website for married people.

It found that 82% of adulterers stay in touch with lovers while they are on holiday with their families.

The most popular method is by text, followed by phone chats, FaceTiming, email and Skype.

And 62% of cheats hook up with their lovers within a week of returning home.

One in ten cheats 11% see their lovers while they are away with their families – either by arranging to go to nearby destinations or holidaying nearer home.

Four out of ten adulterers (42%) go on two summer holidays – one with their families and one with their lover,  most commonly using work commitments to hide their secret break.

The most popular destinations where adulterers go on holiday are Spain, followed by Italy, America, Thailand and France.

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

IllicitEncounters.com spokesman Christian Grant said: “We are experiencing the busiest three weeks for cheating as we head towards the big summer getaway.

“Adulterers are grabbing one last chance to have a bit of fun before they head off for two weeks away with their families.

“Cheating peaks this Friday when those having affairs can excuse their absence from home by saying they are catching up with work colleagues before the holidays.

“All IllicitEncounters.com research shows that the summer months are an incredibly busy time for affairs.

“The sun makes us more optimistic and open for adventure. We are all wearing a lot less, too, and that makes people more likely to cheat.

“The long nights mean we are more likely to be outside socialising and meeting new people.”

IllicitEncounters.com, the leading authority on infidelity, has more than 1 million registered members in the UK.

Its subscriptions rise by 25% over the summer months as more people look for fun in the sun.

 

Top months for cheating

1. July

2. June

3. September

4. January

5. May

6. August

7. March

8. October

9. December

10. November

11. February

12. April

NOTES TO EDITOR

About the research

IllicitEncounters.com is the UK’s leading dating website for married people and the leading authority on infidelity. With over 1,000,000 genuine UK users since 2004, you’re sure to find your perfect match.

Established in 2004, we have been providing a meeting place for like-minded married and attached people for nearly 12 years. Our members have one thing in common – they are all looking for a little romance outside their current relationship. Whether that’s the occasional bit of flirtatious chat, a regular coffee date, or a full-blown affair, that’s up to them.

We’re always more than happy to talk about IllicitEncounters.com – please contact Christian Grant through the details below – but we’re not willing to speak publicly about SaraHartley.net at this moment in time.

Email: presspr@illicitencounters.co.uk

Tel: 020 7729 6098

Twitter: @cheatsafer

What the numbers show

* Karin Jones desired sex many times a day after a ‘tsunami’ of events, including separation from her husband of 23 years;

* Jones, relationships editor at Erotic Review magazine, had a series of affairs with married men who wanted sex but didn’t want to disrupt their family lives;

* She says finding married lovers in London was easy – ‘like walking into a sweet shop with a pocket full of cash.’

* Here she writes about the ‘wonderful’ sex she enjoyed meeting men on IllicitEncounters.com – and how some of her lovers had been given permission by their wives to have affairs.

 

At 49, I experienced a tsunami of disrupting events: I separated from my husband of 23 years, began my slide into pre-menopause, and experienced a libido surge so intense I became unhinged if I didn’t get sexual release several times a day. This kind of horniness happens to some of us midlife women, though it’s not getting talked about much. We’re not told by our doctors to expect aching bouts of desire to accompany our hot flashes in the run-up to menopause. Depending upon one’s circumstances, this surge can be a blessing or a burden. If you have someone who is willing to have sex with you three times a day (or more) you might be fine. If not, you’ll need to get creative.  

 

I went through this experience, which lasted over a year, when I lived in the UK. I didn’t want a relationship; I was too wrapped up with grieving my marriage and taking care of my young son. But my body wasn’t letting me off the hook when it came to sex. Fortunately, I lived near London. Finding men to have sex with was like walking into a sweet shop with a pocket full of cash. I set up profiles on Tinder and OKCupid, but as a woman wanting only casual sex, the sheer volume of questionable men on those sites was intimidating. The website that offered me the clearest route to my no-strings requirements was IllicitEncounters.com, a dating site for married people.

 

Unlike other dating websites, I found a “cheaters” site to be populated by men who were more straightforward and unselfconscious about their intent. It was understood that this was about sex, not finding a relationship. It was about companionship for only a few hours. It was almost universally about experiencing a level of intimacy we weren’t getting at home. But all the men I encountered there insisted they didn’t want to disrupt their family lives.

 

Anyone on a site like IllicitEncounters is there because they don’t want to be condemned for seeking out what they need; sex. And anyone who insists we can live without sex is welcome to do so. But I can’t do it. Clearly, a lot of us can’t. Whether we can be honest with our spouses about sex is everyone’s own decision.

 

I learned that dating sites for married people were places to interact with potential partners without the harassment and judgement they received on other sites from those who view the issue of infidelity as black and white. I see the many shades of grey around the topic. And because I was so randy, I couldn’t imagine trying to jump through the hoops of another person’s apprehensions, had I been married. Even so, after I accepted a man’s request for a conversation, I vetted each one to be sure they were still committed to their marriage, even if that commitment didn’t include sexual monogamy. I accepted that by sleeping with me they could be putting their marriage at risk. But I was fairly clear-headed with my choices. I only slept with men who told me they loved their wives and were certainly not about to leave them for me. They almost always said they wanted to have sex with their wives, but their wives wouldn’t have sex with them.

 

What I found about dating married men was how edifying our conversations were around why we were doing what we were doing. They weren’t afraid to talk to me about the reasons they were in my bed instead of their own. I pressed them to explain why they weren’t having this conversation with their wives. Most had tried – many times. But it’s such a painful thing to discuss; why a spouse is no longer interested in sex. It became a topic of silence. Which led to hurt, sorrow and even resentment. Which led to IllicitEncounters.

 

One of my most memorable married lovers lived in the Middle East. He described his wife as lovely and beautiful. They had two teen children and he worked as an engineer in the oil industry. He was Oxford educated, articulate with a sonorous voice. He measured the weight of his words and told me the story of his desires. He wanted to explore kink, group sex, bondage.

 

“Does your wife know how you feel?” I asked over the phone before we met.

 

“Yes.” he said. “She even tried some of these things with me. I was so grateful to her for trying. But she’s not comfortable with it. It’s simply not possible for her to enjoy the kind of sex I do.”

 

“Does your wife know you are looking for this outside your marriage?”

 

“We don’t talk about it.” was all he said. And I didn’t press for more.

 

He flew to London for business and we met at a cafe. He was a beautiful, dark-skinned man who was as gentle-looking as his words. Desire wafted between us like the steam coming off our hot drinks. Back in my flat, we propped the full-length mirror against the wall and watched ourselves having sex; his cocoa body against my ivory.

 

What’s was so wonderful about having sex with an unavailable man was the way it took me out of my thinking head and put me squarely in the moment. Without the possibility of our coupling leading to anything that required attention or emotion, I was able to experience the simple pleasure of the act. Sex that was not fraught by an earlier argument, a difficult child or the shared burdens of the domestic upkeep. Just a few hours of unencumbered, uncomplicated bliss. It’s no wonder married women are on these sites as well.

 

Women, though, have more to lose if found out. We women are still judged more harshly for transgressions against our culture. But a lot of us are out to change that. I say women are in more need than men for an escape valve from the constant requests for our attentions. We care for other people’s needs too much, spend a large chunk of our lives with small humans hanging off our bodies, don’t get enough help around the house (and often find it hard to ask for help). A clandestine affair, I imagine, is easy for a woman to justify. Why not find someone to ravish her? Give her pleasure without expectations. Remind her of her appeal as a sexual being, not simply a mother or a wife.

 

Infidelity is not going away. If anything, it will become more prevalent with so many ways to seek relationships online and sites such as IllicitEncounters. What I think we need to do is not disparage the adulterers. We need to talk about the issues around adultery. My experience tells me the asymmetrical desire for sex is at the root of most cheating. It will take courage and patience to have a conversation about this. But surely that’s easier, in the long run, than divorce and breaking up the family.

NOTES TO EDITOR

About the research

IllicitEncounters.com is the UK’s leading dating website for married people and the leading authority on infidelity. With over 1,000,000 genuine UK users since 2004, you’re sure to find your perfect match.

Established in 2004, we have been providing a meeting place for like-minded married and attached people for nearly 12 years. Our members have one thing in common – they are all looking for a little romance outside their current relationship. Whether that’s the occasional bit of flirtatious chat, a regular coffee date, or a full-blown affair, that’s up to them.

We’re always more than happy to talk about IllicitEncounters.com – please contact Christian Grant through the details below – but we’re not willing to speak publicly about SaraHartley.net at this moment in time.

Email: presspr@illicitencounters.co.uk

Tel: 020 7729 6098

Twitter: @cheatsafer

The key findings

• llicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading dating website for married people, has seen a dramatic surge in the number of people over the age of 50 signing up to the site
• Over the past 12 months, there has been an increase of 35% in over 50’s joining up
• Women over 50 lead, with a 43% increase in membership and 30% male increase
• Even above age 60, there has been a cumulative 29.5% increase across both genders

 

What the numbers show

Perhaps people don’t really mellow with age.  Twelve months of data on new memberships from llicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading dating website for married people and the leading authority on infidelity, has revealed a 29.5% increase in new members over the age of 60, and a 35% increase in those over 50.  The sample set includes new signups between April 2017 to April 2018.

Women seem to be more interested in cheating on their spouses than men.  Or perhaps they appreciate the discretion the site promises. They lead the surge with a 43% increase in female signups over age 50 compared to a 30% increase in new male users over 50 looking to llicitEncounters.com for their extracurricular activities.

In fact, over a two-year period, there’s been a 49% total increase in registered users over the age of 50.

The site’s spokesman, Christian Grant, explains:

“I think older people who have been married a while, experienced all the ups and downs – and particularly if they’re resolved to stay together – are more pragmatic about marriage.  They’re able to separate the institution of marriage and long-term commitment from a brief, sexually-charged fling.”

“Of course, there’s also the inevitable decline in physical attraction that comes with years of being together.  So many of our clients have come to even realise that the thrill of the new can do wonders to improve conditions at home.”

As one of the  website’s users Lucy, 61 from Durham illustrates:

“It has been a great experience for me, and as a result has actually improved my marriage. I have met four people from the site so far, and have had fun with all of them, even though I was only attracted to two of them. “

NOTES TO EDITOR

About the research

IllicitEncounters.com is the UK’s leading dating website for married people and the leading authority on infidelity. With over 1,000,000 genuine UK users since 2004, you’re sure to find your perfect match.

Established in 2004, we have been providing a meeting place for like-minded married and attached people for nearly 12 years. Our members have one thing in common – they are all looking for a little romance outside their current relationship. Whether that’s the occasional bit of flirtatious chat, a regular coffee date, or a full-blown affair, that’s up to them.

We’re always more than happy to talk about IllicitEncounters.com – please contact Christian Grant through the details below – but we’re not willing to speak publicly about SaraHartley.net at this moment in time.

Email: presspr@illicitencounters.co.uk

Tel: 020 7729 6098

Twitter: @cheatsafer

What the numbers show

* Stratford-upon-Avon is Britain’s cheating capital with 1,047 men and women having affairs – 3.69% of the population;

* Wigan is the most faithful town – with just 0.14% of residents cheating ;

* Cheating in suburbia has never been more popular with a high proportion of rich commuter towns in the top 10 including Wilmslow, Beaconsfield and Esher;

* Mother-of-two Louise Van Der Velde, 43, is typical of this new generation of sex cheats in middle class suburbia;

* Louise lives in wealthy Harrogate, North Yorks, and has had 80 affairs with married men and she is currently seeing two married businessmen in the town;

* New interactive Infidelity Index lists the number of people having affairs in Britain’s 150 towns leading towns;

* Infidelity Index has been put together by IllicitEncounters.com – Britain’s leading dating website for married people

 

The most adulterous town in the UK is posh Stratford-upon-Avon in Warwickshire, according to a new table of the country’s 150 cheating hotspots which shows a boom in adultery in wealthy areas.

The middle class town – birthplace of William Shakespeare – has been officially named as the place where a husband or wife is most likely to have an affair.

Posh Stratford-upon-Avon has 1,047 people cheating out of a population of 27,455

The interactive Infidelity Index allows users to search a town or postcode to discover how many people are having affairs in any locality.

Click here to find your local figure – http://www.infidelityindex.co.uk.

Stratford-upon-Avon came out highest, with 3.69% of the population cheating.

In second place was another posh commuter town, Wilmslow in Cheshire, with 901 cheats (3.6% of the population) and Beaconsfield in Bucks came third with 408 cheats (3.4% of the population).

Irvine in North Ayrshire, fourth in the overall UK table, was Scotland’s cheating capital. Wrexham, a lowly 64th in the UK table, was Wales’s cheating capital – suggesting that people in the Principality are having fewer affairs than elsewhere in the UK.

Many of the towns with the highest numbers of cheats are wealthy areas in the south of England.

The most faithful town was Wigan in Greater Manchester – just 0.14% of residents are cheating.

Stratford-upon-Avon is one of the UK’s tourism hotspots with 2.5 million visitors a year.

With an average house price of £340,548 – far above the national average of £226,071 – it is one of the most desirable places to live in the UK.

The figures were compiled by IllicitEncounters.com, Britain’s leading dating website for married people.

They are based on its own extensive data on the numbers of Britons cheating.

Since its inception 15 years ago, more than 1 million people have registered with the site.

IllicitEncounters.com has seen a 20% surge in registrations in the last five years because many couples simply cannot afford to divorce due economic pressures and sky high house prices.

Increasing numbers of couples are trapped in unhappy marriages but they are reluctant to divorce because of the cost and upheaval caused to their families

Restless married men and women are using IllicitEncounters.com to inject to some excitement into their lives with like-minded partners who also have no intention of leaving the marital home.

Mother-of-two Louise Van Der Velde, 43, is typical of the new generation of middle class people cheating in suburbia.

She lives in wealthy Harrogate in North Yorkshire – 26th in the Infidelity Index with 1,098 cheats (1.49% of the population).

Sex therapist Louise, 43, has had 80 affairs wth married men since starting online dating with IllicitEncounters.com in the last years of her marriage.

Expert comment from Jessica Leoni

She said: “Sex in the suburbs has never been more popular. We have a whole generation of unhappy couples stuck together because property prices have made it impossible for them to move on and start new lives.

“They are staying in unhappy marriages and getting their kicks elsewhere.

“I moved to Harrogate a few years ago and it is typical of the posh commuter towns where cheating is absolutely rife.

“It is one of the wealthiest towns in Yorkshire and has lots of rich people commuting to big local cities like Leeds and York.

“I had previously lived in Surrey commuter belt where cheating was also popular but it is even easier to meet people in the North.

“The one thing you have to be careful about is not getting caught by your neighbours. Harrogate is still a relatively small place and you can stand out like a sore thumb if you go out to some of the more popular bars and restaurants.

“So a lot of cheats up this way will do their dating in Wetherby, York and Ripon. You have less chance of being spotted that way.

“I tend to find that Northern men are a little bit more up front than Southerners. They make it absolutely clear what they are after in the first 20 minutes of a date.

“That suits me because I’m from Yorkshire and I prefer to call a spade a spade.”

llicitEncounters.com spokesman Christian Grant said: “We are increasingly popular in commuter towns like Stratford-upon-Avon, Harrogate, Wilmslow, Beaconsfield and Esher. Cheating in suburbia has never been more popular.

“IllicitEncounters.com provides an outlet for men and women who would have an affair whether we were there or not. In coming to us, they can be assured of meeting a like-minded partner seeking some added excitement in their life who doesn’t want to upset things at home.”

Every week, around 20,000 people in the UK are having affairs on IllicitEncounters.com.

The average income of the men on the site is £54,000 a year, with most working in professional jobs.

NOTES TO EDITOR

About the research

IllicitEncounters.com is the UK’s leading dating website for married people and the leading authority on infidelity. With over 1,000,000 genuine UK users since 2004, you’re sure to find your perfect match.

Established in 2004, we have been providing a meeting place for like-minded married and attached people for nearly 12 years. Our members have one thing in common – they are all looking for a little romance outside their current relationship. Whether that’s the occasional bit of flirtatious chat, a regular coffee date, or a full-blown affair, that’s up to them.

We’re always more than happy to talk about IllicitEncounters.com – please contact Christian Grant through the details below – but we’re not willing to speak publicly about SaraHartley.net at this moment in time.

Email: presspr@illicitencounters.co.uk

Tel: 020 7729 6098

Twitter: @cheatsafer