Tag: mental health and affairs

1 in 3 Brits report having an affair helps them sleep better

* A surprising one-third (34%) of Britons report better sleep quality since starting an affair.
* Of those whose sleep improved, nearly three-quarters (72%) say they sleep best right after meeting or messaging their lover.
* Experts believe the surge in ‘feel-good’ hormones from excitement calms underlying marital stress.
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

It’s often assumed that an affair is a high-stress endeavor that would leave a person consumed by guilt and plagued by sleepless nights. However, new research suggests the opposite is true for a significant portion of the population: infidelity may actually be improving their rest.

According to a new poll of 2,500 users conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, a shocking 34% of Brits say their quality of sleep has improved significantly since beginning their affair.

Only 18% reported worsened sleep, while 48% stated their sleep patterns remained unchanged. The results defy the conventional wisdom that cheating is a guaranteed recipe for stress and insomnia.

The survey drilled down into the habits of those who are now sleeping soundly. A compelling 72% of those with improved sleep quality said they sleep best immediately after meeting or messaging their lover, with 37% reporting that they fall asleep faster on those nights. This suggests the positive effect is directly linked to the emotional charge of the illicit relationship.

Sarah*, a 45-year-old user who reported improved sleep in the survey, explained her experience: “My marriage had become completely lifeless. We weren’t fighting, but we weren’t talking either. When I started my affair, it was like a complete release. I felt desired and excited again. I stopped staring at the ceiling, thinking about all the things wrong with my life, and started sleeping like a baby because I was genuinely happier.”

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com, commented on the results saying, “This data shatters the myth that affairs are solely a source of anxiety. In fact, at this point, the NHS might want to start prescribing discreet affairs as a sleep remedy – though we suspect they’d struggle with the paperwork. For many, the primary relationship is the real source of stress and loneliness – two of the biggest drivers of insomnia. An affair can serve as an emotional release valve.”

“The excitement, the feeling of being desired, and the simple act of being truly seen by someone can quiet a restless mind,” Leoni adds. “It provides a powerful psychological boost that, for one in three, literally lulls them into a deeper, more restful sleep. The affair isn’t what’s keeping them awake – it’s what’s helping them switch off.”

* Name has been changed

Having an affair significantly improves mental health, according to study

* Almost three-quarters (73%) of women surveyed said their affair had improved their mental health, boosting confidence and reducing stress.
* More than six in ten admitted they see their affairs as a form of “self-care” or “me time” to cope with daily pressures.
* Sex and relationships expert says the results show affairs are often used as a coping strategy, not just lust-driven behaviour.
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site

Women who cheat are reporting better mental health, according to new research which suggests infidelity is increasingly being used as a form of self-care.

A survey of 1,500 women carried out by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading affairs dating site, found that almost three-quarters (73%) of those who had an affair said it had significantly improved their mental health. Many described reduced stress, higher confidence and a rediscovery of identity outside of their roles as partners, mothers, or employees.

The study also revealed that more than six in ten women see their affairs as a form of “me time” or self-care to help cope with the demands of daily life, while a further 26% said they sometimes felt this way. 

When asked what had led them to stray, the most common drivers were emotional support and understanding (34%), the boost to self-esteem that comes from feeling desired (31%), and stress relief or an escape from routine (22%). Just one in ten said their primary motivation was physical excitement.

For many women, the emotional rewards outweighed the physical. Sarah*, a 42-year-old from Surrey who took part in the survey, explained: “I was drowning in responsibilities – work, kids, the house, and a marriage that had grown cold. I’d lost myself completely.

Having an affair gave me back a part of me I thought was gone forever. It wasn’t just about sex, it was about being seen, heard, and desired. Honestly, it’s been better for my head than any spa weekend.”

Sex and relationships expert Jessica Leoni from IllicitEncounters.com said the findings shine a light on a side of infidelity that is rarely discussed.

“The results challenge the stereotype that affairs are purely about lust or reckless behaviour. For many women, they function as a coping strategy – a way to reduce stress, feel desired and reconnect with their sense of self. While not everyone would view infidelity as a solution, there’s no denying that the women we surveyed overwhelmingly felt it had a positive impact on their mental health.”

Results
Do you view your affairs as a form of ‘me time’ or ‘self-care’ that helps you cope with daily life pressures?
Yes, absolutely: 65%
Sometimes: 26%
No, not really: 9%

What drove you to have an affair?
Emotional support/understanding: 34%
Feeling desired/boost to self-esteem: 31%
Stress relief/escape from routine: 22%
Purely physical excitement: 10%
Other: 3%

The secret to a happy marriage? Study reveals it’s a ‘sleep divorce’

* 76% of people who admitted to cheating on their partner revealed they still share the same bed with them, suggesting the secret to marital bliss is actually a ‘sleep divorce’.

* Sexpert Jessica Leoni revealed that sleeping in the same bed as your spouse can lead to tension in a relationship, but many fear that staying in separate bedrooms is a sign of failure.

* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.

In a shocking new study, it seems the key to a long-lasting and happy marriage may not lie in romantic getaways or date nights, but in something far more unexpected – sleeping apart. 

The poll by IllicitEncounters.com, which surveyed 2,000 people (1,000 men and 1,000 women), has uncovered a growing trend among couples who are saying goodbye to the traditional shared bed and embracing a ‘sleep divorce’.

According to the findings, a staggering 76% of people who admitted to cheating on their partner are still sharing the same bed. In contrast, only 24% of those who cheat sleep in separate bedrooms. The numbers have sparked debate over whether sleeping together could be driving couples apart rather than bringing them closer.

A ‘sleep divorce’ isn’t as dramatic as it sounds. In fact, it’s a growing trend where couples intentionally choose to sleep apart to preserve their relationship. Far from being a sign of trouble, many couples who opt for sleep divorces say it actually strengthens their bond by removing the irritations that come with sharing a bed – like snoring, restless nights, or mismatched sleep patterns.

While the idea might seem unromantic, it’s becoming increasingly popular, even among celebrities. Stars like Bette Midler and Joe Swash have gone public about sleeping separately from their partners, praising the arrangement for the positive impact it’s had on their relationships. Whilst Cat Deeley and Patrick Kielty also revealed they sleep in separate bedrooms, prioritising sleep quality and personal space to keep their relationship strong.

Jessica Leoni, a sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com, explained that many couples are increasingly realising that sharing a bed might be more of a habit than a necessity. “Many couples feel like they should share a bed because that’s what’s expected,” Leoni says. “But if one partner is tossing and turning or there’s emotional distance between them, it can make things worse. A ‘sleep divorce’ can sometimes reduce that tension, giving couples space to sleep better and reconnect.”

But what about couples who continue to share a bed despite being in an unhappy relationship? The study revealed a significant number of these individuals are cheating on their partners – yet they still choose to sleep in the same bed.

One participant in the poll, Sarah, confessed that even though she’d been unfaithful for over a year, she still shares the same bed with her husband. “It’s complicated,” she admitted. “On the surface, everything looks fine. We’ve got kids, a house, and a routine. But it’s all a facade. The truth is, we’re both miserable, but neither of us wants to admit it. 

Sharing a bed feels like one of the last things we’re holding onto, even though it’s really only for appearances. I’m cheating because I feel emotionally disconnected, but I guess we sleep together because we’re both too afraid of the alternative – it would make it all too real.”

Leoni believes that cases like Sarah’s are more common than people think. “Cheating often happens because one partner feels unfulfilled,” she explains. “But instead of addressing the root issue, many couples stay stuck in old patterns, like sharing a bed, to maintain the image of a ‘normal’ marriage. They’re afraid that sleeping separately will be seen as a sign of failure. But the truth is, a ‘sleep divorce’ could be exactly what’s needed to heal the relationship – or at least start the conversation.”

“I’m Not Sorry for Cheating: It’s a Better Alternative to Antidepressants”

* Georgia, 51 from Maidenhead, claims having an affair saved her from the emotional and physical neglect in her marriage, improving her mental health and confidence.

* A study by the UK’s largest extramarital dating site reveals that 81% of participants found their mental health improved after cheating.

* Sex and relationship expert at IllicitEncounters.com, Jessica Leoni reveals how over the past 20 years, the platform has helped people trapped in unfulfilling marriages find emotional and physical satisfaction.

In a society where loyalty in relationships is considered the highest virtue, Georgia*, 51, has boldly gone against the grain. After over 20 years of marriage and nearly a decade in a sexless relationship, she found a controversial but, in her words, life-saving solution – having an affair. And she’s not apologising for it.

Georgia, a mother of two grown children, says she had endured years of emotional and physical neglect in her marriage. “My husband and I grew apart over the years. He’s much older than me, and we slowly became more like housemates than a couple. We barely talk, and we’ve slept in separate bedrooms for as long as I can remember. This arrangement worked for a while, but after I turned 50, something shifted inside me.”

Feeling desperate and invisible in her own home, Georgia joined IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site where people in unhappy marriages seek connections outside their relationship. At first, she admits she thought she was just looking for physical satisfaction, but she soon realised her needs ran much deeper.

“Being in a sexless relationship for a decade affected my mental health. I was lonely, unseen, and unheard. I thought casual sex would fill the void, but it was emotional intimacy I craved too. When I met my lover through IllicitEncounters, everything changed. He noticed me. He made me feel alive again.”

The affair, Georgia says, was like an emotional life raft. “Having an affair has definitely improved my mental health. I was incredibly depressed before, often turning to alcohol and comfort foods to cope with my loneliness. But now, I feel validated. I have emotional intimacy, affection, and sex – all the things I was missing. I’m more forgiving of myself for acknowledging that I have needs, both physical and emotional.”

The positive impact of the affair on Georgia’s life has extended beyond the bedroom. Since beginning her secret romance, Georgia has cut back on drinking, started making healthier food choices, and even found the motivation to hit the gym. “My body shape has changed, my self-confidence has soared, and I love the way I feel about myself now. I no longer feel like I’m wasting my life.”

Georgia’s story is far from unique. In a recent poll conducted by IllicitEncounters.com involving 2,500 people, a staggering 81% of those who have had affairs said that cheating improved their mental health. For many, stepping outside their marriage wasn’t just about sexual fulfilment – it was about reclaiming a sense of self-worth and escaping the emotional isolation of an unhappy relationship.

Sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com, Jessica Leoni, commented on the study and Georgia’s story, “For over 20 years, IllicitEncounters has helped people trapped in unfulfilling marriages find emotional and physical satisfaction. The reality is that many individuals feel suffocated and unseen in their relationships. Having an affair, for some, is a way of seeking happiness and mental clarity. It can be an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and even healing.”

Leoni goes on to explain that many users of the site view their affairs as an essential outlet to maintain their sanity in otherwise bleak circumstances. “The mental health benefits cannot be ignored. For some, having an affair is more effective than therapy or antidepressants in alleviating feelings of loneliness and depression. Not all affairs should be considered bad. In some cases they really are saving lives.”

Georgia doesn’t regret her decision to step outside her marriage. If anything, she’s more self-aware and in control of her own happiness than she’s been in years. “My affair opened my eyes to what I was missing, and it gave me the courage to focus on my well-being. It’s not just about sex – it’s about feeling valued and understood. I’m not sorry for it. In fact, I think more people in my situation should consider it.”

*Name has been changed