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Performance Ratings???

I read something in the papers recently about people secretly giving performance ratings to their lovers and it made me think. Do you do that?  Also, if your lover is insecure enough to ask, would you be honest or would you say of course you are top rated to make them feel better? Discuss!

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Comments (93)

marklondonengland - 25 Oct, 2023 - 07:11PM

I'd ask "are we really still teenagers?" If you need to give a performance rating then you have a serious problem about connecting with another person. In any case, the best way to improve how someone rates you in bed is to just ask her what she likes or wants - then do it for her. That will make her text you again...

Paula99 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 12:06PM

Smooth operator…how are you going to measure your traits? ..I have used famous people

Sense of humour ….Rowan Atkinson/Dawn French

Personality…Joanna Lumley /David Tennant

Integrity…Nelson Mandela/The Queen

Looks…hmmmm no comment as this is one of the reasons that ratings have been criticised

More thoughts people ???

Mstok427 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 07:13AM

If you haven't got anything good to say then say nothing.

 1 member likes this comment.

1616715 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 09:44PM

Wth rates their lover? Do they rate romance?
Do they rate kindness, consideration...?

laugar164 - 25 Aug, 2023 - 12:02PM

What is a good performance rating
If a guy is not performing as you want is it his fault could it be your fault performance for me is based on what you both want out of it. Communication is key otherwise you get a bad performance.

An example one lady might love how you kiss the next may not just my thoughts

 1 member likes this comment.

Paula99 - 25 Aug, 2023 - 05:35AM

Women are guilty of lying back and thinking of England too ….

For some guys they have spent a lifetime of being chased so why change the habit ..

Works both ways 😕

 2 members like this comment.

mipaulac - 24 Aug, 2023 - 08:41PM

naughtynisha - 23 Aug, 2023 - 09:45PM

A lack of squirting orgasms then ?
Perhaps could satisfy yourself with two men at once😉😂

Paula99 - 24 Aug, 2023 - 02:32PM

AsianGent 1986…

Define a bad performance?

Ist time ‘nerves’ do happen but it doesn’t mean we don’t give the guy a second chance to redeem himself😉

 1 member likes this comment.

AsianGent1986 - 24 Aug, 2023 - 10:30AM

I don’t think it is insecure to ask for critiques, especially with a new lover. Ultimately every woman is different and what works for one doesn’t for another.
Ultimately as a man you should want to pleasure that woman. The problem is that anyone can put in a bad performance and often that means you don’t get a 2nd crack at the whip.

 1 member likes this comment.

naughtynisha - 23 Aug, 2023 - 09:45PM

Most men do not know what they're doing honestly. I've yet to find a 10 on 10

 3 members like this comment.

Beckysharp - 22 Aug, 2023 - 09:45PM

Integrity 😬😂

 2 members like this comment.

smooth operator - 22 Aug, 2023 - 09:34PM

Whilst actual performance ratings could damage many individuals and put their confidence back to the prehistoric era

Ratings for
Sense of humour &

Whilst subjective
could sift the top soil from the clay quite effectively

 2 members like this comment.

Funguy77 - 22 Aug, 2023 - 09:09PM

Who me ??? I can be what ever you want me to be lol

But I’m actually mr nice all I want is to love and be loved xx

 1 member likes this comment.

TheBoredHousewife - 22 Aug, 2023 - 08:25PM

Funguy77 - 22 Aug, 2023 - 08:11PM

What do you mean? You've got popcorn too! Sweet or salty? Or mixed bag?

Funguy77 - 22 Aug, 2023 - 08:11PM

What the hells going on in here. Honestly guys be nice

ExoticOrchid - 22 Aug, 2023 - 08:08PM

TBH - 07:22PM


Paula99 - 22 Aug, 2023 - 07:22PM


TheBoredHousewife - 22 Aug, 2023 - 07:18PM


 4 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 22 Aug, 2023 - 07:01PM

🍿 🍹

 4 members like this comment.

Hedone - 22 Aug, 2023 - 06:07PM

I find it very ungentlemanly that certain individuals are unable to accept a no thanks, so post on a public forum a load of twaddle as they’ve been blocked!
I can assure you I have definitely had affairs and a few can vouch for me on that. If you would like to list my multiple profile names I will enjoy reading that

 1 member likes this comment.

Hedone - 22 Aug, 2023 - 05:04PM


Spoken like a man who doesn’t know the difference!

 1 member likes this comment.

1617335 - 22 Aug, 2023 - 01:41PM

I am sure people share their ratings or thoughts with friends. Not something I would do as it does sound de-humanising to a degree.

 2 members like this comment.

Beckysharp - 22 Aug, 2023 - 09:54AM

Funguy77 put it on your bucket list 😉

Watch out Sandypops if you have a slimmer waist than Mipaulac he’ll be sliding into your inbox!!

 1 member likes this comment.

Funguy77 - 22 Aug, 2023 - 09:34AM

@ Sandypops - 22 Aug, 2023 - 02:18AM

Iv never had sex outside. You make it sound amazing 🤩
Maybe one day xx

Sandypops - 22 Aug, 2023 - 02:18AM

Are there really women who have an aversion to sex in the countryside? Outside makes for great sex, especially when you have to shove your clothes in your mouth so you don't disturb a quiet afternoon stroll for people walking nearby - so I've been told anyway 😉😂

 1 member likes this comment.

mipaulac - 21 Aug, 2023 - 11:50PM

Oh dear, how sad it's pretty obvious many don't know the difference.
And I guess it's an enigma to many women on here due to their aversion to sex in the country side and pevic floor muscle excercises.😂😂
And were still in touch because she's knows I'm a sincere bloke.

ExoticOrchid - 21 Aug, 2023 - 07:39PM

Hedone - 04:04PM

That's more likely! 🤣

Beckysharp - 04:32PM
Well deserved I'd say ... couldn't happen to a nicer guy, eh?

 3 members like this comment.

Funguy77 - 21 Aug, 2023 - 04:35PM


 1 member likes this comment.

Beckysharp - 21 Aug, 2023 - 04:32PM

Maybe he took her to the pub toilets for a little fun and she got confused 😂😂

 5 members like this comment.

Hedone - 21 Aug, 2023 - 04:04PM


What about if she just needed the toilet at that particular moment in time?!

 2 members like this comment.

mipaulac - 20 Aug, 2023 - 10:19PM

If she orgasms and squirts in your face it's not being faked 😉 😁

ClassyLady77 - 15 Aug, 2023 - 09:55PM

When I was first looking for an affair I went on Fab swingers and they write a review of you.. reading the review was hilarious.. Some people have no shame…

I am proud to o way I’m probably the only women to have only date reviews… 0 sex… I decided Hook ups aren’t my thing…

 3 members like this comment.

LiveEachDay666 - 15 Aug, 2023 - 09:43PM

Surely the best performance indicator is that your date wants to meet you again. This works whether you're male or female. 😉

 10 members like this comment.

WillKr - 15 Aug, 2023 - 09:28PM

I was watching middle aged women on TikTok bemoaning all men’s performance in bed. One popular influencer saying women pretend to enjoy jack hammer guys, many saying they fake orgasm and tell men how awesome they are.
Comments bellow agreeing.

I’ve long had the feeling most guys don’t really know how to turn a woman on.

Sarah.jayne - 15 Aug, 2023 - 07:53PM

I'd give a performance rating. I think it relates to the channel 4 series. Made for love

ExoticOrchid - 15 Aug, 2023 - 05:39PM

Having re- read the topic, the OP has said nothing about rating it on a website or in public ... the operative word here is "secret" ... we have all thought certain things in our heads about someone ... yes, as Indiandelight85 says, we have discussed such topics with our female friends at one time or the other ... come on ladies, fess up ... you know you do! 😉

Indiandelight85 - 15 Aug, 2023 - 05:31PM

The brutal truth is performance ratings are totally given however only discussed with mates you trust.
Nice guy, good lover, but can't perform for a long time, has to be an area to vent about. Lol

Discussions to spice up sex with your lover are super important.
Moto "Spice" not criticise 😁
I just came up with that

 1 member likes this comment.

TJJ89_fun - 15 Aug, 2023 - 05:21PM

I’d love to discuss these things with a partner, what’s the worst that could happen? You both learn new things that the other person enjoys and make sex between you even better? 😂

ExoticOrchid - 15 Aug, 2023 - 05:06PM

Hedone - 04:04PM

Now your comment made me laugh! 🤣

SixtiesOriginal - 15 Aug, 2023 - 04:29PM

I guess performance ratings have a place in society but not in the bedroom. . . Surely people looking on here know what they are looking for and can discuss sex with their preferred other partner.
Although chance would be a fine thing. . . 62 year old rocker/bikers are not in favour on here so not thinking I'll be discussing likes, desires, position or kinks anytime soon or ever on here. Rating your partner. . .! No it's purile and stupid.

Hedone - 15 Aug, 2023 - 04:04PM

Needle in a haystack

Ahem, is that in your dreams or in your reality?

Dear oh dear 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Needle in a haystack - 15 Aug, 2023 - 03:17PM

I get told I’m the best they have ever experienced pretty much every time and that their body shakes for hours afterwards. Bizarrely though I’d never rated myself that good, not particularly confident normally but I must be doing it right 😂

 2 members like this comment.

Gentle Man Jim - 15 Aug, 2023 - 02:17PM

@Paula99: very well said, quite right. That’s a 10 out of 10 post for me…….

Funguy77 - 15 Aug, 2023 - 01:51PM

Man this place makes me laugh out loud. I’m sitting in my office getting funny looks 😂

But saying that Iv never had any complaints but I would like to know 🤔

Paula99 - 15 Aug, 2023 - 01:33PM

Back in the day my friend and I dated the same guy ( at different times 🙄) and he had a 9 inch whacker …my mate slept with him and obviously we talked about his asset and the pain involved ..I decided ’ I ain’t going there ‘ … his performance was never in question…
Fast forward to 2023 I find that sometimes we are incapatable in bed but to ‘rate your lover’ performances is wrong on all counts and if you want to find a long term lover then your going the wrong way about it ..
If you are looking for a quick shag round the back of the local pub then by all means but it’s over in 10 minutes so how can you put a rate to this ?

Guys and girls are all guilty of lying back and thinking of England but just because the sex is shit …is it right to post their performance rates on some dating website
No no no never…
No wonder people are so messed up 😖

 8 members like this comment.

1617269 - 15 Aug, 2023 - 12:18PM

I have never rated my lover and he hasn’t me…
We’ve always talked about our sexual needs and requirements. The sex was always amazing but if something didn’t feel right then we’d have a laugh about it and agree maybe that wasn’t for us and move on.

Totally agree with with @LifeBalance.

1575958 - 30 Jun, 2023 - 09:33PM

I have to agree with Life balance. If you're just looking for meaningless sex there are sites available for that.

I can only speak for myself, but I'm not interested in casual encounters that I can then rate. I want a connection, something real. I'm hoping not the only one...

LifeBalance - 30 Jun, 2023 - 06:42PM

If someone is rating someone on a website then they’re not really lovers. They’re just hooking up for a meaningless shag. It’s bound to be pretty crap because there hasn’t been time to develop a connection. You only get that by getting to know each other & learning what really turns each other on.

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tislookingup - 30 Jun, 2023 - 03:24PM

I'm sure women must realise that a large number of men, here, are `racking-up the numbers' as they bounce around the country?
Often the women they meet are given ratings on Sex Punter Sites where, affectively, men compare the lady's `performance' for general perusal. It's almost like pass-the-parcel, in a distant sort of way.

 1 member likes this comment.

BlindingPleasure - 28 Jun, 2023 - 10:10AM

Going to share a funny story about performance. I was with this guy, met at hotel, started kissing undressing and he apologised and said he needed the toilet.

After a rather long wait he returned looking uncomfortable. Few more kisses and then the smell hit like a brick. He told me he has been for dinner at his sister's and the chicken was not fully done ....so u know what that smell was. 💩💩💩💩

I was overwhelmed with it and decided no thanks.

 1 member likes this comment.

1575958 - 20 Jun, 2023 - 01:54PM

Im not the type to kiss and tell. That's between me and the other person. I'm also not here to judge, everyone is different and has different levels of experience. There is also the matter of what they will, or more importantly, won't do.

Enjoy the moment I say and chalk it up to experience.

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pariahd - 15 Jun, 2023 - 06:22PM

I was chatting to woman who took great pains to describe how inadequate her former lover had been in very graphic terms.

Didn’t exactly enamour her to me as I thought I’d end up being next if I ventured there.

 1 member likes this comment.

pariahd - 15 Jun, 2023 - 06:22PM

I was chatting to woman who took great pains to describe how inadequate her former lover had been in very graphic terms.

Didn’t exactly enamour her to me as I thought I’d end up being next if I ventured there.

Paula99 - 10 Jun, 2023 - 03:58PM

Room 101 for this subject …

Confucius say …

If you want to deal in revenge …dig 2 graves

 1 member likes this comment.

Kitten55 - 09 Jun, 2023 - 03:21PM

Gosh that’s so subjective isn’t it, and the same person on a different day would surely rate differently? I think it’s either good and worth it or it’s not and the communication needs to be there. I think I’m confident enough to say what I like and what I don’t but if given the ick at any point… we’ll the ick is hard to recover from but I’m guessing they must score quite highly in order to have fit to that stage. I never do ONS and this whole thing made me wonder what kind of interactions other people have or what they really want.
I want different things at different times too.
Is this really a thing?
If it was the rating would be honest but my reaction would probably be enough for the rating to be clear- “this isn’t really working for me” is fairly difinitive but that slides my mean if the ‘this’ changed it still wouldn’t. Sometimes it takes time to learn each other but the effort needs to be worth it to begin with.

Enigma.. - 02 Jun, 2023 - 10:53AM

Oh! Dear lord…

Some comments from the (coughs) male side of things on here… laughable.

Excuse me… whilst I examine my nails 😏😉😂.

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Tillymintz - 02 Jun, 2023 - 10:08AM

That’s just poor taste, if in fact it’s true. Surely if you don’t see each other again then it’s a sign that it didn’t go that well who needs to be put down after the fact?

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ConraddKr - 28 May, 2023 - 03:01PM

The Joy of Impotence - 27 May, 2023

Oh really? That's not what I've been hearing


1588157 - 27 May, 2023 - 10:47PM

So heres the thing.......should flapjack contain fruit?

Im a traditional oats syrup n butter man

The Joy of Impotence - 27 May, 2023 - 05:55AM


O, yes. Absolutely! Super fun!!

1588157 - 27 May, 2023 - 12:44AM

A whoopee cushion is fun?

Who knew.

Personally id rather have the flapjack

 1 member likes this comment.

achilliesj - 26 May, 2023 - 09:34PM

Who needs a score!

WillKr - 26 May, 2023 - 09:18PM

Joy of impotence

So as long as its fun its good?

A whoopee cushion is fun, so is that all we need?

1583652 - 25 May, 2023 - 10:41AM


1588157 - 25 May, 2023 - 12:07AM

Flapjack recipe..........madness lol

The Joy of Impotence - 24 May, 2023 - 07:54PM

Performance can be a sore point....it all sounds so serious! Personally, I'd rather enjoy a good laugh than serious pummelling. Maybe swap a flapjack recipe or a great way to cook cauliflower?
As long as it's fun, all is good.
Enjoy your floppiness and smile...

 5 members like this comment.

1543678 - 24 May, 2023 - 04:18PM

So many different preferences out there. Impossible to say if someone is a 10 for one person they will also be a 10 for another. Ive known females who adore soft caressing, kisses, oral and cuddles and then others who like none of that and many dont even know what they like until they are given it in the best way for them. Its both shallow and naive to rate someones sexual ability in my eyes! Compatability, trust and consideration is everything

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1588157 - 23 May, 2023 - 10:38PM

Quite often the earth doesnt move and the fireworks dont explode on first sexual encounters so rating your partner may be premature and unfair

This is because one or both of you are nervous or dont wamt to scare the bjesus out of the other party in csae you dont get an offer of a return match.

Instead as the trust and communication grow between you the sex often gets better as you progress.

 3 members like this comment.

TheBoredHousewife - 23 May, 2023 - 11:01AM

On a side note, there used to be someone who posted here about his IEs having to be 9s or 10s in looks. Thing is, someone’s 9 or 10/10 might be another person’s 6/10.
We all rate according to different criteria. But I do know what I like, and like BeckyS and DottyG mentioned, it’s not an objective rating but a holistic one. Things have obviously gone well if we want to see each other again!

 5 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 23 May, 2023 - 10:37AM

Sandypops - 08:20PM

Exactly my point ... at least you've read the topic! 👏

ExoticOrchid - 23 May, 2023 - 10:33AM

Errrmmm people really DON'T read the topic, do they?

The OP is talking about people SECRETLY rating a lover (lovers) ... I've heard many talk about a lover being good or bad ... same thing, innit ... not about having an App or publicly announcing it.

There are men and women who rate appearance on a scale of 1 to 10 ... we've all heard it ... even if just as banter ... 🤷🏻‍♀️

 3 members like this comment.

1599959 - 22 May, 2023 - 10:05PM

Sandypops - 22 May, 2023 - 08:20PM

Selfishly and making myself the main character for a second, I'm just glad you didn't take away from that one person's comment that I read the Daily Mail

MostlyNice - 22 May, 2023 - 09:02PM

Who said romance was dead?

Sandypops - 22 May, 2023 - 08:20PM

I love reading the comments on these forums.
My take on this rather strange question is that some people 'secretly' give performance ratings, they don't actually tell the person involved.
Yes that sounds weird but I suppose we all think ... how good was the sex/sexual chemistry? Do we want to repeat it? That's the 'did we connect' sexually bit, I think. And no, I don't give a rating, that's weird and rude BUT the sexual connection may or may not be there. A proper connection requires each to be comfortable with each other enough to say what they like and don't like and how they like it. And of course reading each others body language, which often means we don't actually need to communicate with words. Many of you are much more experienced with having an affair than I am, but personally, I'm just going with the flow and enjoying myself. I'd rather have a great mental connection with someone than just great sex and no real mental connection. A good mental connection = good sex for me.

 3 members like this comment.

PonderingOne - 22 May, 2023 - 07:54PM

No although, if asked, would be honest (!) about what was enjoyed and what wasn’t. Rather than performance rating. If having to think about it then I suggest you are just not compatible.

dirkdiggler96 - 22 May, 2023 - 02:51PM

@Paula, quite happy with it to be honest. I agree, it is an absurd question but when the opportunity presents itself, then boast.

 2 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 22 May, 2023 - 02:38PM

This is a complete and utter load of bollox that will create a nightmare for everyone..

Everyone has a different standard and ideals about what is good and what isn’t ..someone will tell you there is a great place to eat you should try it ..when you get there you think this isn’t the place for me ..

It will also achieve more performance anxiety …more negative feedback and more worry’s than we already have and that’s too much 👎👎

Whoever thought of this question needs to get out more 😖

 5 members like this comment.

dirkdiggler96 - 22 May, 2023 - 02:31PM

All my ratings are 11/10, the women can barely breathe afterwards let alone score me on an app.

 1 member likes this comment.

1454768 - 22 May, 2023 - 02:23PM

Performance ratings is not a good idea. But I always wondered if us men and some girls would behave better if there was Airbnb style feedback. It would stop alot of angry men with small penises turning their rejection into anger of they knew every other women would hear about it, for instance
What else would you rate?

 2 members like this comment.

Engbizman - 22 May, 2023 - 02:18PM

Never understood the need to objectify or quantify something like this.
It’s two people ( well could be more) each giving and receiving pleasure. Depends on the context, the time, the circumstances.

I would always encourage and work on things to be better.

1598862 - 22 May, 2023 - 02:03PM

On many occasioins I,ve listened to both men & women talk / rate lovers etc and mafe me smile i had not really thought about my own performace when i was married 30 years ! .
I guess i did begin once i started to date again ,i was 50 at this point and would lay with my lover thinking i hope she liked it .
It will always be different with other people i find even now its really easy to talk aboit it and learn from eacher other ,make it fun and enjoy .

Blueyes335 - 22 May, 2023 - 01:27PM

On meeting your IE, 'Please hold while I reset my HowWellDidYouDoMeter. Calibration must be completed before we can begin'.

Cracking start to a romantic/sexual/sensual or other encounter..

Might be having an off day or two, self included.

If you're unable to constructively say how you'd like it to be, you need to grow a pair.

Or just enjoy the moment, shy, non confident, all play a role

 2 members like this comment.

James319 - 22 May, 2023 - 12:27PM

Anyone from glasgow here? Also yes you would definitely know about it if you’re hitting all the right spots

SecretCompany - 22 May, 2023 - 12:08PM

If you’re doing it right, you’ll know!

1599959 - 22 May, 2023 - 11:21AM

ExoticOrchid - 22 May, 2023 - 11:16AM

Dear god, no lol. But it sounds like the rubbish they'd print.

Dotty Green - 22 May, 2023 - 11:20AM

tonicwithice - 22 May, 2023 - 09:25AM

Marks out of ten? I'd give 'em one. - hahaha someone always says this to me!

I think what Becky says is true - if it is rubbish are you going to bother arranging to see each other again.......

Do I rate them nope - just know when it's Great or if it is dire...... As Johnny says each experience is different with a different person and can you really rate ... I take each encounter as they cum ;)

 1 member likes this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 22 May, 2023 - 11:16AM

Future-Atom - 22 May, 2023 - 10:02AM

You read the Daily Mail???

 1 member likes this comment.

Beckysharp - 22 May, 2023 - 10:04AM

If I have had a good experience I would want to see someone again. I think that is the best indicator. If it wasn’t great- I just move on. I’m not looking to train anyone up!

 3 members like this comment.

1599959 - 22 May, 2023 - 10:02AM

Sounds like something in the daily mail lol

 1 member likes this comment.

Johnnylondon - 22 May, 2023 - 09:53AM

Wow! That's a crazy thought. No, it would even occur to me to give a performance rating as tonicwithissaid (nice joke btw) it takes two to tango.
I've never asked for or been asked for feedback that, to me is something you have fun with during sex.
With ladies being so different, down to what side of the clit is more sensitive) then the feedback is in the reactions of the receiver no?
Plus there's the chat In-between about what you do and don't like / would or would not like to try. I just don't see the need for a performance review rating.
Or maybe I'm the odd one 🤷‍♂️

 3 members like this comment.

Beckysharp - 22 May, 2023 - 09:29AM

I don’t give marks out of 10! But I would be able to rank from best to worst. My current lover being best obviously 😉

If someone asked me for feedback on their performance I would find that very off putting though. Sex should be mutual to be fully enjoyed

 1 member likes this comment.

tonicwithice - 22 May, 2023 - 09:25AM

Marks out of ten? I'd give 'em one.

That's got that out of the way! More seriously I think it's a little bit odd as it takes 2 to tango. That said I'm sure there are some people out there with a spreadsheet and/or an improvement plan with a SMART objective.

Pete likes wine - 22 May, 2023 - 09:25AM

OMG what a topic! We are surrounded by performance metrics in all ways through life - so no I detest the idea of giving my lover or my lover giving me a performance rating - but I am not adverse to hearing that wasn't as good as when you did x y and z and vice versa etc - because that way you understand you lover better and help meet there inner desires but no not ratings!!

 2 members like this comment.

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