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Distance & IEs

How do you feel about the distance between you and a potential IE? For example, I receive messages from men who live in other parts of the country but travel with work to my area. Personally, it makes me feel like they're looking for a hook up in every port they travel to. Is it better that they live in your county or the next? Can an affair be better and more fulfilling the nearer the person lives?

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Comments (138)

laugar164 - 21 Sep, 2023 - 12:38PM

Paula99 fanny flutter not heard that in ages 😂

Paula99 - 20 Sep, 2023 - 02:34PM

I have made many posts about distance and however much spin you put on it …it only works if you have the connection/chemistry and the extra 10 % commitment ..

Lots of factors determine your affair …family ..work ..kids …I have experienced a distance affair and it it’s not easy ..if the person you want to see inspires you/ is a friend/ confidant and makes your Fanny flutter then the mountain comes to Mohammed..

It’s a personal choice .😂😂😂

Be safe ❤️

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1612345 - 20 Sep, 2023 - 08:32AM

I enjoyed a 11-year affair because my inamorata lived 15 minutes away. We could have lunch and make love up to 3 days a week. Evenings out were also possible. She was partnered with another man, but they lived apart, so she could 'host' or 'accommodate' me at her flat.
I don't think our affair would have lasted longer than many marriages had it not been for this - and our proximity. Few middle-aged, middle-class married men with a mortgage to pay and a pension to fund can afford daytime hotel meets, a decent meal out plus movie, drinks and so on more than once or twice a month - if that - and not create a suspicious hole in the family finances. So the relationship becomes a series of brief encounters - maybe 12 per year? Could be enough for some romantics, but surely most would find that situation more frustrating than fulfilling.
Banal but true: one lover's ability to host – and the proximity between both parties – are crucial factors in any successful liaison. And honestly? I suspect that's pretty

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TheBoredHousewife - 19 Sep, 2023 - 08:19PM

Come back soon Enigma. Love your posts 😘

 1 member likes this comment.

Dadbod47 - 19 Sep, 2023 - 05:44PM

I’d rather have someone who likes me and wants to be with me on those special days together. Distance shouldn’t come into it.

If you are local it’s just there no effort needed.

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Enigma.. - 19 Sep, 2023 - 02:41PM

Good luck to you all 🍀😉😊❤️💋

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Enigma.. - 19 Sep, 2023 - 02:39PM

But I’ll be back… 😉
I’m not going to let some lying male fannie get me down.
Besides he’d better beware.
Hopefully his profile will be taken down soon.
No refund 😏😉😂

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Enigma.. - 19 Sep, 2023 - 02:36PM

Someone with more money than sense… lol.

Eliza Boo - 19 Sep, 2023 - 02:27PM

Enigma - goodluck celtic goddess. Its a bloody pity you're stranded up there. x

Beckysharp - 19 Sep, 2023 - 02:13PM

What a shame Enigma you will be missed!

I’m planning to use the report button much more if needed in the future. It’s not right some of the low level stuff that we just eye roll rather than report

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Enigma.. - 19 Sep, 2023 - 01:58PM

Thank you @Paula99
I’ll wish you and all my friends here on Flirt Forum all the best… mwah 💋
Unfortunately some males on this site can’t deal with the fact I’m not interested…
Today I actually had to report someone.
No further comment

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Paula99 - 19 Sep, 2023 - 12:02PM


Hope you find a site that works better for you. ..good luck 🍀

Iamnotkevin - 19 Sep, 2023 - 11:59AM

I am always upfront if I contact someone who lives further than is practical for meeting.

Sometimes you read a profile and just think - hmmm they sound like my sort of person, perhaps they have some time to spare just to chat. If not then nothing ventured, nothing gained and we can all move on with our search.

I have had some wonderfully naughty conversations with ladies I know I will never meet and for me at least a sexy phone call or exchange of messages is entirely free of guilt.

Not only that, up to a point you can abandon your usual preferences for looks when it's just text or voice chatting and just enjoy each others kinks, quirks and preferences.

Distance definitely does not have to be a disadvantage and can present its own opportunities!

Enigma.. - 19 Sep, 2023 - 11:50AM

Unfortunately due to lack of availability and any male within reasonable travelling distance.
I’m bowing out of this site.

Enigma.. - 19 Sep, 2023 - 08:49AM

Believe it or not…
I’m actually having better conversations and more stimulating conversations, on the site, with gent’s who live down south.
Yes…. We shall never meet up due to distance.
But…. I do enjoy good banter and intelligent conversation.

Enigma.. - 19 Sep, 2023 - 08:45AM

@tarnished knight…

Thank you for your kind offer sir.

But alas I live over 4 hours away from your good self.


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ExoticOrchid - 18 Sep, 2023 - 06:04PM

DMB - 12:11PM

Many are trying to be discreet about their location and don't want to advertise where exactly they live ... people seem to forget that tiny little fact!!! 🤷🏻‍♀️

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andyluvslegs - 18 Sep, 2023 - 01:35PM

I would only be interested in meeting someone within 90 mins drive, otherwise I just dont think we would meet very often!

DefinitelyMightBe - 18 Sep, 2023 - 12:11PM

I don’t think IEs system is completely accurate when it comes to postcodes too though. Seems to default to the nearest city with some postcodes which can be a fair bit away from that city.

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tarnished knight - 16 Sep, 2023 - 10:20PM

#Enigma- I'm no where near Glasgow,but if you end up looking near the north east, drop me a line, I may just take the bait....lol

Paula99 - 16 Sep, 2023 - 06:21PM

Meeting an old lover is like trying on a pair of comfy slippers …you never forget and surprisingly how quickly it all comes flooding back..especially if your relationship was long term..the emotions can be high…😘

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Chrissy648 - 16 Sep, 2023 - 02:58PM

I had a very long affair with someone who lived nearby. The person then moved abroad After 2 years they came home for a visit and we met up. Amazing how it was still there.

Mellen1974 - 13 Sep, 2023 - 08:26PM

I enjoy going a distance to have a meet ... Knowing what I'm driving away from home to do and also be somewhere I can relax enough in someone elses company to not be recognized. To book a hotel room to get showered and pampered and dress in something sexy for the arrival of the man invited. Eager for his touch and kiss ... Distance from home helps get my head into the space of enjoying making my fantasy real. 😜

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Enigma.. - 11 Sep, 2023 - 10:35PM

I get messages through from males who have as their location “Glasgow”.
So we start messaging on the site and I quickly discover that they don’t actually live in Glasgow but miles away from the city.
I’ve asked several of these males why put Glasgow as their location when they actually don’t live there?
It’s always the same answer.
Lack of or no active females anywhere near them.
I find I am having to cast my net wider, county wise, to find someone suitable.
At this rate…. If I look any further north I’ll be fishing about the North Sea.
Any further south I’ll be over the border.
I’d put lol after both those sentences but, unfortunately, it’s no longer funny.

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Mister.E.Mann - 11 Sep, 2023 - 07:24PM

I'm fascinated by this debate. On the one hand, people a worried about "being seen" if they meet locally. For me, the worry is about spending too much time away and raising suspicions at home!

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logicboy - 11 Sep, 2023 - 05:14PM

Given where I live and the lack of appropriate suitors I have been scanning a little further afield. For me, I'm 100% up for travelling the distance for an initial fairly platonic meet up (dinner or drinks) to see if there is a strong connection. And if there is then take it from there...

I think the distance from home takes away any anxiety in terms of discretion and presume that if there's a strong connection then a little planning and travelling is a price worth paying for a fulfilling affair.

Having said that the majority of feedback I'm getting is that I live too far away...

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Chris6069uk - 11 Sep, 2023 - 02:01PM

Meeting half way could be interesting if half way was a public park.

laugar164 - 11 Sep, 2023 - 09:43AM

Paula99 I travel with work and normally stay over in hotels
I had a long affair with a fabulous lady from Bolton we chat most days and out meets we're electric
Shame it had to finish

Shoutout - 11 Sep, 2023 - 09:36AM

Living nearer does makes things easier, but I think we are also aware if the old adage 'Don't s**t on your own doorstep' especially when discretion is working to successful encounters...

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Enigma.. - 10 Sep, 2023 - 12:53PM

Suddenly I’ve got “The Proclaimers” song singing in my head… 😃😉

“Well I will walk 500 miles” etc…

Me! Travel 500 miles??

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bobloblaw10 - 09 Sep, 2023 - 11:15PM

Distance can be tricky, but as someone else has says being too close introduces different problems. I think it depends on the connection. I've travelled over 2 hours and it was 100% worth it for that person - but we already knew the connection was there, and we'd take it in turns.

Bobby224 - 09 Sep, 2023 - 08:39PM


I agree ideally the chance of an impromptu meeting is very exciting! I also like that regular chat, for me as I’m available every evening I like to chat every night and during the day of each day. I think it’s important. When you are in an affair I think in the same conversation you can talk a bit mundane and sexy in the conversation. I like to connect with my secret lover so chatting about everything with no boundaries so to speak is a must. Speaking for a week before a meet and then just a few random messages I between is not for me. But through experience idpf you are with rather right person and you click both near and far can work. Obviously if their is distance involved you have to have more patience and find other ways to be close between meets.

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Naughty in NW - 09 Sep, 2023 - 06:56PM

Many moons ago I had a long distance relationship. He drove for over four hours to see me and back to his home. Occasional overnighters when we could, but more often a bloody long day commute for him. It lasted about a year, then I called it a day due to the distance. I felt a bit guilty that he did all the travelling as he had more time availabile, but he insisted. It sort of troubled me. But f**k me, the meet ups were hotter than Satan's boxer shorts.

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Paula99 - 09 Sep, 2023 - 06:30PM

A few years ago I spent 2 half years travelling to see my IE.. ..at the time I had NEVER intended to do ‘distance ‘ meets but the guy I met .. whom I am still friends with now ..was a rare exception… I was in a different profession then and I had a lot more time to spend but J is a great guy ..he travelled because of his job…..he always made an effort to be within a decent driving distance and we had good laughs and great sex ..we texted on a daily basis and everything was always arranged in advance


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Sandypops - 09 Sep, 2023 - 04:29PM

Too close can create complications of being seen. Too far can make meeting more difficult.
Personally, it would depend on each circumstances. I like to meet regularly, and I like nothing more than an impromptu 'what are you doing today, let's meet' but I wouldn't discount less regular meeting if the connection was strong enough and the chat was regular in between.
It's what works for each affair.

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Sandypops - 09 Sep, 2023 - 04:24PM

"It certainly cuts down on your time together.
I have done the 1hour 30 min journey and I started to feel the trip was not worth it, and as it happened it wasn't!"

Harsh 😳 I wonder if they felt the same, hence leaving you to do the travelling 😂

Johnnylondon - 09 Sep, 2023 - 01:18PM

I had an affair with a girl in another country last year. It worked well for us. She was living where my head office was based and I had to travel there once every 4-6 weeks. I had offices in other areas fairly close too so sometimes we would take a little road trip. In between meets we would have good chats and work out the next meet. Only downside is that it had to stop when I moved jobs but we still keep in touch.
So I guess it depends on the circumstances. If it works for you then it works as long as it doesn't just work for one person then it's all good IMO

Smiler91863 - 09 Sep, 2023 - 11:37AM

For me, it’s difficult to believe things are real until they’re right in front of me. So a connection needs to be confirmed over a coffee / beer first. I wouldn’t want to drive over 30 minutes ideally for that first meeting. Is that too limiting?

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boav91 - 09 Sep, 2023 - 10:48AM

I had wondered about trying to contact people further away, especially if I travel there sometime for work, but tend to stick to inmidiate neighbouring counties. I don’t need to see the person ever week or every months although that would be nice. In fact some separation, as others say, keeps the anticipation as long as there is contact in between. Too far just makes it complex . Having said that I did try with someone who lived in the US so I guess that was some distance 🙄

Funnily enough did not quite work out for regular meets

chris19389 - 03 Apr, 2023 - 10:02PM

@lorelai I just want to give you a big hug, being distant from your lover is a tough thing to bear x

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TheBoredHousewife - 03 Apr, 2023 - 07:37PM

Quixotic - 03 Apr, 2023 - 12:52PM
Right now it looks only like a call from Ghost.

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1588499 - 03 Apr, 2023 - 12:52PM

TBH - let's hope that phone starts going 🤞🏼

TheBoredHousewife - 03 Apr, 2023 - 11:50AM

Quixotic - 03 Apr, 2023 - 12:02AM

Blue skies over the next couple of days predicted. Pity I’m stuck looking at four walls and computer screens. Would really rather be out in the fresh air somewhere ☀️🕶️⛰️

1588499 - 03 Apr, 2023 - 12:02AM

The weather keeps us well watered, TBH. Just like all you irresistible southern ladies 😉

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TheBoredHousewife - 02 Apr, 2023 - 08:47PM

Springit - 02 Apr, 2023 - 03:46PM

Must be something great going for these guys up North that makes them so irresistible 😉

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1590175 - 02 Apr, 2023 - 03:53PM

Are you saying us 'southern gals' are all fake and after something???!!! 😆😆

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Springit - 02 Apr, 2023 - 03:46PM

I’ve had messages from women in the south - I’m near Chester. I’m not sure what they’re after or I’ve been thinking it’s from fake accounts , but I haven’t replied as they’re too far away to keep anything going.

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Eliza Boo - 31 Mar, 2023 - 08:24PM


TheBoredHousewife - 31 Mar, 2023 - 08:02PM

Lorelai Gilmore - 31 Mar, 2023 - 07:58PM

I make a mean Scouse 😁

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Eliza Boo - 31 Mar, 2023 - 07:58PM

You are 3 Mixmchelin Stars! 😘😘😘

TheBoredHousewife - 31 Mar, 2023 - 06:00PM

Lorelai Gilmore - 31 Mar, 2023 - 05:00PM

If it doesn’t require effort, it probably isn’t worth 3 Michelin Stars

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Eliza Boo - 31 Mar, 2023 - 05:00PM

The thing with distance is you never get bored, and you're always desperate for them. Complacency just doesn't exist. But you have to fight for it really fucking hard, and you have to want them so bad that nothing else will do. And you'll lie and plot and plan and go to great lengths to make it happen. So more risky. And sometimes just the want and the longing is almost impossible to swallow. It is not an easy path, so it has to be something you really want to make happen. And most people just couldn't be arsed with that. I get that.

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Petruchio911 - 30 Mar, 2023 - 11:24PM


People in london dont know anywhere ......outside the m25 is oooop north

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Sammi468 - 30 Mar, 2023 - 10:30PM

It certainly cuts down on your time together.
I have done the 1hour 30 min journey and I started to feel the trip was not worth it, and as it happened it wasnt!

ExoticOrchid - 26 Mar, 2023 - 09:56PM

Quixotic - 09:06PM

Mo man is worth going all that way for of course ... just happened that he was already there and I was passing with just a slight detour needed ... my IEs usually travel to my area. And yes, even from another continent!

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1588499 - 26 Mar, 2023 - 09:06PM

Beckysharp - 07:57AM

We were only about 1:30 from each other so it was usually somewhere in the Peak District less than 1 hour.

I'm still reeling at Exotic's escapades to Dubai and Singapore. Of course, your catchment area increases exponentially, not linearly, with distance so it makes sense to be prepared to travel a bit further but I'm not sure Heathrow Airport would ever be in my plans. Hardcore IE'ing!

(Edit: 'less than' sign cuts off the rest of the text.)

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1588499 - 26 Mar, 2023 - 09:01PM

Beckysharp - 07:57AM

We were only about 1:30 from each other so it was usually somewhere in the Peak District

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Beckysharp - 26 Mar, 2023 - 12:10PM

Oh I wasn’t saying it wasn’t BS TBH 😉. And quite obviously at that! Silly man!

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Johnboy56 - 26 Mar, 2023 - 12:06PM

As a newbie, distance will be an issue as , while it is nice to get messages, they are not always from the area you state in the profile. Planning to a degree is important, whilst things happen out of your control,If I say I will at least turn up for a prospective meeting., and see what transpires. Why spend time(2 hours +) driving?

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TheBoredHousewife - 26 Mar, 2023 - 11:53AM


The reason why it’s hogwash is because he messaged me again months later and never mentioned this substantial lady that was so clearly into him, giving a totally different past IE history. I think if people want to give an elaborate story, at least fabricate it well, and make sure it is water tight! 😜

Right! And that’s discounting the road works, accidents and rush hour traffic! 😂

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Saint_David - 26 Mar, 2023 - 11:39AM

I've said my views on distance before on here but I'm ultimately realistic.... a 2 hour trip just doesn't fit if it was just for a quickie but with a plush hotel booked for the night waiting at the other end then it takes on a different aura.
Obviously it depends on overnight availability (or at least a late-pass til the small hours) to make it work, or if you were planning seeing them 7 days a week it'd be ridiculous, but that's a different question about regularity.... when does an IE cross the line and become just dating? surely that negates the whole attraction of a secret liaison??

ExoticOrchid - 26 Mar, 2023 - 10:38AM

IYM - 10:27AM

What if they are left handed? 🤔🤣

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Hedone - 26 Mar, 2023 - 10:27AM

I don’t think distance matters to men. Most are quite happy engaging in dirty chat and their right hand…you don’t need to travel for that

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Beckysharp - 26 Mar, 2023 - 10:12AM

I met a guy for a drink off here once who regularly travels between highlands and Oxford! But not for meets (as far as I’m aware!). We are still in touch and he sends me lovely photos of the northern lights/whales etc 😊

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Enigma.. - 26 Mar, 2023 - 09:53AM



It takes me about 45mins plus to travel from Ayr to Glasgow by train.

I get messages through, practically on a daily basis, from men living in London. That’s a 7.5 hours drive!?! Lol.

I want to meet someone who I can actually have a relationship with 🤷🏼‍♀️

Not spend most of my time and money on travelling. Seriously!?! Get real guy’s 😂

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TheBoredHousewife - 26 Mar, 2023 - 09:02AM

I don’t think I’d be able to hack a 2 hour return journey each way, let alone an hour (absolute maximum, and only on occasion). But I once met with a guy who said his Ex travelled from the Highlands to meet him in London…..weekly!

Obviously utter hogwash. But hey, whatever it takes to get a lay, just don’t make it so obvious 😏

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Beckysharp - 26 Mar, 2023 - 07:57AM

I’m moving to London too if/when I have to start looking again! I have noticed that London guys rarely travel out of London for meets as they have so many options in the city lucky gits 😂

I guess the rest of us will have to stick to travelling or waiting to find someone local. I’m impressed that some people travel 2 hours (each way?!) regularly though!! That’s dedication!!! I can’t imagine getting that to work for me

What’s the furthest you’ve travelled quixotic?

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Dotty Green - 25 Mar, 2023 - 07:49PM

Enigma.. - 25 Mar, 2023 - 06:40PM

We’d make you welcome 🤗

Enigma.. - 25 Mar, 2023 - 06:40PM


I’m thinking of moving to the London area.
It seems that’s where most members live and where all the action, lol, is…. 😉.

Sneaking around!?! I just want to meet someone who can actually meet up lol 😂

 1 member likes this comment.

Enigma.. - 25 Mar, 2023 - 06:31PM

@Dotty Green

I’ve had 2 wonderful affairs from this site.

Unfortunately a lot of male members can’t do day time meets…. Well in my area.
Not available during the day. They can meet for a couple of hours in the evening. When I’m not available.
Weekends they can do Saturday during the day but not in the evening and are not available on Sundays. I sometimes work on a Saturday and I’m available Saturday evenings and Sundays.

It’s so frustrating.

 1 member likes this comment.

Enigma.. - 25 Mar, 2023 - 02:34PM

@Dotty Green

It’s not got that far… why?

Distance, no availability etc, etc

Lily of the Valley - 25 Mar, 2023 - 07:47AM


This one’s local to Oxford. distance doesn’t bother me if there’s mutual attraction

ExoticOrchid - 24 Mar, 2023 - 06:25PM

Right, to answer the OP's question ... different strokes for different folks as they say ... sometimes distance does matter and becomes an issue ... sometimes it works as more effort is put into meeting regularly as opposed to a more local IE who might not, etc, etc.
In my experience, I see the IE who lives in a different country and continent more often than the one who lives in the next county. Go figure. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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ExoticOrchid - 24 Mar, 2023 - 06:07PM

Quixotic- 05:41PM

(takes a bow) 🤣

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1588499 - 24 Mar, 2023 - 05:41PM

ExoticOrchid - 02:08PM

Bloody hell! The show's over! 🥇

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ExoticOrchid - 24 Mar, 2023 - 03:32PM


Thank you ladies ... yes, it was great! 😊

Dotty Green - 24 Mar, 2023 - 03:04PM

ExoticOrchid - 24 Mar, 2023 - 02:08PM

Good to see you back hope you had FUN

 1 member likes this comment.

Paula99 - 24 Mar, 2023 - 02:30PM

Welcome back Exotic ..x

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ExoticOrchid - 24 Mar, 2023 - 02:08PM

Quixotic - 10:16AM

How about Dubai and Singapore for that first meet ... far enough for you? 😉

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Lonewolf203 - 24 Mar, 2023 - 09:19AM

distance shouldnt matter as having an affair close to home is way too risky of getting caught

Dotty Green - 24 Mar, 2023 - 09:15AM

Enigma.. - 24 Mar, 2023 - 07:08AM

I have had a lot of different meets - my first long term IE - we met day times, afternoons into evenings, over nights, and weekend away..... (it went on for a few years)

Since then my meets have been day times (all day - not just a lunch time quickie that is not for me), normally between 3 and 4 weeks and for me that works out just well, I know this would not be acceptable to some.

For me it is the planning then the excitement of the meet, choosing our hotel, planning nice food and wine and of course for me nice lingerie.... then close the door and have our fun shutting the world away.

We can meet up for coffee/lunch/drink in between meets which is nice too.

 1 member likes this comment.

1587581 - 24 Mar, 2023 - 08:29AM


The flip side to that is I can come and go as I want, yet I'm finding that puts more off than it attracts. There's simply no/not enough jeopardy to make the affair feel "illicit" enough.

It seems the sneaking about to some is the most important part of the entire arrangement.

 1 member likes this comment.

Enigma.. - 24 Mar, 2023 - 07:08AM

Unfortunately a lot of men work Monday to Friday 9 - 5. This usually means they cannot meet during week day’s. Unless, of course, their job allows them to get out and about.

Like most female members on the site, I should imagine, my first question is…

When and how often can you meet up?

If they can’t do week day meetings or are restricted over the weekend… then it’s a no from me.

What’s the point in forking out money, to be on the site, for a few weeks when you can only meet once a month or less 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Biggest issue I have on here… 🙄

 4 members like this comment.

Dotty Green - 24 Mar, 2023 - 06:19AM

Miss Chief 76 - 23 Mar, 2023 - 06:28PM

I don’t think Paula was saying she’s a newbie - her question/statement was for newbies to get their take on the whole distance thing. I guess the job was because in other posts on this thread people have mentioned people who travel with their work … ie might not live in your area but are a regular visitor…

I definitely agree with you about availability … that needs to work - for example if someone wanted a weekly meet that wouldn’t work for me. I’m definitely not that interested in work/home life - our time together should just be about us.

And it’s finally Friday !!

Saint_David - 23 Mar, 2023 - 10:32PM

Not wishing to turn this into a pissing competition but I regularly did a hundred mile commute into work the morning after. I was like the milk tray man by leaving her with a smile on her face before speeding off at daybreak. It always helps when you're an early riser though.....

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chris19389 - 23 Mar, 2023 - 10:16PM

@rhondda ronin how far did your partner go for you?

Paula99 - 23 Mar, 2023 - 08:08PM

Miss chief..

It’s just a…ice breaker ..who knows what others think ….. just food for thought ?

By the way ..you’re not new to this ..😊😊

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1588499 - 23 Mar, 2023 - 06:54PM

It's getting hot in here 🥵

Hedone - 23 Mar, 2023 - 06:50PM

MC 76

Spot on girl 👍

 1 member likes this comment.

1483842 - 23 Mar, 2023 - 06:28PM

Paula99 - 23 Mar, 2023 - 03:17PM

You? A newbie? Ha. If being on here for 15 years or so makes me an old hat so be it.

As for a mans profession, I don't care. I ask 3 questions at the start of any potentials. This is so I can establish compatibility.

Availability Expectations Boundaries.

The Availability question is the most important at the very beginning. If a gent doesn't match my availability then it's game over. His job is none of my business and doesn't even come into having an affair. If we can both meet for that amount of time then what does his job have to do with it?

 1 member likes this comment.

Paula99 - 23 Mar, 2023 - 03:17PM

For all the newbies in here …try the distance IE and let us know how it worked/didn’t work for you..
It might be interesting if you tell us what profession he/she has and if they travelled for work or they were willing to travel/whether you met half way..how long did it last./not last as the case maybe..

I know what works for me and I have had a couple of successful affairs to boot ..

Enlighten us ‘old hats ‘ 🎩 😊😊😊

Lily of the Valley - 23 Mar, 2023 - 01:30PM

I have travelled to Oxford for my meets. That’s 2 hours for me.

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Dotty Green - 23 Mar, 2023 - 10:40AM

Quixotic - 23 Mar, 2023 - 10:16AM

Heathrow - we had met in town for the first couple of meets then due to his work it ended up being Heathrow - it turned out to be very Meh .....

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Beckysharp - 23 Mar, 2023 - 10:27AM

I had a one off with a guy who travelled about 200 miles to meet me off here quixotic

If he’d been closer to me we might have developed into something more, but at that distance not possible

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Romeo_Abz - 23 Mar, 2023 - 10:23AM

See for me I'll be willing to travel as I'm finding it very difficult to find anyone near by so maybe they are in the same position as myself? Also why not meet for a coffee or something and see how it goes from there.
Might be able to connect from the very first moment.

1588499 - 23 Mar, 2023 - 10:16AM

What's the *farthest* anyone has gone to meet up?

 1 member likes this comment.

Old Sapper - 23 Mar, 2023 - 09:57AM

If it's for a regular IE, then not that close that we're likely to meet people we know, yet not too far away as to make meeting up awkward.

Enigma.. - 22 Mar, 2023 - 07:05AM

Where I live there are very few active male members.
I usually find myself travelling to Glasgow, by train, which is only about 45mins time wise, for meets.
As for those that can only meet up once a month or longer.
Bye bye.
I’m looking for something more regular 😉😃

 3 members like this comment.

Enigma.. - 22 Mar, 2023 - 07:01AM

I was communicating with a man who worked in Glasgow during the week but lived in London on weekends.
It got as far as arranging to meet up when…
A friend of mine, who lives in Glasgow and was on the site last year, phoned me to say that she had met her next Ie.
Do tell… said I.
Turns out it was the same man.
Apparently he had women in both London and Glasgow.
Needless to say we both blocked him.
After that I have avoided anyone who travels a great distance for work.
If that puts a lot of men out of the running… so be it.

 8 members like this comment.

Petruchio911 - 22 Mar, 2023 - 01:43AM

The local thing is ok as long as its not too local. I wouldnt want to bump into anyone either of us know whilst out and about

 1 member likes this comment.

1586837 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 10:54PM

Yeah,my thoughts excatly...it will be exactly same situation why you are on here in first place,once every 2/3 months at the best....than said that I wouldn't want someone too close(found someone actually on here from same small town as me) only my fecking luck 🤣

 3 members like this comment.

Redfirefox - 21 Mar, 2023 - 10:32PM

I don’t see the point in debating about this topic when we are all from a variety of backgrounds and everyone wants different things from their illicit encounter(s).
I might want one ie guy from somewhere within half an hour of travel to meet frequently or I might want 2+ guys from further afield to meet with alternately. There’s loads of variations.

 1 member likes this comment.

1583535 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 09:56PM

If, like me you want to be an old fashioned mistress, then yes, I believe close proximity is important.
I guess it all depends on who wants what? x

 2 members like this comment.

Free Spirit 2802 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 09:16PM

In an ideal world, close but not too close would be the most preferable logistics.

1583208 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 09:08PM

Paula 99,
The doctor will see you now 😁

 1 member likes this comment.

Paula99 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:28PM


Maybe you’re thinking about Carry on Doctor/Matron…😂😂😂

 1 member likes this comment.

chris19389 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:17PM

Yes, finding that local special person seems like the hardest thing. It is a shame - but I get why - people include wrong or useless location information in their summaries. "Home" etc.

 1 member likes this comment.

1583208 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:12PM

Context is everything isn't it? I live in a rural area so has to be at least an hour away. I do travel occasionally for work, and as I'm an affair not hook up guy, freedom of distance enables the holding of hands, eat meals, cinema..all the datey stuff not just playing doctors and nurses 😁

 2 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 06:53PM

The distance brings complications and it didn’t work for me even though it lasted ..but as time moved on it the once a month became one every 2 months before long it became six months etc etc ..family constraints other issues ..work got in the way.. and you have to be realistic about the travel time as it reduces the ‘hotel’ time..

It’s not practical and for those who have experienced it you will understand fully ….like most of the ladies here the ‘work traveller ‘ dosen’t sync with me because the meets won’t be enough ..once every 2 months in Cheshire isn’t good and they forget it’s a large area to cover😂😂😂😂

 5 members like this comment.

1483842 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 06:35PM

It doesn't make me feel like there is a woman in every port. However, so what of there is? I change my location to areas I'm willing to travel to open the pool of talent. Unless you are looking for a exclusive relationship when you are both attached which really doesn't make sense either. We only live once, as long as we keep our beloveds and ourselves safe, whats the issue? If you want to shit on your own door step I'd suggest you relook at what you really want.

 3 members like this comment.

PinkBWC - 21 Mar, 2023 - 06:27PM

Looking for a local partner in Essex/Brentwood , get in touch!!!

1588499 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:32PM

Intoxicate Your Mind - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:14PM

🤣🤣🤣 Gosh! I think that's worse!

 2 members like this comment.

StevenN - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:19PM

Well, I really do not have any issue with distance, I believe love could be found irrespective of whatever

1585013 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:14PM

Needs must … Bahahah ..

Hedone - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:14PM

Quixotic - 21 Mar, 2023 - 02:21PM

Has anybody actually bumped into an IE whilst out and about? I guess as long as your spouse didn't see your initial surprised reaction you could easily play it cool and walk on by, giving a knowing smile of course.

I bumped into his wife, does that count? 😝

 2 members like this comment.

Hedone - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:13PM

I don’t do travellers, I don’t do travelling sales men. When they say they are happy to travel, they’re not!
My personal preference is keep it local ish, up to an hour away. Works for me.

 3 members like this comment.

Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:00PM

I really don’t travel at all. I do admire the people who do though 😊

 3 members like this comment.

Redfirefox - 21 Mar, 2023 - 04:28PM


I don’t have enough time. But the guys I’ve got on with all live bleedin’ miles away. I’m happy to meet half way. And if I’m really liking someone I’ll travel to them. But… the meets wouldn’t be as regular as I’d like. That’s the compromise.
One day I’d love to meet someone closer to home within a half hour drive. To be exclusive. That would be perfect. But until then .. needs must.

 2 members like this comment.

Dotty Green - 21 Mar, 2023 - 04:03PM

Never bumped into an IE ….

As long as we can meet in London on regular basis I’m ok with that👍🏻 working super well at the moment we’re on opposite sides of London. I was at the theatre near where my IE lives / I told him we never crossed paths

Eliza Boo - 21 Mar, 2023 - 03:58PM

However, the 'traveller for work'? Not for me either.

 2 members like this comment.

Eliza Boo - 21 Mar, 2023 - 03:57PM

Distance is a TOTAL ball ache and a pain in the arse...and not even the good type of pain in the arse! What on earth could it be that would possibly make someone travel hours to get to a specific lover, over a convenient one, I wonder ? ? ? ? 😉

If what you want is convenient sex and something fun to fill a gap (pardon the pun) then those are very realistic and adequate expectations that should be able to be met within a 90 minute radius.

If you want the fireworks you might have to open your remit, because it is so rare, and unique to each person. For me I don't think it can be found on my doorstep. I seem to need something other for the 'Attraction Claxton' to sound. 'Convenient' doesnt work as a sexy adjective to me.

 4 members like this comment.

chris19389 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 03:56PM

“Mine” plural redfirefox? How do you have enough time?!

 1 member likes this comment.

Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 03:09PM

I’ve had a thing with a guy who visited my location with work. He was great but he was only here once a month and if I wasn’t free on those specific evenings we couldn’t meet. We were basically very occasional fuck buddies. I don’t think the work travel affairs work personally and would avoid in the future

 2 members like this comment.

Eejit69 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 02:59PM

I have to admit that I’m one of those work travelers and adjust my search accordingly (it’s one region rather than national or global).
The main theme for this is the opportunity rather than a girl in every port (hello sailor!). We have to be realistic about actually meeting and spending time together and unless someone is within a couple of miles the opportunities don’t stand out in my experience. When they do, there are all the complications that have been well pointed out.
As others have said, it doesn’t make me a player (I’ve neither the time or energy for more than one affair!) and it can broaden horizons, and maybe make one put a little extra effort in?
Clearly individual circumstances will apply.

1585013 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 02:37PM

I agree - too close is not great for obvious reasons ..

But as said by an IE member yesterday - it’s more time you can spend together without causing alarm of anyone else is a good thing ..

I do travel for work -so it could be said it’s easier for me .. but would still want a single connection with someone - that has to be explored .. to get truly an understanding of each other and each others needs ..

But an occasional longer distance for reendevous is a nice thing , where you can both enjoy the freedom of not bumping into any estranged relatives or friends - duck and cover isn’t a rewarding experience .. so someone told me once … honest

 1 member likes this comment.

1582894 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 02:27PM

I had a long affair with someone 2 hours away, used to meet in the middle a couple of times a month. It was deliberate to make sure there was zero crossover in our real lives. First couple of years was fine, but after a while it became more and more difficult to see eachother. I wouldn’t do that kind of distance again.

 3 members like this comment.

1588499 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 02:21PM

Has anybody actually bumped into an IE whilst out and about? I guess as long as your spouse didn't see your initial surprised reaction you could easily play it cool and walk on by, giving a knowing smile of course.

lovetogo - 21 Mar, 2023 - 02:04PM

I wouldnt go out of the county,but.i wouldnt want them to close either.

 2 members like this comment.

1588499 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 01:49PM

Good timelines, Ferrari. My last IE was about 1:30 away so it was typically 45 mins each for meets. About 30 minutes seems optimum but not too close. Agree with Rff though, if you like them enough you'll do what it takes!

 1 member likes this comment.

Redfirefox - 21 Mar, 2023 - 01:40PM

Mine are quite a distance away however they may be worth the inconvenience of it. When there’s a will there’s a way.

 4 members like this comment.

1587581 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 01:35PM

It's time for me rather than distance. Living in Kent just outside the M25 I can get to Brighton quicker than I can get 7-8 miles into London.

up to 30 mins ideal
up to 45 min ok
up to 60 mins or more then your at the sliding scale of hotness and avialability.

When I was younger I once flew to America for a girl.....the things we do when we're young eh?

If you click and the availability is right and you can travel then go with it.

 1 member likes this comment.

Amo2021 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 12:47PM

We dont want to be on eachother doorstep, but the closer you are the easier it is to get away, even if for a short time, an gives you more time to spend with eachother rather than travelling miles.

 1 member likes this comment.

ClassyLady77 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 11:48AM

The nearer someone is the better and easier to plan meets.. obviously don’t want to near.. a few miles is more than enough min..

 1 member likes this comment.

Fidges1 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 09:51AM

Yes 30 would be fine or a little more like every one side do want to bump. Into them unless arranged

1588905 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 09:29AM

Only just joined. Think I would want about half an hour drive away. Not close enough to bump into as Acpk55 mentioned, but close enough that it isn't a major hassle to meet up. I guess even better if the other person lived an hour away and you met halfway?

 3 members like this comment.

Johnnylondon - 21 Mar, 2023 - 09:28AM

I would say, as with most things, it depends on the situation and if you're both comfortable. I met with someone last year (irl if you can believe it) that was based in a different country where one of my work offices was based. It suited her because it was some fun and excitement once a month (her words not mine) and suited me for the same reasons. I think as long as you're both open and the expectations are there upfront then either work - also there's a safety with neither of you being on each others doorstep I guess

 2 members like this comment.

1554570 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 09:21AM

You need some amount of distance, as you hardly want to bump into someone you are having an affair with while you are grocery shopping in Tesco with your husband/ wife/ partner

 1 member likes this comment.

chris19389 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 09:17AM

I’ve seen women who also might be looking for a guy in every port, it isn’t exclusively a guy thing of course.

I’m happy if my illicit encounters are safely away from home, either way.

 1 member likes this comment.

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