Ask me out!
I have a massive crush on someone here, but I'm a bit nervous to suggest a date. Been talking for awhile now, non stop! I keep catching myself smiling every time I get a message. I can't work out why he hasn't asked me out yet! What do I do?
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Comments (140)
1565974 - 27 Nov, 2022 - 07:13PM
Just ask him out see he turns up
JonP1974 - 12 Nov, 2022 - 11:01AM
It's the modern world - just ask him. Perhaps he is nervous about asking too. If you don't want to ask directly, then be suggestive about what you'd like to do - I hear Costa are doing their winter coffees.
Pocket Aces - 12 Sep, 2022 - 09:57PM
Given this post is pushing two years old, let’s hope OP has made her move by now….
1 member likes this comment.
LonghairedDom - 12 Sep, 2022 - 09:28PM
He might be nervous about crossing that line.....if he has never done so before, so I think you need to lead on this. This is my first foray back on here after a decade or so....when I met a fantastic affair that lasted a couple of years. It took me a few months to bite the bullet and cross the line. Now, I'm less shy of course...but he may well be anxious. x
1 member likes this comment.
KatieO - 07 Jul, 2022 - 06:07PM
Take the lead and suggest a date if he makes excuses you will start to question who he is or if he’s genuine x
Sana2022 - 16 Jun, 2022 - 07:03PM
Hey there, I think you should ask him out! Don’t let it go, it might be that special SPARK!!!!
EmnEm123 - 16 Jun, 2022 - 04:53PM
I don't know what love island is, seriously.
My contact lenses are hurting. Full stop.
1 member likes this comment.
Paula99 - 16 Jun, 2022 - 02:43PM
Lm..75
Davvide...might look like a Italian God...but he's as dull as dishwater...😬...he sounds like Gino the chef but without a personality...
1382700 - 16 Jun, 2022 - 01:46PM
Lm75
Do you look like a young Michelle Pfeiffer
littleminx75 - 16 Jun, 2022 - 01:12PM
If any men on here look like Davvide from love island please drop me a message o:-)
TheBoredHousewife - 16 Jun, 2022 - 12:27PM
EO
Another bullet dodged
I thought this was an adults only site 😉
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ExoticOrchid - 16 Jun, 2022 - 11:14AM
So someone sent me a message and I replied very polite thanks but no thanks (as I always do) ... his reply was sarcastic and when I answered, found that he had blocked me ... grow up and take rejection like a man for Pedro's sake!!! 🙄
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1287694 - 14 Jun, 2022 - 11:04AM
Ask out as you might miss the chance with regerts later :) plus you are lucky to have such opportunity
1528508 - 13 Jun, 2022 - 05:05PM
Don't be shy, dive in and take the lead. You may not get another chance...
1303634 - 13 Jun, 2022 - 01:17PM
Definitely take the lead. At least that way you will know where you stand and if he isn't happy to meet then knowing early is a good thing x
Paula99 - 11 Jun, 2022 - 06:36PM
This is 2022 ....
Just ask him if he's interested..you don't need to say 'can I take you out'..just drop it in conversation you will soon get the vibes if he's interested and most guys will ask you first...if you say you like a guy that takes control you...don't worry he'll be in like Flynn🤣
1 member likes this comment.
Youandme2 - 10 Jun, 2022 - 09:33PM
Oh god, that's it's like being at school just ask him 🥴 trouble is if he hasn't the gumption to ask you first he sounds rather dubious lol
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1527180 - 10 Jun, 2022 - 07:24PM
Ask him out, im sure it will be a yes. Probabky not wanting to risk rejection.
TheBoredHousewife - 10 Jun, 2022 - 05:56AM
It will be obvious if the man is keen to do a second round. And as P99 said, definitely go with your initial gut feeling.
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Suzanne922 - 09 Jun, 2022 - 10:02PM
Old fashioned maybe but I like the guy to ask me out.
Pretty quickly too!
Within a few days or a week maximum.
3 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 09 Jun, 2022 - 06:33PM
Avalyn73...
If he hasn't text you after your hotel meet then sadly he's only after a ONS....I could be wrong but gut feelings are REAL...
😔
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Avalyn73 - 09 Jun, 2022 - 03:20PM
If you have had a hotel meet I expect a txt same day, to at least confirm they want more. If he doesn't txt after hotel surely he's a no go
1 member likes this comment.
Bowmore21 - 09 Jun, 2022 - 12:37PM
Well would be great to even get to the stage of asking someone to meet ! IAny advice welcome.
1 member likes this comment.
Pedro845 - 08 Jun, 2022 - 08:37PM
The way I see it is that there are 'few' people on here with no intention of meeting anyone...so ask him and as someone else has said we are not teenagers anymore but mature adults with life experience behind us.Then you will know one way or another !
Probably immaterial now anyway as more than likely gone one way or another by now !
3 members like this comment.
1469423 - 08 Jun, 2022 - 08:21PM
What is the point in chatting for days and days..? Ask him out. If he wants to see you, he will be delighted you take the first step. If he doesn't want to see you, time to move on...we are not awkward teenagers anymore :)
1 member likes this comment.
Wake up smiling - 08 Jun, 2022 - 06:46PM
Why not tell him that just reading a message makes you smile and that you feel there's obvious chemistry. Ask if you can meet to see if that chemistry is related to friendship or romance and that you are open to either...agree that whichever way it goes might be OK. NO risk. See if he's labelled you in the friend zone or if he actually wants more...
Rouzer - 08 Jun, 2022 - 06:37PM
The way to see if he is as serious about you as you are about him is to ask him where his ideal date venue is and why he would chose that place. When he replies with the location, you will then know the extent of his interest in you, if the venue is easy for you to get to you then ask him " Do you think that I would feel comfortable at that place?" His reply will probably include asking you to meet. PS He is a bloke so just be aware that he isn't holding back for a reason!
Paula99 - 08 Jun, 2022 - 02:40PM
Go for it....what have you got to loose?
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Dannyboy851 - 08 Jun, 2022 - 01:25PM
Nothing is traditional anymore society has changed so much I would actually like to be asked out for a change the chase is fun
1522940 - 08 Jun, 2022 - 12:41PM
Just get involved......what have you got to lose?!?!?
1527407 - 08 Jun, 2022 - 10:02AM
Ask him out
Lovelaugh1970 - 08 Jun, 2022 - 09:17AM
I would definitely ask I mean why not, it sounds like you have a connection!
Lovelaugh1970 - 08 Jun, 2022 - 09:16AM
Just and observation and maybe its just me, but I always put a lot of thought into the messages I send, but rarely get a reply, so when one does geta reply it is easy to get overexcited!!!!
ExoticOrchid - 30 May, 2022 - 06:27PM
BH764 - 05:50PM
That's exactly what I tend to do too ... some do take it well and say thank you, etc. Some reply as per below! 🙄
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TheBoredHousewife - 30 May, 2022 - 05:50PM
EO
Couple of times, I’ve seen really creative profile names that made my inner self smile. I’ve felt compelled to message and compliment them on it. One man was on the other end of the country. Thankfully he took it well, and we had a few friendly exchanges before parting ways.
Being friendly never hurts, but at the same time, just because a female does engage, doesn’t mean she is immediately has a crush on you 😉
4 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 30 May, 2022 - 02:31PM
As a female here who isn't afraid to make the first move, can I just clarify something ... I like reading random profiles and when it's an interesting or witty [or both] profile, I would mention the part which caught my eye and send a message regarding that WITHOUT any thought of hitting on them.
However, the nature of this site being what it is, the majority immediately assume I am "hitting on them" and reply very pompously, pointing out that I'm outside their age range or location or whatever. The latest case in point being someone who was riding into the sunset whose profile pondered on the difference between "discreet" and "discrete" [many here don't know btw] ... I messaged my understanding of the two words ... he replied, without mentioning the subject that I had missed his location which is more than half a day away, etc, very pompously [probably puffing out his chest and patting his own back that he's irresistible to me ... err nope!].
Just because I messaged you doesn't mean I'm hitting on yo
10 members like this comment.
Epicland123 - 29 May, 2022 - 11:29PM
OK. I am asking you out now. I will meet you in your local Wetherspoons (as it is cheap)
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.
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silverfox532 - 29 May, 2022 - 11:36AM
Just tell him that if he doesn’t want to meet there’s no point in continuing
1519722 - 29 May, 2022 - 11:14AM
Faint heart never won fair lady.
Or man
In the days of equality women should always be prepared to make the first move too.
1357585 - 23 May, 2022 - 11:16PM
He maybe being a little too cautious for fear of going too fast. You may or may not have dropped hints about meeting up but even so some men, I include myself here, are just bloody useless at picking up hints some/most of the time. Ask him out for a coffee date. There is nothing to lose is there?
Good luck.
1 member likes this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 23 May, 2022 - 10:51PM
FC - 09:07PM
If they are from the same region, it's not impossible a name is mentioned, etc during a chat and someone else will recognise the same person.
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FluffyClouds - 23 May, 2022 - 09:07PM
Secret Vixen & Exotic Orchid -
I know it is possible but how would you know who he was chatting to? Could be anyone over a 40 mile radius
Paula99 - 23 May, 2022 - 08:58PM
... I'd like to think I could see through his chat eventually...he's bound to make an error at some point...
🤥
gemzippy - 23 May, 2022 - 07:19PM
So are we going to get an update from the OP as surely things will have moved forward one way or another by now?
1519510 - 23 May, 2022 - 06:50PM
Drop him like a stone, why extended messaging?
5 min coffee meet proves :-
Chemistry,
Physical attraction,
The ability to meet
Actual existence.
Sincerity.
3 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 23 May, 2022 - 06:46PM
FC - 04:54PM
Yes it's possible ... you've just got to think outside the box! 😉
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Hedone - 23 May, 2022 - 06:23PM
Fluffy clouds
Believe it or not some women are able to chat in other ways,so yeah my guess is he is chatting to others, which is fine but it’s the ones who say they aren’t chatting to anyone else and lying about it. Again it all boils down to men and their lack of balls on this site
3 members like this comment.
FluffyClouds - 23 May, 2022 - 04:54PM
Womeninadress -
How do you know he is saying the same to other women? You can't ask other women or chat to them apart from on here.
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TheBoredHousewife - 23 May, 2022 - 04:50PM
@Womeninadress
It’s pretty standard practice that people will say anything just to get someone into bed. It does hurt when we know we’ve been played, but I just tend to take it as personal development now and hopefully not fall for the same trick next time 😊
3 members like this comment.
1523840 - 23 May, 2022 - 04:33PM
Has any of you been getting to know someone and really feel a connection then you find out that the person is chatting to others saying the same
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1523789 - 20 May, 2022 - 09:27PM
Ask him, he might be just shy... go ahead!!
1 member likes this comment.
Stargirl1 - 20 May, 2022 - 08:58PM
Ask him...
Why wait, if he says no or is vague move on.
There are some on here who don't want to meet up
1515202 - 20 May, 2022 - 07:11PM
Just like females who dither, men can dither too.
If he’s keen, he’ll respond positively. If he’s not, messages will be few and far between or non committal.
A 30 min coffee isn’t that difficult to do.
2 members like this comment.
1469423 - 20 May, 2022 - 06:10PM
Isn't it the point to meet up? All the chatting is to see if you have anything in common and weed out possible weirdos. But after 2-3 weeks at most, you should meet each other for a coffee or a drink..we are not here to chat...I hope at least...
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truth and logic - 20 May, 2022 - 05:17PM
He is not that in to you are he does not meet in the real world
Paula99 - 20 May, 2022 - 05:13PM
It looks like we are still not asking the IEs out..
1st November 2020...
No hope..lol
Maria Jones - 20 May, 2022 - 04:58PM
Don't suggest dinner - scary. Do suggest coffee. If he doesn't say yes to that then he's been using 20 year old pictures and isn't what he seems. MJ
2 members like this comment.
Desperated3n - 20 May, 2022 - 04:04PM
If you have been talking on here, and you have common likes and dislikes. Along with being fairly close by, then don’t loose the opportunity to meet up.
Is this your first time affair ? If so, then I can understand what is going through your mind. But if you carry on just talking, it is only going to get harder later on if he finds someone else to talk with.
rarity23 - 20 May, 2022 - 02:57PM
Ladies..... it's 2022, don't be shy, just chat us up and ask us out !!
5 members like this comment.
ZanderPander1 - 20 May, 2022 - 02:16PM
Anyone else noticed that this thread seems to have been initiated in Nov 2020?
If you are both pondering over whether to meet now then the moment has likely passed!
Just saying....
1 member likes this comment.
1490598 - 20 May, 2022 - 11:39AM
Stop playing games and just ask him if you like him, not difficult really.
1 member likes this comment.
1513751 - 20 May, 2022 - 10:35AM
Ask him then
Dream2018 - 20 May, 2022 - 09:38AM
I’m not short or tall I speak two languages and have a average bodey with a little belly go gym and tend to have a drink now and then. What brings me here.! Board I guess need some extra excitement I’m only 42. Wish I was 23 lol Iv met some nice ladies but they were odd is there any one normal on here 😂 xx have a nice day
Hedone - 20 May, 2022 - 09:33AM
If he hasn’t asked you out yet luv, he’s not interested…or he’s keeping you hanging whilst he asks out all the others 😁
5 members like this comment.
1523810 - 20 May, 2022 - 09:28AM
Hi everyone
1346010 - 02 Dec, 2020 - 11:33PM
I’d be bored stiff by now! I’m afraid , even with current restrictions, if you want to meet then it would have been done by now. I would know within the first few days of chatting if it was moving forward.
Just ask for a meet, if he declines then I would move on x
1386735 - 02 Dec, 2020 - 05:33PM
Jeez, just grow a pair and do it!
2 members like this comment.
1401600 - 02 Dec, 2020 - 05:27PM
Ask them
1366319 - 14 Nov, 2020 - 04:14PM
Just go for it! Otherwise you’ll never know
ExoticOrchid - 14 Nov, 2020 - 03:35PM
Doc Feelgood - 14 Nov, 2020 - 03:23PM
Indeed ... SOME of us are!
1 member likes this comment.
1396939 - 14 Nov, 2020 - 03:23PM
@ExoticOrchid
Some of us are honest about our vital statistics.
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Classycougar - 14 Nov, 2020 - 03:18PM
I guess i’ve been luckier than many. Almost all the guys i’ve met have been as expected.....apart from one!
He was at least 20 years older, wearing a baseball cap to cover his combover! Seemed to think the Porsche made up for all of that!!🤣🤣
1 member likes this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 14 Nov, 2020 - 02:27PM
Parisian - 13 Nov, 2020 - 10:59PM
"be prepared that most men are shorter than they put on here"
Yup ... I'm only 5'2" and with medium heels, 5'5" max ... so why am I eye level with men who claim to be taller than that on their profiles???
"add 3 years for age at least"
More like 10+ in some cases!!!
2 members like this comment.
1333643 - 13 Nov, 2020 - 10:59PM
You may not like him once you meet him. Or he may be chatting to lots of other women. Better to just meet sooner . We often build up relationships in our heads and then real life disappoints us. So yes suggest a walk outside and coffee etc. And be prepared that most men are shorter than they put on here and add 3 years for age at least. Good luck!
3 members like this comment.
Rubins - 12 Nov, 2020 - 09:09AM
He may think you another chat only do nothing but then again he may be as well.
The beauty of IE's is honesty, get on with it, coffee date take away even now, if people cannot meet for coffee then what chance forming a friendship?
What do I know?
2 members like this comment.
1420654 - 07 Nov, 2020 - 11:31AM
Ask him!
You have nothing to lose. If you meet great, if you don't then it's his loss.
1420270 - 04 Nov, 2020 - 06:39PM
Take the bull by the horns and take the plunge..... remember you are a long time dead
1 member likes this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 04 Nov, 2020 - 05:34PM
GoofyLE - 04 Nov, 2020 - 03:00PM
"Is it me?"
Depends if you've been "talking for awhile now, non stop!" with a lady here and you still haven't asked her out???
1 member likes this comment.
1417573 - 04 Nov, 2020 - 08:31AM
I would just go for it!
aalexandra - 03 Nov, 2020 - 09:50PM
Are you not on here to ask someone out? I thought that was the whole point in being on here 😂 Just got for it! If you've been talking non stop, I'm surprised it's not already cropped up...
ClassyLady77 - 03 Nov, 2020 - 06:41PM
I like the man to take the lead too but sometimes if you really like someone then just go for it..
nothing ventured nothing gained.
But be careful not to get to emotionally involved he maybe just a player....
2 members like this comment.
Rubins - 03 Nov, 2020 - 05:00PM
Just ask him why he hasn't asked you out yet, he may have a good reason, unlikely!
2 members like this comment.
1365082 - 03 Nov, 2020 - 01:59PM
Can you let us know if you’ve done it .... and his reaction...
1 member likes this comment.
1389672 - 03 Nov, 2020 - 11:12AM
Sportster1200L... depends if you want a real man or not 😈
Nothing wrong with a woman asking a guy out at all, but this is a situation where the guy obviously hasn’t had the guts to take things to the next level.
Alpha / Beta... it’s up to you...
1 member likes this comment.
1117169 - 03 Nov, 2020 - 09:37AM
@cornforthwhite
I thought the world had come to a point when is quite ok for a woman to ask a man out actually.
3 members like this comment.
1389672 - 03 Nov, 2020 - 01:07AM
If the dude isn’t man enough to ask you out then find someone who will.
(What has the world come to?🙄)
1353301 - 02 Nov, 2020 - 07:52AM
That's thing when chatting to someone on here or online you build up an image and a affair with someone you haven't even met , best to meet up early , and not be disappointed
8 members like this comment.
JayKay120 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 11:27PM
Just ask him out. If he's nervous, taking control may just be another thing he finds attractive about you.
1 member likes this comment.
musexkanter - 01 Nov, 2020 - 10:44PM
I'm straight male: It's a hardship to find a direction online. As a comparison, a live smile accompanied with a sparkling eye contact or unconscious play with your hair is a perfect cue for a man to invite a lady to a date; these never experienced online but yet you have other means. If you are a straight female, don't waste your time with that man. Especially if you've exchanged photos and interests and he's not yet stepping forward, he won't satisfy you later even if you endeavor soon. While married are filling this encounter, they're looking for fun so they're less greedy and few taste of love. That means decisions happen faster than other venues.
Trwela - 01 Nov, 2020 - 10:15PM
Don't procrastinate and ask him. He is either nervous or is not ready. In either case you need to find out.
1 member likes this comment.
1205622 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 09:37PM
You definitely need to ask! Especially if you’re talking to each other. There must be some connection 😉
nasr27 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 08:33PM
Don’t over think it, life’s too short for that.
Go for it! Times ticking
2 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 01 Nov, 2020 - 05:58PM
Butterfly600
Here we go ... 🙄🙄🙄
Haha 👍
1 member likes this comment.
1117169 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 04:50PM
Ask him out of course. He will probably be delighted. He may not say yes of course ( Men have to face that prospect all the time) or indeed may not be able to meet you even if he wants too the way things are at the moment.
It could be that he just enjoys chatting. I don't see the point of that, particularly given what full membership for men requires.
1 member likes this comment.
Perfect moments - 01 Nov, 2020 - 04:29PM
You should ask him if he is up for meeting you or if your wasting your time.
Personally I wouldn't meet anyone at this moment in time. It's just too risky, plus full lockdown again from thursday.
1 member likes this comment.
1266637 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 03:58PM
Exotic orchid , I like hearing others points and opinions Iv even read some and thought yep your right there , and thought differently and changed mine , then we get some batty posts and I think what still can’t find eyeroll emoji
2 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 01 Nov, 2020 - 03:29PM
Butterfly600 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 03:13PM
No kidding ... not on my phone now so I can't use them at the moment!
1 member likes this comment.
1266637 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 03:13PM
There’s a few emojis , I could do with on some of these threads 🎃. exotic orchid
2 members like this comment.
1363194 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 02:50PM
Is this actually a real question or a joke?
3 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 01 Nov, 2020 - 02:44PM
Butterfly600 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 02:40PM
I know, right!
[where's that eye roll emoji]
1266637 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 02:40PM
Thanks exotic orchid , I was beginning to wonder 😁
2 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 01 Nov, 2020 - 02:35PM
Butterfly600 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 01:06PM
"Are we 12 again"
Haha indeed ... we are also in 2020 and on an adultery site ... OP hello???
3 members like this comment.
1266637 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 01:06PM
Are we 12 again
2 members like this comment.
phillyd - 01 Nov, 2020 - 10:42AM
It is 2020, you can ask him. The only thing might be is does he want to meet? Or are you one of a number he is chatting too!
2 members like this comment.
1352755 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 09:56AM
Ask him now!!!
You have 3 days until we all shut down
So do it!!
Please report back to us all too 😛
1386735 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 09:52AM
Oh come on really?! Get a grip woman!
509129 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 09:43AM
Ok I will ask you out 😁😁
1393321 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 08:55AM
Hmmmm 4 days til lockdown....
Could mention the inviting window of opportunity available right now and how nice it would be to go on a first date before being stuck at home again for a month.
1 member likes this comment.
1414462 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 08:53AM
I would jump in there you only live once enjoy good luck.
1418525 - 01 Nov, 2020 - 08:25AM
So ask him! It's 2020 girl. Make the first move then you will know?
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