Comments (60)

tmn2024 - 03 May, 2025 - 12:03PM

@Enigma..

Thank you, I always enjoy reading your posts. I'm not in the London area, I'm not even in the UK, and the pool of available like minded people here is tiny. So tiny in fact that I believe I've been able to review literally all of them and nothing has gone forward. I like bantering on these forums, and my membership is paid up for another few weeks so I'll stay for the chatter as long as I'm able!

tmn2024 - 03 May, 2025 - 11:47AM

Wow. From reading some of the posts on this thread, I've made an enlightening realisation:

I am a man whose wife would seek out an affair.

This realisation changes one or two things for me. I'll be letting that sink in for a while I think.....nothing like a moment of dawning to catch you off guard on Saturday morning!

Enigma.. - 03 May, 2025 - 11:41AM

@tmn2024

Thanks for the honest feedback…
Unfortunately I’ve met males from the site who have “obviously” lied (not a dig at you) about several things.

Imagine walking into a date and getting an allergic reaction… because he lied about smoking!!!

Imagine walking into a date and not recognising the male in front of you (at first)… because he lied about his age.

Need I go on…

It’s difficult enough to make a genuine connection (outwith the London area’s) as it is…

But… it’s time that some members on this site woke up and started to behave in an a more appropriate way!!

 4 members like this comment.

DiscreetJake - 03 May, 2025 - 11:18AM

Outside of IE I'm successful, looked up to and often feted so I'm lucky that my ego and confidence is continually replenished because for a man with a low self confidence this site can be a real minefield.

Confidence is not :-
'they will like me'
Confidence is :-
'Ill be fine if they dont'

To three things you mustn't do on this site is be fat, be short and be any race other than Caucasian.

 2 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 03 May, 2025 - 10:22AM

Moaning and whining about how this works isn’t going to get you anywhere …it just makes you look self important…
IE is a cross section of the population and thankgod we are not all the same …but it’s not going to change in the near future…its up to you to take responsibility and be the best you can be …if the OP doesn’t like you …it’s their loss…..you have your REAL friends and your home life …this is just an added extra ….try not to let it get to you 😊

 2 members like this comment.

tmn2024 - 03 May, 2025 - 10:07AM

Enigma:

Thanks for your obviously well thought out post, but I believe I'd take issue with your statement about lies being exposed.

I've been very careful in my profile to under state myself if anything. My logic is if I can engage someone when I've graded myself a 4 or a 5, then it can only get better if when they meet me I turn out to be a 5 or a 6. So lies being exposed? Not always, and in fact lies can be exposed in a positive way too.

I'd hate to thing that the norm on here was for people to over state themselves on their profile. If I ever get to the stage of actually finding out for myself, I'll let you know!

tmn2024 - 03 May, 2025 - 10:03AM

boav91:

Very insightful and I'd agree with you. I would also say that at least you've been granted the courtesy of a reason for your rejections, unlike some of us who repeatedly get ghosted, blanked and blocked in the midst of what seems to be a well flowing getting to know you phase, even before the exchange of photos. I'd be fibbing if I said I understood why it keeps happening, but it can only be grounded in judgement somewhere.

Actually I've just recalled one great example of where I've been judged. Some weeks back, I was exchanging on IE with someone for maybe a week. Great conversation, I thought we were both quite interested, never ran out of things to chat about. Then one day, seemingly in the flow of conversation, she asked me what car I drive. I told her what it is, and that was the last I ever heard of her. I got the usual ghosting and blocking etc. Now if that isn't judgement I don't know what is. On the flip side, better the mask slip now rather than further down the road.

Enigma.. - 03 May, 2025 - 09:51AM

Wow…
This thread has certainly opened up a can of worms…

I’m actually laughing out loud again… well I did for about 30 seconds and then…

I’m going to make a statement of fact…

Yes… we all have our preferences and should be able to state them freely and without judgement.

But let’s face it… most members on this site, both male and female, are judgemental.

That’s the problem with these all these dating apps.
Judging people on looks alone… their size, height, age etc…

Having great expectations… then lies are exposed… crash and burn.

It’s time to wake up and start being transparent… Ie (excuse the pun) stop chasing a fantasy that will not come true.

Unless you are realistic you’ll get nowhere on this site.

And so ends the sermon for today… 😉.

Love from a plain speaking Scottish female 😉❤️💋🍀

 3 members like this comment.

boav91 - 03 May, 2025 - 08:15AM

The one things I have been judged on and rejected as a reason on this site more than anything else are height and background. Neither of those I have control over. Everything I am and achieved has nothing to do with those things but it is the first call for so many on here. That is my experince at least.

I have had people say I am ok looking or can be funny but the above things are the reason for rejection

The reality is if you want a quick NSA meet looks are primary, but if you want longer term you need to look beyond just basics of things people cannot do anything about.

Dad bods you can work on, fitness you can improve, although let’s be realistic 40+ years of life does take its toll and it gets harder to maintain that Adonis look.

We all in reality have a “type” we prefer but there is something about you don’t know in some ways if you don’t try. Sometimes that which you least expect is what is the most exciting.

Fortunately there are also people who did not mind these things

 2 members like this comment.

VagaVaga - 02 May, 2025 - 10:36PM

Height might be an important asset if you're intending to have a career in basketball but it's not advantageous if you're doing gymnastics. Bottom line: People have different tastes, and what matters to one person might be irrelevant to another.: Emotional connection, trust, and understanding often outweigh physical specifics.

 2 members like this comment.