Comments (46)

Doubleohseven - 03 May, 2025 - 01:05PM

[cont] On IE, we struggle with the same conflict between the noble image of ourselves we hold and cherish, and our real self. Surely women should not care about height! Surely men should not care about dress size! Shouldn't it all be about connection, personality, inner beauty, etc? We claim so. But it isn't.

If your inner self is beautiful, but your outer self is shabby, uncared, etc - tough luck. St Peter will welcome you into Heaven one day, but your dating life on earth will be Hell.

Men, listen up: [on average] women care about your height. Shocker!
Women, listen up: [on average] men care about your width. Shocker!

Advice for men: don't whine if you are asked about your height
Advice for women: don't whine if you are asked about your dress size. The guy is being considerate enough not to ask you about your waist circumference, in cm [which is what you routinely do with men's height]
Good news for men with personality, humour etc: demand / supply balance is actually in your favour. Use it.

Doubleohseven - 03 May, 2025 - 12:47PM

IE is a subset of our world. And, as we live in the most unbelievably hypocritical society in human history (oh yes, more so than the Victorians), it's not surprising that hypocrisy trickles down in our debates here.

If you disagree with this societal premise, consider the OP statement: "We all have our preferences and should be able to state them freely, without judgement".
I believe that most liberal people would say "Yes! As long as your preferences don't hurt anyone etc etc, you should be able to state them without judgment "

But what if you - hypothetically - told the same people the following:
"...oh, and I like Korean women because they seem so naturally submissive" Then the supposedly non-judging crowd would promptly add "...well then you are a male chauvinist"
"...oh, and I don't happen to find most black women attractive" "...well then you are a chauvinist bigot"
"...oh, and as a man in my 50s I find girls of 25 attractive" "...well then you are a creep too"
[cont]

Enigma.. - 03 May, 2025 - 12:45PM

@Peaches1

There’s a male member up here in Scotland who has been 50 for a few years 🤣😂.

I’m so tempted to send him a message…

Please tell me…
Have you borrowed Dr WHO’s Tardis??
Or perhaps discovered The fountain of Youth??
Or perhaps developed the ability to Time Travel… no 😉🤔🤷🏼‍♀️

Well please how you are still 50 five years later 😏.
And still have the same photo on your profile?? 🙄🤔🤣

 1 member likes this comment.

Peaches1 - 03 May, 2025 - 12:31PM

Enigma

The good old age lie eh!

I was chatting to someone last week who was 50, he's 45 on his profile this week! Give it a month and he'll probably drop another 10yrs off. Better than botox this site for youthfulness 😂

smartypants12345 - 03 May, 2025 - 12:27PM

We know what we like in a person we find attractive. Shouldn’t be ashamed or over- polite to say, ‘Thanks, but you’re not my type’.
I’d rather have, ‘ sorry, but you’re too sexy for me’ than ghosting or lies like ‘ you’re top of my list’.

Failing that, give me a mean bitch ex circus dwarf with bunny boiling tendencies.

Enigma.. - 03 May, 2025 - 12:25PM

@tmn2024

Like I said before it wasn’t a dig at you.

Unfortunately where you live, especially in you do not live in or around the London area, is having an impact on both males and females on the site.

But it doesn’t help any member “anywhere” if they lie about their martial status, location, age etc….

Time to step up folks… Get real…

I’m not moaning or complaining just stating a few facts that should have been stated years ago when this site actually worked…

So if you want to act the big arrogant I am… be prepared to be blocked, ghosted etc…

And that goes for both male and female members… 👋🏻

(Ps… is dropping the mic still a thing?) 😉🤣

 1 member likes this comment.

tmn2024 - 03 May, 2025 - 12:03PM

@Enigma..

Thank you, I always enjoy reading your posts. I'm not in the London area, I'm not even in the UK, and the pool of available like minded people here is tiny. So tiny in fact that I believe I've been able to review literally all of them and nothing has gone forward. I like bantering on these forums, and my membership is paid up for another few weeks so I'll stay for the chatter as long as I'm able!

tmn2024 - 03 May, 2025 - 11:47AM

Wow. From reading some of the posts on this thread, I've made an enlightening realisation:

I am a man whose wife would seek out an affair.

This realisation changes one or two things for me. I'll be letting that sink in for a while I think.....nothing like a moment of dawning to catch you off guard on Saturday morning!

Enigma.. - 03 May, 2025 - 11:41AM

@tmn2024

Thanks for the honest feedback…
Unfortunately I’ve met males from the site who have “obviously” lied (not a dig at you) about several things.

Imagine walking into a date and getting an allergic reaction… because he lied about smoking!!!

Imagine walking into a date and not recognising the male in front of you (at first)… because he lied about his age.

Need I go on…

It’s difficult enough to make a genuine connection (outwith the London area’s) as it is…

But… it’s time that some members on this site woke up and started to behave in an a more appropriate way!!

 3 members like this comment.

DiscreetJake - 03 May, 2025 - 11:18AM

Outside of IE I'm successful, looked up to and often feted so I'm lucky that my ego and confidence is continually replenished because for a man with a low self confidence this site can be a real minefield.

Confidence is not :-
'they will like me'
Confidence is :-
'Ill be fine if they dont'

To three things you mustn't do on this site is be fat, be short and be any race other than Caucasian.

 2 members like this comment.