Comments (61)

Steelblueyes77 - 07 May, 2024 - 08:36AM

That's so bad. This is not a confessor or a Samaritans site.. It is unreasonable rude and unwanted for someone to dump their problems on anyone else. The idea is to seek a kindred spirit and enjoyed the best things in life not to dump your problems on anyone else .

 3 members like this comment.

Gunther73 - 07 May, 2024 - 08:34AM

There is clearly a range of acceptable “dumping”, isn’t there?
Some people are happy to have a “second wife” level of dumping, and some people are after a fairy-tale level. I think both of these are correct levels- as long as both people’s expectations are being met, and communicated in advance.

I am a very open person and like to talk- but as I am very positive by nature and not a Whinger I rarely dump. Though Tbf that’s the same at home for me.

It is important that there is a degree of respect for the spouses- it isn’t fair on anyone to be whinging about your spouse all the time. Similar if your job is shit, do something about it. Whingeing to your IE isn’t going to make your job better. If your kids are off the rails, learn and do some parenting. If you haven’t got enough money, improve your prospects.

Now I’ve given you all the answers, you haven’t got an excuse for dumping anymore. Listeners: print this on a yellow card! 🤣

 2 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 06 May, 2024 - 10:21PM

HH76 - 08:32PM

To a certain extent, you are correct.

However, you've got to remember many are here to forget their "real" lives for a while and have a little "me time" and therefore they don't want to be reminded of the mundane stuff.

Granted if the liaison becomes a longer term one, then certain confidences are bound to be exchanged and *both* parties would want to share their innermost thoughts/worries to a certain degree.

All depends on individuals and the kind of relationship they have.

 6 members like this comment.

HenryH76 - 06 May, 2024 - 08:32PM

Not sure I agree. If you can’t be there to listen to it all, the good and the not so good then you’re just there for the good times and life’s not like that. Get to know someone fully and openly can lead to great times together. Only my view and not for everyone.

 4 members like this comment.

Gunther73 - 06 May, 2024 - 06:02PM

People who think the world would collapsed are probably miserable because their expectations don’t match up with their (lack of) perspective🤣

No one is irreplaceable.

Communication is a two way process. Unilateral venting should be reserved for the therapy chair. If someone’s daily chat is just whinging then that’s not really on from them. On the other hand it would be nice for an IE to be a confidant to share some of the life difficulties only you two can talk about.

 5 members like this comment.

Pink Eiga - 06 May, 2024 - 10:48AM

Paula99 - 06 May, 2024 - 06:56AM

That sounds very familiar. And then when they’re taking a break, and you maybe try sneaking in a tiny bit of your stash of things to offload (because let’s face it, we all have issues), you’re met with silence or a mere monosyllable.

When comms is a one way street … 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

 6 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 06 May, 2024 - 06:56AM

Agree with Pink Eiga…

It’s important to beable to communicate…..having a good/ bad day at work and understanding each others ‘difficulties’ in the work/life balance..I am all for that but when you have some guy droning on about his profession and how the place wouldn’t survive without him…his wife won’t have sex with him..plays 10 different types of sports/hobbies and has God knows what else is going on in his head…🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


Makes a mental note ….LESS IS MORE

 4 members like this comment.

Pink Eiga - 05 May, 2024 - 11:52PM

It is whether the venting is only from one party or are both individuals equally encouraging of each other’s offloads.

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TJJ89_fun - 05 May, 2024 - 11:30PM

I may be different to everybody else but I honestly wouldn’t mind that at all. A great IE should be an escape from the boring normal everyday life and if she wants to vent to me for a while, then I say go for it! Xx

 4 members like this comment.

ToRunWithWolves - 05 May, 2024 - 11:20PM

All emotion is energy in motion and fuel for alchemical fires including sexual kung-fu/chi life force.

Unfortunately, unless you're parked at the foot of a mystical monk figure, alchemising emotion is not readily taught.

On that note, dumping emotional baggage, is a turn off in the 'wrong' company. Discernment is key. A 'trusted' support network outside of ie, highly beneficial.