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When do you know……?

It is so difficult reading between the lines of text messages. Ladies, how do we guys know you are interested, or just being friendly? What vibes should we be looking out for, and what kind of responses strike a balance between being keen back but not disrespectful?

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Comments (217)

stellasteve - 05 Jun, 2023 - 02:45PM

When she meets me, gets under the table and does a good job. She is a winner in my book.

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FluffyClouds - 05 Jun, 2023 - 02:44PM

Skatie -

If I was sitting in a bar and a man walked in. Firstly, I would be able to see his entire body, his walk, his clothing style, his body language, his height, his build, his mannerisms, what his companions were like. You don't get that from a pic.

Face to face conversation, I'd hear his voice. Closer proximity I can see his teeth, smell his breath and body odour. If we connect, then we chat more. People are different in conversation face to face, and I've found, better than messaging.

There is a difference between online dating and face to face. Mostly, the crucial parts.

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1238907 - 03 Jun, 2023 - 11:18PM

So, personally, and I have been asked many times about the rudiments of online dating, and the way I approach it is,
1. If I was sitting in a bar and a man walked in, and we caught each other’s eye, then that is the same as a photo.
2. I or he, goes up to the bar to get a drink, and we have a little conversation = texts.
3. If we connect, we continue the conversation (as this allows us more time to see whether what we hear is what we like = more texts.
4. We exchange phone numbers = the same as online.
5. We arrange a first date = the same as online.

So, my fellows IEers, just be honest about who you are and what you want;; be open to learn more about one another and just trust that not everyone is an idiot!

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1595489 - 03 Jun, 2023 - 08:39PM

I ask for their PW first and almost immediately. If I was to meet someone in a bar then the attraction is physical an then the psychological connection comes after.. I started on here not asking for pics first and building up a textual relationship then when we met there was zero chemistry (or in a couple of cases, deceit...) so now I will ask for the pw first and if I'm not attracted I go straight back with a 'Thank you, though not for me, I'm sorry! Happy hunting! x' and it has 100% of the time been received gratefully. x

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1582640 - 03 Jun, 2023 - 11:51AM

mr rocket

Looks come first but then personality and flow take prominence.

I’m excluded from many profiles as they demand a full head of hair as an absolute red line.
They could be dismissing the love of their life over some hair.

Seems bizzare, I wouldn’t dismiss a woman for something so petty

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1582640 - 03 Jun, 2023 - 11:47AM

Katy its hard for guys to meet womens expectations. One minute I’m reading profiles asserting the fundamental importance of physical looks and up-front passwords, then the next saying they want to build a connection prior to photos.
Many dont state a pw protocol so we have to assume some will want the up-front pw

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Enigma.. - 02 Jun, 2023 - 04:40PM

Anyone who sends me a first message of “What’s your photo password” gets ignored.
I even have in my profile what will happen if you send “that message”.
And yet that message still get’s sent 🙄.

I admit that I have to be stimulated by engaging and intelligent messaging and conversations or I get bored and move on.

Nothing worse than one word replies, text speak, lot’s of emoji’s and boring predictable questions.

Personally I think a lot can be deduced by first messages…

As for exchanging passwords…

Some males on here need to learn manners…

Stop the “You look like my ex wife, my sister etc”… 😴🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m sure every woman on the site has read that line a hundred times before.
Stop the ghosting. If the lady is not to your taste simply say so in a polite manner.
Stop the “You look nice”…. This usually means that he is not interested but will keep chatting in the hope someone else comes along.

I could go on but you all get the gis

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1599039 - 01 Jun, 2023 - 10:13PM

Re the password/pic thing
I much prefer not to do that, and instead engage on a mental connection basis.
I want to be able to talk to that guy outside of the bedroom as well as in it
I actively refuse guys offers of their passwords as while I know physical attraction is important, I want that mental connection too xx

Paula99 - 01 Jun, 2023 - 07:59PM

Rocket man ….

Intelligence always wins for me but it’s nice to have someone that takes your eye…you don’t need to be tall just be able to have a conversation about most things and are willing to make an effort 😊

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1602253 - 01 Jun, 2023 - 07:20PM

I'm new here. Any tips for a newbie lady? x

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