* More than a third of people now trust AI with personal secrets over their own partner, with many saying it feels less judgemental and emotionally safer.
* Brits are confiding in AI about relationship doubts, sexual fantasies, thoughts of cheating and even past affairs – conversations they avoid having at home.
* Experts warn that while AI offers a consequence‑free space to open up, relying on it instead of honest communication could deepen cracks in real‑world relationships.
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.
Brits are now more likely to confide in artificial intelligence than the person they share a bed with. And, it seems the biggest threat to communication in relationships might not be another person – but a robot.
A new poll of 1,800 members of IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, has revealed that more than a third (38%) would rather share a personal secret with AI than open up to their partner.
In fact, 27% admit they’ve already told an AI chatbot something deeply personal that they have never confessed to their other half.
And it’s not just convenience driving the trend. One in five (21%) say they feel “less judged” by AI than they do by their partner – suggesting that for some, a machine feels safer than a marriage.
So what exactly are people telling these bots? The most common confession involves relationship doubts, with 44% admitting they’ve turned to AI to vent about concerns regarding their partner instead of addressing the issue directly at home.
More than a third (36%) say they’ve used AI to discuss their sexual fantasies – conversations they felt uncomfortable initiating with their partner.
Meanwhile, 31% have confided in AI about thoughts of cheating, and 22% say they’ve opened up about regrets over past affairs rather than revisiting those conversations with the person they’re with.
One married mother-of-two from Surrey, who asked to remain anonymous, says she turned to AI after struggling to open up to her husband of 15 years. “I love my husband, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him I’d been having doubts about our future. Every time I tried, I’d see his face fall and I’d bottle it. So I typed it into ChatGPT instead. It felt ridiculous at first – pouring my heart out to a robot. But it didn’t interrupt, didn’t get defensive, didn’t look hurt. It just… listened. I know it’s not real, but it was just good to talk about my feelings openly.”
Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert at IllicitEncounters.com, says the results reflect a growing emotional shift. “AI doesn’t roll its eyes, raise its voice or bring up something you said three years ago,” she said. “For many people, that makes it feel like a safer space to explore uncomfortable thoughts.”
She believes the appeal lies in the absence of consequence. “When you confess something to your partner, it can change the dynamic of the relationship. There are emotional repercussions. With AI, there’s no fallout. No hurt feelings. No awkward silence.”
But Leoni warns that relying on technology instead of communication could deepen existing cracks. “Using AI as a sounding board isn’t necessarily harmful,” she explained. “In fact, it can sometimes help people organise their thoughts. The problem comes when it replaces honest dialogue rather than preparing you for it.”
She adds that the types of secrets people are sharing are particularly telling. “Relationship doubts, sexual fantasies, thoughts about cheating – these are exactly the conversations that could save a relationship if handled well. But people are too scared to have them. They’d rather test the waters with a robot than risk real vulnerability with a human. And that’s a tragedy.”
Results
What have you confided in AI about rather than speaking with your partner?
Relationship doubts – 44%
Sexual fantasies – 36%
Thoughts about cheating – 31%
Regrets about past affairs – 22%
General relationship advice – 20%
Other – 8%
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