* 1 in 3 admit lavish presents are used to “throw spouses off the scent” of their infidelity.
* Cheaters spend up to 38% more on Christmas gifts once an affair begins.
* Experts warn expensive gifts can be a form of festive gaslighting.
* Study conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site.
Christmas is supposed to be the season of giving – but new research suggests that some gifts may come with strings attached. A poll involving 2,600 members of IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site, has revealed that lavish presents are often less about generosity and more about guilt.
According to the survey, people who are having an affair spend up to 38% more on their spouse’s Christmas gift compared to before their infidelity. And while guilt plays a role, the motivation is often more calculated.
One in three admitted that a key reason for splashing out was to “throw spouses off the scent” – making suspicion seem unreasonable. As one respondent put it: “Why would someone who bought you a £2,000 necklace be cheating?”
This tactic, experts say, amounts to a form of gaslighting. By showering their spouse with extravagant gifts, cheaters create a narrative of devotion that makes any doubts feel irrational.
This strategy is particularly common at Christmas, when generosity is expected and big-ticket presents can be framed as festive indulgence rather than suspicious overcompensation. In fact, 41% of those who cheated said Christmas was the easiest time of year to disguise guilt spending as romance or tradition.
The survey also revealed the most popular “cover‑up” gifts chosen by cheating spouses this Christmas. For men, the top five presents being given to wives are jewellery (32%), designer handbags (24%), perfume (19%), spa vouchers (15%) and weekend getaways (12%).
Women, meanwhile, are favouring splashing out on watches (28%), high‑end tech gifts (22%), expensive clothing (18%), aftershave (14%) and concert tickets (11%).
IllicitEncounters.com’s sex and relationships expert, Jessica Leoni, says the findings reveal a darker side to festive generosity. “Lavish Christmas gifts can be a form of emotional misdirection,” she explains. “For some cheaters, it’s not just about easing guilt – it’s about control. An expensive present creates a psychological shield, making the faithful partner doubt their own instincts and feel unreasonable for questioning suspicious behaviour.”
Leoni adds that Christmas is the perfect backdrop for this tactic. “The festive period comes with huge expectations around romance, gratitude and ‘making an effort’. A big, show-stopping gift ticks all the boxes of what a ‘good partner’ should do at Christmas, even if their behaviour the rest of the year tells a very different story. If something feels off, it’s worth remembering that price tags don’t equal honesty.”
Results
Top 5 “cover-up” gifts from men to women
Jewellery (32%)
Designer handbags (24%)
Perfume (19%)
Spa vouchers (15%)
Weekend getaways (12%)
Top 5 “cover-up” gifts from women to men
Watches (28%)
High‑end tech (22%)
Designer clothing (18%)
Aftershave (14%)
Concert tickets (11%)
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