* 86% of people are keeping their sexual fantasies a secret from their partner
* BDSM tops kinky list of secret sexual fantasies people aren’t willing to disclose to their other half
* Poll conducted by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extramarital dating site
According to a new survey by the married dating site IllicitEncounters.com an alarming number of people are keeping schtum about their sexual desires, suggesting it could be fuelling an increase in infidelity as they fill their void elsewhere.
The website polled 2,500 of its members asking if they have sexual fantasies they haven’t revealed to their partner. The results showed a staggering 86% of people are keeping their sexual kinks under lock and key, unwilling to share their deepest desires.
Those who admitted to keeping sexual secrets were then asked to reveal what needs aren’t being met at home. BDSM dominated the list of secret sexual fantasies, tying up the competition and taking first place with 62% of the vote.
Half of members polled secretly fantasise about role play, suggesting that slipping into seductive characters and exploring taboo scenarios is too risqué to discuss with partners.
Fittingly in third place, threesomes are high on the list of secret sexual fantasies (47%). The allure of a steamy trio clearly captures the minds of many but few would reveal this to their other half.
A member of the married dating site, Jeff, said, “There’s so much I’d like to explore sexually with my wife but she’s really reserved. In fact, I don’t think we’ve ever really spoken about sex, let alone sexual fantasies. I know it’s something that’d make her feel uncomfortable, so I’d rather avoid rocking the boat.
Instead, I’ve decided to seek excitement and fulfilment elsewhere. I wouldn’t say it’s about being a cheater, I just want to fulfil my wilder desires and experience the adventure I’m missing at home before it’s too late.”
Carolina, another member of the website, said, “I’ve always struggled with opening up to my husband, so I just keep my sexual fantasies to myself, maybe because of fear he’ll judge me, or worse, laugh at me.
I suppose I’d always hoped he’d magically understand what I crave, which is why I’m now having my needs met outside of my marriage. Finding someone who I can be 100% honest with sexually has been so liberating – I just wish I’d found the site sooner!”
Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert for IllicitEncounters.com commented, “Not everyone feels comfortable sharing their sexual fantasies, and that’s perfectly fine! Sometimes the fear of judgement or rejection is just too much to handle, and it’s difficult to fully suppress those kinky desires, so needing to find a way of meeting those fantasies elsewhere isn’t surprising.
However, the number of people who don’t feel comfortable enough to share those sexual fantasies with their partner is actually quite alarming, because having open communication about something like that can have a huge impact on intimacy within a relationship. Sharing your desires can create more opportunities for exploration, understanding and potentially discovering new shared interests.”
Results
Do you have sexual fantasies you haven’t revealed to your partner?
Yes 86%
No 14%
Which sexual fantasies are you hiding from your partner?
BDSM 62%
Role play 50%
Threesomes 43%
Filming yourself having sex 27%
Swinging 22%
Crossdressing 13%
Other 8%
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