Life2

About Me:

7 important things

1. Romance
2. Seasides, river banks, isolated cottages, birdsong, discovering paths, wind through the trees, the moonlight over frosted fields, drinks in the rays of a setting sun, drinks with a relaxing hot bath...
3. Respect, understanding, humour, friendship and kindness
4. Music of many types, except when it is played too loudly in restaurants etc and is intended for young people with silly hair and no taste
5. Understanding of our limitations as lovers
6. Thinking of someone and wanting to be with them
7. Children ( existing ones not new ones ) 7 things about me

1. Hate smoking, moderate drinker ( hate swirling carpet syndrome )
2.Attentive, good company, keen to learn and talk about almost anything
3. Fairly Fit, active and not overweight ...5' 10"...size10 shoes
4. Enjoy debate and lively conversation
5. Keen to travel to nice places in the UK and elsewhere
6. Not happy in my marriage but I won't moan about it
7. Enjoy my work but have time to spare, ideally, for a long term friendship / relationship

Don't hesitate to ask for more about me. Happy to send you my picture ( does not contain nuts or anything distasteful )

Life1

I guess it was inevitable. After four tours of duty in the Gulf and long periods out of radio contact. She left me for a fancy lawyer. A guy called Guy, with a limp and a lisp, who spent his time giving advice about corporate tax evasion. Turns out Guy was gay, and after a few weeks he left her for a funeral director from Bury. She's out of my life now and the last I heard she was modelling cycle helmets for Halfords.
I suppose I've been lucky in lots of ways. During my last firefight I despatched seven rebels before I took one in my thigh..a couple of inches to the right and I would be speaking with a high pitched voice, passing water through a tube, and be no use to any woman. I lost four pints of blood, and my hopes of reperesenting England in the Triathlon. I was the last to be picked up by the 'copter. I spent two months in hospital. The Emir decorated me and my crew with the Star of Mohammed, but three months later I was dishonourably discharged from Special Forces after a torrid night in Dubai with his wife's sister, the sultry Sheradaze.
The next three years I spent fending off pirates on bulk carriers in the Indian Ocean. It was a lonely existence, but I became an expert at Sudoko, learned to swear in Serbian, and play Vivaldi's Four Seasons on my ukulele ( Autumn is particularly tricky )
I don't know how many poor devils I dispatched into the murky depths. I felt sorry for them. They were a bit like me, just ordinary guys searching for a Sky Sports subscription and a better life.
With my savings I bought a vineyard in Tuscany. For a couple of years it went well, and the stunning, dark haired beauty Francesca, who owned the nearby villa, was a great comfort after long hours at the wine press. When I found out she was a gumar for the local Mafia boss I had to decide whether to tool up and take on the Cosa Nostra, or sell up.
About that time my grapes were succumbing to Leafdroop and the dreaded vine weasel, so it was with sadness that I chose to leave Italy.
My next stop was Monaco. I lost all my savings on the roulette table. Fortunately, I met a Russian who was big in Aluminium. I became his bodyguard and built his security team. He introduced me to Putin. He is a cool, little guy with intense, beady eyes. Apparently he is a big Gloria Gaynor fan, is an avid watcher of Coronation St., has an orphan cat with three legs called Wobble, and eats a whole cucumber each day for breakfast.
At last I was solvent again. I lived for a year in Dubrovnik with Natasha. I'd met her in Monte where she was working on the Blackjack table. It turned out she worked for the CIA and wanted me to assassinate an evil head of state. I was to poison the olives he had with his Martinis. I told her those days were over, and I left to live a simple life on a kibbutz growing tomatoes and chrysanthemums.
However, fate was about to deal me another card. I fell in love with a beautiful, dusky eyed, woman called Ruth. Later she revealed herself to be a Major in Mossad and was mainly interested in me for my Dark Ops capability. Smitten as I was, I did her bidding. I can't say too much about my work for them except that the once complex Iranian nuclear software algorithm now only plays an old version of Angry Birds to the sound of Barbra Streisand singing "Hello Dolly". For my efforts I was given the highest award the Israeli Defence Forces are able to give to a foreigner, the Sling of David. To my knowledge I am the only person to have that decoration along with the Sword of Mohammed.
On my return to the UK I bumped into Big Ron my old sergeant. He had fallen on hard times and was about to rob his local Greggs for a steak bake. I talked him out of it, gave him some money for a suit and a new eye patch, and now he's a security guard at Aldi. I'm just that sort of guy, always look out for my mates.
Modesty and the Official Secrets Act prevent me from telling you more of my experiences, and I can leave you to speculate on who was responsible for the reunification of Germany.
Lately I've been working with Martin Scorsese on an autobiographical film. It's called "An Ordinary Life". Stephen Fry has written the screenplay and Paul McCartney is writing the soundtrack. The younger me will be played by Harry Styles, but the adult will be played by Colin Farrell. Kylie Minogue has agreed to play Wobble the cat. Filming will take place in several locations and I will have a cameo part as the renegade, Zoran, the loveable alien dealer in stolen body organs.

So why am I here? As you can see, I am, just a normal, everyday type of bloke. Yes I've been in a few scrapes, yes I'm lucky to be alive, seen a few things I can never discuss and I''ve slept with some beautiful women, but now I'm starting to adjust to a quieter life and hoping to meet an attractive lady with wit, taste and intelligence.


UPDATE...UPDATE...UPDATE

I have heard that Wobble now has a prosthetic leg. Harry Styles says he is "honoured and delighted" to be playing the younger me. Guy, the gay with the limp and the lisp has left the Funeral Director as he always wore black and it depressed him.

Ideal Partner:

7. attributes of my ideal partner...

1. An intelligent woman
2. Moderate drinker
3. Enjoys nature,music, theatre, arts etc.
4. Doesn't expect me to ride a horse, dolphin, camel or motorbike
5. Wants the attention and excitement that she misses
6. Able to get away from home and occasionally stay away
7. Not obsessed with collecting pottery figurines, witchcraft, tea towels, or pebbles

Other Interests:

Arts / Crafts, Museums / Galleries, Gardening, Music - Country, Music - Classical / Opera, Music - Blues/Jazz, Music - Rock, Hiking / Camping, Politics, Literature / History, Religion, Football / Soccer / Rugby, Golf, Theatre / Ballet, Travel / Sightseeing

Gifts Received Recently :