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Should I feel guilty?

"Help IE! I'm worried the kid's school might be closed this week because of this news about concrete collapsing and having to homeschool again. Schools in Essex are affected but I don't know for sure yet. I know this might sound terrible, but in the past few weeks I have been planning to meet a lover I met online as soon as I dropped the kids off.

It's not the first time I have had an affair, but I had been planning it for when the kids go back as I have more time to myself. It's my little secret and I've been building up and so excited for this to happen and now it might be over. Now I don't know what to do, what do I say to my lover? I feel guilt for him and for the kids. I need advice.

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Comments (68)

Petruchio911 - 13 Sep, 2023 - 09:54PM


.Blonde ......Jane Blonde

Licensed to Thrill.......except for the six points for speeding and a bald tyre.

I could just do with a 3 day conference.

P911 CPD

Naughty in NW - 13 Sep, 2023 - 07:36PM


Mon Dieu!!!! You will get me into serious trouble! My mother told me about guys like you........ fortunately I took no f***ing notice. Sadly I will have to turn down your invitation, or I'll lose my license to practice, lol.

Thesis material? Absobloodylutely . And enough material for a three day conference as well! 😋

 1 member likes this comment.

Petruchio911 - 13 Sep, 2023 - 12:09AM


HA HA this place must be great for case studies ......Phd thesis material

P911 case study

 1 member likes this comment.

Petruchio911 - 12 Sep, 2023 - 11:51PM


I think there needs to be some verification of professional qualifications and indemnity insurance prior to any services being providrd.....if you show me yours i will reciprocate.

Dodgy dingy needs to be availabke for next week as a local £5 car wash owner in Wigan has commissioned me to pop over to Calais to provide a lift to a few potential employees he wishes to interview.....maybe you could accompany me and we could pick up some chateau neuf 69 and charcuterie whilst dodging les gendarmes.

P911 sacre bleu

 1 member likes this comment.

Naughty in NW - 12 Sep, 2023 - 09:58PM


No issue. I'll throw in a freebie or two at my discretion! These are important issues we are chewing over on here. Can't put a price on that, lol. 😋

 3 members like this comment.

Beckysharp - 12 Sep, 2023 - 09:21PM

Naughty in NW if you’re qualified I probably couldn’t afford you!

Naughty in NW - 12 Sep, 2023 - 08:40PM


As a qualified psychotherapist (yes seriously) I can take over once your attention span is depleted. Could make a great team? Split the fees accordingly?

I see you still have 'dodgy dinghy' issues. This is very significant and probs needs at least two or three sessions to explore. Mates rates of course as we are fellow sinners. 😂

PS.....if you feel you need to talk about signing yourself of as 'green bin monitor' we can cover that as well. It's all complicated stuff, but I can cope with that. 😂😂😂

 3 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 12 Sep, 2023 - 04:12PM


I say one for you 😉…

Beckysharp - 12 Sep, 2023 - 04:05PM

I only bother with those ones #priorities 😂

Petruchio911 - 12 Sep, 2023 - 03:12PM

No we only want the salacious ones......failed maternal birthday card or other domestic foibles like putting recyclables in the general rubbish dont count

P911 green bin monitor

Beckysharp - 12 Sep, 2023 - 03:05PM

You did say tell you ALL my guilt/anxiety issues Pet!!

Petruchio911 - 12 Sep, 2023 - 02:45PM

somewhere between 5 mins and 20 mins. We blokes have limited attention span......NEXT!!

whilst you are on your knees and penitent be a love and see if you can infldate my dodgy dingy for me.

Was it Scottish or Sottish u were being accused of....was it me ?......

With all the fluoxitine im on my short term memory is going......


 1 member likes this comment.

Enigma.. - 11 Sep, 2023 - 10:52PM

I’ve been posting on the wrong thread.
But before anyone posts anything else… 🤔.
There is a certain male on this thread who, very obviously, doesn’t remember that he had several digs at me for being Scottish.
No you don’t know me and never will.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions regardless of age, gender, nationality etc… 🤷🏼‍♀️.
As you were… 😉😃
(Grabs a large bucket of popcorn, a front row seat and awaits the backlash). 😂

Naughty in NW - 11 Sep, 2023 - 09:25PM

Bobby224-11Sep, 2023-08.30PM

Love the sarcasm. Spot on 😂

 2 members like this comment.

Bobby224 - 11 Sep, 2023 - 08:30PM


Really appreciate you taking the time to reach out.

 1 member likes this comment.

Paula99 - 11 Sep, 2023 - 02:35PM


I would probably need ‘confession’😂😂

 1 member likes this comment.

Beckysharp - 11 Sep, 2023 - 01:11PM


How long have you got?! 😬

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Petruchio911 - 11 Sep, 2023 - 01:06PM


Dr Freud will see you now.

Lie down on the couch relax and tell me all of your guilt/anxiety issues.


Beckysharp - 11 Sep, 2023 - 11:17AM

Guilt is a societal repression?

I completely disagree. I think feeling guilt makes us human. People who don’t feel guilt have labels attached to them…

I do agree that when we are young we often don’t really have anything to feel guilty about (apart from forgetting your mums birthday 😂). But as we get older and take on more responsibilities the guilt becomes real!!

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Bobby224 - 11 Sep, 2023 - 06:28AM


Haha I’m definitely not defending anyone, I don’t know any of them to truly care. Likewise with you and I didn’t ‘hang you out to dry’!! Neither you or I know if your point is actually valid but it’s your point of view which is fair enough. Tbh I made a comment because I was surprised with the tone of your posts to two other members. I’m sorry if I’ve stepped out of line and will bow out now!

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Petruchio911 - 11 Sep, 2023 - 12:31AM

Blimey its all kicked off in here.... maybe its the hot weather......i think this needs to be settled with a damn good food fight or a drinking game......or both .


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ExoticOrchid - 10 Sep, 2023 - 11:38PM

TBH - 08:50PM


(can I have a pistachio 🍦pretty please)

Seeking more - 10 Sep, 2023 - 09:31PM


Would you like a bigger spade to keep digging or happy with the one you've got?

You were making all sorts of judgements about someone YOU don't know and you don't even seem to realise that's the core of the issue!

Again, making a judgement about JRR! Perhaps she's not been online. Perhaps she thinks you're too petty to engage with. Who knows? You're lacking s few brain cells dear. Just take a chill pill.

 2 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 10 Sep, 2023 - 09:16PM


I made a valid point to which everyone thought they should hang me out to dry …meanwhile you are all defending someone you don’t know….but JRR is sitting behind her keyboard watching you all defending her and I dare say she hasn’t got the bollox to defend herself …I rest my case..🤐

Bobby224 - 10 Sep, 2023 - 08:59PM


In one post you say this a chat forum. So does that mean when you are talking to JRR nobody else can join in? NNW in my view was respectful and just put her point of view across. That’s my opinion or has it got nothing to do with me either?

 2 members like this comment.

TheBoredHousewife - 10 Sep, 2023 - 08:50PM

The heat is really getting to our heads.

🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦 for everyone.

Fwiw, I thought that both Paula99 and NinNW had valid points. So it’s quits.

Resuming ⭐️ position in bed 😎

 1 member likes this comment.

Naughty in NW - 10 Sep, 2023 - 08:36PM


Wow. You are now just being borderline passive aggressive. I'm too intelligent and dignified to give you any more time. Your attitude belongs in the playground. Let's just agree to disagree about this. Not going to engage any further with you. Would be interested to find out views of other members though.

 3 members like this comment.

Seeking more - 10 Sep, 2023 - 08:26PM

Naughty in NW

I totally agree with your comments to Paula 99 regarding respect and not judging each other. Christ, this is supposed to be a light hearted 'escape' from our everyday existence where all that negative stuff is rife. Live and let live.

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Paula99 - 10 Sep, 2023 - 08:25PM


You made it your personal battle …like I said before if JRR isn’t happy about my post …what it got to do with you ?

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Naughty in NW - 10 Sep, 2023 - 08:06PM


Do I always fight others battles? Errrrr ...... nope. Didn't realise it was a 'battle' in the first place! With respect, you're missing my point. Of course everyone on here can disagree with posts and a respectful challenge makes a conversation interesting. My point was that you were judgemental and not particularly respectful in your message to JRR. You were also quite judgemental of my response to you. I rest my case.

 3 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 10 Sep, 2023 - 07:54PM

NNW… do you always fight others battles?

This is a chat forum …if you want to join it then you must be able to take the good and the bad…we can’t please everyone so I don’t intend to try ….

If JRR doesn’t like my post she is welcome to explain her reasons as I have expressed mine 😁

 2 members like this comment.

Naughty in NW - 10 Sep, 2023 - 05:22PM


Regarding Jessica RR. Whilst I kinda agree with your point regarding understanding the 'concept of guilt', I think all of us on here need to be mindful that we know absolutely nothing about each other. Although JessicaRR is very young how do you know what's happened in her life and what has shaped her to date? Let's strive to not be judgemental of each other with sweeping statements that can be misconstrued or even hurtful.

 3 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 10 Sep, 2023 - 04:04PM


You’re only 23 …you’re in a very young relationship and you have had no life skills/experiences to date …and basically you don’t understand the concept of your statement …this is so typical of the ‘entitled generation’ 😕

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JessicaRampantRabbit - 10 Sep, 2023 - 02:26PM

Guilt is just a societal repression. Don’t succumb to that. Be free and act how nature intended x

 1 member likes this comment.

Enigma.. - 10 Sep, 2023 - 12:56PM

If you actually needed to ask that question in the first place!?!

1546721 - 08 Sep, 2023 - 09:38PM

Be honest and just rearrange

Paula99 - 08 Sep, 2023 - 05:57PM

…the way I see it is …if you are going to feel guilt it’s got naff all to do with the school term beginning or the building falling down?🙄
If you were going to meet your lover and your great Aunt Fanny decided that she needed a new zimmer frame then you should be able to communicate with your IE.. but I do think there is more to this question than meets the eye ..
If you are feeling ‘guilty’ then this game isn’t for you…you do need to be fully clued up an expect the unexpected😁

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1622004 - 08 Sep, 2023 - 03:55PM

It is natural to feel that guilt as an extra marital lover is out of "normal" society. But you need to live your life and enjoy yourself. We all get one amazing life and I do not want to end it thinking "I wish I had...."
accept your feelings, understand them and do what you want or need to. Your lover will understand if you need to delay but do take time for yourself and if you still want him he will be there for you to have some sensual fun with.

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laugar164 - 08 Sep, 2023 - 03:33PM

Paula,Eo I'm all ways optimistic glass is all ways full
Come sip from my cup
Of life

Paula99 - 08 Sep, 2023 - 02:28PM

Ex Od …

Yea same here…😬

ExoticOrchid - 08 Sep, 2023 - 12:43AM

l164 - 02:28PM

I know ... I'm too optimistic! 😄

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Part-time lover - 07 Sep, 2023 - 03:17PM

Conman sense is more widespread unfortunately.

 2 members like this comment.

laugar164 - 07 Sep, 2023 - 02:28PM

Common sense how very dare you expect people to have this 😉

 1 member likes this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 07 Sep, 2023 - 01:57PM

P99 - 01:30PM

Common sense isn't common ...unfortunately! 🤷

 4 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 07 Sep, 2023 - 01:30PM

All is necessary is a little bit of common sense and communication…simples🤦🏽‍♀️

 2 members like this comment.

Needle in a haystack - 07 Sep, 2023 - 12:55PM

Surely you can just rearrange 😂

 2 members like this comment.

boav91 - 07 Sep, 2023 - 11:31AM

My view on this is if you want things to work longer terms then you have to give it a chance and if there are complications of life from time to time and it is a relationship that is working broadly otherwise then the person will understand. If you are looking for a quick fling them maybe not but if this is meant to be developing into something longer and the person is not a total idiot then there should be an understanding that real life has to come first some times and you have to be patient. the thing I always find hard is when people dont say and disappear. Be honest and you will find out where you stand.

If they dont want you after that or if you dont want them because you feel guilty then maybe it was not meant ot be

 1 member likes this comment.

ClassyLady77 - 06 Sep, 2023 - 09:48PM

🤦‍♀️ schools that are closing are either only partly closing or they’ve found alternative sites for.. so very few kids will be affected. IF your kids Schools are shut you would know by now..

As for your affair just tell him the truth. Things happen it’s life. IF he doesn’t understand then he’s not worth your time going forward..

vilbrequin1 - 06 Sep, 2023 - 02:19PM

The idea sounds like perfect end of the summer holidays!
Shouldn’t be too much of an issue to wait a little longer as any delay isn’t avoidable and plus if they aren’t then probably not the type you want to have an affair with

Real life and keeping the secret will always end up being priority

Alan74 - 06 Sep, 2023 - 01:10PM

If he’s worth your time and effort he’ll understand. A gentleman would be reassuring you and telling you to put the children first. If he’s not doing those things he’s not worth your time.

 2 members like this comment.

badryan - 06 Sep, 2023 - 08:45AM

Not sure you should feel any guilt. I mean there must be an understanding that unfortunately kids/life does come in the way of our perfect plans. You gotta revisit the plans with your lover and find another date. I am sure if tables are turned and he/she had an emergency you would be ok with it as well.

Whatmorals2000 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 08:16PM

Good chance to cement a new relationship?

Or Block the new one?

 4 members like this comment.

Petruchio911 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 01:04PM

If you have an EMA with a builder you can kill two birds with one stone.

You can sort the kids school roof out and have your affair .....although knowing most builders you cant get the buggers to come round when they promises to and they leave site with the job half finished.


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tarnished knight - 05 Sep, 2023 - 12:51PM

Agree with what is being said. I don't have kids, but if I were seeing someone who did, then obviously the kids come first. There will undoubtedly be opportunities along the way and perhaps the wait will make the occasion even more memorable ...

Paula99 - 04 Sep, 2023 - 06:11PM


I think it’s the reference to concrete that’s the winner 😂😂😂

 2 members like this comment.

TheBoredHousewife - 04 Sep, 2023 - 05:06PM

Not sure why this should even be an issue? Fear of losing someone the OP has never met? Can that online entity even be considered a lover yet? In any case, if a genuine connection is there, like everybody else, the other party will wait. If not, then it is time to move on.

 3 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 04 Sep, 2023 - 04:11PM

Paula99 - 04 Sep, 2023 - 01:43PM
"Is this for real or what ?"

Indeed ... I'm struggling to understand what/where the worry and guilt is for here!!!

 2 members like this comment.

laugar164 - 04 Sep, 2023 - 03:34PM

Anyone entering an affair should understand the family come first affairs should be fun when they are not its time to finish

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Perfect moments - 04 Sep, 2023 - 02:43PM

I am sorry but family should always come first.
If your IE has got family I am sure he will understand.
And if he doesn't and gets moody about it then it's time to move on.

bobloblaw10 - 04 Sep, 2023 - 02:28PM

Life gets in the way. Kids should definitely come first. Just tell him, if he reacts poorly to it then you'll have potentially dodged a bullet.

 2 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 04 Sep, 2023 - 01:43PM

Is this for real or what ?

 4 members like this comment.

Sandypops - 04 Sep, 2023 - 01:16PM

Kids come first ALWAYS

If your lover is worth it, he'll understand and wait.

Could you do an evening meet when your OH is home.

Or do you have a school friend your kids could go to for a few hours over lunch or after school hours maybe and you return the favour another day depending on the age of the children?

If not, enjoy the anticipation of delaying the meet. And get the toys and video out 😉

 2 members like this comment.

Mercutio24 - 04 Sep, 2023 - 12:17PM

I wouldn't feel guilty and agree with others that the kids come first. I would expect that if the shool ois affected you would have heard by now and will know what arrangements need to be made. I had a brief affair about 8 years ago and my friend was having issues with her kid at school so kept her phone on when she got round to mine. We had a few hours fun before she had to take a call from the school, sitting naked on her clothes on my bedroom floor. We laughed about what their reaction might have been but obviously once she's spoken to them then we stopped our meet and she left. We eventually ran out of suitable meeting times as she began home schooling. Happy times though.
Hope it works out for you.

ExoticOrchid - 04 Sep, 2023 - 10:29AM

" Now I don't know what to do, what do I say to my lover? "

Err you tell him the truth IF it turns out that your kids' school is affected ... he has surely heard about the school closures already unless he's been living in a tent in outer Mongolia so he knows it's a genuine reason and not an excuse!

 6 members like this comment.

enjoy123 - 04 Sep, 2023 - 10:23AM

kids always come first. get sexy with your lover on the phone when you have the chance.

 2 members like this comment.

Dotty Green - 04 Sep, 2023 - 09:21AM

Two things...

As has been said below - if he his keen he will wait things happen.

Your guilt.... why do you feel guilty ? Obv I would say Kids and family should always come first.

Don't feel guilty about your lover he will wait if it is meant to be.

 3 members like this comment.

Beckysharp - 04 Sep, 2023 - 09:12AM

Why would it be over? If the school isn’t opening you’d already know about it I’m sure!

Worst case you have to postpone meeting your lover for a few weeks- frustrating (in all senses of the word!!) but real life comes first.

 4 members like this comment.

TJJ89_fun - 04 Sep, 2023 - 08:55AM

Try not to feel guilty. Go with what your gut tells you and just remember that it’s real life, these kind of things happen. If your lover is worth it then they’ll completely understand whatever you decide :)

 1 member likes this comment.

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