Am I just panicking or should I be concerned?
I’ve been chatting to a guy on here since last October, and wanted to meet him, but due to a family bereavement on his side, a meet hasn’t happened yet.
Recently I’ve really wanted to meet him, but when I mention he says he can’t, as he’s too flakey and concentrating on his family. He has a habit of going awol from chats for weeks at a time, with no word, then comes back, and expects me to be ok about that.
This week he finally decided that he’s like to meet, but I’m worried about the circumstances. The hotel he’s picked is near his workplace, but a 40min drive for me, he doesn’t want to meet for a drink first, just go straight for sex. He’s picked the day, but hasn’t even asked me if it’s convenient for me.
My intuition is telling me to be careful, but I’m not sure if I’m just nervous, as this would be my first affair.
Could anyone that has more experience offer and guidance or gut feelings on this one?
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Comments (151)
Silver Swan - 07 Apr, 2024 - 10:50PM
First of all: if a guy is really truly into you he willl always, ALWAYS find the time. It doesn’t matter how busy he is… he will find a way. That’s just the way they are. 99.9% of men, anyway.
Second: if he’s not falling over himself to make the meeting convenient for you as well as him? That’s a red flag. Courtesy and empathy are so important - and a foray into an affair is inevitably an even riskier undertaking for a female than it is for a male: physical safety makes this so..
my advice? Girl, don’t put all your proverbial eggs in this basket. Don’t chase. You’re worth more respect and time than it seems this guy is willing to bestow!
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Linecaughtonly - 31 Mar, 2024 - 03:51PM
I don’t like the sound of this at all. Most importantly, this seems to be being dictated by him, and you don’t sound comfortable with it, or indeed like it’s actually how you want it to be,…… in basically any way! For me, quote apart from the safety risk of finding yourself in a hotel room with a bloke you’ve never met before who is expecting sex, your words show that you’re uncomfortable with that idea, and I’m sure he’s picked up on that discomfort just as we have,….. and he’s clearly not backed off. So for me, don’t do it. It’s a shame to ditch him after so long, but his behaviour won’t change and ultimately an affair is a consentual partnership not a selfish dictatorship. Run away, you can do better! 🙂
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Oldboy 74 - 31 Mar, 2024 - 03:09PM
That pattern of behaviour will only continue. It’s up to you if you are comfortable with it. If not pull away.
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Yourbabygirlie - 26 Mar, 2024 - 02:21PM
I definitely wouldn’t go. Meeting someone for a coffee first would definitely be good enough to get to know someone. Jumping straight into sex is a red flag, especially if you’ve never met them before.
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1655050 - 23 Mar, 2024 - 08:29PM
Looking at first post from February 2022! Can we assume , she met him in hotel room , posted about his little Willie (see other post ) , and he posted about her little boobies ( see other post ) sorted
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1656615 - 23 Mar, 2024 - 07:05PM
Thats a red flag . Dont go . Im a male and i think a meet for coffee and a chat first is best . See you you both like each other . Then go from there . If you do go anything could happen . Safety first your own safety . Plenty more to chat with and meet . Only you will decide what you will do
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LibertyBelle27 - 23 Mar, 2024 - 05:07PM
You should absolutely be concerned and walk away now. There are lots of lovely guys on this site but sadly also some who are not so lovely. In my view he falls into the latter category.
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WarmheartColdfeet - 23 Mar, 2024 - 03:52PM
Sorry, but this is a big fat no. Just don't go there. It will end in miserable disappointment and could even be unsafe. No on-the-level guy would ever expect this. Your instincts tell you it's wrong because it is.
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mipaulac - 22 Mar, 2024 - 01:57AM
You have to ask why he doesn't want to meet in public first as a man I wouldn't want a women to do this and extremely supicious of anyone insisting I do so and paying etc.
There is a hidden agenda and he's not the person you've been lead to believe, you could be meeting more than one person !!
Have you had a video calls or had cyber sex ?
Exchanged day to day life stories surnames etc.
Do you know the venue or had any say in deciding it?
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