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Dating tips

Feel like I have been out of the dating game for so long, it's almost like relearning an entire language. 

My flirting skills are not so great... Any tips for a nice gent seeking a nice lady?

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Comments (124)

1588157 - 10 Oct, 2023 - 03:11PM


Good grief!

I can offer the following options:

1) a day in a punt ( I said PUNT ) on the Cam followed by a cheeky glass or two of something fizzy.

2) zip wire in bethesda quarry north wales followed by a stiff brandy.

3) boating in the dodgy inflatable on windermere followrd by cumberlamd sausage (steady on) and a pint of guiness in the lowwood hotel.

4) boating on the Leeds Liverpool canal (NINW will lend me her canoe) followed by a pie on a barm cake and a cuppa.

5) hot air ballooning on Clifton Downs Bristol followed by a pint of very strong cider.

P911Red Letter Days

 1 member likes this comment.

TheBoredHousewife - 09 Oct, 2023 - 06:41PM

Lusty40 - 09 Oct, 2023 - 09:05AM

What L&E said. You deserve a really nice date.
We can be discrete and still have a marvellous time!
Rooting for you 😊

Legs&Eyes - 09 Oct, 2023 - 01:29PM

Lusty40 - 09 Oct, 2023 - 09:05AM

I might be misunderstanding, are you saying out of your 2 marriages you never went out on any nice dates before marriage?? Surely not?

I've literally said 'wow' out loud about 5 times... your post has made me a bit sad if I'm honest... I'm sending you a massive virtual hug and putting it out to the universe for you - THIS LADY NEEDS A NICE DATE NIGHT! x

Beckysharp - thats EXACTLY what its known as! Haha...

 1 member likes this comment.

Beckysharp - 09 Oct, 2023 - 11:33AM

I think it’s called Netflix and chill in the singles world 😂😂

 1 member likes this comment.

Dotty Green - 09 Oct, 2023 - 11:28AM

Lusty40 - 09 Oct, 2023 - 09:05AM

So meeting someone on here - you would chat on line then first meeting sex?

 1 member likes this comment.

Lusty40 - 09 Oct, 2023 - 09:05AM

So I’m nearly 43 & although I’ve been married twice & now divorced twice….. no man has ever taken me out in a date. It’s always just sex.
Not that I’m complaining. But would be nice to find someone who was old fashioned in his values & wanted to treat a woman right.
I get the who discretion thing. But maybe one day!?!

TheBoredHousewife - 08 Oct, 2023 - 08:14PM

MrSurfer - 08 Oct, 2023 - 07:35PM

Very alright for a newbie. Most importantly, relax and enjoy yourself on that date!

 1 member likes this comment.

MrSurfer - 08 Oct, 2023 - 07:35PM

Don't worry about messing up (confidence), read and respond appropriately, compliment (sincerely, and be specific), be respectful, be patient and don't listen to me... I'm new here :)

 2 members like this comment.

Loveisbeautiful659 - 04 Oct, 2023 - 10:17PM


StuartB77 - 04 Oct, 2023 - 08:47PM

If it’s right it’ll come naturally without any work on anyone’s part, nothing to relearn and it’ll just happen… you’ll know from the first message and everything else will drop in to place.. good luck!

TheBoredHousewife - 04 Oct, 2023 - 06:51PM

FluffyClouds - 04 Oct, 2023 - 12:34PM

Exactly. There is no point. If my profile speaks to the man, he will write. And I will be able to tell if he is genuinely interested, and respond accordingly.

 2 members like this comment.

Purple dreamer - 04 Oct, 2023 - 01:00PM

Just go with flow

Ricky67999 - 04 Oct, 2023 - 12:38PM

P911 😂😂😂

FluffyClouds - 04 Oct, 2023 - 12:34PM

I don't really search for this reason, the Gold issue. Can't see the point really. Isn't that part of the experience for the men, to search and chase? 🤣

 3 members like this comment.

1588157 - 04 Oct, 2023 - 12:21PM


Hes a bloke ....we dont read instructions !


 2 members like this comment.

Ricky67999 - 04 Oct, 2023 - 12:18PM

P99 - not if published by Haynes, I‘ve already got one of those and it’s black and white, unintelligible and best used to put mugs of coffee on !!

Anyone for a spreadsheet ? 😂

Paula99 - 04 Oct, 2023 - 12:08PM


You will be asking for a manual next 😂😂😂😂

 1 member likes this comment.

Beckysharp - 04 Oct, 2023 - 12:03PM

It’s not helpful for women sadly. As loads of men are online but not gold. Just perving! Why/what they’re perving I’ve no idea !

 1 member likes this comment.

Ricky67999 - 04 Oct, 2023 - 11:56AM

FluffyClouds - yes i get that, although you’ve just burst my bubble 😢 😀. !!!! That’s where seeing how recently someone has been signed in is helpful, and if you can connect with someone who is online in that instant even better ?

It is rather daunting though & easy to lose track of whose profiles you’ve read - any tips on that gratefully received !!

FluffyClouds - 04 Oct, 2023 - 11:15AM

Ricky67999 -

Mmm, but a lot of those 1000 matches won't have an account that's been used for a long time. If they've not been online within the last week, they're more than likely dormant or abandoned.

 3 members like this comment.

Beckysharp - 04 Oct, 2023 - 10:42AM

For me Ricky67999 when I was looking I focused quite a bit on my own search/messaging guys I was interested in. I obviously still read messages I did get.

The trouble with messaging men is even if their profile is active that doesn’t mean they’re gold and can read/reply. So women can also get a lot of unanswered messages!!

With my current guy I apparently messaged him when he wasn’t gold. He replied months later when he did sign up. But by that stage I was back with my ex! We did both get there in the end fortunately 😅

 4 members like this comment.

Ricky67999 - 04 Oct, 2023 - 10:13AM

Mister.E.Mann - I can see how you might be frustrated. I joined relatively recently and still finding my feet. It is not easy finding good matches. I did a matchfinder across a wide-ish age range, and within 90 minutes of where I work/live. It came back with over 1,000 matches !!! Needle in a haystack…

I wholeheartedly agree that a personalised profile is much more likely to attract (my) attention than the standard - and so I‘ve personalised mine more in the hope that it sparks the right level of interest. If i get to the end of a profile and I’m smiling so much because what’ she’s said is a virtual mirror image of me then she’s 100% caught my attention. I just think if I adopt a scatter gun approach I’m setting myself up for disappointment, and it’s not best use of time.

Question: Do ladies spend more time fending off time wasters than they do on their own search ?

 1 member likes this comment.

1598629 - 03 Oct, 2023 - 04:50PM

Ah bless you, that cliche be yourself probably won't help, but natural responses from each other, yes that word chemistry dies play a huge part here. For me it's a meeting of minds and bodies, someone who can be articulate and confident in their own skin. Remember there are no easy answers go what's in your heart and what you feel comfortable with there are I promise a few great ladies on the site, put in thevwork and the rewards will follow.

 1 member likes this comment.

Mister.E.Mann - 02 Oct, 2023 - 09:19PM

FluffyClouds -

I get that. People will have red lines but, for example, I might state that I'm looking for someone between 5'6" and 5'10" and I'd be a fool to rule out a lovely woman who was 5'4½" or 6'0". Obviously, if a profile says that they are into museums, art, theatre, period dramas and folk music and I'm into motorbikes, DIY, basic camping, sci-fi shows and rock music, I'm not going to send them a message! 😄 That's the point of the personalised message, based on their profile. There is no excuse for using a "Stored response"... 😒 I wasn't suggesting (I hope) that he should send the same stock message to everyone in the area! 😲

I think we're probably arguing the same thing..! 😁 The difference is that your an attractive woman who knows what she wants and I'm... over 56! 🤣🤣🤣

 1 member likes this comment.

FluffyClouds - 02 Oct, 2023 - 07:20PM

Mister.E.Mann -

That's fine, but take it from someone who gets messages from men who are not within my age parameters nor match any of my criteria. It's annoying, because they've just not read my profile. Wasting both mine and their own time. 🤷

 2 members like this comment.

Mister.E.Mann - 02 Oct, 2023 - 12:28PM

FluffyClouds -

I am at the stage of my life when things like hair colour or eye colour are completely unimportant. I don't care if my prospective IE has blonde, brown, red or blue hair! Maybe that's undiscerning but I'd hate to judge a book by its cover. If you're feeling unappreciated, unfulfilled or lonely, it's far more important to find someone relatively local and try to discover what's between their ears.

If one simply rules out, say, all short and "cuddly" people, you could be missing out on a soul mate. That's why I said "... as you CAN" and not to everyone!! Needless to say, there appears to be a great many profiles of women that are either dead or not monitored. Maybe it's just me, or my age group, but it's disheartening to send out a dozen carefully crafted personal messages and the recipients don't even check your profile, let alone reply!

Sorry, rant over! I'm not in the happiest place at the moment and frustration is beginning to set in... waste of time or waste of money? IDK

 2 members like this comment.

laugar164 - 29 Sep, 2023 - 09:09PM

For me it's just being yourself trying to be something else just won't work remember you are looking for a partner to spend some quality time with we're you can be yourself and have fun

FluffyClouds - 29 Sep, 2023 - 07:22PM

Mister.E.Mann -

Send out as many personal messages as you can? That sounds undiscerning. Surely, you should send out messages to profiles that actually appeal to you including descriptions. Otherwise it's just a waste of time.

 4 members like this comment.

Mister.E.Mann - 29 Sep, 2023 - 04:31PM

All I can suggest is to send out as many personal messages as you can as the vast majority do not reply. If they reply, you'll have a hint as to whether they're really like their profile. After that, just be as honest as you can and see where it takes you. Flirting comes after a while...

Beckysharp - 29 Sep, 2023 - 11:50AM

For a first meet I like to go for a walk with the option of a drink at the end if we fancy. But it has to be nice weather!! I cancelled the first planned meet with current guy as it was 🌧️

I just find a nice walk can be lovely anyway, even if I don’t want to see the guy again.

If I am hoping to see him again a I like a little snog at the end to make sure we’re compatible in that department too 😇

 3 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 29 Sep, 2023 - 11:50AM

Younger men are confident and driven but they lack judgment and experience that older guys have ….they are so wrapped up in themselves and their ‘important jobs’ they can’t see past their noses…younger women will be in awe of them…whereas an older lady would just think ‘ not going there ‘ 😂

 2 members like this comment.

leggysheila - 29 Sep, 2023 - 09:23AM

I have to agree with you XXX I have found dating older men makes it easier they don't make outlandish gestures and are never full of their selves.As for me what you see is what you get x Happy hunting XXX

tea_coffee_me_ - 20 Jun, 2020 - 11:45PM

"Renaissance66 -
So here's a question to challenge a conscience...
If a young (ish 😁) woman ends up having to be a full time carer for the love of her life
As an example 'end of life care' could be over many years...
Bit off topic but I'll chuck it in...."
Why a challenge a conscience?
If anyone young or old, is missing that element, esp if a partner poorly, if they are looking after that person to the best of their ability... often they are already giving up their lives to do so...
Work, career, self fulfillment ....
By finding human connection, affection, they are NOT taking anything from the person they are caring for ... and by having that time, a break etc they may also be a better carer than not.
Being a carer is a bl**dy difficult job!!

As a mum of 24 hours a day 7 days a week, (no school, even at normal times), I know by having a break to try and find out who I am again, it makes me a better mum.

 4 members like this comment.

1386366 - 20 Jun, 2020 - 12:51PM

I think part of the problem on IE is that common courtesy seems to be so hard to achieve.

I completely agree that you should read a profile, introduce yourself and refer to what the profile says, and having carried out this religiously on a number of occasions to be greeted with one way silence does take the biscuit. Surely if somebody makes the effort it doesn't hurt to provide a polite - No Thanks.

 3 members like this comment.

1352608 - 19 Jun, 2020 - 11:10AM

I think.i can count on one hand when someone has actually read my profile and introduces himself and refers to something I have written
Instead you get "Tell me what you want in a man? I mean it clearly states what I would like! "
Or "Do you want to have some fun?"
I just dont see the point in replying at all really.

 8 members like this comment.

SeekingYou77 - 18 Jun, 2020 - 04:31PM

You will be lucky if you find someone to meet.I lost all hope esp when a message starts "what are you looking for" a man with a pulse I guess 😂

 3 members like this comment.

1357429 - 18 Jun, 2020 - 04:18PM


I can assure you there won’t ever be any replies to you asking someone withIn your FIRST message for a HOT FU&K.

Wow what a gentleman you are!

 3 members like this comment.

Lisaxoxo - 18 Jun, 2020 - 12:38PM

cornforthwhite - 18 Jun, 2020 - 10:49AM

By your comments it doesn't seem you learned a lot lol

 3 members like this comment.

1389672 - 18 Jun, 2020 - 10:49AM

Look up Coach Corey Wayne on YouTube and buy 3% Man on Audible. This guy will teach you everything you need to know... also if you’re a woman and want to know how the whole chemistry thing works then check it out too. The guy absolutely nailed the dating game and totally gets how women work... (keep it a secret) ;-)

 1 member likes this comment.

1392484 - 18 Jun, 2020 - 09:55AM

Finding it hard on here to get replies to a question..How are WE going to chat if they Only say Hullo back.... Answers on postcard....

1386174 - 18 Jun, 2020 - 09:46AM

Viva La Vida - 17 Jun, 2020 - 06:46PM

Having looked at your profile surely you are not lacking approaches, but is the the absence of empathy that keeps us here....?

Personally, I don't need 'saving' I need a meaningful connection....
Much as I enjoy some of the communication that comes my way I usually know from the first message (and profile view) how things will go...
There are a couple of 'possibles'... we shall see...

 2 members like this comment.

Spacehopper1968 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 11:32PM

Always have some lube and condoms at the ready, some IE’s I’ve met like to skip the flirting stage!

Chezley - 17 Jun, 2020 - 08:09PM

Play around with words and feelings if you like.

What's important is to be able to make arrangements and be reliable.

 3 members like this comment.

tender_rock - 17 Jun, 2020 - 07:20PM

Renaissance66 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 04:54PM
When there is a “need” whether its physical or emotional, it needs to be dealt in a positive way. What really matters is how you feel from within, remember that it is your conscious and only you can answer and reason with it.

There will always be people with their opinions and judging eyes regardless of what you choose or what you do to fulfil your need.

“Life is too short to be anything but happy. So kiss slowly, love deeply, forgive quickly. Take chances and never have regrets. Forget the past but remember what it taught you.”

 6 members like this comment.

Viva La Vida - 17 Jun, 2020 - 06:46PM

Renaissance66 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 04:54PM

I’m keen to know too.

 2 members like this comment.

Classycougar - 17 Jun, 2020 - 05:20PM

NO, no, no the Only L allowed in an affair IMHO is not LOVE .. but LUST !!!!
If no lust it’s not worth the risk!!

 2 members like this comment.

1380470 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 05:11PM

EmilyW - 17 Jun, 2020 - 02:29PM

Your words resonate with me. I am in a marriage with no intimacy for 14years. It’s difficult and heartbreaking at times but we each have our reasons for doing this and none of us are in a position to judge anyone. I initially thought it was the physically intimacy I missed, but I discovered it’s being made to feel attractive, wanted etc that I needed. So after 25 years of marriage, I called it a day. Epic fail on my timing, we went into lockdown the following day! Thank god for gin and my sense of humour! X

Q. Dating tips: just be true to yourself. You only get out what you put in. [pun not intended]

 3 members like this comment.

1386174 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 04:54PM

So here's a question to challenge a conscience...
If a young (ish 😁) woman ends up having to be a full time carer for the love of her life which excludes her physical needs and finds a discreet solution does that make her bad or a 'cheat'?
As an example 'end of life care' could be over many years...
Bit off topic but I'll chuck it in....

 7 members like this comment.

phillyd - 17 Jun, 2020 - 04:38PM

Just because we are 'cheating doesn't mean we can't be gentlemen. I always try to be one. The same way that there are ladies on here.

1352608 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 04:21PM

I agree you have to have an agreement between you and what works I think. Falling in love for women is not always a problem as long as you set parameters.
Mainly that you wont leave your current partners

 2 members like this comment.

1389672 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 04:07PM

Louisav123 - Close, interior designer... (Farrow & Ball)

Personally I think it's unfair to want or expect someone who's cheating with me to fall too much in love, it will only lead to pain I'm sure. Being in love means being able to let go.

Though everyone is different and I respect that too.

1352608 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 03:52PM

Golly 1k
I have probably not explained the situation that well.
It's just his way I'm not a battered wife he just doesn't do intimacy like holding hands kissing etc and no romance at all.
I was justing commenting before I want the romance and attention and not just sex

 1 member likes this comment.

1352608 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 03:43PM


Just wondering if you are a painter and decorating as name reminds me of company who make paint lol
I admire your honesty I have read your profile you are needing more of sex so.you are looking for NSA
Just be careful and make sure your I.E. understands this.
Theres lots of different people on here who have different needs and expectations.
I think you are nice guy actually down to earth and honest. I wish you luck in the future

 1 member likes this comment.

Golly.1k - 17 Jun, 2020 - 03:39PM

Louisav123 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 03:16PM

Agree with EmilyW, doesn't sound good, if it is not what you want tell him to stop.

I have found it is always the best when you have feelings for your partner, just mechanical physical action is pretty pointless

1352608 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 03:32PM

Emily W
Thanks for the advice I wish you luck xx

1328828 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 03:25PM

Louisav123 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 03:16PM

That sounds like abuse to me, you need to get out if you can.

Don’t give up on the site yet. There are some good guys out there who want a friendship as well as the frolics, persevere, I guarantee it will be worth it when you find him. Hugs 🤗

1352608 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 03:16PM

Emily W
I hope u are ok as a woman who has been in avery long marriage i just need some clarification. I feel I have not had a comfortable intimate relationship for a very long time but I do have sex though but only on his terms. Its rough sex with lots of biting on his part not mine.
I know now this site isn't really for me as most of men want sex and nothing else

 1 member likes this comment.

Mysterious 3.0 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 03:14PM

@AAGilfan makes a good point, if you choose to give yourself to someone, for a large proportion of the female population you might expect to see a bit of effort.... It does not mean that you become penpals only...
I could name and shame the scatter gun approach of male members who fail to read even the simplest characteristics in a profile...
To achieve a perfect day you will reap what you sew... (I might write a song about that... 😂)

 1 member likes this comment.

Lisaxoxo - 17 Jun, 2020 - 03:07PM

cornforthwhite - 17 Jun, 2020 - 01:39PM

Nice gent looking for a nice lady? Are you kidding? :-) This is a site for folks who cheat...

This comment is wrong in so many levels.
I really think you are in the wrong place and for you I would advise a sex worker.
This site is to people to connect with each other and we are entitled to choose the kind of man I want to share a secret life with.

Always a gentleman, i deserve nothing less.

 10 members like this comment.

Mews0001 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 02:47PM

I totally agree. So have I ;-)

 1 member likes this comment.

AAGilfan - 17 Jun, 2020 - 02:37PM

EmilyW I think you have hit on 2 important points as to why people are on here - the lack of laughter and the lack of touch at home. Yes laughter is a strong aphrodisiac - because it is a strong sign of (a) making a connection, (b) strong communication and (c) the other person actually listening to you and not closing you down. It also is a great relaxant. But from my experience on here it is also the lack of touch and physical closeness. Communication is not just about the verbal/aural connection but the physical connection too - where all you get at home is a blank response that just undermines your confidence. To have someone listen to you, laugh with you, want to touch you is great for confidence and making one feel valued. And if you are going to end up giving your body to someone then you should want to feel valued by that person

 4 members like this comment.

1386735 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 02:32PM

Nothing wrong with fab, I’ve met some fab 😁 people there

 2 members like this comment.

1328828 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 02:29PM

cornforthwhite - 17 Jun, 2020 - 01:39PM

At home for me there is nothing physical or emotional. Hell, it’s not even a particularly pleasant place to be most of the time. We’ve not been intimate in over 5 years but he has his head in the sand and refuses to acknowledge there’s anything amiss and refuses to separate or divorce. I can’t live the life I have been. I need human touch and a connection, an escape from reality with a decent guy, yes, a gentlemanly type. Everyone has their own reasons for being here and everyone’s looking for something, usually something missing at home or something more. Live and let live.

 10 members like this comment.

Yorkman2020 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 02:25PM

I think we all love to flirt and be flirted with! It’s finding the one who you rally connect with that’s the tricky bit

 1 member likes this comment.

Mews0001 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 02:24PM

Following on -
There are plenty of other sites for hook-ups. Fabswingers being just one I can think of.
Anyway, I've said my piece and am now waiting for the barrage of complaints!!

Mews0001 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 02:23PM

Just an observation about some of the women on this site. I can only speak from a man's perspective, obviously! I may be shot down in flames for speaking out, but hey, that's my risk.
Hopefully I'll not receive messages form the women who only want to chat and will receive them from those that know why they are here and know what they want.

There seems to be a fairly equal balance of the sexes which is very unusual compared to other sites (Ashley Maddison hold your hand up!)

Why then, do soooooo many women have such great expectations of being wooed, of the men having to put all the effort in?

Surely we all know why we are here and if we don't then go find a pen pal!

IMHO this site is primarily about wanting a new sexual partner, for whatever reason. Then, it is about finding a connection with someone (sex with a person you are connected to is SO much better).
I guess that most of us here want just one new person with that special connection I have just mentioned.
Out of characters. Anothe

 3 members like this comment.

All things and wonderful - 17 Jun, 2020 - 02:00PM

I disagree with you on this one, looking for something you're not getting from home doesn't make one a twat or not nice or less gentleman, am sure most on here aren't just here for the sake of it, many are due to circumstances they can't change, whether be family ties (children) or emotional or financial implications...
Personally I have had 3 physical contacts with my spouse in the past 7 years... how will I be called a cheater 😄 when I actually haven't been getting any sex from him....

 7 members like this comment.

1389672 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 01:39PM

Nice gent looking for a nice lady? Are you kidding? :-) This is a site for folks who cheat... good luck with that one... if you’re cheating, drop the ‘Gentleman’ lark. Same goes for all the ladies on here who write ‘looking for the ‘perfect gentlemen’...seriously?

If you’re a single guy and you’re looking for a ‘nice lady’ then maybe take up a hobby, look for meet-ups locally, take up Salsa classes etc...

Really not sure why anyone who cheats (including me if it happens) would consider themselves anything other than a lying twat... once you’ve come to terms with that, then maybe you’ll find the right fit. Sorry to be so frank, but truth-say I recon.

 3 members like this comment.

ClassyLady77 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 01:38PM

Just be yourself.. IF there’s chemistry then the flirting will come....

Onlines hard. For us women it’s finding needle in haystack.. just be thankful your not single and on Tinder, that’s even worse.. 😂

 2 members like this comment.

762219 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 12:42PM

I think in many cases this is a no win situation. Some ladies will like what the guys say some will not.

Ladies, you could help. If you like to hear naughty chat then perhaps you should lead it. If like most you prefer more polite conversation, at least to begin with, please tell us in your profile.

I say in mine that I do not like like vulgarity and bad language but that does not stop me from being flirtatious or erotic if the conversation goes that way.

Gents, take your time to get to know the lady that you desire. It takes time to build trust so don't say something crude that will make you fall at the first hurdle

Stay safe.

 3 members like this comment.

Mysterious 3.0 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 11:14AM

Read the profile of the person being approached PROPERLY
Once you have done that you should be able to find something meaningful to refer to in a message....
Put some effort in and it will be worth it, lazy language gets the results deserved...
Just my six pence worth.... 😁

 1 member likes this comment.

1389944 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 11:05AM

When I’m polite, I’m told I’m too polite
When I’m a little naughty I’m told there’s no need for that

Help 🤣

 2 members like this comment.

WaitingtobeFound - 17 Jun, 2020 - 10:49AM

Well I would stick to n special lady, get to know her and treat her properly. My ie is lovely to me. I know he is a very shy man as he has admitted it but his flirting skills have recently, after 7 months come to the fore.

Be yourself. If you can't be that you are no one!

evalitor - 17 Jun, 2020 - 10:46AM

I am the same as it seems most people in this conversation. Im terrible at flirting, not used to the online thing and am only seeking one person to have fun with not to sleep around.

Somebody did say about being honest but I have found that being too honest seems to put people off as well. Im the kind of person that states things as they are which seems to put a lot of people off.

I wont compromise who I am to suit a site but there must be people here that appreciate complete openness and honesty.

 1 member likes this comment.

1384231 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 10:31AM

20 years ago, chatting up a girl in a nightclub seemed to come natural. A bit different now, just come here to read the comments and maybe learn a few things from you lovely lovely people. Will always keep it honest then take it from there!!
As paddy says “turn one girl off, and take one girl out”

1328828 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 10:27AM

I agree with the other comments about being yourself and honest about what you’re looking for and who you are. A sense of humour helps too. Doesn’t actually need to be flirty, just some fun banter, it is possible to laugh a lady into bed lol!

 2 members like this comment.

Th3on3 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 10:20AM

My flirting skills are terrible, if my profile doesn’t wow, then I am literally screwed, or maybe that’s a bad word choice.

 1 member likes this comment.

laugar99 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 09:58AM

Exactly right polyamorous there is nothing more unattractive then pretending be something you are not people wi see through this straight away affairs must be built on mutual trust to make it work for both be your self their is someone out there for everyone if you look hard enough

1379049 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 09:50AM

Be yourself. That way you are relaxed. If you pretend to be someone you’re not it won’t work. She will see through it in no time and if you get to the coffee stage she will realise that the 6 ft, athletic, hirsute company boss is none of these things. Honesty is the best policy, you will be more confident and attract the right lover for you. It will save you a lot of time and potential embarrassment.

laugar99 - 17 Jun, 2020 - 09:04AM

Hi lushlips i am afeter exactly that just one lady to get t know and have exciting times with

1372619 - 27 May, 2020 - 11:34AM

Hi Lushlips

There are plenty of guys who only seek one lady to find a connection with and .. be loyal.

phillyd - 21 May, 2020 - 04:39PM

lushlips 1978 Not all are like that. I only want one. Not into a string of ladies.

 1 member likes this comment.

1350989 - 18 May, 2020 - 09:23PM

I’ve met a few nice men on here, but they just don’t seem to want to keep to one person ( other than the wife) starting to find the whole idea of meeting someone on here like a battle of wits

 7 members like this comment.

Bugwithone - 17 May, 2020 - 11:45PM



I hope he didn’t just pass away In mid sentence!!!

 5 members like this comment.

Geek0808 - 17 May, 2020 - 11:29PM

Just be yourself and go with the flow. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. Don’t

 1 member likes this comment.

Only With You - 17 May, 2020 - 09:04PM

don't overthink it, just chat and see where it goes, if it's there's s connection the conversation will flow easily

 5 members like this comment.

Thumos - 17 May, 2020 - 08:57PM

It might help to have a much around what the 'Pick Up Community' suggests.

There is a huuuge amount of nonsense in that arena, and it is mainly aimed at the younger man, so take it all with a pinch of salt. Having said that, a great deal is based on Evolutionary Biology, so does make sense.

If I could give just one tip, it's that you are older and more mature now, so are the women in your 'target group'. They are better equipped to spot BS, and won't be as shy as a younger woman about calling you out for it.

Also depends on what you are seeking in a 'special friend'. If it's an 'exclusive' arrangement (respective marriages notwithstanding) then you can probably expect her to want you to woo and chase her a little (but not in a creepy way). If you're looking for polyamorous relationships (again, respective marriages notwithstanding), then generally, you can probably be a bit more direct.

Thumos - 17 May, 2020 - 08:46PM


"ask her what her favourite sex position is.. without even a hello "

Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name...

(For those of us old enough to remember that Doors classic!)

 3 members like this comment.

AA1RON - 17 May, 2020 - 08:00PM

Hi everyone,
I hope you are all well, enjoying the lovely sunshine whilst keeping safe aka Stay Alert. My response to Dating tips & some comments. I would say from my own experience, I agree that this iscompletely different & there are no such tips. In line with earlier comments just be yourself with a cautionary only reveal what you are comfortable sharing including images and information. I say this because anyone can create a free profile pretending to be anyone they like. Believe me I've had my fare share of random messages from male & female profileswith pics that they wouldn't post to their parentsoremployers
It's very difficult to find someone real let alone nice. I guess this is due to a spike in new members especially now in the peak of the lockdown. Don't get me wrong there are some lovely people here and the fake are spoiling it for the rest.Secondly, in my own experience more recently some are misusing free female ids which isn't fair on members spending hundreds!

 4 members like this comment.

Isthisforreal - 17 May, 2020 - 06:26PM

Well be yourself and when the you meet the right one, then flirting skills will flow.

1353301 - 17 May, 2020 - 06:11PM

Just be yourself dont be pushy and have a laugh , and things will lead from there

gemini2310 - 17 May, 2020 - 05:51PM

Just be yourself you will be fine takes time to find the right one and you will it's like riding a bike it will all come back to you

 1 member likes this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 17 May, 2020 - 05:16PM

Teresa di Vicenzo - 17 May, 2020 - 04:57PM

That made me laugh … me neither and no, I don't want any either …

1334304 - 17 May, 2020 - 05:08PM

Oh this is a tough one as I’d say you have to have that natural confidence/flirtatious nature to be on somewhere like here? Be comfortable with what you have to offer, coupled with good wit and I’m sure there will be a perfect lady for you!😉

 2 members like this comment.

Teresa di Vicenzo - 17 May, 2020 - 04:57PM

I’ have to say I’ve never received any dick pics. I don’t really want any, I’m just sayin ..

 4 members like this comment.

MatureWorcsBBW - 17 May, 2020 - 04:17PM

Did you somebody mention dick pics?

 4 members like this comment.

CroydonCentaur - 17 May, 2020 - 04:01PM

Ms T,
True true.
Note, I wasn't for one second criticising your PFP... Far from it.
And Any art that did come my in boxes way would be thoughtfully received.

Rest assured I've received Mens bits And Women's sent, weirdly, sometimes no explanation.
I don't judge
Maybe it's a kink? 🤷🏽‍♂️

1272141 - 17 May, 2020 - 04:00PM

If you really are of low self esteem, damaged and pining. Then you're probably not in the best place for having affairs.

So 'being yourself', now wont be much help. Reinvent yourself. Get to some adult classes, sing, dance, learn to cut shapes out of fruit, whatever.

Forget about sex for now. Get used to being in social settings with women and men. Just talk and get on with folk.

6 months a year from now, let someone try and stop you!!

 4 members like this comment.

851951 - 17 May, 2020 - 03:52PM

There’s a difference between a piece of erotic art and a close up shot of a horrible, raging and sometimes sore dick. Just saying....

 5 members like this comment.

CroydonCentaur - 17 May, 2020 - 03:31PM

Hey Ms T,
- I also receive peculiar and un-solicited, photos or requests (from Men or women), but the reason I l iked your comment was I Personally wouldn't recommend forwarding photos, -particularly of body parts(!) unless requested.

I subscribe to Safe, Sane & Consensual (SSC) maxim.

I did notice your image is... provocative 🤔

're. my profile, -as per OP's original question, chemistry can come from an implied suggestion, but, often, less from a blurry image of bits 😖

 1 member likes this comment.

1184948 - 17 May, 2020 - 02:30PM

Snickers - 17 May, 2020 - 09:19AM

I can tell you what not to say as an opening line.

‘Another fake profile! You must be one of those Eastern European girls’

Be yourself. Flirty. Honest.

I am from that area and my profile isnt fake

 2 members like this comment.

RightTimeToChange - 17 May, 2020 - 02:23PM

Just be yourself, that should be enough..

 1 member likes this comment.

1373861 - 17 May, 2020 - 02:18PM

As well as being shy, I have had my confidence knocked out of me. So trying to please a new women who thrives on a confident man, is going to be a daunting task. But I’ll I can be is what I am and hope patience is on offer.

851951 - 17 May, 2020 - 01:52PM

Just read your profile. It oozes I’ve got a dick pic to send you 😁

 4 members like this comment.

851951 - 17 May, 2020 - 01:50PM

Ok I take that back, if they ask nicely for one then that is ok. It’s the guys who just have cock pics in their gallery or you ask for a picture they immediately send you a cock pic. My reply always is...a face pic would be nice.

 1 member likes this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 17 May, 2020 - 01:46PM

ClassyLady77 - 17 May, 2020 - 12:15PM

Indeed … men on IE seem to think that because we are on this site, it is OK to ask those kind of questions from the start!

 5 members like this comment.

Teresa di Vicenzo - 17 May, 2020 - 01:25PM

I would say, have a good profile on here. Consider what you put about yourself and imagine your potential IE partner in crime reading it. So check your grammar, spelling and your choice of words.
At your first meet (whenever that might be ..), dress nicely, smell nice, Polish your shoes. Be friendly and very courteous. Offer to pay the bill. If she’s nice she’ll refuse and go halves, but never suggest she go halves. That’s a no-no. Walk her to her car, shake her hand, or if it’s gone ok, kiss her cheek. Tell her you’ll text later, and do so, telling her you enjoyed her company. Discuss the likelihood of a future meet.
One thing though is more important than all of that, DO NOT BE A TWAT. Thank me later 😊

 15 members like this comment.

CroydonCentaur - 17 May, 2020 - 01:20PM

But Teicu,

What if someone asks for one nicely?... 👀

851951 - 17 May, 2020 - 12:49PM

Oh and don’t send a dick pic.....ever!

 8 members like this comment.

ClassyLady77 - 17 May, 2020 - 12:15PM

Be a gentleman. Also talk to women as you would do, if you met them in a bar..

Would you go up to a random women and ask her what her favourite sex position is.. without even a hello 😂 🤦‍♀️

 10 members like this comment.

HotChoco - 17 May, 2020 - 12:08PM

Be a proper gentleman. Relax and be yourself.

Doesn’t need to have excellent flirting skills.

All you need to bring is : lots of sense-of-humour

Make her laugh and both of you will be at ease and comfortable. Talk about interesting stuff... Do not share your problems especially on the first date. She might feel the pressure what advise to give. Keep it cool.

Engage. Be attentive.


And off you go 😁

 2 members like this comment.

1272141 - 17 May, 2020 - 12:05PM

Yes its a different dialogue and interchange for arranging an affair. At times quite detailed and it can get a bit clinical.

As you say you will have to learn.

 2 members like this comment.

CroydonCentaur - 17 May, 2020 - 11:42AM

Sportster has it right:
Be confident,
and so does Cheekylady365,
This is NOT the site for everlasting love or romance etc
This is a forum for chemistry, fireworks, and a more basic instinct,
Make lots of eye contact, be interested in what your Illicit Encounter is saying, and be interesting.
Who are you both, why are you both special, and interesting.
Look Crisp, Smell great,
And, of course,
Be good in bed....

 2 members like this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 17 May, 2020 - 11:38AM

As has been said by others here, just be yourself … don't worry about fancy chat up lines or trying to be someone you are not … don't go changing your personality … you want someone who will like you just as you are.

All the best!

 2 members like this comment.

Someone To Love - 17 May, 2020 - 11:33AM

You can't force flirting, that has to come naturally

 2 members like this comment.

Sussanahversary - 17 May, 2020 - 11:29AM

Just be yourself! Seriously, that's all you can do, the right person comes along they will like you for you.

Some people are terrible at flirting, so don't even worry about that, just strike up a conversation and enjoy getting to know someone, if the person is right for you things will simply click into place, good luck!

jonsouth2020 - 17 May, 2020 - 11:13AM

Many women (and the ones I go for) prefer to be called a woman not a lady and certainly not girl.

 2 members like this comment.

Bugwithone - 17 May, 2020 - 10:01AM

With any skill you have neglected, you just have to relearn it! The best way is to get on with it and with each failure you gain knowledge of what not to do next time!
Even then, what some people find endearing, others will find annoying! So whatever you do, someone will think you are an idiot!
So my advise... be yourselves, then you can find out who you were never going to be compatible with from the very start! So allowing both parties to move to someone that they would be perfect for!

 1 member likes this comment.

1328172 - 17 May, 2020 - 09:40AM

Make sure your profile isn't generic and make sure it clearly states what you want ,so many timewasters on here who like the idea of an affair but not ok to go through with it. I'm done with talking!

 10 members like this comment.

1366769 - 17 May, 2020 - 09:32AM

Definitely be yourself, but also remember, this is not Im seeking for the love of my life site or someone to run into sunset together (although Im sure there are people on here that are after that). Majority of people on here are after that extra part that is missing in their life. Just be yourself and you might dont know what you are fully after, but if you know what you dont want, its a great start. Have fun!

 3 members like this comment.

1346339 - 17 May, 2020 - 09:19AM

I can tell you what not to say as an opening line.

‘Another fake profile! You must be one of those Eastern European girls’

Be yourself. Flirty. Honest.

 1 member likes this comment.

1117169 - 17 May, 2020 - 09:18AM


Just try to meet sooner rather than later doing something light and fun and try to relax.

 3 members like this comment.

1117169 - 17 May, 2020 - 09:16AM

Just be yourself, don't be judgemental, have an open mind, be positive, keep it light and fun to start with doing"Normal" things you both enjoy. Be patient.

Whilst you make take the initiative ( And most ladies want the man to do that) your lady will decide if its going further and will set the pace if it is going to get physical.

On the other hand, if your chosen lady is very upfront and forthright about what she wants and it suits you just go with the flow, but don't be a " Dormat" at her control.

 2 members like this comment.

realworld2 - 17 May, 2020 - 09:11AM

Genuine nice guy who prefers face to face conversation over endless messages. How do you get over that hurdle to show what I’m all about.

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