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Advice on sexy texts

Okay, where do I start? I’ve been seeing this man now for a little while, and we started going out on dates just before the country stood still! It was really going great, lots of good food and wine, conversation flowing, flirting, holding hands… I was so eager to see him again! And finally ready to take the next step and be intimate with each other, I cannot even begin to explain the levels of excitement and anticipation. And then WHAM, the virus takes over the world and we can’t meet up. It’s driving me literally insane, I’ve never wanted to see someone so desperately in my life before - it’s crazy. Especially since I was holding off on our first few dates, you know, to build up the suspense. The chemistry is undeniable and I cannot wait to see him again, but in the meantime, he’s been sending me some rather dirty messages, my only problem is, I don’t think I’m terribly good at this all sex text thing. Does anyone have any tips?

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Comments (78)

laugar164 - 29 Sep, 2023 - 04:49PM

Sexting for me only works once we have met and there a connection otherwise I might as well dial a 0845 number lol 😂

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FluffyClouds - 29 Sep, 2023 - 12:24AM

WillKr -

On the other hand, only sexting also becomes tedious and boring. And it has been noticed that that is all some people can do because they've actually not got anything of interest to talk about.

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Andrea Andrew - 28 Sep, 2023 - 08:41PM


I agree… sexting is what keeps the relationship going…::

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WillKr - 28 Sep, 2023 - 02:33PM

Really epic sex is much in the realm of the mind, actual tugging at gubbins is purely functional, so if the texting is great, then the rw sex may well be great too.

I mean a lot of us cannot meet-up that much, so sexting is a big part in these relationships, otherwise if you just want mostly non sexy chat, well u can have that with mates and family

I bore very quickly with small talk ‘hows your day / my daughter has a swimming gala / I went to The Grand Union canal today’, wake me up when you’re done

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Beckysharp - 28 Sep, 2023 - 11:37AM

How did the meet go Lioness?

Alexis162 - 28 Sep, 2023 - 10:29AM

Sexting keeps the fire burning 🔥 especially if you are far from each other it’s easy just text what you want to do with them sexually and they would tell you fantasies or something they would like to act out once you get together can be as dirty as you like 😘 mmmmm

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Purple dreamer - 28 Sep, 2023 - 10:10AM

I have never been very keen on text sex , come on you could be saying I'm getting hot and steamy and actually be ironing Similar to the what you wearing and you describe lace etc and actually in your old joggers slobbing but i guess it all helps with the imagination and keeping the tension going
Oh dear purple they are not going to be beating down your in box now lol

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The Lioness - 28 Sep, 2023 - 12:47AM

Only ever say what you want to say and what you enjoy being done to you. If you bring total filth to the table in the form of text when you are not total filth in reality then it's going to be obvious once you decide to take the plunge. For example yes my brains screams filth but my body confidence in reality doesn't quite measure up. I'm like two people in one. I have have had my body confidence knocked so I suppose that's what's holding the inner pornstar back 😂 Just do YOU. Im here to be ME, nothing more, nothing less and I rate myself a pretty cool human. If I'm not someone's cup of tea fair play. Of the age imnot gonna cry tears over someone that can see past the lumpy bumpy bits under the fabric. Good luck and I'm happy you have found someone that makes you feel that rush 😘

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TheBoredHousewife - 27 Sep, 2023 - 08:41PM

Paula99 - 27 Sep, 2023 - 04:43PM

Those copy and paste ones go immediately into Delete.

Bardxx - 27 Sep, 2023 - 07:28PM

I have never indulged in sexting so don't know if it would get the juices flowing, so to speak. However, I think I might feel a bit daft. Any tips would be appreciated 🤪

Fireworks999 - 27 Sep, 2023 - 06:48PM

I hate sexting personally

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ExoticOrchid - 27 Sep, 2023 - 05:13PM

P99 - 04:43PM

Hear Hear! 👏

Paula99 - 27 Sep, 2023 - 04:43PM

For all you aspiring Sexters..

It’s very easy to copy and paste sext and if it isn’t done with imagination and skill I am afraid it just makes me want to vomit..
It’s not for everyone so don’t assume that all women like it ..

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danisforlife - 27 Sep, 2023 - 03:11PM

I'd advise being who you are and saying what you're confortable with. If you want to engage in this then think what you would like to do with him, to him or / and him on you in your mind. If that turns you on it will turn him on so just describe it in detail... Slowly! Never be afraid to be yourself! Good luck!

Swindonfuntime - 26 Sep, 2023 - 05:33PM

Just be natural, be yourself and go for it

ExoticOrchid - 26 Sep, 2023 - 02:53PM

C7423 ... what Sandypops (01:55AM) said. 👍

Legs&Eyes - 26 Sep, 2023 - 10:28AM

Agree with all Sandypops says...

Harms no-one, can be a huge turn on and make the actual meets red-hot... and if the playing is going to happen solo then why not do it in tandom with a sexy caller/texter... you both enjoy and then move on..
For me a lot of this lies in fantasy-world anyway, the hotel meets, the secrecy and lies, the heels and stockings... a lot happens in the mind so a sexting chat can be red hot....

Sandypops - 26 Sep, 2023 - 02:17AM

Everyone's points are valid. Surely none of us here are in a position to judge anyone else.
But if you're not comfortable with it, you have to say. Don't be bullied into doing something you don't feel comfortable with. Be true to yourself, always.

If you get turned on by receiving sexy texts, explore it.

Personally I love a good sexting session. Or 'phone sex. Beats playing solo any day of the week. If that makes me no better than a sex-line worker, so be it. It's crossed my mind I could do that as a career 🤣

And, if you want to explore sexting, just imagine what
you'd be doing when you get intimate together. Set the scene, imagine what your senses are picking up on, and get typing. If you're sexting with someone who is of a similar mindset, you'll bounce off each others messages in no time 😉

Most importantly, have fun and enjoy it.

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Sandypops - 26 Sep, 2023 - 01:55AM

Never try and be the person you think someone wants you to be .... always be yourself and be true to yourself. Then you'll find someone who appreciate you for you.

Dotty Green - 25 Sep, 2023 - 12:31PM

I guess this post is hardly relevant now, as we are back to normality.

Not everyone is up for sexy texting and I feel for me I need to know someone well and have met them IRL I do not like over familiar texts with someone I barely know.

If you know them well and there is a connection it will all come naturally.

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Craig7423 - 25 Sep, 2023 - 08:44AM

I have been married for too many years and I have not got a clue where or when to start sexy chats, it’s not just the content it’s the timing as well imho. There should be an online class on how not to be a creep but still come across as willing to make her feel desired and sexy but not desperate and pervy.
Apart from trusting your gut feelings I feel vulnerable in this new world, slightly afraid that I will put off my perfect match by trying too hard to be somebody I think they want rather than the person I am
Yes we all want a physical relationship and that could be holding hands or a full blown affair but I guess it’s just a case of laying yourself open to other peoples criticisms and go for it.

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mipaulac - 24 Sep, 2023 - 10:57PM

Doesn't this post make the situation clear " I’ve been seeing this man now for a little while, and we started going out on dates just before the country stood still! It was really going great" The I'm not having sexual interaction for no payment in kind brigade saying this is a blind contact haven't met senario.

Paul1769 - 24 Sep, 2023 - 09:46PM

I’m lost here, not getting together finished ages ago………have you asked yourself why you’re not meeting?

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DefinitelyMightBe - 24 Sep, 2023 - 08:00AM

I’d be up front with him - tell him it’s not for you until you’ve actually met (hope you have now btw!), if he’s as interested in you as you clearly are of him, if like to think he’d respect that and not send you anything like that again until you’ve met.

Beckysharp - 24 Sep, 2023 - 07:40AM

I agree with you Eliza Boo. In an established affair it’s nice to make each other horny/cum virtually (although I don’t want to do it that often).

But helping a stranger wank is very interactive porn isn’t it. I once asked a guy on here who sent me one of those ‘help me cum’ type messages out of the blue if anyone ever replies. He said he was currently chatting to about 4 women all sending him photos for him to wank over. I bet he was using fake pics of himself too!

Petruchio911 - 24 Sep, 2023 - 12:57AM

Paula 99

"Big Jugs Monthly"?

Are we off to the Octobetfest now then....the Dungeon trip didnt pan out as NINW dropped the keys to the coach down her cleavage. A scrum ensued as the boys tried to retrieve them and they went in the canal.

P911 make mine a stein

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Naughty in NW - 23 Sep, 2023 - 10:47PM


I am saying her comments are ok and her opinions and MO are to be respected as anyone else's. Each to their own. What's NOT ok in my view is intolerant comments like yours.

I don't disagree with you, plenty of people of both genders get off in sexting and why the hell not? You do you.

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logicboy - 23 Sep, 2023 - 10:33PM


Good point... 😜 Maybe just some rugby related innuendo / double entendre...

"hey babe, I know Ireland beat south africa 13 - 8 but I'd still love to turn you over and scrummage...."

mipaulac - 23 Sep, 2023 - 10:08PM

Naughty in NW
Are your inferring Eliza Boo's disparaging comments are ok?
Plenty of women love wanking themselves during a naughty chat.

Naughty in NW - 23 Sep, 2023 - 06:51PM


........continued. Sorry. I peaked too early, lol. That should say let's mot make assumptions/judgements regarding each others preferences.😁

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Naughty in NW - 23 Sep, 2023 - 06:45PM


Your comment to Eliza Boo is a bit uncalled for. Yes, the OP had already met, but let's not make assumptions/judgements regarding

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TheBoredHousewife - 23 Sep, 2023 - 05:20PM

What if your sexy potential IE is South African? 🇿🇦

logicboy - 23 Sep, 2023 - 03:47PM

I'd suggest msging about the Ireland vs south africa rugby match... Be really suggestive like "babe, I think Ireland are going to win..." 🇮🇪🤞😇

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mipaulac - 23 Sep, 2023 - 03:20PM

Eliza Boo - 23 Sep, 2023 - 01:43PM

You haven't read the question they've met !
Evidently your rather inhibited and uptight talking about sex

Eliza Boo - 23 Sep, 2023 - 01:43PM

It's basically interactive porn isn't it? It's a sex service you're performing for some stranger to get his rocks off, on-line. Take my advice and wait til after you've met in the flesh and you've actually assessed if there is any physical attraction & chemistry. Otherwise you could be mortified at what you've been sexting with!

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TheBoredHousewife - 23 Sep, 2023 - 12:02PM

Paula99 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 11:34AM

I’ll agree with EO too.

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Paula99 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 11:34AM

I’ll go with Exotic O …

All talk no action 😁

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Boudicca - 23 Sep, 2023 - 10:59AM

To sexy text or not really does come down to your communication style and how you process written information.
Therefore to engage in responding to sexy texts authentically, you would have to feel aroused by receiving sexy texts.
If you are aroused by written word, it’ll be easy to respond in kind.
If you aren’t aroused by written word, explore what does arouse you and encourage that.

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Cheesypuff - 06 Feb, 2023 - 12:41AM

Was it worth waiting for?

ExoticOrchid - 20 Aug, 2022 - 06:50PM

In my experience, those that talk the talk are those that cannot walk the walk so to speak! 🙄

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FluffyClouds - 20 Aug, 2022 - 06:44PM

If I haven't met you, I'm not sexting you. Innuendos like P99 says is fine up until then. It's different once you've met and are actually attracted in the flesh.

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Paula99 - 20 Aug, 2022 - 06:11PM

Not a fan of this...I don't mind a few innuendo and wot not....keep in cleanish....
Don't copy and paste Big Jugs monthly?...some of you won't remember the 'top shelf' in the newsagents...its the same thing you read online nowadays..🤣🤣🤣
The way I look at it is....yes we can all type it but can we do it exactly as stated.....NO..☹️

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WaitingtobeFound - 20 Aug, 2022 - 04:47PM

Lots of online hints for naughty /flirty texts!

mipaulac - 22 Jul, 2022 - 12:28AM

He's just increasing the intimacy think of it like a conversation you have prior and during sex pehaps to get you mastabating in anticipation

Sexy Senorita xo - 16 Jul, 2022 - 09:26PM

Always depends on what you feel comfortable with. For anyone in a similar position & is unsure/uncomfortable with sexting, I'd speak up & say so. It's not for everyone & there's nothing wrong with that. Love sexting my IE, but we're both dirty minded & on a similar wavelength. Plus, I enjoy the not knowing what his next sext will say or show!

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1383202 - 01 Jul, 2020 - 09:19PM

Just like to say that we are adults and some behave like children just saying.

Kiki75 - 28 Jun, 2020 - 11:25PM

In my experience it’s about really connecting with your own desire rather than simply telling him what you think he wants to hear. Authenticity is the key. You say you are incredibly excited about seeing him. You must have imagined what will happen when you do 😉. Talk him through it, including details that make the situation arousing clothing/environment/touch/smell. Go for it. I’m sure he will love it. X

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1382044 - 09 May, 2020 - 09:45AM

Lots on line about sext texting, Bad Girls' Bible is good, though apparently a guy will be turned on by a text which we ladies would not have thought to be erotic.

Know how you feel though, we had just got things going nicely after the Christmas break (we met shortly before the holiday) and then my IE went down with the dreaded corona. A Very worrying time..

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Delphina - 17 Apr, 2020 - 04:02PM

Ooh dear I feel you, this Corona is soo terible, I hv been in similar situation, the only thing you can do is go along with sexting, phone calls as well is good or even video calls
Hang in there babes
All the best

 5 members like this comment.

SAYSomething x - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:59PM

open_alternative - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:55PM

Not everyone's in the same boat captain! I'm still intimate with mine, albeit rarely. Everyone's home life is their perogative, and IE life the same!

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Tailormade80 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:57PM

When you engage with the sexting thing......invariably the extent to which you take it can be a turn off or a turn on.......try being soft for starters.....nothing too heavy!....just a little risque!

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Golden Brown446 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:56PM

Yes, use your imagination or find an erotic book, think about what you like and what you like from him, we men are quite simple you know... Or so you've been telling us 😊

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open_alternative - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:55PM

feeling frisky ….
photoshoot for the hubby?

if my other half sent me a nudey picture my reply would be ' was that meant for me?' and most hubbies on here would be a trifle suspicious !!

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Mews0001 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:45PM


Blimey, I didn't expect to e attacked over my comment!
Obviously no-one would just open up a video chat with careful arranging. That would be patently stupid and I credit ALL the people on this site with way much more intelligence than to do that.

Agreed folks?

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Lustandpassion - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:40PM

Be open minded and perhaps allow him to lead and show you the way

SAYSomething x - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:37PM

Maybe video chats are a little tricky, not completely impossible! But sexy photos - that's not that hard, and if you get caught you can say you were doing a photoshoot for the hubby :'D kill two birds

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ExoticOrchid - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:31PM

Mews0001 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:03PM
Great suggestion … not!
Unless this lady lives alone … even then, the chap might have family around him … great way to get caught and end up at the divorce court!!!

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Mews0001 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:29PM

Agreed, but it was a general comment. It depends on individual circumstances.
But, where there's a will...……….

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Michael Nuria - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:22PM

Well lucky you Looks like you will have to wait a while to meet up again

851951 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:15PM

Hmm cam sex and dirty video chats with the family behind in the background. I doubt very many of us can get away with that!

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MordenRomeo - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:15PM

You don't need words... Just keep in hot with some of your sexy pics... And don't show everything, just hide enough for him to run his imagination. This will drive him crazy

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851951 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:13PM

If you are happy to sext then go girl, google how to sext, then sext, sext, sext. Confidence is a trick my friend. Let him take the lead and just go with your thoughts and desires

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andyluvslegs - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:10PM

Once you get started, you will soon find out what excites you both - can only lead to even bigger fireworks when you eventually meet! Very liberating !

THehacker - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:10PM

You obviously have some erotic thoughts, just go with the flow you will surprise yourself. It is mostly fantasy and could enhance your desire to meet up.

Tailormade80 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:08PM

The wait heightens the anticipation level.........it will be so much better when you eventually do meet..........patience will reap rewards!

ExoticOrchid - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:07PM

open_alternative - 17 Apr, 2020 - 02:26PM
" i think most people would hope you weren't E L James , heaven forbid any more of that series please"

Agree … but then she's the one laughing all the way to the bank!!!

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THehacker - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:06PM

If you have some erotic thoughts jus

Mews0001 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 03:03PM

Come on people. Why so coy?
Suggest to him that a video chat would be good to break the ice. Keep your clothes on first time, then build it up to who knows what.
It could just be a tease, or full blown cam sex. That's a decision for the both of you.

1037472 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 02:59PM

I agree with the need to explain that you feel uncomfortable if the guy is pretty decent guy and keen he will get that you struggle at this point. If he does not get it, them is he the right guy emotionally for you?

1272141 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 02:51PM

Dear virgin sex texter. You must take the necessary precautions with such things. Wrap your phone in a standard condom and tie a knot to secure it in place.

Next proceed to within earshot of fire stations army barracks and ships in port. In effect bastions of macho collectives. Where upon you will absorb and delight in talk of the most salacious and obscene kind. Learn these and reproduce in the most genteel and ladylike voice and you will become a sexual delight, and quite possibly an internet sensation.

 6 members like this comment.

1363644 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 02:49PM

Lose your inhibitions and forget trying to be clever.
Everyone has fantasies.. for years usually. Close your eyes and let your mind wander. Let'em out! Shyness is for pussies! LOL
Christ people.. take a chance! Rock the damn boat! It's your time.. your life.
Don't waste it on staying hidden. Ask him what he wants to do with you. Emphasis on with! Then tell him what's right and what's a turn off. It will flow.... then so will you! :-)

 5 members like this comment.

Lisa46 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 02:42PM

You can always add a emoji or look for a sexy giff

open_alternative - 17 Apr, 2020 - 02:26PM

agree with frisky and love to please ..

you dont have to be ELJames to indulge in a bit of flirty text and an mmmm! will go a long way !
Let the guy know you haven't done much so he doesn't overwhelm you and see where you go .. as frisky says it can be most enjoyable .

Actually .. i think most people would hope you weren't E L James , heaven forbid any more of that series please

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SAYSomething x - 17 Apr, 2020 - 02:04PM

On a serious note, I agree with love to please - be open and honest, and it will come naturally. Just add a little ahhh and a mmmm to your replies haha. Anyway, sex talk doesn't need to actually be dirty, you can start off tame, then work your way up to the naughty stuff.

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SAYSomething x - 17 Apr, 2020 - 02:02PM

Are you kidding me? Sex texts are the best. Ha, wait till you get one when you're least expecting it, you'll have to behave like nothing untoward just happened :'D

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tender_rock - 17 Apr, 2020 - 01:51PM

Tips! There is only one tip... Keep it clean ;)

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1371603 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 11:20AM

The best advice I can think of with 'the sex thing' is open your heart and feelings. Once you do that things will flow for you. Stop worrying about your how you are doing and just enjoy the feelings

 1 member likes this comment.

1343636 - 17 Apr, 2020 - 11:16AM

Be honest. Explain that you're uncomfortable with sex texts and would rather wait for the real thing.

If he doesn't like the thought of that, he's hardly going anywhere, is he!?

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