CASESTUDY: Helen, Leeds

I met my husband at university. He had a brain tumour and couldn't have sex because of his medication. Naively I thought I was being a good person or that it would get better with time. We had been married 6 years when I joined IE. I didn't have a plan in mind or any idea really what I was doing but by this point I was worn down by the lack of intimacy. My self-esteem had fallen through the floor and I thought there was something wrong with me. At first on IE I was scared that if men said I was unattractive it would validate how I felt. I got a message from my now fiancé. He was easy to talk to and had similar issues in his marriage.

After a month we met. We didn't talk about leaving our partners however as our home relationships continued to decline - possibly because we now put less effort in, we did decide to be together. Since then we have moved in together and got engaged at New Year! I've never been so happy. I still struggle to accept his compliments as my past experience still leaves me doubting myself but I now feel part of a team rather than being so lonely, lost and hurt in my marriage.

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