RealAffair

About Me:

I am 4 feet tall (I might be 5'10"), with two heads for extra brains and bulging muscles all over. I have short grey hair on both heads. The photo is recent. As you'll readily appreciate, my friends are not exaggerating when they say I look 30 years younger than I really am.
My lovers have told me I have a very nice bum. The best way to appreciate this is to run your hands over it whilst kissing me passionately.

I can run like the wind, whilst proving the Reimann Conjecture in my head. (Unpublished proof😄)

Clearly I am a very modest, sigma male, intelligent, educated, very good looking and you will probably fall in love with me as soon as we meet.

I may actually be god's gift to women.
(How can this be when I'm an Atheist? Clearly one of us is wrong!)
I am so interesting and funny that insomniac women seek me out with a view to taking me straight to bed. They know that just a few minutes of my wit and conversation will bring them the sleep they so desperately want. Obviously even when they're asleep I keep droning on with my interesting tales as I am used to talking to myself.
I will give you attention and be interested in you, otherwise what is the point?

Humour is important to me, I like to find it in everything, even when I'm being serious.
My favourite evening out is a comedy club.

This is not my first affair. Let me know if it's yours?

I'm kept busy with work during the day, so evenings/overnights only.
I really like overnights, a more relaxed sexual experience.
There's no chance of weekends for me.

Some explanation about location
I work in London visiting fairly frequently but I do not live there.
I also travel in the UK & abroad for work. This has helped me with keeping affairs discreet at home.

Ideal Partner:

Sorry to be negative on the 1st line, however it's not going to work for me if you smoke. One of my few deal breakers.😕


I want to meet a woman for a classical, romantic but very physical affair. Not a penpal or erotic pictures collector.
Realistically, we're probably going to have to meet somewhere in London. Particularly at the beginning.

Yes, I'll actually want to know who you are, I want to like you and I want you to like me. That elusive chemistry so often mentioned.
I am not looking to change your life or you mine. I just want to borrow you for some mutual pleasure and good times
It works better for me with an exclusive arrangement, longer term. I think it works better the more you know someone.
However one step at a time, let's just meet first and take it from there.

I can tell you I'm NOT looking for a sugar mummy nor am I expecting expensive presents. So if you're planning to buy my affections with yachts and aeroplanes, please feel free to give it it a try but it probably isn't going to work.

I will always read your whole profile. If you used the IE tool to compose your profile , what was the point of that?
However this is purely academic as you're probably too lazy or inarticulate for me if you did.

PS If you're asking for someone "without baggage" or similar, just take a moment to think that one out.
You grew up with none perfect parents (unless you're an actual God?), have had one or more relationships with a none perfect person (or else you wouldn't be here) therefore how have you managed to get through all that without acquiring baggage?
If you are someone who is over 18 and thinks they don't have baggage then you are seriously deluded!
Everyone has baggage, it's how you handle it that's the trick.

If you didn't find any of the humour in here then I'd think that it isn't going to work between us.

Other Interests:

Arts / Crafts, Museums / Galleries, Music - Classical / Opera, Music - Blues/Jazz, Literature / History, Football / Soccer / Rugby, Theatre / Ballet, Travel / Sightseeing, Cooking

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