Bodies & Age
Do you believe men have unrealistic expectations on what a woman should look like beyond the age of 45 in terms of of body when naked?
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Comments (281)
1625197 - 26 Sep, 2023 - 06:10PM
Perhaps some do, but I think being overly focused on your partner's physical appearance (naked or otherwise) is a sign of immaturity, so be greatful they are showing you who they are early I guess!
I prefer to worry about looking as good as I can for them, and just be happy they want to spend the time of day with me!
Craig7423 - 24 Sep, 2023 - 09:32AM
Everyone has their own thoughts on this and that’s why we all choose different people, personally I am not turned on by a muscular ladies it doesn’t float my boat but give me a natural woman with some curves I am happy. Why? Because I want someone to be happy in their own skin as I am slightly flawed so I feel that I would be accepted more readily by someone with bumps too.
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Beccak - 23 Sep, 2023 - 09:24AM
I will admit I do expect a potential affair to be fit and fairly muscular, I am simply not excited by an average body or a thin body.
I would burst out laughing if Malcolm from accounts was trying to be masculine, or Peter the cyclist with all the prowess of an ironing board.
Sorry guys but you got to hit the weights/ pressups, a far better use of your time than sending me message about how kind you are
Boudicca - 22 Sep, 2023 - 05:52PM
I have found that men are more realistic and accepting of older women’s bodies than women themselves are.
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1623593 - 22 Sep, 2023 - 04:26PM
I don't think men see the way a woman sees herself, so are the assumed expectations coming from the men or the women?
SecretSt - 22 Sep, 2023 - 02:40PM
Fear not ladies, we boys get older too, and with that our perception and appreciation of beautiful women changes accordingly.
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Beckysharp - 22 Sep, 2023 - 07:01AM
A couple of people have told me that the gym reference in my profile could be intimidating and put some guys off messaging me @johnhenry. I considered taking it out when I was looking but I’m so into the gym that I didn’t in the end (maybe I am a self obsessed narcissist!!)
In terms of what I look for, both my current and previous lover are in decent shape but not ‘gym fit’ and no 6 packs. But my type would probably be the same no matter how fit/unfit I am. No idea 🤷♀️
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JohnHenry - 21 Sep, 2023 - 11:21PM
…….but supposing you stumble across someone who is in good shape. Do you feel intimidated? Is it a ‘red flag’ sign of self obsession/narcissism ? Conversely, does being overweight suggest hedonism, lazy or something else? And finally - is a body type indicative of a particular personality bias?……My experience suggests (in general) ‘fit’ ladies want ‘fit’ men.
JayJames70 - 21 Sep, 2023 - 08:58PM
I can’t speak for other men but I’m certainly not unrealistic on how the ladies in my age range should be like.
Everyone is different and to be honest I would accept my IE partner for however she is because not one of us (especially not me) are perfect are we?
I think it’s important to accept and respect someone however they are - as long as there is an attraction and chemistry the rest is just part of the overall package.
Maybe it’s just because I like to see the positive in most things and see beauty as not just surface deep 🤷🏼♂️😘
Paula99 - 21 Sep, 2023 - 08:46PM
The Enigma…
It does seem that you have chosen the wrong name 😂
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andyluvslegs - 21 Sep, 2023 - 02:49PM
If they do, then probably not worth getting to know!
Facial attraction, similar values & personality chemistry are my expectations for a wonderful relationship x
TheEnigma - 21 Sep, 2023 - 12:13PM
Firstly let me make a distinction. I am not the chap you all seem to be angry at.
I’m “TheEnigma” rather than “Enigma”. Oh dear this may work out very badly for me. 😅
Anyway. I don’t think men are generally unrealistic on this site. In fact most men here love nothing more than to blow compliments in every direction whether they mean it or not, to see what sticks. That is the dating marketplace generally in a nutshell as I understand it. I’m certainly not unrealistic. A dazzling woman is a package of things each holding a certain weighting but none of them absolutes, in my view.
It’s also probably true to say that women are far more selective on the basis of body composition as well as height, age, race, socio-economic status and more. You need only read a few men’s profiles vs women’s profiles to see the difference.
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Johno4040 - 20 Sep, 2023 - 07:35PM
As a man in my early 50s i know my bodies not perfect so i don't have unrealistic expectations on anyone else's. Where all getting older
ExoticOrchid - 20 Sep, 2023 - 05:53PM
P99 - 04:20PM
Especially creeps who can't handle rejection and then go round telling tales in the hope of earning a few brownie points ... the worst kind of man ... a sneaky snake (sorry, that's an insult to snakes actuslly!!!)
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Paula99 - 20 Sep, 2023 - 04:20PM
Whatever is going on here …it’s not nice to implicate a third party ….if you have an axe to grind then just block 🤔
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ExoticOrchid - 20 Sep, 2023 - 10:36AM
Enigma..
Looks like there's a nasty snake here who is making trouble as revenge for being turned down!!!
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Petruchio911 - 19 Sep, 2023 - 11:47PM
Beckysharp
Spa hot tubbing......luxury
We never had hot tubs when we were growing up....we had to make do with a dip in the Cut (canal for those south of Watford) every other week
P911
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Falmouth - 19 Sep, 2023 - 10:00PM
My search start age is set to 45yrs...its the perfect age mind and body.
1620668 - 19 Sep, 2023 - 06:36PM
for what its worth Enigma, im not that female either, that my not be truthful x
Let'sjusthavefun - 19 Sep, 2023 - 06:12PM
As a male I have no expectations on how a woman should look dressed or undressed, if the attraction is there mentally and physically who cares as long as you are happy
Anton555 - 19 Sep, 2023 - 05:15PM
Yes a lot of men do or they did, I did myself expect woman to have a gorgeous figure at 50 y/o even though they have had three children and breast fed them but as I have aged and now I do see they beauty in a woman of my age and older, I like a real woman who is bigger than the next woman if she likes the way she looks and is not shy I will like her my self who am I to tell her what she should look like when I am very far from perfect myself, ladies be proud of your body and if he does'nt like it tell him to go away {you know how} and I am sure there is a man not far from you who would appreciate you and how you look
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ExoticOrchid - 19 Sep, 2023 - 05:12PM
Enigma.. - 01:09PM
Indeed not this female either! ☺️
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The Lioness - 19 Sep, 2023 - 03:18PM
I spent so long worrying about what a look like under my clothes I started losing sight of who I was. Now I DONT CARE what men think. I am me. Yes there has to be initial attraction it's human nature, that animal instinct. Think men get a rough deal too though. If ya don't like my jiggly bits jog on, simple. I'm certainly not going cry over it 😊
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Jay122 - 19 Sep, 2023 - 02:46PM
It used to be models in adverts, magazines and on TV that gave unrealistic expectations of females, now it’s online filtered images and of course AI generated images which just create subliminal expectations of perfection. I do think this has now become a problem for both / all genders, however I must say there are so many different things that can be attractive in a persons body and mind that I didn’t appreciate 20 years ago. Still learning and growing 😁
Dotty Green - 19 Sep, 2023 - 02:22PM
Enigma.. - 19 Sep, 2023 - 01:09PM
??? why do you say that. Not upset this female. Can't speak for others male or female
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Paula99 - 19 Sep, 2023 - 02:19PM
Enigma…
You haven’t done anything wrong or angered anyone as far as I know …😁
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shaved_dave - 19 Sep, 2023 - 02:03PM
I am 27 and I like body of older women. Don't ask why... I just do...
I think we can't please everyone and not everyone can please us... I decide to move on from women who don't like me... I was not before... I chase after before. Now I have realized we Wil eventually meet someone that is right.
Beauty is temporary... And I am gonna be pile of bones in less than 100 years... Live in the moment... Be kind and be decent person... That's what I have learnt
1623921 - 19 Sep, 2023 - 01:56PM
Sadly some men do have unrealistic expectations but they’re the ones not bothering with or getting to know. Most men are like me, we look for a lovely smile and good conversation and enjoy the moment.
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Enigma.. - 19 Sep, 2023 - 01:09PM
Question….
Have I upset, angered, annoyed anyone, especially any females, on this forum.
Yes…this is actually a genuine question?
Beckysharp - 19 Sep, 2023 - 12:50PM
You don’t need to be a naturist Kevin! Anyone who has ever been to a beach or swimming pool knows the range of bodies of all age groups! I doubt anyone on earth expects the average 50 year old to look identical to the average 20 year old.
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Iamnotkevin - 19 Sep, 2023 - 12:09PM
it depends I suppose.
I think many younger men may be fairly unaware of how ageing affects women's bodies - and men too - probably because the only older women they usually see which they may fancy are those in movies or on TV who have had extensive work done to keep them looking more youthful than their years.
Older men though will have experienced first hand that they and the ladies in their life have changed over time and wont be so bothered by it...
Personally I have been a naturist since I was in my 20's so was never under any illusion about how women look naked as they age.
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laugar164 - 14 Sep, 2023 - 11:42AM
Big that message will have them flocking to you in the thousands
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Raatan Kaliyan - 13 Sep, 2023 - 11:55PM
Do you believe women have unrealistic expectations on what a man should look like beyond the age of 45 in terms of body when naked?
No one is the same. Everyone is different. Nothing is permanent.
If people can accept this, then there is no discussion required.
Mister.E.Mann - 12 Sep, 2023 - 11:04PM
WillKr
Maybe I'm of an age where the most attractive part of a woman is between her ears, not between her arms or legs. Maybe I haven't met enough over 45s.
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Andrea Andrew - 12 Sep, 2023 - 10:37PM
WillKr
I agree in terms of looks, but also personality are important!
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WillKr - 12 Sep, 2023 - 06:54PM
MisterEman
Loads of womens man- menus are along the lines’ ‘yes I know it’s shallow, but I’m taking a risk wanting an affair so there has to be attraction, I like rugged guys, no bellies I’m afraid, full head of hair and preferably tall, twinkling eyed and great teeth get my attention’
Simping n telling women how looks arent all that important is just not going to win the day
1 member likes this comment.
Mister.E.Mann - 11 Sep, 2023 - 11:43PM
I must confess to not knowing what "most men" expect in women over 45. However, I think that they should look at themselves, too. I'm sure most women will have a more realistic expectation of the bodies of men over 45 (but hope for better)! I, for one, am looking at a slightly older age group and have no expectations at all. I think women worry more about their look and their bodies but I'd be happy with someone who was prepared to walk around the house/room completely naked without worrying about the inevitable "wobbly bits". In the end, it's what's inside that's attractive. That's not to say that I don't have preferences but I wouldn't expect to find a middle aged mother looking like a teenage model with boobs under her chin and a boy's bum! However, my experience in these matters is very limited (hence joining IE).
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Beckysharp - 10 Sep, 2023 - 09:27AM
Andrea if someone blocks us it’s best to take the hint! But make sure you block them too so they can’t unblock and message you in the future (almost inevitable 🙄). Delete them and move on to better things ☺️
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Andrea Andrew - 10 Sep, 2023 - 09:08AM
?
All I will say is, Will you seem a decent guy on the forums but remember not to ignore those who care about you, don’t block them
ExoticOrchid - 09 Sep, 2023 - 06:29PM
Hmm ... WKr/AA ... me, myself and I ... 🤣
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TheBoredHousewife - 09 Sep, 2023 - 03:03PM
Andrea Andrew - 09 Sep, 2023 - 02:23PM
Don’t make the rest of us middle aged women envious now 👠💃
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TheBoredHousewife - 09 Sep, 2023 - 02:45PM
Waiting for a Chezley / Karen moment…… 😎
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Andrea Andrew - 09 Sep, 2023 - 02:23PM
I agree Will… delicate girly shoes and ankle bracelet are so cute…… a little dress to add as well!
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TheBoredHousewife - 09 Sep, 2023 - 02:17PM
FluffyClouds - 09 Sep, 2023 - 02:05PM
Paper bags might well become the latest kinkcessory!!
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FluffyClouds - 09 Sep, 2023 - 02:07PM
I'm sure you do Conradd...sorry Willkr...got a little confused there for a second
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FluffyClouds - 09 Sep, 2023 - 02:05PM
There's having a great body but not having the face to match. Paper bag time? Could that be classed as kinky? I need a nice face to look at over a great body.
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WillKr - 09 Sep, 2023 - 01:51PM
My most ardent non negotiable is big feet, I can’t dress a kangaroo foot in delicate girly shoes and ankle bracelet
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Beckysharp - 09 Sep, 2023 - 01:21PM
A young body? Imho any age can have a nicely toned body (if we work on it 😅)
Awww Andrea… plenty more fish in the sea!
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Andrea Andrew - 09 Sep, 2023 - 12:08PM
I still agree with the idea of young bods….however……
Will you need to appreciate you have huge potential to break hearts, you should take relationships as seriously as your women do
Beckysharp - 09 Sep, 2023 - 11:53AM
Is it looking young or just looking good for x age? I’ve never thought anyone looks significantly younger than they are. But obviously some people are in great shape whatever their age. Especially at gyms ime- very motivating!
I like a guy that is fit and looks good, but also is comfortable in his own skin
Smiler91863 - 09 Sep, 2023 - 11:11AM
An active mind and body confidence is more important than body shape and weight. I’d go for a comfortable happy woman over an angry at the world model type all day long.
Andrea Andrew - 09 Sep, 2023 - 09:13AM
Wow Will that sounds so arousing…..i so agree with you, it is realistic, i met someone here who really loves my new young bod….. i do miss him!
WillKr - 09 Sep, 2023 - 08:19AM
I’m one who likes women to have young bods and it’s definitely realistic
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Alexis162 - 08 Sep, 2023 - 05:40PM
Some men think women should still be looking like a 25 year old after you have been through Child birth and all the sudden stress that follows 😂 of course they would as they are more visual
JohnHenry - 07 Sep, 2023 - 04:59PM
If I follow the logic, it seems beerbellys have no right to be choosy, however gym fit = set the bar high???
Elemental_nature - 07 Sep, 2023 - 01:40PM
Quite possibly yes, but I find more mature women far more interesting. I’m interested in their minds and the adventures their bodies have had. Experience counts for a lot. Be comfortable with who you are and sod those with unrealistic expectations. After all, most men, and I include myself, hardly have the body of an adonis.
boav91 - 07 Sep, 2023 - 11:35AM
All I know is that when I look in the mirror I am not my 18 year old self any more. Despite efforts the enjoyment of life mens that often wins a little more over than the perfect figure.
I think as you get older good enough and different lenses always help. Rose and a shade of green work well for me ;)
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Petruchio911 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 10:30PM
Paula 99
Yes the bedpan is full and my dressing needs changing.
P911 it will never get well if you pick it
Petruchio911 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 10:20PM
I dont think my amazon prime account extends to ordering a woman.
Will have to stick to ukranian/thai brides.
P911 self checkout
1616715 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 09:39PM
No. Do women have unrealistic expectations of what a man's body should look like after 45?
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Beckysharp - 05 Sep, 2023 - 07:16PM
Ha ha I meant OLD as in online dating. I wasn’t referring to you as old Petruchio 😂😂
Paula99 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 05:51PM
Did anyone call for the NURSE?
I was removing a lightbulb 💡 😂😂😂
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Paula99 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 05:43PM
Hold on to your love handles 😁
Unfortunately…sites like these tend to make it easy to ‘have what you want ‘but in reality we all know it’s not possible..,..online dating is a bi product of the ‘i pad’ age…let’s ‘order’ our perfect man/woman and let’s hope they come in perfect packaging..
Free shipping and returns the same day if we are not satisfied with the product…sadly no money back/Survey?
Wrong guy/woman
Not tall enough
Too fat/skinny
Too old /young
No personality
Not enough hair
Not local enough
Quasi Modo/ugly Betty
obsessed with their jobs
Catfished
Not my type
…we just need a some escape/sex/ compromise …do you see that in the list of entitlements?
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Petruchio911 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 05:43PM
Thanks young beckysharp.
Now where did i leave my zimmer?
NURSE !!!!!!!!
Petruchio911 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 05:43PM
Thanks young beckysharp.
Now where did i leave my zimmer?
NURSE !!!!!!!!
1 member likes this comment.
tarnished knight - 05 Sep, 2023 - 03:54PM
I have always found the spark and electricity between a partner (or indeed just someone I have flirted with) the thing I go for.
We all have lumps, bumps and lines or grey hair which tells the tale of our lives or indeed genes. But if you haven't got that spark, it's all for nought.
Beckysharp - 05 Sep, 2023 - 03:06PM
Having sat through ‘swiping’ with single friends I think the quality of 40 plus men is better on here than standard OLD Petruchio! Married men will always struggle on apps, unless they are pretending to be single. Which brings a whole load of issues for them…
Petruchio911 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 01:45PM
‘sorry guys no dad bods, skinny or fat guys, I know this sounds shallow but I wont settle’
to which you respond
Im sorry i fail to meet your exeptionally narrow criteria. Best of luck finding your 6ft tall, toned alpha alpha male on here........hes probably on tinder scrolling through reams of blonde 20 somethings with plastic tits and lip fillers ...enjoy
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WillKr - 05 Sep, 2023 - 01:21PM
Doublesohseven
When on beaches in Greece and Italy there’s a very stark contrast between how British and Latin middle aged women look and behave, as a GENERAL rule.
Latin women tend to be much mire active, playing ball, swimming etc. They nibble on whole foods and oilive oil.
Now contrast to British women with fist fulls of Lays and sausage who barely move all day
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WillKr - 05 Sep, 2023 - 01:15PM
Women invaded request men are fairly tall with full head of hair, so this cuts both ways
A VERY common demand is ‘sorry guys no dad bods, skinny or fat guys, I know this sounds shallow but I wont settle’
1621339 - 05 Sep, 2023 - 12:11PM
From a mans perspective - When I was young there was almost a blueprint of what a woman should look like and I guess I went along with it to a certain extent. But I really don't have this as a priority now. I have no real expectations, only, that you look after yourself physically and mentally (thats across the board - men and women). And have a realistic outlook on life!
Santa509 - 04 Sep, 2023 - 10:40PM
I think it works both ways , unfortunately most women want a man who is 5,8" and above thus limiting their potential matches x
1 member likes this comment.
Carbon41 - 04 Sep, 2023 - 10:40AM
Its not just the women, I have been rejected because of my age but actually I look 10 years younger than my actual age. I'm also very active and fit which you can't see if you don't chat about it.
My approach to this is that at a certain age we ALL carry scars and few extra pounds so "people" should accept this and not refuse acontact based on perceptio.
1 member likes this comment.
Caroline Red - 01 Sep, 2023 - 06:48AM
The M is the point for most point for most women where their bodies signal very clearly that they are no longer here for sexual reproduction but for helping with grandchildren and making jam for the village fete. It's biology. Men see a 2/3 waist to hip ratio and are actually turned on by that because it signals fertility. Conversely the M releases the waistline to wander where it pleases and signal that the woman is no longer fertile. Luckily for us most men over 50 are so desperate and horny they don't care.
3 members like this comment.
Hedone - 31 Aug, 2023 - 05:28PM
Fun guy
Completely agree, glad you’re getting your moneys worth :-)
1 member likes this comment.
philix86 - 30 Aug, 2023 - 05:08PM
I’ve just joined this chat. Anyone with experience of older women will know that everyone ages, some better than others.
I wonder if women worry about it too much. For me, if they are warm, pleasant people with their clothes on, they are absolutely gorgeous naked.
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Petruchio911 - 30 Aug, 2023 - 01:57PM
007
Interesting point in your last sentence.
This will undoubtedly have been discussed on an alternative thread but how much younger or older would members go?
Generally i set an initial criteria at 15 years younger and 5 years older but those are not set in stone if a particulr individual intrigues me.
P911
Doubleohseven - 30 Aug, 2023 - 11:57AM
Any man beyond the age of 45 who has ever been on a Mediterranean beach, and paid any attention, will have developed very realistic, statistically-based expectations of what the average woman (or man) in his age group looks like when naked. As a result, said man will frequently draw the self-exculpatory conclusion that physical decline is perfectly acceptable - especially in himself!
I for one am always attracted by personality first and foremost. Which includes the will and effort to do more about physical decline than just shrug.
As an alternative, a 20 year age gap (downwards) seems to be working too. 😁
1 member likes this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 30 Aug, 2023 - 12:46AM
TBH - 09:27PM
Indeed!
L&G - 10:12PM
It happens to me quite often too ... you're in good company! 😉
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Petruchio911 - 29 Aug, 2023 - 10:31PM
Hey oop long Legs.
Nothing new there....the thought police regularly censor my posts. Sense of humour bypass syndrome.
P911
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Legs&Eyes - 29 Aug, 2023 - 10:12PM
Think Ive done 3 posts on this thread in last couple of days.
None are posted.
My voice is being silenced!
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 29 Aug, 2023 - 09:27PM
ExoticOrchid - 29 Aug, 2023 - 05:10PM
Tbf humour is a subjective thing. But if one thinks themselves as a funny man, then it is only fitting that they should in turn be able to laugh at themselves.
2 members like this comment.
Funguy77 - 29 Aug, 2023 - 08:22PM
@ Hedone - 29 Aug, 2023 - 05:21PM
Just not found the right woman yet that’s all
Iv only met like 4 / 5 . I bet thes other’s in this forum that go through a lot more
ExoticOrchid - 29 Aug, 2023 - 06:38PM
P99 - 06:00PM
Of course ... I'll have a Porn Star Martini please! 🍹🍿
Paula99 - 29 Aug, 2023 - 06:00PM
Exotic..join me for drink ?
I have toffee popcorn and sex on the beach
1 member likes this comment.
Hedone - 29 Aug, 2023 - 05:21PM
Fun Guy I’m surprised you’re still here with all these dates you’ve had. Don’t tell me not found the right one yet?
I think some men definitely have a warped mind when it comes to sizes in particular dress size. I’ve had a few that have commented that they wouldn’t go above a 12. I’m a 12/14 (just for context). When I then point out that a woman who is tall could quite easily be a 14 and be slim they just don’t get it.
Fine if you want the gym bunny, but please if you’re not gym fit yourself then it’s definitely double standards.
ExoticOrchid - 29 Aug, 2023 - 05:10PM
TBH - 01:29PM
Yup ... fantasies and bitchness abound and not from a female either ... who'd have thunk it, eh? 🤷🤦🏻♀️
Funguy77 - 29 Aug, 2023 - 02:01PM
Lol Do i come across as bitchy ? 🥹
I honestly don’t mean to be
Not had my hole in like 3 months lol
TheBoredHousewife - 29 Aug, 2023 - 01:29PM
Is it time to bring the popcorn and deck chair out again?
2 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 29 Aug, 2023 - 10:34AM
Wow and they say women are bitchy ... now we know!!! 🙄🤣
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Funguy77 - 29 Aug, 2023 - 09:47AM
@ Petruchio911 - 29 Aug, 2023 - 12:33AM
Has no I have no need I’m doing quite well with the lovely ladies I have dated from here thank you
Ps you will need to brush up on your witty banter jokes about sheep went out of fashion in the 70’s
Petruchio911 - 29 Aug, 2023 - 12:53AM
My style guru and body double is Spike in Notting Hill.
"Well chosen briefs....nice firm buttocks"
P911 you say it best when you say nothing at all
Petruchio911 - 29 Aug, 2023 - 12:33AM
Funguy 77.
Have you considered sheep as an alternative?
P911 only ewe
1 member likes this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 28 Aug, 2023 - 10:46AM
Sandypops - 04:40AM
ONLY 52? Still a youngster!
I'm 66 and no complaints too (and without blindfold and handcuffs 🤣).
PS: IE men "in general" do "tend" to have high expectations whilst they themselves aren't exactly "to swoon for" specimens.
As I have always said, both sexes can be just as bad as each other ... that's human nature innit!
3 members like this comment.
Funguy77 - 28 Aug, 2023 - 10:37AM
Tall Dark Handsome. Did someone call !!
I’m all the above but very funny I get a right kick out of making you laugh till you nearly pee yourself
Obviously the handsome part is subjective right 😝 but as Becky said we do exist trouble is I’m in Scotland with a total poof 5 million and not say in London that has 9 million lol I still haven’t been snapped up yet
Graciehunter - 28 Aug, 2023 - 10:22AM
Like anything some will and some won't. We aren't a hive mind believe it or not.
Beckysharp - 28 Aug, 2023 - 10:05AM
And yes I am shamelessly just as bad Paula 😇😂
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 28 Aug, 2023 - 09:59AM
There are definitely tall dark and handsome men on here needleinahaystack 😉
Paula99 - 28 Aug, 2023 - 08:13AM
Needle in a haystack…
Unfortunately as you have discovered…the women are just as bad …😁
Dotty Green - 28 Aug, 2023 - 07:23AM
Needle in a haystack - 27 Aug, 2023
Yeah of course only the woman here with unrealistic expectations…. Never the men eh 🤷🏻♀️
1 member likes this comment.
Sandypops - 28 Aug, 2023 - 04:40AM
Admin really doesn't like my comments 😫
So here I go again .....
Last time I checked, I wasn't a man, so I have no idea if they have unrealistic expectations about getting naked with a woman over the age of ... shock, horror .... 45 😱
Being a fuller figure woman, with more wobbly bits than a jelly and ice-cream party, at the VERY advanced age of 52 😂, I've not had any complaints (but that could be something to do with the blindfold and handcuffs 😉
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and personality is such a turn on (Think The Twits)
Needle in a haystack - 27 Aug, 2023 - 11:33PM
I think Woman have major unrealistic expectations on here full stop. Majority all searching for someone over 6ft, tall dark and handsome 😂
Well they ain’t here because they wouldn’t need these sites😂
Instead it’s dad bods in general, some of us scrub up all right.
Ones that make me laugh the most are the people who make out they look amazing with all the filters etc and look nothing like that in real life. Completely delusional
1 member likes this comment.
PonderingOne - 27 Aug, 2023 - 11:09PM
No I don’t believe so but I do think both sexes can chase more youthful partners. The beauty industry marketers do try and persuade us you can appear more youthful than your age. Just look at the media hype around Joan Collins in a white bikini at 90 and how much is spent on anti wrinkle cream each year! Confidence in your own body, having a similar outlook and appearance are far more important to finding a match. Age can be beautiful too, experience can match vigour!
laugar164 - 27 Aug, 2023 - 05:03PM
@paula99
Not all men are like that for me I just want a old fashioned affair one lady so we can meet up when we can close the door and forget ourselves for a few hours allowing us to be ourselves instead of being a wife or a husband
Db360k - 27 Aug, 2023 - 04:23PM
I think many men do . But also many don’t , personally i find attractiveness comes with the way someone acts , you can not get better that a woman who is confident in her sexuality and her body when together , more so in the bedroom . This counts much more than size, stretch marks ect , we are all human and different and I love that.
2 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 27 Aug, 2023 - 04:23PM
I don’t think men do have unrealistic expectations about getting naked with a woman over 45 ..
But …
They do have unrealistic expectations of attracting pretty young things that are half their ages and are fooled into thinking that they can compete with it .
Also guys want everything … hot wives …great jobs ..family ..sports and god knows what else they fill up their ‘boring’ lives with…the expectations are high for the women involved as they want a ‘ hot gf ‘ and zero drama.
Cake and eat it comes to mind …but no compromises😕.
7 members like this comment.
Funguy77 - 27 Aug, 2023 - 03:44PM
I dislike this question. As a 45+ man I’m realistic what a woman will look like when you take into consideration if she has raised a family…
For me it’s fifty fifty looks yes but make me laugh I’m your
2 members like this comment.
smooth operator - 27 Aug, 2023 - 03:32PM
Is it just me or is this question slightly slanted?!
Whilst leaving aside the aged 45+ criteria for a moment.
Judging by the amount of ladies who place a PW request within their profile for any male respondents to adher to within their first message
and many of those who don’t generally request a PW by message 3
I would suggest that it is the ladies rather than the men becoming more visually demanding and less focused upon other elements of personality or intellect.
5 members like this comment.
Getsby - 27 Aug, 2023 - 02:07PM
Personally I don’t think as I’m into older women’s and most of time I find them they look younger than their age ,
1 member likes this comment.
TallishDark&Handsome - 27 Aug, 2023 - 01:28PM
I do not believe that men have unrealistic expectations on what women should look like beyond 45, I think the problem is propagated by women and the beauty industry, I hate to see women with fillers and plastics, natural is best but I think make up can transform- something that men don’t have.
2 members like this comment.
Gentle Man Jim - 27 Aug, 2023 - 09:08AM
I can only speak for myself, but……..
I think some women think men want something different to what we actually do want.
For me an aging attractive woman remains attractive and simply changes.
I dislike plastic alterations.
Face lifts look scary. Plastic tits look so,fake.
If a woman has large breasts the it’s obvious they may head south a little as she ages. Am I honestly alone in finding them appealing? I think enhanced round things on a woman’s chest look horrid!
A wrinkling face …. Or should I say laughter lines….. enhance beauty, not ruin it!
I am far past 21 and want to explore a woman with natural aging like myself.
The post about women taking more care of,their appearance I think is a fair comment and as for margothrobbie…… Im in tears!
5 members like this comment.
1598075 - 16 May, 2023 - 11:32PM
I am sure they do, some will be disappointed others though will be enlightened.
I grew up in a naturist family and appreciate the female form
Cheesypuff - 23 Apr, 2023 - 06:20PM
Circe180 - 23 Apr, 2023 - 05:41PM
The party never stops when Cheesypuffs in town 😘
1590175 - 23 Apr, 2023 - 05:41PM
Cheesypuff
I think your'e a bit too late to her party 🤔
Cheesypuff - 23 Apr, 2023 - 05:07PM
margothrobbie - 29 Mar, 2023 - 12:57PM
Ok you've got my attention
1 member likes this comment.
Springit - 12 Apr, 2023 - 11:15AM
It might sound like it’s just the right thing to say but the way someone comes across , how easily they laugh and how personable they are is way more important
lovetogo - 05 Apr, 2023 - 11:26PM
Considering women are more thoughtful towards what they look like all the time men expect
Unrealistic expectations,but forget that females have given birth to children which alters their
bodies.But being a male i would much more look at a female to a fellar when they are naked
because they are lovely to look at especially as women look after themselves that much more.
so our expectations are not unfounded do you not think.
1 member likes this comment.
lovetogo - 05 Apr, 2023 - 11:26PM
Considering women are more thoughtful towards what they look like all the time men expect
Unrealistic expectations,but forget that females have given birth to children which alters their
bodies.But being a male i would much more look at a female to a fellar when they are naked
because they are lovely to look at especially as women look after themselves that much more.
so our expectations are not unfounded do you not think.
Springit - 02 Apr, 2023 - 09:23PM
I can’t speak for others but I certainly don’t . If you’ve really connected with someone emotionally , it doesn’t matter anyway. I speak from experience!
2 members like this comment.
Springit - 02 Apr, 2023 - 09:23PM
I can’t speak for others but I certainly don’t . If you’ve really connected with someone emotionally , it doesn’t matter anyway. I speak from experience!
1 member likes this comment.
Sammi468 - 30 Mar, 2023 - 10:16PM
I certainly do. I am horrified when the scaffolding comes off.
We can have a tendency to slide quicker.
1 member likes this comment.
margothrobbie - 29 Mar, 2023 - 12:57PM
My body isn't like it used to be but I can still do things with it that will make a man cry.
2 members like this comment.
1588499 - 24 Mar, 2023 - 07:21PM
bollygirl - 24 Mar, 2023 - 07:01PM
Well said 👏🏼 Imperfections make a person and the confidence with which you carry yourself is infinitely more attractive and seductive than any objectively 'perfect' body.
Having reached my mid-40s I have a former IE to thank for an awakening and confidence in myself that I've ever had before.
3 members like this comment.
1589363 - 24 Mar, 2023 - 07:01PM
Whilst I do believe an element of this men have to remember parts of their bodies change too…. I have no hesitation pointing that out to a guy if he makes any suggestion. I have never felt so confident being 50 next year in sexuality and in my life…. The body of a woman is a beautiful thing and the majority have raised children. If a man can’t appreciate the beauty of that he simply should jog on in my world… I would like to see a guy of my age find the confidence a woman of my age in a younger ‘perfect’ body … in my opinion they are more wary of the no shit attitude an older woman has not her body…
3 members like this comment.
Dotty Green - 23 Mar, 2023 - 11:22AM
ZRicky - 23 Mar, 2023 - 11:15AM
How lovely of you.
However think we covered this on a different thread - younger men and older women, for me it's a no no.... I stick to my own age or a few years either way. But it's lovely you can appreciate an older woman.
2 members like this comment.
ZRicky - 23 Mar, 2023 - 11:15AM
Apologies if already covered, but I’d like to turn this around on the ladies..
I prefer an older woman, a lot of the conversations on this site lead very quickly to the lady stating something along the lines of “you wouldn’t be interested in someone my age/body type etc”, mainly due to how they perceive someone of my age would respond
I genuinely think there is something very attractive about an older woman, but I’d love for you ladies to have confidence in yourselves and not immediately think a younger man can’t appreciate you for what you are, is it a perception that you think men have unrealistic expectations or do they actually have them
Just a random thought, no offence intended to those who disagree with any of it!
3 members like this comment.
1546412 - 22 Mar, 2023 - 07:06PM
Becky Sharp, thanks
Unfortunately, you don’t live in London. And I’m not in your age range. And the people who do (and for whom I am) don’t appear to agree with you, at present! 😄
1 member likes this comment.
1483842 - 22 Mar, 2023 - 04:29PM
I do not think men or women have unrealistic expectations. We are all going on what we have experienced before aren't we? Otherwise how could we expect what we haven't experienced?
The magic I make with a lover all takes place in the mind. My husband is 5'3 and 15 stone. Because of the mental connection we have I adore every nook and cranny. The same should apply here.
We should just ASK about peoples preferences. Understand how a lover ticks. Rather than allowing someones preferences to affect your body confidence. Being honest about being 5' and 20 stone is crucial (just an example), because what you want is a person like me, that appreciates sexual attraction through the mind first. The mind is our biggest sexual organ after all. Establishing chemistry and a connection is the most important aspects. Wanting to rip each others clothes off before we meet is, for me, blinding to asthetics.
Don't be down on somebody's preferences by taking it personally. We can have whatever we want without hurting ot
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 22 Mar, 2023 - 02:13PM
Becky
Love a cheeky bum slap 😂😂😂😂
2 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 22 Mar, 2023 - 11:05AM
@Cuilleog
Fwiw I think you have a good profile, and if I was your age and lived in London you’d be just what I was looking for! You come across well on forum too
2 members like this comment.
1546412 - 22 Mar, 2023 - 10:46AM
Some probably do. Men are very visually- oriented, and a lot of guys with bad sex lives are probably watching a lot of potential, which is massively unrealistic, and is bound to lead to unrealistic expectations. But I think a lot of women do, also. I’ve been knocked back repeatedly when the exchange of passwords ritual is observed. None of these women were supermodels, to my knowledge. And, while I know I’m no George Clooney, I also know from real life that I’m not a gargoyle. Women flirt with me a fair bit in the real world, but as has been discussed on here, while IRL affairs may be easier to come by, they’re also potentially messier- hence us being on here. I guess a lot of us come on here with unrealistic expectations - such as that people won’t ghost you for no reason, stand you up for no reason, etc, etc (cue snores and yawns from the forum, as Cuilleog goes into his standard rant …) 😆
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Beckysharp - 22 Mar, 2023 - 10:18AM
Yes the slap effect was mentioned by him too TBH 😂
1 member likes this comment.
1588499 - 22 Mar, 2023 - 10:05AM
Ahhh, the mum tum 😋
TheBoredHousewife - 22 Mar, 2023 - 10:01AM
Indeed, some bits are meant to be wobbly. And it’s great for a female to know that her man appreciates them as well. I don’t think I could ever get tired of my man grabbing or giving my bottom a wee slap, or resting his head fondly on my mummy belly 😊
4 members like this comment.
1588499 - 22 Mar, 2023 - 09:59AM
😆 Exactly, B#! A little softness is essential!
2 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 22 Mar, 2023 - 09:38AM
My guy complained recently complained I’d been working too hard at gym and my arse was no longer sufficiently wobbly enough for his liking 😂
2 members like this comment.
1588499 - 22 Mar, 2023 - 09:21AM
Chris, some bits are supposed to wobble 🤷🏻♂️
2 members like this comment.
chris19389 - 22 Mar, 2023 - 05:48AM
The comments on stats brought to mind this quote that made me laugh
"The odds are good, but the goods are odd".
Anyway I don't mind imperfections at all, but I do mind if she isn't bothering to go to the gym to stop the bits that wobble from wobbling. If *I* put the effort in, so should she.
1 member likes this comment.
FluffyClouds - 21 Mar, 2023 - 10:35PM
HS -
You brought the chat to stats, all I did was quote Mark Twain. People do find relationships who aren't in the top 5%, it's maybe slightly more difficult on IE because it's a smaller community than singles sites, which the stats you refer to are based on. People also aren't looking for a soul mate on here and forever after.
4 members like this comment.
Eliza Boo - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:55PM
Bummer, but good for him! I often think of Bob too. Top guys.👍 I miss my bloke mates from my teens and 20s. I like having guys to be silly and daft with. Maybe because I am so shit at flirting!!!
1 member likes this comment.
Dotty Green - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:44PM
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:39PM
🥰😍
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:39PM
Me too LG!!! And yes he’s done ok for himself DG 😉 (I’m sure he won’t mind me saying).
2 members like this comment.
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:33PM
Becky, I really don't think you've understood anything I've written so far.
I get that you enjoy virtual encounters because it gives you more opportunity to flirt with lots of men, but if you want an actual, physical encounter, then surely even you can see that a 1 in 200 success rate is poor compared to 1 in 7, yes?
Dotty Green - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:32PM
Lorelai Gilmore - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:18PM
He’s not even playing words with friends 😂 must be well loved up 😂😂
2 members like this comment.
Eliza Boo - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:18PM
Speaking of bloke mates, i actually quite miss Cheesey...Do you think if we say his name three times he'll come back for us?! 😃
2 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 21 Mar, 2023 - 08:05PM
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 07:06PM
By your own rationale, your final score could be one of fantasy.
I wish you a good evening.
1 member likes this comment.
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 07:38PM
Illicit Penpals doesn't have quite the same allure 🤣🤣
I do take your point though - infidelity can be incredibly isolating and it's good to chat to people who are going through the same stuff.
2 members like this comment.
1588499 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 07:34PM
It's going way off topic here, thankyouverymuchBeckysharp! 😉
Back to the title. Which of you stallions on here doesn't like the odd little stretch mark, a little sag, a crooked nose etc.? I find objectively 'perfect' bodies don't do it for me at all. I much prefer 'real'.
2 members like this comment.
Eliza Boo - 21 Mar, 2023 - 07:31PM
Ive really appreciate the few platonic guy buds I've met from here. We might have complimented each other on our profiles but were not compatible due to age, or distance, but just a great chat and laugh together!
3 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 07:27PM
Quixotic I remember you saying how much you enjoyed it 😉
1 member likes this comment.
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 07:19PM
Sorry Becky but I don't think you have had any affairs. Not real ones. If you did, you wouldn't be so active on this site for year after year.
I think that you and your kind find validation in online flirting and that in itself is enough to scratch your itch. Nothing wrong with that, but it ain't an affair.
People who are genuinely satisfied with their love lives don't go on forums telling strangers how satisfied they are.
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 07:18PM
I think I’ll leave you to enjoy your evening HS 🥴
I don’t think even you know what point you’re making now!
3 members like this comment.
1588499 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 07:14PM
Spicy, well, I suppose but not winning the lottery doesn't leave you any worse off and not finding anybody on IE shouldn't either.
I had an experience on here that surpasses anything I've ever experienced irl. Perhaps I was lucky but there are some very interesting and genuine people on here and they, men or women, should quite rightly be selective in who they choose.
Fwiw, I think your have a good profile. Unorthodox maybe but way better than mine!
3 members like this comment.
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 07:06PM
BH - just because you believe something doesn't make it true though.
We can all be masters at our game if we're free to make up our own final scores 🤣🤣🤣🤣
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 07:03PM
Not at all HS.
So are you saying you are top 5%? As well as all of us who have longer term affairs?
My point is that we are not special, not that we are 🤷♀️
1 member likes this comment.
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 06:56PM
Fluffy and Becky don't like the stats and would prefer to pretend that they weren't true. 🤣🤣🤣
Maybe it's because they want to believe that they are rather special and don't like the fact that EVERY woman here is inundated with male attention. Maybe that inconvenient truth devalues them in their eyes?
Quixotic, that's fair enough - but if someone hangs their hat on winning the lottery instead of grafting at a job, they're almost certainly in for a terrible disappointment, yes?
1588499 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 06:02PM
TheBoredHousewife - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:44PM
"We can’t talk about our secret lives to anybody in the real world, and it can be isolating."
This cannot be overstated! So true.
3 members like this comment.
1588499 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:58PM
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:00PM
Like a lottery though, if your numbers do come up you can win big. Keep playing, in it to win it n'all. You might just need new balls.
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:50PM
Very true FC
And HS has proven that the stats are rubbish. Unless he is claiming to be too 5% 🤔😂
I agree TBH it’s soooo great to get a ‘make adulterer’ opinion sometimes. Could never get that irl.
2 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:44PM
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:00PM
We are long standing mates, and yes I believe them. They are masters in this game. Horses for courses. Reap success whichever way you know how and feel most comfortable in.
On the subject of chatting with others while matched. I find it incredibly helpful sometimes to talk through matters with people who can cast an impartial eye on things. We can’t talk about our secret lives to anybody in the real world, and it can be isolating. Like Becks, my male chat buddies sometimes ask for a female opinion on IE matters, and I do vice versa.
5 members like this comment.
StevenN - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:22PM
I don't think so, I personally do not care about at this point of my life, although I do not need below 40
FluffyClouds - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:18PM
Lies, damned lies, and statistics - phrase describing the persuasive power of statistics to bolster weak arguments
2 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:10PM
Agree TBH I’ve chatted to platonic IE buddies most have had success. Sometimes they’ve even asked for advice which is cute! And I’d say even the very attractive ones have all been happy once they’ve found their IE. Most men just want regular fun with someone they fancy and trust
It’s one of the reasons I really don’t buy the incel theory stuff. It’s just making a few poor men who don’t have success feel very bitter
2 members like this comment.
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 05:00PM
TBH - Do these buddies really have success or do they just tell you they have success? 🤣
And what is their success rate?
Over the past five years or so, only one romantic partner arrived via internet dating - and that's after being rejected by about 200+ women.
By contrast, in the same timespan I've had four partners who I met IRL after being rejected by maybe 30 women - and I'm pretty sure that those four would all have swiped left had they seen me on an app. Go figure.
These days I see IE as being akin to buying a lottery ticket. You might get lucky, but you probably won't be.
TheBoredHousewife - 21 Mar, 2023 - 04:21PM
I don’t think anybody is looking to tuck great grandma into bed so that’s me away from the search radar.
But what I really wanted to write about was that I have platonic male chat buddies from IE who at first glance are not top 5%, yet have a fair amount of success, with hot women too. They must doing something right 😊
4 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 04:06PM
HS
Personally, once I match with someone and begin a relationship then I stop looking
You must be too 5% too!! 😂😂
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 03:51PM
I have a long term thing and my profile is hidden so I get relatively few messages 🤷♀️
I don’t think any posters on here are obviously lying. You may disagree.
I have never struggled to get exactly what I want in terms of an affair. And I guess that’s all that matters for me!
I’m always curious about men who don’t have a full membership posting comments on the forum 😂
1 member likes this comment.
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 03:23PM
I'm always curious about why certain women who claim to be super-successful on this site are still on this site - unless they are muddling getting lots of male attention with actually getting a real life partner.
Personally, once I match with someone and begin a relationship then I stop looking - just like I don't spend all day looking at car ads once I've bought a car. I think there are a lot of "fake it 'til ya make it" ladies here,
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 03:10PM
I guess I (and a lot of the posters on here) are all top 5% then Hottie Spicy 😉
Eejit69 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 03:09PM
Got to say I’m surprised this came up as a subject on here and in these times of body positivity. Just shows how naive I am…
Given that most of us here have been around more than one block (apologies to anyone that’s still on the first lap) and encountered life’s vagaries, that experience helps to look beyond the shallow expectations generated by media and false social norms.
Don’t get me wrong, I am attracted physically as much as the next guy, but my definition of attractive has wide boundaries. I’m not trying to ingratiate myself with the whole female population here (although I can kiss ass when needed) I think it’s closer to reality. My tuppence
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 02:51PM
Beckysharp It's hardly a conspiracy theory. There are literally hundreds of articles and dozens of data-based studies on why internet dating fails so many people so consistently (unless they are in the top 5% lookswise). You're right in part - there is definitely an imbalance of men / women, which will give women greater choice but it goes beyond that. Most women are INCREDIBLY picky about who they engage with, yet spend literally years of their lives never matching with anyone. At some point, even they have to admit that they're not helping their chances by being so super-selective, especially if they're not in the top 5% themselves.
Beckysharp - 21 Mar, 2023 - 01:43PM
Ultimately we can only control our own actions. If there are people who we think have unrealistic expectations (plenty of men on here do too!) just don’t message them,
Obviously I do feel sorry for the certain % of men on here that always struggle. But that will always happen on a site where there are more men than women. And becoming bitter about it does not add to your attraction to the opposite sex.
We are all (men and women) looking for a spark and there’s no point in doing this when it isn’t there. If you find it easier to meet people in real life- no one is stopping you! I doubt conspiracy theories help though!
Paula99 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 11:02AM
James1268..
Guys do know more but women know better …😂😂
2 members like this comment.
1554570 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 10:43AM
Hottie Spicy,
Totally agree with you, ordinary women will regularly reject a guy if he is not super good looking , but then get upset and claim there are no decent men left when mr good looking blows them off.
2 members like this comment.
Hottie Spicy - 21 Mar, 2023 - 10:27AM
WillKr, I've seen exactly the same thing in almost exactly the same environment. Very average-looking female friends who are single or divorced busily rejecting any guy who isn't Orlando Bloom and then getting annoyed when the few actual Orlandos don't find them attractive enough to engage with.
Internet dating fails the lower 95% of both sexes, but for different reasons. Real life is SO much easier.
2 members like this comment.
1554570 - 21 Mar, 2023 - 09:01AM
Not personally, but reading some of the profiles on the forums think some women certainly have some incredibly unrealistic physical expectations of what they are going to find in married men 50 +
James1268 - 20 Mar, 2023 - 08:33PM
No I don't agree with this, I think men are smarter than woman think they are
1 member likes this comment.
lovetogo - 20 Mar, 2023 - 08:17PM
If what is under the clothing is above i think girls put us guys to shame,women tend to be very
on the ball when its about looks at any age.Mind you they have been through having children.
1 member likes this comment.
FluffyClouds - 20 Mar, 2023 - 08:11PM
BeckySharp -
I'd swipe right on Bagpuss.
4 members like this comment.
MatureWorcsBBW - 20 Mar, 2023 - 06:34PM
WillKr
Long before online dating existed, I had boyfriends and then got married.
Anyone who knows me will testify that I dated men who were never considered remotely good looking and never handsome.
So although I do swipe right now as we all do, I don't do it based primarily on looks and NEVER have.
In fact I'm quite the opposite.
Good looks tend to put me off meeting someone.
Just to be clear.
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 20 Mar, 2023 - 06:28PM
(You don’t say whether they were men or women swiping but I’m sure both behave equally- quick judgement based on photos)
Beckysharp - 20 Mar, 2023 - 06:17PM
I think we’d all ‘swipe left’ on those examples wouldn’t we?!
2 members like this comment.
WillKr - 20 Mar, 2023 - 05:49PM
I got an insight into online dating when 2 of my wife’s divorced friends were at a dinner party and chatting with us about how they cant find a guy. Now they on any objective measure are around average in looks, so what do you think they were like when scrolling through profiles?
They were rapid left swiping making derogatory comments on each ‘ugly, fat, wimp, bagpus, looks thick, tramp, shit wig’ etc.
I estimate they swiped 2 men per second. So the starting point is physical attraction no matter how much people say otherwise
1 member likes this comment.
FluffyClouds - 20 Mar, 2023 - 03:01PM
Syphyjohn -
Thought that read 'manured' with age, my mistake 😂
3 members like this comment.
Syphyjohn - 20 Mar, 2023 - 10:07AM
I am a twin and we look very alike, however, for some reason, he got all the action when we were younger. It goes to show looks are not everything and it is how you carry yourself.
I have matured with age but still think he is a twat. :-)
3 members like this comment.
1588499 - 20 Mar, 2023 - 09:44AM
Enigma.. - 20 Mar, 2023 - 06:55AM
It happens the other way around too, and not just here but on conventional dating sites.
One possibility though is that some people are rarely in front of the camera lens, rather than an intention to deceive. I have very few photos with me in them from any period and I don't think the wide-angle selfies you get on phones are particularly flattering!
1 member likes this comment.
Enigma.. - 20 Mar, 2023 - 06:55AM
@FluffyClouds
Most males on here are 🤔, imaginative, when it comes to their profile age.
I’ve had a couple of dates where I didn’t recognise them 😲😕😂.
And I’ve seen some profile pics that were well and truly out of date 🤷🏼♀️.
Having typed that… I suppose it’s the same for male members.
3 members like this comment.
Syphyjohn - 20 Mar, 2023 - 12:19AM
I am pretty fit, no fat on me, I work hard so it keeps me lean. I don't have unrealistic expectations, just nice boobs and a nice bum and I am a happy man.
Johnnylondon - 19 Mar, 2023 - 11:25PM
As a guy I completely agree that most men do have unrealistic expectations but I wouldn't say it's exclusive to men - a lot of profiles will often say - your manhood needs to be this size, your height needs to be this size and you have to look like you work out. I agree that there obviously has to be an attraction there (clearly) but i think both sexes have the same 'ideals' that they say they want no?
Johnnylondon - 19 Mar, 2023 - 11:25PM
As a guy I completely agree that most men do have unrealistic expectations but I wouldn't say it's exclusive to men - a lot of profiles will often say - your manhood needs to be this size, your height needs to be this size and you have to look like you work out. I agree that there obviously has to be an attraction there (clearly) but i think both sexes have the same 'ideals' that they say they want no?
2 members like this comment.
FluffyClouds - 19 Mar, 2023 - 06:50PM
Peaches & BeckySharp -
Totally agree. They can dream I suppose. It's laughable in most cases judging by the pics I've seen.
3 members like this comment.
Enigma.. - 19 Mar, 2023 - 06:37PM
Yes….
However….
Having been off the site for 2 years and I only came back on again last year.
Some of those same males, who rejected me before, are messaging me again. Saying I look good. Just their type.
Have I changed 🤔… nope. Gotten older 🤔… yes. 😂
Make of that what you will 😉😏
3 members like this comment.
Dotty Green - 19 Mar, 2023 - 06:12PM
Paula99 - 19 Mar, 2023 - 10:30AM And Becky
My moisturiser is the same as my perfume … as is my body wash … I have a very specific scent ….
I love underwear…. And I love nakedness… as I said if you feel comfortable in your own skin you are sexy !!!!
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 19 Mar, 2023 - 10:44AM
I completely agree with the age range thing Peaches1. So many that would sleep with someone over half their age but not even a year older. I guess if that’s their preference then fair enough, but it’s an easy ‘no’ for me so that’s a plus!
And yessss to the feeling of skin on skin Paula99 😍
2 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 19 Mar, 2023 - 10:30AM
Becky and Dotty ..
I agree too … not a great fan of lingerie… I know guys love it but there is nothing like the feel of skin on skin ..
I use an all over moisturiser and I shave .. my IE used to love it.. yet he would shower and nothing else and yes your right Becky ….I liked him for him
1 member likes this comment.
Peaches1 - 19 Mar, 2023 - 10:28AM
I think alot of men have unrealistic expectations full stop on this site. Coming across so many men on here who are in their late 40's early 50's setting their age range from 21 to their current age. I mean what pretty 21 year old is going to go with a fat, baldy, arrogant man? I think if someone is young enough to be your son / daughter then it's a no. Just my opinion as the thought makes me sick.
5 members like this comment.
Waterman08 - 19 Mar, 2023 - 10:23AM
I would say not all men, but I'm afraid most are likely to think so, and that is unfortunate. Attraction is not only viual, but in the mind and communication.
Beckysharp - 19 Mar, 2023 - 10:14AM
Completely agree DG.
My lover not massively into lingerie (and nor am i tbf) but I wax and use scented moisturiser and even that makes me feel sexy and confident.
He does neither of those things but I like him just the way he is!!
1 member likes this comment.
Dotty Green - 19 Mar, 2023 - 10:03AM
I think a lot of attraction comes from if you’re happy and confident in your own skin … it shows !
For me it’s … this is me 🤷🏻♀️ I’m never going to be a size zero …
I make the most of what I have and lingerie !!!! 😂
1 member likes this comment.
1588499 - 19 Mar, 2023 - 09:56AM
I am 44 and feel in better shape than I've ever been and I'm sure the same is true of many ladies but I actually like imperfections in a person. It's what makes them unique.
1 member likes this comment.
Isthisforyou? - 19 Mar, 2023 - 09:12AM
Speaking as a 50-something man, I don't think we have unrealistic expectations... we all have miles on the clock and bits don't quite fit together in the way they did in our twenties but we can still work to keep ourselves in the best shape for ourselves. Tt's just going to be different from when we were younger
1587976 - 19 Mar, 2023 - 08:25AM
I believe some men do, but speaking as a man myself, we are all different and aging is a natural process we all have to go through. If a man can’t accept that then he is not worth your time. Find someone who likes the inner you, someone who wants to get to know you for who you are.
1 member likes this comment.
1587581 - 18 Mar, 2023 - 05:16PM
Beccak - I had some viens dealt with in my left leg...once I started losing weight it was odd, my left calf just remained large....That's when all the viens revealed themselves..I looked like I mismatched legs for about 6 months!
Had them done at a local BUPA place, it's worth getting it sorted if it bugs you. Mine was a bit more medical than aesthetic though.
Beccak - 18 Mar, 2023 - 09:39AM
Morning all.
I too am the fittest I’ve been, it’s a nice feeling other than the dreaded daily exercise. I have some varicose viens though which are starting to show behind my knee.
I don’t agree it’s unrealistic to expect a tight body, lots of older people attain it
Dotty Green - 18 Mar, 2023 - 09:24AM
TheBoredHousewife - 18 Mar, 2023 - 06:14AM
I fell asleep 😂😂😂😂
2 members like this comment.
Dotty Green - 18 Mar, 2023 - 06:34AM
FerrariFF - 17 Mar, 2023 - 10:04PM
Wow amazing - well done and I hope all is well health wise.
As I approached I took up running lost weight again like you for me !!!!
Now the dreaded M word has appeared along with a few stressful situations I’m finding it harder to keep weight off - it’s a blip - and i want to maintain how I look and feel for me !
I think like others have said if the other person is hung up on the perfectl body … then the night need to have a reality check.
If I feel comfortable with someone it brings out the confidence….
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 18 Mar, 2023 - 06:14AM
All things and wonderful - 17 Mar, 2023 - 11:37PM
I enjoyed reading that profile before. And then clicked on the pw…….😏
1 member likes this comment.
Somniata - 17 Mar, 2023 - 11:49PM
Oh definitely. Most men do have unrealistic expectations of what a woman should look like beyond the age of 45! They think women of a certain age have stretch marks, wobbly bits and love handles galore 😅😅 Imagine the surprise when they see we still look fit!😜
2 members like this comment.
All things and wonderful - 17 Mar, 2023 - 11:37PM
Try and check WintersNight profile you might get the answer to your question and even more 😉
1588146 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 10:06PM
Most of the unrealistic expectations about body image (for women and men) is internalized guilt and nonsense from marketing / media - most of which is trying to tell us rubbish, just to sell us rubbish. That's what pre - conception is, an implanted idea.
It becomes a comparative image of ideal vs reality. It's the ideal that is rubbish - not you.
The whole commercial world runs on this crap.
Its about our internal well being - a partner who ignites it in us is what matters.
4 members like this comment.
1587581 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 10:04PM
Ironically I'm the fittest and healthiest I've ever been in my life right now. It took a health scare for me to take stock of life and have a rethink about what I was doing to myself.
I lost 5st over 2 years then spent the next two years getting really fit. I changed the way I live, not a diet, not just a bit of exercise, it was a complete change of lifestyle.
Got my teeth fixed, my eyes lasered and ended up the best version of me possible...I just did it for myself.
The unexpected side effect was confidence, something i'd never really had before. Just comfortable being me. It has been life changing.
Still have some wobbly bits and loose skin but I don't care.
7 members like this comment.
Eliza Boo - 17 Mar, 2023 - 09:46PM
The thing is...you look at pictures from 20 years ago, when you thought you were crap ... and you think "bloody hell, I'd do her!" So we should enjoy what we have, while we have it. Life goes so fast...you only get one body and one life.
If someone doesn't find us sexy for our body and mind and all of us, especially when we probably do everything we can in our power to make them feel amazing about themselves, maybe they are ugly people...
5 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 17 Mar, 2023 - 09:20PM
I don’t know if it’s just me but when I’m getting neked with a guy for first time, I’m more focusing on his body and what I think of it than mine!
3 members like this comment.
Dotty Green - 17 Mar, 2023 - 09:18PM
FerrariFF - 17 Mar, 2023 - 09:12PM
Love a new outfit to surprise him each meet ! Sometimes 2 😈😈
1 member likes this comment.
1587581 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 09:12PM
You got it ladies.....exploit our weaknesses!
Some lovely undies, stockings and heels and it's like a truth serum, we'll do anything for you!
2 members like this comment.
Eliza Boo - 17 Mar, 2023 - 09:05PM
Have to admit, basque, stockings and heels definitely makes me feel a bit better about my casarian and surgery wrecked stomach. I tell myself im still here and i nearly wasn't and so I shouldn't completely hate it. There's plenty I hate about me, but I do tend to focus instead on how crazy hot i find my partner!
4 members like this comment.
Dotty Green - 17 Mar, 2023 - 08:51PM
FerrariFF - 17 Mar, 2023 - 08:21PM
I’m a great lover of sexy undies…. Gives me a huge amount of confidence.
I felt I had put a bit of weight in over Christmas, mentioned to my IE about it and he was oooo bigger boobs 😂 (they’re quite impressive anyway)
I def look after myself and exercise … I’m always slightly shy on the first encounter … but that doesn’t last long I’m quite happy with my body.
2 members like this comment.
Shinetime99 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 08:21PM
My first girlfriend was 12 years older than me and I remember being besotted by her body. She had had kids and stretch marks but her body was the most perfect thing in the world to me. I loved the fact we got to explore and enjoy every inch of our bodies. Our bodies all get older, but to me get no less beautiful/sexy.
1 member likes this comment.
1587581 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 08:21PM
The alternative is get some nice lingerie that covers up the bits that you're self conscious about but you still look/feel great.....
For some reason us men are hardwired with the sexy underwear thing, no idea why, but it is what it is. Forbidden fruit or something, the anticipation of whats coming..., but it works, whatever the psychology is behind it.
So use all the tools available to you to make it fun for you.
3 members like this comment.
1587581 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 08:12PM
Amarulla - The right man will give you that confidence but you've got help him with that just a little bit. You've got appear confident, just long enough to make him think you are. It's a dance, a game, a bit of an act.
We're simple creatures, even at 53 much nuance and all the body language just flies over my head. I see a lady who feels sexy herself, she makes me feel sexy then the way we behave makes her feel wanted and sexy in return......be obvious, try and
Think of it as a mindset, see if you can switch it on for just 20 minutes or so and it all becomes self fullfilling. Then the upside is you feel so good about what just happened that you actually start to feel good about yourself anyway.
If the guy isn't helping, he's the wrong guy. But then you don't need me to tell you that, that's why you're here!
5 members like this comment.
Amarulla - 17 Mar, 2023 - 07:57PM
I think the unrealistic expectation is about how women should feel in their bodies, rather than expectations on how they should look.
Confidence is attractive, yes. But when gravity, childbirth and all else has had its turn, its easier to be critical than confident. Yet men expect confidence...
3 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 17 Mar, 2023 - 07:07PM
I get those too 😂 - they keep us grounded!!
2 members like this comment.
1585013 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 07:06PM
Mind and connection is the key … and the body could be a bonus .. but I agree with the gravity comment , and the fact women are probably more worried about this than their dates .. but it’s always fun finding out whether you click or chemistry exists after you meet
2 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 17 Mar, 2023 - 06:56PM
Beckysharp - 17 Mar, 2023 - 06:13PM
I get reality checks on a regular basis from my nearest and dearest 😆
1 member likes this comment.
Marriedguy47 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 06:41PM
I personally like a older woman and find a woman who is classy but older far more sexy in body and mind.
1 member likes this comment.
Legs&Eyes - 17 Mar, 2023 - 06:33PM
FerrariFF - 17 Mar, 2023 - 06:04PM
I agree with every word of that post! Lol... Yes I too did 12 months on dating apps and also underwent the 'apprenticeship' - horrendous!
And yes I learnt that chemistry is chemistry - and you cant really detail it in full on a profile!
2 members like this comment.
Hottie Spicy - 17 Mar, 2023 - 06:13PM
A friend of mine who is a masseur told me that 9 out of 10 of her female clients start a session by apologising for how their body looks.
Men never do.
I think it's women who have unrealistic expectations of how they should look naked.
3 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 17 Mar, 2023 - 06:06PM
Nobody has the ability to fight gravity.
4 members like this comment.
1587581 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 06:04PM
This is the whole "spark" conversation in a nutshell.
You meet someone - you could have been chatting to them for weeks and you feel.......nothing, just flat, so dissapointing. They could tick every box on your wish list but for some reason it's just not there.
The next person you meet ticks half your boxes but makes you feel like a teenager again.....we don't have any control over this.
I'm glad I did 10 months on regular dating apps before I arrived here, I learned more about myself in that 10 months than the previous 20 years! It feels like a I did an apprenticeship!
I would have been a rabbit in the headlights here without that experience.
So throw all your preconceptions out the window, age, body type, hair colour, education, how bigs your dick! The lot....
If you hit it off, you hit it off.
Isn't it funny that it takes until your 50's to undertand all this crap, when everything's going or gone south or wrinkly and you care far less about what other people think about you!
7 members like this comment.
1587581 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 05:24PM
There's a reason our American cousins refer to the act as "bumping uglies".....
Eliza Boo - 17 Mar, 2023 - 05:13PM
Attraction isn't something you choose. Even if your brain disagrees. It isn't even superficial, its primordial. The eyes take precedent, and if a man doesn't fancy what he sees it just isn't going to happen. I lament this, but I also accept it. Women in their 40's dont look like the women men had in their 20's. But the men don't look the same either... no matter how much running or press-ups they do. Expectations regularly have to be updated accordingly.
2 members like this comment.
1585013 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 04:57PM
Men surely always have unrealistic expectations .. mainly about their own abilities ..
I hope they wouldn’t have any preconceptions of how a woman should look naked .. but if there is chemistry and attraction - then the eyes had me all along …
Nothing that attractive about a naked fifty year old Penis and balls is there … ha ladies look much better naked fullstop ..
3 members like this comment.
rogerlikearabbit - 17 Mar, 2023 - 04:18PM
I have heard a saying which says women age like fruit whilst men age like wine.
Thanos McM - 17 Mar, 2023 - 04:00PM
Intoxicate
I'm not experienced enough on this site to separate the dreamers from the serious people.
But it's good to know that I'm in with a chance if the 12inch fantasists are the minority 😂
2 members like this comment.
Thanos McM - 17 Mar, 2023 - 03:57PM
Paula
Don't shoot the messenger 🙌
I'm just relaying what I've read 😆
I'm glad not all women need a full foot, I'd have no hope!
1579917 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 03:40PM
Paula99... 20 mins 😄
Fingers lips and tongues for as long as possible I'd be 20 seconds banging away after the years of nothing 😔
Paula99 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 03:17PM
Thanos…12inches😂
9 inches plus … it’s painful and often guys rely on their size …banging away for 20 mins is not my idea of good sex..😕
1 member likes this comment.
Hedone - 17 Mar, 2023 - 03:11PM
Thanos
More than likely those profiles are from women o are living in fantasy land
I.E flakes, just want the attention, no intention of meeting
1 member likes this comment.
Thanos McM - 17 Mar, 2023 - 03:08PM
Women are definitely more judgemental to themselves than men are,
Confidence is hot, and in my very little to non existent experience with women who are 40-45+, older women seem more confident in themselves, and rightly so.
Which again, is hot.
Men love the wobbly bits! Well I do anyway 😂
1 member likes this comment.
1582894 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 03:00PM
I think we’re all pretty aware of the effects of ageing, it’s obviously nice to be with someone who looks after themselves and is confident in their appearance. I do think women are often much harsher on themselves than men are… confidence is sexy
1 member likes this comment.
1579917 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 02:50PM
IMO you've just got to be happy with yourself. If you overindulge you've got to work it off (haven't been able to burn any calories in the sack for years)
Age is how you feel pretty sure most on here over 40 feel 21 that's why we are on here so treat others the same as you feel and give them a chance
It'll soon become apparent if they're stubborn old gits
Redfirefox - 17 Mar, 2023 - 02:32PM
I can’t say I’ve ever stipulated I want a man well endowed but I wouldn’t want a cocktail sausage either. And I certainly wouldn’t want anything over 9” even that’s a stretch. I don’t want a baggy Fanny.
And when you’ve got my colour hair I’m certainly not picky on other peoples colours. I just want them to have hair to grab and confidence in their abilities.
Not arsed about body shapes with 2 exceptions.. extremes. Couldnt do very skinny otherwise I’d feel like the hippo next to the duck from the silent night bed advert and I couldn’t do morbidly obese.
Again everyone has their preferences and I think women can be just as picky as men. And why not. For both sexes it important to get it right.
2 members like this comment.
Thanos McM - 17 Mar, 2023 - 02:15PM
Intoxicate
I've seen a lot of profiles asking for
Tall dark handsome, must be well endowed.
I'm blonde so I'm out of those ones 😆
Maybe 12 inches is an exaggeration
2 members like this comment.
Hedone - 17 Mar, 2023 - 02:03PM
Thanos
I’m not sure many women on here want 12 inches, I most certainly don’t. I prefer pleasure to pain
1 member likes this comment.
Thanos McM - 17 Mar, 2023 - 12:45PM
We all know the over 45s are the hottest!
I think it's the ladies that have unfair expectations of men, we can't all be tall dark and handsome with 12inches
1490598 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 12:45PM
Most people have something they don't like about there body. I think you'll find that those who workout regardless of how they look ate the most critical of themselves. I like to stay in shape for a multitude of reasons but I don't expect my partner to. I have met incredible woman of all shapes. It's about a confidence that makes them attractive and sexy.
1 member likes this comment.
Hedone - 17 Mar, 2023 - 11:50AM
P99
I’m not sure he’ll read your forum post, too busy with his inbox ☺️
2 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 11:46AM
Richie…
So you have a sack of replies in your in box …like to see that one 😂
Hedone - 17 Mar, 2023 - 11:41AM
Oh dear Richie
Is that photo getting you far? You look quite recognisable from it btw
1 member likes this comment.
Hedone - 17 Mar, 2023 - 10:35AM
Men and women. I hate the guys who say their ie needs to be below a size 14. Ahem you could be 6ft tall and be a size 14, it doesn’t mean you’re fat!
As far as I’m concerned it’s what you do with it and confidence that makes a person sexy and that my friends comes with age
3 members like this comment.
1579641 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 09:57AM
Naked attraction, everyone should have at least a half naked photo so we know what we’re getting, it’s all about selling yourself
1 member likes this comment.
Redfirefox - 17 Mar, 2023 - 09:29AM
In my short couple of months time on here I’ve found quite the opposite.
Everyone, man or woman, deserves the right to have their own body type preference. As so I.
I make it very clear what my idea of curvaceous is. I’m tits, ass, and some wobbly bits. Size 14-16. So the men that contact me know this already. Those who want a slim slender gym bunny would skip past me. As is their right to.
And yes, I’m one of ‘those’ women that genuinely gets insecure from time to time however so far every single guy on here has been very reassuring and complimentary. Sure they could be lying through their back teeth 😂 but it’s been a massive boost to my self confidence.
4 members like this comment.
1575239 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 09:08AM
the young model types might be eye candy but give me a real woman with curves ,humps and bumps etc So much sexier
1 member likes this comment.
Dave180 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 09:03AM
Certain men maybe but for me we all have humps & bumps & scars & that’s what makes us real. Would rather a real woman all day long
1587581 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 08:57AM
I think it's a mindset, I like someone who's healthy. That doesn't mean thin or skinny, or six packs with taught skin just conscious about your lifestyle. I'm very fit for my age, but I have la small amiunt of loose skin, it is what is and part of who I used to be.
We're not all built the same and being sexy is far more to do with a frame of mind and confidence than unrealistic magazine images.
Obesity though is not attractive, but that links back to health as it's probably someone who isn't that bothered about food intake or exercise.
1 member likes this comment.
1490598 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 08:47AM
I'm way beyond 45 and my body is looking pretty damn good thanks 😁
2 members like this comment.
1490598 - 17 Mar, 2023 - 08:46AM
Do women?
1 member likes this comment.
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