How long does it take?
I am interested in meeting someone and enjoy time together but there are so many messages etc. How long before greet to meet? Any advice on this and starting something would be great.
41 members like this.
Sorry, you can not comment on this.
Comments (587)
Somniata - 21 Oct, 2023 - 07:06PM
I quite like a few chats before meeting. I can pick up a lot from someone's written words. If a guy impresses me with his turn of phrase then chances are, we will hit it off in person. I will not meet up with someone who sends me a couple of crude messages riddled with bad grammar. I don't compromise on that and there's no need anyway, plenty of fish in the IE pond!
3 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 08:26PM
You will never really know unless you meet …if it doesn’t work move on …
In real life we are not sexually attracted to everyone so why should be any different here…?
4 members like this comment.
Dotty Green - 16 Oct, 2023 - 10:49AM
I have always tried to meet as early as possible for an initial meet, coffee or quick drink after work ... just to see if there is any connection, I do not see the point in endless messaging
3 members like this comment.
Échapper - 15 Oct, 2023 - 09:46PM
That's one hell of a problem. But, I can only speak as a man.
There is no ideal time. I've been cyber slapped for being too forward, but, more often, I've been cyber slapped for being too slow. I've no idea how to pitch myself sometimes. Most of the females profiles are quite conservative but turn out to be false.
Go for hell leather and don't worry about the consequences!
2 members like this comment.
Échapper - 15 Oct, 2023 - 09:46PM
That's one hell of a problem. But, I can only speak as a man.
There is no ideal time. I've been cyber slapped for being too forward, but, more often, I've been cyber slapped for being too slow. I've no idea how to pitch myself sometimes. Most of the females profiles are quite conservative but turn out to be false.
Go for hell leather and don't worry about the consequences!
LadyDe - 15 Oct, 2023 - 09:43PM
Enigma
Yep of course they are … if the woman, or men aren’t being caught obviously we all need to look and sometimes more than one place
Mister.E.Mann - 15 Oct, 2023 - 09:38PM
- Enigma
I guess I'm not "most men", then... I'm not greedy, I only want one...
Enigma.. - 15 Oct, 2023 - 09:01PM
I’ll bet a pound to a penny most men on this site are on other sites too… 😏.
Oops…. Did I actually type that out LOUD 😉😂😏🤔😝
2 members like this comment.
LadyDe - 15 Oct, 2023 - 08:05PM
It’s so tricky almost too much choice, if that makes sense . Yet you feel it’s nit fair to meet loads and then decide who’s the best for your fit …. I’m new to this so hard to navigate what to do
1 member likes this comment.
StuartB77 - 15 Oct, 2023 - 07:36PM
It’s all about sorting the wheat from the chaff…. That said, it’s hard work being a man on this site…
2 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 15 Oct, 2023 - 05:16PM
L&E - 03:53PM
Ciao Bella ... we do, we do! 😒
2 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 15 Oct, 2023 - 04:44PM
I think we will find all sorts on any online dating website, whether or not women pay.
All we need though, is one match.
Not difficult at all! 😋
2 members like this comment.
Legs&Eyes - 15 Oct, 2023 - 03:53PM
ExoticOrchid - 15 Oct, 2023 - 03:47PM
Hello Exotic!
Lol.. yes - and dont we know it, eh!
ExoticOrchid - 15 Oct, 2023 - 03:47PM
To be fair, there are men here who behave badly too even though they are paying.
Lots of keyboard warriors too, oh so brave in their anonymity!
Legs&Eyes - 15 Oct, 2023 - 03:38PM
JustMo - 15 Oct, 2023 - 01:38PM
Cos ladies here dont pay, sadly..... it encourages some Tinder-like behaviours amongst the female population.... another reason, alongside the whole equality debate - I personally think we should all pay... not just the guys.....
5 members like this comment.
Andylove4u - 15 Oct, 2023 - 02:55PM
I can’t wait to meet that special someone and get along with.
1 member likes this comment.
JustMo - 15 Oct, 2023 - 01:38PM
Hmm I am finding a lot of scammers using this site .
1 member likes this comment.
Onekissmore - 22 Aug, 2023 - 10:26PM
I think it’s important not to waste time, so exchange passwords.
If you like what you see, then just meet.
You can work the rest out from there .
7 members like this comment.
DiamondGeezer - 30 May, 2023 - 06:02PM
After a while of chatting back and forth, it can get boring and then i believe it never happens. If someone truly wants to find someone on IE, then they would arrange to meet asap, even for a coffee.
Talking and talking for weeks is rubbish and wrong.
9 members like this comment.
The Joy of Impotence - 25 May, 2023 - 06:28AM
Just keeping chatting forever.
Fantasy is always so much better than reality.
The brain really is the biggest sex organ of all.
Well, in my case it's my large intestine, but we won't go there.
1590175 - 21 Apr, 2023 - 07:04AM
Yorkieman
I guess with some people, being gently persuaded to Foxtrot Oscar doesn't work.
Therefore one must employ stronger measures.
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 20 Apr, 2023 - 10:55PM
yorkieman - 20 Apr, 2023 - 10:34PM
It’s not an outing, if the information is already out there, and has been for sometime. Anyway, careful what you wish for. Paternity suits are rife these days. I wish you a fruitful and bountiful rest of your journey on IE.
1 member likes this comment.
1594063 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 10:34PM
@boredhousewife,
Apologies for outing your freaky desires 🤪 and I have looked deep into my soul and do you know what I found, Satan, and he said unto me, go forth and spread thy seed far and wide, I think he thought I was a farmer.
TheBoredHousewife - 20 Apr, 2023 - 10:12PM
yorkieman - 20 Apr, 2023 - 08:43PM
I don’t think we even touched on pegging. Or indeed very much at all. But yes, dig deep, and maybe one day you will be able to say you have truly found yourself 😉
Ask Cheesypuff 😋
WillKr - 20 Apr, 2023 - 09:04PM
Deja vu
1 member likes this comment.
1594063 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 09:46PM
@Circe180,
It protects both of us, you were coming across a bit strong so fair play to the restraint you showed. 😂😂
1590175 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 09:21PM
Yorkieman
All I can say to that is thank god for the block function!!
But 10 out of 10 for effort Ill give you that.
1 member likes this comment.
1594063 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 09:14PM
As long as there is breath in my body I will continue to have fun and make women love me 🤣🤣🤣
Cheesypuff - 20 Apr, 2023 - 09:02PM
TheBoredHousewife - 20 Apr, 2023 - 07:56PM
🖐️ I'm ready
5 members like this comment.
1590175 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 08:55PM
Yorkieman
I see youre just as bad on here as you are in private messages. Do you ever give up?
1594063 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 08:43PM
@boredhousewife,
I know you have, and as much as I want to please you, I am just not ready to be pegged. Hope you understand 🤣
1590175 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 08:20PM
Radioman857
I guess it depends on what your introductory message says, please don't say "what is it you are looking for?"
Thats got to be the lamest message ever!
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 20 Apr, 2023 - 07:56PM
yorkieman - 20 Apr, 2023 - 05:25PM
I already told you my stance on DM 😏
1 member likes this comment.
1594063 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 05:25PM
Actually @BoredHousewife, got to check you are up for it first of all, consent in this day and age is important.
1594063 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 04:56PM
@boredhousewife,
You know I do and stop teasing me. My wrist is aching as it is.
TheBoredHousewife - 20 Apr, 2023 - 04:43PM
radioman857 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 03:13PM
I suppose it depends on whether your initial approach speaks to them, or if the profile you’re writing to is a genuine one.
I can’t speak for other women, but generally if I see someone wanting a woman who will present in sexy lingerie to him, I tune off. Not because I don’t possess those items, but because there is more to me than a skimpy item of clothing.
Good luck in your search 👍
2 members like this comment.
radioman857 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 03:13PM
hi, ive sent lots of messages without much coming my way , is there a secret to getting a reply
TheBoredHousewife - 20 Apr, 2023 - 11:58AM
yorkieman - 20 Apr, 2023 - 11:23AM
I'm gagging for him. Can't you tell?
Do you want in?
1594063 - 20 Apr, 2023 - 11:23AM
@BoredHousewife, I bet you are stalking him right now thinking, am I missing out :-)
TheBoredHousewife - 19 Apr, 2023 - 06:08PM
WillKr - 19 Apr, 2023 - 01:15PM
Pray share your success stories (plural) with us, man with profile brimming with elements of risque tension! 😉
4 members like this comment.
HoneyLipLover - 19 Apr, 2023 - 03:22PM
When I look at a profile suggested by 'Sara' I look at their height, what the female to be mostly shorter than me and then their preferred age bracket of suitor and finally their location. Will read more details after those, but the location is key to deciding whether to meet or not. Within 50 miles and you can begin to talk meetings very quickly. If distance means to travel with a stopover and that stopover does not necessarily mean together in the same room.
1590175 - 19 Apr, 2023 - 03:10PM
Willkr
I would take the "I get inundated within minutes of logging on with a blizzard of messages" line with a very large pinch of salt!
Maybe when you are a brand new profile it can be like pigeons round breadcrumbs, but that certainly doesnt last. There aren't that many people on here!
2 members like this comment.
WillKr - 19 Apr, 2023 - 01:15PM
Chris
you’re not getting her pulse pumping, there’s no sugar coating it.
A coffee, perhaps I’m the odd one out here but that sounds very dull.
If I was at first date stage I’d be suggesting or hinting at a provocative encounter.
Maybe I’m too forward but I have had success so must be doing something right.
Your profile reads a bit too errm, nice. What excitement do u bring? Where’s the element of risque tension?
I’m trying to help but know I can come accross clumsily
1 member likes this comment.
WillKr - 19 Apr, 2023 - 11:31AM
Springit
I have chatted to women on here who get a blizzard of messages, for example on logging-in they get inundated within minutes.
It can be confusing and thus they resort to short responses at least initially.
But once a rapport is established then it should just flow easily much of the time.
My experience is you get a minority of people who it just effortlessly flows with. I think its about having reciprocal mental patterns, you just get one another
3 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 19 Apr, 2023 - 09:15AM
Springit - 18 Apr, 2023 - 11:17PM
The only way to generate conversation is to offer something back. If both parties are already struggling to communicate pre-meet, then it‘s just going to get worse in real life.
4 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 19 Apr, 2023 - 07:23AM
Completely agree springit. If the conversation doesn’t feel equal and fun then 1. Why would you want to continue (unlikely to improve!) and 2. You’re probably a back up option.
Just stop chatting 😊
Springit - 18 Apr, 2023 - 11:17PM
Completely depends on circumstances I think. I do agree about one word/ sentence replies. If that’s all you’re getting , then the chances of meeting are practically zero. I do wonder what the point of sending a stream of short sentence replies is. If you can’t be bothered to write something at least a little meaningful / witty etc then why do it ? What information is being exchanged to further the cause ? My advice to any men on here is ( and women for that matter ) if you’re not feeling it because the replies to your longer messages are met with multiple short sentence replies, that should tell you all you need to know . Move on
8 members like this comment.
Johnnylondon - 18 Apr, 2023 - 11:16PM
I think there are two camps on this (if you discount the genuine time wasters)
1. If they've done this before and there's a delay or avoidance of meeting it's either that they have family commitments / trying to find the right excuses or that they're not interested.
OR
2. I think some people like the idea of an IE and even enjoy the messages coming through but when it comes to the crunch they're not sure they can go through with it. Or they get nervous and don't know how to approach it without seeming obvious (see paranoia)
Ok my maths is off I think that's technically four camps 😅
Either way I do think we're all adults and a simple message saying this would be helpful.
But to Kingsmans point stick to what you know and want don't go changing.
Hope it all works out for you.
3 members like this comment.
1460472 - 18 Apr, 2023 - 08:58PM
Chris 19389 you have to remember what she or anyone else is risking in this. There can be that chemistry and spark but if she's not feeling it completely she's not going to risk it. I believe there's someone for everyone so don't get disheartened when it's meant to be you'll know, don't change yourself or what you're doing she's out there somewhere.
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 18 Apr, 2023 - 06:33PM
Maybe she’d had a better offer Chris. If you’ve not met yet she’s under no obligation to tell you really. No answer is an answer…
1 member likes this comment.
1587581 - 18 Apr, 2023 - 06:12PM
I think that then comes back full circle. If it genuinely is that difficult to even message what remote possibility do you have meeting in real life?
There's no absolute answer, you chat and eventually you'll click with someone. At that point all the stops are pulled to make it work.
Then you find out how real it is.
6 members like this comment.
1590175 - 18 Apr, 2023 - 05:33PM
Chris19389
She may be busy with family at the weekend, or catching up with things if she works all week? Its not always that easy.
1 member likes this comment.
chris19389 - 18 Apr, 2023 - 05:07PM
I totally agree Dotty, it can obviously be difficult to fit a meeting in. It is quite awkward for me, so I get it.
BUT, it seems like some don’t even bother trying to figure out how to meet. Case in point I eventually asked someone out this weekend for coffee and … tumbleweed. I’m not truly expecting her to reply with any sort of commitment, or even frankly before the weekend.
Just for coffee! Zero leg overs! Not even a hint of wahey.
1 member likes this comment.
1594063 - 18 Apr, 2023 - 03:09PM
Fair comments and who am I to argue with experience.
ExoticOrchid - 18 Apr, 2023 - 02:54PM
Beckysharp - 02:06PM
Absolutely ... 👍
2 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 18 Apr, 2023 - 02:52PM
yorkieman - 18 Apr, 2023 - 12:15PM
Then perhaps the issue is with the person’s skill in making conversation, and two people being comfortable with each other, not that there is nothing to say 😏
2 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 18 Apr, 2023 - 02:06PM
This may shock you yorkieman but some of us have had affairs for years and still no tumbleweed!! Despite regular messaging
5 members like this comment.
1594063 - 18 Apr, 2023 - 12:15PM
If you exchange a ton of messages, what are you actually going to say to one another when you meet up? Come here often? weathers nice ..... tumbleweed blowing in the wind ....
Hedone - 18 Apr, 2023 - 11:31AM
Skylark
I’m sorry this has happened to you but…. DONT send graphic pics before a meet
Some guys here just want to collect pics or have dirty chat before any nye ruin to meet, and some want to meet but once they get the pics realise that having an affair is just not for them.
They may have the money for this site but they most certainly do not have the balls
3 members like this comment.
Lily of the Valley - 18 Apr, 2023 - 10:39AM
I like to meet within 2 weeks. Timewasters jog on!
1 member likes this comment.
Dotty Green - 18 Apr, 2023 - 10:22AM
chris19389 - 18 Apr, 2023 - 09:48AM
A lot does depend on working/personal life, for me it is pretty easy to meet someone at lunch time or on the way home - others it is not so easy, especially if you have kids.
I am of the ilk if we can't even arrange a quick meet for a coffee or drink what hope do you have for conducting an affair ..... Lots of time wasters and some just here for an ego boost sadly .....
1 member likes this comment.
chris19389 - 18 Apr, 2023 - 09:48AM
I don’t know the answer Skylark, I’m getting pretty frustrated too with women just happy to send a one liner message every few days. Trying to get a meeting is like pulling teeth!!
3 members like this comment.
1554570 - 11 Mar, 2023 - 06:27PM
I think that’s a how long is a piece of string question, I have recently-ish ended with a FWB ( on a different site), but very that was quite quick to meet, this site is much slower In my experience
Dotty Green - 10 Mar, 2023 - 09:19PM
Skylark_79 - 10 Mar, 2023 - 08:08PM
Sorry that happened …
I’m all for the first meeting just a drink or coffee … no pressure then … save your shopping goodies for when you feel comfortable and arrange what I call a proper meet …
Don’t rush - take your time …. I’m like Becky - enjoy flirting- but I’ll keep more intimate stuff for after a meet and even then I’m pretty careful.
Ghosting is the coward’s way out
3 members like this comment.
Redfirefox - 10 Mar, 2023 - 08:58PM
Skylark - oh shit that sucks big time. It’s happened to me too although I didn’t go shopping 😂 TF!!
Nearly put me off this site.
I’ve also done likewise to one guy. We exchanged messages- a couple of naughty ones but then he took a giant leap to what- the -fuckery and came out with something pretty vile. And I’m no prude. So I ghosted him.
Now Beckysharp here is on the ball, so take her advice. I’m just a bit too late for it as I’ve already exchanged raunchy texts. If my ie doesn’t show up for my meet up then I’ll know why.
Oh and Skylark you dodged a bullet. Good luck in your endeavour and gain back your confidence girl. From one red to another x
3 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 10 Mar, 2023 - 08:29PM
That’s why I don’t sext before a meet (well that and they don’t always look as you expected 😬)
Anyone who’s not serious about meeting and only wants to message will move on
Sorry that happened to you. Hope the purchases will be put to good use with someone waaaay better soon 😉
3 members like this comment.
1586116 - 10 Mar, 2023 - 08:08PM
Shyguy743621 - I know how it feels! I connected with someone this week. Really liked him, due to meet on Monday. I’d been shopping because you never know what would happen. We had been sending some pretty graphic messages which I loved. He said he wasn’t having second thoughts. Sent him a cheeky pic today and he has ghosted me saying “sorry this is a bit full on”. He’s obviously not ready for anything more than the casual sex he has had from here before! I’m just going to smile and carry on! He’s the one missing out!
1568156 - 28 Feb, 2023 - 08:20PM
D180, I guess you aren't receiving many replies?
ExoticOrchid - 28 Feb, 2023 - 07:49PM
D180 - 07:44PM
Read the profiles in your area/age group and message the ones you like ...
Dave180 - 28 Feb, 2023 - 07:44PM
How do you at least get to meet someone for a coffee, for me that’s the only way to see if there’s a spark between the 2 of you
Dotty Green - 17 Feb, 2023 - 08:08PM
Awww shyguy I’m so sorry !!!!
Can only echo what others have said … could be real … could be a fantasist… who knows
It’s gutting. Please don’t give up
This is the way - 17 Feb, 2023 - 07:45PM
Thanks for the comments all.
You’re all right really, although I prefer to think she wasn’t lying. We talked daily and there were some slightly spooky moments where it felt we connected.
It’s a shame but I know I just have to move on. I’m debating whether to renew my subscription but we’ll see. I need to think about it.
X
2 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 17 Feb, 2023 - 06:27PM
At least she had the decency to cancel rather than stand you up. And it’s a (hard) lesson that none of this is real until you’ve met.
2 members like this comment.
Hedone - 17 Feb, 2023 - 06:16PM
Shy guy
Sorry I don’t believe her.
She’s probably already started a new profile
Some women on here are full of BS and just want the fantasy but not the reality
Move on
Paula99 - 17 Feb, 2023 - 05:38PM
Shyguy…
If her husband did find out or she has just got cold feet it dosent really matter .. just get back in the saddle 😊😊😊
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 17 Feb, 2023 - 05:18PM
She’s lying. Sorry shyguy. Take a few days, then try again. Hopefully you’ll find someone 🤞
1 member likes this comment.
laugar164 - 17 Feb, 2023 - 05:16PM
Shyguy743621 - 17 Feb, 2023 - 04:30PM
I’m absolutely gutted.
I know you're gutted but just think about the poor woman who husband has found out I would suspect she more gutted and has a lot more to loose than being a bit put out
This is the way - 17 Feb, 2023 - 04:30PM
I’m absolutely gutted.
Was going to meet my IE today but she told me last night her husband found out about IE and he’s essentially locked her down. Then she told me today that we can’t have any contact at all.
I don’t know how to feel as I may have just been played by a fantasist (again) but I want to believe she was genuine and has been caught, unfortunately. Either way I’m really disappointed.
Sorry, I know you probably don’t want to hear this negativity, but I haven’t felt so much hope disappear so quickly for a long time.
Not sure if I’ll try again as this hasn’t been a nice experience so far. Well it was, until it came crashing down.
Anyway, peace everyone, have a good weekend and be good to one another. X
Cheesypuff - 14 Feb, 2023 - 11:41PM
Women are like buses on here in my experience, I'm just waiting until I get my bus pass for a free ride.
1 member likes this comment.
Paula99 - 14 Feb, 2023 - 04:23PM
Shyguy..
Well done with your prospective IE .. I hope it goes well for you ..💌
2 members like this comment.
Billynobragging - 14 Feb, 2023 - 11:35AM
As I said in my profile, just under 3mins if you want steam train locomotion. I can last longer if you want some gentle motion in the ocean action. Not much longer just to add.
This is the way - 14 Feb, 2023 - 10:11AM
I would just add I’m not being paid by IE for that ‘review’, although reading it again, it does sound like it!
Just wanted to convey that it can work but I guess a bit of luck and also listening to what folks on here say who’ve been on here a lot longer.
It is possible!
1 member likes this comment.
This is the way - 14 Feb, 2023 - 09:54AM
I joined IE in November/December last year (can’t remember exactly!). I didn’t pay for gold until January but I have to say when I did, it enabled me to actually begin to chat with ladies.
I have now ‘met’ someone who I’m planning to meet for real on Friday and so excited! I must admit I didn’t think I’d get to this stage with all the frustrations I’m sure everyone has faced.
But hopefully a good news story for us all!
4 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 12 Feb, 2023 - 06:29PM
Cuilleog - 12 Feb, 2023 - 05:23PM
You can sign up with Facebook but don't have to, I haven't as don't have Facebook.
1 member likes this comment.
1546412 - 12 Feb, 2023 - 05:23PM
Words with Friends is on Facebook, isn’t it?
Cheesypuff - 12 Feb, 2023 - 02:57PM
TheBoredHousewife - 12 Feb, 2023 - 02:15PM
No you're not! I've only just managed to beat you a couple of times, I've beaten everyone else quite easily so far, other than Dotty.
Cheesypuff - 12 Feb, 2023 - 02:53PM
Dotty Green - 12 Feb, 2023 - 02:20PM
I think you would probably beat me even if I wasn't messing about, that's a good score you're racking up!
Dotty Green - 12 Feb, 2023 - 02:20PM
Cheesypuff - 12 Feb, 2023 - 01:40PM
I’ve played another blinder … no hope in catching me
TBH - happy to play 👍🏻
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 12 Feb, 2023 - 02:15PM
Cheesypuff - 12 Feb, 2023 - 09:52AM
I’m so poor it’s embarrassing.
Anybody fancy an ego boost, hook me up on there 🤪
All inclusive gender-wise
4 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 12 Feb, 2023 - 01:40PM
I've won every game I've played so far, Dotty will be my first loss.
Handicapped by my own smut!
1 member likes this comment.
Cheesypuff - 12 Feb, 2023 - 01:38PM
Dotty Green - 12 Feb, 2023 - 10:58AM
I just played RASH for 12 points 😂
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 12 Feb, 2023 - 01:10PM
Ikr Paula!!
CP is trying to get me to join. Think half forum already in there 😂
Paula99 - 12 Feb, 2023 - 12:59PM
What is ‘words with friends’😊.. lol
Sounds like some kind of knitting 🧶 club 😂
1 member likes this comment.
Dotty Green - 12 Feb, 2023 - 10:58AM
Cheesypuff - 12 Feb, 2023 - 09:52AM
Haha you would’ve done better if hadn’t gone for smutty words 😀😀
Cheesypuff - 12 Feb, 2023 - 09:52AM
Paula99 - 12 Feb, 2023 - 07:59AM
Thanks Mrs P, I can still be found on Words with friends 2 👍
I'm spanking TBH as we speak and getting spanked by Dotty, it's fun.
2 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 12 Feb, 2023 - 07:59AM
Cheesy … your like a breath of fresh air..we love you 🥰
2 members like this comment.
1533992 - 11 Feb, 2023 - 11:35PM
Acpk55
Patience grasshopper........
1533992 - 11 Feb, 2023 - 09:56PM
Beeblebrox will return
2 members like this comment.
1554570 - 11 Feb, 2023 - 09:47PM
Not sure about there being so many messages, my inbox is about as empty as can be
1554570 - 11 Feb, 2023 - 09:47PM
Not sure about there being so many messages, my inbox is about as empty as can be
Cheesypuff - 11 Feb, 2023 - 07:31PM
ExoticOrchid - 11 Feb, 2023 - 07:20PM
Thanks EO, your kind words are really appreciated.
Signing off, Bored, Lonely and Still Horny as fuck.
1 member likes this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 11 Feb, 2023 - 07:20PM
Cheesy ... you can still post here anyway so please keep us amused to counter all the bores!
The ladies on IE will be utterly bereft you can't message them privately though.
3 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 11 Feb, 2023 - 06:18PM
laugar164 - 11 Feb, 2023 - 06:13PM
There'll always be a place for a mass debate
Cheesypuff - 11 Feb, 2023 - 06:16PM
Beckysharp - 11 Feb, 2023 - 06:01PM
Ditto, until our genitals bump together 💗
FluffyClouds - 10 Feb, 2023 - 03:35PM
BeckySharp -
Glad you've got back together, have fun x
1 member likes this comment.
FluffyClouds - 10 Feb, 2023 - 03:33PM
Knightleyxx -
I agree where lavatories are concerned though tbh I've not seen one on a pic, part of a bathroom yes.
Most people on here will do their own photos and it's sufficient. I don't need to see professionally paid for photos to decide whether I'm attracted or not. Men are successful on here without them. But I have seen some scruffy pictures where personal maintenance leaves a lot to be desired and some strange clothing.
1 member likes this comment.
1579230 - 09 Feb, 2023 - 11:07PM
Back to the photos!
All points true. But I think that blokes have a much higher hurdle to get over than the ladies. I see people saying how hard it is to get a reply. So for myself, I'd suggest working on all the limiting factors over which you have control, and a half decent photo is one of those. You read of people standing in public lavatories and things, or cropped from a picture with their missus. That's just lazy and inconsiderate. But hey, what's the old saying, fail to prepare, then prepare to fail. Shack un, as they say!
2 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 09 Feb, 2023 - 10:36PM
Beckysharp - 09 Feb, 2023 - 10:26PM
You know him best, and I hope he continues to give you a very satisfying back scratch for a long time to come! 😁
1 member likes this comment.
Cheesypuff - 09 Feb, 2023 - 10:28PM
Beckysharp - 09 Feb, 2023 - 10:07PM
What makes you think I would stump up for a caravan! I've offered you my tent, you should be grateful ⛺
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 09 Feb, 2023 - 10:26PM
I’m glad it’s not just me TBH!!! Sometimes scratching an itch just makes it more itchy 😂😂 (possibly a bad example to use!)
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 09 Feb, 2023 - 10:23PM
Happy birthday month DG! I hope he spoils you 😊
Becky
Need soooo much more! We were on last week, and that’s all I’ve thought about most of this week. Down girls! Down! 🐕 🤪
1 member likes this comment.
Cheesypuff - 09 Feb, 2023 - 10:02PM
Beckysharp - 09 Feb, 2023 - 09:50PM
I feel a mini break to Norfolk coming on
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 09 Feb, 2023 - 09:50PM
Yay to frolic February TBH! Hope you’ll be enjoying soon too 😉
Happy birthday (month) DG 🍰 and have fun tomorrow sounds like you deserve it
My meet was definitely great stress relief. Trouble is I’ve been craving more ever since 🙈
Dotty Green - 09 Feb, 2023 - 09:33PM
TheBoredHousewife - 09 Feb, 2023 - 08:38PM
😘😝
Thanks - also birthday month 🥳 (also in the real world it’s super stressful Feb 😂) roll on tomorrow 😉
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 09 Feb, 2023 - 08:38PM
Nice kick off to Frolic February BS, DG et al.🥂🍸
2 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 09 Feb, 2023 - 07:12PM
Video chats are good, much harder to fake what you look like than a pic.
Dotty Green - 09 Feb, 2023 - 06:32PM
Thanks Becky and EO - glad you had fun ! You have no idea how much I need tomorrow!! Life is very busy and stressy so need to shut it all away - yups picnic ready too Becky x
EO yups agree with keeping it real … also sone might say you look younger
Knightleyxx - 09 Feb, 2023 - 03:21PM
Ah if it works! I had 2 guys with professional photos one lied about his age the other had an affair with then ghosted me 😂 so I’ll stick to making my judgement once we’ve met and not put too much into a photo x
2 members like this comment.
laugar164 - 09 Feb, 2023 - 05:52PM
Paula99 - 09 Feb, 2023 - 05:25PM
And don't forget the filters and apps people can use
1 member likes this comment.
Paula99 - 09 Feb, 2023 - 05:25PM
I P knightly …😉
Having professional images done isn’t a guarantee that you will tick the box as so to speak .. they are done under special lighting and studio conditions .. don’t be fooled x
1 member likes this comment.
Cheesypuff - 09 Feb, 2023 - 04:43PM
Knightleyxx - 09 Feb, 2023 - 01:59PM
The most recent professional photos I have are my school ones from when I was 12, not sure my Mum would be too impressed with me putting them on the internet to get laid.
2 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 09 Feb, 2023 - 04:40PM
Goodkitty - 09 Feb, 2023 - 04:30PM
How many times have I told you posting on the forum is covered by the restraining order!
2 members like this comment.
Goodkitty - 09 Feb, 2023 - 04:30PM
I really missed the love of my life on here. Met twice, adored him, but completely lost details when I lost my phone . I only know his first name ,but discretion stops me putting an ad in here. My lifetime missed opportunity., he can’t contact me either.
1 member likes this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 09 Feb, 2023 - 04:19PM
DG - 02:56PM
Woo Hoo 🍾🥂🍇🍓🍒
Kxx - 03:21PM
I'm sure professional photos are great but unless the person actually resembles the photos in person, it will only lead to disappointment.
I have unfiltered, clear selfies here and everyone who's met me says I look just like my selfies if not even better. I'd rather people think that than have fabulous photos and then be disappointed when they meet me in person. 🤷🏻♀️
4 members like this comment.
1579230 - 09 Feb, 2023 - 03:21PM
@ Dotty Green - 09 Feb, 2023 - 02:56PM
Photos: Dotty, you're lucky! My first time on here, I would do really well chatting until it came time to share photos, when there would usually be a sudden silence as some lucky lady blanched at my selfies! I had some taken professionally, and never looked back.
Bottom line, for myself I think that if one expects to find someone lovely, one should put the effort in and be prepared to invest. For the chaps, we're spending quite alot just be be able to message, so a bit more for decent photos, for some of us, is a good investment.
GK xx
2 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 09 Feb, 2023 - 03:03PM
Enjoy Dotty!! 🥂
I had a date on Tuesday. Lots of fun reconnecting again, but decadent it was not 😂
2 members like this comment.
Dotty Green - 09 Feb, 2023 - 02:56PM
Knightleyxx - 09 Feb, 2023 - 01:59PM
Pay for photos … I actually have sone photos i had taken when I was 50… they’re fabulous! Cost a fortune! Sorry I literally when I’m looking have one photo… and I’m certainly not paying for a professional portfolio for my profile on here 😂😂
Until you meet in person you’ll never know !
Anyway decadent date day tomorrow 🥂🥳😍👍🏻
3 members like this comment.
1579230 - 09 Feb, 2023 - 01:59PM
Back on here after a lovely affair, getting ready to relaunch, but FWIW here's my thoughts:
1. What's the rush? Take your time. Prepare a decent profile, read a few others, see what they're saying.
2. Don't use auto-generated profiles. They're rubbish. What exactly does "Batman by night" actually mean?!
3. Get some decent photos. Dodgy selfies are not good enough, pay for some decent ones if you need to.
4. Try not to sound desperate. Keep it clean, and don't rush her. If she wants to sext, follow her lead.
6. There are plenty of lovely ladies here who are real.
7. And keep it real. Pretending to be something you're not will backfire. Badly. And ladies, that works both ways. I had to laugh - a lady who was "55" last time I was here is now apparently 40.
8. Enjoy yourself - we're here to have fun.
Just my thoughts - feel free to ignore!
George Knightley xx
3 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 08 Feb, 2023 - 09:35PM
Beckysharp - 08 Feb, 2023 - 08:33PM
Thanks Beck's, Shoot for the Moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.
Cheesypuff - 08 Feb, 2023 - 08:14PM
J1on1d - 08 Feb, 2023 - 07:04PM
Haha I like that, I've never banged anyone at caravan club though. Not yet.
1533992 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 08:06PM
Flange?
As in pipework connections?
J1on1d - 08 Feb, 2023 - 07:04PM
I have just realised who Cheesypuff is; obvious when I think of it……Jay off “Inbetweeners” If you don’t know who that is , just one episode will say it all 😂😂
3 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 08 Feb, 2023 - 06:44PM
Shineon21 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 06:12PM
You need to get chatting to Becky mate, exchanged a few messages with her and now I'm drowning in flange. Get in there now before she starts charging!
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 08 Feb, 2023 - 06:26PM
Ah rubbish @shineon21. I think I remember you posting before. The cheeky chappy banter guy! And I said you sounded too cheerful 😂
Hope you find some good bants soon 😉
1480089 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 06:12PM
It’s taking me soooooooooo long not sure what I’m doing wrong!!?! 🙈
1533992 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 05:44PM
Becky
It said take the bins out you lazy sod
1 member likes this comment.
1533992 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 03:18PM
Paula 99
Well if nothing else it will give his piles a good shake up.
Paula99 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 02:41PM
Maybe you need to sit on the washing machine in your underwear…you may get a your birthday and Christmas all at once .. 😂😂
1 member likes this comment.
1536788 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 12:17PM
J1on1d - yeah she’s on here. You should have seen the message she sent me….
1 member likes this comment.
J1on1d - 08 Feb, 2023 - 11:37AM
PooleT69 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 11:29AM
If that is happening - I think you will find she may also be on this site as she obviously feels she is not getting enough from you. Maybe you need to spend more time with her rather than look here.
2 members like this comment.
1533992 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 11:33AM
Preumably on a fast spin with an off centre load
Rufus 1600 rpm
1536788 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 11:29AM
What is it with washing machines ? The number of times I’ve got home to find my wife say on it in just her underwear…
1533992 - 08 Feb, 2023 - 11:00AM
Just received a message from a candidate with a profile pic where she was stood in her pants and stockings and suspenders next to her washing machine ........i actually found the washing machine more interesting ...ha ha
Rufus front loader
1579213 - 25 Jan, 2023 - 08:00PM
JamieDodger67 beat me to it although his timings are on the conservative side.
Hedone - 19 Jan, 2023 - 06:23PM
Marlen, you’re actually spot on. Fantasist central 🙄
1 member likes this comment.
Dotty Green - 19 Jan, 2023 - 12:25PM
For me, I like a few messages see if we get on, fairly early PW exchange and if all looks good a coffee or after work drink - no pressure.
Anyone I have just had endless conversations with just fizzles out or you end up as mates ......
This is the way - 19 Jan, 2023 - 11:49AM
J1on1d
Yeah. I don’t want to be perceived as a moaning Minnie, but I agree there should be some better trial offers for people like us, who need a little more reassurance.
And yes, this forum seems to mess with predictive text. Have to be quite careful!
1 member likes this comment.
J1on1d - 19 Jan, 2023 - 11:39AM
That should have said UNcalculated risks. Not sure if it is my bad typing but autocorrect seems to be very active when commenting in this forum 😂
J1on1d - 19 Jan, 2023 - 11:36AM
Marlen,
That may be your experience but not mine (so far). Trying to keep it in the context of the “person” who asked the question; as you explore and experience you will find a way that works for you. Everybody has an opinion but end of the day it is what works for you. My overall advise would be don’t take I calculated risks.
1 member likes this comment.
J1on1d - 19 Jan, 2023 - 11:26AM
Shyguy,
I am in your position, I completely agree with your concerns and issues around payment - trial or even a single week at a reasonable cost would make things smoother and easier.
TBH,
Not that I could see the details but from the profiles and the distance I got the same impression but thanks for the warning.
1 member likes this comment.
Marlen - 19 Jan, 2023 - 10:39AM
Guys, if you have loads of message exchanges, but no meeting date...you're dealing with a fantasist. If you like the banter, then just carry on. If you actually want to meet then it should happen sooner rather than later. You're never gonna know, till you see the whites of their eyes🤣
4 members like this comment.
1577383 - 19 Jan, 2023 - 12:06AM
I do like the idea of lots of texting and messages before meeting to make sure we could be compatible but also because it’s fun. I’m sure there are plenty of women here who feel the same. Only if I think I would fancy her though so I would need to see her pictures fairly early if she was willing to share. If we hit it off then meeting for the first time is still good. If not we don’t need to bother !
1 member likes this comment.
Dom services - 18 Jan, 2023 - 07:16PM
How long does it take?
An age it’s s poor scene at present and some people really need to learn some manners and how to have a conversation as I’m amazed at the one sentence few word replies you get. Might be better booking an escort for an hour pay as you go.. haha
Hedone - 18 Jan, 2023 - 05:51PM
Oh cheesy I completely agree with you. The women here are the definitely the stronger sex when it comes to fantasy land!
1 member likes this comment.
jamieDodger67 - 18 Jan, 2023 - 04:43PM
30 seconds including foreplay .. oh crap, wrong thread
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 18 Jan, 2023 - 11:28AM
Absolutely agree the differences between city and rural are really huge.
I live rurally and my experience very similar to Cheesy’s (minus the sex parties he mentioned 😂). I’d have to travel quite far for a drink to avoid seeing someone I know, so could never do this easily at lunch time or after work. Like him, a first meet was often (but not always) a meet in a hotel bar with an option to take it further if we both want to.
3 members like this comment.
This is the way - 18 Jan, 2023 - 10:59AM
TBH - 10.47am
Thanks for the words of advice and encouragement.
I can see there are some good ‘actual’ people here and the forum is definitely chief in making me see this.
I guess until I take the plunge
TheBoredHousewife - 18 Jan, 2023 - 10:59AM
Addendum to my last message, in case it wasn’t clear. I meant men that I have spoken to recently seem to be successful with meets 😊 I have no idea how the women are doing apart from what is declared on the forum.
Dotty Green - 18 Jan, 2023 - 10:57AM
@Cheesypuff - yes that makes sense, for me very easy to meet for drinks to chat before booking hotels
@WR - ugh that sucks! Never had a complete no show (obv you do worry about it) had a couple of initial meetings that would never go further. No shows and ghosts .... ugh
I do think a lot of how/when you meet could have something to do with location in large cities where people commute it is often so easy to fit in a coffee or drink at lunch or afterwork without arousing suspicion. I take Cheesy's point on board about being further afield if you have taken the time to meet up and it has taken planning etc - it is good to have the room there on the back burner. Still for me I really do prefer (no matter how attracted I am to the person) to at least have one or two meets before we do the hotel. However if you want to rip each others clothes off within 5 mins YOU BLOOMING GO FOR IT! AND HAVE FUN!!
2 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 18 Jan, 2023 - 10:49AM
Some men are the same @cheesypuff. Some guys from other side of country seem desperate to see photo. Never understood why (I don’t share obviously)
2 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 18 Jan, 2023 - 10:47AM
Shyguy743621 - 18 Jan, 2023 - 10:25AM
Just make sure they are real messages that you’re getting. The system has a knack of sending you ‘messages’ just to entice you to sign up.
Plenty of genuine females out there though. Those that I’ve spoken to recently seem to have got dates lined up or managed to meet.
1 member likes this comment.
Cheesypuff - 18 Jan, 2023 - 10:46AM
Beckysharp - 18 Jan, 2023 - 08:55AM
Some women can be pretty similar to men, I never sext early on as there's women who are just looking for that and don't really want to meet, if you don't do it then it filters them out pretty quickly.
I think talking about likes and preferences in bed is a bit different to sexting though, I like to do a little of that to get an idea if we're at least on the same page with sexual preferences.
4 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 18 Jan, 2023 - 10:41AM
Intoxicate Your Mind - 18 Jan, 2023
There's plenty of women on here who just want to chat and get off on receiving attention too, usually they message from a fair distance away and through experience I can usually spot them pretty quickly now.
This is the way - 18 Jan, 2023 - 10:25AM
TBH - 8.36am
WR - 11.19pm
That really sucks, so sorry, especially TBH, I can’t imagine what a nightmare that must have been!
I’m in agreement about getting to know someone ‘virtually’ first although I haven’t taken the plunge here yet.
Would love to answer the messages I’ve received! Damn paywall and no free introductory offer!
Just trying to make sure it’s for me before I do.
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 18 Jan, 2023 - 08:55AM
Also agree with TBH and J1. Prefer ensuring we click virtually before investing in a meet. I never share explicit photos or sext pre meet (after lessons learned!) so that puts off those just after that ime.
4 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 18 Jan, 2023 - 08:36AM
Shyguy743621 - 17 Jan, 2023 - 10:21PM
Yup. And it sucks. One of the no shows almost cost me my marriage (I won’t elaborate on it in public).
J1
I am in your camp. I find a lot more value getting to know a person virtually first. Friendship, even a virtual one, is foremost for me, and perfectly fine. If there is a connection, we will both know. If things are to remain within friendzone, then I am more than happy to talk about anything apart from meeting up for sex.
2 members like this comment.
Hedone - 18 Jan, 2023 - 06:34AM
J1
Yes I get what you are saying, BUT I find there are plenty on here who just want to chat and have no intention or meeting, and those that just want to exchange sexy pics, texts before a meet are definitely a NO NO. I’ve been there done that. I’m bored with it, why should I help some ball less bloke get off on a few text messages/sexy exchange of pics when they want a helping hand🙄
1 member likes this comment.
1568156 - 17 Jan, 2023 - 11:19PM
Stood outside Hinckley Island Hotel for coffee date, only to see my date drive past me,
then she phones me to say she couldn't do it and then drives off. Really crap experience.
This is the way - 17 Jan, 2023 - 10:21PM
J1on1d makes an interesting point about trust.
Has anyone here been badly burned (hope not btw) or turned up at the meeting place and the other party hasn’t shown up?
Lots of leaps of faith involved here, but this might be the biggest initial one!
2 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 17 Jan, 2023 - 09:26PM
Dotty Green - 17 Jan, 2023 - 08:55PM
I prefer hotel on a first meet if possible, I know pretty quickly if I want someone and it's frustrating if you both feel that way but can't do anything about it.
That's not such an issue if you live close by but when you've had to travel and maybe taken a day out to be able to meet then you want to make the most of it.
If I was meeting someone more locally then just a social with no potential of anything else happening is ok, that just doesn't happen much out here in the back of beyond, unfortunately.
Cheesypuff - 17 Jan, 2023 - 09:25PM
Dotty Green - 17 Jan, 2023 - 08:55PM
I prefer hotel on a first meet if possible, I know pretty quickly if I want someone and it's frustrating if you both feel that way but can't do anything about it.
That's not such an issue if you live close by but when you've had to travel and maybe taken a day out to be able to meet then you want to make the most of it.
If I was meeting someone more locally then just a social with no potential of anything else happening is ok, that just doesn't happen much out here in the back of beyond, unfortunately.
1 member likes this comment.
J1on1d - 17 Jan, 2023 - 09:12PM
IYM,
But again, that is the point, it does work for some people. It is not true that it never works - I have my own examples. It depends what you message about. Sending sexy messages, then maybe speaking through an app. if your attitude/view/opinion is that it never works then it probably won’t, but for the person who asked the original question, spending time to get to know each other first can be fun. For me it is also a safety thing. if somebody reads my profile then says let’s meet next week, alarm bells go off for me. I want to be certain I know enough about the person that I can trust them. That’s just me. I don’t want to rush into anything blindly. Whichever way you tick there will be somebody that ticks the same way.
1 member likes this comment.
Dotty Green - 17 Jan, 2023 - 08:55PM
Cheesypuff - 17 Jan, 2023 - 08:27PM
Very similar- although never done hotel on first meet.
Definitely agree endless messages fizzle or you are just mates 😂
Cheesypuff - 17 Jan, 2023 - 08:27PM
All mine have been a social meet first then hotel second meet, or hotel first meet on the understanding we'll have a drink in the bar and if we get on then go to the room. We've always gone to the room 😂.
I would be happy to have more socials first if we both had the time and opportunity but being in a rural area there's usually traveling involved ect, so it probably moves a bit faster than if it was easy to meet for a quick drink.
Anybody I've messaged for too long before meeting the interest has fizzled out.
3 members like this comment.
Hedone - 17 Jan, 2023 - 06:27PM
Do not chat for ages and drag it on, it never works, people get swayed or get bored, or life gets in the way, message then meet quickly…unless of course you’re just in here for chit chat pen pal rubbish 🙄
1 member likes this comment.
J1on1d - 17 Jan, 2023 - 05:33PM
DG
This is what I mean you have I a way it works for you but I have had 3 affairs that resulted from lots of messaging and getting to know each other first. All of them good experiences.
I have had other affairs that happened with no messaging because we happened to meet in person not on a website and it was a chance meeting and there was an incredible spark.
So even for me there is no consistency - and that I guess is my point.
Everybody has to do what works for them and it won’t be the same every time.
Xx
1 member likes this comment.
This is the way - 17 Jan, 2023 - 09:06AM
I guess the challenge is that everyone on here will have different wants and needs, be they very different or even just slightly so.
I would expect a bit of messaging to see if you actually like each other’s communication ‘style’ and attitude.
Then a short meet for coffee would be crucial in order to see the whites of each others eyes. I think this stage is probably the most pivotal and you’ll know whether you want to pursue a relationship or not.
I guess it’s important to be honest if, after this, it’s not for you, so that you can both move on.
How long would all this take? Depends on distance and each persons life situation, so impossible to quantify!
Could be a few days, could be a few weeks!
Could be….worth it!
2 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 17 Jan, 2023 - 08:20AM
Dotty …
I agree…your posts are always concise and grounded.. 👍
2 members like this comment.
Dotty Green - 17 Jan, 2023 - 06:29AM
J1on1d - 16 Jan, 2023 - 09:59PM
For me unless we do that initial meeting (coffee/drink) fairly quickly I find it never happens. Most of my successful IEs have been - let’s meet next week …. And I’ve done it - it’s only coffee … it’s only the first meet … if you click I normally meet a couple of other times before we take the plunge - I’m never rushed nor pushed into a situation. If there is no spark you’ve spent half an hour having a coffee and a chat nothing lost.
Again is this easier for me working/living in London or a big city - easy to arrange after work or at lunch time ?
Fire-Bird - 17 Jan, 2023 - 12:11AM
It's different horses for courses! Allowing for work, family and any other commitments they have...can you really put a time limit on it! Maybe it's even wise to chat for a little while before meeting then at least you'll know if you will click. As for how long is 'a while' how long is a piece of string?
J1on1d - 16 Jan, 2023 - 09:59PM
Maybe this has already been said but like many questions on the forums, there is no right or wrong. You really have to do what you feel is right for you. If it is taking too long to meet in your view, maybe the other person is not a “meeter” and if you are getting frustrated then time to tell them politely that if they don’t want to meet, this is not working for you and look elsewhere. Sometimes it can take a short while to get the engine revving and when the time is right you will both know it. The problem with asking that kind of question is that you will get so many opinions that you won’t be any better off. I haven’t answered your question but I don’t think I can as it is down to what you and your messager want. good luck!
2 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 16 Jan, 2023 - 07:08PM
ExoticOrchid - 16 Jan, 2023 - 05:25PM
I don't ask them in case they say they don't like it, as I would feel guilty doing it then and that would ruin it for me. Ignorance is literally bliss 😁
2 members like this comment.
Eliza Boo - 16 Jan, 2023 - 06:06PM
Herbal tea infusions....s'all I'm saying (check out Bird and Blend, surprisingly good!) 😉 I had never drank tea before my I.E - he converted me.
ExoticOrchid - 16 Jan, 2023 - 05:25PM
Cp - 01:52PM
What's the feedback from your ladies ... does it really improve the taste??? 🍍
Asking for a friend.
3 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 16 Jan, 2023 - 01:52PM
Pineapple juice, lots of pineapple juice.
4 members like this comment.
laugar164 - 16 Jan, 2023 - 12:09PM
Beckysharp
Can I tempt you with a premier inn 😈😉and a earl grey tea
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 16 Jan, 2023 - 11:45AM
Beckysharp - 16 Jan, 2023 - 11:13AM
Love my tea
And the Travelodge chairs are rather sturdy 😉😁😂
2 members like this comment.
Beckysharp - 16 Jan, 2023 - 11:13AM
Some people on here sound super sophisticated- love it!! 🍹 🥂🍸
I’m a tea and travelodge girl myself 🙈😂
3 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 16 Jan, 2023 - 10:57AM
DG - 10:21AM
Ooh yes ... got a taste for Aperol Spritz in Venice ...
2 members like this comment.
Dotty Green - 16 Jan, 2023 - 10:21AM
I am so not a gin girl! Aperol Spritz for me! followed by Prosecco !
laugar164 - 16 Jan, 2023 - 08:57AM
My profile pic is me holding a Vespa cocktail by lake Garda
1 member likes this comment.
This is the way - 15 Jan, 2023 - 11:40PM
Cocktails are great. Love a Martini. Just don’t get started on the constituents! 😉
ExoticOrchid - 15 Jan, 2023 - 11:12PM
w1 ... 09:51PM
How about Porn Star Martini ... my current favourite. 🍸🍹
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 09:56PM
wijjika1 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 09:51PM
I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned how fond I am of you Mr Wijjika and how much I enjoy your posts.
2 members like this comment.
wijjika1 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 09:51PM
I own an alcohol company - bottled cocktails! So my bias is always toward vodka or rum based drinks
The humble pina colada is one of the very best
J
1 member likes this comment.
Eliza Boo - 15 Jan, 2023 - 09:43PM
(TBH...have had a lemon Slipsmith tonight!) Xx
1 member likes this comment.
Eliza Boo - 15 Jan, 2023 - 09:41PM
Gin Mare and Silent Pool 🩵! Also Zymurgorium violet gin 💜 (acquired taste though, and they do a Rose one too 🩷)
TheBoredHousewife - 15 Jan, 2023 - 08:53PM
It has to be Tanqueray or Sipsmith
1 member likes this comment.
Paula99 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 07:58PM
Hawkridge London Dry Gin?
I am not a big fan of certain flavours…
Not a fan of flavoured tonics either
laugar164 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 07:40PM
@paula
I love gin have you tried aphrodisiac gin it's very moorish
1574117 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 06:49PM
The gents on this site are on a meter which is expensive to feed and I think sometimes we push too hard and send twenty messages when just the initial hello will do ....
1 member likes this comment.
Dotty Green - 15 Jan, 2023 - 03:38PM
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:32PM
Yups ..
Obv my meets are in central London (I’m not that affluent to live there) but 20 mins travel time. I’ve had IEs who live further afield but work in town.
Re your recent IE - def alarm bells … have to realise we each have lives.
Regarding the OP - I try and meet initially for drinks or coffee within the first week or so, otherwise I tend to find it never happens. I’d rather take the bull by the horns so to speak and meet to see if there is a spark, if you can’t find the time to do that, have you got time for an affair 🤷🏻♀️
Hedone - 15 Jan, 2023 - 03:28PM
The hot ones are normally the most scariest
1 member likes this comment.
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 03:01PM
TheBoredHousewife - 15 Jan, 2023
Getting jealous and kicking off when I wasn't able to message one day because I was spending time with my wife was enough of a warning sign to call it a day. That was was the straw that broke the camels back, there was other stuff too. Was a shame as she was super hot! 😂
2 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 15 Jan, 2023 - 02:49PM
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:22PM
I can understand if a few months in and could be a little bubble for you both.
After just 2 meets……scary! Some people aren’t even exclusive yet after 2 meets!
1568156 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 02:26PM
In the words of Bernie Taupin who wrote the lyrics.
"It's going to take a long, long time"
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:32PM
Dotty Green - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:19PM
Yeah I can imagine, funny thing is that my preference of meeting within an hour or so of Norwich actually opens up the possibility of meeting someone from London if they're willing to travel for a similar time. It won't happen because they have no need to, plenty of options more locally for them.
3 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:28PM
Intoxicate Your Mind - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:20PM
I don't think you're being very nice now tbh, I didn't say I'll take anyone. But I think you know what I meant.
2 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:22PM
TheBoredHousewife - 15 Jan, 2023
Maybe it is, although I've done ok at finding them in the past.
You would be surprised, I've already had to end something with an IE just before Christmas as only after a couple of meets she started to "like me too much" in her words and got a bit ott.
Hedone - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:20PM
Haha cheesy so literally you’ll take the ‘one’ who isn’t! Not fussy then
Dotty Green - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:19PM
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:05PM
Another plus living in London - good dayuse hotels ….
Definitely makes things easier!
TheBoredHousewife - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:09PM
CP
Finding a splinter in a haystack then! Somehow I don’t think you’ll need to worry about attachment issues with this sort of arrangement 😉
1 member likes this comment.
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:05PM
Dotty Green - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:50PM
Yep 100%, I wish more hotels offered day rooms though, I like going to nice places and making a meet feel a bit special but there's not many options for nice hotels, at least around here.
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 01:00PM
Intoxicate Your Mind - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:30PM
Oh I know I did and it is, so I'm not doing it again. But even if only meeting an IE for an evening every couple of weeks that's an evening I would have probably spent seeing a mate or at the football, it's about priorities.
My free time for regularly seeing an IE is a week day, that's when my social life with friends is non existent as they generally work. I appreciate that also means most potential IE's are at work too, but I only need one who isn't.
1 member likes this comment.
Dotty Green - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:50PM
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:28PM
Exactly!!! Timing…. I’m quite lucky to be able to make afternoons work. I love the feeling of shutting the world away for a secret fun afternoon
Hedone - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:46PM
I do wonder why divorced men come on here. My last encounter with a divorcee was unbelievable
We met on a first date and it went well, before the second date he announced that he was also on a normal dating site, was looking for a new normal relationship but also wanted me as his IE bit on the side (his words!)
There was no second date. Does anyone think this is acceptable because I certainly didn’t and in fact I felt sorry for whoever was going to be his ‘normal’ date
3 members like this comment.
Hedone - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:30PM
Cheesy perhaps you spent too much time in the evenings with your ex ie then?
It’s called balance and your fault alone that you missed out on social time with other people
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:28PM
Dotty Green - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:08PM
I agree about not wanting to rush or feel rushed, I don't arrange any sort of meet unless there's going to be enough time to feel relaxed. There's nothing worse than the feeling that someone has to be somewhere else and you're against the clock, it takes any enjoyment away from it.
1 member likes this comment.
1483842 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:26PM
Charlieboy1970 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 10:54AM
Now there's a loaded question.
Welcome sweetheart.
RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!
Only joking. The only advise I can give you at this stage is read the whole of the flirt forum. You will get an idea of what the women really think and want. Then when you stumble across their profile you will have a more comprehensive viewpoint of how their minds work and whats missing from their profiles. There is a lot of advice on keeping you and your family, phone and affair safe. Good luck. I'm going to take a look at your profile and heres hoping it's not auto generated as us ladies take time to write about what makes us tick....almost 💋
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:16PM
Intoxicate Your Mind - 15 Jan, 2023 - 11:55AM
It's exactly because I have a busy separate social life that I don't really want to do that. In the past I spent many evenings, nights away, weekends and holidays with my ex, which inevitably meant I started to miss get togethers with friends, family and all sorts of social events. The odd evening meet with an IE isn't totally out of the question but I'm not going to commit to it being a regular thing as seeing my friends and family is more important to me.
I'm in a fortunate position where I don't have to work full time anymore, having a day free in the week to myself is a luxury I've worked hard for, I'm not meant to be at work or anywhere else that day. It would be nice to have someone to spend that day with sometimes but I appreciate not everyone is so fortunate or has the same sort of schedule.
I can't speak for other guys on here but I have lots of pairs of trousers, althoughI prefer shorts.
2 members like this comment.
1567998 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:11PM
As someone fairly new to this I agree with both sides of the coin! It seems if you don’t live in London you’re already at a major disadvantage for those spontaneous meets and they require a bit more planning to make happen?
I mean, the whole point of this site is to meet someone, but getting a conversation going in the first place seems to be the really tricky bit! I mean, how do you even start a conversation differently every time when you have to send loads of messages? (I’m sure that’s already another forum chat!)
I mean, it takes a while before I can get to the stage where women run to the hills after seeing my pics…!
1 member likes this comment.
Dotty Green - 15 Jan, 2023 - 12:08PM
Intoxicate Your Mind - 15 Jan, 2023
Whilst my afternoon delight are in the afternoon, I’ve met my IE for drinks or dinner in the evening - and we’ll normally stay out for a drink after into the evening.
Afternoons suit me - but I’d be a bit peeved if after the afternoon they want to rush off.
Other IE affairs I’ve spent evenings together…
I also think it can be hard if you work full time to take afternoons off …. So totally agree you need to have flexibility and availability before you embark on this journey
Hedone - 15 Jan, 2023 - 11:55AM
Cheesy
How about taking the novel approach of going out in the evening and meeting then
I’m fed up of some men in here who don’t have the balls to have a separate social life and go out in the evening rather than meet during the day when you’re supposed to be at work
I’m sorry I may be harsh but I do think men like that definitively don’t wear the trousers at home and that for me is a complete turn off
2 members like this comment.
Dotty Green - 15 Jan, 2023 - 11:32AM
Cheesy and Becky… living in London had its advantages 👍🏻
2 members like this comment.
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 11:00AM
Beckysharp - 15 Jan, 2023 - 10:32AM
Haha maybe that needs some tweaking.
You're right my location is tricky. Meeting within an hour and a half of Norwich is most practical, so that should cover all of East Anglia. I used to travel nearly 4 hours to meet my ex but it's just not sustainable longer term.
I have all day Wednesday free, every week. A whole day a week seems a pretty good amount of time to have available for this I thought?
I definitely do want some emotional connection, just with someone who knows where to draw the line. It got messy with my ex as she wanted more than an affair in the end.
Maybe a profile rewrite is in order.
2 members like this comment.
1552141 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 10:56AM
I agree cheesy I’ve also been on and off here for a few years and finding it very difficult this time, I’m also in a rural area so always up for travelling a bit, I’ve had two great affairs from here but it’s hard to get a response these days, maybe at 60 I’m struggling in a sea of 30s and 40s women there’s very few in their 50s and 60s it seems
Charlieboy1970 - 15 Jan, 2023 - 10:54AM
Hi, I joined the site last night and am navigating this newness.
It feels like a sweet shop, but with hidden and unknown delicacies. I’m about to jump in but could do with some advice on the protocol and how to get the most from the experience - how to find the sweetest sweets.
Any advice would be gratefully received.
Ciao x
1 member likes this comment.
Beckysharp - 15 Jan, 2023 - 10:32AM
@cheesypuff
I like your profile. But you are looking for someone within an hour of Norwich (tricky), not looking for emotional connection (very rare) and who is free on a Wednesday afternoon (ultra rare!!). I actually wondered if this was part of your ‘unusual’ sense of humour when I read it yesterday!
1 member likes this comment.
Cheesypuff - 15 Jan, 2023 - 10:14AM
EmnEm123 - 13 Mar, 2022 - 10:05PM
I agree the site has become harder going, I've been on and off here for years and it's been really good to me, but never have I found it so hard to get noticed as this time around. I'm in a rural area with limited members so it may it be a local phenomenon, I hope it's not permanent as the site becomes redundant for me as it currently is. I've never used the forum before but started to this time just because the site was so dead for me otherwise.
Wagwann - 15 Jan, 2023 - 09:10AM
As soon as you have a good vibe and you both like what you see then I would usually organise a meet. It's all fun and games isn't it
1520432 - 07 May, 2022 - 05:32PM
Thanks Fluffy Clouds
None seem to have been read so at least it seems I’ve not been pied 😀
FluffyClouds - 07 May, 2022 - 04:06PM
Bassman59 -
You can see when a message has been read when you click on the alerts button, it also shows you who has looked at your profile
1 member likes this comment.
1520432 - 07 May, 2022 - 03:37PM
I’ve sent 13 messages out to potential matches this week and have no idea if they’ve even been read.
Are you notified when they are?
1488125 - 30 Mar, 2022 - 11:10AM
I would dearly love to know how many messages on average a lady can receive on IE? Sometimes it would just be nice to get a polite message back. I get those and you know. Then you send messages and hear nothing. It can be daunting to meet a nice person.
2 members like this comment.
rarity23 - 22 Mar, 2022 - 05:27PM
EmnEm 13th March
Have to agree there, as a long term user of this site, it is not the friendly site it used to be back then.
I have still managed to have a couple of good affairs through it......I don't think I will on this occasion though !
1 member likes this comment.
Doricles - 14 Mar, 2022 - 07:43AM
This site is called ‘Illicit Encounters’. The clue’s in the title. For ladies, this suggests that as soon as you like someone’s appearance, profile and personality, they live close enough to enjoy an illicit encounter with, and of course they appear ‘safe’, then arranging a meet-up would seem the next logical step. That does not have to be a sexual encounter (your choice), and if you meet for a drink in a public place and you don’t get on, you can both walk away. Chemistry is important. If you don’t get on in the bar you’re unlikely to get on in the bedroom!
5 members like this comment.
EmnEm123 - 13 Mar, 2022 - 10:05PM
@The Brave Heart
I'm afraid that's like asking 'how long is a piece of string'?
It depends on what you are looking for and if there is anyone within travel distance that you are interested in and of course, them you.
The site has become a little stale in the past couple of years.
I've been on and off for a few years, had one fantastic affair, I think it's just luck and timing.
Just being here is no guarantee, don't get disheartened.
I've said before, this place isn't the be all and end all!
5 members like this comment.
MatureWorcsBBW - 13 Mar, 2022 - 06:25PM
There must be men on here and on every hook up site, that get inundated with messages.
It's about time they let it go that women get more messages than them.
Desperation and envy isn't a good look.
2 members like this comment.
1418715 - 13 Mar, 2022 - 03:23PM
.... to continue from my previous comment....
So we can be good and real friends for the time being which would not have been possible if we had not met.... the logistics of our individual lives are not ideal but so far we have not called things to an end....
I have enjoyed the interlude and hope it may continue longer - without meeting the bits of chat that make me smile would not mean as much...
3 members like this comment.
1418715 - 13 Mar, 2022 - 03:18PM
Getting back to the original question this is my take on it (I am a decent bloke and looking for someone who is right for me - believe it or not ladies there are some genuine characters out there).
Unless a profile and initial conversation turns you off straightaway - meet as early as you can.... You will only find out if you want anything more by actually meeting....
Be clear that it will be a short meeting just for introductions, and don't be afraid to leave when you are ready....
Regarding messaging after that, have a proper talk about what each of you want.... Some like to receive random updates in addition to agreed chat (including actually speaking) it doesn't mean both do.....
There is a lady that I have been chatting to who at different times blows hot and cold.... we have met several times and are in regular communication. I like her a lot.... That said I don't think it will go very far because I suspect her home life is too overwhelming to allow it (and she has previously had a bad experience).
3 members like this comment.
1499112 - 13 Mar, 2022 - 01:20PM
So many messages isn’t a problem I’ve had so far because I’m a man🙄
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 13 Mar, 2022 - 01:09PM
@Stargirl1: Logistics do matter, and in a closeknit community, being able to go further away might be an issue - good communication is key, and hopefully the man you like will understand this and support you on this 😊
4 members like this comment.
Stargirl1 - 13 Mar, 2022 - 11:53AM
Location is difficult for me, living in a rural area means that it can take time to arrange to meet. It doesn't mean I'm not interested.
3 members like this comment.
Macali76 - 13 Mar, 2022 - 11:20AM
Meet up as soon as practicable it will help to see if there's any chemistry, meet for coffee in a public place where your both comfortable
Here4U21 - 06 Mar, 2022 - 01:28PM
Should the guy always do the chasing? Do women who are interested actually act like they want to meet you, or is playing hard to get still part of the game? Asking for a friend!
2 members like this comment.
FluffyClouds - 06 Mar, 2022 - 12:50PM
To me, if someone isn't available for a few weeks for a first meet, then they can't offer much in the way of an affair
4 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 06 Mar, 2022 - 11:58AM
@BraveHeart
It takes as long as both parties find each other interesting enough to meet. This could be a few days to a few weeks (depending the chat and schedules). This is my experience anyway. Others may feel differently.
Of course, if like on another thread, the other party is clearly stringing you along, giving shoddy excuse, ghosting, and more shoddy excuses, that is a clear indicator to move on.
3 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 02 Mar, 2022 - 01:34PM
Good morning texts are not so bad....my guy used to finish nights and say good morning because I was up early for my shift....it doesn't have to get heavy and complicated...😁
3 members like this comment.
FluffyClouds - 02 Mar, 2022 - 12:52AM
EmnEm - mmm, good morning texts at 7.30am. I'm with you on that one. What ya doing? Another one. I don't want to share every moment of my life with an affair. It's needy.
2 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 01 Mar, 2022 - 07:09PM
Doc Johnson ...
By the way I am not that ancient..🤣😂
1 member likes this comment.
Mad World - 01 Mar, 2022 - 06:12PM
Tested Telex is as good as Telegram and you don’t get charged per word or letter.
Forget Facsimile as a comms tool - that’s ancient / salt mines stuff.
1 member likes this comment.
Doc Johnson - 01 Mar, 2022 - 06:06PM
@paula99
It's not a real telegram like in the war.
I was thinking we should all have a zoom meeting that would be hilarious.
4 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 01 Mar, 2022 - 04:59PM
Bloody hell I haven't used Telegram for about 10 years...😁
1 member likes this comment.
Doc Johnson - 01 Mar, 2022 - 04:49PM
Has anyone tried using Teams or zoom?
I hate messaging for ages.....just in case you need to know
1418715 - 01 Mar, 2022 - 01:42PM
I would recommend Telegram too.... way above the horrible app that is Kik....
every day of the week...
3 members like this comment.
lochgellylover - 01 Mar, 2022 - 01:25PM
I use kik and find it's good enough to start off a chat but I use it on an old phone connected via wifi. Texting to proper phone needs rules to be agreed and stuck too. Meet to greet really depends for me on my confidence in the lady I'm chatting with not some random number of days or wèeks
1 member likes this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 25 Feb, 2022 - 05:42PM
@MatureBBW
It is Telegram. Very underrated.
Don’t all go rushing for it now 😂
4 members like this comment.
MatureWorcsBBW - 24 Feb, 2022 - 04:26PM
EmnEm123
I totally agree with you about random, pointless texting and it just being an affair.
I only really call my friends especially once they text me.
I definitely do NOT want to be bombarded with texts asking me what I'm wearing or if I'm horny.
The reply they would get from me, they wouldn't like!
5 members like this comment.
EmnEm123 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 04:15PM
I had a six month affair with a guy from here and we only communicated by email.
I'm on my own but obviously understand that calls/texts at odd times can raise suspicion.
A couple of times I have exchanged numbers I quickly got bored with being bombarded.
Who wants a 'good morning' text when you're getting ready for work?
Perhaps it's just me but I like to keep contact between meets to a minimum, it is, after all just an affair!
8 members like this comment.
MatureWorcsBBW - 24 Feb, 2022 - 03:37PM
BoredHousewife764
Which chat app is that please?
1 member likes this comment.
1489744 - 23 Feb, 2022 - 01:50PM
Having a phone number allows you to have a verbal conversation, anything else is just text messaging. But having a phone number doesn't mean that a person is genuine either.
4 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 23 Feb, 2022 - 01:33PM
rarity23 - 22 Feb, 2022 - 11:35PM
If they are already meeting you, more than once even, surely they are genuine, whether or not you have their phone number ... not talking about the online ego boosters who have no intention of meeting. Someone can give you their phone number and still not be genuine. All depends on the person and the kind of liaison you are having.
4 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 23 Feb, 2022 - 06:39AM
I don’t do phone numbers either. The external app that I use allows for voice messaging and phone calls at your discretion..….without the use of telephone numbers. I find it far superior to Kik And Watsapp. It’s also nice to have a dedicated space for illicit messaging, lest one types a dodgy text and sends it accidentally to the school Parent watsapp group 🥳😄
4 members like this comment.
rarity23 - 22 Feb, 2022 - 11:35PM
Exotic orchid
It's just in my experience, swapping to kik versus swapping to Whatsapp say...... and then in the end who is more genuine.
Sure I can understand the random phone call scenario, but surely the majority here know what they're doing and wouldn't even think about doing something like that.
1 member likes this comment.
Paula99 - 22 Feb, 2022 - 11:59AM
Kik is quite good for getting a decent conversation going but you have to remember it's not encrypted but given a choice it's better than handing out your phone number or your email.
Eye to eye contact is much harder to do..😊
1 member likes this comment.
1117169 - 22 Feb, 2022 - 06:20AM
The few women I have met have always been very happy to share phone numbers because they quickly realise that I am trustworthy and will only call them at agreed times when its safe to do so and likewise. It is useful to be able to text sometimes too, eg to make sure that its ok to call at that moment or agree a time to do so. A pre paid second phone can be a good idea though I have never used one.
There really is no good reason to not use kik but there are times when a phone conversation is best especially to keep things alive in between meetings.
3 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 21 Feb, 2022 - 11:40PM
r23 - 11:13PM
Surely not giving you their number doesn't matter if they are meeting you anyway? If you are in touch on kik then why would you need their phone number?
Could be they have had a bad experience (I know of instances where the woman has received phone calls out of the blue without prior arrangement when she was at home) or it's just one less complication in case her phone is checked, etc.
2 members like this comment.
rarity23 - 21 Feb, 2022 - 11:13PM
Exotic orchid 12am
Sorry I appreciate you as a genuine person and others may use Kik at first.
My experience has been they just hide behind Kik and don't ever swap numbers, even after meeting, and even meeting again.
At the end of the day it's what everyone is comfortable with i guess.
1 member likes this comment.
1117169 - 21 Feb, 2022 - 06:18PM
One of the benefits of kik is that when you log out your chats and shared pics are automatically deleted so no trail is left behind.
Its easy to explain having kik on your device. Just say it came with it pre loaded. If your partner is so suspicious that they check what apps you have, and question you about them, there is no way you will get away with anything worthwhile in " Real life" anyway.
4 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 21 Feb, 2022 - 05:58PM
Life in the Fast Lane - 03:34PM
Everyone should be prepared to answer questions at home and always have some plausible answer/reason ... you could be seen by someone you know, having IE on your phone/tablet, etc, etc ... there's always a risk.
Mad World - 21 Feb, 2022 - 03:34PM
@Exotyc Orchard
It’s not the anonymity which is the issue.
Those using it should simply prepare for the question if/when significant other sees apps being updated on shared networks they’ve never seen before. Trust me - it happens.
Let’s not go down the ‘you’re scared’ route, that’s old hat / unnecessary.
And yes - each to their own.
ExoticOrchid - 21 Feb, 2022 - 03:16PM
Life in the Fast Lane - 21 Feb, 2022 - 03:04PM
Agree no App is safe but kik doesn't involve phone numbers and if somebody has to be that scared, then he/she shouldn't be thinking about having an affair at all ... everything carries a certain amount of risk.
If chatting on kik goes well, then a meeting is arranged pronto. If someone is genuine about meeting, where you chat/how long you chat makes no difference.
Each to their own of course. Whatever works for you.
4 members like this comment.
Mad World - 21 Feb, 2022 - 03:04PM
To all those wanting to use Kik and the excuse I’ve just seen below as to not using it.
There is no app anywhere which is safe. If people are on shared networks, anyone tech savvy can see what others are using app wise. If anyone thinks that’s BS try Googling it. If someone is suspicious in a household even more reason not to do so. Each to their own of course.
Hence I’d rather spend a little bit of time chatting to someone here, arranging a meeting which is far more productive. I’m more of the opinion - more apps, more chat, less action.
1 member likes this comment.
1117169 - 21 Feb, 2022 - 07:23AM
I agree with ExoticOrchid
I have found that genuine people want to chat on here for a short while, then move to a more convenient and discreet messaging platform such as kik, then, when trust is established, exchange phone numbers.
I think a lot of people who refuse to use kik, for example, and want to remain chatting on here do so because they want to keep their options open and keep chatting to others. It would blow their cover if they agreed to chat elsewhere and were discovered continuing to log on here.
3 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 21 Feb, 2022 - 12:00AM
r23 - 11:45PM
Sorry but genuine people do use kik to start off with and then move on to phone numbers if the chat is going somewhere.
3 members like this comment.
rarity23 - 20 Feb, 2022 - 11:45PM
@vixendreams
Wow, guys blocking women !
Suppose they want the last word.
You're right best not to take anything personally, or seriously.
Genuine people normally trust you with there number, rather than kik
1457379 - 20 Feb, 2022 - 06:01PM
Vixendream agreed this place can be like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates - you never know what's coming next, but only sometimes.
Interstellar where your messages disappear into Black Hole is more the norm though 😂.
2 members like this comment.
1505050 - 20 Feb, 2022 - 05:39PM
It can be a funny old place. Someone recently messaged me and said why don’t we chat. I ever so politely said sorry you are too far away for me and they replied oh well I would have travelled. I went back to say well that’s considerate thanks and they’d blocked me 🙈then you get the oh let’s talk on kik ones who then suddenly disappear into a puff of smoke
Luckily I’m not new to this so I don’t take it personally 😂
2 members like this comment.
rarity23 - 19 Feb, 2022 - 11:32AM
@boredhouewife764, salt and pepper, life in the fast lane.
Thanks for your comments !
I was gobsmacked, but had to laugh...... and move on.
TheBoredHousewife - 19 Feb, 2022 - 10:42AM
@rarity23
That’s just poor. I tend not to do telephone calls (prefer other voice means), and have just parted company with a lovely gentleman through difference of opinion. But there is really no need to block.
1 member likes this comment.
1457379 - 19 Feb, 2022 - 10:32AM
rarity23, sadly it's not an unusual occurrence.
Mad World - 19 Feb, 2022 - 09:02AM
@rarity23 - Report that profile. It’s wrong, cheap, pathetic.
Get that person banned and off the site
I find it bewildering that grown adults - supposedly - feel the need to block others because the availability of a button allows them to do so.
Take it as a sign that actually you’ve had a bit of a close shave there & it’s you that’s got away with one.
That’s just wrong
4 members like this comment.
1360266 - 19 Feb, 2022 - 12:10AM
When it feels right for both parties.
rarity23 - 18 Feb, 2022 - 11:00PM
Paula99
Agree, getting the balance right is critical, this also applies to swapping numbers.
After a couple of days of chatting through the site to a lady last week, I suggested swapping to kik or Whatsapp.
She agreed, I went to send my number and found I was blocked...... the first time after being on and off here for a few years.
1 member likes this comment.
Paula99 - 18 Feb, 2022 - 02:27PM
You need to strike a balance, if you have just started chatting maybe over 24 hours and he/she wants to meet the next day then alarm bells should be ringing. If they are in 'too much of a rush' to meet you then chances are they haven't thought it through properly.
If you have been chatting for 3 or 4 days depending on work/life schedules then I do find it works out better. Of course you can't go on Texting over the phone/website forever as text is flat and easier to do than actually biting the bullet and meeting. It's a personal choice and it may not work for everyone but getting the right balance is the essence.
4 members like this comment.
Doc Johnson - 18 Feb, 2022 - 01:30PM
Call me old fashioned but for me an early meet is best as I'm terrible at text based communication. I feel really disadvantaged when I'm not meeting someone in person and messages/profiles are just not a true reflection of reality.
7 members like this comment.
1117169 - 17 Feb, 2022 - 06:06PM
@teper_1961
Suspend your profile for 3 weeks by selecting " Holiday Mode" ( If you can) and have a break then have another look to see if there are any new ladies in reasonable distance who you might have more success with.
You are not alone!
5 members like this comment.
1444888 - 17 Feb, 2022 - 03:14PM
I've had the polite 'thanks but no thanks'
I've had the 'thanks but I'm chatting to another guy and want to give him a chance' ( i understand that)
The vast majority don't bother to reply.
I keep expanding the distance I would travel but its now getting the point that it'd be impractical to make it worthwhile and I'm definitely not looking for an on virtual one.
not sure what else i can do??
RoseWithThorns - 15 Feb, 2022 - 12:44AM
I think the long drawn out approach can’t be ideal a meet sooner rather than later. However given the nature that can’t be easy for most to arrange that quick but I would t want to be talking to someone for over a week then meet them and realise there is no spark. But I’m new so what do I really know?!?
1 member likes this comment.
rarity23 - 12 Feb, 2022 - 11:26PM
@blake_hall
Rejoined and had a date two weeks later, so not that long really :)
3 members like this comment.
1504076 - 11 Feb, 2022 - 02:52AM
The answer is "usually longer than you think".
1504076 - 11 Feb, 2022 - 02:43AM
@Golddust_1
Huh?? Next you'll be telling us that ANY guy can be super-successful on online dating sites if they just follow their dream and believe in themselves.
😂😂
1504076 - 11 Feb, 2022 - 02:41AM
@mind and matter
I'm sceptical about the "17 unsolited messages" claim, even if you're touting yourself as a 6'3 rugby player with a Ferrari.
How many responded favourably after exchanging pictures?
How many IRL dates?
1504076 - 07 Feb, 2022 - 10:16AM
@EmnEm123
So because someone was rude to you once, you feel justified in being rude to everyone who doesn't take your fancy??
5 members like this comment.
1461617 - 07 Feb, 2022 - 12:26AM
@EmnEm123
Re: messages by far away people. I think you’re probably a bit hard on motives. I’m in the older age bracket and get lots of messages from quite a long distance. I think, particularly for older people, there aren’t always many suitable potential partners nearby and so they’d rather chat with someone, however far away, than have nothing at all, in the hope that a meeting might be possible in the future.
3 members like this comment.
rarity23 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 10:39PM
Personally I may send a few messages, and see what comes back after a day or so, i wouldn't want to chat with many....who needs that kind of confusion when you're just looking for one special person
If I get a polite, too far/I'm seeing someone/ or I'm not looking for the same, I send a polite thanks for your reply
3 members like this comment.
1457379 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 10:07PM
HoneyBunny
I would never approach somebody if I knew they were taken and would respect their wishes. It only takes a few seconds to reply and say sorry "Already taken" though.
2 members like this comment.
EmnEm123 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 10:05PM
@Honey Bunny
Very true.
And as many have said even a polite refusal can be met with a torrent of abuse.
I think I said before that after I had said thanks but no thanks, I was told I was probably a howler anyway!😂
1 member likes this comment.
1489744 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 09:57PM
I've said on here before, sometimes people won't look at a profile if they're already meeting someone, seeing someone or are chatting already to a number of people. You can spread yourself too thin.
1 member likes this comment.
1457379 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 09:44PM
Londonladye6
I tend to send a message which says that I have just noticed a profile, we live within reasonable distance and have a number of interests/aims in common. Would they like to talk and explore?
I can hardly see how that could be such a turn off that I don't receive a reply, or even a profile view. Can you?
4 members like this comment.
1497533 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 08:39PM
Salt and Pepper - 06 Feb, 2022 - 01:11PM
Mindandmatter
The one thing I have noticed is the number of people who don't even look at your profile following an initial message
Some messages are such a turn off that they won't warrant a look at the profile
1117169 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 06:01PM
@ EmnEm123
Actually I'm fairly sure about what's going on 😉
EmnEm123 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 04:31PM
@Sporster
Indeed!
The messages from men/women from a great distance are probably people not really interested in meeting anyone and are just here for chat, fair enough if that's made clear on their profile.
1117169 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 04:16PM
@EmnEm123
Yes, you make some fair points.
I would doubt if many ladies would be genuinely interested in meeting him now they are aware of his survey. I think he will need to post a new profile.
On the subject of distance, I do seem to get a lot of interest, and indeed messages from ladies hundreds of miles away. I just delete them as they have obviously not read my profile and cannot be not genuinely interested in meeting me. I do wonder what's going on there!
3 members like this comment.
rolyat55 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 02:07PM
I find there are a lot of initial message exchanges and then silence, especially when an initial meeting has been suggested. Why can’t they reply and admit to lack of interest and say thanks but no thanks. Blanking is rude. Politeness casts nothing. They would expect the respect in return
1 member likes this comment.
EmnEm123 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 01:51PM
@rarity23
I agree it does seem like 'carpet bombing'.
I'm also sure that there will be a lot of people here who object to being 'statistically analysed' by an obvious time waster.
There can't possibly be that many people within a reasonable travel distance to be genuinely interested in.
Also the 59% of replies could be mainly polite refusals.
3 members like this comment.
1457379 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 01:11PM
Mindandmatter
The one thing I have noticed is the number of people who don't even look at your profile following an initial message. As if it's list in the ether of 100's of messages. In fact I just checked my views and the majority are from London and the South East. Is there a shortage of men in London but a massive over supply in Warwickshire?
2 members like this comment.
1117169 - 06 Feb, 2022 - 06:50AM
@rarity23
Not " Carpet bombing" but gathering a statistically representative population sample for analysis.
2 members like this comment.
rarity23 - 05 Feb, 2022 - 11:56PM
@ mind and matter
Interesting posts, but 126 messages sent out, seems like a carpet bombing technique !!
1 member likes this comment.
1497533 - 05 Feb, 2022 - 10:38PM
Why Have we got part 2 x9 times?
2 members like this comment.
TheBoredHousewife - 05 Feb, 2022 - 09:46PM
Mind and Matter: 59% initial response rate is very good indeed.
Looking forward to seeing the followup stats on the 31% that did agree to exchange passwords.
1117169 - 05 Feb, 2022 - 09:00PM
@Mind and matter
Having read your profile, which paints a picture that would be alluring to many women, I'm not surprised that you probably have a better response rate than most men on here.
I am also impressed by your persistence in getting your posts on the forum. Do keep us updated.
4 members like this comment.
1489744 - 05 Feb, 2022 - 08:37PM
Mind and Matter - thanks for the update. You've done well so far. Looking forward to the percentages after pw exchange
1 member likes this comment.
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 06:24PM
Part 2
* Before password stage:
I sent out 126 messages (see Part I re casting a wide net etc) and received 17 unsolicited ones. So, total 143 messages sent/received. All the following % numbers refer to the 143.
85% of my messages were read, 15% were not.
All my messages were, where possible, personalised (the obvious exception being where the recipient's profile was written by the Wizard) or differentiated anyway and, I would hope, "interesting" one way or another. Which is maybe why most of them led to the recipient actually visiting my profile page (76%).
Obviously, my profile does't suit everyone: after reading my profile, 17% never replied. On the other hand, 59% replied, which is very good for this type of site.
Of these, I discarded around 7% as controversial (IE was good in removing them when reported).
As my chats got going, I was "dropped" as unsuitable by 3% and I dropped another 16%. 2% simply stopped replying. The rest (31%) agreed to exhange photo passwords.
Next post: after pw excha
3 members like this comment.
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 06:22PM
[Admin, please stop being obstructive. There's 15 members who expressed their interest in hearing my experience. I am a paying member. There's nothing remotely controversial, offensive or sensitive in what I am writing.
You have people insulting each other on this forum, which is fine by you, and yet you are obstructing my perfectly sensible posts. Yes, it's in your legal rights to be obstructive and narrowminded, but it's not a legal obligation for you to be so. So please allow my post, which I am about to resend. Thank you]
8 members like this comment.
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 06:03PM
Part 2
* Before password stage:
I sent out 126 messages (see Part I re casting a wide net etc) and received 17 unsolicited ones. So, total 143 messages sent/received. All the following % numbers refer to the 143.
85% of my messages were read, 15% were not.
All my messages were, where possible, personalised (the obvious exception being where the recipient's profile was written by the Wizard) or differentiated anyway and, I would hope, "interesting" one way or another. Which is maybe why most of them led to the recipient actually visiting my profile page (76%).
Obviously, my profile does't suit everyone: after reading my profile, 17% never replied. On the other hand, 59% replied, which is very good for IE.
Of these, I discarded around 7% as they seemed to be looking for financial support (IE was good in removing them when reported).
As my chats got going, I was "dropped" as unsuitable by 3% and I dropped another 16%. 2% simply stopped replying. The rest (31%) agreed to exhange photo passwords
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 04:59PM
Part 2
* After becoming a paying member - before password stage:
I sent out 126 messages (see Part I re casting a wide net etc) and received 17 unsolicited ones. So, total 143 messages sent/received. All the following % numbers refer to the 143.
85% of my messages were read, 15% were not. All my messages were, where possible, personalised (the obvious exception being where the recipient's profile was written by the Wizard...) or differentiated anyway and, I would hope, "interesting" one way or another. Which is maybe why most of them led to the recipient actually visiting my profile page (76%).
Obviously, my profile must have turned off a number of recipients: I never heard anything back from 17% of the people I messaged. On the other hand, 59% replied.
Of these, I discarded around 7% as they seemed to be looking for financial support or to entice me to other paid for sites. Based on the conversation, I was considered unsuitable by 3% and I considered unsuitable another 16%. 2% stopped replying.
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 04:58PM
Part 2
* After becoming a paying member - before password stage:
I sent out 126 messages (see Part I re casting a wide net etc) and received 17 unsolicited ones. So, total 143 messages sent/received. All the following % numbers refer to the 143.
85% of my messages were read, 15% were not. All my messages were, where possible, personalised (the obvious exception being where the recipient's profile was written by the Wizard...) or differentiated anyway and, I would hope, "interesting" one way or another. Which is maybe why most of them led to the recipient actually visiting my profile page (76%).
Obviously, my profile must have turned off a number of recipients: I never heard anything back from 17% of the people I messaged. On the other hand, 59% replied.
Of these, I discarded around 7% as they seemed to be looking for financial support or to entice me to other paid for sites. Based on the conversation, I was considered unsuitable by 3% and I considered unsuitable another 16%. 2% stopped replying.
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 04:58PM
Part 2
* After becoming a paying member - before password stage:
I sent out 126 messages (see Part I re casting a wide net etc) and received 17 unsolicited ones. So, total 143 messages sent/received. All the following % numbers refer to the 143.
85% of my messages were read, 15% were not. All my messages were, where possible, personalised (the obvious exception being where the recipient's profile was written by the Wizard...) or differentiated anyway and, I would hope, "interesting" one way or another. Which is maybe why most of them led to the recipient actually visiting my profile page (76%).
Obviously, my profile must have turned off a number of recipients: I never heard anything back from 17% of the people I messaged. On the other hand, 59% replied.
Of these, I discarded around 7% as they seemed to be looking for financial support or to entice me to other paid for sites. Based on the conversation, I was considered unsuitable by 3% and I considered unsuitable another 16%. 2% stopped replying.
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 04:58PM
Part 2
* After becoming a paying member - before password stage:
I sent out 126 messages (see Part I re casting a wide net etc) and received 17 unsolicited ones. So, total 143 messages sent/received. All the following % numbers refer to the 143.
85% of my messages were read, 15% were not. All my messages were, where possible, personalised (the obvious exception being where the recipient's profile was written by the Wizard...) or differentiated anyway and, I would hope, "interesting" one way or another. Which is maybe why most of them led to the recipient actually visiting my profile page (76%).
Obviously, my profile must have turned off a number of recipients: I never heard anything back from 17% of the people I messaged. On the other hand, 59% replied.
Of these, I discarded around 7% as they seemed to be looking for financial support or to entice me to other paid for sites. Based on the conversation, I was considered unsuitable by 3% and I considered unsuitable another 16%. 2% stopped replying.
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 04:58PM
Part 2
* After becoming a paying member - before password stage:
I sent out 126 messages (see Part I re casting a wide net etc) and received 17 unsolicited ones. So, total 143 messages sent/received. All the following % numbers refer to the 143.
85% of my messages were read, 15% were not. All my messages were, where possible, personalised (the obvious exception being where the recipient's profile was written by the Wizard...) or differentiated anyway and, I would hope, "interesting" one way or another. Which is maybe why most of them led to the recipient actually visiting my profile page (76%).
Obviously, my profile must have turned off a number of recipients: I never heard anything back from 17% of the people I messaged. On the other hand, 59% replied.
Of these, I discarded around 7% as they seemed to be looking for financial support or to entice me to other paid for sites. Based on the conversation, I was considered unsuitable by 3% and I considered unsuitable another 16%. 2% stopped replying.
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 04:58PM
Part 2
* After becoming a paying member - before password stage:
I sent out 126 messages (see Part I re casting a wide net etc) and received 17 unsolicited ones. So, total 143 messages sent/received. All the following % numbers refer to the 143.
85% of my messages were read, 15% were not. All my messages were, where possible, personalised (the obvious exception being where the recipient's profile was written by the Wizard...) or differentiated anyway and, I would hope, "interesting" one way or another. Which is maybe why most of them led to the recipient actually visiting my profile page (76%).
Obviously, my profile must have turned off a number of recipients: I never heard anything back from 17% of the people I messaged. On the other hand, 59% replied.
Of these, I discarded around 7% as they seemed to be looking for financial support or to entice me to other paid for sites. Based on the conversation, I was considered unsuitable by 3% and I considered unsuitable another 16%. 2% stopped replying.
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 04:58PM
Part 2
* After becoming a paying member - before password stage:
I sent out 126 messages (see Part I re casting a wide net etc) and received 17 unsolicited ones. So, total 143 messages sent/received. All the following % numbers refer to the 143.
85% of my messages were read, 15% were not. All my messages were, where possible, personalised (the obvious exception being where the recipient's profile was written by the Wizard...) or differentiated anyway and, I would hope, "interesting" one way or another. Which is maybe why most of them led to the recipient actually visiting my profile page (76%).
Obviously, my profile must have turned off a number of recipients: I never heard anything back from 17% of the people I messaged. On the other hand, 59% replied.
Of these, I discarded around 7% as they seemed to be looking for financial support or to entice me to other paid for sites. Based on the conversation, I was considered unsuitable by 3% and I considered unsuitable another 16%. 2% stopped replying.
2 members like this comment.
Mind and matter - 05 Feb, 2022 - 01:00PM
Well we got to 15 likes, so I will be true to my word and post the results of my journey so far.
Part 1: the first thing I want to say is that I am genuinely looking for someone. I did not embark on this as some social experiment - who's got the time for that. The second thing I want to point out is that, while I certainly do have tight standards, I didn't set out to be overly selective at the outset. For example, I still approached many of the wizard-generated profiles, which tell you nothing, if they mentioned some interests that overlapped with mine. This meant casting a wide net, hence the large number of messages. If the net catches unedible fish, you can always throw it back in the sea...
Part 2 - the data (next post)
4 members like this comment.
All Day Breakfast - 05 Feb, 2022 - 07:13AM
God never go for a coffee! You may as well give them a form to fill out! Lunch or dinner, make a date of it. You should know from messaging you have some connection at least, and if there’s no spark it’s still good to have talked … people’s lives are so interesting. And if you do hit it off it’s a wonderful feeling when the date is lasting way longer than either of you planned… Life is for living, go out and have fun!!
2 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 04 Feb, 2022 - 09:34PM
I doubt whether I could have lunch with a guy on a first date because its a longish first date much better to have a coffee n cake and if you don't like each other you can make a hasty retreat...😁
6 members like this comment.
ClassyLady77 - 04 Feb, 2022 - 09:21PM
If you like a lady ask her out. Arrange a date. I find Coffee meets boring, May as well bring me CV.. 🤦🏼♀️ Lunch or a proper drink is better.. 😂
2 members like this comment.
like2lickalot - 04 Feb, 2022 - 01:39PM
How long? Not too long. Unless you want a penpal then you should meet sooner rather than later. Keep it casual, maybe a coffee at a neutral location where neither of you are likely to be known. Keep it short and then afterwards let the other person know if you'd like to meet again. Simple
1 member likes this comment.
Calm22 - 04 Feb, 2022 - 10:21AM
Is it not just a laugh and the luck of the draw. You need to find someone who you have chemistry with
1 member likes this comment.
Officer1198 - 01 Feb, 2022 - 10:19AM
Window shoppers and tyre kickers .
1 member likes this comment.
1481371 - 31 Jan, 2022 - 10:48PM
I have no idea how long it might take, fairly new here had one or two nice message exchanges which have then petered out. I think it unlikely that I will actually be anyone's specific ideal, and in light of the need for safety I'm happy for the ladies to decide how the conversation continues, taking the lead if desired and when the messages seem to indicate it. I have no idea if anyone has blocked me, but again if there is concern for a 'pestering' worry then I won't take any offense. I'm not on everyday or all the time, I'm working on the theory that's the case for many and so messages might go several days before being responded to , then there is the ' well he won't reply now because I have taken X time to respond so I won't etc.
Patience and perseverance are probably key. After all if I could find someone easily I would already have done it, so I'm here for the obvious rerason I don't find it easy.
1117169 - 29 Jan, 2022 - 09:40PM
@Mind and matter
Yes please do try to post your findings.
Lets us know how you get on 😉
1489744 - 29 Jan, 2022 - 04:41PM
Mind and Matter - looking at what you have states in your profile, I doubt you would have a hard time finding someone
1 member likes this comment.
Mind and matter - 29 Jan, 2022 - 04:11PM
Hey I am newish here, interesting forum! I have now just reached 100 messages sent out - what a strange world, and what unexpected results! If anyone is interested in a statistical analysis of my journey, I am happy to share the results. Don't want to waste anyone's time though. Not sure how I should gauge interest, so I ll just take the number of likes - if I get above say a dozen, I commit to post my scientific findings.
16 members like this comment.
1457379 - 26 Jan, 2022 - 09:40PM
So another "You aren't my type" response but then blocked so I don't have the right of reply. Think it might be a long, long time 😢😢.
3 members like this comment.
1489744 - 26 Jan, 2022 - 06:23PM
Deejay123 - we've not been in a lockdown for months now. Surely, if you don't have any private own time in your life to meet, then it's going to be pretty impossible to have an affair.
2 members like this comment.
1501667 - 26 Jan, 2022 - 04:20PM
I am trying to meet someone here I am quiet new struggling to find one
Deejay123 - 25 Jan, 2022 - 06:30AM
I think one of the big issues is that a lot of people on here have is that they have been trapped at home by the covid work from home guidelines. Either the member or their half or both are working from home and can't get out and have their own space and time. This will chance over time.
1 member likes this comment.
Cherrybuns1 - 24 Jan, 2022 - 09:33PM
If you know you know! You don’t hang about x
1 member likes this comment.
1491717 - 24 Jan, 2022 - 07:48PM
You go with your gut.
Mine never fails me.
If it feels right do it. If something is stopping you there is a reason.
1 member likes this comment.
1499112 - 24 Jan, 2022 - 04:51PM
So many messages? I’ve never had a message from a woman, only replies
Key of Life - 24 Jan, 2022 - 11:45AM
Yes the women on here are a league apart from other sites , and ladies , I hope we men are too .
Peters4fun07 - 24 Jan, 2022 - 09:12AM
Who agrees Wynette when I say this site appetites be so much easier to use than most of the others, the ladies too are leagues above on here!!
Peter
1117169 - 22 Jan, 2022 - 08:20AM
@ Peaches1
Generally I agree with you, but a month is far too long in my experience.
Sometimes circumstances can delay it of course but If someone keeps making excuses not to pencil in a meeting date within a few days of chatting or at the most about a week, they are not really serious about doing so and you have a window shopper / chatter not a meeter.
5 members like this comment.
Peaches1 - 21 Jan, 2022 - 10:46PM
Move on to another messaging platform quickly. If that doesn't work for you then move on. I have had loads of pen pals as I've found some people just seem to like it that way and have no immediate intentions of meeting anyone physically. If I've not met someone in a month say I'm on my heels or flats cause I can't walk in heels 🙄
1468600 - 21 Jan, 2022 - 10:30PM
As many as you feel comfortable with.
1457379 - 18 Jan, 2022 - 01:18PM
HoneyBunny7 - I would not expect anything else.
1489744 - 18 Jan, 2022 - 11:38AM
Salt and Pepper, have done. This is purely for an appraisal.
1457379 - 18 Jan, 2022 - 08:30AM
HoneyBunny send me a DM and you can be the judge whether I have my own hair, teeth and in decent condition still. X
1489744 - 18 Jan, 2022 - 01:08AM
All I will say is, they had looked after themselves physically and looked good for their age.
1 member likes this comment.
1457379 - 17 Jan, 2022 - 06:44PM
HoneyBunny7
Perhaps you are the exception to the rule and more open minded?
1489744 - 17 Jan, 2022 - 05:52PM
I've met 3 over 50s, so it isn't that
1 member likes this comment.
1117169 - 16 Jan, 2022 - 11:16PM
Salt and Pepper and Richie789
Same in Merseyside. I'm beginning to wonder!
3 members like this comment.
1457379 - 16 Jan, 2022 - 07:28PM
Richie789
That's sad to see, I suppose the one solace its not just the ladies from Kent/Surrey. Same here in Warwickshire, mostly a no reply zone.
3 members like this comment.
1497820 - 16 Jan, 2022 - 04:39PM
After just two weeks thinking of giving up. Only a few of my messages have even been read and not that many profile views. 62, live in Kent/Surrey Sussex borders, so catchment area is good, think I look younger than my years, affluent, quite well educated. Not sure this is the right place for a male over 50 sadly. Back to the drawing board!
5 members like this comment.
1457379 - 16 Jan, 2022 - 12:14PM
It takes ages when as a male you hit the grand old age of 55+ because nobody seems interested. Sadly 😢.
4 members like this comment.
1451258 - 14 Jan, 2022 - 05:48PM
I think this is entirely dependent on the people involved, some people are keen to meet straight away while others like to take their time. I can't see a right or wrong in either, also as a man I would guess I would be less worried about meeting someone, however I would love to hear ladies opinions on this point.
1 member likes this comment.
1451258 - 14 Jan, 2022 - 05:48PM
I think this is entirely dependent on the people involved, some people are keen to meet straight away while others like to take their time. I can't see a right or wrong in either, also as a man I would guess I would be less worried about meeting someone, however I would love to hear ladies opinions on this point.
1 member likes this comment.
1424835 - 14 Jan, 2022 - 10:59AM
Totally agree with @boredhousewife764 - I’ve found it’s best not to message for a prolonged period as it risks losing the spark. In fact if there’s spark and no meeting can be scheduled imminently then sometimes it’s best to dial back the messages until the meet. I think it’s a trait of using the internet to meet someone - too many options, short attention spans etc. Best to try and strike while the irons hot - move the chat from here to something more user friendly like k * k, and try to arrange something as soon as practicable…even if it’s just a quick coffee.
6 members like this comment.
1489744 - 14 Jan, 2022 - 09:44AM
As I have said earlier in the thread, there are a lot of messages at first, then they slow down. People join every day, but not necessarily in your area.
TheBoredHousewife - 14 Jan, 2022 - 06:19AM
I agree with @EmnEm123.
The messages come in thick and fast in the first few days when the scent of fresh meat is in the air. Thereafter it quietens down significantly, which for me isn’t a bad thing. Be clear about what you’re after, and be honest about it in your profile. You’ll then know who has taken the time to read it and respond appropriately. It is pretty self-evident when there is some sort of connection, and you’re not struggling for things to say. I would suggest that if there seems to be momentum, to meet as soon as schedules allow. Whether the virtual spark develops into a flame or fireworks upon meeting, is a separate conversation!
7 members like this comment.
EmnEm123 - 13 Jan, 2022 - 10:27PM
@FraserD
As I said previously on 12/12/2021, many messages as the OP implies is untrue.
Read it, it's true!
2 members like this comment.
FraserD - 13 Jan, 2022 - 09:18PM
Just think of how it would be if it was the opposite. I am a male aged 64, I have not experienced too many messages. It's disheartening, it really is a downer.
So for you, so many messages? You should be happy. Enjoy x
2 members like this comment.
Scuffmuff - 12 Jan, 2022 - 03:54PM
For me I’m happily in the know it will take time and we’ll have a fantastic time.
1 member likes this comment.
1117169 - 04 Jan, 2022 - 10:44AM
@Dom4only1
Agreed that much more could be done, especially deleting the mindless lazy profile wizard option.
A mechanism that allows the automatic viewing of the photos of the recipient when a password is volunteered, to avoid them selfishly being withheld, is long overdue and a tick box which states when people are available to meet ie daytime/ evening / weekends would be very useful.
5 members like this comment.
1492491 - 19 Dec, 2021 - 04:35PM
I find most of the issues could be solved by this website...except they're not.
They could add fields, like meetings preferences; imagine settings like "blind date" ergo you're happy to meet iwhtout picture swapping.
"photo swap first" - so you won;t meet without seeing pics.
"extensive" - pictures aloen are insufficient you want to have that magical sense of "connection" via the medium of internet text fields.
or allow for a photo swap instead of the clunky password swap we have now.
But you get the idea, this website can do so much more. How about sex preferences? So many women are not vanialle or are and there's a lot of hoops to go through, that add no value to either party, to find out.
To answer the question with the right person it doesn't take long at all.
I met some people within a day of chatting others took weeks.
There's no relation between quality, success and the time it takes...but prolonging the process lends to wasted effort.
5 members like this comment.
1465941 - 19 Dec, 2021 - 01:04PM
I think if someone wants to meet they'll make it happen. Personally, I don't play email games. After seeing each other's photos and liking them then the next step should be to talk and meet. If someone wants to play messages games after photos, I just ignore or block them. Decide on what you want and how much of something you can take and stick to it! How long can two grown ups share messages? Move on and find someone who's looking for the same thing as you.
4 members like this comment.
1457379 - 19 Dec, 2021 - 12:47AM
UKhousewife
It's the same for guys. I'm based in Warwickshire but the last four messages I've received are from ladies in Hampshire, London, Hertfordshire and East Sussex.
2 members like this comment.
ukhousewife - 17 Dec, 2021 - 05:00PM
The overwhelming number of messages mainly copy and paste dont help either. Sorting those who may be semi realistic from those who are 200 miles away when you get a real location is terribly frustrating.
3 members like this comment.
brosdavid - 16 Dec, 2021 - 09:35PM
Evening sexy girls.
Anyone fancies pre Xmas fun.
Drop me a line xx
1 member likes this comment.
1424070 - 16 Dec, 2021 - 08:02PM
Surely someone needs to develop some covid safe ppe for dating and meeting lovers…
We’re all suffering and so are the singletons 😂
1 member likes this comment.
Emma8309720 - 16 Dec, 2021 - 07:58PM
I think it's different for everyone. Go with what YOU'RE comfortable with.
I have noticed some men like to just chat...that's fine.
You could do the asking and find out. It'll either be a yes or a no 🙂
1 member likes this comment.
1457379 - 16 Dec, 2021 - 07:20PM
It takes at least 3 hours there and 3 hours back when the IE ladies from Hertfordshire are sending gifts 😂😂.
1 member likes this comment.
Paula99 - 15 Dec, 2021 - 07:56PM
Old Sapper...I don't think the Wuhan Virus is the issue...its the bloody government that are causing the problems...and people panic buying...Boris brexit money...what happened to that...😂😂🤣🤣?
1 member likes this comment.
Old Sapper - 15 Dec, 2021 - 05:39PM
Caroline Red - 15 Dec, 2021 - 04:56PM
Am I the only one who is becoming more & more cynical about this Wuhan Virus and the Government's reaction to it?
After all, weren't we being told only a year ago that only a conspiracy theorist could possibly believe that the government would be bringing in vaccine passports?
2 members like this comment.
Caroline Red - 15 Dec, 2021 - 04:56PM
With covid making a comeback we'll be just chatting for years to come
1 member likes this comment.
Old Sapper - 15 Dec, 2021 - 01:13PM
Polycarbonate - 15 Dec, 2021 - 07:17AM
I began using Soshul Meejah (as I refer to it) as a means of commenting on events and news. It was a couple of years later when I realised it could be used to meet up with people and during the last couple of jobs I did before retirement, where I was away from home a lot, I used it largely to find someone willing to give comfort to a passing stranger.
Admittedly not with a huge amount of success, but with enough to keep my hopes up!
1 member likes this comment.
Enigma.. - 15 Dec, 2021 - 10:03AM
@Sportster1200L
You are correct.
It seems that fewer people are joining the site and those who are on the site, in any/your area, you’ll prob have already chatted to and it didn’t work out for various reasons.
South West Scotland is like a desert and has been for several weeks. Male member wise that is. No new members and those that are active I’m my area were (coughs) “not meant to be”. And let’s just leave it at that lol. Even Glasgow appears to be a ghost town male member wise.
For me it means travelling to Edinburgh or Central Scotland to meet anyone new. And that means 2.5 to 3 hours travelling time just to get there?!? Not within reasonable travelling distance for me…
I’d be quicker flying to London lol.
3 members like this comment.
Polycarbonate - 15 Dec, 2021 - 07:17AM
With the age of most members being that before social media, I wonder why we have put that much use in it? We already had the ability and wherewithal to conduct an affair with a lot less kit and caboodle.
4 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 14 Dec, 2021 - 05:11PM
Text is flat at times...easier to chat on the phone or face to face....guys/women tend to type stuff that they can't say face to face...not good enough....eye contact is the test.😏
4 members like this comment.
1487365 - 14 Dec, 2021 - 04:27PM
Same here tbh... Wherefore art thou ladies of Hampshire :s
1 member likes this comment.
1495042 - 14 Dec, 2021 - 04:10PM
I wish I could find someone with millions of messages as I love it 😍
1117169 - 14 Dec, 2021 - 08:14AM
@michael64911
I suspect this problem is not confined to Dorset.
3 members like this comment.
1483866 - 13 Dec, 2021 - 06:22PM
Are there actually any women in Dorset, who want to meet and have nice times, fun and go places? It seems very sterile at present with few if any answers and no interesting conversation.
1491966 - 13 Dec, 2021 - 11:25AM
So many messages.... I wish I had that problem
1 member likes this comment.
Eligius42 - 13 Dec, 2021 - 08:24AM
The amount of time I spend chatting and it not progressing, its as if some people just want ro chat and thats it.
Not a problem with that but put rhat in your wants and desires and ill not get in touch.
Totally agree with your comment
2 members like this comment.
1477833 - 12 Dec, 2021 - 11:08PM
I wish I was too
Paula99 - 12 Dec, 2021 - 06:35PM
I wish I was inundated with messages...😂😂😂
8 members like this comment.
1489744 - 12 Dec, 2021 - 03:31PM
EmnEm123 - I agree. Yes, when you initially sign up you get a lot, but then it calms down. Maybe if you have your age requirement set at 21-99 then you will get more and waste people's time. The maximum I've seen online on here is around 1100, and that's online for whole of the UK and Ireland.
3 members like this comment.
1477290 - 12 Dec, 2021 - 03:29PM
@EmnEm123
Thanks for that info, it quite interesting to hear how things are from a woman's perspective.
Personally, those sorts of comments are red flags anyway but that has been the reason I rarely do introductions as they appear ignored.
There are lovely people here, just have to be yourself and be patient.
EmnEm123 - 12 Dec, 2021 - 03:07PM
@touchu
As a lady I speak from experience.
The women who claim to be inundated with messages are, how shall I say it, well, making it up!
If you look at the max members online, it never exceeds 1100.
I'm in the Glasgow region, why would a man from London, Manchester, etc, bother messaging me, unless just for a chat?
I'm afraid there are too many women on here who are legends in their own lifetimes.
In other words, frauds!
12 members like this comment.
WestisBest - 12 Dec, 2021 - 02:44PM
My experience seems very different to many. I don’t like long protracted messaging on here and ideally move to another platform for fast chat. Then a phone call. You can tell a lot from someone’s voice and even feel a spark. Then set a date to meet for coffee and go from there. The more you can talk and see each other early on the better.
Has worked well for me and it is a matter of taking a risk. You have to believe both people are discreet and that neither wants to break up a family. This way the honesty begins in your affair too.
5 members like this comment.
touchu - 12 Dec, 2021 - 11:23AM
I have heard from many ladies that their inboxes can be swamped.
I don’t tend to send lots of repeated messages so mine may be getting lost in the forest
I suppose that makes ice a bit harder for guys but it must be relentless for the ladies. Not sure what the answer is. But I will say that most of my replies lead to charming conversations even if it ends there :)
2 members like this comment.
1494267 - 12 Dec, 2021 - 10:55AM
Any one from Cumbria on here?
1457379 - 10 Dec, 2021 - 03:42PM
I'm afraid it takes months when your dates disappear offline or decide they feel too guilty after meeting to proceed. 🙄🙄
3 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 10 Dec, 2021 - 12:15AM
PAubergine - 07:57PM
Hello ... I'm good, thanks ... I know you're in fine form and very prolific here ... I remember the last aubergine! I'm really not bothered with the few who have a problem with ethnicity. I am who I am. Take it or leave it.
EnE123 - 09:42PM
Haha ... he actually said only English or Irish accents!!!
2 members like this comment.
EmnEm123 - 09 Dec, 2021 - 09:42PM
@Exotic
Cripes never seen anyone specifying accents before.
Must be an English thing.
I mean that in the nicest, west of Scotland accent!
1 member likes this comment.
1492359 - 09 Dec, 2021 - 09:13PM
ExoticOrchid - 09 Dec, 2021 - 07:57PM
Hi EO i hope you are well.x As you may already know my ethnicity is not listed but i dont actually mind it. In fact i think it is fun, most women are pleasently surprised when they see me or hear my voice.
3 members like this comment.
EmnEm123 - 09 Dec, 2021 - 09:02PM
@Old Sapper
You went to someone's home?
No, no, no!
Never!
1 member likes this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 09 Dec, 2021 - 07:57PM
PAubergine - 04:09PM
There areca few male profiles where they specify ethnicity and even accent!!!
1 member likes this comment.
Old Sapper - 09 Dec, 2021 - 04:21PM
csssws30 - 09 Dec, 2021 - 10:33AM
"No doubt she then took you by the hand into the living room where there was a surprise swingers party and your eyes opened wide with delight at the opportunity."
No such luck I'm afraid. From what I remember, this was 20+ years ago, her Decree Nisi had just been granted and she wanted to let her hair down!
Old Sapper - 09 Dec, 2021 - 04:19PM
Peaches1 - 08 Dec, 2021 - 10:46PM
Must have been a classy old bird then!
She was a little older than me, but still rather presentable!
In truth she was on the verge of getting divorced, nisi waiting for absolute, and wanted to let her hair and some other things down.
1492359 - 09 Dec, 2021 - 04:09PM
Don't rush. As an example, a random lady approached me we struck up a very brief conversation and although i wasn't interested her actions surprised me to the point i feel it forms good evidence to why taking your time is important...
Her main concern was to ask me about my ethnicity to which i responded i am mixed race. She replied "I see. Thanks." Then promptly blocked me...
In her defense her profile did have something along the lines of "WHITES ONLY"... (lol yes in 2021) ...anyway with much respect, each to their own... i was just being polite and reciprocating.
Take your time, you don't know what opinions the other party may have so its worth establishing at least that you are compatible both mentally and physically if you are seeking something longer term.
3 members like this comment.
csssws30 - 09 Dec, 2021 - 10:33AM
Ricki 54 - 06 Dec, 2021 - 10:34PM
It’s so hard to weed out the loosers and find genuine sincere people here
Bit harsh calling anyone a looser, the success of the website has undoubtedly made it harder to find someone on her, but the do exist perseverance is key.
Old Sapper - 08 Dec, 2021 - 05:51PM
"Within a minute of her opening the door and letting me in, we were kissing and I had my hand inside her knickers!"
No doubt she then took you by the hand into the living room where there was a surprise swingers party and your eyes opened wide with delight at the opportunity.
2 members like this comment.
Peaches1 - 08 Dec, 2021 - 10:46PM
Old Sapper - 08 Dec, 2021 - 05:51PM
"Within a minute of her opening the door and letting me in, we were kissing and I had my hand inside her knickers!"
Must have been a classy old bird then!
2 members like this comment.
Old Sapper - 08 Dec, 2021 - 05:51PM
"....and there is of course a downside to staying online for too long. And that is simply that it does tend to kill off the initial enthusiasm you might have had when you first started to exchange thoughts with each other."
Well said Wendyl71. I still recall my first meeting with someone off the web. We'd been using a message system for a week or so and had begun to get rather carried away with the messages and when we met things got VERY sexual!
Within a minute of her opening the door and letting me in, we were kissing and I had my hand inside her knickers!
1491311 - 08 Dec, 2021 - 10:34AM
From a woman's point of view I can see the difficulty. You don't want to waste your time and energy on someone who isn't as they claim to be. That in itself is a downside of the internet. It is to pretend to be a better version of yourself. You can to some extent avoid that by messaging for a bit and to seek out the inconsistencies between the profile and how someone responds. If they haven't been genuine, they will trip over themselves quite easily.
That however shouldn't have to take months, and there is of course a downside to staying online for too long. And that is simply that it does tend to kill off the initial enthusiasm you might have had when you first started to exchange thoughts with each other. So, in summary of my point: Use your judgement, but I would be inclined to say if you have doubts about meeting someone after let's say 2 weeks, then you know something is not right. And for the person wishing to meet: if you're connecting on all levels, 2 weeks really isn't that long to wait.
4 members like this comment.
1487365 - 07 Dec, 2021 - 11:47PM
The obvious answer is to put in your profile what you are looking for, some people just want to get their buzz from chatting and not meet up. Being straight up from the start saves everyone a lot of time and frustration.
3 members like this comment.
1117169 - 07 Dec, 2021 - 06:53PM
@csssws30
An hour "At least" between your first message and meeting? Really?!
Sounds like a different site to to me!
5 members like this comment.
Old Sapper - 07 Dec, 2021 - 05:45PM
Much will depend on how quickly you both want to meet.
Some people, usually the men, will be very keen to meet and some, often the ladies, will prefer to take things at a slower pace.
I would say "suck it and see" and take your lead from the person you are corresponding with.
~Good luck either way.
1 member likes this comment.
Rob180172 - 07 Dec, 2021 - 10:30AM
I'd like to think that after a week or few weeks tops if both people are ready then meeting up wouldn't or shouldn't be a problem, whether it's just for a drink or for Sex which ever is talked about.
3 members like this comment.
1493328 - 06 Dec, 2021 - 10:34PM
It’s so hard to weed out the loosers and find genuine sincere people here
5 members like this comment.
csssws30 - 06 Dec, 2021 - 08:13PM
I think you should have a gap of at least one hour between initial introductions and actually meeting in person. Obviously if they live 4 hours away then the gap increases slightly.
Strike when the irons hot, because it goes cold very quickly in here
1 member likes this comment.
Andyoxf - 02 Dec, 2021 - 05:35AM
I would always like to meet as soon as possible. I much prefer to chat in person, and I never feel a picture shows what sometime really looks like. As to how long it takes... I'm sure you've seen couples form after knowing each other for years and others meet and be kissing within minutes. It's up to you. Why wait? If it doesn't work, move on, you haven't lost anything.
6 members like this comment.
Jillscott - 01 Dec, 2021 - 07:30AM
Yes, but https @dazedandconfused how youn were you when you were dating and single. 😂
On your other point about age, I find it’s the men who are looking for a woman who looks about 20.
I was on here years ago when my marriage was going downhill. Met plenty of men who claimed to be in their 40s on profile, only to realise he is closer to 60 in real life.
When I was younger I definitely had more messages. Truth is, plenty of men looking for the same type of girl they used to date pre-marriage, years ago.
Recently changed my profile to be super strict in order to limit time wasters.
5 members like this comment.
1492380 - 29 Nov, 2021 - 04:01PM
Whenever the time feels right, if the initial chemistry is there, then go for it!....good luck
FluffyClouds - 29 Nov, 2021 - 01:25PM
PrepotentAubergine - ha ha ha, very amusing
1 member likes this comment.
1492359 - 29 Nov, 2021 - 12:12PM
You dont ask, you dont get. Reminds me of the famous saying...
I said you wanna be startin' somethin'
You got to be startin' somethin'
I said you wanna be startin' somethin'
You got to be startin' somethin'
- Stephen Hawking
3 members like this comment.
1474148 - 27 Nov, 2021 - 11:36PM
@HoneyBunny7 maybe, maybe I’m an absolute dog, but I have never had an issue in real life. I don’t mean beating women off but a reasonable ratio of success when I was single / dating etc.
1481947 - 27 Nov, 2021 - 05:19PM
I’ve been here on and off for about 2 years , meeting quickly works for me , within a week to two weeks maximum. Three of my most exciting IE’s made the effort to come and meet within days , it demonstrates the spontaneity, the eagerness and commitment to the excitement so often promised in peoples profiles. They were obviously rewarded for their efforts !
2 members like this comment.
1489744 - 27 Nov, 2021 - 05:11PM
DazedandConfused77 - regardless of what some people may argue on here, it's not necessarily what age you are, but how you look.
3 members like this comment.
EmnEm123 - 27 Nov, 2021 - 05:06PM
@DazedandConfused
I don't understand why, unless the women in your age group are looking for toy boys!
That's never been my cup of tea, but each to their own.
1474148 - 27 Nov, 2021 - 02:16PM
After roughly 6 months I have come to the realisation it’s a waste of time for anyone over 50, unless of course you look like a 35 year old . I’m sure there are plenty of women in their 50s and 60s that have great success but it doesn’t feel possible for your typical 50 year old guy.
I’m sure plenty will disagree but that’s my experience.
Time to move on, maybe take up golf 😂
1457379 - 26 Nov, 2021 - 08:45PM
Good to have a few views and to be noticed. Doesn't look like anyone from near Warwickshire reads the letters though 😢.
1 member likes this comment.
EmnEm123 - 26 Nov, 2021 - 03:24PM
@HoneyBunny
Absolutely!
I'm tired of men who supposedly tick all of my boxes, but not quite.
Get real, I'm tall, slim, not big boobed!
If a man is looking for a big bum, big boobs, curvy, that's his taste and he's entitled to it.
I'm bored with the ugly, little whining
2 members like this comment.
1489744 - 26 Nov, 2021 - 10:38AM
EmnEm123 - I hear you and totally agree. Judging by quite a number of the pics I've seen, some men really do need to have a reality check and a good hard look in the mirror. Though from some of the chats Is have with men, some women do too.
1 member likes this comment.
1489744 - 26 Nov, 2021 - 10:27AM
ClassyLady77 - out of curiosity, if you're willing to share, what lame excuses have you received for men about not taking things further?
2 members like this comment.
into the beyond - 26 Nov, 2021 - 07:03AM
Linking in with another thread about fairy tales.....you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince!!!!
5 members like this comment.
ClassyLady77 - 25 Nov, 2021 - 09:27PM
I find it slow waiting for the man to ask to meet for a date.. I never ask.. 🤷🏼♀️
I’ve met a lot of men who just want dates they can’t take the next step.. even with good connections. However rather than admit it they make lame excuses.. 🤦🏼♀️
1490290 - 25 Nov, 2021 - 07:44PM
In my limited experience of affairs (yet to actually have sexual relations) I found that the rule book on everything gets thrown out of the window.
Given you have loads of messages you're likely female. Be open minded, prepared to exit your comfort zone...
I'm chatting to a lovely lady now... it may go nowhere but I feel so alive at just the thought of merely a gentle kiss on her lips.
RosePetal0007 - 25 Nov, 2021 - 06:38PM
I think get 2 the point after picture’s swapping if there’s any spark ask 4 a date…
2 members like this comment.
Littleminx8953 - 25 Nov, 2021 - 05:21PM
Think 2022. Hopefully January not December; it can take ages.
EmnEm123 - 25 Nov, 2021 - 04:01PM
Apart from @Maria Jones, the last few posts on this thread are rather whining and complaining.
What did you expect, a long, never ending line of men/women interested in YOU?
No-one is that special (myself included).
Once again I say, don't expect everyone you message will to want to fuck you.
It's you lot who are ruining this site.
There are genuine people who want to meet, be it for an affair or a short term arrangement.
If a man I'm chatting to wants to go for it with me and I him, great.
I will not meet/message anyone whom I know I wouldn't find attractive in a social setting.
Again, I'm 5'10", slim, look after myself, I think I've always had a modern outlook on life.
What do I want with a 5'7", lazy, fat guy whom,, for some on here, have never had a young day in their lives.
There are, 'real' people on here, I know, I have met them.
If you haven't, tough, stop trying to run down the genuine people.
5 members like this comment.
Littleminx8953 - 25 Nov, 2021 - 02:51PM
Expect ages. It's a slow, tedious process and you are going to come acvross a lot of people that you basically don't fancy; it's life
2 members like this comment.
Fun4james - 25 Nov, 2021 - 02:35PM
New to this and hoping there are some genuine people on here?
2 members like this comment.
Maria Jones - 25 Nov, 2021 - 02:12PM
Be interested be patient and be prepared to laugh at this whole situation. you'll do fine.
2 members like this comment.
1340024 - 25 Nov, 2021 - 12:33PM
Patience and perseverance are the operative words. The amount of no replies or send the picture password then a blank nothing, god I just don't at the time understand some ladies on here A polite not interested would be just god manners
2 members like this comment.
Maxheadroom2014 - 25 Nov, 2021 - 12:25PM
If you are looking for a quick lay go on tinder bumble etc,. The difficulty here is that we are looking for woman who are dissatisfied with thier men/lives/experience and can be picky.
If a woman local to me wants the same things as I do great, but if not it'll be my last renewal.
Have had much better hit rates in other platforms, but I'm personally looking for a steady woman who is happy cheating with a married man.
Sounds like unicorn hunting when I write it down 😂
1490598 - 25 Nov, 2021 - 11:39AM
Site does work. I have met someone everytime I have used it. It can happen quickly or slowly. It's like a microcosm of real life. If you aren't attracting people in real life it's not going to happen her either. You need to bring your A game for sure. Seem to have cleared out lot of the fake profiles this time at least.
wildparadiso - 24 Nov, 2021 - 11:47PM
I think everyone has to be patience. Men and women are incapable of processing vast amounts of messages quickly , so carry on reaching out, and wait to see when and who responds. And wear a condom. Everytime you respond ☺️
Old Sapper - 22 Nov, 2021 - 04:45PM
One of the problems with dating sites is that there is usually a vast preponderance of men to women so the women can afford to pick & choose more than the men can.
Patience is the operative word.
1 member likes this comment.
1489744 - 22 Nov, 2021 - 01:14PM
Littledawg - whilst you may think that most women on here want the opposite to what they have at home i.e. tall and handsome, I for one, do have tall and handsome at home, so I'm not downgrading in the looks department. I'm looking for fun, excitement and adventure, the things I am actually lacking at home.
2 members like this comment.
1457379 - 19 Nov, 2021 - 08:15PM
The fact that nobody has even looked at my profile for over a week, tells me to not be too hopeful.
1490290 - 18 Nov, 2021 - 08:19PM
I was a member of a now defunct infidelity site called Huush. I met twice with a lady on there (no spark between us) but the fact that she mentioned she was a member of IE gave me confidence that there are genuine folks on here.
I've got a three week plan and have entered with high hopes but low expectations!
1 member likes this comment.
1483417 - 18 Nov, 2021 - 06:15PM
I think yhere is a disconnect between what women say they want and what they actually want. The truth is the vast majority of women want the same 20% of men. Tall, handsome. On this site that dynamic is even worse as the women on here are looking for an alternative to the man they have at home and hence the majority of men on here! I am kind, I have many of the character traits the women on here say they want but once my profile has been viewed I get pretty much zero interest. I'm 5"7' and 53 years old. Better get used to celibacy I guess.
2 members like this comment.
SemperFi - 16 Nov, 2021 - 05:30PM
It really depends. The first time I used the site, I had a seven year relationship with the first person I met. Second time, a couple of weird dates, the third time, nothing at all. This time, we’ll see. Just keep at it. I really think it’s just a matter of luck.
PS: if you’re a man, it seems everyone wants you to be tall. Frustrating if you’re 5’7” like me!
rarity23 - 16 Nov, 2021 - 03:50PM
Just be patient, and read profiles carefully.
There are plenty of genuine women on this site.
2 members like this comment.
1488984 - 15 Nov, 2021 - 08:44PM
I’m an online virgin, though not new to playing away!
I’m old school, sceptical about affair sites, not know protocol but my early thought is that little chance of finding that one special lady friend!
Don’t think that I’m that bad looking but after initial contact with any ladies they disappear with out any comment- makes me feel they are fake ladies!
I could be wrong and to keen to find a friend but I’m giving up hope
Any tips on how to create that contact are clearly needed
1 member likes this comment.
Heartticker39 - 14 Nov, 2021 - 10:31PM
Trying this website for the first time. So many rubbish websites out there. Any real people here?
3 members like this comment.
EmnEm123 - 14 Nov, 2021 - 10:30PM
This time around I haven't been interested in meeting anyone.
A few years ago I did meet someone for a quick 'hook up'. I did see him again and again and again....!
You can't force it, don't get disheartened, better no-one than a wrong un
6 members like this comment.
Peaches1 - 14 Nov, 2021 - 07:28PM
It takes a very, very long time unless you get lucky. If you're just into a quick hook up probably less so but it's unlikely you will see them again.
3 members like this comment.
1483395 - 14 Nov, 2021 - 04:50PM
I joined on the 25 Oct, used a generic profile and then decided no, that was not good enough so I wrote my own... result, some interest, a few messages exchanged then nothing. I cannot be on the site 24/7 and am not able to accommodate but can travel with own car - I am seriously doubting this site even works, or anyone out there is interested in meeting a 55 plus male....only chat - am i being perhaps a bit too cynical here?
2 members like this comment.
Paula99 - 14 Nov, 2021 - 04:26PM
Its important that you meet quickly as the longer you chat in here...it won't happen....but you can call each other and that makes it easier....I never rush these things as somethings are worth the wait and I need to work it through my head x
3 members like this comment.
1475619 - 14 Nov, 2021 - 02:51PM
It would be nice to get a reply from a message, one step at a time
2 members like this comment.
1352614 - 14 Nov, 2021 - 02:47PM
Depends in you feel a conection.Could be after 3,4 messages go with what feels right
Youandme2 - 14 Nov, 2021 - 01:16PM
It's hard enough to meet someone suitable in person let alone online. Perhaps it gets more difficult, the older I get as I just won't settle. Someone can be perfectly nice but you just don't 'click' . The one person I did really click with and left my husband for went on to cheat me with numerous other women...
hazle-eyes - 14 Nov, 2021 - 09:48AM
I’ve been on here on and off for 3 years, still not a single person is interested. After this week I will be leaving, but I honestly wish everyone the best of luck here and hope you find what you’re looking for….
I am simply not eloquent enough with words and I think too dull. But I did click with someone a number of years back and I had a wonderful experience and I guess that was my time and it is never to repeated for me. Thankyou to all of those who were kind and keep safe everyone.
6 members like this comment.
Ddonna - 26 Oct, 2021 - 11:02PM
Just be open and honest. If you want a quick meet up. Then just put it out there. Life’s to short 😊
1 member likes this comment.
FluffyClouds - 26 Oct, 2021 - 09:32PM
TallGeek - there's no problem finding a 'fuck' on here if that's what you're after, it's not difficult. Finding something more than an easy lay take more time.
3 members like this comment.
1485497 - 26 Oct, 2021 - 08:43PM
I found that you are hooked and then after a couple of messages the majority of women loose interest or don’t want to commit
1 member likes this comment.
Benedict21 - 21 Oct, 2021 - 01:56PM
Jump in quickly and talk on the phone. Or arrange a coffee. There is no point in spending too long with messages.
7 members like this comment.
1482832 - 20 Oct, 2021 - 07:01PM
I'm fairly new on here, and to this in general, but I would imagine there will be a point where you feel comfortable enough to move to that stage.....I would say though that gut feeling is generally right, therefore, if it doesn't feel right, just hang fire.....
1117169 - 20 Oct, 2021 - 06:25AM
@lucylocket29
Sorry to hear that. Men get this all the time.
If you don't arrange to meet within about a week, without a good reason - beware the classic excuses, you are talking to a chatter not a meeter.
4 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 18 Oct, 2021 - 11:07PM
Happy fun times - 10:07PM
"don't have to be 6ft tall and a hunk"
Sure helps if they are though!!! 😉🤣👍
1 member likes this comment.
1473251 - 18 Oct, 2021 - 11:01PM
Another 6 weeks wasted on another time waster for me! I give up! No warning. Just disappeared. I think I’m too naive. I give up!
Happy fun times - 18 Oct, 2021 - 10:07PM
You don’t have to be 6ft tall and a hunk as @doublejabbedandstilallive said!
Open and honest is great and don’t be offended if someone says it’s not for them. If I’m not for someone then I bow out nicely.
It’s better to meet someone for a drink quite quickly because I do find the interest can go off the boil so to speak if it becomes more like a pen pal! 😀
3 members like this comment.
TallGeek - 14 Oct, 2021 - 10:48AM
I don't know how long it normally takes as this was my first time on here. However, for me I joined at the end of September and spent yesterday morning in a hotel room with my new lover making a disgraceful mess of the bedsheets.
There were others I spoke with where we didn't click for whatever reason or had incompatible requirements but they were all after someone to fuck. "Wanna fuck?" is not usually enough, but weeks or months of chat is also not what's needed. If you get on then get on with it and bang one another, if you don't click then move on.
5 members like this comment.
1481371 - 13 Oct, 2021 - 04:31PM
I have only just joined and have no idea how long things might take. I have sent a few messages by way of introduction, not had any responses yet, that maybe because I haven't managed to sound interesting, or more likely I'm not the ideal age group for them. It is what it is, if it was easy we wouldn't need a third party set up as an interface. As discretion is a massive part of the requirement it's understandable that there is a lot of caution around. Also if you ladies get a lot of messages I would only say for me, I wouldn't be offended if a reply came a week or so after I had sent my message, it's a big step. Though I'd prefer not to know I wasn't first choice! haha
Harvey32 - 12 Oct, 2021 - 09:56PM
It is probably easier if you live in a city or in central England otherwise you do not get any responses or replies
1479721 - 12 Oct, 2021 - 09:37PM
I have been on here twice before and it has only ever take a long week or 2.
I think honestly it’s so much harder for guys, because women get so many messages we have to stand out to be seen. Women tend to have their pick of the pile. If you’re not 6ft and a hunk it’s very difficult to be seen.
That being said, I have always found success by being open and honest and having a good profile (please don’t look, I have not created it yet 😂)
3 members like this comment.
hazle-eyes - 11 Oct, 2021 - 02:01PM
I think it’s genuinely hard for the ladies on here as they get so many messages. If I get a reply (which is rare) I then say something daft I think to mess it up. I reckon I get 1 in 50 but actually in person I am much better than writing stuff on here also for the 2 people I have met they said I look much better than my photos…
Onein21 - 11 Oct, 2021 - 10:10AM
Thanks @Salt and Pepper...it does feel like it could be ;)
1 member likes this comment.
1457379 - 11 Oct, 2021 - 12:00AM
Onein21
From experience, it'll be another tumbleweed moment.
Onein21 - 10 Oct, 2021 - 10:48PM
How long does it take...well as a newbie to this IE, I think that I will get more views from this post than any replies to the messages that I individually craft and weave to the lovely array of women on this site....or will I have another tumbleweed moment and not get anything in return? ;)
2 members like this comment.
newguy970 - 10 Oct, 2021 - 08:48PM
What if you have been getting on well with someone and they say they are happy to meet up , then when you ask when they are free they dont reply
3 members like this comment.
1480766 - 10 Oct, 2021 - 05:44PM
I don't think there is an golden rule. It all depends on you and how you feel. You know when the time is right and it can be totally different from one person to the next.
If this person likes you I'm sure they are feeling the same.
1 member likes this comment.
Sarah E - 10 Oct, 2021 - 05:02PM
Be straight and up-front about what you want. If you want to move quickly (e.g. you don't want a relationship, just sex) - say that! Maybe not quite as bluntly, but tell it like it is. That way you'll hopefully attract others who want the same.
Read the profile - if you like it, ask for their picture password, and offer yours. That'll speed things along one way or another!
Don't lie about your physical appearance or put up old photo's - you're only gonna fool people for so long and ultimately you probably won't get any further in your search. Imagine how you'd feel if you thought you'd lucked out and were about to meet some gloriously gorgeous person - and they were nothing like what you'd been led to believe...
10 members like this comment.
241014 - 10 Oct, 2021 - 02:48PM
You have to work this out with them.
Some people have a lot of flexibility and could meet on the drop of a hat.
Others have complicated lives and need to plan. But their delay isn’t necessarily an indication of uninterest.
6 members like this comment.
1457379 - 10 Oct, 2021 - 01:32PM
There is no magic formula but maintain your own polite standards and self respect. Don't be dragged down to somebody else's level.
6 members like this comment.
1466140 - 10 Oct, 2021 - 11:39AM
Hi. I would love to know what magic formula you need to meet someone? I am genuine, kind, polite and I do not treat women disrespectfully. I am unhappy in my marriage and I dearly want to meet someone with the same needs. Are there any women out there like that?
1 member likes this comment.
hazle-eyes - 10 Oct, 2021 - 11:08AM
I am not sure how long it takes, I thought I had been on here a year but been on 2 after looking at the messages which was a real shock. I thought the other day when one kind lady member reached out to me as said keep going I should check how long I have been trying to find someone. I have come to the conclusion that I am doing pretty much everything wrong. I have been in an unfulfilling marriage for years and a job that took up a lot of my time. I’ve tried to be funny and humorous that seems to end in a disaster. I am not going to be suggestive and yes I personalise the messages from what I can get from the profiles. I am coming to the conclusion that I’m the problem which is one of the reasons I think I seriously need to work on myself physically and perhaps just enjoy like solo as much as I can…
1458849 - 27 Sep, 2021 - 07:46AM
Lorraine2,you forgot the hard nupples 🤨. John maybe save it for your orivate messages .
Chezley - 27 Sep, 2021 - 04:59AM
Lorraine2
You couldn't run a mile, your knees won't let you.
3 members like this comment.
Lorraine2 - 26 Sep, 2021 - 09:50PM
Johnbb7
I’ve just checked your profile out and it would make me run a mile.
Soft lips , wet pussy. Give your head a wobble mate. Way over the top. Well for me anyway , I guess each to there own and no doubt some woman like that type of thing.
8 members like this comment.
1352053 - 26 Sep, 2021 - 03:31PM
Wonder if it is just myself. I have been a member of IE twice prior to lockdown with many connections and met a couple of amazing ladies. I rejoined a week ago and the dynamic on the site has completely changed, trite contrived messages (bots) and I feel like I am messaging into a vacuum?
6 members like this comment.
Letsdothisnowok? - 25 Sep, 2021 - 11:33PM
Ask what works for them - how long does it take them to be comfortable to meet, is not asking to meet ?
1 member likes this comment.
Letsdothisnowok? - 25 Sep, 2021 - 11:31PM
like social media marketing, you have to build awareness, then interest and then desire, it takes time and effort but the more you work at it, messaging potentials and turning them into probables... the more contact you have the more likely your success statues will be. Unfortunately the wider you trawl , the more likely you are to get fake profile responses but over time if you have a screening criteria eg be polite to everyone and if after a week or so they aren't willing to talk offline or meet then politely exit and move onto others.
Letsdothisnowok? - 25 Sep, 2021 - 11:20PM
build good relationships online and hopefully good physical experiences follow. Everyone works at a different pace. Don't assume you're a fit for everyone, they have the right to be selective and the good looking women will all be overloaded with messages.
1372703 - 21 Sep, 2021 - 11:51AM
I have been on for a while. Last week I took my other half out to lunch at the local only to find the young lady behind the bar, had a crush on me for months. I have an opportunity later this week to take her out, away from here for lunch and chat. She is 26 and prefers older more experienced men.
1471685 - 17 Sep, 2021 - 01:44PM
I have met one lady since I have been on here, a delightful lady but not for each other. I find that my age is off putting, no one seems interesting a looking past what they feel is a very negative aspect. I’m not looking for young women, I want someone close to my own age - after all, one wants someone to talk to afterwards 😊
2 members like this comment.
Bukowski69 - 12 Sep, 2021 - 05:47PM
Shoot me down, but if you establish a connection, then you need to meet next.
What's wrong with a few coffees or chat in a bar. That's going to be the real start and test.
This texting and social media, is not real. We are looking for a real lover. Physically attractive.
So do offer to meet. Be safe and sensible, but talk.
I guess VC might also work and telephone could too.
5 members like this comment.
Steven 811 - 08 Sep, 2021 - 10:25PM
Was wondering how long a wait before you ask for her number .
New to all this ,,, chatting up ladys it's a but scary ,,, and don't want offended , but be nice to get me confidence back ,,,
1 member likes this comment.
Gallowglass666 - 08 Sep, 2021 - 04:36PM
In truth- it's a sellers market with the female of the species having the upper hand. Some want to chat, some just want compliments. Sometimes asking to meet is too soon, sometimes not soon enough, sometimes people say they want to meet and then disappear- there are no hard and fast rules on a timescale, people; we just have to hope we are on the same one!
2 members like this comment.
1457379 - 08 Sep, 2021 - 02:42PM
Enigma
Not all men here are rude or impatient.
2 members like this comment.
Keeley345 - 08 Sep, 2021 - 02:26PM
I've met all of my partners male and female online. Apart from 1 so not all...lol. I exchange messages and within a week or a few days, we've exchanged numbers and met. I like guys and girls who get straight to the point i.e Can we chat offline and meet soon? And by the end of the week a date is being arranged. I've had lots of success meeting people online but it helps that they're straight forward and keen to meet asap.
3 members like this comment.
Enigma.. - 08 Sep, 2021 - 12:40PM
Lucylocket29….
If after 2 weeks you haven’t exchanged numbers!?! Mark him up as a time waster.
Apologies if that sounds harsh but we are not on here to find penpals lol.
There are to many players and time wasters on this site.
5 members like this comment.
Enigma.. - 08 Sep, 2021 - 12:35PM
Salt and Pepper….
I have no access to my mobile during working hours “security”.
But a lot of mannerless, impatient, rude etc men on this site are not willing to wait and hear, a perfectly reasonable explanation, as to why I couldn’t reply to their message straight away. Anyhoo…. Their loss 😏.
3 members like this comment.
1457379 - 07 Sep, 2021 - 11:09PM
kycylocket29.
Agreed.
1 member likes this comment.
1473251 - 07 Sep, 2021 - 09:39PM
I was messaging someone for 4 weeks…he kept saying we would meet..kept me hanging on…I should have said ‘see ya later’ a lot sooner. Massive time waster and when I said I feel like this isn’t going to happen it then he said I needed to try and be more chilled about the situation! If you’re on here to meet then arrange it an do it. Otherwise we are just wasting our time.
6 members like this comment.
1457379 - 06 Sep, 2021 - 11:27PM
I could try for my blocked for no reason hat--trick tomorrow?
1457379 - 06 Sep, 2021 - 11:01PM
So that must be a record on here today. Blocked by two people and I haven't a clue why. The first asked for my photo and then didn't give me the chance to reply. The second we seemed to be getting on well and then blocked me this evening, and again we hadn't exchanged photos.
The wonders of this site!
Stardawg - 06 Sep, 2021 - 07:56PM
All I found out about this website is that here are to many fake profiles and I stop bothering
1 member likes this comment.
Bukowski69 - 04 Sep, 2021 - 09:27AM
I think until you meet, conversation is of limited value. So better to meet, once the nutjob filter is sorted out. Have a coffee and also I found it takes at least 30 minutes to get the real conversation going. But I guess instant attraction is best.
6 members like this comment.
1472253 - 03 Sep, 2021 - 04:31PM
Pa55ionatefun - you need to keep your eye on new members when you get notified of them, if they seem a match or interest you then message. If I am chatting to someone or a couple I like or about to meet, I don't respond or look at profiles.
2 members like this comment.
1472253 - 03 Sep, 2021 - 04:27PM
I think some of the not responding or looking at profiles could be down to that the woman is already chatting to someone or has a few she is chatting to. Therefore, at the moment she doesn't want to get into opening another profile and responding and get bogged down.
2 members like this comment.
1460169 - 02 Sep, 2021 - 05:21PM
Salt and pepper, so true. I see so many first messages opened. Put effort into it. Half don't look at your profile and other 40 percent no reply. It's very hard work for a man
3 members like this comment.
1457379 - 02 Sep, 2021 - 12:29AM
Kaitlin3, I think that's the point here that guys don't receive replies very often or tons of messages and so it's really difficult to find the common ground.
1 member likes this comment.
1457379 - 02 Sep, 2021 - 12:29AM
Kaitlin3, I think that's the point here that guys don't receive replies very often or tons of messages and so it's really difficult to find the common ground.
2 members like this comment.
kaitlin3 - 01 Sep, 2021 - 10:43PM
You need a lot of patience going through the tons of messages. And you both need to find common ground.
1 member likes this comment.
1457379 - 01 Sep, 2021 - 07:46PM
UnkyP123. Welcome to the wonderful world of IE.
MangeTu - 25 Aug, 2021 - 09:14PM
Depends a great deal on who is localish to you and what s/he is looking for. Some have a brother/sister type relationship at home and some are neglected. Some want sex and some want a more complete bf/gf type of experience.
Dunno why you'd spend weeks chatting on here with somebody though. If you think s/he is interesting, pick up the phone PDQ.
6 members like this comment.
1466309 - 25 Aug, 2021 - 08:29PM
I'm really trying to understand what to do on IE.
I follow the advice and write something witty, some love it, some not. My profile is as honest as I can make it. Some want my PW, some not. I exchange messages and then they see my photos and go 'ooh no', I get others that see my photos straight away, go yes and then don't respond again.
There's so many dormant profiles that answers are few and far between.
I try to temper my enthusiasm when I reply, but then no response.
I'm totally confused. I've been married for nearly 30 years, never done this before.
There must be someone out there that can save me, I just don't seem to be able to get through.
So, how long does it take? I've had a couple of unsuccessful meets, so in my case, some time..
5 members like this comment.
1469669 - 25 Aug, 2021 - 01:59PM
Weeks of chatting to see if you are compatible? Give me a break. I know if I am on the same wavelength after an hour of continuous messaging. If you like the look of each other in the pics just arrange a meet. It's only at that point you decide if there may be a possibility of a real affair. To me, anyone chatting for days just aren't serious and quite frankly, it's tedious.
13 members like this comment.
1463105 - 24 Aug, 2021 - 08:59PM
When you find someone you'd like to meet, it can sometimes be a fine line between getting excited enough to let them know, and coming on too strong so as to scare them off
3 members like this comment.
1240949 - 23 Aug, 2021 - 10:47PM
When you feel ready, then it’s time, don’t be pushed into it, if the excitement and attraction is real you’ll be there!
Funtobe22 - 21 Aug, 2021 - 09:53PM
Life is to short embrace it would love to meet someone to make my life that bit exciting
Funtobe22 - 21 Aug, 2021 - 09:51PM
Same hear would love to meet someone to add spice to our lives is it really that difficult
1457849 - 21 Aug, 2021 - 01:48PM
I tend to meet asap, sometimes chatting for a few weeks can build up expectations and then when you meet and find there's no chemistry it's disappointing.
9 members like this comment.
1467074 - 21 Aug, 2021 - 01:09PM
A couple of weeks seems sufficient to exchange messages/photos (the correct order is debatable) and perhaps speak by phone, by which time you have a reasonable idea about whether you want to meet in person or not. Depending upon what you're after, I feel that meeting up requires a level of trust that needs to be both earned and conferred, and for some people this may take more time.
5 members like this comment.
FluffyClouds - 21 Aug, 2021 - 12:00PM
Enigma - I don't think that's harsh at all. To be honest, I like to meet within a week. I have met a few within a week because if there is a mutual attraction, then meeting up as soon as is the logical next step. You then know whether you like each other in the flesh and can then take it from there. I want to get on with an affair, not an online correspondence.
5 members like this comment.
ClassyLady77 - 21 Aug, 2021 - 10:47AM
If you like someone then arrange a date. Weeds out the genuine ones pretty quickly imo. Atm it’s hard with summer holidays and hubby WFH. But these are not permanent.. can’t wait for my freedom back in a few weeks.. 😀
8 members like this comment.
TaintedPrincess - 13 Aug, 2021 - 11:23PM
Having had literally hundreds of messages, it takes a while to get through them and chat to guys to determine who is genuine and maybe compatible, especially during the summer holidays with a husband and kids at home 24/7 too. Working from home etc has changed lots for me but I'd hope that anyone suitable is willing to be patient for that first meeting x
4 members like this comment.
Blue-lagoon - 13 Aug, 2021 - 08:03PM
Just be greatful for alot of messages etc. It coukd be like me and have very little to nothing.
3 members like this comment.
Sophisticat2 - 08 Aug, 2021 - 06:06PM
I agree there are to many people who are into the fantasy and lead you in just yo talk but won’t follow through or you find out they are after some compensation for your time . Meting i’m person takes out all the anomalies if they are really interested
1 member likes this comment.
Secretaccomplice4u - 03 Aug, 2021 - 02:25PM
During lockdown you'd expect to chat a lot more and of course not everyone can get away easily.
But if they keep putting you off perhaps they're more interested in a fantasy relationship rather than a physical one.
3 members like this comment.
Enigma.. - 02 Aug, 2021 - 09:49AM
I’m happy to chat on the site for a couple of weeks. After that, if we are no further forward, I assume the gent isn’t all that interested and I’ll start looking for someone else.
I prefer to chat on the site, exchange numbers, exchange pics, WhatsApp, a couple of phones when we can, arrange to meet up and take things from there.
If that hasn’t happened within a few weeks?!?
Then it’s a goodbye from me.
This, to some, might seem a tad harsh. But their is a BIG difference between genuine interest and time wasting. And there are a lot of time wasters on here.
13 members like this comment.
1465594 - 31 Jul, 2021 - 09:29PM
I agree with some of the comments above, there should be no rule on when to meet but if you can gauge it from the start if there’s a good chemistry with prompt messages response then better to arrange something quite quickly otherwise this spark would tend to fade out quite quickly.
1 member likes this comment.
1466122 - 31 Jul, 2021 - 08:47PM
I would say chat on here for a little while, make your first date arrangements on here, exchange numbers the night before, save it to your email and text the day of meeting or chat on the phone to get excitement going.....
I personally wouldn't tell anyone.
1 member likes this comment.
1463356 - 31 Jul, 2021 - 03:31PM
Endless messages are tedious. Video call? No thanks and I'm not a bot or a scammer. Talk about dragging it out. If I like the profile, like the pics and like the messages, then just meet somewhere safe.
2 members like this comment.
Dayuse - 31 Jul, 2021 - 12:16PM
When I was last on here, pre-pandemic, after the initial rush of messages, things normalised and I found that I had to initiate most contacts (whether because I'm a man, or my profile didn't have the desired effect).
About 1 in 15 people contacted responded, and many more were active on the site. After maybe 4 or 5 faltering steps - conversations initiated but no real chemistry), I met up with a couple of people. Both were after perhaps 30 or so messages exchanged and a couple of weeks of chatting. I was lucky enough to meet someone special at the second attempt, and our relationship continued for over a year until they moved away (really).
I've recently re-joined the site, and I have noticed less activity - undoubtedly the pandemic has had an effect - and as a result, less interaction. Though I imagine that once you do make a connection, the same time to click applies.
2 members like this comment.
1117169 - 31 Jul, 2021 - 09:11AM
I suggest, as a guideline.
Chat on here for a couple of days, then chat offline on something like KIk (as its often more convenient and also totally secure and discreet) for another couple of days, then talk on the phone if you trust each other or even a video call for the next couple of days.
If all is promising then after about a week one of you should suggest meeting. If the response is not positive or its evasive, then you are probably talking to a chatter not a meeter. Move on and don't look back.
Your mileage may vary of course depending on circumstances or preferences.
5 members like this comment.
1368604 - 31 Jul, 2021 - 09:07AM
I would expect to meet fairly quickly. Or at least have a video call. I've had a few fake profiles message me. There are Red Flags like sending obviously fake photos and never wanting to engage with a video chat to prove then are who they say they are. Makes you wonder what these saddos actually get from subscribing on here if they have no intention of meeting. Scammers? Picture hunters? W**kers? 🤣
7 members like this comment.
WestisBest - 24 Jul, 2021 - 08:09AM
I’ve found it’s always different. Sometimes you meet quickly on here but it takes a while to arrange a date.
One lady I connected to I chatted and texted to for a few weeks before we met. It was fun. Although I think if you can’t meet quickly then phone calls are a good way to feel any kind of spark.
I think it’s important to meet quick enough to keep it fun but also just take it at whatever pace works for you. In the above case when we we met we got on so well we quickly arranged a second date and soon were having a fantastically fun adventure. So was worth the slower time to get to know each other and get excited about meeting.
2 members like this comment.
orchid1967 - 22 Jul, 2021 - 03:04PM
Firstly I said to myself, that I won't chat/meet anyone in my home town or within a 5 mile radius of it. Just in case.
I then set myself a geographical radius of how far I am prepared to travel. In my case an hours drive, so about 40 miles.
I then ignore anyone inside or outside these areas. I'm not saying I don't skim through the profiles or read the messages of those up to say 60 miles, but they have to say pretty good for me to take a second look.
I'd reply to a messages or message them and see how it goes.
I agree with others, that provided we get on well enough messaging, I'd be looking at perhaps chatting and/or arranging a meet within 5-10 days, depending on how well we get on and how often we chat.
In every case, there must be a mutual attraction if things are to progress and it seems pointless exchanging endless messages if when you meet you are not attracted to each other.
5 members like this comment.
1464781 - 21 Jul, 2021 - 07:32PM
Just meet up when your ready no matter how many messages you send. Its flattering but just make sure it doesn't interfere with normal life.
2 members like this comment.
Sigmaguy - 21 Jul, 2021 - 05:23PM
Doesn't anyone do any research on dating???? Oh... my.... God!!!!! The whole purpose of the exercise is to meet up! Not to send endless messages...
The more messages you send without wanting to go in a date, the more 'Time Waster Attention Seeeker' 'RED FLAGS' you are going to win... I'd stop wasting your time, there are plenty more fish in the sea... Actions speak louder than words...
8 members like this comment.
1386735 - 18 Jul, 2021 - 08:56AM
I would say meet ASAP
It’s the only way you’ll really know if there is a spark there
I meet pretty quickly, I just can’t bear endless messages. If there is an interest shown from both parties then meet ASAP then you’ll be able to gauge whether you want to continue or not.
5 members like this comment.
SatinAndLace44 - 17 Jul, 2021 - 03:13PM
Initiall messages are a quick way of filtering out the quality from the quantity.
Check out the persons details and eliminate all those that dont hit the spot and then focus on the rest.
Go with your gut feeling with messages, dont get too excited because people often dissappear as quickly as they arive.
If Mr Right or Wrong is out there for you, you will find each other and wait for that right time to connect futher. If you are pushed and out of your comfort zone delete.
I agree on all the safety tips provided by the other members and safety for both the man and woman is paramount over everything else. If this is purely for a sexual connection please not that most public meeting places and hotels are now also covered by CCTV :) so if they are not prepared to be spotted on camera they will not be so quick to risk this.
Hope this helps :)
3 members like this comment.
truth and logic - 17 Jul, 2021 - 11:29AM
@MANDY 62 safety is key here, also good to have reg numbers and let someone know..but 6 people i would never trust that many with my secret, luckly i let work know and say it is a meeting for work, so someone always knows where i am and whos car i might be in. After all safe sex is more than wearing a condom.
2 members like this comment.
1393321 - 17 Jul, 2021 - 07:38AM
I agree with SarahL about no time limit. And it depends on each one's circumstances and availability. However, I suppose I generally text for about a week, move on to a voice or video chat then arrange a face to face meet. I favour first dates in a park or meeting for coffee in public. Dont' do dinner because it's too much of an investment if the spark isn't there. But I do like to have a second and 3rd date very quickly to keep the momentum going. I feel I can see a person's patterns that way and more accurately decide if they match my own. Then, when the familiarity has built (and who knows how long that would take, as it's so individual), I would be ready for intimacy....TBC .... ;-)
3 members like this comment.
Beardandsandals - 17 Jul, 2021 - 05:27AM
Any kind of prolonged delay in the process is a good indicator to stop at that point.
It is NEVER worth the wait.
12 members like this comment.
Musicman89 - 17 Jul, 2021 - 02:58AM
I’m new on here but personally I think if you both connect after a few messages and trust each other to show your private pictures to each other I see no reason why you shouldn’t arrange a meet to see if you truly connect and get on. For me personally I don’t really get to know someone until I meet them x
3 members like this comment.
1422816 - 17 Jul, 2021 - 12:20AM
I don’t think you can put a number on how many messages you should share. It’s about feeling comfortable chatting and then taking through other mediums ie WhatsApp, kik and FaceTime etc.
2 members like this comment.
1463349 - 16 Jul, 2021 - 11:18PM
One problem I have is getting no reply or a reply to says lady wants to chat but then they never really do. So you waste so much energy in hope.
2 members like this comment.
1329251 - 16 Jul, 2021 - 11:12PM
Shouldn't be a time limit, should be when you're both 100% confident and ready x
2 members like this comment.
1463136 - 16 Jul, 2021 - 10:28PM
The purpose of all of this is to meet someone! Obviously you must stay as safe as possible but, grab the bull by the horns and do it. If you are happy with the way conversations etc have gone then meet. I have about 6 friends who get told where I am going and who I am going to meet. I text reg nos of cars etc and ring them to let them know I am ok. Common n sense really. Xx
2 members like this comment.
truth and logic - 16 Jul, 2021 - 04:25PM
To me someone on line is always the person off line...exchange a few messages, hear their voice(often a first conversation can be a big telling point)still like what you think you know ...meet -up before you lose the chance , why waste lots of time finding out one way or another?Also mr just right for some fun have have met another while you message and message.
2 members like this comment.
1117169 - 16 Jul, 2021 - 02:38PM
@orchid1967
Spot on with that advice!
2 members like this comment.
1100888 - 16 Jul, 2021 - 01:36PM
You often have to jump when the iron is hot otherwise the competition will jump before you do. But it does depend on how well the conversion goes in the first place.
If conversation on line is stilted then a meeting will likely not work.
2 members like this comment.
Eliza Boo - 16 Jul, 2021 - 11:40AM
I'm kind of shocked when someone asks to meet really soon. Why would I want to spend even 1 hour with someone I haven't yet already decided is 'my type of person' regardless of whether I find them physically attractive or not? Meets take up time and there is more risk involved- do it has to be calculated.
Likewise jumping straight to another platform. I'd rather see what the personality is like first. That might be two days (if its just that instant karma on the page and it's been rapid fire where we just can't stop chatting and having fun in messages) or it might be weeks. It depends. But I don't think it's wise meet person to person before you've sussed someone out as much as you can through messages.
7 members like this comment.
1459408 - 16 Jul, 2021 - 11:39AM
Look I have only been on this site a very short time so what the hell do I know? Whether it’s a casual physical relationship you want or maybe a bit more of a long-term relationship of the mind and the body (Best to leave the soul out of it for now does any of us want to go that deep)
Maybe four or five messages containing a good bit of stuff about one another some questions /Photos exchanged yep those private ones then if the feeling is right a casual meet up for a drink or a coffee
Now come the meeting if we decide we don’t like the sound or the look of one another or the attitude we can both run screaming and shouting to the exit door saying never never again oh what a fool I was and oh what a mug I am But no doubt? we will all be back for another try with fingers crossed and every other part of the body crossed as well
2 members like this comment.
LoveLust - 16 Jul, 2021 - 11:28AM
I personally chat prefer chatting for a little while before meeting. Plenty of ladies have been very direct and asked for a meet immediately after reading my profile and viewing my pictures.
1 member likes this comment.
orchid1967 - 16 Jul, 2021 - 11:25AM
I've found everyone is different.
Some I can chat too on and off over the course of a day or week.
Depending on how we get on, I will either move to whatsapp or kik or e mail, or a mix. If it still appears to be going well, then I'd want to meet for a coffee somewhere neutral and with people around. Then take it from there.
Having said that, I did chat to one guy. exchanged loads of messages and arranged to meet him the next day. We didn't click in person so its not going anywhere but I think it was worth it.
On average I would say a week is about right, sooner if he sounds good .....
I think the important thing is go with your gut instinct, its usually right.
8 members like this comment.
ExoticOrchid - 16 Jul, 2021 - 11:14AM
windthruthetrees - 16 Jul, 2021 - 10:09AM
"If you just want a physical relationship then there is little point in lots of messages."
Not necessarily.
Personally, I would meet ASAP as meeting in person is the ONLY way to find out how two people will get on NO MATTER what kind of liaison they are looking for [unless they are time wasters who only want some online ego trip or a penpal and that goes for both men and women].
8 members like this comment.
windthruthetrees - 16 Jul, 2021 - 10:09AM
Hi. I guess it depends what you are looking for. If you just want a physical relationship then there is little point in lots of messages. As long as both parties want the same, then arrange to meet as soon as you want. If you are looking for an emotional connection, then exchanging a few messages over a period of time will probably lead to a better first meet. How long that is will depend on how you feel connected in the messaging.
3 members like this comment.
Currently online:
Registered Users: 627
