AlexLNU

About Me:

I'm going to take a slightly different approach to my profile here. I gather most ladies' inboxes are jammed-packed with 'hihowarya!'s and other 'pick me!' pitches. So I'm going take a bit more time on this profile to try to give you a bit more of a picture of who I am, and I'll mainly leave it up to the reader to decide if I sound worth contacting.

Think of it as a bit of a filter too - if you get bored easily and want four sentence vacuity rather than substance, I wouldn't want to sleep with you either. So there *phthbbbbttttt!!!*.

First bit is the obligatory 'about me' bit. Second bit you'll find the usual 'what I'd like' wish list. But at the end of this section I'll put what I call my 'intimacy rants', essentially erotic mediations, mostly mirthful microblog moments. I'll try to update or add to these when I have a moment. My most recent is contrasting doggie style and reverse cowgirl (10 June 2025).

First off (this is the 'about me' bit), you're not going to hear a bunch of moaning rubbish about being bored or 'my wife doesn't understand me' claptrap. I am married to a beautiful woman whom I love very much but who, for medical reasons, is unable to function sexually.  It recently became clear that this will not change, ever. Which makes for a hell of a dilemma.  I am a fully functional male and in reasonably good health.  And really would rather not spend the remainder of my life celibate by force of circumstance.

What then to add to the bare bones of the profile checklist? I'm a mainly desk-bound professional so I make a substantial effort to stay in good physical nick. I've been in the traditional Asian martial arts since my teens and remain very active. That leads to body type, and 47 years training in martial arts means a physique you could describe as cylindrical and solid rather than the inverted triangle of youthful athleticism. I did a little self-test a short while, and could still handily do the left and right splits without warming up, 100 standard push-ups and 50 v-snaps which are an especially fiendish abs exercise that combines simultaneous sit-up and leg-lift and clapping behind the knees. That's more an expression of relief than a boast given the challenges of maintaining work-life balance.

Otherwise I'm an unreconstructed nerdling. So here come some potential utter deal breakers for otherwise promising potential matches ... Music? Film scores. Love and collect. Will tolerate some 70s/80s prog/experimental. Currently bingeing Radio 4's In Our Times. TV - recent binges would include Matthew Sweet's Radio 3 'Sounds of the Cinema', Only Murder In the Building, Andor and especially 'Natalie Haynes Stands Up for the Classics on Radio 4. Because what isn't hot about a sci-fi nerd feminist classicist who kickboxes and finds Dienekes' quip about fighting in the shade at Thermopylae 'kinda sexy'?

Moral of that latter nugget is that having interesting conversations and a good laugh matters a lot, both outside and in bed.

For the record, I've gone off the reservation before, but that was a long time ago and in a different context, and before interwebz dating was the thing. So I have experience of doing this sort of thing for real. And while I'm not absolutely averse to short-term dalliances my preference is for something medium to long term with one special, trusted person. Minds don't meet instantly (usually - one-glance 'kaboom's do happen), and lovemaking is very much a steady process of exploration, discovery and progressive revelations of deeper erotic and psychological intimacy.

Intimacy Rant 4:
Perpendicularity: So this one bugs me in a sort of self-reflective way. I really like doggie style, but am much less a fan of reverse cowgirl. But really they're pretty much the same position rotated (reflected? transposed?) 90 degrees backwards. So I've thought long and hard - um, as it were - about this. You'd think the obvious answer is the power exchange-D/S quality of doggie, or perhaps the raw animal quality as the name suggests. But actually, what I find different is the intimacy possible in doggie. You can lean forward over your lady because the angle in doggie tends to be 90 degrees or less, it tends towards an acute angle. In reverse doggie the women leans forward and away and so it tends towards an obtuse angle between the two torsoes. Honestly, if one is going to go to all the associated trouble of personally close enough to someone to be *inside* them wouldn't you want to be as close as possible to them in most other respects as well?

Intimacy Rant 3:
In Praise of the Female Pubic Bone or Some Of the Best Sex Happens When You Aren't Moving: There's this sweet spot, as it were, right at the junction of a man's pubic bone and the top of the base of the penis. It's not just sensitive, there's a leverage thing because the base of the cock runs right back into the pelvic floor. Fucking missionary deeply and at just the right angle can press the woman's pubic bone right into that sweep spot, pressing down against the whole deep shaft of the cock. Meanwhile you're pressed in as far into her as possible. Holding it there, pressing, leaning into it, is amazing for all involved. No other position delivers this, not doggie or cowgirl for all their other ... benefits. Stillness has its place in penetration.

Intimacy Rant 2:
Right, I'll admit it: I actually *like* putting on a condom. There's this moment when you're kneeling between a woman's legs, sometimes so hard it aches, you grab your shaft and start to roll the latex down and there's a kind of power-trippy, playful mock-menacing quality of 'boy are you going to get it now, lady!' All part of the symbolism and the choreography, part of the play.

Intimacy Rant 1:
OK, so I confess to always having been vaguely anti-pubic hair - even before the Millennials decided to make it fashionable to shave 'down there' (cue rolling-eyes emoji) and you started seeing pink and pastel razors in the women's department in Boots (in *Boots* fer Gahd's sake, what's this nation coming to?). A woman's sex is a wonderful thing, and even more wonderful to see when being penetrated. Who wouldn't want the clearest possible view?

Ideal Partner:

Have you seen this meme: two people meet in a bar, 1 asks 2 'What's your type?' and 2 says 'I'm a sapiosexual'; so 1 asks 'What's that?' to which 2 replies 'NEXT!' So I would be 2, mostly, although physical charms definitely have their place alongside wit and perspicacity. Plus more down-to-Earth traits like compassion and discretion (aren't we all so very highly amused by the fact that we all want to front load 'trust' in a situation like this?)

And, of course, passion - that need to breathe new life into their erotic self in a bubble of privacy, confidence and trust. I'd imagine you'd be in broadly the same age range as myself. And most likely you'll be in a situation somehow analogous or aligned with my own, or finding yourself otherwise solitary and celibate for one reason or another. At least seething with unrequited but unfocused desire....

A meeting of bodies works best when there is a meeting of minds, and temperaments. In my experience, not all sex is lovemaking but really good, purely desire-driven sex has an underlying lovemaking vibe. Mutual understanding and discovery is the foundation of the sensual artistry and choreography of sex at its best. No 'interpretative dance' jokes please.

I'm not geared towards a specific 'type' although it's nice to be with someone who makes an effort to look after themselves health- and fitness-wise. A nice waistline is nice, but that's as applicable to the curvaceous as the lithe. And attraction can be as much about an interesting face as one that is classically or textbook pretty. Who wants to be with impersonal plastic perfection?

I've no ethnic or colour palette preferences. I've been with ladies who are Caucasian, South Asian, East Asian and West Indian. OK, no gingers, but I'm not sure if that's one for the bucket list or, given their reputation, as Eastwood says at the end of A Fistfull of Dollars 'too dangerous.' About half have been passionately vanilla, the other half just passionately submissive - but, I hasten to add, at their initiative.

Other Interests:

Museums / Galleries, Literature / History, Martial Arts, Movies / Cinema

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