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Letters

Consider The Cougar

Dear Sara,

I joined IE a few years ago, expecting to meet men my age,
maybe a bit older. Imagine my surprise then, when I started getting messages
from guys much younger than me, who actually preferred an older woman! It was
all rather lovely and terribly flattering.

So, of course, I felt obliged to meet a few of them, and consequently
have had some wonderful times, making some good friends too. As I've got older I
find my inhibitions have vanished and my adventurous side has surfaced
resulting in some rather fabulous escapades. And it's that mindset which
facilitates the mutual attraction. At my age, men have become rather
complacent, but a younger man is still ambitious. And when you have a guy who
is 14 years your junior, telling you what an amazing body you have (seriously?
after two children and all these varicose veins), it's a defining moment. And
one I'll put on repeat thank you very much.

I'd like also to mention stamina, but I think that might be
just rubbing too much salt in the wound of an older guy. But please do
remember, there IS truth in the old adage that quantity is not a match over
quality.

It's all rather sad that society doesn't mind a partnership
between an older man and a younger woman (I'm not talking Anna Nicole-Smith
type age gap). But, be a mature lady with that young gun on your arm, and lips
are pursed in the most Victorian manner. If we ever do get out of the bedroom,
I hold my head high with my boy by my side. I want people to know this is NOT
my son, this is the man who satisfies me.

What I don't like though are the young pups, who imagine a
lady of my years is desperate. They also need to realise a certain amount of
sophistication is required - it doesn't begin and end with his youth.

As in anything assumptions should not be made. I'm also not
saying that an older man has no skill. The good ones have honed their
techniques too, and are definitely worthy of a romp between the sheets. We're
all, thankfully, different, and out there, in this big fabulous world of ours,
there's something AND someone for everyone.

A Cougar.

39 members like this. Like this letter

Comments (25)

marklondon37 - 18 Sep, 2012 - 03:19PM I think a lot of men - like me - tend to prefer more mature women. I'm in my 30s and I can see women in their 50s and 60s still active on IE and interested in finding a lover who can also be a friend. I guess it works better with a man once he is at least beyond that very young early 20s phase anyway! Like
Anonymous User - 10 Sep, 2012 - 05:59PM I met a 22 year old recently whilst it the sex was fantastic I still prefer the charm of a guy in their 40's....much more knowledgeable and able to get into my mind which I find is so much more stimulating. Btw I am 42 x Like
Anonymous User - 07 Sep, 2012 - 08:39PM Anonymous User - 07 Sep, 2012 - 02:48PM I couldn't agree with you more [especially the mammogram bit, haha]... one of my lovers is 23 years younger than me ... he said my body looks better than many 30 somethings [I too have had two children who are now teenagers] ... he was mature, intelligent and worldly and I'm so glad I didn't let the age difference bother me. I certainly didn't go looking for a younger man ... it just worked out that way ... none of my guys are over 45! 1 member likes this comment. Like
Anonymous User - 07 Sep, 2012 - 02:48PM Dear Anonymous User - 07 Sep, 2012 - 09:16AM, I am much older than you and I have had two babies who are now teenagers. My body is hideous to me, but I've gained my confidence in the time I've been with IE, because the lovely men with whom I've had relationships have been so supportive and admiring. At my age, like I said in my letter, my inhibtions are mostly gone. Once you've had your breasts squeezed into a machine for a mammogram, you learn not to care anymore! If that younger man sent you a message, he knows what to expect and isn't just looking for the physical, but for your maturity and experience. But, as I tried to say, everyone is different and we all stay within our comfort zone as far as possible.The most important thing is just to have some fun. Like
Anonymous User - 07 Sep, 2012 - 11:16AM i'm 54 and for 8 years had a lover and friend 13 years my junior and had things been different we would be together. Hand on heart he as well as being a great lover was my best friend. There was nothing we couldnt talk about and the sex was both loving and fun- in a different time and space i'm 100% positive he was my soulmate Like
Anonymous User - 07 Sep, 2012 - 09:16AM Dear Cougar What an interesting insight. I am a 38 year old lady and have received a fair bit of attention of gentlemen in their mid fourties and fifties although I have clarified in my profile that I am looking for someone between 35 and 42. It's nothing personal, I have never fancied men who are older than me. I just don't. It isn't for me. Narrow minded? Yes, in that respect, yes. I have also received just a few messages from guys ten years my junior. To be frank with you, I would love to have met one of them in particular, but I feel too self-conscious now. I have a son in junior school and my body changed since I had him. I lost the baby weight, but my body just feels different and I'd be mortified to show it to a young handsome man. This was not the case when I was in 28 or 30. I loved nothing more than meeting someone young and beautiful and full of stamina that'd keep me up all night. Cougar, I salute you for having the courage to get into bed with a dashing young man. You are obviously full of confidence and you must look great. Carry on getting compliments! For my part, I am sticking to men my own age... Like
jokingapart - 06 Sep, 2012 - 10:53PM I can't see the attraction of much younger (or older) lovers apart from the ego trip or the possibility of lots of money being spent. There's every possibility that I'm missing the point of course! I've dated both and it was a problem outside the bedroom, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable frankly. I need chronological commonality with the person I share intimate times with. Nothing turns me on more than moaning about the crippling cost of my kids' uni fees, to name but one example! Like
Anonymous User - 06 Sep, 2012 - 11:19AM Oh fudgefairy! That's my dream! A Cougar Like
Anonymous User - 05 Sep, 2012 - 09:02AM Mmmmmm....not an area to stray into I'm afraid. I'm not sure you would get away with it these days. Like
fudgefairy - 05 Sep, 2012 - 02:53AM Some interesting thoughts here! When I was 42, a very beautiful 17 year old boy fell in love with me. I had to think very carefully about how to proceed... was it fair when he might have found a girl his own age? The love letters,the very bad poetry he wrote me, compilation tapes of "our tunes", flowers, all the romantic things! It was amazing. His parents were aware of the situation, but turned a blind eye. Despite the huge age difference, we loved and laughed a lot and really liked each other as well. I really wanted to make sure that his first relationship was a happy one. It was a wonderful time. 1 member likes this comment. Like
sadiean - 04 Sep, 2012 - 10:27PM I think she is a Puma! Like
Anonymous User - 04 Sep, 2012 - 08:19PM As I'm now romping through my 30's, rapidly, I have had the sudden realization that my 20's are lost forever. But I'm loving it. The children are out of production and I am focussing on me. I don't want to be a 'yummy mummy' I want to be a MILF! I loved this letter, it's reassuring that there's plenty of mileage in the website yet! I say good for you! Lets enjoy it all before we're dead. Like
Anonymous User - 04 Sep, 2012 - 07:41PM I absolutely detest the word "cougar", it really does bug me! It's almost like all the women on here are labelled cougars when I actually prefer men older than myself! Like
Anonymous User - 04 Sep, 2012 - 12:04PM If a cougar is someone over 40....what is someone over 50 classed as? Simples.....a super cougar Like
DarkSide168 - 04 Sep, 2012 - 11:59AM Good for you! It's not for me or anyone else to judge another's behaviour (glass houses and all that) The whole point of people being here is to meet an unmet need, whether that is mental, physical or simple companionship. If it feels good, carry on! Like
Anonymous User - 04 Sep, 2012 - 10:06AM Never been out with anyone my age,give me the younger guy every time! Like
Anonymous User - 03 Sep, 2012 - 11:41PM Im in my mid 40's attractive and sexy. I get a lot of attention from guys in thier 30's. And i have to say that although men are supposed to look better than women as they get older. I havnt found this to be true for most men. I cant seem to find many men my age that i find attractive. A lot of men just let themselves go after 40. The younger man that behaves mature, is so much more attractive. This is what women have always wanted. But it is only now that women have the freedom to have what they choose. I think in future we will see even more mature women with younger men. 1 member likes this comment. Like
Anonymous User - 03 Sep, 2012 - 07:06PM I have been approached by many younger men and find that when I tell them I am not interested in younger men they say 'but I love older women' they do not seem to understand why I do not want a younger man, I find it a little patronising. I have tried the younger man in the past and yes the sex was great, but I want more than that. My other half is a lot older than me, so I am most happy with men closer to my own age, is good to have so much in common, there is more to an affair than great sex, I want the meeting of minds too. I do have many friends both male and female who are a lot younger than me and I enjoy our interactions, but for a lover and friend I want someone on the same wavelength Like
Anonymous User - 03 Sep, 2012 - 04:52PM If a cougar is someone over 40....what is someone over 50 classed as? Like
Miss Frisky - 03 Sep, 2012 - 04:50PM I too have had a degree of success with younger men. They are often a lot of fun and age has never been an issue. It is certainly an experience i would recomend to other mature ladies out there .It taught me never to discount a guy because of age . Not sure i would like to be labelled 'Cougar' though !!!! My preferance however will always be a more mature man and there are some delicious older men on IE !!!! You can't beat life experience and old fashioned charm . xxx Like
ExoticOrchid - 03 Sep, 2012 - 04:02PM Much as I detest the term "cougar", I agree with everything said in this letter! Like
Anonymous User - 03 Sep, 2012 - 03:46PM I totally agree with this letter and have had a few trysts with a younger man and found them to be exciting , sexy and totally satisfying , the man in question was 14 yrs younger but a lot more mature than some of the older guys I have met , and was so caring and willing to spend time ensuring I had as good a time between the sheets and out of them too , so embrace the younger men on the site and dont disregard them just because of age , flaunt them and live up to and enjoy the cougar status ...we only live once make it count . Like
Anonymous User - 03 Sep, 2012 - 03:43PM I wholeheartedly agree with the above. I also have dated mostly younger men from this site, and had a few relatioships. Youngest was 22 years younger than me, in bed the age difference did not matter, the passion was there for both of us. He said he hadn't had such good sex in many years. I hasten to add he was in his mid-thirties, not a young boy. I now mostly have relationships with younger men, just my preference, I have an old man at home, why take on another! My current squeeze is 14 years younger than me, and our relationship is hot, hot, hot !!! I'm having the time of my life and don't regret any of it. Like
Alfa.com - 03 Sep, 2012 - 03:24PM Dear A Cougar Well you'll love this story then. I was working in a different location for a temporary period, not to distant from my folks...anyway I arranged for my mum, a very young looking 64 year old to meet me for lunch to catch up..she walked into my office, asked for me, and the office receptionist called through to say there was a lady calling for me in person. Anyway, as I left the building with her, I had a knowing glance from the 2 girls on reception... ...and when I returned after a long lunch, the whole office was talking about the 'hot chick' I'd taken to lunch and that she wasn't my wife...who was she ? Well I hated to burst my bubble...some of the men were obviously uncomfortable when I explained my 'lover' was actually my dear mother...the ladies in the office all wanted to know her secret, and the girls on reception ? well that's another story for another day. I suppose looking older than most around me also put me in the category too (my hair went south around age 22) but that has it's benefits too..fringe benefits ? ha ha... 1 member likes this comment. Like
mistressprowess - 03 Sep, 2012 - 03:23PM Interesting insight thanks A Cougar...my husband is 13 yrs my junior, I have no problem keeping up with him at all but sadly when all the excitement and passion runs dry in the relationship you suddenly feel you are in mother mode. I remember the days....lol when I was referred to as a 'yummy mummy' then I was a 'MILF' took me a wee while to work that one out...and suddenly I hit over 40 and now I am a 'cougar'... all rather amusing. I take care of myself, stay as healthy,fit and as sexy as possible, love to flirt and if you have got it all going on, and your switched on then why not have some fun! Go for it girl! Like