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Gone too soon

Dear Sara

Through your site I met a wonderful sincere man. Over 4 years the relationship grew to a strong friendship and one where boundaries and personal space was respected at all levels. When we were together, the time we had was intimate, it was sensual, it was full of banter and it was fun. It filled that void we had in our everyday lives.

This wonderful man died very suddenly. The shock, and the lost has been, still is, very overwhelming for me. The grieving in silence is unbearable. The best years of my life were with this man. I felt nothing but total contentment and happiness when I was with him and it has been an amazing experience for me to have felt this. I am not going to comment on how life is short etc, but would comment on not taking what you all have found, will find on this site for granted. We are all on here because of a void.

When you have found someone that fulfils that, embrace it and respect it.
Anonymous

Sara's reply :

So sorry for your loss, anonymous - but glad that you were able to meet someone on the site that made you feel this way. It's difficult at the best of times to keep these things a secret. Best of luck to you.

38 members like this. Like this letter

Comments (25)

Anonymous User - 28 Aug, 2012 - 11:53PM I knew of this potential huge and tragic problem when it happened to a friend.. During my own IE found six year Fantastic illicit relationship, we both recognised that if anything unexpected happened, it would mean the other wouldn't know. We chose each to give our lovers name and number to a trusted friend. Now it's over ( and I'm back here again !) ) there's no way of knowing how he is. Do others think this is a good solution or too risky ? Like
Anonymous User - 21 Aug, 2012 - 10:49PM I know how it feels,i lost someone close last year,(not off I.E though)had been seeing him for several years.He moved from my local town but we still kept in touch.On June 8th 2011 i tried sending him several texts to wish him happy birhtday, but said not received.It was only several weeks later i was told he had died,only aged 44.I am now actually seeing a single guy but a very private person and i asked him if anything was to happen to him how would i know?And i still don`t Like
Anonymous User - 21 Aug, 2012 - 12:10PM Sorry to hear about your loss,don`t think im being horrid by saying this as im just curious by what im saying now so hope im not offending you by saying this! How im wondering did you know he passed away as if he was married surly his wife would wonder who you were!But like the others I am sorry that you have had a great loss so sorry. Like
Anonymous User - 21 Aug, 2012 - 05:54AM I am so sorry for your loss. I have a wonderful man I met on IE 2 years ago. We are true soul mates and deeply in love. I have told him that my worry is that if some thing happens to him I will never know. Our only connection other than meeting is a mobile phone, such a fragile link. I feel great sadness for you, I can understand your pain. Love is a double edged sword, it gives great joy, also great sadness. May the Gods smile down on you and give you peace. Like
Anonymous User - 20 Aug, 2012 - 07:45PM I am so sorry for your loss ,your pain must be unbearable . I am quite emotional responding to your letter . I met a guy on here almost a year ago and we too share a deep emotional connection which i thought i would never find . My life is a richer and warmer place for him being in it . To find that special person is a once in a life time experience for many people and it is a priviledge to have them in your life . You will always have such wonderful memories of him , no one can take those away . I sincerely hope time is a healer xxx SM Like
Anonymous User - 20 Aug, 2012 - 01:05PM I found this very moving too (I am a man, but men have emotions too). It must be incredibly painful not being able to share your grief with anyone. I was also struck by the messages about not knowing if anything had happened to your lover. Imagine - emails and texts not replied to, you can't phone, just silence. I faced this some years ago when I was flying abroad and it was just after 9/11 and everyone was on edge. There was someone who was very dear to me then who would want to know if anything happened. So I wrote her a letter saying all the things I hadn't got round to, sealed it in an envelope, and placed it at the back of my desk drawer. With it I attached a note to my work colleagues asking them to forward the letter to the address I specified, and asking them to do it with discretion - I didn't explain why, but I expect they would guess. I think it would have been taken care of without getting back to my family. Like
Velvet Voice - 20 Aug, 2012 - 10:51AM What a deeply moving story, I am sad to learn of your loss. You are not alone and you musn't think you are. How fortunate you have been to love someone so deeply. Let out your grief, scream, write a letter to your lover, draw, plant something and watch it grow. Maybe there is a void, but that person you loved filled that and it will never go away! Like
Ondine_ - 20 Aug, 2012 - 09:58AM I have used IE for five years and have experienced some wonderful connections over the years so it has always been a positive experience. My father passed away, suddenly, 2 yrs ago and whilst going through his computer to complete admin functions etc I discovered he too had been a user of IE, his profile and the fact he had obviously been having a very deep relationship with a lady from Kent. As he had had affairs before it did not shock me however I did wonder what this woman who he shared some very tender words and moments with must be thinking regarding his sudden disappearance. The thought process after bereavement is quite strange. IE is a strange world and human nature never ceases to surprise me. Like
Anonymous User - 19 Aug, 2012 - 11:05PM Thank you all for your kind comments and support. My heart is broken. The grieving in silence continues and every moment is consumed with so many thoughts of sadness, pain, and loneliness of this lost. I miss him so much. You go on auto mode for the stake of the children who wonder why you cry quietly. You wonder how you can be strong with so much pain. But you do. Thank you again. Like
carouselgirl - 19 Aug, 2012 - 09:57PM Dear Anonymous I have found deep sympathy in your letter and it only puts a highlight on how short life is!. It is very sad that it can’t be shared with the people that also found him a presence in their life but i’m sure he will be ever grateful for your special time that you indeed had together x take care x Like
Anonymous User - 19 Aug, 2012 - 07:16PM What a very sad and moving story. While exploring new boundaries, we have to accept new and different risks, which we can't possibly plan for. I hope you are strong enough to move on and fill that void. Like
Anonymous User - 19 Aug, 2012 - 12:36PM I was touched by your letter and am very sorry for your loss. You have reinforced how time is so precious and noone knows what's around the corner. You were lucky to have found someone so special in your life; it's a rarity. Like
Anonymous User - 19 Aug, 2012 - 09:47AM I found the letter so moving it brought tears to my eyes.Wish i could be the one for that poor lady to be able to talk cry to share her feelings with .I can,t imagine how hard to have to hold all that hurt inside Like
Anonymous User - 19 Aug, 2012 - 01:07AM Surprising how there aren't any comments compared to the flood gates on issues like fifty shades of grey and other trivialities. Respect for the dead and the bereft still exists. Like
sexybabe37 - 18 Aug, 2012 - 11:10PM I am so sorry for your loss, I found your letter very moving, and how lovely that you had someone that you had such a wonderful connection with here!! xxx Like
Anonymous User - 18 Aug, 2012 - 08:40PM So sorry to hear your story, I really feel for you. That is my biggest worry, that something should happen to 'my man' and because of all the secrecy, I couldn't openly grieve with his family or friends, or worse still wouldn't even know what had happened to him. Like
Anonymous User - 18 Aug, 2012 - 08:00PM What a moving letter. I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose someone in such circumstances. I'm glad that you managed to find your soul mate and have four happy years with him ... My heart goes out to you xxx Like
MatureDomUK - 18 Aug, 2012 - 07:50PM Wonderful. We are all here to fill a void. Life is for the living. So live every day as if its the last. Be true to your inner self. Easier said than done, but he who never tied never achieved a damned thing. Go for it girl and hopefully you will find it again. You deserve it....you are worth it. Like
EbonyDesires - 18 Aug, 2012 - 07:29PM So beautiful to have been touched by such pure love and happiness. So sad it was taken away (((hugs))) thank you for reminding us all of the importance of a true connection. All my love to you xxx Like
Anonymous User - 18 Aug, 2012 - 06:54PM My condolences to you. The pain must be so deep at the moment. You have loved and lost. How does one find out one's secret lover has died. Sorry if that sounds insensitive but I do wonder? Like
Anonymous User - 18 Aug, 2012 - 04:50PM My firend's partner who she met on IE passed away Septmeber last year and she travels many miles to place flowers on his grave (without a name) because he has taken their secret to his grave. Like
Little Miss Naughty - 18 Aug, 2012 - 04:48PM The more I read stories like yours Anonymous, the more I too agree with the "life is too short" philosophy. Many of us get hung up on all kinds of silly things and can proscratinate until the cows come home. But none of us know what is around life's corners and for us not to savour every moment of joy and excitement we can with a lover is a crime and an insult to those who have lost their special friend. I hope that in time, you are able to find someone else who brings some comfort and sunshine into your life again. Love and hugs, LMN Like
clare17 - 18 Aug, 2012 - 10:41AM i'm sorry you lost someone so special to you and grieving alone must be awful. thing is, i often wonder how will i know if anything happened to my 'partner'and likewise? it's not like you can share your secrets of this site, unless you have a very trusted best friend, but even that has hazzards.... Like
Anonymous User - 18 Aug, 2012 - 12:44AM My sincere condolences and how nice that you had found this incredible person that gave you sincere love and happiness.I wish you all the best for the future.xxx Like
Fire-Cracker - 18 Aug, 2012 - 12:33AM Wow, what a sad story, I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you had that precious time together? The worst thing is not being able to share your grief. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk to someone who understands xx Like