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First date tips

Do:

Strike up a friendship first over the phone, make sure you can talk to each other.
Wait until you are comfortable with them before meeting, otherwise it could be awkward and uncomfortable.
Read the newspaper that day to give yourself something to talk about!
Let your date know what kind of place you are meeting, nothing worse than being turned away at the door because you haven't met the dress code!
Show up! If you have to reschedule then give as much forewarning as possible and offer new possible dates and venues.
Be prepared to meet on her terms, it can be quite daunting for a woman.
Go somewhere you are familiar and comfortable with to alleviate first date nerves.
Go with your gut feeling.
Make an effort to dress well and look and smell your best (but be careful with perfume or aftershave - you don't want them to go home smelling like you!)
Confide in a close friend about where you are going and get them to call at a fixed time to make sure all is ok.
Set the ground rules before meeting - make sure you both know what the date is about and where the line is drawn.
Arrive and leave independently - it's safer and if things don't work out it's easier for all.
Meet somewhere public but discreet.
Wait for your date outside the venue, its much nicer than trying to find someone in a busy bar or restaurant.
Opt for a short meetup on your first date. 1-2hrs max, perhaps for a lunch date or a quick evening drink. This keeps the pressure off but gives you enough time to get an impression of them.
Keep in mind the first date is about getting to know each other in person and seeing if there is a spark.
Be polite!
Put your mobile phone on silent or vibrate (but make sure you don't miss your friend's check up call if you have arranged one!)
Be confident. They have agreed to meet you right?
Have an exit strategy handy, just in case!
Speak soon after to let them know how you felt, don't lead them on if you are not keen, but on the same token don't just ignore them!

Don't:

Be misleading with your appearance, showing them pics from 10yrs ago will only lead to disappointment when you meet.
Expect too much from a first date, give consideration to first date nerves and maybe make a second date as things can rapidly improve on second meeting.
Be afraid to give a polite kiss hello and goodbye on the cheek.
Go somewhere you frequent with your partner, particularly if the staff know you.
Meet on your own, make sure it's a public place.
Rush things and press for any sort of sexual commitment on a first date.
Make lewd suggestions, you need to connect on a mental level first.
Try too hard to impress. As hard as it might be, just be yourself.
Forget your sense of humour. Make them laugh and you are halfway there!
Be afraid to admit you are nervous, but try to relax and enjoy it.
Bring hotel keys! (unless agreed!)
Spend the whole time talking about your partner, this isn't a counselling session.
Get in a car with a stranger no matter how well you think you might know them.
Call them by your partner's name!
Try and be someone you're not.

When and where:

A casual lunch allows for a more relaxed situation and keeps the pressure off both of you. It also allows you to have a time limit so that you can part easily.
If you are keen for an evening date, try for a few drinks in a pub - allowing you the option to extend it to a dinner date if all is going well. But keep in mind that the pub may well be busy on a Friday - not so good for intimacy!
A posh dinner may impress but also may put too much pressure on, a coffee date can be easier to walk away from and ensure neither party feels obligated.
A stroll through busy markets or a popular shopping centre can provide distraction if the conversation falters.
Bowling, dancing or ice skating can be good for breaking the ice - and can allow for a little tactile fun.
Somewhere with cosy recesses that isn't too brightly lit and unflattering may put you more at ease.
A nice hotel bar allows for anonymity and leaves the options open if things are going well.
Travelodges have a Brewer's Fayre attached - handy for a quick casual meet that can become more if you need.
A cafe in a park is a good all rounder - a coffee, a walk, a bit of romance.
A gig or a musical takes the pressure off if you both like them.
A game of pool at the pub can be fun for a laugh.

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WARNING: NOT EVERYONE IS SUITED TO HAVING AN AFFAIR. THEY ARE NOT AN ALTERNATIVE TO WORKING ON OR ENDING A MARRIAGE. NOT ALL AFFAIRS HAVE A POSITIVE EFFECT ON A MARRIAGE, SOME CAN BE VERY DAMAGING. ALWAYS CONSIDER OTHER PEOPLE AND IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE AN AFFAIR, PLEASE SELECT YOUR PARTNER WISELY.

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